Nouman Ali Khan – Prophet Muhamamd – Road to Hajj #04 Faith and Marriage in Islam

Nouman Ali Khan
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The speaker discusses the history of the Prophet's actions, including the conflict between Islam and religion, the use of the hand, and the lack of respect for actions. They also touch on the political and cultural impacts of the treaty of Hudaybiy assurance, the importance of acceptance of teachings, and the use of "will" in building strong relationships. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding peace and liability in relationships, finding peace and liability in relationships, and finding victory. They also discuss the potential danger of young men getting angry and screaming at young people during violent protests, and the importance of du creator elements in influence.

AI: Summary ©

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			Now in that moment,
		
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			you notice the the most tragic part of
		
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			this entire story was when Rasulullah salallahu alaihi
		
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			wasalam
		
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			told them to get up, and they didn't
		
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			get up.
		
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			He told them to slaughter the animal, and
		
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			they didn't slaughter the animal. He told them
		
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			to shave their head, they didn't shave their
		
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			head.
		
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			But actually, I would argue
		
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			that that is one of the most amazing
		
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			moments in the history of the world.
		
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			Before starting this video series, head on over
		
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			to bayguna.comforward/lulhijjah
		
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			to download our free guided workbook on the
		
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			Prophet's road to Hajj to use and study
		
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			with as a companion to this lulhijjah video
		
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			series.
		
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			Once again, everybody.
		
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			I'm gonna pick up from where we left
		
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			off. The last part of our discussion
		
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			was Umar bin Khattab's reaction when the entire
		
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			crowd was shocked into silence as the
		
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			prophet
		
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			agreed to these egregious terms,
		
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			even in the presence of Abu Jandal.
		
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			And the Muslims just can't believe what's happening
		
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			in front of them. And so he begins
		
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			by saying,
		
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			Are we not the ones that are committed
		
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			to the truth? Aren't we the ones that
		
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			are following the true path? And they're the
		
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			ones that are following the wrong way?
		
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			The
		
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			prophet
		
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			said, of course, we are.
		
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			Isn't it the case that the people that
		
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			get killed on of ours on our side
		
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			end up in Jannah, and the people that
		
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			get killed on their side end up in
		
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			hellfire?
		
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			He said, of course. Why
		
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			not? Then why are we lowering the hand
		
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			and putting it in front of them? Why
		
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			are we taking the weak position?
		
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			The the idea of lowering the hand
		
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			is you being a beggar, or you just
		
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			whatever you say, we'll agree as if we're
		
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			in a position of weakness. Why are we
		
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			acting like we're in a position of weakness?
		
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			Agree as if we're in a position of
		
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			weakness. Why are we acting like we're in
		
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			a position of weakness?
		
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			Why don't we just go back and let
		
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			Allah judge between us and them?
		
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			Let Allah decide.
		
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			Like Allah always does.
		
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			Rasulullah
		
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			He said, Son of Shatab, I am the
		
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			Messenger of Allah, no doubt.
		
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			And Allah will not allow me or my
		
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			mission to go to waste.
		
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			So,
		
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			walked off.
		
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			So the prophet said this,
		
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			Allah will not allow me to go to
		
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			waste, and Allah will not allow my work
		
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			to go to waste.
		
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			Is not satisfied, he walks off.
		
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			And he
		
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			and he wasn't patient with this response.
		
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			Still filled with rage.
		
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			So he approached Abu Bakr Sadiq
		
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			Same question to Abu Bakr.
		
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			Are we not the people following the truth?
		
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			Aren't they the ones that are wrong?
		
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			Aren't are are killed, go to Jannah, they're
		
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			killed, go to hellfire,
		
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			Then why are we lowering the hand in
		
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			the matter of our own religion? The belongs
		
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			to us, basically is what he's saying.
		
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			Same thing,
		
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			He is the messenger of Allah
		
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			And Allah will not allow him to go
		
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			to be put to waste ever.
		
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			This is a summarized version of the hadith,
		
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			saying that then later on, sometime later, Quran
		
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			was revealed to Rasul salallahu alaihi wa sallam,
		
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			and then he recited it to Umar Radiallahu
		
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			anhu. But that's actually something I'll describe to
		
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			you in more detail later. But right now,
		
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			we'll assume the ayah has not yet come.
		
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			Another narration describing the same incident. Abu Bakr
		
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			he comes to Abu Bakr. Umar comes to
		
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			Abu Bakr, said the ekul says,
		
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			Isn't he God's messenger?
		
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			Of course.
		
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			Aren't we Muslims?
		
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			Of course.
		
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			Aren't those
		
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			Of course.
		
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			Then why are we lowering the hand? Why
		
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			are we humiliating ourselves? Yeah, Omar Abu Bakr
		
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			Siddiq gets upset and says, Yeah, Omar,
		
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			Hold on to his saddle.
		
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			Meaning, it's an image of, you know, there's
		
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			the master on the horse, and the servant
		
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			is walking the rope of the the horse.
		
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			You know, is walking with him. And when
		
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			you're holding on to that rope that comes
		
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			from the saddle of the horse,
		
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			that's the imagery of stay loyal to your
		
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			master and show respect.
		
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			Right? So Abu Bakr as Siddiq is telling
		
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			Umar Radiallahu anhu, by the way, don't let
		
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			go of the saddle.
		
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			Know your
		
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			place. Get back in line.
		
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			You're you're getting out of line.
		
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			Because I testify that He is the messenger
		
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			of
		
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			Allah And he said, Yeah. Yeah. I testify
		
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			also that he is the messenger of
		
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			Allah. So in this narration it's flipped. He
		
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			first went to Abu Bakr, then he came
		
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			to the Prophet
		
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			And the Rasul responded,
		
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			I am Allah's Messenger, and Allah's servant, slave
		
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			and His Messenger.
		
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			I will not go against Allah's command.
		
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			And Allah will not allow me or my
		
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			mission to be put to waste.
		
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			He said, to the day I die, I
		
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			kept I continue even to this day. I
		
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			give charity, and I fast, and I pray,
		
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			and I free a slave whenever whenever I
		
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			can, because of my behavior on that day.
		
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			Like the guilt stayed with Umar
		
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			the rest of his life from that day.
		
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			Out of fear of the words that came
		
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			out of my mouth.
		
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			Until
		
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			I was I was hopeful
		
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			until I would become hopeful that there will
		
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			be some good that will come out of
		
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			it. But in other words, he remained fearful
		
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			of
		
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			that outburst that he had with Rasulullah
		
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			Okay. So now,
		
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			Rasulullah
		
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			By the way, I don't know if I
		
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			copied it down. Let me see if I
		
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			did.
		
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			There are narrations about the
		
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			there's something here. Maybe I wrote it down.
		
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			Maybe I didn't.
		
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			No. I don't think I did. Okay. If
		
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			I find it later, I'll come back to
		
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			it.
		
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			So we'll go back to the story.
		
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			One more thing in the treaty that was
		
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			agreed upon
		
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			that you should know is you can make
		
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			alliances.
		
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			So you we're not gonna fight each other.
		
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			So there's a treaty. We're not gonna fight
		
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			each other. 10 years.
		
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			And in that time, if you want to
		
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			make alliances with someone, you can. And let
		
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			me just tell you on a side note
		
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			what alliances means. What does wilayah mean in
		
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			ancient Arabic?
		
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			The Arab tribes were different sizes. Some of
		
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			them were small. Some of them were big.
		
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			Yeah.
		
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			And
		
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			sometimes, it was the way of the Arabs
		
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			that, you know, might is right. So you
		
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			could be attacked by any tribe at any
		
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			time.
		
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			Fair game.
		
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			There were some common rules. You're not gonna
		
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			kill women and children.
		
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			But if I like your camel,
		
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			and it's parked outside,
		
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			I might steal it.
		
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			I'm gonna try not to kill you.
		
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			I'll do my best not to kill you.
		
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			But your camel, if you're not guarding it,
		
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			or you're you're not strong enough to guard
		
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			it, or you don't have enough man to
		
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			guard your camel, I'm a I'm a try
		
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			to take your camel.
		
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			Okay. So everybody is fair game. And what
		
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			we have this, you know, honor among thieves,
		
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			we're not gonna kill each other's men and
		
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			women. Okay? So the bigger tribes were always
		
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			the scary big dogs, and the smaller tribes
		
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			were always worried that the big tribes are
		
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			just gonna come and take whatever whenever they
		
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			want. Nothing we can do about it. Right?
		
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			It's like the bullying
		
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			lunch and lunch break at school.
		
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			So this was their way.
		
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			But then they would develop something called. What
		
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			that means is one small tribe
		
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			goes to another 2 or 3 small tribes,
		
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			or a small tribe goes to a medium
		
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			sized tribe and says, hey, you wanna be
		
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			my will be will be to each other.
		
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			We'll be allies to each other. What that
		
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			means is we will do business with each
		
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			other. We'll marry among each other. We'll lend
		
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			money to each other. We'll share the same
		
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			well for our animals. We'll help each other
		
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			do better farming practices.
		
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			We'll share trade secrets, etcetera, etcetera. Etcetera, will
		
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			build strong economic, social, family, political ties.
		
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			Right? Like, for example, in many ways, what
		
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			the US has done with Canada, for instance.
		
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			Right? Or what Germany and Denmark have, for
		
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			example. Countries in the world that have strong
		
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			cooperation with each other. Or the maybe Singapore
		
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			and Malaysia or something.
		
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			Right? They they have strong economic ties, but
		
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			not like Pakistan and India. That would be
		
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			a bad example. Right?
		
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			So but there are countries that have good
		
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			economic ties with each other. They have open
		
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			borders like the European Union, for example, United
		
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			Front. Right?
		
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			And they what that does is not only
		
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			does it build strong connections because the borders
		
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			open, so family ties happen. Right? Social economic
		
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			ties happen. Cultural connections happen. Language gets shared.
		
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			But the other thing that happens is if
		
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			one of them is attacked, it's like everybody
		
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			got attacked.
		
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			Right? So they have a united defense against
		
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			the larger tribes. So wilayah was a concept
		
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			that was meant to bring people together.
		
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			And the ultimate the emergency case situation is
		
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			now we have a bigger defense.
		
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			Right? But it had other many other benefits
		
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			that came with it. The ultra, of course,
		
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			the final, you know, benefit is the military
		
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			benefit.
		
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			This is an important concept because this is
		
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			something Allah describes believers should have.
		
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			Allah
		
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			says, The disbelievers are to each other.
		
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			And then he says,
		
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			Believing men and women are to each other.
		
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			So what does that mean, believing men and
		
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			women are to each other? In the ancient
		
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			world, that meant if there's a tribe of
		
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			Muslims in one region, and another tribe in
		
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			another region, then they should have
		
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			business ties, family ties, economic ties, social ties,
		
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			political ties. They should make as much ties
		
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			as they can. Okay. Well, what happens when
		
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			Muslims are living in a as a minority
		
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			like we're living here? Or when Muslims were
		
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			living in Abyssinia back in the day in
		
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			Habasha?
		
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			Or when Muslims moved to, Al Faris or
		
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			Hind or wherever else where they were in
		
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			a minority. What happens then? Well, then you
		
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			might have a small congregation of Muslims in
		
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			one area,
		
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			and there may be another congregation of Muslims
		
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			in another area, and they should develop ties
		
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			with each other.
		
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			They should develop, you know, opportunities to engage
		
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			with each other. In fact, even within a
		
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			community now because, you know, we're we're living
		
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			in hyper individualistic
		
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			societies.
		
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			So there's a few of you sitting here
		
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			in front of me. You're attending this lecture,
		
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			but chances are many of you don't know
		
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			each other.
		
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			Right? And you're coming, you're the only thing
		
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			you have in common is the place you
		
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			put your shoes.
		
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			Right? You parked your cars. But other than
		
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			that, we don't have a lot in common
		
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			with each other. We don't know each other's
		
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			families. We don't know each other's backgrounds. We
		
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			don't know much about each other. Which means
		
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			even though we're we call it a community,
		
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			there's actually no in this community.
		
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			Not in the real sense. What is mean?
		
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			People's families know each other, they're socializing with
		
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			each other, they're finding out about each other's
		
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			businesses,
		
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			they're supporting each other's businesses. This is actually
		
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			a very key part of They're supporting each
		
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			other's businesses. And you know, another community that
		
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			is much better that has been historically much
		
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			better than us at this,
		
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			are any other minority community other than Muslims.
		
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			They're very good at The Hispanic community, amazing
		
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			at The Jewish community for over well over
		
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			a 150 years, incredible at The Chinese community,
		
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			amazing at They understand the concept of What
		
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			does that mean? Even when they move to
		
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			a country where they're treated like dogs, you
		
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			know what they do? They move in a
		
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			similar neighborhood, they start doing business with each
		
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			other, they start helping each other's kids at
		
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			school, they start babysitting each other's children, they
		
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			start having, you know, they they have marriages
		
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			among each other, they start businesses together, they
		
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			lend each other money, they help each other
		
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			with legal advice, this advice, that advice. And
		
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			when one time comes to buy milk, instead
		
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			of going to the grocery store and making
		
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			the multibillion dollar corporation richer, they'll buy milk
		
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			for 10¢ more from the local grocery guy,
		
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			and make him a little bit more money.
		
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			So his building gets his business gets built
		
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			up. When they're gonna get get their car
		
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			fixed, they could go to the brand mechanic
		
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			shop, or they can go to their guy
		
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			and get the car fixed, and they're gonna
		
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			support their local guy. They'll keep money circulating
		
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			within their
		
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			circles.
		
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			So the dollar will move
		
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			within them 4, 5, 6 times before it
		
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			moves outside of their commute. That's actually
		
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			That that's actually the concept of There's a
		
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			there's a trade priority
		
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			in The
		
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			United States, when it came to petroleum,
		
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			try to establish wilaya with the Saudis
		
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			for many years, the petrodollar. Right? So petroleum
		
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			there, the dollar here, and they got married
		
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			to each other. So the the petroleum is
		
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			measured in dollars per barrel per barrel. Right?
		
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			So that that's an economic that was created.
		
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			And look at the effects of that around
		
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			the world.
		
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			Look at the impact of that, and what
		
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			what's happening with bricks now, trying to come
		
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			and create a new form of economic
		
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			What I'm coming back to the subject, Part
		
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			of the agreement was, even though we're not
		
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			gonna be at war, we are free to
		
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			make allies.
		
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			We are free to make, you know, ties
		
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			of with whoever we choose.
		
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			Now, I want you to appreciate the the
		
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			I'm getting ahead of myself, but but still
		
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			it's it's it's remarkable to note.
		
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			The muslims have made so much impact now
		
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			already
		
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			that soon after this you I remember I
		
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			told you, there's Mecca, and right outside of
		
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			Mecca there's small towns, and smaller tribes. And
		
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			one of those smaller tribes, I did mention
		
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			before, their name is Banu Bakr
		
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			Banubakar.
		
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			And another tribe that I already mentioned is
		
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			Khuzaa.
		
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			One of the first negotiators that came came
		
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			from Khuzaa. Right? These are both, you know,
		
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			neighbors to Mecca, basically. Smaller tribes that are
		
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			originally affiliated with Mecca.
		
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			But soon after the treaty of Hudaybiyyah, so
		
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			many people in Khuzaa became Muslim
		
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			that they felt, even though the chief wasn't
		
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			Muslim,
		
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			the the the chief of the the government
		
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			wasn't Muslim, but a giant number of them
		
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			had become Muslim.
		
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			They felt it was better for them to
		
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			be affiliated to have
		
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			with the Muslims
		
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			in Madinah,
		
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			then better than that than to have with
		
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			their immediate neighbors, Quraysh.
		
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			So they actually became affiliates of the Muslims.
		
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			Banu Bakr remained mushrik. They remained on the
		
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			religion of Quraysh, idol worship.
		
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			So they felt religiously and culturally closer to
		
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			the Quraysh, they became tied to Quraysh. There's
		
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			another reason. The two tribes I mentioned were
		
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			Khuzaa and Banu Bakr. Yeah? Khuzaa and Banu
		
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			Bakr have a long history of stealing each
		
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			other's camels and goats, and killing somebody, and
		
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			you killed our guy, I'm gonna kill 2
		
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			of your guys. And they've been going back
		
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			and forth on the killing for a long
		
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			time, before Islam.
		
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			Then Islam happened, the Prophet
		
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			declared revelation
		
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			back in Makkah, this been now it's been
		
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			some time. And Islam was such a big
		
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			problem that they forgot about their fight with
		
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			each other.
		
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			Because they got a bigger problem to deal
		
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			with. What's the bigger problem to deal with?
		
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			Islam.
		
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			Now the treaty is about to be signed.
		
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			And when the treaty is signed for at
		
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			least for a few years, Islam is no
		
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			longer a
		
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			problem. And when Islam is no longer a
		
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			problem,
		
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			they're like, Oh, I remember I hate you.
		
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			So now they get
		
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			they get busy with each other again. Like,
		
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			you know, one of the things that for
		
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			example happened in Afghanistan, and when Afghanistan was
		
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			being invaded by the Russians, the Afghanis were
		
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			a united front fighting against the Russians. Then
		
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			the Russian army got receded,
		
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			and the Russian influence was gone. And the
		
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			Afghanis, all of a sudden, are
		
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			like,
		
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			oh,
		
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			I remember I hate you.
		
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			Okay? And then the infighting started. Right? So
		
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			it it very quickly. Because now there's a
		
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			situation of peace, then you realize and it's
		
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			human psychology at some level too. Right? In
		
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			a family, when there's a family emergency, everybody's
		
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			focused on the emergency. Even though they were
		
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			arguing about something before, when the emergency is
		
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			over,
		
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			go back to hating each other. Go back
		
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			and start the drama again. Right?
		
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			So this is something that is going to
		
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			come up a little bit later on, but
		
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			I'm making you aware that
		
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			the reason I wanted to bring this up
		
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			now is how powerful are the Muslims already,
		
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			that even the neighbor of Mecca
		
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			would rather make affiliation with the Muslims
		
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			than make affiliation with Mecca. This is not
		
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			some far away village, or some far away
		
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			tribe that says, Oh, Mecca is too far
		
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			away from us. We're closer to the Muslims
		
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			geographically rather make alliances here. No, they actually
		
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			and it's pretty gutsy because you're right next
		
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			to Mecca, and you're making
		
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			making ties with the enemy of Makkah. And
		
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			you're not even afraid that Makkah is gonna
		
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			come after you.
		
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			The only reason you wouldn't be afraid of
		
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			that is, you've realized how
		
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			basically,
		
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			paralyzed,
		
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			and how incapacitated
		
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			the Maqans have become.
		
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			That's the only way you could dare to
		
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			do that. Right? So this is already a
		
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			political statement about the weakness of, the Maqans.
		
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			Well, I'm getting ahead of
		
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			treaty,
		
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			he said to his companions, Rasulullah He's done
		
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			writing the treaty. They don't this power thing
		
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			I just told you, this hasn't happened yet.
		
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			So nobody's feeling better. I mean, we just
		
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			heard this and we felt a little bit
		
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			better. But they're not feeling better because they
		
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			don't know any of this yet. They just
		
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			know Abu Jannal had to go back, and
		
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			every item on the treaty went against us.
		
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			Every single one of them went against us.
		
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			And if the Quraysh are still free to
		
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			make whatever alliances,
		
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			God knows what alliances they'll make, and they'll
		
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			create even bigger problems for us. If we
		
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			made an alliance right next to their enemy,
		
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			right,
		
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			with with the, you know, then maybe they'll
		
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			make an alliance right next to us, in
		
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			our backyard. Like, you know, like the like
		
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			the Russians made with Cuba.
		
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			Right? And we had the Cuban missile crisis.
		
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			Right? So it's If you're gonna end up
		
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			in somebody's backyard, that's gonna be a problem.
		
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			Which is by the way why the Americans
		
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			intervened in the massacre, the Muslim genocide that
		
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			was happening in Kosovo,
		
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			if you remember. Right? So the Muslims were
		
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			being
		
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			mass slaughtered in Kosovo, and the United Nations
		
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			was watching and enjoying it. And the Europeans
		
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			were actually, even in their their,
		
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			you know,
		
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			national leaders in different European countries were actually
		
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			saying, This is good for Europe.
		
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			This is good for because they were cleansing
		
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			the Muslims,
		
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			you know, the Muslim,
		
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			contamination from Europe because they wanna keep it
		
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			Christian, or they wanna keep it secular. So
		
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			this was a they were actually okay with
		
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			it.
		
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			Clinton intervened,
		
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			and we went into Kosovo.
		
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			Right? And the the peacekeeping forces were essentially
		
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			American.
		
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			And Kosovo, I went there, you know, I've
		
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			been going there a few years,
		
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			you know, 90 something percent Muslim.
		
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			Right? And it's like they're new Muslims.
		
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			Because they they were living under Russian rule
		
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			for a long time, and they're rediscovering their
		
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			Islam. Right? So it's
		
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			that kind but they love America.
		
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			Like, I've never gone anywhere in the world
		
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			that doesn't make fun of America except Gozol.
		
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			Like, the American Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like,
		
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			I was like, they're listening to American radio
		
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			on the car in the car. They're like,
		
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			they act American, they try to sound American,
		
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			you know.
		
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			If you go to France and you mentioned
		
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			America, they're like, hey hey, like, you know,
		
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			it's
		
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			like different culture.
		
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			But why is that? Because,
		
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			they still have their
		
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			museums,
		
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			and their artifacts, and their history. And it's
		
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			not ancient history. This was in the nineties.
		
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			Right?
		
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			But if you look at it from the
		
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			American strategic perspective,
		
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			now they get to establish the biggest military
		
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			base in all of Europe, right in Kosovo.
		
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			Right in Kosovo. And it's right in the
		
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			backyard of Russia.
		
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			Right?
		
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			So they made
		
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			with an enemy that's close at the right
		
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			in the backyard
		
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			to keep an eye. You understand? So these
		
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			larger military games are played, and we need
		
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			to understand how that was even played in
		
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			the time of the Prophet
		
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			Right? So
		
00:21:15 --> 00:21:15
			the Prophet
		
00:21:16 --> 00:21:18
			Yeah. Again, this is long term thinking. But
		
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			nobody's thinking long term when there's a crisis
		
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			in front of you. So the Sahaba are
		
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			not thinking long term right now. They're just
		
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			thinking there's a crisis in front of them.
		
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			Rasuulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam signs the treaty
		
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			and says,
		
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			He tells the the Sahaba,
		
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			stand up all of you,
		
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			slaughter the animals,
		
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			then shave your heads.
		
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			Now the thing is, you're supposed to slaughter
		
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			the animal once you complete the rituals of
		
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			Hajj.
		
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			The Sahaba have already learned the ayat of
		
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			the Quran that talk about Hajj that have
		
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			been revealed in Surat Al Baqarah.
		
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			They already know the monastic of Hajj.
		
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			They already know what they're supposed to do,
		
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			one place to the other to the other.
		
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			They already know the importance of those rituals
		
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			because they were given by the they're the
		
00:22:02 --> 00:22:03
			answer to the du'a of Ibrahim
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:08
			Show us our rituals, accept our tawba.
		
00:22:09 --> 00:22:11
			And what's the motivation to go to hajj?
		
00:22:11 --> 00:22:13
			That we want our hajj to be accepted
		
00:22:13 --> 00:22:14
			because it's the lifetime
		
00:22:14 --> 00:22:17
			right? It's a lifetime And they know that.
		
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			They know that life it's a once in
		
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			a lifetime
		
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			and they don't get to do it, and
		
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			they brought their animal. It's not like, you
		
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			know, nowadays,
		
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			many people are doing okay, so they can
		
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			spend a few $100 and get themselves a
		
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			goat, or a camel, or a cow, and
		
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			you can even choose on a drop down
		
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			menu what you want. They didn't have drop
		
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			down menus back then on your mobile device
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:37
			to pick which animal you want. And animal
		
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			was like, for a lot of people, it's
		
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			like the most expensive thing they ever got
		
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			in their life.
		
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			And Rasulullah
		
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			is saying, Just slaughter it,
		
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			and then shave your head. Shave your head
		
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			means you completed hajj. It's the last ritual
		
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			of the hajj.
		
00:22:50 --> 00:22:51
			That means, you know,
		
00:22:53 --> 00:22:54
			Right? So,
		
00:22:55 --> 00:22:56
			when he tells them to do this, they're
		
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			in even an additional shock. It was already
		
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			shocking enough, but now it's as if the
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:04
			prophet is telling them, Let's just pretend that
		
00:23:04 --> 00:23:07
			hajj is done, or umrah is done, even
		
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			though it's not done.
		
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			And he says,
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:18
			no response. They're just sitting there. They didn't
		
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			even get up.
		
00:23:20 --> 00:23:21
			So he said it again.
		
00:23:22 --> 00:23:22
			Kumu
		
00:23:23 --> 00:23:23
			falharu
		
00:23:24 --> 00:23:25
			wahluku.
		
00:23:27 --> 00:23:28
			Nothing.
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:31
			He said it a third time,
		
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			Get up,
		
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			slaughter the animal,
		
00:23:41 --> 00:23:42
			shave your heads.
		
00:23:42 --> 00:23:43
			1400
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:45
			sahaba in front of him, I told you
		
00:23:45 --> 00:23:47
			only one was a
		
00:23:47 --> 00:23:48
			Remember?
		
00:23:49 --> 00:23:51
			And he already told you, the Messenger said
		
00:23:51 --> 00:23:53
			about these people, everyone of you will enter
		
00:23:53 --> 00:23:55
			jannah, the one who goes to this valley.
		
00:23:57 --> 00:23:58
			These are the elite of the believers.
		
00:23:59 --> 00:24:01
			These are the most loyal people to the
		
00:24:01 --> 00:24:02
			Messenger of Allah
		
00:24:03 --> 00:24:06
			These are the reason the ummah is 20%
		
00:24:06 --> 00:24:08
			of the world's population today, those people.
		
00:24:09 --> 00:24:10
			The people about whom Allah said,
		
00:24:12 --> 00:24:14
			Allah is pleased with them, they are pleased
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:15
			with Allah.
		
00:24:15 --> 00:24:17
			The people about whom Allah said,
		
00:24:18 --> 00:24:18
			They
		
00:24:19 --> 00:24:20
			say, We hear and we what?
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:23
			We obey. They heard, they heard, they heard.
		
00:24:23 --> 00:24:24
			But did they obey?
		
00:24:24 --> 00:24:26
			No. They just heard.
		
00:24:26 --> 00:24:28
			And they heard again. And they heard again.
		
00:24:29 --> 00:24:32
			And they didn't obey. And just hours before,
		
00:24:33 --> 00:24:35
			one of the leaders, you know, from, you
		
00:24:35 --> 00:24:35
			know,
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:37
			from
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:39
			when when he went back, what did he
		
00:24:39 --> 00:24:42
			say? These people, when he commands them something,
		
00:24:42 --> 00:24:44
			they compete with each other
		
00:24:44 --> 00:24:46
			in obeying his command.
		
00:24:48 --> 00:24:50
			They fight with each other, who's gonna obey
		
00:24:50 --> 00:24:50
			Him first?
		
00:24:51 --> 00:24:52
			Who's going to be the 1st to listen
		
00:24:52 --> 00:24:55
			to Him? This is their attitude originally. And
		
00:24:55 --> 00:24:57
			all of a sudden, Abu Bakr is sitting
		
00:24:57 --> 00:24:59
			there not getting up. Umar is sitting there,
		
00:24:59 --> 00:25:01
			Uthman is sitting there.
		
00:25:01 --> 00:25:04
			There are the elite of the sahabar sitting,
		
00:25:04 --> 00:25:06
			every one of them, every one of the
		
00:25:06 --> 00:25:08
			all stars sahabar sitting there,
		
00:25:08 --> 00:25:10
			and none of them is getting up.
		
00:25:10 --> 00:25:11
			And the Prophet
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:13
			said it three times, This is the most
		
00:25:13 --> 00:25:13
			shocking
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:15
			episode
		
00:25:16 --> 00:25:17
			between the Prophet and his companions
		
00:25:19 --> 00:25:20
			in the entire seerah of the Prophet
		
00:25:21 --> 00:25:22
			This has never happened before.
		
00:25:23 --> 00:25:25
			Never never has this happened before.
		
00:25:25 --> 00:25:27
			In fact, these are the same people when
		
00:25:27 --> 00:25:29
			he saw a dream, he didn't even say
		
00:25:29 --> 00:25:32
			it's Quran. He said he saw a dream
		
00:25:32 --> 00:25:34
			that they're doing hajj, and they knew this
		
00:25:34 --> 00:25:35
			meant death.
		
00:25:36 --> 00:25:38
			They could feel this means death.
		
00:25:38 --> 00:25:39
			Because the
		
00:25:40 --> 00:25:41
			I told you were really happy that they're
		
00:25:41 --> 00:25:43
			going to Mecca because they're gonna get killed.
		
00:25:43 --> 00:25:45
			They got up and they got they went,
		
00:25:45 --> 00:25:47
			No questions asked.
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:49
			And now for the first time, they're not
		
00:25:49 --> 00:25:49
			getting up.
		
00:25:50 --> 00:25:51
			They're sitting where they are.
		
00:25:54 --> 00:25:56
			When not a single one of them got
		
00:25:56 --> 00:25:56
			up,
		
00:25:58 --> 00:25:59
			Rasulullah
		
00:25:59 --> 00:26:00
			went back in his tent,
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:02
			to sallamah.
		
00:26:03 --> 00:26:06
			Now there's the Muslims are devastated,
		
00:26:08 --> 00:26:10
			but the Rasulullah sallam must have been really
		
00:26:10 --> 00:26:11
			devastated right
		
00:26:12 --> 00:26:13
			now. Because
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:16
			all of these years of all of this
		
00:26:16 --> 00:26:18
			struggle that the messenger has done for the
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:20
			sake of Allah, right,
		
00:26:21 --> 00:26:23
			The only thing that Allah has given him
		
00:26:23 --> 00:26:25
			that gives him the comfort of his heart
		
00:26:26 --> 00:26:28
			is that Allah has given him his sahaba.
		
00:26:29 --> 00:26:31
			That's what Allah has given his messenger
		
00:26:31 --> 00:26:33
			Allah didn't give him castles. Allah didn't give
		
00:26:33 --> 00:26:36
			him monuments, and buildings, and cities, and Allah
		
00:26:36 --> 00:26:38
			didn't give him any of that. But Allah
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:39
			gave him a sahaba.
		
00:26:40 --> 00:26:40
			Right?
		
00:26:41 --> 00:26:42
			He used to say, Allah Allah
		
00:26:44 --> 00:26:46
			Watch out for Allah. Watch out for Allah
		
00:26:46 --> 00:26:47
			when it comes to my companions.
		
00:26:50 --> 00:26:52
			Whoever hates them, it's because they hate me,
		
00:26:52 --> 00:26:53
			they hate them.
		
00:26:55 --> 00:26:57
			And whoever loves them, it's because they love
		
00:26:57 --> 00:26:58
			me that they love them.
		
00:26:58 --> 00:27:01
			These are the great treasure of the Prophet
		
00:27:03 --> 00:27:04
			And for the first time,
		
00:27:04 --> 00:27:07
			he felt like he's losing them.
		
00:27:07 --> 00:27:09
			For the first time,
		
00:27:09 --> 00:27:11
			he feels like something is off.
		
00:27:12 --> 00:27:13
			And again, this is there's not a there's
		
00:27:13 --> 00:27:15
			there's not an ounce
		
00:27:15 --> 00:27:18
			of nifaq, there's no hypocrite in the crowd.
		
00:27:18 --> 00:27:20
			They're all back in Madinah happy that they
		
00:27:20 --> 00:27:21
			never left.
		
00:27:22 --> 00:27:25
			There so these are the believing believing believers.
		
00:27:25 --> 00:27:26
			These are
		
00:27:27 --> 00:27:28
			you know. These are I would even call
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:29
			these
		
00:27:32 --> 00:27:33
			like in Surat,
		
00:27:34 --> 00:27:36
			Surat At Tawba. The first and the foremost,
		
00:27:36 --> 00:27:38
			the elite believers of the Mujahideen and the
		
00:27:38 --> 00:27:40
			Ansar. Both of them are in front of
		
00:27:40 --> 00:27:40
			him.
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:42
			He goes to
		
00:27:45 --> 00:27:47
			He mentioned to her what happened with the
		
00:27:47 --> 00:27:47
			people.
		
00:27:48 --> 00:27:50
			What does this tell you? He's the general
		
00:27:50 --> 00:27:51
			of the military. He's not just the messenger
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:54
			of Allah, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. He's the general
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:54
			of
		
00:27:55 --> 00:27:56
			the Ummah's military.
		
00:27:57 --> 00:27:58
			And his closest
		
00:27:58 --> 00:28:00
			second in command, if you would argue, are
		
00:28:00 --> 00:28:02
			people like Abu Bakr al Siddiq and Umar
		
00:28:03 --> 00:28:05
			He could you could've imagined he said to
		
00:28:05 --> 00:28:06
			one of them, Come. I need to speak
		
00:28:06 --> 00:28:07
			to you separately.
		
00:28:08 --> 00:28:09
			Let me have a word with you. Let
		
00:28:09 --> 00:28:10
			me get your counsel.
		
00:28:11 --> 00:28:13
			You notice earlier on in this trip, when
		
00:28:13 --> 00:28:14
			he was about to see, should we go
		
00:28:14 --> 00:28:15
			to war or should we just go for
		
00:28:15 --> 00:28:16
			Hajj?
		
00:28:17 --> 00:28:19
			Abu Bakr as Siddiq spoke up, and helped
		
00:28:19 --> 00:28:20
			him out
		
00:28:20 --> 00:28:22
			to to stir the crowd in the right
		
00:28:22 --> 00:28:22
			direction.
		
00:28:23 --> 00:28:25
			But right now, he doesn't even have them.
		
00:28:26 --> 00:28:27
			And who does he go to?
		
00:28:28 --> 00:28:29
			He goes to his wife.
		
00:28:29 --> 00:28:31
			He goes to his wife.
		
00:28:31 --> 00:28:33
			This is not just some romanticized,
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:35
			aggrandized
		
00:28:36 --> 00:28:38
			picture of what marriage is supposed to be.
		
00:28:39 --> 00:28:41
			It's actually one of the great spirits of
		
00:28:41 --> 00:28:42
			marriage itself.
		
00:28:43 --> 00:28:45
			The objective of marriage
		
00:28:45 --> 00:28:47
			is to have someone in your life that
		
00:28:47 --> 00:28:48
			when you can talk to no one else,
		
00:28:48 --> 00:28:50
			that's the person you can talk to.
		
00:28:51 --> 00:28:53
			That's the objective that's actually the Sunnah
		
00:28:53 --> 00:28:54
			of the Prophet SAWYSIWALLAH
		
00:28:55 --> 00:28:57
			SAWYSIWALLAH Now that's very easy to say
		
00:28:58 --> 00:29:00
			It's extremely easy to say.
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:02
			I met a young man recently,
		
00:29:02 --> 00:29:03
			very young, but he's
		
00:29:05 --> 00:29:07
			doing well in school, has a full time
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:09
			job, he can take care of himself as
		
00:29:09 --> 00:29:10
			young men should.
		
00:29:11 --> 00:29:13
			And he's, you know, not even 20 yet.
		
00:29:13 --> 00:29:14
			He got married.
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:16
			Right? I'm proud of him because you know
		
00:29:16 --> 00:29:18
			what? If you're gonna man up early, then
		
00:29:18 --> 00:29:19
			good for you. Right?
		
00:29:20 --> 00:29:22
			And so he's, you know, you know, liked
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:24
			some girl, proposed to the family. Alhamdulillah. They
		
00:29:24 --> 00:29:25
			got married. Okay.
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:27
			Khalas. Meet him a few months later.
		
00:29:28 --> 00:29:28
			He goes,
		
00:29:29 --> 00:29:31
			I was like, how's married life? He goes,
		
00:29:32 --> 00:29:33
			different
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:35
			and that
		
00:29:36 --> 00:29:38
			that breath in the beginning told me everything
		
00:29:38 --> 00:29:40
			I was like I know better it's okay
		
00:29:42 --> 00:29:44
			He had this picture in his head of
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:45
			how things are gonna be. It's not how
		
00:29:45 --> 00:29:47
			things are gonna be. And a lot of
		
00:29:47 --> 00:29:49
			times young people are looking at other married
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51
			couples that are always fighting or arguing or
		
00:29:51 --> 00:29:53
			stressed out. They're like, all these stupid people
		
00:29:53 --> 00:29:55
			don't even know how to be in a
		
00:29:55 --> 00:29:57
			relationship. When I get married, it's gonna be
		
00:29:57 --> 00:29:59
			so different. Oh my God. These people I'm
		
00:29:59 --> 00:30:01
			gonna teach these people
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:03
			what couples are all about.
		
00:30:04 --> 00:30:06
			They don't even know.
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:08
			I got my education from Instagram.
		
00:30:10 --> 00:30:12
			They're not ready. The world's not ready for
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:13
			this filter.
		
00:30:15 --> 00:30:17
			Problem is you cannot build that kind of
		
00:30:17 --> 00:30:19
			trust and that kind of relationship
		
00:30:19 --> 00:30:21
			and that kind of vulnerability.
		
00:30:22 --> 00:30:23
			That you can talk to someone about the
		
00:30:23 --> 00:30:26
			biggest problem you have, and there's not a
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:27
			1% not 0.001%
		
00:30:28 --> 00:30:30
			chance in your mind that the person you're
		
00:30:30 --> 00:30:31
			talking to, your wife or your husband, is
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:32
			gonna say,
		
00:30:32 --> 00:30:35
			are you surprised? Look at your behavior.
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:37
			Didn't I tell you you shouldn't do this?
		
00:30:38 --> 00:30:39
			Like they're gonna throw it back in your
		
00:30:39 --> 00:30:39
			face.
		
00:30:40 --> 00:30:42
			Because if you need somebody to throw it
		
00:30:42 --> 00:30:43
			back in your face,
		
00:30:43 --> 00:30:45
			then you have to decide, do you wanna
		
00:30:45 --> 00:30:47
			be insulted by the closest person next to
		
00:30:47 --> 00:30:50
			you? Or would you rather stay quiet? And
		
00:30:50 --> 00:30:51
			most people that have an ounce of intelligence,
		
00:30:51 --> 00:30:53
			what will they choose in that scenario?
		
00:30:54 --> 00:30:56
			They'll choose to be quiet. And every time
		
00:30:56 --> 00:30:58
			you choose to be quiet, you become 1
		
00:30:58 --> 00:31:00
			inch further from your spouse. And then the
		
00:31:00 --> 00:31:03
			next time you're quiet, another inch further, another
		
00:31:03 --> 00:31:05
			inch further. And within a year, you're miles
		
00:31:05 --> 00:31:07
			apart from your spouse. You're sitting right next
		
00:31:07 --> 00:31:09
			to them, and you're having conversations with yourself
		
00:31:09 --> 00:31:10
			in silence.
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:12
			And then they're asking you what's on your
		
00:31:12 --> 00:31:13
			mind, and you say nothing.
		
00:31:14 --> 00:31:16
			I was just thinking what should I watch
		
00:31:16 --> 00:31:17
			on Netflix?
		
00:31:18 --> 00:31:19
			I was just thinking I should take a
		
00:31:19 --> 00:31:21
			nap. That's not what you're thinking. You're lying
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:23
			through your teeth because, you know, this is
		
00:31:23 --> 00:31:24
			not the person you can talk to.
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:27
			This this is not the person.
		
00:31:27 --> 00:31:29
			Because you've already tried talking to them before,
		
00:31:29 --> 00:31:31
			and when you talk to them, the conversation
		
00:31:32 --> 00:31:34
			is one you what teaches you. That conversation
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:36
			teaches you this is not the person to
		
00:31:36 --> 00:31:38
			talk to. You got educated by experience.
		
00:31:40 --> 00:31:41
			And that's what marriage has become for most
		
00:31:41 --> 00:31:42
			people.
		
00:31:42 --> 00:31:44
			It's actually pretty tragic.
		
00:31:44 --> 00:31:47
			It's just a emotional hostage situation.
		
00:31:48 --> 00:31:49
			That's what it's become.
		
00:31:49 --> 00:31:52
			Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wa sallam in this remarkable
		
00:31:52 --> 00:31:54
			narration has no one to talk to,
		
00:31:56 --> 00:31:57
			and he can speak to her.
		
00:31:58 --> 00:32:00
			What that teaches you is these women understood
		
00:32:01 --> 00:32:01
			something.
		
00:32:02 --> 00:32:04
			And the prophet taught them something, and they
		
00:32:04 --> 00:32:06
			learned something. And they the marriage is a
		
00:32:06 --> 00:32:09
			partnership also. They understood that this is actually
		
00:32:09 --> 00:32:11
			what marriage is about.
		
00:32:11 --> 00:32:12
			You see,
		
00:32:12 --> 00:32:14
			I have a relationship with my parents, and
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:15
			all of you do.
		
00:32:16 --> 00:32:17
			Those of you who are who are blessed
		
00:32:17 --> 00:32:19
			to have your parents that are alive. Nobody
		
00:32:19 --> 00:32:20
			has an easy relationship with their parents. Let
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:21
			me just be honest.
		
00:32:22 --> 00:32:25
			Okay? Nobody got an easy one. You could
		
00:32:25 --> 00:32:26
			tell her, I love my mom. I Yeah.
		
00:32:26 --> 00:32:28
			You you've had arguments with your mom. Shut
		
00:32:30 --> 00:32:31
			up. You've had you've had drama with your
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:34
			dad. You've had arguments with your mom. Everybody
		
00:32:34 --> 00:32:36
			has some drama with their parents.
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:38
			But you know what? As bad as it
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:40
			gets with our parents, we didn't choose them
		
00:32:40 --> 00:32:41
			and they didn't choose us.
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:44
			Allah made that choice.
		
00:32:45 --> 00:32:46
			Allah made that choice.
		
00:32:46 --> 00:32:47
			And so,
		
00:32:48 --> 00:32:51
			whatever drama is happening, whatever complications there are
		
00:32:51 --> 00:32:53
			with your parents, you've got to figure out
		
00:32:53 --> 00:32:54
			a way to live up to
		
00:32:55 --> 00:32:57
			You gotta do it.
		
00:32:57 --> 00:32:59
			That's what Allah chose for you.
		
00:32:59 --> 00:33:01
			Somebody got to be born,
		
00:33:01 --> 00:33:03
			of Firaun. Somebody got to be born of
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:04
			Abu Lahab.
		
00:33:05 --> 00:33:06
			So tough.
		
00:33:09 --> 00:33:10
			You gotta make the most of
		
00:33:10 --> 00:33:12
			it. Figure out how to make that work,
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:14
			but you gotta make it work. Why? Because
		
00:33:14 --> 00:33:17
			these are relationships that were not created by
		
00:33:17 --> 00:33:19
			human beings. The bond between those two souls
		
00:33:19 --> 00:33:21
			was created by Allah
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:24
			But the bond between a husband and a
		
00:33:24 --> 00:33:24
			wife
		
00:33:25 --> 00:33:26
			was not
		
00:33:27 --> 00:33:29
			something that wasn't your choice.
		
00:33:30 --> 00:33:32
			That was you chose a spouse.
		
00:33:33 --> 00:33:34
			You chose a person.
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:36
			You brought them close into your life.
		
00:33:38 --> 00:33:40
			Right? And when you make that choice,
		
00:33:41 --> 00:33:44
			then every time there is a problem, you're
		
00:33:44 --> 00:33:45
			like, I made the wrong choice.
		
00:33:46 --> 00:33:47
			Why did I make this choice?
		
00:33:48 --> 00:33:50
			I should've made a better choice.
		
00:33:50 --> 00:33:51
			Do I still have a choice?
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:53
			So many choices.
		
00:33:55 --> 00:33:57
			And your mind will will not stop running.
		
00:33:58 --> 00:34:00
			Where why does the mind go in that
		
00:34:00 --> 00:34:01
			direction? Because the foundation
		
00:34:02 --> 00:34:03
			of a relationship
		
00:34:04 --> 00:34:05
			is false.
		
00:34:06 --> 00:34:08
			The foundation of a relationship is not anything
		
00:34:10 --> 00:34:10
			on the outside.
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:13
			The foundation of a relationship is do you
		
00:34:13 --> 00:34:16
			find peace and tranquility in that person?
		
00:34:17 --> 00:34:18
			And if you'd and if you don't know
		
00:34:18 --> 00:34:20
			that yet, then you have to figure out
		
00:34:20 --> 00:34:22
			how to build that inside of a person.
		
00:34:23 --> 00:34:25
			Because beauty will wither away,
		
00:34:26 --> 00:34:28
			friendship will wither away, responsibilities will come and
		
00:34:28 --> 00:34:30
			you can't goof around anymore.
		
00:34:30 --> 00:34:32
			Some people say I used to really like
		
00:34:32 --> 00:34:33
			you before I married you.
		
00:34:35 --> 00:34:36
			They say that
		
00:34:36 --> 00:34:37
			I don't know what happened after we got
		
00:34:37 --> 00:34:39
			married. Well, when when you didn't marry someone,
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:41
			they didn't owe you anything.
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:44
			They didn't owe you anything. So you only
		
00:34:44 --> 00:34:46
			spoke to them to find
		
00:34:46 --> 00:34:48
			relief. To talk to them that made you
		
00:34:48 --> 00:34:49
			feel happy.
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:52
			But you didn't have to worry about the
		
00:34:52 --> 00:34:54
			bills or the dishes or something your mother
		
00:34:54 --> 00:34:56
			said or something this one said or that
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:59
			one. Yeah. None none of that. In fact,
		
00:34:59 --> 00:35:01
			when somebody if you if you're talking to
		
00:35:01 --> 00:35:01
			your fiance
		
00:35:02 --> 00:35:03
			in a halal way,
		
00:35:04 --> 00:35:06
			and their mom came in, and like, okay,
		
00:35:06 --> 00:35:08
			I'll call you later. I gotta go. Okay.
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:09
			No problem.
		
00:35:09 --> 00:35:11
			But once you get married, what did your
		
00:35:11 --> 00:35:11
			mom say?
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:15
			Was she talking about me? She looked at
		
00:35:15 --> 00:35:16
			me like that. Why did she look at
		
00:35:16 --> 00:35:17
			me like that?
		
00:35:18 --> 00:35:20
			Why didn't they call me first? Why are
		
00:35:20 --> 00:35:21
			they always coming over? Why does this hap
		
00:35:22 --> 00:35:23
			all of a sudden
		
00:35:24 --> 00:35:26
			all of a sudden, you create this you
		
00:35:26 --> 00:35:27
			know, before you and a lot of you,
		
00:35:28 --> 00:35:29
			I don't I'm not gonna call you guys
		
00:35:29 --> 00:35:31
			out. You're you're talking to the girl you
		
00:35:31 --> 00:35:32
			want to marry.
		
00:35:32 --> 00:35:35
			You're to you call it halal or whatever.
		
00:35:35 --> 00:35:36
			You call it you're talking to her for
		
00:35:36 --> 00:35:37
			hours, and you feel so this is the
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:38
			one for me.
		
00:35:39 --> 00:35:39
			Okay.
		
00:35:40 --> 00:35:41
			You know why this is the one for
		
00:35:41 --> 00:35:43
			you? Because it's just you and her, and
		
00:35:43 --> 00:35:44
			nobody else.
		
00:35:45 --> 00:35:47
			That relationship is nobody else. The moment you
		
00:35:47 --> 00:35:49
			get married, you know what our mistake is
		
00:35:49 --> 00:35:50
			big time? You know what we do when
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:52
			we get when we get our young people
		
00:35:52 --> 00:35:53
			married? Who gets in the way?
		
00:35:55 --> 00:35:56
			Everyone else.
		
00:35:56 --> 00:35:58
			Now the relationship isn't even about him and
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:00
			her. You know the relationship is about? His
		
00:36:00 --> 00:36:03
			mother, her mother, his father, her father, brother,
		
00:36:03 --> 00:36:05
			sister, cousin, this, that, the other. Why Why
		
00:36:05 --> 00:36:06
			did you give them any gift? You didn't
		
00:36:06 --> 00:36:07
			give my cousin any gift. You you went
		
00:36:07 --> 00:36:08
			to their house. You didn't go to this
		
00:36:08 --> 00:36:11
			house. You did this Everyone else except them.
		
00:36:12 --> 00:36:14
			And they're like, Man, it was much nicer
		
00:36:14 --> 00:36:15
			when we weren't married.
		
00:36:17 --> 00:36:19
			And you know why? Because when you weren't
		
00:36:19 --> 00:36:21
			married, in the western sense, then it was
		
00:36:21 --> 00:36:23
			all about you too.
		
00:36:23 --> 00:36:25
			And when you got married, you made it
		
00:36:25 --> 00:36:26
			about everybody else.
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:28
			That's actually what happens.
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:30
			And what what does this deen teach us?
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:32
			Marriage is fundamentally about who?
		
00:36:34 --> 00:36:36
			The husband and the wife. We've created this
		
00:36:36 --> 00:36:37
			cultural monster.
		
00:36:38 --> 00:36:39
			We've taken sakinah.
		
00:36:39 --> 00:36:42
			We've designed marriage in a way now in
		
00:36:42 --> 00:36:42
			Muslim communities.
		
00:36:44 --> 00:36:46
			And across the world, we've designed marriage in
		
00:36:46 --> 00:36:48
			a way that is meant to be miserable.
		
00:36:50 --> 00:36:51
			It's designed to be miserable
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:55
			because we want everybody's intervention. And we've even
		
00:36:55 --> 00:36:58
			programmed young people that are getting married. They're
		
00:36:58 --> 00:37:00
			going in with the with the mindset that
		
00:37:00 --> 00:37:02
			they're about to go into a competition.
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:04
			They're going to look at everything and say,
		
00:37:04 --> 00:37:06
			what did you do for your parents and
		
00:37:06 --> 00:37:07
			did you do that for my parents? What
		
00:37:07 --> 00:37:09
			did you do for your brother or your
		
00:37:09 --> 00:37:10
			sister? Did you do that for my brother
		
00:37:10 --> 00:37:11
			or my sister? Why did you give them
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:13
			this? Why didn't you give them that? Why
		
00:37:13 --> 00:37:14
			did you say this? Why didn't you say
		
00:37:14 --> 00:37:15
			that? Why did you call this one? Why
		
00:37:15 --> 00:37:17
			didn't you call this one? Did you say
		
00:37:17 --> 00:37:19
			to them? Did you not say to them?
		
00:37:19 --> 00:37:20
			Did you Oh my god.
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:24
			And you just create a set of expectations
		
00:37:25 --> 00:37:27
			because you're keeping score
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:28
			one side or the other.
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:30
			This is not a place you will find
		
00:37:30 --> 00:37:32
			peace. This is only this is only a
		
00:37:32 --> 00:37:33
			place you will find scorecards.
		
00:37:35 --> 00:37:36
			That's all you'll find. And you know how
		
00:37:36 --> 00:37:37
			those two tribes that are at war with
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:39
			each other, They remember you killed that one,
		
00:37:39 --> 00:37:41
			and you killed that one. Now these two
		
00:37:41 --> 00:37:43
			people that are married to each other are
		
00:37:44 --> 00:37:46
			like Banu Bakr and Khuzah keeping score.
		
00:37:47 --> 00:37:49
			You remember last Eid, you said this, this,
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:51
			this, to this, this, this, and you didn't
		
00:37:51 --> 00:37:52
			even blah blah blah?
		
00:37:54 --> 00:37:56
			And many of the kids here growing up,
		
00:37:56 --> 00:37:58
			this is all the nonsense they hear their
		
00:37:58 --> 00:37:59
			family argue about all day.
		
00:38:00 --> 00:38:01
			That's what they hear.
		
00:38:03 --> 00:38:05
			In this simple hadith, the prophet goes inside,
		
00:38:05 --> 00:38:06
			and he's speaking to
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:10
			and he says, this is what they did.
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:12
			This is not a when he is in
		
00:38:12 --> 00:38:14
			a position of vulnerability, he is in a
		
00:38:14 --> 00:38:15
			position of weakness,
		
00:38:16 --> 00:38:18
			he is in a position of, you know,
		
00:38:18 --> 00:38:19
			nervousness,
		
00:38:19 --> 00:38:20
			anxiety,
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:21
			depression even.
		
00:38:22 --> 00:38:24
			This is not the time to prove yourself
		
00:38:24 --> 00:38:26
			right. This is not the time to say,
		
00:38:26 --> 00:38:27
			I told you so. This is not the
		
00:38:27 --> 00:38:28
			time to act.
		
00:38:29 --> 00:38:30
			Now that you put his guard down, is
		
00:38:30 --> 00:38:31
			it a good time to throw in a
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:32
			hook?
		
00:38:33 --> 00:38:34
			This is not the time.
		
00:38:35 --> 00:38:35
			She says,
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:39
			Prophet of Allah.
		
00:38:39 --> 00:38:42
			So she she doesn't even call she doesn't
		
00:38:42 --> 00:38:44
			call him by his name, and she didn't
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:46
			even have to say, yeah, anything. She could've
		
00:38:46 --> 00:38:48
			just spoken, but she calls him prophet of
		
00:38:48 --> 00:38:51
			Allah, as if to say, don't forget you're
		
00:38:51 --> 00:38:51
			Allah's prophet.
		
00:38:52 --> 00:38:54
			Whether they listen to you or not, they
		
00:38:54 --> 00:38:56
			believe you're Allah's prophet, and I believe you're
		
00:38:56 --> 00:38:56
			Allah's prophet.
		
00:38:57 --> 00:38:59
			So don't be shaken about their con your
		
00:38:59 --> 00:38:59
			confidence in them.
		
00:39:01 --> 00:39:02
			Would you want them to listen to you?
		
00:39:02 --> 00:39:03
			Would you like that?
		
00:39:05 --> 00:39:05
			So she said,
		
00:39:06 --> 00:39:07
			go out.
		
00:39:09 --> 00:39:11
			She said, don't speak to anyone of
		
00:39:12 --> 00:39:13
			them. Do not speak. Sometimes
		
00:39:14 --> 00:39:16
			silence speaks more than words.
		
00:39:16 --> 00:39:18
			You spoken to them 3 times. Anymore,
		
00:39:19 --> 00:39:21
			and you know, being a student of psychology,
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:23
			I look at this from a psychological perspective.
		
00:39:24 --> 00:39:25
			When you give instruction,
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:28
			especially some of you have to deal with
		
00:39:28 --> 00:39:28
			teenagers.
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:34
			Yeah? When you tell your teenager,
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:36
			you know, Kareem,
		
00:39:36 --> 00:39:37
			come here. Kareem.
		
00:39:38 --> 00:39:38
			Kareem.
		
00:39:39 --> 00:39:39
			Kareem.
		
00:39:40 --> 00:39:41
			And he just walks out the door.
		
00:39:43 --> 00:39:44
			And you kept Kareem ing and he didn't
		
00:39:44 --> 00:39:45
			Kareem.
		
00:39:45 --> 00:39:46
			He wasn't Kareem with you.
		
00:39:47 --> 00:39:49
			But he walks out the door. Right? And
		
00:39:49 --> 00:39:51
			when he comes home, Kareem, you didn't let
		
00:39:51 --> 00:39:54
			Well, the first twelve times you said it
		
00:39:54 --> 00:39:55
			when you walked out the door, that didn't
		
00:39:55 --> 00:39:57
			work. Why do you think it's gonna work
		
00:39:57 --> 00:39:57
			now?
		
00:39:58 --> 00:39:59
			But you know what? In that moment, what
		
00:39:59 --> 00:40:00
			might work?
		
00:40:01 --> 00:40:02
			Silence.
		
00:40:03 --> 00:40:04
			He walks in, no acknowledgement.
		
00:40:06 --> 00:40:07
			He says, Assalamu alaikum,
		
00:40:08 --> 00:40:09
			look away.
		
00:40:10 --> 00:40:13
			Low tone. Sometimes the lower volume is the
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:14
			scarier volume.
		
00:40:15 --> 00:40:16
			Right?
		
00:40:17 --> 00:40:19
			Usually you say, Are you hungry?
		
00:40:19 --> 00:40:21
			Did you eat? Where were you? No questions.
		
00:40:23 --> 00:40:24
			And he's standing next to you in the
		
00:40:24 --> 00:40:26
			kitchen, and he's like,
		
00:40:27 --> 00:40:28
			is there is there food?
		
00:40:29 --> 00:40:31
			And you ignore the question.
		
00:40:32 --> 00:40:33
			You just ignore the quest and you you
		
00:40:33 --> 00:40:36
			start talking to Zainab instead. Zainab, come here.
		
00:40:37 --> 00:40:39
			And all of a sudden, Karim's like,
		
00:40:40 --> 00:40:42
			I I I wanna say something.
		
00:40:45 --> 00:40:46
			You don't have to say anything.
		
00:40:48 --> 00:40:50
			I'm really sorry. I just I got really
		
00:40:50 --> 00:40:52
			mad at I'm not gonna do that again.
		
00:40:53 --> 00:40:55
			At this point, I don't think you should
		
00:40:55 --> 00:40:56
			still speak.
		
00:40:56 --> 00:40:58
			Don't start good evening yet.
		
00:40:59 --> 00:41:01
			Just give him a look.
		
00:41:03 --> 00:41:04
			That's it. Just a look.
		
00:41:06 --> 00:41:07
			Try it.
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:09
			They'll start melting on the inside.
		
00:41:10 --> 00:41:12
			Their organs are gonna start infusing into each
		
00:41:12 --> 00:41:12
			other.
		
00:41:14 --> 00:41:14
			It's phenomenal.
		
00:41:16 --> 00:41:17
			I do it all the time.
		
00:41:19 --> 00:41:21
			You can do this with employees too, or
		
00:41:21 --> 00:41:23
			students, and if you're a teacher.
		
00:41:24 --> 00:41:25
			The tactic works.
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:28
			But I do it. Sometimes silence is way
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:28
			more powerful.
		
00:41:30 --> 00:41:32
			Rasulullah goes outside, doesn't say a word to
		
00:41:32 --> 00:41:33
			anybody.
		
00:41:39 --> 00:41:41
			She says go outside, don't speak to anybody,
		
00:41:42 --> 00:41:45
			until you slaughter your own animal, as if
		
00:41:45 --> 00:41:46
			they're not even there.
		
00:41:47 --> 00:41:48
			And then
		
00:41:48 --> 00:41:50
			call your barber, your cut the hair the
		
00:41:50 --> 00:41:51
			cut the hair,
		
00:41:52 --> 00:41:53
			and get him to shave you.
		
00:41:56 --> 00:41:58
			And he so he so he did this.
		
00:42:03 --> 00:42:05
			So he left. He didn't speak to anybody.
		
00:42:06 --> 00:42:08
			So he did all of that.
		
00:42:10 --> 00:42:12
			So he called his you know, the shaver,
		
00:42:12 --> 00:42:13
			and he shaved him.
		
00:42:16 --> 00:42:17
			When they saw that,
		
00:42:17 --> 00:42:18
			they all stood up.
		
00:42:21 --> 00:42:22
			Then they slaughtered their animals.
		
00:42:25 --> 00:42:27
			And they started shaving each other's heads.
		
00:42:29 --> 00:42:30
			Not a word was said.
		
00:42:31 --> 00:42:33
			Then some added in the narration,
		
00:42:37 --> 00:42:39
			But they were so frustrated, so while they
		
00:42:39 --> 00:42:41
			were shaving their head, some of them got
		
00:42:41 --> 00:42:42
			so mad at each other, they were almost
		
00:42:42 --> 00:42:43
			ready to kill each other.
		
00:42:45 --> 00:42:46
			You know when you're frustrated, like if your
		
00:42:46 --> 00:42:48
			if your team
		
00:42:48 --> 00:42:50
			lost a winning game,
		
00:42:50 --> 00:42:52
			and you're mad at each other, yo, don't
		
00:42:52 --> 00:42:52
			touch me.
		
00:42:54 --> 00:42:55
			Move over.
		
00:42:56 --> 00:42:57
			That's my bottle, etcetera.
		
00:42:57 --> 00:42:59
			They're mad at each other.
		
00:42:59 --> 00:43:01
			There's a rage in among them. But they
		
00:43:01 --> 00:43:03
			still shaved their heads, and they slaughtered the
		
00:43:03 --> 00:43:05
			animal, shaved the head. Meaning, they obeyed the
		
00:43:05 --> 00:43:05
			Prophet
		
00:43:07 --> 00:43:08
			And Rasulullah
		
00:43:09 --> 00:43:11
			Then, as this happened, Rasul, salallahu alaihi wasallam
		
00:43:11 --> 00:43:13
			made a du'a. They heard the prophet salallahu
		
00:43:13 --> 00:43:15
			alaihi wasallam make a du'a. Now some of
		
00:43:15 --> 00:43:17
			them shaved their heads, and some of them
		
00:43:17 --> 00:43:18
			didn't want to shave their heads, so they
		
00:43:18 --> 00:43:19
			just
		
00:43:20 --> 00:43:22
			cut their hair a little bit. Okay? So
		
00:43:22 --> 00:43:24
			the ones who shaved their head are muhalliqeen,
		
00:43:25 --> 00:43:26
			and the ones who cut their hair are
		
00:43:26 --> 00:43:27
			mukasirin.
		
00:43:28 --> 00:43:30
			Mukasirin and mukasirin.
		
00:43:36 --> 00:43:36
			Rasulullah
		
00:43:37 --> 00:43:40
			said, May Allah show rahma to the people
		
00:43:40 --> 00:43:41
			who shave their head.
		
00:43:45 --> 00:43:47
			They said, and the people who cut their
		
00:43:47 --> 00:43:48
			hair too,
		
00:43:49 --> 00:43:50
			the Surah Islam says,
		
00:43:53 --> 00:43:55
			May Allah show rahma to those who shave
		
00:43:55 --> 00:43:56
			their head.
		
00:44:08 --> 00:44:09
			Also
		
00:44:12 --> 00:44:12
			the
		
00:44:19 --> 00:44:21
			So the 4th time he said sometimes some
		
00:44:21 --> 00:44:23
			say he said it 3 times, sometimes he
		
00:44:23 --> 00:44:25
			says he said it 4 times. He said,
		
00:44:25 --> 00:44:26
			why did you delay it? Some people asked
		
00:44:26 --> 00:44:27
			him.
		
00:44:27 --> 00:44:29
			He said, because the ones who shave didn't
		
00:44:29 --> 00:44:30
			complain,
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:33
			and the ones who cut actually complained. The
		
00:44:33 --> 00:44:35
			complaints came out of their mouth before.
		
00:44:36 --> 00:44:38
			So they didn't show absolute obedience.
		
00:44:39 --> 00:44:39
			Right?
		
00:44:39 --> 00:44:40
			Now,
		
00:44:43 --> 00:44:45
			so the now they're journeying back. The animal
		
00:44:45 --> 00:44:47
			has been slaughtered, by the way, one side
		
00:44:47 --> 00:44:49
			story you should know. Interesting story.
		
00:44:49 --> 00:44:52
			The animals that are slaughtered are sent
		
00:44:52 --> 00:44:53
			to
		
00:44:53 --> 00:44:55
			So they didn't let us do hajj, but
		
00:44:55 --> 00:44:56
			they're gonna enjoy our 8 meat.
		
00:44:58 --> 00:45:00
			The Quraysh are gonna have the meat.
		
00:45:01 --> 00:45:03
			And one of the animals they did have
		
00:45:03 --> 00:45:06
			was the camel of Abu Jahl that they
		
00:45:06 --> 00:45:09
			captured in Badr. Okay? So they said, You
		
00:45:09 --> 00:45:10
			know what?
		
00:45:10 --> 00:45:12
			They want the meat. Right?
		
00:45:12 --> 00:45:15
			We're gonna slaughter Abu Jahl's camel. Because there
		
00:45:15 --> 00:45:16
			was a famous camel that was known. It
		
00:45:16 --> 00:45:19
			was recognized. Right? It's like capturing the, you
		
00:45:19 --> 00:45:20
			know, the president's
		
00:45:20 --> 00:45:22
			motorcade or something. But,
		
00:45:22 --> 00:45:24
			so they and Abuja is long dead, but
		
00:45:24 --> 00:45:25
			they remember the camel.
		
00:45:26 --> 00:45:29
			So they slaughtered that camel, they decapitated it,
		
00:45:29 --> 00:45:31
			they put the head on a platter, and
		
00:45:31 --> 00:45:33
			they sent that first. Just as a passive
		
00:45:33 --> 00:45:33
			aggressive,
		
00:45:35 --> 00:45:35
			move.
		
00:45:36 --> 00:45:39
			But they sent the meat. Now they're traveling
		
00:45:39 --> 00:45:39
			back.
		
00:45:40 --> 00:45:42
			They're traveling back and nobody is okay with
		
00:45:42 --> 00:45:44
			this. Everybody is upset.
		
00:45:48 --> 00:45:50
			And so he's traveling with some of the
		
00:45:50 --> 00:45:51
			groups, and
		
00:45:52 --> 00:45:54
			is journeying with him in the night time.
		
00:45:57 --> 00:46:00
			So some narrations tell us, Umar bin Khattab
		
00:46:00 --> 00:46:01
			sped up his horse, came up to the
		
00:46:01 --> 00:46:02
			Prophet
		
00:46:02 --> 00:46:04
			and tried to ask him something.
		
00:46:07 --> 00:46:08
			The prophet didn't respond to him.
		
00:46:11 --> 00:46:12
			Then he came up to him again and
		
00:46:12 --> 00:46:13
			asked him again.
		
00:46:15 --> 00:46:17
			He he didn't respond to him.
		
00:46:19 --> 00:46:20
			Then he asked him a third time.
		
00:46:22 --> 00:46:24
			He didn't respond to him.
		
00:46:25 --> 00:46:26
			Part of that is,
		
00:46:27 --> 00:46:27
			the Rasulullah
		
00:46:28 --> 00:46:29
			said, stand up,
		
00:46:29 --> 00:46:30
			shave your head,
		
00:46:31 --> 00:46:32
			slaughter
		
00:46:32 --> 00:46:34
			the animal, shave your head. How many times
		
00:46:34 --> 00:46:35
			did he say it?
		
00:46:36 --> 00:46:37
			And what did they respond with?
		
00:46:38 --> 00:46:39
			Silence.
		
00:46:39 --> 00:46:42
			Umr bin Khattab spoke out before,
		
00:46:42 --> 00:46:44
			and that time he responded with silence.
		
00:46:45 --> 00:46:46
			Now he's coming up to the prophet
		
00:46:46 --> 00:46:48
			3 times, trying to speak to him, and
		
00:46:48 --> 00:46:49
			the prophet is responding with what?
		
00:46:50 --> 00:46:52
			Silence. This is not just revenge.
		
00:46:53 --> 00:46:55
			But sometimes the teacher, and in this case,
		
00:46:55 --> 00:46:56
			the the messenger
		
00:46:57 --> 00:47:00
			needs to make him understand what that feels
		
00:47:00 --> 00:47:00
			like.
		
00:47:02 --> 00:47:05
			Sometimes we don't realize what we're doing, what
		
00:47:05 --> 00:47:06
			the other person feels like.
		
00:47:07 --> 00:47:09
			Now he knows what that feels like.
		
00:47:10 --> 00:47:10
			Right?
		
00:47:11 --> 00:47:12
			And it's another
		
00:47:12 --> 00:47:13
			perspective.
		
00:47:14 --> 00:47:16
			Imagine you're the
		
00:47:16 --> 00:47:18
			follower of Allah's Messenger,
		
00:47:18 --> 00:47:21
			and you feel hurt that you're not being
		
00:47:21 --> 00:47:22
			responded to.
		
00:47:22 --> 00:47:24
			How much more hurt is the Messenger whose
		
00:47:24 --> 00:47:26
			follower you are,
		
00:47:26 --> 00:47:28
			when you're not being responded to?
		
00:47:29 --> 00:47:30
			So,
		
00:47:30 --> 00:47:31
			this dawns on him,
		
00:47:32 --> 00:47:35
			and he feels really terrible. So he
		
00:47:35 --> 00:47:37
			starts in one narration,
		
00:47:38 --> 00:47:40
			he took his horse and he charged it.
		
00:47:40 --> 00:47:43
			He ran off and he got 100 of
		
00:47:43 --> 00:47:45
			feet away from the rest of the caravan.
		
00:47:46 --> 00:47:48
			So now, Umar's horse is riding by itself,
		
00:47:48 --> 00:47:51
			and everybody else is by themselves. And he
		
00:47:51 --> 00:47:52
			says to himself,
		
00:47:54 --> 00:47:55
			Umar's mother,
		
00:47:56 --> 00:47:57
			may she lose her baby
		
00:47:59 --> 00:48:00
			about himself. Basically,
		
00:48:01 --> 00:48:03
			may I die? Like I'm as I'm better
		
00:48:03 --> 00:48:04
			off dead.
		
00:48:10 --> 00:48:13
			You defied the Messenger, you were aggressive with
		
00:48:13 --> 00:48:14
			the Messenger 3 times.
		
00:48:15 --> 00:48:17
			This is what Umar is saying to himself.
		
00:48:20 --> 00:48:22
			And so you And you went to try
		
00:48:22 --> 00:48:24
			to talk to the prophet 3 times, and
		
00:48:24 --> 00:48:26
			each of those three times he won't respond
		
00:48:26 --> 00:48:26
			to you.
		
00:48:30 --> 00:48:33
			So I moved my camel and I got
		
00:48:33 --> 00:48:34
			far ahead of the people.
		
00:48:37 --> 00:48:40
			And I was so scared that some Quran
		
00:48:40 --> 00:48:41
			is about to be revealed about me.
		
00:48:43 --> 00:48:46
			Because lesser things have happened, and Quran has
		
00:48:46 --> 00:48:47
			been revealed.
		
00:48:47 --> 00:48:49
			A woman came talking to the Prophet, Quran
		
00:48:49 --> 00:48:51
			was revealed. A blind person came running to
		
00:48:51 --> 00:48:54
			the Prophet and Quran was revealed. Quran has
		
00:48:54 --> 00:48:56
			been revealed for and this is a pretty
		
00:48:56 --> 00:48:57
			big thing.
		
00:48:57 --> 00:48:58
			So
		
00:48:58 --> 00:49:00
			I was really scared, some ayat are coming
		
00:49:00 --> 00:49:02
			and I'm permanently gonna have to recite those
		
00:49:02 --> 00:49:02
			ayat
		
00:49:03 --> 00:49:04
			about myself.
		
00:49:05 --> 00:49:06
			That's gonna happen.
		
00:49:11 --> 00:49:13
			Then all when I was kind of just
		
00:49:13 --> 00:49:14
			lost in my thought, all of a sudden
		
00:49:14 --> 00:49:16
			I hear somebody calling out for me.
		
00:49:19 --> 00:49:21
			So meaning the Prophet is calling you, Omar,
		
00:49:21 --> 00:49:23
			the messenger just called you.
		
00:49:26 --> 00:49:27
			Quran. I was like, oh, I know it.
		
00:49:27 --> 00:49:29
			He's gonna recite some Quran on me.
		
00:49:30 --> 00:49:31
			It's gonna be about me.
		
00:49:31 --> 00:49:32
			This is bad.
		
00:49:36 --> 00:49:38
			So I came to the prophet
		
00:49:38 --> 00:49:40
			and I said salaam to him.
		
00:49:45 --> 00:49:45
			Says,
		
00:49:46 --> 00:49:48
			a Surah was revealed to me today.
		
00:49:49 --> 00:49:50
			It's tonight.
		
00:49:55 --> 00:49:58
			I love the surah more than anything the
		
00:49:58 --> 00:49:59
			sun rises. It's
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:01
			it shines its rays on.
		
00:50:02 --> 00:50:04
			Nothing under the sun is more beloved to
		
00:50:04 --> 00:50:05
			me
		
00:50:05 --> 00:50:06
			than this Surah.
		
00:50:07 --> 00:50:08
			And then he recited
		
00:50:09 --> 00:50:11
			the entire Surah Al Fath.
		
00:50:12 --> 00:50:13
			Inna Fathnahalaka
		
00:50:13 --> 00:50:14
			Fatham Mubina.
		
00:50:15 --> 00:50:15
			This
		
00:50:18 --> 00:50:19
			Surah was recited.
		
00:50:20 --> 00:50:22
			Now this surah is about 4 pages. And
		
00:50:22 --> 00:50:24
			one of my objectives today my my goal
		
00:50:24 --> 00:50:26
			today I mean, I I told you the
		
00:50:26 --> 00:50:27
			time is from 10 to 2. I'm not
		
00:50:27 --> 00:50:29
			gonna take that long. Trust me. I just
		
00:50:29 --> 00:50:32
			wanna give myself enough room to give you
		
00:50:32 --> 00:50:34
			mental breaks and to go through it. But
		
00:50:34 --> 00:50:36
			I wanna go, at least briefly, through the
		
00:50:36 --> 00:50:38
			entire surah. I've given somewhat of a detailed
		
00:50:38 --> 00:50:39
			lecture before on the surah.
		
00:50:39 --> 00:50:41
			But I wanna go through this entire surah
		
00:50:41 --> 00:50:43
			to you with you briefly. But before we
		
00:50:43 --> 00:50:45
			do that, I want you to understand some
		
00:50:45 --> 00:50:48
			takeaways from this this where we are right
		
00:50:48 --> 00:50:49
			now.
		
00:50:51 --> 00:50:53
			Umar bin Khattab listens to the prophet recite
		
00:50:53 --> 00:50:55
			the entire surah. The surah is about 4
		
00:50:55 --> 00:50:56
			pages long.
		
00:50:56 --> 00:50:59
			And the opening ayah of the surah is,
		
00:51:01 --> 00:51:03
			We have given you an obvious victory.
		
00:51:04 --> 00:51:06
			That's what the surah opens with. Allah has
		
00:51:06 --> 00:51:09
			given the Messenger an obvious clear victory.
		
00:51:10 --> 00:51:12
			After listening and that's the first ayah. Four
		
00:51:12 --> 00:51:15
			pages of listening to Quran, and here's Umar's
		
00:51:15 --> 00:51:15
			question.
		
00:51:21 --> 00:51:22
			Messenger of Allah, that
		
00:51:23 --> 00:51:24
			was that a victory?
		
00:51:26 --> 00:51:28
			So he's stuck on which aya?
		
00:51:29 --> 00:51:30
			He's stuck on the first ayah.
		
00:51:32 --> 00:51:34
			He's like, wait, Victor?
		
00:51:34 --> 00:51:35
			Abu Jandal?
		
00:51:36 --> 00:51:37
			The conditions of the treaty?
		
00:51:38 --> 00:51:38
			Crossing
		
00:51:39 --> 00:51:39
			out
		
00:51:40 --> 00:51:41
			crossing out Muhammad
		
00:51:43 --> 00:51:45
			Rasulullah, all these conditions, any Muslim that comes
		
00:51:45 --> 00:51:47
			and runs away we have to return back
		
00:51:47 --> 00:51:48
			to to the quaysh.
		
00:51:49 --> 00:51:50
			This was a victory?
		
00:51:51 --> 00:51:53
			And the prophet said, No.
		
00:51:54 --> 00:51:54
			Yes, it was.
		
00:51:56 --> 00:51:58
			Now let's go back a few minutes. Let's
		
00:51:58 --> 00:52:00
			go back 5 minutes. 5 minutes ago, did
		
00:52:00 --> 00:52:02
			anybody think this was victory?
		
00:52:03 --> 00:52:04
			Not even the Messenger of Allah
		
00:52:05 --> 00:52:07
			Nobody thought this was victory.
		
00:52:08 --> 00:52:09
			5 minutes later, what changed?
		
00:52:12 --> 00:52:14
			Quran. Quran changed
		
00:52:14 --> 00:52:17
			and your entire view of the political
		
00:52:17 --> 00:52:18
			situation,
		
00:52:18 --> 00:52:21
			your entire world view, your entire analysis of
		
00:52:21 --> 00:52:24
			what happened, your entire emotional state, all of
		
00:52:24 --> 00:52:27
			it has changed because Allah called it a
		
00:52:27 --> 00:52:28
			victory and He said,
		
00:52:31 --> 00:52:33
			was so happy deep within and he went
		
00:52:33 --> 00:52:34
			back.
		
00:52:34 --> 00:52:36
			This is the same Umar who was yelling
		
00:52:36 --> 00:52:37
			and screaming in anger,
		
00:52:38 --> 00:52:40
			who was just saying his her mother's lost
		
00:52:40 --> 00:52:42
			her child. This is how depressed he was.
		
00:52:42 --> 00:52:45
			And seconds later, the only difference the only
		
00:52:45 --> 00:52:47
			difference is the coming of Quran. Isn't it?
		
00:52:49 --> 00:52:51
			What I'm trying to tell you is, we
		
00:52:51 --> 00:52:54
			easily say the Quran is our world view.
		
00:52:55 --> 00:52:58
			But if you actually study the and understand
		
00:52:58 --> 00:52:59
			what that means,
		
00:53:00 --> 00:53:02
			their entire understanding
		
00:53:02 --> 00:53:05
			of reality would immediately transform
		
00:53:05 --> 00:53:07
			because of what Allah is saying.
		
00:53:08 --> 00:53:10
			And I I I Before we take this
		
00:53:10 --> 00:53:11
			break, I really want you to know what
		
00:53:11 --> 00:53:12
			that implies.
		
00:53:13 --> 00:53:15
			That implies I'm looking at reality with my
		
00:53:15 --> 00:53:17
			eyes right now. I can see you, you
		
00:53:17 --> 00:53:18
			can see me.
		
00:53:18 --> 00:53:21
			Allah has given this eye, this muscle, this
		
00:53:21 --> 00:53:24
			organ, the ability to absorb light and then
		
00:53:24 --> 00:53:26
			function as a camera. And I can see
		
00:53:26 --> 00:53:27
			you and you can see me.
		
00:53:28 --> 00:53:29
			But the Quran
		
00:53:30 --> 00:53:32
			calls itself Noor.
		
00:53:33 --> 00:53:34
			One of the names of the Quran is
		
00:53:35 --> 00:53:35
			Noor.
		
00:53:36 --> 00:53:36
			Now
		
00:53:37 --> 00:53:38
			without light, can I see?
		
00:53:39 --> 00:53:42
			No. Like physical light? Without physical light, this
		
00:53:42 --> 00:53:43
			eye is no good.
		
00:53:44 --> 00:53:46
			The same way the Quran is noor and
		
00:53:46 --> 00:53:48
			the light of the Quran helps me see
		
00:53:48 --> 00:53:50
			things that otherwise I cannot see.
		
00:53:52 --> 00:53:53
			This is the reality of the Quran.
		
00:53:54 --> 00:53:56
			Even though Sahabi can't see it, even the
		
00:53:56 --> 00:53:58
			messenger can't see it,
		
00:53:58 --> 00:54:00
			Allah the owner of
		
00:54:01 --> 00:54:04
			when he sends the of the Quran, the
		
00:54:04 --> 00:54:05
			light, what is the purpose of light? To
		
00:54:05 --> 00:54:06
			help you see something.
		
00:54:08 --> 00:54:10
			So when the Quran's light comes, it helps
		
00:54:10 --> 00:54:12
			you see something you could never have seen
		
00:54:12 --> 00:54:13
			without the light of the Quran.
		
00:54:14 --> 00:54:16
			And so even though they're living in this
		
00:54:16 --> 00:54:18
			event, they're living through this experience,
		
00:54:19 --> 00:54:20
			their experience
		
00:54:21 --> 00:54:23
			is lying to them and the Quran is
		
00:54:23 --> 00:54:24
			telling them the truth.
		
00:54:25 --> 00:54:28
			Their experience isn't more real than the word
		
00:54:28 --> 00:54:31
			of Allah that opens with, this was a
		
00:54:31 --> 00:54:32
			clear victory.
		
00:54:33 --> 00:54:36
			Even though from the visible, the physical eye,
		
00:54:36 --> 00:54:37
			they can't see how.
		
00:54:38 --> 00:54:39
			How in the world is this a victory?
		
00:54:40 --> 00:54:42
			I'm only gonna answer one part of that
		
00:54:42 --> 00:54:44
			question. There's a political response to that question,
		
00:54:44 --> 00:54:46
			which we'll get into a little bit later.
		
00:54:46 --> 00:54:48
			But I want you to understand the spiritual,
		
00:54:48 --> 00:54:50
			the more important part of this question.
		
00:54:51 --> 00:54:53
			There's a few of you here.
		
00:54:54 --> 00:54:55
			Let's take a scenario.
		
00:54:56 --> 00:54:58
			2 or 3 young men get very angry
		
00:54:58 --> 00:55:00
			with me. They get up and start yelling
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:01
			and screaming at me right now
		
00:55:03 --> 00:55:06
			because they're they're younger guys and they're big
		
00:55:06 --> 00:55:07
			and they get up and they're making a
		
00:55:07 --> 00:55:08
			lot of noise.
		
00:55:09 --> 00:55:11
			Am I supposed am I is it easy
		
00:55:11 --> 00:55:12
			for me to calm them down?
		
00:55:14 --> 00:55:15
			No. 1, because they outnumber me.
		
00:55:17 --> 00:55:18
			2, because they're angry.
		
00:55:19 --> 00:55:21
			Right? And what if it's 10 people
		
00:55:22 --> 00:55:24
			that start getting at at the same time.
		
00:55:24 --> 00:55:25
			10 people
		
00:55:25 --> 00:55:27
			interrupt. There's 2,000 people in a hubba. 10
		
00:55:27 --> 00:55:29
			people interrupt a hubba, and they start yelling
		
00:55:29 --> 00:55:31
			and screaming. Can the khateem control that?
		
00:55:32 --> 00:55:34
			Now imagine if it's a 100 people.
		
00:55:35 --> 00:55:37
			Now imagine if it's a 1000 people.
		
00:55:38 --> 00:55:40
			Now imagine, in this case, 1,400
		
00:55:40 --> 00:55:41
			people. No microphone.
		
00:55:43 --> 00:55:44
			No microphone.
		
00:55:44 --> 00:55:46
			Now tell me, are those men that are
		
00:55:46 --> 00:55:48
			sitting in that audience, are they angry?
		
00:55:49 --> 00:55:50
			Yeah.
		
00:55:50 --> 00:55:52
			They're extremely angry.
		
00:55:53 --> 00:55:54
			They're screaming, Subhanallah.
		
00:55:59 --> 00:56:01
			How will he return to the mushrikeen? He
		
00:56:01 --> 00:56:04
			came to us as a Muslim. They're angry.
		
00:56:04 --> 00:56:07
			And when when young people get angry enough,
		
00:56:08 --> 00:56:10
			even if it's a peaceful demonstration,
		
00:56:12 --> 00:56:14
			it only takes 1 or 2 angry people
		
00:56:14 --> 00:56:16
			to start a spark. And what turns what
		
00:56:16 --> 00:56:17
			does a demonstration turn into?
		
00:56:18 --> 00:56:20
			It turns into a riot. Very good.
		
00:56:20 --> 00:56:22
			Does that happen in the world all the
		
00:56:22 --> 00:56:22
			time?
		
00:56:23 --> 00:56:23
			Yep.
		
00:56:24 --> 00:56:26
			This is why it's very dangerous to have
		
00:56:26 --> 00:56:28
			angry young men outside
		
00:56:29 --> 00:56:31
			because enough anger and it will turn into
		
00:56:31 --> 00:56:34
			something else. And whenever there's a peaceful, even
		
00:56:34 --> 00:56:36
			if there's a peaceful protest, what is the
		
00:56:36 --> 00:56:38
			government always do anywhere in the world?
		
00:56:39 --> 00:56:41
			They even if they're not gonna beat them
		
00:56:41 --> 00:56:43
			up, they're gonna have a massive police presence
		
00:56:43 --> 00:56:45
			because any peaceful protest because these
		
00:56:45 --> 00:56:46
			protest
		
00:56:46 --> 00:56:50
			because these people are angry that anger can
		
00:56:50 --> 00:56:51
			turn into violence
		
00:56:52 --> 00:56:52
			at any second.
		
00:56:54 --> 00:56:57
			Now these people are used to dying for
		
00:56:57 --> 00:56:58
			their Messenger
		
00:56:59 --> 00:57:00
			In fact, they love it.
		
00:57:01 --> 00:57:03
			They honor their Messenger
		
00:57:03 --> 00:57:05
			and they've seen their Messenger be insulted multiple
		
00:57:05 --> 00:57:07
			times in front of their face. Right now.
		
00:57:08 --> 00:57:08
			With the negotiators.
		
00:57:10 --> 00:57:12
			They will Allah describes them
		
00:57:13 --> 00:57:13
			as,
		
00:57:14 --> 00:57:16
			They give others preference over themselves.
		
00:57:17 --> 00:57:18
			And then,
		
00:57:20 --> 00:57:22
			you became brothers to each other. They saw
		
00:57:22 --> 00:57:25
			their brother bleed and cut, and be dragged
		
00:57:25 --> 00:57:26
			back. Didn't they?
		
00:57:27 --> 00:57:29
			Is that enough to maybe get one of
		
00:57:29 --> 00:57:31
			them to act out a little bit? Like
		
00:57:32 --> 00:57:34
			came close. Right? He put his sword next
		
00:57:34 --> 00:57:36
			to the animal, brought it close and says,
		
00:57:37 --> 00:57:38
			you know.
		
00:57:39 --> 00:57:39
			That happened.
		
00:57:41 --> 00:57:43
			But is it possible that one of them
		
00:57:43 --> 00:57:46
			would have 2, 1, 2, 3 yelling, screaming.
		
00:57:46 --> 00:57:48
			If every one of them, they started screaming,
		
00:57:51 --> 00:57:54
			If they started yelling and screaming, do you
		
00:57:54 --> 00:57:56
			think the Prophet's voice could even be heard?
		
00:57:57 --> 00:57:58
			You couldn't.
		
00:57:59 --> 00:58:00
			I couldn't.
		
00:58:00 --> 00:58:02
			Now in that moment,
		
00:58:03 --> 00:58:05
			you notice the most tragic part of this
		
00:58:05 --> 00:58:06
			entire story was when
		
00:58:08 --> 00:58:09
			Rasulullah told them
		
00:58:09 --> 00:58:11
			to get up, and they didn't get up.
		
00:58:12 --> 00:58:13
			He told them to slaughter the animal, and
		
00:58:13 --> 00:58:15
			they didn't slaughter the animal.
		
00:58:15 --> 00:58:16
			He told them to shave their head. They
		
00:58:16 --> 00:58:17
			didn't shave their head.
		
00:58:18 --> 00:58:20
			But actually, I would argue
		
00:58:20 --> 00:58:22
			that that is one of the most amazing
		
00:58:22 --> 00:58:24
			moments in the history of the world.
		
00:58:25 --> 00:58:28
			Because if that is the extent of their
		
00:58:28 --> 00:58:29
			protest,
		
00:58:30 --> 00:58:32
			that's the most they will protest is they
		
00:58:32 --> 00:58:34
			will delay getting up.
		
00:58:35 --> 00:58:38
			I don't think any group of human beings
		
00:58:38 --> 00:58:40
			that large with emotions that high can ever
		
00:58:40 --> 00:58:41
			demonstrate
		
00:58:42 --> 00:58:43
			that much restraint
		
00:58:43 --> 00:58:44
			ever.
		
00:58:45 --> 00:58:46
			I don't think that's ever possible.
		
00:58:48 --> 00:58:49
			And this is a demonstration
		
00:58:49 --> 00:58:50
			of the discipline
		
00:58:51 --> 00:58:52
			that these people had
		
00:58:53 --> 00:58:55
			that has never been witnessed in the world
		
00:58:55 --> 00:58:55
			before.
		
00:58:56 --> 00:58:57
			The restraint
		
00:58:58 --> 00:59:00
			and the control over themselves that they had,
		
00:59:00 --> 00:59:02
			the loyalty to the Messenger they had
		
00:59:03 --> 00:59:06
			that even when every ounce of their being
		
00:59:06 --> 00:59:08
			was questioning what he was doing,
		
00:59:09 --> 00:59:12
			And their rage and their anger was completely
		
00:59:12 --> 00:59:12
			justified,
		
00:59:13 --> 00:59:14
			completely justified,
		
00:59:15 --> 00:59:16
			they refused to act.
		
00:59:17 --> 00:59:19
			They refused to act on it.
		
00:59:20 --> 00:59:22
			And when they when they did that,
		
00:59:23 --> 00:59:25
			they actually passed one of the biggest test
		
00:59:25 --> 00:59:26
			there could ever be,
		
00:59:28 --> 00:59:28
			That of
		
00:59:29 --> 00:59:30
			having power,
		
00:59:31 --> 00:59:32
			having the ability,
		
00:59:33 --> 00:59:34
			and having the power,
		
00:59:34 --> 00:59:35
			and still
		
00:59:36 --> 00:59:36
			not acting.
		
00:59:38 --> 00:59:39
			It's one thing when you can't act when
		
00:59:39 --> 00:59:41
			you don't have power. But when you have
		
00:59:41 --> 00:59:42
			power and you still don't act now, this
		
00:59:42 --> 00:59:43
			is a different kind of test.
		
00:59:44 --> 00:59:46
			You know? When you can put someone in
		
00:59:46 --> 00:59:46
			their place,
		
00:59:47 --> 00:59:49
			and they're wronging you. And you choose not
		
00:59:49 --> 00:59:50
			to because you were told not to by
		
00:59:51 --> 00:59:51
			the Messenger
		
00:59:53 --> 00:59:54
			They demonstrated
		
00:59:55 --> 00:59:56
			that they were the most powerful group of
		
00:59:56 --> 00:59:57
			people on the planet.
		
00:59:59 --> 01:00:01
			The Rasulullah, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, was given the
		
01:00:02 --> 01:00:02
			the the mightiest
		
01:00:03 --> 01:00:03
			resource
		
01:00:04 --> 01:00:05
			on this earth.
		
01:00:06 --> 01:00:08
			The most remarkable human beings.
		
01:00:09 --> 01:00:11
			Actually, the ultimate victory that Allah gave to
		
01:00:11 --> 01:00:13
			the prophet is a sahaba.
		
01:00:14 --> 01:00:15
			Actually.
		
01:00:16 --> 01:00:18
			He already told foretold this. He said that,
		
01:00:18 --> 01:00:19
			you know, all of you are going to
		
01:00:19 --> 01:00:20
			be entering jannah, the ones that went through
		
01:00:20 --> 01:00:21
			this this journey.
		
01:00:22 --> 01:00:24
			And if Allah wanted,
		
01:00:24 --> 01:00:27
			had Allah wanted, the Quraysh would've surrendered.
		
01:00:27 --> 01:00:29
			Had Allah wanted, that would've been hajj.
		
01:00:30 --> 01:00:32
			Allah can make that happen.
		
01:00:32 --> 01:00:34
			But Allah didn't want that to happen.
		
01:00:35 --> 01:00:37
			Allah wanted the hajj to be prevented.
		
01:00:37 --> 01:00:39
			Allah wanted the sahaba to be frustrated.
		
01:00:40 --> 01:00:42
			Allah wanted them to experience that rage, and
		
01:00:42 --> 01:00:44
			then Allah wanted to reveal the surah.
		
01:00:45 --> 01:00:46
			That was Allah's plan.
		
01:00:47 --> 01:00:49
			And the whole objective of this surah is
		
01:00:49 --> 01:00:51
			to define one thing, victory.
		
01:00:53 --> 01:00:55
			That's actually the objective. Now I told you,
		
01:00:55 --> 01:00:57
			if you're if there was red light
		
01:00:58 --> 01:01:00
			right now in this room, how would everybody
		
01:01:00 --> 01:01:01
			look?
		
01:01:02 --> 01:01:04
			They look red. If there was green light,
		
01:01:04 --> 01:01:05
			how would everybody look?
		
01:01:05 --> 01:01:06
			They look green.
		
01:01:07 --> 01:01:09
			Meaning, the kind of light that goes in
		
01:01:09 --> 01:01:12
			here will influence what you see.
		
01:01:13 --> 01:01:15
			The Quran is coming, the Quran's light is
		
01:01:15 --> 01:01:17
			going into the heart. Yes?
		
01:01:17 --> 01:01:19
			And that's going to influence what I see.
		
01:01:19 --> 01:01:22
			In other words, before this surah came,
		
01:01:22 --> 01:01:24
			I had a definition of victory.
		
01:01:26 --> 01:01:28
			And this was not victory.
		
01:01:28 --> 01:01:30
			After the surah came,
		
01:01:30 --> 01:01:33
			I have a new Quran inspired definition of
		
01:01:33 --> 01:01:36
			victory which is very different from my old
		
01:01:36 --> 01:01:37
			definition of victory, isn't it?
		
01:01:39 --> 01:01:40
			This is what Allah was giving us.
		
01:01:41 --> 01:01:43
			In fact, victory is one of the most
		
01:01:43 --> 01:01:43
			important
		
01:01:44 --> 01:01:44
			concepts
		
01:01:44 --> 01:01:45
			in any civilization.
		
01:01:46 --> 01:01:48
			The ummah makes du'a for victory all the
		
01:01:48 --> 01:01:50
			time. Don't don't they?
		
01:01:51 --> 01:01:53
			With the genocide going on in Palestine right
		
01:01:53 --> 01:01:55
			now, we're always making du'a for the victory
		
01:01:55 --> 01:01:56
			of the Muslims.
		
01:01:56 --> 01:01:57
			Aren't we?
		
01:01:59 --> 01:02:01
			Was making dua for victory before every battle.
		
01:02:02 --> 01:02:04
			Is something we ask Allah for all the
		
01:02:04 --> 01:02:04
			time.
		
01:02:05 --> 01:02:07
			Allah is now going to give us a
		
01:02:07 --> 01:02:10
			perspective on fatt. Without Suratul Fatt, we would
		
01:02:10 --> 01:02:11
			never have had it.
		
01:02:12 --> 01:02:12
			And without
		
01:02:13 --> 01:02:15
			the emotional trauma,
		
01:02:15 --> 01:02:17
			and the difficulty of the Sahaba that they
		
01:02:17 --> 01:02:19
			went through, they would never have understood this
		
01:02:19 --> 01:02:20
			definition.
		
01:02:20 --> 01:02:22
			In other words, this definition that is being
		
01:02:22 --> 01:02:24
			given to us in Surat Al Fath is
		
01:02:24 --> 01:02:27
			very expensive. The sahaba went through a lot
		
01:02:27 --> 01:02:28
			to get this definition.
		
01:02:29 --> 01:02:30
			You understand?
		
01:02:31 --> 01:02:33
			So we really have to respect this definition,
		
01:02:33 --> 01:02:35
			and we really have to give ourselves to
		
01:02:35 --> 01:02:36
			this definition. So after
		
01:02:37 --> 01:02:39
			a good 10 minute break, we're going to
		
01:02:39 --> 01:02:41
			start journeying a little bit through the surah.
		
01:02:41 --> 01:02:42
			Maybe I'll give you a little bit of
		
01:02:42 --> 01:02:44
			a snippet from history more, and then we'll
		
01:02:44 --> 01:02:47
			journey quickly through the surah, and and highlight
		
01:02:47 --> 01:02:48
			some things that I think are important for
		
01:02:48 --> 01:02:50
			us to to look at.
		
01:02:52 --> 01:02:52
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