Nouman Ali Khan – They Bully Me at School – Cute Question, DEEP Answer Q&A

			I decided a long time ago, some people are not worth any space in here.
		

			So they're not worth anger. They're not worth frustration. They're not worth me thinking about them
because if I give them mental space, they're living rent free in my head. And they're if I'm giving
them my my anger, I'm spending something on them. That's too expensive. My emotions are too
expensive to spend on this useless person
		

			so first of all, thank you for choosing Stuttgart to come here
		

			while you're right,
		

			so my question is like in school.
		

			My name is yaku by the way, and I
		

			am in school like some people the tease my name because y'all cop like the Christian way in German.
And then the play caller purposely and then also like to my culture, which really hurts me
sometimes. And sometimes, if I'm annoyed, and
		

			I really want to know about
		

			like, I don't physically hurt them. Like it just
		

			like, I'm just like, please don't do this. Like it hurts me a lot within this to go on, like, what
should I do, then? Thank you for your question. Your man, it takes a lot of courage to ask that
question.
		

			First of all, I think that bullying is not okay. A school is a place where children should feel
safe, and should be safe from any kind of prejudice. And you guys are German taxpaying citizens, you
have a right to, you have a right to give your children a healthy education. And if your children
are going to school, they have a right not to be bullied and to be mistreated. So I think parents
whose children are being mistreated in that way, should really seriously take it up with the school
administration and fight for the safety and protection of their kids. I think that's a fundamental
thing as a community that we should do. And we shouldn't just do it for our for our own children, we
		

			should do it for every child. Like that's not just something we should do for our own kids that oh,
they're biased against Muslim kids. No, no kid should be no child should be treated unfairly or
mistreated. The Quran said, you know,
		

			lay a football adult to having the skin you know, or your daughter or your team, he pushes the
orphan. So the abuse of a child wasn't even about a Muslim child, it was about any child. And even
verbal abuse is a kind of smell. So one thing is, you know, you should tell your teacher about this,
you should tell your parents about this and they should talk and maybe they should have a
conversation with the parents of those kids who should really know better. But other than that young
man, you're going to face lots of situations where there's going to be people that are going to say
stupid things. Okay. And Allah tells His Prophet that he has to face people saying all kinds of
		

			stupid things he says way the Hurtado will die do not call Lucerna when he when you meet people that
are acting ignorantly that just walk away peacefully, you'll ever have to deal with people like
that. Right? And the other thing is, there was a time where the prophet slasher was his name is
Mohamed and somebody tried to insult him and say his name is Muslim. Mohammed means the one who is
praised with a means the one who is cursed. Okay, so they tried to twist his name and turn it into
something else. And the Prophet says, I'm simply responded, they're not talking about me.
		

			So when they say, whatever a twist of your name, then you're just act like you don't even hear it.
		

			Because you know what, to people like that. We call them trolls.
		

			You know what they need, they need your attention. And the more you look like you got hurt, the more
they do it, the more you act like they don't even exist,
		

			then they get angry. You have to learn to change the game, instead of you being the one who's angry.
They should be the one being angry. And then they'll say, oh, that didn't work. Let me act even more
stupid. And then let me act even more so and let them make a fool of themselves. But the more you
show that you're being hurt, or it's affecting you, the more it encourages them to act in that way
you understand? So there are a you know, there are some people who don't like me very much they say
things I don't say anything. They say more things. I will say anything. Then they get really angry
when I see still Herpe
		

			because he's because I will say anything because that's not that's the worst thing because they'll
the best thing you can give them as your attention
		

			That's the best gift you can give them deserve that gift. Last thing I'll tell every one of you this
is not just about this young man. Yeah, cool. And by the way, if they see your name in German, the
German version or the British musical, you, Jacob, or how do they say the German?
		

			Jakob,
		

			all of that is totally fine.
		

			From an Islamic perspective, you know why
		

			Yakov, his name, is actually Hebrew, and it was converted into Arabic by the Quran.
		

			Okay, and so the name can actually change in how it's pronounced, and from culture to culture. Okay.
And, you know what, as far as the name is concerned, it's not an insult. Your name is the Arabic
version of that. Okay? But this don't consider this an insult your name, they don't even realize it.
But they're not really insulting, you
		

			really should try harder.
		

			But the comment I'll make to the rest of you is
		

			I had to learn this the hard way for myself, look, human beings, we have limited energy in the day,
yes or no, physically. And at some point, our body says, Enough fall asleep. The same way you have
limited emotional space. You have limited emotional space, you can use and you have limited reserve
in your heart, you have to decide where to use it.
		

			I decided a long time ago, some people are not worth any space in here.
		

			So they're not worth anger. They're not worth frustration. They're not worth me thinking about them.
Because if I give them mental space, they're living rent free in my head. And they're if I'm giving
them my my anger, I'm spending something on them. That's too expensive. My emotions are too
expensive to spend on this useless person.
		

			What have they given me that I should spend on that? I would rather use the space that I have this
limited space that I have on myself or on people or on Allah, who are worth it. But not on anyone
who's not worth it. And you have to decide you may have people in your own family sometimes that
have been you for years they've been they've been saying mean things to you. And every time they say
mean things to you, you're like I can't believe they said that it hurts me so much. Eventually, you
have to learn, hey, you know what, I am the one giving them the space. I am the one allowing them to
let me get angry, I need to stop giving them the space because they clearly don't deserve it. It's
		

			it's better spent somewhere else, then it's so good because at some point, it's not even their fault
anymore. They're doing what they're doing. Now it's your fault for allowing it to hurt. You have to
develop that kind of a, you know, there's people that belong in the inner circle and there's people
that belong in the outsides, you have to push push some people to the outside sometimes.
		

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