Nouman Ali Khan – Use the Abilities That Allah Has Given You to Help Others – World Quran Convention

Nouman Ali Khan
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AI: Summary ©

The speakers discuss the use of "good people" in Islam, with the understanding that it is not just a general success definition. They also touch on the importance of human satisfaction and responsibility in achieving goals, and the significance of hesitation and shame in individual behavior. The speakers emphasize the need for individuals to fulfill commitments and create opportunities for others to benefit from their efforts, while also promoting resources for Muslims to learn about the QVC word "what" and its meaning.

AI: Summary ©

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			When people come and tell me that, Ustadh,
		
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			I don't know what to do with my
		
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			life.
		
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			I say, shame on you.
		
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			Allah put a ruh in you that is
		
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			so powerful that the angels were told to
		
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			do sajdah and you say, your ruh is
		
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			so weak, you don't know what to do.
		
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			Why are you belittling, why are you insulting
		
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			what Allah gave you?
		
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			You don't have the power to figure this
		
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			out?
		
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			Why are you acting helpless?
		
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			Why are you acting weak?
		
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			What Allah gave the human being is very,
		
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			very powerful.
		
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			In the next 20 or so minutes, I'll
		
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			be speaking to you about a couple of
		
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			ayat from the surah we are celebrating together
		
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			today, surah al-Insan.
		
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			And I wanna highlight just a few things
		
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			that Allah has mentioned in this from an
		
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			overview perspective.
		
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			There are lots of places in the Qur
		
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			'an where Allah talks about the people who
		
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			will go to Jahannam and the people who
		
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			will go to Jannah.
		
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			And Allah describes the people of Jahannam in
		
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			different ways.
		
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			One of the most common ways Allah describes
		
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			them is al-kafirun or al-kuffar, or
		
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			al-ladhina kafaru, those who disbelieve.
		
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			Or kazzabu bi-ayati, al-ladhina kazzabu bi
		
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			-ayati Allah, those who called the ayat of
		
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			Allah a lie.
		
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			Those who believed that the revelations of God
		
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			were not true.
		
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			But surah al-Insan is taking a very
		
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			different approach.
		
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			It's not using the word believers.
		
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			It's using the word al-abrar.
		
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			It's using a different word, good people.
		
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			It's using the word good people.
		
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			And you have to appreciate what Allah is
		
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			saying here.
		
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			You have to think about when this surah
		
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			came down.
		
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			When this surah came down, it came down
		
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			in Makkah, and the audience of this surah
		
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			was actually majority non-Muslims.
		
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			So non-Muslims were listening to this.
		
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			And now this message is telling them not
		
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			just that they should believe, but actually it's
		
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			saying, this place, this jannah is actually for
		
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			good people.
		
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			Instead of saying this place is for believers,
		
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			like other places in the Qur'an.
		
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			What Muslims learn from this is, actually there's
		
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			no difference, there's not supposed to be a
		
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			difference between a believer and a good person.
		
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			They're supposed to be one and the same.
		
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			So a little bit, I wanna tell you
		
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			just a little bit about the word abrar
		
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			and birr, and what it refers to.
		
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			The word birr in Arabic actually comes from
		
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			the word barr, which means land.
		
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			It actually means land.
		
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			And it's an antonym, it's an opposite of
		
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			bahr, which is ocean.
		
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			So there's barr and there's bahr.
		
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			They're two opposites, right?
		
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			Land and sea.
		
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			And the idea behind being on land, when
		
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			people were at sea, they're always worried about
		
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			drowning.
		
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			They're always worried about sinking.
		
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			I spoke to a sailor about this.
		
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			Actually I spoke to a general who used
		
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			to be in the navy.
		
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			And I asked him, when I read the
		
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			ayat of the ocean, I think about some
		
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			things, but I've never traveled by sea.
		
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			You know, the most I did was go
		
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			across a river in a boat.
		
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			But I haven't traveled by sea for months
		
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			and months like sailors do.
		
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			And I said, you have, you've spent so
		
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			much of your life out in the ocean.
		
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			What do you hear when you hear the
		
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			word of Allah talking about the ocean?
		
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			And he says, let me tell you something.
		
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			Every sailor that's out at sea, every time
		
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			they look at the water, somewhere in their
		
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			head they're thinking about their death.
		
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			Somewhere in their head.
		
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			Their death is staring at them.
		
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			At any moment, this water will become angry.
		
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			At any moment, a wave can come and
		
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			tip this boat over.
		
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			Doesn't matter how big it is.
		
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			At any moment, the color of the sky
		
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			can change.
		
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			The clouds can show up.
		
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			A storm can begin.
		
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			It is the most unpredictable, you know, situation
		
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			in the life of a sailor.
		
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			And when a storm is approaching, this is,
		
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			if it's good, they're thinking about when is
		
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			the storm coming.
		
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			And when the storm is coming, they're thinking,
		
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			am I going to survive the storm?
		
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			And when the storm is over, they're thinking,
		
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			when is the next storm coming?
		
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			We have to prepare for the next one.
		
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			So they're constantly thinking about death.
		
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			You know what that means?
		
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			There's a lot of stress and anxiety in
		
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			the ocean.
		
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			And when they finally reach land, especially in
		
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			the old days, when they finally reach land,
		
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			there's a, they kiss the earth.
		
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			They'll hug the earth.
		
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			They'll lie down on the beach.
		
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			And they'll just feel the sand in their
		
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			hand.
		
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			Like this is so amazing.
		
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			Why?
		
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			Because now they are on stable ground.
		
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			They've reached stability.
		
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			From this came the idea of goodness.
		
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			Meaning, you're a good person because your morals
		
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			are not fluctuating.
		
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			You're stable.
		
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			And you're doing something that puts you on
		
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			firm ground.
		
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			So the people that are no good are
		
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			all over the place.
		
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			And they can go up and down.
		
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			And they can sink at any time because
		
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			they're out at sea.
		
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			And the people of goodness have a level
		
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			of stability and calm.
		
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			They have a moral standard.
		
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			This is really interesting in nowadays, like the
		
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			times we're living in.
		
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			Because if you look at the last 30,
		
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			40 years, we don't even have to go
		
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			that far back.
		
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			We can go back 20 years.
		
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			The world is impressed mostly with Western media.
		
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			And in Western media, there was a definition
		
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			of right and wrong and what is okay
		
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			and what is not okay 20 years ago.
		
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			Even 25 years ago and 30 years ago.
		
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			And then five years after that, the definition
		
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			changed a little bit.
		
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			Then five years after that, it changed again.
		
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			Then again, then again.
		
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			So the conversation, for example, in the world
		
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			that's happening about gender right now, that conversation
		
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			did not exist 20 years ago.
		
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			Completely different.
		
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			So what people mean, even in the West,
		
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			what people mean by social justice today is
		
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			completely not what they meant by social justice
		
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			20 years ago.
		
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			It has completely changed.
		
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			So their definition of right and wrong is
		
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			like being at sea.
		
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			It goes this way, it goes that way,
		
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			it goes this way, it goes that way.
		
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			Al-abrar people, their definition of right and
		
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			wrong is stable.
		
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			They understand that Allah has given them something
		
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			within them that qualifies this is right and
		
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			this is wrong.
		
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			And Allah is appealing to humanity and saying,
		
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			when you consider the word of Allah, there
		
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			is something moral inside you and there's something
		
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			in the word of Allah, they will connect
		
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			with each other and you'll realize this is
		
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			in fact the truth.
		
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			This is the goodness that you feel inside
		
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			you anyway.
		
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			Instead of the Quran convincing you that killing
		
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			is wrong and stealing is wrong and lying
		
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			is wrong and zina is wrong, et cetera,
		
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			et cetera, et cetera.
		
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			Actually in one sense, Allah's argument is you
		
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			already know it's wrong.
		
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			You already know.
		
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			And the Quran is only confirming it.
		
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			It's actually only confirming what human beings feel
		
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			inside of them anyway.
		
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			I was really interested in this question of
		
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			goodness.
		
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			Because different societies should have different definition of
		
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			goodness.
		
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			We're Muslim, so we have our own definition
		
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			of what it means to be a good
		
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			person.
		
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			But a Christian might have a different definition.
		
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			The Aborigines in Australia may have a different
		
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			definition.
		
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			The Hindus may have a different definition.
		
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			The Buddhists may have a different definition.
		
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			And though all of them have different belief
		
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			systems, one of the most interesting things throughout
		
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			history is nobody said killing is good.
		
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			Nobody said stealing is good.
		
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			Nobody said lying is good.
		
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			Nobody said cruelty is good.
		
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			Nobody said impatience is a good thing.
		
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			Nobody said mocking someone else is a good
		
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			thing.
		
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			Nobody said arrogance is a good thing.
		
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			Nobody said being ungrateful is a good thing.
		
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			Their definition, across cultures and across religions, it
		
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			seems even though these cultures sometimes have nothing
		
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			to do with each other, there are some
		
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			basic values that they all somehow share.
		
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			Where did that come from?
		
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			The anthropologist will tell you, well, you know,
		
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			we develop these values over time.
		
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			But if we develop them over time, then
		
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			some societies should have different values that they
		
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			developed over time.
		
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			Some others should have different values that they
		
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			developed over time.
		
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			But at the core of humanity, there is
		
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			a basic understanding of morality that everybody understands.
		
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			Everybody.
		
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			Allah put rahmah inside every human being.
		
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			If you were, doesn't matter if you're a
		
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			Hindu or you're an atheist or you're a
		
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			progressive or you're left wing or you're right
		
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			wing, it doesn't matter.
		
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			If you're walking down the street and you
		
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			see a child got hurt, immediately something, nobody
		
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			will look at that and say, good.
		
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			Nobody will look at that, you know, and
		
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			say, that's great, I wish more of that
		
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			would happen.
		
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			Nope.
		
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			Except in one country we know now.
		
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			But any decent human being will look at
		
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			that and say, I should help that child.
		
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			I should find out if they're okay.
		
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			If you saw somebody, if you're walking in
		
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			the mall doing your shopping, an old lady
		
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			just fell down.
		
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			You're not gonna check their religion first.
		
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			You're not gonna check it, you're just gonna
		
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			help them.
		
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			Because you're a human being.
		
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			This is not even because you're Muslim.
		
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			This is because you're a human being.
		
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			Allah is first telling us in this surah,
		
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			inviting humanity to go back to the goodness
		
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			they already know inside of them.
		
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			And the Qur'an is only confirming that
		
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			goodness.
		
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			That's the call to al-abrah.
		
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			Now, let's take it a step further.
		
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			There are two things I want you to
		
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			be aware of in these eight minutes that
		
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			I have.
		
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			I just wanna share this one piece with
		
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			you.
		
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			Terrifying, actually.
		
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			There are two things in Islam.
		
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			If I think of my obligations to Allah,
		
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			it's just two things.
		
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			I'm responsible for myself.
		
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			I'm responsible for myself.
		
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			And I have some responsibility to others.
		
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			I'm responsible to earn halal, that's for myself.
		
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			I'm responsible to pray, that's for myself.
		
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			I'm responsible to be truthful, that's for myself.
		
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			I'm responsible to be grateful, that's for myself.
		
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			This is what, at least, there are obligations
		
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			or responsibilities I have that apply to myself.
		
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			But there's another part of my religion where
		
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			I owe something not to myself, but to
		
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			others.
		
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			There's others.
		
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			And it's interesting that Allah uses the word,
		
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			يُفُونَ بِالنَّذِرِ They fulfill the pledge.
		
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			Describing good people, Allah says, I'll translate in
		
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			simple English, they fulfill the pledge.
		
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			What is the pledge?
		
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			Without going into a deep dive.
		
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			One meaning of the pledge is, we made
		
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			a pledge to Allah when Allah created us.
		
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			أَلَسْتُ بِرَبِّكُمْ قَالُوا بَلَا Am I not your
		
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			Rabb?
		
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			We all said, yes, we pledge to Allah
		
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			that He's our Rabb.
		
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			Which means, we told Allah, we promise that
		
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			we will take care of our responsibility.
		
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			But I said there are two parts.
		
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			There's the responsibility you owe to Allah for
		
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			yourself, and there's another responsibility for others.
		
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			نَذَر has another meaning.
		
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			نَذَر means you came up with a promise,
		
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			you came up with a commitment you made
		
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			to Allah.
		
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			Let me explain نَذَر in easy words for
		
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			you so you understand this concept.
		
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			If a student, if I had a class,
		
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			and I had a student, I told him,
		
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			finish this homework, this homework, this homework.
		
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			Three assignments.
		
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			He finishes all three assignments.
		
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			But then my student comes to me and
		
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			says, Ustadh, I promise you, I'm gonna do
		
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			not three assignments, I'm gonna do five assignments.
		
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			I didn't ask, I only asked for how
		
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			many?
		
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			Three.
		
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			When he's doing three assignments, he's doing اطاعة,
		
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			he's obeying me.
		
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			But when he says, no, I promise you,
		
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			I pledge to you, I commit to you,
		
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			I will not do three, I will do
		
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			five.
		
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			That's نَذَر.
		
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			The نَذَر didn't come from me.
		
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			It came from the student.
		
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			It was initiated by the student.
		
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			They said, I'm gonna do it.
		
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			And if you understand that meaning in this
		
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			ayah, one part of the نَذَر is, we
		
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			made a pledge to Allah that we will
		
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			obey Him.
		
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			But then we went out of our way.
		
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			Some people went out of their way.
		
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			They joined this ummah.
		
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			And when they joined this ummah, they made
		
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			a pledge to Allah that they will represent
		
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			and they will bring goodness to the rest
		
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			of humanity.
		
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			It's not just about me.
		
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			I'm gonna help others too.
		
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			I'm gonna bring khair to the world too.
		
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			كُنتُمْ خَيْرَ أُمَّةٍ أُخْرِجَتْ لِلنَّاسِ We made an
		
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			additional promise to Allah.
		
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			Not just about...
		
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			So now, if you understand that meaning, I've
		
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			made a commitment to Allah that my life
		
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			is not just about me.
		
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			My life is not just about I better
		
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			make sure I eat halal chicken.
		
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			My life is not just about I better
		
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			get married and not be in a haram
		
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			relationship.
		
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			My life is not just about my family,
		
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			my needs, my requirements, my shari'ah, my
		
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			fiqh.
		
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			No, no, no.
		
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			My life is also about what am I
		
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			going to do for others.
		
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			And that meaning is then reinforced in the
		
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			next ayah.
		
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			وَيُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامَ عَلَى حُبِّهِ مِسْكِينًۢ وَيَتِيمًۢ وَأَسِيرًۢ By
		
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			the way, before we go to that ayah,
		
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			just look at this ayah.
		
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			يُفُونَ بِالنَّظْرِ They fulfilled a pledge.
		
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			Now they made a promise to Allah and
		
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			now they're doing everything they can to fulfill
		
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			that pledge.
		
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			But can everybody fulfill that pledge the same
		
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			way?
		
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			If Allah gave you the ability to teach,
		
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			then you can fulfill your pledge by teaching.
		
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			If Allah gave you the ability to fulfill,
		
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			if Allah gave you a really good business
		
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			mind, you're very good at building a business,
		
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			then you will fulfill that pledge by creating
		
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			halal businesses and halal work opportunities and other
		
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			people can earn legitimate rizq and you can
		
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			benefit your society and the economy and the
		
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			society by creating more businesses, you're fulfilling the
		
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			pledge.
		
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			If somebody else is an amazing writer and
		
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			they can contribute in the space of writing,
		
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			if somebody is a filmmaker, if somebody is
		
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			a doctor, whatever talent Allah has given you,
		
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			that's you have to figure that out.
		
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			Because according to the ayah, you made the
		
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			pledge.
		
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			You can't come to me anymore or anybody
		
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			else and say, Ustadh, I don't know what
		
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			I'm good at, please tell me.
		
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			When people come and tell me that, Ustadh,
		
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			I don't know what to do with my
		
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			life.
		
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			I say, shame on you.
		
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			Allah put a ruh in you that is
		
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			so powerful that the angels were told to
		
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			do sajdah and you say, your ruh is
		
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			so weak, you don't know what to do.
		
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			Why are you belittling, why are you insulting
		
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			what Allah gave you?
		
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			You don't have the power to figure this
		
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			out?
		
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			Why are you acting helpless?
		
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			Why are you acting weak?
		
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			What Allah gave the human being is very,
		
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			very powerful.
		
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			It's not something small.
		
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			It is not something small.
		
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			It's so powerful that while every other creation
		
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			of Allah just obeys Allah, this creation of
		
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			Allah went and made a pledge to Allah
		
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			that they want to do more.
		
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			That's how powerful this thing is.
		
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			So stop acting helpless.
		
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			I don't know what to do.
		
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			Maybe you're not being tough with yourself.
		
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			Maybe you're not asking yourself that question.
		
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			And whenever somebody does come to me, I'm
		
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			nice, mostly.
		
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			Somebody comes and ask me that question, what
		
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			should I do?
		
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			I say, I'm gonna come back to Malaysia
		
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			next year, inshallah.
		
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			And I'm gonna see you and you're gonna
		
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			tell me how you answered that question yourself.
		
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			If you have any respect for the work
		
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			that I do or I've benefited you in
		
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			any way, then you will answer that question
		
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			and you will come and tell me how
		
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			you answered that question yourself.
		
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			And not from me, from you.
		
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			يُفُونَ بِالنَّظْرِ But they're terrified also.
		
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			This is the last thing I'll share with
		
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			you.
		
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			They're terrified also.
		
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			You know the description of Jahannam and the
		
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			Day of Judgment.
		
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			There's many descriptions.
		
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			You know what the description is in this
		
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			surah?
		
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			كَانَ شَرُّهُ مُسْتَطِيرًۭا Its evil is mustateer.
		
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			You know what mustateer means?
		
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			Mustateer, the Arabs used to say استطار السيف
		
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			When the sword is inside the cover and
		
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			they pull the sword out, that act is
		
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			the pulling out of the sword from the
		
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			cover, that's called استطار.
		
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			كَانَ شَرُّهُ مُسْتَطِيرًۭا means they are afraid of
		
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			a day when the evil of that day
		
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			is going to come out like the sword
		
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			comes out of the shield, of the cover.
		
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			Meaning it's already there, it's just waiting to
		
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			come out.
		
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			And now what is the connection between their
		
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			pledge and the sword, the Day of Judgment?
		
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			What's the connection?
		
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			I made a promise to Allah and the
		
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			sword has already, every day that passes, the
		
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			sword is coming out more and more and
		
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			more and more which is Judgment Day.
		
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			I better hurry up and fulfill my pledge
		
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			because I'm terrified there's a day coming where
		
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			the Day of Judgment will be completely out.
		
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			It'll be in front of me.
		
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			So what do they do?
		
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			This is the last thing I'll share with
		
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			you.
		
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			In the next ayah you find that they
		
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			fulfill their pledge by doing something for others.
		
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			وَيُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامَ عَلَىٰ حُبِّهِ مِسْكِنًۭا وَيَتِيمًۭا وَأَسِيرًۭا They
		
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			feed others out of love of it or
		
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			out of love of Him.
		
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			There's two meanings.
		
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			They give others food even though they love
		
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			food themselves.
		
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			That's one meaning.
		
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			So in other words, they don't just become
		
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			consumers.
		
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			Mine, mine, mine.
		
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			Now they're like, I love this but because
		
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			I love this, I love this for someone
		
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			else.
		
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			I want others to have it because I
		
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			like it so much.
		
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			Their mindset changes.
		
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			They're thinking helping others actually makes them happy.
		
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			Not shopping makes them happy.
		
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			Shopping for others makes them happy.
		
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			Not eating makes them happy.
		
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			Like, I love this burger.
		
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			This is my favorite burger.
		
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			You know what what يُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامَ means?
		
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			When you give someone else your favorite burger
		
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			and you see the smile on it, now
		
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			I'm happy.
		
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			Because عَلَىٰ حُبِّهِ I love it but now
		
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			I want others to have what I love.
		
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			And another meaning of that is out of
		
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			their love of Allah.
		
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			They just wanna help because of the love
		
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			of Allah.
		
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			For the young people here, just understand, you
		
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			might hear we have to provide a service,
		
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			we have to do something for the ummah,
		
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			we have to do something for humanity.
		
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			But nowadays, a lot of people that think
		
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			they're doing something for humanity are still doing
		
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			something for themselves.
		
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			I wanna create content for the ummah but
		
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			I just wanna make sure my channel is
		
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			growing and I find enough sponsors and في
		
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			سبيل الله and I wanna make sure the
		
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			right filters are on.
		
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			في سبيل الله I'm helping humanity with this
		
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			filter.
		
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			Right?
		
00:20:06 --> 00:20:09
			You're telling yourself that you're doing this for
		
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			others but actually it's still an expression of
		
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			love for yourself.
		
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			I have to be careful of that, you
		
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			have to be careful of that.
		
00:20:16 --> 00:20:20
			وَيُطْعِمُونَ طَعَامًا عَلَىٰ حُبِّهِ Last thought of this,
		
00:20:20 --> 00:20:21
			I know my time is now up.
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:26
			Is that when I give...
		
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			Allah says, they give food.
		
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			They give food.
		
00:20:30 --> 00:20:31
			Don't think this ayah just means you go
		
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			buy a sandwich and give somebody a sandwich.
		
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			Don't think this ayah means they take some
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:38
			money and give somebody money and say, hey,
		
00:20:38 --> 00:20:39
			get yourself some food.
		
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			No, no, no, there's more meaning to this.
		
00:20:43 --> 00:20:46
			The deeper meaning here is if I went
		
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			to someone...
		
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			I went to a man who was hungry.
		
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			I went to a woman who's starving.
		
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			Instead of giving them food, I taught them
		
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			how to fix a car.
		
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			I taught them how to build a wall.
		
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			I taught them how to do some plumbing.
		
00:21:00 --> 00:21:01
			I taught them how to develop an app.
		
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			I taught them film production.
		
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			I educated them so they can learn to
		
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			make their own money.
		
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			And then they can feed themselves and they
		
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			can also feed other people.
		
00:21:15 --> 00:21:19
			So I created an entire machinery out of
		
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			يُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامًا They feed food, meaning, a modern
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:26
			way of looking at this would be, they
		
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			create economic activity.
		
00:21:29 --> 00:21:31
			They create economic activity.
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:32
			They create job opportunities.
		
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			They create education that will lead to more
		
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			productive sustainability.
		
00:21:39 --> 00:21:41
			They lead to a better economic condition for
		
00:21:41 --> 00:21:41
			the people.
		
00:21:42 --> 00:21:44
			And as they do that, this is actually
		
00:21:44 --> 00:21:46
			يُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامًا You know what that means?
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:48
			That those of you that are thinking about
		
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			starting a business, if you're thinking like the
		
00:21:52 --> 00:21:54
			American capitalist, you want to start a business
		
00:21:54 --> 00:21:56
			and make as much profit as possible.
		
00:21:56 --> 00:21:59
			If you're thinking يُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامًا you will make
		
00:21:59 --> 00:22:01
			profit for yourself, but one of your main
		
00:22:01 --> 00:22:04
			goals is you want your employees to have
		
00:22:04 --> 00:22:06
			decent salaries, and you want them to have
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:08
			good housing, and you want them to have
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:11
			a good Islamic environment in your business, and
		
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			you're actually feeding their bodies and their souls,
		
00:22:13 --> 00:22:15
			and their families, and creating a صدقة جارية
		
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			for yourself and them.
		
00:22:18 --> 00:22:20
			يُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامًا عَلَى حُبِّ This is the نذر
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:22
			we made with Allah.
		
00:22:23 --> 00:22:24
			That not only will we be good to
		
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			ourselves and be good ourselves, we're going to
		
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			create good in the world that can keep
		
00:22:29 --> 00:22:30
			producing more and more good.
		
00:22:31 --> 00:22:34
			And you, each of you, myself, we have
		
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			to think about what is it that we
		
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			are going to give to the world that
		
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			can create that good more and more and
		
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			more.
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:42
			Instead of that good coming back to us,
		
00:22:42 --> 00:22:43
			it's going out.
		
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			And the more good that happens, the more
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:48
			we feel happy, the more we actually love
		
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			it.
		
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			May Allah عز و جل make us people
		
00:22:50 --> 00:22:51
			that live up to the spirit of these
		
00:22:51 --> 00:22:53
			powerful ayat.
		
00:22:53 --> 00:22:54
			And may Allah عز و جل make the
		
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			audience here, especially in those that are watching
		
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			online, may Allah make this message something that
		
00:22:59 --> 00:23:02
			allows you, Allah blesses you, to create a
		
00:23:02 --> 00:23:04
			lot of good in this life for yourself,
		
00:23:04 --> 00:23:06
			and for others that benefits you in both
		
00:23:06 --> 00:23:08
			worlds, this world and the akhirah.
		
00:23:08 --> 00:23:10
			بارك الله لي ولكم السلام عليكم و رحمة
		
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			الله و بركاته I hope you guys enjoyed
		
00:23:13 --> 00:23:13
			that video clip.
		
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			My team and I have been working tirelessly
		
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			to try to create as many resources for
		
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			Muslims to give them first steps in understanding
		
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			the Qur'an all the way to the
		
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			point where they can have a deep, profound
		
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			understanding of the Qur'an.
		
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			We are students of the Qur'an ourselves,
		
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			and we want you to be students of
		
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			the Qur'an alongside us.
		
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			Join us for this journey on bayyinatv.com
		
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			where thousands of hours of work have already
		
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			been put in.
		
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			And don't be intimidated.
		
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			It's step by step by step so you
		
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			can make learning the Qur'an a part
		
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			of your lifestyle.
		
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			There's lots of stuff available on YouTube, but
		
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			it's all over the place.
		
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			If you want an organized approach to studying
		
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			the Qur'an beginning to end for yourself,
		
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			your kids, your family, and even among peers,
		
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			that would be the way to go.
		
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