Nouman Ali Khan – Prophet Muhamamd – Road to Hajj #04 Faith and Marriage in Islam
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the history of the Prophet's actions, including the conflict between Islam and religion, the use of the hand, and the lack of respect for actions. They also touch on the political and cultural impacts of the treaty of Hudaybiy assurance, the importance of acceptance of teachings, and the use of "will" in building strong relationships. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding peace and liability in relationships, finding peace and liability in relationships, and finding victory. They also discuss the potential danger of young men getting angry and screaming at young people during violent protests, and the importance of du creator elements in influence.AI: Transcript ©
Now in that moment,
you notice the the most tragic part of
this entire story was when Rasulullah salallahu alaihi
wasalam
told them to get up, and they didn't
get up.
He told them to slaughter the animal, and
they didn't slaughter the animal. He told them
to shave their head, they didn't shave their
head.
But actually, I would argue
that that is one of the most amazing
moments in the history of the world.
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Once again, everybody.
I'm gonna pick up from where we left
off. The last part of our discussion
was Umar bin Khattab's reaction when the entire
crowd was shocked into silence as the
prophet
agreed to these egregious terms,
even in the presence of Abu Jandal.
And the Muslims just can't believe what's happening
in front of them. And so he begins
by saying,
Are we not the ones that are committed
to the truth? Aren't we the ones that
are following the true path? And they're the
ones that are following the wrong way?
The
prophet
said, of course, we are.
Isn't it the case that the people that
get killed on of ours on our side
end up in Jannah, and the people that
get killed on their side end up in
hellfire?
He said, of course. Why
not? Then why are we lowering the hand
and putting it in front of them? Why
are we taking the weak position?
The the idea of lowering the hand
is you being a beggar, or you just
whatever you say, we'll agree as if we're
in a position of weakness. Why are we
acting like we're in a position of weakness?
Agree as if we're in a position of
weakness. Why are we acting like we're in
a position of weakness?
Why don't we just go back and let
Allah judge between us and them?
Let Allah decide.
Like Allah always does.
Rasulullah
He said, Son of Shatab, I am the
Messenger of Allah, no doubt.
And Allah will not allow me or my
mission to go to waste.
So,
walked off.
So the prophet said this,
Allah will not allow me to go to
waste, and Allah will not allow my work
to go to waste.
Is not satisfied, he walks off.
And he
and he wasn't patient with this response.
Still filled with rage.
So he approached Abu Bakr Sadiq
Same question to Abu Bakr.
Are we not the people following the truth?
Aren't they the ones that are wrong?
Aren't are are killed, go to Jannah, they're
killed, go to hellfire,
Then why are we lowering the hand in
the matter of our own religion? The belongs
to us, basically is what he's saying.
Same thing,
He is the messenger of Allah
And Allah will not allow him to go
to be put to waste ever.
This is a summarized version of the hadith,
saying that then later on, sometime later, Quran
was revealed to Rasul salallahu alaihi wa sallam,
and then he recited it to Umar Radiallahu
anhu. But that's actually something I'll describe to
you in more detail later. But right now,
we'll assume the ayah has not yet come.
Another narration describing the same incident. Abu Bakr
he comes to Abu Bakr. Umar comes to
Abu Bakr, said the ekul says,
Isn't he God's messenger?
Of course.
Aren't we Muslims?
Of course.
Aren't those
Of course.
Then why are we lowering the hand? Why
are we humiliating ourselves? Yeah, Omar Abu Bakr
Siddiq gets upset and says, Yeah, Omar,
Hold on to his saddle.
Meaning, it's an image of, you know, there's
the master on the horse, and the servant
is walking the rope of the the horse.
You know, is walking with him. And when
you're holding on to that rope that comes
from the saddle of the horse,
that's the imagery of stay loyal to your
master and show respect.
Right? So Abu Bakr as Siddiq is telling
Umar Radiallahu anhu, by the way, don't let
go of the saddle.
Know your
place. Get back in line.
You're you're getting out of line.
Because I testify that He is the messenger
of
Allah And he said, Yeah. Yeah. I testify
also that he is the messenger of
Allah. So in this narration it's flipped. He
first went to Abu Bakr, then he came
to the Prophet
And the Rasul responded,
I am Allah's Messenger, and Allah's servant, slave
and His Messenger.
I will not go against Allah's command.
And Allah will not allow me or my
mission to be put to waste.
He said, to the day I die, I
kept I continue even to this day. I
give charity, and I fast, and I pray,
and I free a slave whenever whenever I
can, because of my behavior on that day.
Like the guilt stayed with Umar
the rest of his life from that day.
Out of fear of the words that came
out of my mouth.
Until
I was I was hopeful
until I would become hopeful that there will
be some good that will come out of
it. But in other words, he remained fearful
of
that outburst that he had with Rasulullah
Okay. So now,
Rasulullah
By the way, I don't know if I
copied it down. Let me see if I
did.
There are narrations about the
there's something here. Maybe I wrote it down.
Maybe I didn't.
No. I don't think I did. Okay. If
I find it later, I'll come back to
it.
So we'll go back to the story.
One more thing in the treaty that was
agreed upon
that you should know is you can make
alliances.
So you we're not gonna fight each other.
So there's a treaty. We're not gonna fight
each other. 10 years.
And in that time, if you want to
make alliances with someone, you can. And let
me just tell you on a side note
what alliances means. What does wilayah mean in
ancient Arabic?
The Arab tribes were different sizes. Some of
them were small. Some of them were big.
Yeah.
And
sometimes, it was the way of the Arabs
that, you know, might is right. So you
could be attacked by any tribe at any
time.
Fair game.
There were some common rules. You're not gonna
kill women and children.
But if I like your camel,
and it's parked outside,
I might steal it.
I'm gonna try not to kill you.
I'll do my best not to kill you.
But your camel, if you're not guarding it,
or you're you're not strong enough to guard
it, or you don't have enough man to
guard your camel, I'm a I'm a try
to take your camel.
Okay. So everybody is fair game. And what
we have this, you know, honor among thieves,
we're not gonna kill each other's men and
women. Okay? So the bigger tribes were always
the scary big dogs, and the smaller tribes
were always worried that the big tribes are
just gonna come and take whatever whenever they
want. Nothing we can do about it. Right?
It's like the bullying
lunch and lunch break at school.
So this was their way.
But then they would develop something called. What
that means is one small tribe
goes to another 2 or 3 small tribes,
or a small tribe goes to a medium
sized tribe and says, hey, you wanna be
my will be will be to each other.
We'll be allies to each other. What that
means is we will do business with each
other. We'll marry among each other. We'll lend
money to each other. We'll share the same
well for our animals. We'll help each other
do better farming practices.
We'll share trade secrets, etcetera, etcetera. Etcetera, will
build strong economic, social, family, political ties.
Right? Like, for example, in many ways, what
the US has done with Canada, for instance.
Right? Or what Germany and Denmark have, for
example. Countries in the world that have strong
cooperation with each other. Or the maybe Singapore
and Malaysia or something.
Right? They they have strong economic ties, but
not like Pakistan and India. That would be
a bad example. Right?
So but there are countries that have good
economic ties with each other. They have open
borders like the European Union, for example, United
Front. Right?
And they what that does is not only
does it build strong connections because the borders
open, so family ties happen. Right? Social economic
ties happen. Cultural connections happen. Language gets shared.
But the other thing that happens is if
one of them is attacked, it's like everybody
got attacked.
Right? So they have a united defense against
the larger tribes. So wilayah was a concept
that was meant to bring people together.
And the ultimate the emergency case situation is
now we have a bigger defense.
Right? But it had other many other benefits
that came with it. The ultra, of course,
the final, you know, benefit is the military
benefit.
This is an important concept because this is
something Allah describes believers should have.
Allah
says, The disbelievers are to each other.
And then he says,
Believing men and women are to each other.
So what does that mean, believing men and
women are to each other? In the ancient
world, that meant if there's a tribe of
Muslims in one region, and another tribe in
another region, then they should have
business ties, family ties, economic ties, social ties,
political ties. They should make as much ties
as they can. Okay. Well, what happens when
Muslims are living in a as a minority
like we're living here? Or when Muslims were
living in Abyssinia back in the day in
Habasha?
Or when Muslims moved to, Al Faris or
Hind or wherever else where they were in
a minority. What happens then? Well, then you
might have a small congregation of Muslims in
one area,
and there may be another congregation of Muslims
in another area, and they should develop ties
with each other.
They should develop, you know, opportunities to engage
with each other. In fact, even within a
community now because, you know, we're we're living
in hyper individualistic
societies.
So there's a few of you sitting here
in front of me. You're attending this lecture,
but chances are many of you don't know
each other.
Right? And you're coming, you're the only thing
you have in common is the place you
put your shoes.
Right? You parked your cars. But other than
that, we don't have a lot in common
with each other. We don't know each other's
families. We don't know each other's backgrounds. We
don't know much about each other. Which means
even though we're we call it a community,
there's actually no in this community.
Not in the real sense. What is mean?
People's families know each other, they're socializing with
each other, they're finding out about each other's
businesses,
they're supporting each other's businesses. This is actually
a very key part of They're supporting each
other's businesses. And you know, another community that
is much better that has been historically much
better than us at this,
are any other minority community other than Muslims.
They're very good at The Hispanic community, amazing
at The Jewish community for over well over
a 150 years, incredible at The Chinese community,
amazing at They understand the concept of What
does that mean? Even when they move to
a country where they're treated like dogs, you
know what they do? They move in a
similar neighborhood, they start doing business with each
other, they start helping each other's kids at
school, they start babysitting each other's children, they
start having, you know, they they have marriages
among each other, they start businesses together, they
lend each other money, they help each other
with legal advice, this advice, that advice. And
when one time comes to buy milk, instead
of going to the grocery store and making
the multibillion dollar corporation richer, they'll buy milk
for 10¢ more from the local grocery guy,
and make him a little bit more money.
So his building gets his business gets built
up. When they're gonna get get their car
fixed, they could go to the brand mechanic
shop, or they can go to their guy
and get the car fixed, and they're gonna
support their local guy. They'll keep money circulating
within their
circles.
So the dollar will move
within them 4, 5, 6 times before it
moves outside of their commute. That's actually
That that's actually the concept of There's a
there's a trade priority
in The
United States, when it came to petroleum,
try to establish wilaya with the Saudis
for many years, the petrodollar. Right? So petroleum
there, the dollar here, and they got married
to each other. So the the petroleum is
measured in dollars per barrel per barrel. Right?
So that that's an economic that was created.
And look at the effects of that around
the world.
Look at the impact of that, and what
what's happening with bricks now, trying to come
and create a new form of economic
What I'm coming back to the subject, Part
of the agreement was, even though we're not
gonna be at war, we are free to
make allies.
We are free to make, you know, ties
of with whoever we choose.
Now, I want you to appreciate the the
I'm getting ahead of myself, but but still
it's it's it's remarkable to note.
The muslims have made so much impact now
already
that soon after this you I remember I
told you, there's Mecca, and right outside of
Mecca there's small towns, and smaller tribes. And
one of those smaller tribes, I did mention
before, their name is Banu Bakr
Banubakar.
And another tribe that I already mentioned is
Khuzaa.
One of the first negotiators that came came
from Khuzaa. Right? These are both, you know,
neighbors to Mecca, basically. Smaller tribes that are
originally affiliated with Mecca.
But soon after the treaty of Hudaybiyyah, so
many people in Khuzaa became Muslim
that they felt, even though the chief wasn't
Muslim,
the the the chief of the the government
wasn't Muslim, but a giant number of them
had become Muslim.
They felt it was better for them to
be affiliated to have
with the Muslims
in Madinah,
then better than that than to have with
their immediate neighbors, Quraysh.
So they actually became affiliates of the Muslims.
Banu Bakr remained mushrik. They remained on the
religion of Quraysh, idol worship.
So they felt religiously and culturally closer to
the Quraysh, they became tied to Quraysh. There's
another reason. The two tribes I mentioned were
Khuzaa and Banu Bakr. Yeah? Khuzaa and Banu
Bakr have a long history of stealing each
other's camels and goats, and killing somebody, and
you killed our guy, I'm gonna kill 2
of your guys. And they've been going back
and forth on the killing for a long
time, before Islam.
Then Islam happened, the Prophet
declared revelation
back in Makkah, this been now it's been
some time. And Islam was such a big
problem that they forgot about their fight with
each other.
Because they got a bigger problem to deal
with. What's the bigger problem to deal with?
Islam.
Now the treaty is about to be signed.
And when the treaty is signed for at
least for a few years, Islam is no
longer a
problem. And when Islam is no longer a
problem,
they're like, Oh, I remember I hate you.
So now they get
they get busy with each other again. Like,
you know, one of the things that for
example happened in Afghanistan, and when Afghanistan was
being invaded by the Russians, the Afghanis were
a united front fighting against the Russians. Then
the Russian army got receded,
and the Russian influence was gone. And the
Afghanis, all of a sudden, are
like,
oh,
I remember I hate you.
Okay? And then the infighting started. Right? So
it it very quickly. Because now there's a
situation of peace, then you realize and it's
human psychology at some level too. Right? In
a family, when there's a family emergency, everybody's
focused on the emergency. Even though they were
arguing about something before, when the emergency is
over,
go back to hating each other. Go back
and start the drama again. Right?
So this is something that is going to
come up a little bit later on, but
I'm making you aware that
the reason I wanted to bring this up
now is how powerful are the Muslims already,
that even the neighbor of Mecca
would rather make affiliation with the Muslims
than make affiliation with Mecca. This is not
some far away village, or some far away
tribe that says, Oh, Mecca is too far
away from us. We're closer to the Muslims
geographically rather make alliances here. No, they actually
and it's pretty gutsy because you're right next
to Mecca, and you're making
making ties with the enemy of Makkah. And
you're not even afraid that Makkah is gonna
come after you.
The only reason you wouldn't be afraid of
that is, you've realized how
basically,
paralyzed,
and how incapacitated
the Maqans have become.
That's the only way you could dare to
do that. Right? So this is already a
political statement about the weakness of, the Maqans.
Well, I'm getting ahead of
treaty,
he said to his companions, Rasulullah He's done
writing the treaty. They don't this power thing
I just told you, this hasn't happened yet.
So nobody's feeling better. I mean, we just
heard this and we felt a little bit
better. But they're not feeling better because they
don't know any of this yet. They just
know Abu Jannal had to go back, and
every item on the treaty went against us.
Every single one of them went against us.
And if the Quraysh are still free to
make whatever alliances,
God knows what alliances they'll make, and they'll
create even bigger problems for us. If we
made an alliance right next to their enemy,
right,
with with the, you know, then maybe they'll
make an alliance right next to us, in
our backyard. Like, you know, like the like
the Russians made with Cuba.
Right? And we had the Cuban missile crisis.
Right? So it's If you're gonna end up
in somebody's backyard, that's gonna be a problem.
Which is by the way why the Americans
intervened in the massacre, the Muslim genocide that
was happening in Kosovo,
if you remember. Right? So the Muslims were
being
mass slaughtered in Kosovo, and the United Nations
was watching and enjoying it. And the Europeans
were actually, even in their their,
you know,
national leaders in different European countries were actually
saying, This is good for Europe.
This is good for because they were cleansing
the Muslims,
you know, the Muslim,
contamination from Europe because they wanna keep it
Christian, or they wanna keep it secular. So
this was a they were actually okay with
it.
Clinton intervened,
and we went into Kosovo.
Right? And the the peacekeeping forces were essentially
American.
And Kosovo, I went there, you know, I've
been going there a few years,
you know, 90 something percent Muslim.
Right? And it's like they're new Muslims.
Because they they were living under Russian rule
for a long time, and they're rediscovering their
Islam. Right? So it's
that kind but they love America.
Like, I've never gone anywhere in the world
that doesn't make fun of America except Gozol.
Like, the American Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like,
I was like, they're listening to American radio
on the car in the car. They're like,
they act American, they try to sound American,
you know.
If you go to France and you mentioned
America, they're like, hey hey, like, you know,
it's
like different culture.
But why is that? Because,
they still have their
museums,
and their artifacts, and their history. And it's
not ancient history. This was in the nineties.
Right?
But if you look at it from the
American strategic perspective,
now they get to establish the biggest military
base in all of Europe, right in Kosovo.
Right in Kosovo. And it's right in the
backyard of Russia.
Right?
So they made
with an enemy that's close at the right
in the backyard
to keep an eye. You understand? So these
larger military games are played, and we need
to understand how that was even played in
the time of the Prophet
Right? So
the Prophet
Yeah. Again, this is long term thinking. But
nobody's thinking long term when there's a crisis
in front of you. So the Sahaba are
not thinking long term right now. They're just
thinking there's a crisis in front of them.
Rasuulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam signs the treaty
and says,
He tells the the Sahaba,
stand up all of you,
slaughter the animals,
then shave your heads.
Now the thing is, you're supposed to slaughter
the animal once you complete the rituals of
Hajj.
The Sahaba have already learned the ayat of
the Quran that talk about Hajj that have
been revealed in Surat Al Baqarah.
They already know the monastic of Hajj.
They already know what they're supposed to do,
one place to the other to the other.
They already know the importance of those rituals
because they were given by the they're the
answer to the du'a of Ibrahim
Show us our rituals, accept our tawba.
And what's the motivation to go to hajj?
That we want our hajj to be accepted
because it's the lifetime
right? It's a lifetime And they know that.
They know that life it's a once in
a lifetime
and they don't get to do it, and
they brought their animal. It's not like, you
know, nowadays,
many people are doing okay, so they can
spend a few $100 and get themselves a
goat, or a camel, or a cow, and
you can even choose on a drop down
menu what you want. They didn't have drop
down menus back then on your mobile device
to pick which animal you want. And animal
was like, for a lot of people, it's
like the most expensive thing they ever got
in their life.
And Rasulullah
is saying, Just slaughter it,
and then shave your head. Shave your head
means you completed hajj. It's the last ritual
of the hajj.
That means, you know,
Right? So,
when he tells them to do this, they're
in even an additional shock. It was already
shocking enough, but now it's as if the
prophet is telling them, Let's just pretend that
hajj is done, or umrah is done, even
though it's not done.
And he says,
no response. They're just sitting there. They didn't
even get up.
So he said it again.
Kumu
falharu
wahluku.
Nothing.
He said it a third time,
Get up,
slaughter the animal,
shave your heads.
1400
sahaba in front of him, I told you
only one was a
Remember?
And he already told you, the Messenger said
about these people, everyone of you will enter
jannah, the one who goes to this valley.
These are the elite of the believers.
These are the most loyal people to the
Messenger of Allah
These are the reason the ummah is 20%
of the world's population today, those people.
The people about whom Allah said,
Allah is pleased with them, they are pleased
with Allah.
The people about whom Allah said,
They
say, We hear and we what?
We obey. They heard, they heard, they heard.
But did they obey?
No. They just heard.
And they heard again. And they heard again.
And they didn't obey. And just hours before,
one of the leaders, you know, from, you
know,
from
when when he went back, what did he
say? These people, when he commands them something,
they compete with each other
in obeying his command.
They fight with each other, who's gonna obey
Him first?
Who's going to be the 1st to listen
to Him? This is their attitude originally. And
all of a sudden, Abu Bakr is sitting
there not getting up. Umar is sitting there,
Uthman is sitting there.
There are the elite of the sahabar sitting,
every one of them, every one of the
all stars sahabar sitting there,
and none of them is getting up.
And the Prophet
said it three times, This is the most
shocking
episode
between the Prophet and his companions
in the entire seerah of the Prophet
This has never happened before.
Never never has this happened before.
In fact, these are the same people when
he saw a dream, he didn't even say
it's Quran. He said he saw a dream
that they're doing hajj, and they knew this
meant death.
They could feel this means death.
Because the
I told you were really happy that they're
going to Mecca because they're gonna get killed.
They got up and they got they went,
No questions asked.
And now for the first time, they're not
getting up.
They're sitting where they are.
When not a single one of them got
up,
Rasulullah
went back in his tent,
to sallamah.
Now there's the Muslims are devastated,
but the Rasulullah sallam must have been really
devastated right
now. Because
all of these years of all of this
struggle that the messenger has done for the
sake of Allah, right,
The only thing that Allah has given him
that gives him the comfort of his heart
is that Allah has given him his sahaba.
That's what Allah has given his messenger
Allah didn't give him castles. Allah didn't give
him monuments, and buildings, and cities, and Allah
didn't give him any of that. But Allah
gave him a sahaba.
Right?
He used to say, Allah Allah
Watch out for Allah. Watch out for Allah
when it comes to my companions.
Whoever hates them, it's because they hate me,
they hate them.
And whoever loves them, it's because they love
me that they love them.
These are the great treasure of the Prophet
And for the first time,
he felt like he's losing them.
For the first time,
he feels like something is off.
And again, this is there's not a there's
there's not an ounce
of nifaq, there's no hypocrite in the crowd.
They're all back in Madinah happy that they
never left.
There so these are the believing believing believers.
These are
you know. These are I would even call
these
like in Surat,
Surat At Tawba. The first and the foremost,
the elite believers of the Mujahideen and the
Ansar. Both of them are in front of
him.
He goes to
He mentioned to her what happened with the
people.
What does this tell you? He's the general
of the military. He's not just the messenger
of Allah, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. He's the general
of
the Ummah's military.
And his closest
second in command, if you would argue, are
people like Abu Bakr al Siddiq and Umar
He could you could've imagined he said to
one of them, Come. I need to speak
to you separately.
Let me have a word with you. Let
me get your counsel.
You notice earlier on in this trip, when
he was about to see, should we go
to war or should we just go for
Hajj?
Abu Bakr as Siddiq spoke up, and helped
him out
to to stir the crowd in the right
direction.
But right now, he doesn't even have them.
And who does he go to?
He goes to his wife.
He goes to his wife.
This is not just some romanticized,
aggrandized
picture of what marriage is supposed to be.
It's actually one of the great spirits of
marriage itself.
The objective of marriage
is to have someone in your life that
when you can talk to no one else,
that's the person you can talk to.
That's the objective that's actually the Sunnah
of the Prophet SAWYSIWALLAH
SAWYSIWALLAH Now that's very easy to say
It's extremely easy to say.
I met a young man recently,
very young, but he's
doing well in school, has a full time
job, he can take care of himself as
young men should.
And he's, you know, not even 20 yet.
He got married.
Right? I'm proud of him because you know
what? If you're gonna man up early, then
good for you. Right?
And so he's, you know, you know, liked
some girl, proposed to the family. Alhamdulillah. They
got married. Okay.
Khalas. Meet him a few months later.
He goes,
I was like, how's married life? He goes,
different
and that
that breath in the beginning told me everything
I was like I know better it's okay
He had this picture in his head of
how things are gonna be. It's not how
things are gonna be. And a lot of
times young people are looking at other married
couples that are always fighting or arguing or
stressed out. They're like, all these stupid people
don't even know how to be in a
relationship. When I get married, it's gonna be
so different. Oh my God. These people I'm
gonna teach these people
what couples are all about.
They don't even know.
I got my education from Instagram.
They're not ready. The world's not ready for
this filter.
Problem is you cannot build that kind of
trust and that kind of relationship
and that kind of vulnerability.
That you can talk to someone about the
biggest problem you have, and there's not a
1% not 0.001%
chance in your mind that the person you're
talking to, your wife or your husband, is
gonna say,
are you surprised? Look at your behavior.
Didn't I tell you you shouldn't do this?
Like they're gonna throw it back in your
face.
Because if you need somebody to throw it
back in your face,
then you have to decide, do you wanna
be insulted by the closest person next to
you? Or would you rather stay quiet? And
most people that have an ounce of intelligence,
what will they choose in that scenario?
They'll choose to be quiet. And every time
you choose to be quiet, you become 1
inch further from your spouse. And then the
next time you're quiet, another inch further, another
inch further. And within a year, you're miles
apart from your spouse. You're sitting right next
to them, and you're having conversations with yourself
in silence.
And then they're asking you what's on your
mind, and you say nothing.
I was just thinking what should I watch
on Netflix?
I was just thinking I should take a
nap. That's not what you're thinking. You're lying
through your teeth because, you know, this is
not the person you can talk to.
This this is not the person.
Because you've already tried talking to them before,
and when you talk to them, the conversation
is one you what teaches you. That conversation
teaches you this is not the person to
talk to. You got educated by experience.
And that's what marriage has become for most
people.
It's actually pretty tragic.
It's just a emotional hostage situation.
That's what it's become.
Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wa sallam in this remarkable
narration has no one to talk to,
and he can speak to her.
What that teaches you is these women understood
something.
And the prophet taught them something, and they
learned something. And they the marriage is a
partnership also. They understood that this is actually
what marriage is about.
You see,
I have a relationship with my parents, and
all of you do.
Those of you who are who are blessed
to have your parents that are alive. Nobody
has an easy relationship with their parents. Let
me just be honest.
Okay? Nobody got an easy one. You could
tell her, I love my mom. I Yeah.
You you've had arguments with your mom. Shut
up. You've had you've had drama with your
dad. You've had arguments with your mom. Everybody
has some drama with their parents.
But you know what? As bad as it
gets with our parents, we didn't choose them
and they didn't choose us.
Allah made that choice.
Allah made that choice.
And so,
whatever drama is happening, whatever complications there are
with your parents, you've got to figure out
a way to live up to
You gotta do it.
That's what Allah chose for you.
Somebody got to be born,
of Firaun. Somebody got to be born of
Abu Lahab.
So tough.
You gotta make the most of
it. Figure out how to make that work,
but you gotta make it work. Why? Because
these are relationships that were not created by
human beings. The bond between those two souls
was created by Allah
But the bond between a husband and a
wife
was not
something that wasn't your choice.
That was you chose a spouse.
You chose a person.
You brought them close into your life.
Right? And when you make that choice,
then every time there is a problem, you're
like, I made the wrong choice.
Why did I make this choice?
I should've made a better choice.
Do I still have a choice?
So many choices.
And your mind will will not stop running.
Where why does the mind go in that
direction? Because the foundation
of a relationship
is false.
The foundation of a relationship is not anything
on the outside.
The foundation of a relationship is do you
find peace and tranquility in that person?
And if you'd and if you don't know
that yet, then you have to figure out
how to build that inside of a person.
Because beauty will wither away,
friendship will wither away, responsibilities will come and
you can't goof around anymore.
Some people say I used to really like
you before I married you.
They say that
I don't know what happened after we got
married. Well, when when you didn't marry someone,
they didn't owe you anything.
They didn't owe you anything. So you only
spoke to them to find
relief. To talk to them that made you
feel happy.
But you didn't have to worry about the
bills or the dishes or something your mother
said or something this one said or that
one. Yeah. None none of that. In fact,
when somebody if you if you're talking to
your fiance
in a halal way,
and their mom came in, and like, okay,
I'll call you later. I gotta go. Okay.
No problem.
But once you get married, what did your
mom say?
Was she talking about me? She looked at
me like that. Why did she look at
me like that?
Why didn't they call me first? Why are
they always coming over? Why does this hap
all of a sudden
all of a sudden, you create this you
know, before you and a lot of you,
I don't I'm not gonna call you guys
out. You're you're talking to the girl you
want to marry.
You're to you call it halal or whatever.
You call it you're talking to her for
hours, and you feel so this is the
one for me.
Okay.
You know why this is the one for
you? Because it's just you and her, and
nobody else.
That relationship is nobody else. The moment you
get married, you know what our mistake is
big time? You know what we do when
we get when we get our young people
married? Who gets in the way?
Everyone else.
Now the relationship isn't even about him and
her. You know the relationship is about? His
mother, her mother, his father, her father, brother,
sister, cousin, this, that, the other. Why Why
did you give them any gift? You didn't
give my cousin any gift. You you went
to their house. You didn't go to this
house. You did this Everyone else except them.
And they're like, Man, it was much nicer
when we weren't married.
And you know why? Because when you weren't
married, in the western sense, then it was
all about you too.
And when you got married, you made it
about everybody else.
That's actually what happens.
And what what does this deen teach us?
Marriage is fundamentally about who?
The husband and the wife. We've created this
cultural monster.
We've taken sakinah.
We've designed marriage in a way now in
Muslim communities.
And across the world, we've designed marriage in
a way that is meant to be miserable.
It's designed to be miserable
because we want everybody's intervention. And we've even
programmed young people that are getting married. They're
going in with the with the mindset that
they're about to go into a competition.
They're going to look at everything and say,
what did you do for your parents and
did you do that for my parents? What
did you do for your brother or your
sister? Did you do that for my brother
or my sister? Why did you give them
this? Why didn't you give them that? Why
did you say this? Why didn't you say
that? Why did you call this one? Why
didn't you call this one? Did you say
to them? Did you not say to them?
Did you Oh my god.
And you just create a set of expectations
because you're keeping score
one side or the other.
This is not a place you will find
peace. This is only this is only a
place you will find scorecards.
That's all you'll find. And you know how
those two tribes that are at war with
each other, They remember you killed that one,
and you killed that one. Now these two
people that are married to each other are
like Banu Bakr and Khuzah keeping score.
You remember last Eid, you said this, this,
this, to this, this, this, and you didn't
even blah blah blah?
And many of the kids here growing up,
this is all the nonsense they hear their
family argue about all day.
That's what they hear.
In this simple hadith, the prophet goes inside,
and he's speaking to
and he says, this is what they did.
This is not a when he is in
a position of vulnerability, he is in a
position of weakness,
he is in a position of, you know,
nervousness,
anxiety,
depression even.
This is not the time to prove yourself
right. This is not the time to say,
I told you so. This is not the
time to act.
Now that you put his guard down, is
it a good time to throw in a
hook?
This is not the time.
She says,
Prophet of Allah.
So she she doesn't even call she doesn't
call him by his name, and she didn't
even have to say, yeah, anything. She could've
just spoken, but she calls him prophet of
Allah, as if to say, don't forget you're
Allah's prophet.
Whether they listen to you or not, they
believe you're Allah's prophet, and I believe you're
Allah's prophet.
So don't be shaken about their con your
confidence in them.
Would you want them to listen to you?
Would you like that?
So she said,
go out.
She said, don't speak to anyone of
them. Do not speak. Sometimes
silence speaks more than words.
You spoken to them 3 times. Anymore,
and you know, being a student of psychology,
I look at this from a psychological perspective.
When you give instruction,
especially some of you have to deal with
teenagers.
Yeah? When you tell your teenager,
you know, Kareem,
come here. Kareem.
Kareem.
Kareem.
And he just walks out the door.
And you kept Kareem ing and he didn't
Kareem.
He wasn't Kareem with you.
But he walks out the door. Right? And
when he comes home, Kareem, you didn't let
Well, the first twelve times you said it
when you walked out the door, that didn't
work. Why do you think it's gonna work
now?
But you know what? In that moment, what
might work?
Silence.
He walks in, no acknowledgement.
He says, Assalamu alaikum,
look away.
Low tone. Sometimes the lower volume is the
scarier volume.
Right?
Usually you say, Are you hungry?
Did you eat? Where were you? No questions.
And he's standing next to you in the
kitchen, and he's like,
is there is there food?
And you ignore the question.
You just ignore the quest and you you
start talking to Zainab instead. Zainab, come here.
And all of a sudden, Karim's like,
I I I wanna say something.
You don't have to say anything.
I'm really sorry. I just I got really
mad at I'm not gonna do that again.
At this point, I don't think you should
still speak.
Don't start good evening yet.
Just give him a look.
That's it. Just a look.
Try it.
They'll start melting on the inside.
Their organs are gonna start infusing into each
other.
It's phenomenal.
I do it all the time.
You can do this with employees too, or
students, and if you're a teacher.
The tactic works.
But I do it. Sometimes silence is way
more powerful.
Rasulullah goes outside, doesn't say a word to
anybody.
She says go outside, don't speak to anybody,
until you slaughter your own animal, as if
they're not even there.
And then
call your barber, your cut the hair the
cut the hair,
and get him to shave you.
And he so he so he did this.
So he left. He didn't speak to anybody.
So he did all of that.
So he called his you know, the shaver,
and he shaved him.
When they saw that,
they all stood up.
Then they slaughtered their animals.
And they started shaving each other's heads.
Not a word was said.
Then some added in the narration,
But they were so frustrated, so while they
were shaving their head, some of them got
so mad at each other, they were almost
ready to kill each other.
You know when you're frustrated, like if your
if your team
lost a winning game,
and you're mad at each other, yo, don't
touch me.
Move over.
That's my bottle, etcetera.
They're mad at each other.
There's a rage in among them. But they
still shaved their heads, and they slaughtered the
animal, shaved the head. Meaning, they obeyed the
Prophet
And Rasulullah
Then, as this happened, Rasul, salallahu alaihi wasallam
made a du'a. They heard the prophet salallahu
alaihi wasallam make a du'a. Now some of
them shaved their heads, and some of them
didn't want to shave their heads, so they
just
cut their hair a little bit. Okay? So
the ones who shaved their head are muhalliqeen,
and the ones who cut their hair are
mukasirin.
Mukasirin and mukasirin.
Rasulullah
said, May Allah show rahma to the people
who shave their head.
They said, and the people who cut their
hair too,
the Surah Islam says,
May Allah show rahma to those who shave
their head.
Also
the
So the 4th time he said sometimes some
say he said it 3 times, sometimes he
says he said it 4 times. He said,
why did you delay it? Some people asked
him.
He said, because the ones who shave didn't
complain,
and the ones who cut actually complained. The
complaints came out of their mouth before.
So they didn't show absolute obedience.
Right?
Now,
so the now they're journeying back. The animal
has been slaughtered, by the way, one side
story you should know. Interesting story.
The animals that are slaughtered are sent
to
So they didn't let us do hajj, but
they're gonna enjoy our 8 meat.
The Quraysh are gonna have the meat.
And one of the animals they did have
was the camel of Abu Jahl that they
captured in Badr. Okay? So they said, You
know what?
They want the meat. Right?
We're gonna slaughter Abu Jahl's camel. Because there
was a famous camel that was known. It
was recognized. Right? It's like capturing the, you
know, the president's
motorcade or something. But,
so they and Abuja is long dead, but
they remember the camel.
So they slaughtered that camel, they decapitated it,
they put the head on a platter, and
they sent that first. Just as a passive
aggressive,
move.
But they sent the meat. Now they're traveling
back.
They're traveling back and nobody is okay with
this. Everybody is upset.
And so he's traveling with some of the
groups, and
is journeying with him in the night time.
So some narrations tell us, Umar bin Khattab
sped up his horse, came up to the
Prophet
and tried to ask him something.
The prophet didn't respond to him.
Then he came up to him again and
asked him again.
He he didn't respond to him.
Then he asked him a third time.
He didn't respond to him.
Part of that is,
the Rasulullah
said, stand up,
shave your head,
slaughter
the animal, shave your head. How many times
did he say it?
And what did they respond with?
Silence.
Umr bin Khattab spoke out before,
and that time he responded with silence.
Now he's coming up to the prophet
3 times, trying to speak to him, and
the prophet is responding with what?
Silence. This is not just revenge.
But sometimes the teacher, and in this case,
the the messenger
needs to make him understand what that feels
like.
Sometimes we don't realize what we're doing, what
the other person feels like.
Now he knows what that feels like.
Right?
And it's another
perspective.
Imagine you're the
follower of Allah's Messenger,
and you feel hurt that you're not being
responded to.
How much more hurt is the Messenger whose
follower you are,
when you're not being responded to?
So,
this dawns on him,
and he feels really terrible. So he
starts in one narration,
he took his horse and he charged it.
He ran off and he got 100 of
feet away from the rest of the caravan.
So now, Umar's horse is riding by itself,
and everybody else is by themselves. And he
says to himself,
Umar's mother,
may she lose her baby
about himself. Basically,
may I die? Like I'm as I'm better
off dead.
You defied the Messenger, you were aggressive with
the Messenger 3 times.
This is what Umar is saying to himself.
And so you And you went to try
to talk to the prophet 3 times, and
each of those three times he won't respond
to you.
So I moved my camel and I got
far ahead of the people.
And I was so scared that some Quran
is about to be revealed about me.
Because lesser things have happened, and Quran has
been revealed.
A woman came talking to the Prophet, Quran
was revealed. A blind person came running to
the Prophet and Quran was revealed. Quran has
been revealed for and this is a pretty
big thing.
So
I was really scared, some ayat are coming
and I'm permanently gonna have to recite those
ayat
about myself.
That's gonna happen.
Then all when I was kind of just
lost in my thought, all of a sudden
I hear somebody calling out for me.
So meaning the Prophet is calling you, Omar,
the messenger just called you.
Quran. I was like, oh, I know it.
He's gonna recite some Quran on me.
It's gonna be about me.
This is bad.
So I came to the prophet
and I said salaam to him.
Says,
a Surah was revealed to me today.
It's tonight.
I love the surah more than anything the
sun rises. It's
it shines its rays on.
Nothing under the sun is more beloved to
me
than this Surah.
And then he recited
the entire Surah Al Fath.
Inna Fathnahalaka
Fatham Mubina.
This
Surah was recited.
Now this surah is about 4 pages. And
one of my objectives today my my goal
today I mean, I I told you the
time is from 10 to 2. I'm not
gonna take that long. Trust me. I just
wanna give myself enough room to give you
mental breaks and to go through it. But
I wanna go, at least briefly, through the
entire surah. I've given somewhat of a detailed
lecture before on the surah.
But I wanna go through this entire surah
to you with you briefly. But before we
do that, I want you to understand some
takeaways from this this where we are right
now.
Umar bin Khattab listens to the prophet recite
the entire surah. The surah is about 4
pages long.
And the opening ayah of the surah is,
We have given you an obvious victory.
That's what the surah opens with. Allah has
given the Messenger an obvious clear victory.
After listening and that's the first ayah. Four
pages of listening to Quran, and here's Umar's
question.
Messenger of Allah, that
was that a victory?
So he's stuck on which aya?
He's stuck on the first ayah.
He's like, wait, Victor?
Abu Jandal?
The conditions of the treaty?
Crossing
out
crossing out Muhammad
Rasulullah, all these conditions, any Muslim that comes
and runs away we have to return back
to to the quaysh.
This was a victory?
And the prophet said, No.
Yes, it was.
Now let's go back a few minutes. Let's
go back 5 minutes. 5 minutes ago, did
anybody think this was victory?
Not even the Messenger of Allah
Nobody thought this was victory.
5 minutes later, what changed?
Quran. Quran changed
and your entire view of the political
situation,
your entire world view, your entire analysis of
what happened, your entire emotional state, all of
it has changed because Allah called it a
victory and He said,
was so happy deep within and he went
back.
This is the same Umar who was yelling
and screaming in anger,
who was just saying his her mother's lost
her child. This is how depressed he was.
And seconds later, the only difference the only
difference is the coming of Quran. Isn't it?
What I'm trying to tell you is, we
easily say the Quran is our world view.
But if you actually study the and understand
what that means,
their entire understanding
of reality would immediately transform
because of what Allah is saying.
And I I I Before we take this
break, I really want you to know what
that implies.
That implies I'm looking at reality with my
eyes right now. I can see you, you
can see me.
Allah has given this eye, this muscle, this
organ, the ability to absorb light and then
function as a camera. And I can see
you and you can see me.
But the Quran
calls itself Noor.
One of the names of the Quran is
Noor.
Now
without light, can I see?
No. Like physical light? Without physical light, this
eye is no good.
The same way the Quran is noor and
the light of the Quran helps me see
things that otherwise I cannot see.
This is the reality of the Quran.
Even though Sahabi can't see it, even the
messenger can't see it,
Allah the owner of
when he sends the of the Quran, the
light, what is the purpose of light? To
help you see something.
So when the Quran's light comes, it helps
you see something you could never have seen
without the light of the Quran.
And so even though they're living in this
event, they're living through this experience,
their experience
is lying to them and the Quran is
telling them the truth.
Their experience isn't more real than the word
of Allah that opens with, this was a
clear victory.
Even though from the visible, the physical eye,
they can't see how.
How in the world is this a victory?
I'm only gonna answer one part of that
question. There's a political response to that question,
which we'll get into a little bit later.
But I want you to understand the spiritual,
the more important part of this question.
There's a few of you here.
Let's take a scenario.
2 or 3 young men get very angry
with me. They get up and start yelling
and screaming at me right now
because they're they're younger guys and they're big
and they get up and they're making a
lot of noise.
Am I supposed am I is it easy
for me to calm them down?
No. 1, because they outnumber me.
2, because they're angry.
Right? And what if it's 10 people
that start getting at at the same time.
10 people
interrupt. There's 2,000 people in a hubba. 10
people interrupt a hubba, and they start yelling
and screaming. Can the khateem control that?
Now imagine if it's a 100 people.
Now imagine if it's a 1000 people.
Now imagine, in this case, 1,400
people. No microphone.
No microphone.
Now tell me, are those men that are
sitting in that audience, are they angry?
Yeah.
They're extremely angry.
They're screaming, Subhanallah.
How will he return to the mushrikeen? He
came to us as a Muslim. They're angry.
And when when young people get angry enough,
even if it's a peaceful demonstration,
it only takes 1 or 2 angry people
to start a spark. And what turns what
does a demonstration turn into?
It turns into a riot. Very good.
Does that happen in the world all the
time?
Yep.
This is why it's very dangerous to have
angry young men outside
because enough anger and it will turn into
something else. And whenever there's a peaceful, even
if there's a peaceful protest, what is the
government always do anywhere in the world?
They even if they're not gonna beat them
up, they're gonna have a massive police presence
because any peaceful protest because these
protest
because these people are angry that anger can
turn into violence
at any second.
Now these people are used to dying for
their Messenger
In fact, they love it.
They honor their Messenger
and they've seen their Messenger be insulted multiple
times in front of their face. Right now.
With the negotiators.
They will Allah describes them
as,
They give others preference over themselves.
And then,
you became brothers to each other. They saw
their brother bleed and cut, and be dragged
back. Didn't they?
Is that enough to maybe get one of
them to act out a little bit? Like
came close. Right? He put his sword next
to the animal, brought it close and says,
you know.
That happened.
But is it possible that one of them
would have 2, 1, 2, 3 yelling, screaming.
If every one of them, they started screaming,
If they started yelling and screaming, do you
think the Prophet's voice could even be heard?
You couldn't.
I couldn't.
Now in that moment,
you notice the most tragic part of this
entire story was when
Rasulullah told them
to get up, and they didn't get up.
He told them to slaughter the animal, and
they didn't slaughter the animal.
He told them to shave their head. They
didn't shave their head.
But actually, I would argue
that that is one of the most amazing
moments in the history of the world.
Because if that is the extent of their
protest,
that's the most they will protest is they
will delay getting up.
I don't think any group of human beings
that large with emotions that high can ever
demonstrate
that much restraint
ever.
I don't think that's ever possible.
And this is a demonstration
of the discipline
that these people had
that has never been witnessed in the world
before.
The restraint
and the control over themselves that they had,
the loyalty to the Messenger they had
that even when every ounce of their being
was questioning what he was doing,
And their rage and their anger was completely
justified,
completely justified,
they refused to act.
They refused to act on it.
And when they when they did that,
they actually passed one of the biggest test
there could ever be,
That of
having power,
having the ability,
and having the power,
and still
not acting.
It's one thing when you can't act when
you don't have power. But when you have
power and you still don't act now, this
is a different kind of test.
You know? When you can put someone in
their place,
and they're wronging you. And you choose not
to because you were told not to by
the Messenger
They demonstrated
that they were the most powerful group of
people on the planet.
The Rasulullah, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, was given the
the the mightiest
resource
on this earth.
The most remarkable human beings.
Actually, the ultimate victory that Allah gave to
the prophet is a sahaba.
Actually.
He already told foretold this. He said that,
you know, all of you are going to
be entering jannah, the ones that went through
this this journey.
And if Allah wanted,
had Allah wanted, the Quraysh would've surrendered.
Had Allah wanted, that would've been hajj.
Allah can make that happen.
But Allah didn't want that to happen.
Allah wanted the hajj to be prevented.
Allah wanted the sahaba to be frustrated.
Allah wanted them to experience that rage, and
then Allah wanted to reveal the surah.
That was Allah's plan.
And the whole objective of this surah is
to define one thing, victory.
That's actually the objective. Now I told you,
if you're if there was red light
right now in this room, how would everybody
look?
They look red. If there was green light,
how would everybody look?
They look green.
Meaning, the kind of light that goes in
here will influence what you see.
The Quran is coming, the Quran's light is
going into the heart. Yes?
And that's going to influence what I see.
In other words, before this surah came,
I had a definition of victory.
And this was not victory.
After the surah came,
I have a new Quran inspired definition of
victory which is very different from my old
definition of victory, isn't it?
This is what Allah was giving us.
In fact, victory is one of the most
important
concepts
in any civilization.
The ummah makes du'a for victory all the
time. Don't don't they?
With the genocide going on in Palestine right
now, we're always making du'a for the victory
of the Muslims.
Aren't we?
Was making dua for victory before every battle.
Is something we ask Allah for all the
time.
Allah is now going to give us a
perspective on fatt. Without Suratul Fatt, we would
never have had it.
And without
the emotional trauma,
and the difficulty of the Sahaba that they
went through, they would never have understood this
definition.
In other words, this definition that is being
given to us in Surat Al Fath is
very expensive. The sahaba went through a lot
to get this definition.
You understand?
So we really have to respect this definition,
and we really have to give ourselves to
this definition. So after
a good 10 minute break, we're going to
start journeying a little bit through the surah.
Maybe I'll give you a little bit of
a snippet from history more, and then we'll
journey quickly through the surah, and and highlight
some things that I think are important for
us to to look at.
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