Nouman Ali Khan – Family Matters

			When
		

			people are brought into your family and people are brought into my family, for better or for worse,
Allah brought them together for a purpose.
		

			Everything he does is for a purpose. Sometimes you look at your brother, you're like, how are you my
brother? Sometimes people look at their parents, like, seriously, you're my parents. Like, I'm
nothing like you. How are you? My parents? Sometimes you have you wonder, like, if if we weren't
family, I don't know if I would have anything to do with you, or would want to have anything to do
with you. But Allah put people together for a purpose. He knows exactly who to you know, put in
whose family and who to connect and tied to each other genetically. In fact, he even planned for who
should be your in laws in Allah, He went nearly law Geralyn. He planned for that too. Now, all of
		

			that can feel like a big trial. But if I, if I contemplate this is a certain way, I need to find the
blessing in it. And I cannot find the blessing in it. Unless I look, look at everything
purposefully, maybe behind this conflict. I need to be purposeful and find the right thing to do the
right things to say to fix this conflict. Allah talks about people who really believe in him, and he
says and those who do facade on the opposite side, he says we're gonna Amara, Allah Hoovy. And
useful, when you see Do not fail, or they, they cut apart, what Allah commanded to keep together,
like families are hard to keep together.
		

			You know, spouses are hard to keep together, kids are hard to keep together, the conflicts between
siblings can be very intense, the conflicts between parents and kids can be very intense. The
contact between your family and your enlace family can be very intense. Those are not small
conflicts. But in all of those conflicts, if I look at that purposefully, if I look at you know
what, I'm going to turn this into a blessing somehow, I'm going to find a way of resolving this
conflict. I'm going to find a way of engaging this conversation. Allah put our profits in such
difficulty. And he they found a way of seeking the favor of Allah because they looked at everything
		

			purposefully. So this is one of the first lessons that we draw from a Fabien near Natella. He will
be there Mattila whom yet
		

			another thing that I like to remind myself and all of you have in these ayat is that Allah azza wa
jal says what Allahu gyla can mean and for cecum as Raja
		

			it's really heavy words. Allah didn't just say he made you he gave you spouses, that would have been
easier. Allahu gyla calm as watching. Allah provided you spouses, good enough. Nope, Allahu Allah,
Allah, Allah ko min and fusi Khan as watching Allah furnished for you provided for you, for you from
your own cells from within yourselves. Now the contemplating this, some of us you don't have really
interesting thoughts.
		

			Who is who are you? You and I are human beings and the word to be it to be human, the word in son is
tied to owns an estate in us. It's tied to compassion, love, care, courtesy. Those are feelings that
human beings were given inside of them, to have to have regard for somebody else's feelings. Like
for example, when Allah says about not entering people's homes without permission. Like if you just
saw if you went to some friend's house, you can't just walk in, right? Had that destiny so until you
can feel that you're wanted. Right. And so you shouldn't go at 3am to your friend's house and say so
he doesn't, he doesn't mind. I can just walk into you can't just walk in and you shouldn't go at it
		

			at an uncomfortable hour. You shouldn't have the sense of when this is a courteous thing to do. The
word for human beings is actually directly tied to the word for care courtesy feelings love
compassion. Once and it's taken us. Allah says he made my spouse from the same elements that he made
me if I have feelings, if I have thoughts, if I have considerations, she does too. And a spouse
should think if I have feeling some things bother me, I love some things I care about some things.
He cares about some things too, and they can't be the same. We're not the same well, not halacha
Zakharova. Lowenthal, in this area, Ganesha is differentiated between the male and the female. So we
		

			both have feelings, we both have sensitivities, and at the same time, we're both really different.
And when Allah says mean, unfussy come as virgin, there's a really beautiful, you know, ishara in
these in these words is an indication in these words, that because they are from me, I have to try
that feel. You know, if they're saying something that's hurtful, Where's that coming from? What
feeling did that come from? What would make her say that it's not just because she's evil? Or not
because they're just arrogant? Those are easy answers, right? This person is so arrogant. They said
this, this and this, but maybe behind what you think is arrogance is pain.
		

			And you have your way of dealing with pain and they have a very different way of dealing with pain,
and their pain comes out in hurtful, hurtful words. Or what do you think are hurtful words
		

			So if we develop this, this thickness, then in our really in our family relationships, you wouldn't
see your son as being disrespectful. You would see behind that disrespect, something happened that
needs to get resolved. Some of you there's a wall there that you need to break with your love and
compassion.
		

			And you need to do that purposefully. You need to understand the larger purpose Allah wants these
people that were put in a family, Allah wants them to stick with each other. Allah wants them to
overcome their barriers. Well Allah Who Giada Khun unfussy comas, watchin wa Khun Bernina hahaha
it's also interesting that in these ayat, Allah provided you children, Allah provided you in law's
grandchildren, others that will serve your purpose, others that will be of benefit to you. Allah is
saying that because the an all of it starts with as much meaning you get married, when you get
married, you connect it to another family, because you connect it to another family, maybe one day
		

			you lost a job, or you had a difficulty. And it was your, your wife's cousin's friend that helped
you out you know, there's connections that are made, that Allah provided help for you this for you
in ways you couldn't have imagined because of that relationship. Because connections were formed
through that. So Allah is telling us that we should look at are the human relations that we have,
and the impact of those relationships. As all part of Allah's plan that he provided, the people that
came into my life are people that he provided, that doesn't mean that it always works out. It
doesn't mean that everybody is great, but it does mean that we have to look at everything
		

			purposefully. We have to we have to keep that in mind. First and foremost.
		

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