Nouman Ali Khan – Guiding Our Children Avoiding Burnout and Finding Lifes Purpose – Q&A
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of having a clear understanding of one's life and the challenges that come with it. They also mention the importance of avoiding burnout and taking care of oneself. The speaker provides resources for further learning and asks questions to answer questions.
AI: Summary ©
When they stand in front of Allah, you
cannot stand in front of Allah for them.
Like your mother cannot stand in front of
Allah for you.
So, you can give nasiha, but the decision
has to be theirs because they're an adult.
Allah will let him see that.
Right?
So when he says he's chosen you, then
he knows there's something bigger coming.
If you were completely burnt out, you wouldn't
be alive anymore.
You can't develop a defeated mentality.
I have
a question.
When you said that parents need to give
space to their children.
So, I'm here with my daughters.
What I'm thinking is, sometimes it happens that
parents can foresee what's going to happen in
a few years.
So, it's not necessary to listen to them.
It's not necessary to listen to them.
If I have my own daughter, let's say
she's an adult.
And she says she wants to get married
somewhere.
And it's permissible according to Sharia.
Right?
Then I have no right to stop that.
I have no right.
I can say I think this is a
bad idea.
But you're an adult, the decision is yours.
If your child went to court, your 25
-year-old went to court, you cannot go
to court for them.
When they stand in front of Allah, you
cannot stand in front of Allah for them.
Like your mother cannot stand in front of
Allah for you.
So, you can give Naseeha.
But the decision has to be theirs because
they're an adult.
It's different for when they're children.
She's 12.
Yeah, then she's a child.
How can I tell them?
When a child is a child, we have
to guide their decisions.
And we have to be able to reason
with them.
And we have to be able to explain
to them why this is a bad choice
or a good choice.
But some, like, after puberty, she's an adult.
Right.
Not after 18.
No, no, that's not necessarily exactly right.
I think that there's cultural differences.
So, when somebody's considered an adult, when they
become independent.
I like that definition better than puberty.
Okay, yeah.
It makes sense, I guess.
It makes sense.
Mr. Yusuf, don't see the challenges as a
disaster.
But how can he see that as a
way?
It's not easy.
The only thing that can keep us from
seeing a challenge as a disaster is, again,
what I told her.
Once you see your life having purpose.
Let me give you an example.
When somebody is focused on a project at
work, yeah?
They have this big project they have to
do.
And then they have the issue at home.
Or they have an issue with their family
or whatever.
They're like, I know that's an issue, but
right now I have other work to do.
So, they're able to deal with that because
they have something bigger going on.
You understand?
Or, for example, if you're taking care of
your mom at the hospital or something.
And then there's some other problems happening.
Even though they're happening, they're okay because you've
got to work on something bigger right now.
Right?
But what if there's nothing bigger?
When there's nothing bigger, that's when you get
stuck.
Every small issue becomes a big issue.
And you keep getting stuck from one disaster
to another to another.
Right?
And then the other thing is for a
lot of young ladies, for example, they want
to marry some particular young man.
Right?
And they have their heart set on that.
A man is not a purpose.
A woman is not a purpose.
Having tranquility in your life, having a good
marriage can be a purpose.
But that particular person is not a purpose.
So when you have the purpose in your
mind, and even if that doesn't work out,
you're going to be okay.
But if that person became your purpose, then
you're just going to go from one disaster
to another to another.
You understand?
Allah is going to make...
Allah will let him see that.
Right?
So when He says He's chosen you, then
He knows there's something bigger coming.
And you have to keep an eye out
in your life.
What big thing is Allah opening for me?
What opportunity?
What am I learning from this?
How can I use it to be good
to myself and others?
Right?
Nobody can read your life like you can.
You understand?
Like Allah didn't reveal to...
I don't believe Allah revealed to Yusuf alayhis
salaam, Go apply to be the minister.
Like, he saw the opportunity, he recognized this
is what Allah wants.
And he said, put me in charge.
Right?
So bigger goal is the key.
And being self-aware.
We know we have to change our mindset,
but what if we reach our burnout point?
What we have to do?
Once you reach what?
Burnout point.
Your what?
Burnout point.
We burn out.
Oh, burnout.
Yes.
Take a break.
Everybody burns out.
At some point or another.
But if you were completely burnt out, you
wouldn't be alive anymore.
You can't develop a defeated mentality.
Right?
And, you know, I would have to know
a little more what exactly is the burnout.
You understand?
You know, I live...
I'm a nutritionist, so I give spaces to
my patients every day.
64 patients I take care every day.
So I give them all the spaces, but
I need my own spaces too.
Maybe you're overdoing it.
Maybe taking care of 16 patients is better
than taking care of 64 patients.
Because you need space for yourself too.
You're overdoing it.
If I was doing a story night every
day, I would be burnt out.
You understand that, right?
So I have to give myself space too.
I have to relax.
I have to breathe.
I have to recharge.
Human beings are not just a machine that
can keep on going.
I think my reading of your problem is
you're overdoing it.
And when you're overdoing it, doing good to
yourself is not good when you're doing bad
to yourself.
When you're doing good to others.
Do good to others, but don't compromise yourself.
وَلَا تَنْسَ نَصِيبَكَ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا The advice was,
don't forget your part.
Do good to others, but don't forget your
part.
So take care of yourself.
Inshallah.
The fact that you're burning out means you're
not taking care of yourself.
Okay, you're welcome.
Hey everyone, you just watched me answer a
question somebody had about the Qur'an.
I'm sure you have many questions about the
Qur'an yourself.
A lot of these questions get answered in
the deeper look study myself and my team
do and turn into a series of the
Qur'an on the deeper look series available
at bayyinatv.com.
So get your questions answered sometimes even without
having to ask them by studying these surahs
in depth with us at bayyinatv.com under
the deeper look section.