Nouman Ali Khan – EPIC Family Night
AI: Summary ©
The title of the Quran is discussed, including its use in the book "medestMBom Auston," the importance of understanding the meaning of the current crisis, and the use of words like "has" and "has been" to describe emotions and behavior. The importance of forgiveness is emphasized, along with the need for a decision process based on one's own experiences and opinions. The speakers emphasize the need for trusting oneself and avoiding negative emotions.
AI: Summary ©
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I was very graciously asked to give a few details of the Quran while I'm here, I intend to travel very soon. So inshallah Allah this week, and inshallah next week, I'll be giving short reflections on the Quran. And my intention with this series, whenever I do get a chance is to share parts of the Quran that I find particularly moving places in the Quran that I have studied before, but when I study them again, I realize there's so much more there that I didn't realize, and that's kind of the wonder of the Quran that you can't ever pass through it, and think that you've covered it all or you got it. And as as we experience life, as we experience our lives, we realized something was always
there. We just never saw it. Right? That's the nature and the beauty of the Quran. So one thing I've been thinking about lately is actually the way Allah talks about the life of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So the CRO of the prophets, Islamism is a big subject, right? There's, it's a huge voluminous thing from the beginning, before revelation to getting revelation to the 23 year history, so it's a big, huge piece of history. And we have so much record and so much documentation about that history. But what Allah does in the Quran is he takes a few episodes from that history. And he talks about them at length in the Quran. So, I mean, I want you to think of it
this way, because the first thing I want to do in this series is kind of set your expectations and give you a kind of thought process and especially for the younger folks here, I think it's going to be helpful for you when you study Quran also. So Ibraheem Alehissalaam lived many years, arguably well over 100 years, right? So that's a very long life. But if you study Ibrahim alayhi salam in the Quran, it's only a few pages and you've got all of the story of Ibrahim right in Sudan, a few pages is not enough to cover everything that happened in his life. Right. But Allah what does he do? He highlights some things you can think of the most important treasures from the life of Ibrahim
alayhis salam are recorded in the Quran. No, Helene salaam lived I'll facilitate Allah hum Cinerama 1000, except 50, which there are two interpretations. One interpretation is 950 years. The other interpretation is he actually lived 1000 years and only 50 of them were easy, and the other 950 were difficult. That's why the difference between Santa and arm in the eye those two ways to look at that. But regardless, that's a very long life. And if you study the Quran, we by comparison of 950 years, a couple of pages and you're done with the story of Nora Helene Salam, and even then there will be redundancies. There will be things Allah will mention again, that he's mentioned somewhere
else. So there's a certain formula in the Quran, Allah is not going to give me every detail in the history of every prophet, that's not the formula of the Quran. The Quran formula is to take very special moments and very special pieces of their lives, that Allah decides, until the day of judgment, human beings will need these episodes from their lives. And that's what He puts inside his Quran. Now, it's easy to see that he did that with Rahim Allah, He said, with Musa alayhis salam with no headaches. Even with Adam Alayhis Salam and all of the prophets, however, we lose sight of the fact that he's also doing that with Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam, even with Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi salam, he's highlighting certain very special incidents. And he's commenting on those incidents. And one of those incidents that I'm going to talk to you about today is actually something he talked about at for an unusually long period of time. And certainly Enron, almost 60 ayat are dedicated to one episode and that is the episode of the Battle of org. Now what happens there are multiple battles in the sea of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam and what we do, unfortunately, is we look at a battle as just a battle this one versus
That one who won who lost how many people died done move on to the next battle. But we got them good or hurt. Yeah, we took a hit. Let's move on, you know. So we have this like reduced view of what's happening. If this was so simple. If the football was going to be sort of more liquid Abdullah, today I'll be talking about the Battle of whether we won or going to Salah. So
if it was that simple, Allah would not be talking about 60, IOD commenting on the subject, right, and this is this is not about better, it's actually about awkward. And it's not just awkward. It's interesting what Allah does with butter as opposed to what he does with a herd in uncertain Bukhara. Allah gave us a number of bots that were before the Battle of blood. So before the battle actually happened, Allah was preparing the believers. But in Sudan, Iran, Allah revealed 60 or so ayat that Allah talked about after everything happened.
So it's not pre battle. It's post battle commentary from Allah. Now, you know, in the news and stuff like that, you get like, some incident happens. And then there's commentary by experts, right? Political analysts and experts and journalists, and they're commenting on what's going on or what happened. or later on, there will be a documentary of World War Two documentary, they'll look back at something that happened in there explaining it and describing it to you, right, that's what happens. And that's the perspective of a historian. That's the perspective of a journalist, or that's the perspective of a war survivor, right? Those are their perspectives. What are we getting
in the Quran, we're getting something happened, and now we're getting Allah's perspective on it. That's, that's the difference, right? We're getting Allah's perspective. And it's not just about commenting and will happen. Allah says, fee, the crew come in these commentaries, there's something that you and I will need, until Judgment Day, everything in the Quran is talking about us. So if we're not just learning a lesson from history, we're going to learn something about ourselves, I'm going to learn something that I need today. So, a long time ago, somebody actually asked me at an Eid gathering,
what am I going to do with like, the Battle of a hood? What am I going to do with the Battle of brother? What does that have to do with my life? I mean, why? Okay, fine, it happened. That's great. But how am I supposed to do anything with that? Right? So there's this mentality, I don't see how this is relevant to me. And one of my goals in this series, is to first of all learn something about what's what Allah is saying. And then figure out how that's relevant for me and how that's relevant for you. Because at the end of the day, that's the point. That's actually the final point, right? So I won't be talking about the entire battle or anything, and I'm not going to be talking to you about
60 ayat very, very few of them, I'll get to where things started going bad. Right. So there's a turning point in the battle. Many of you that are familiar, that were archers, right bow and arrow, they were placed on top of a strategic Hill, those of you that have gone to armor, I've probably gone to what's left of that hill on top right. And they thought that the battle is over, and they left that position. Right. So that's my version of explaining what happened. Now Allah is gonna comment on that. So I'm gonna, let's see what Allah has to say about that. He says, what are called sadaqa Kamala, who are there who is sunnah whom be if need, Allah had already fulfilled his promise
to you, when you were making them feel the might have your war by his permission. You were making them feel it, they were getting the heat of battle from you had either official term until you became loose until you people became loose with an emery and you started arguing with each other about the command the decision, meaning the decision issued by the prophets lighter than, hey, don't leave this position. No, no, he said that if things are going bad, but this is now things are going good. The command doesn't apply. We have a disagreement with each other. Right? So Hector either fashion to modernism, that turns out I'm Phil Emery, what I'll say to remember the Morocco Mata
hipbone and you disobeyed now, Allah's verdict is you actually disobeyed me in * Morocco matter. Hey Boone, after you saw what you love, the thing is a shield. Somebody would take a whole life savings to buy a shield. And a piece of armor is not something cheap back in the day. These are like lifetimes of say that's a Ferrari sitting right there with the keys right there. You know, and so Allah says when you saw swords and shields and battle you guys know like it but did everybody have a sword? Did everybody have a shield? No, because it's not something everybody can afford. So when you saw the enemy leaving their armor because the enemy was dropping their armor and their
shields because they want to run away faster, when you were making them feel it, they were running for it and the weight was holding them down. So they were dropping their armor and running for it while you know what now anybody who picks it up this is going to be well for the Muslims and by the way, Muslims were starving. By this time in Medina things were not easy actually. We're not in an economically good position. So Allah says comments on this one. He says you are making them feel it. You started disagreeing with
each other and you disobeyed because of what you saw that you loved by the Morocco Mata hipbone. Then he says something that sounds really harsh he says mean coma you read the dunya woman coma you read will ask her among you are those who want this world. And among you are those who want the next life. Woof. Woof. Now I want you to use your imagination a little bit. The battle is over.
Whoever made a mistake made a mistake. They're all sitting there in the masjid of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, he's reciting these ayat.
And I want you to imagine I'll imagine I'm one of those people who said, no, no, he didn't mean stay up here. If we're winning, it's over. Come on guys. And I ran down, and then everything that happened happened, okay. And when the Prophet SAW Selim is reciting these ayat, by the way, he's already injured. So I want you to visualize something. The prophesy someone was reportedly injured in three different places on his face. Right, and they had to be mud plaster put on his face because the bleeding wouldn't stop. And an arrow had pierced through his jaw too. And the helmet has broken and pierced through his skin too. And tooth teeth had been knocked out and his face was bloodied so
much that at one point, he had fallen unconscious of Allahu alayhi wasallam. And the rumors spread that he's actually been killed. So facial injuries like that. They don't heal overnight. So when he's coming and reciting these ayat, everybody's seeing his face. Like it would be really hard for me to give a hug, but after a root canal, you understand like, you would know that I'm visibly in pain, my voice would sound different. Now I want you to imagine that you're sitting there, Russell's Isola miss talking, and you're part of the reason he's injured.
Like you had to do you messed up, you messed up and he got injured, 70 of the Sahaba got killed. Not only did they get killed, their bodies got mutilated. That includes the uncle of the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam, who is absolutely devastated and what they have done their hands out of the law where no, this is not a small thing. And there are many families that are crying, because the head of the household is dead, somebody's brother's dead, somebody's son is dead, the entire OMA is bleeding, and now these ayat are coming and you're sitting there with this, like, heavy burden of guilt piled on top of you. And now okay, it's bad enough that people are commenting on you, or
people are looking at you like,
no, seriously, you're still here. Like, why are you even showing your face? Even though the way they look at you? You want to just disappear into the ground, right?
But then that's not enough. Now Allah is commenting on you.
From the mouth of the injured Prophet himself. Salallahu Alaihe Salam you disobeyed the easy to read assay to remember the you know, so Hodeida officialdom with an assault on Phil Emery who acetone and you disobeyed Him dirty Morocco Mata hipbone after you saw what you love, huh? Man coma you read the dunya some of you just want worldly life.
No, no, it's not like women coming up. We'll ask her and some of you want the next life.
And you start feeling this like, this was a I got slammed in this hotbar you know, you sometimes when I heard he was giving the hotbar some of you get paranoid, you know that. You're like, why is he looking at me like that? Every time he says manavi hoon. He makes eye contact?
Like every time he says hellfire, he's like, why is he looking at me like
but this is not paranoia. This is legit. You're You're the one who messed up and you're hearing this. And he says listen to this philosophical man whom Leah Talia come, then he turned you people away from them so that he could test all of you. Meaning Allah allowed them to Allah made it so that the enemy doesn't annihilate you. He turned them away, and just was continuing the test for you that he adds, well, aka the Alpha uncom. However, Allah has pardoned you
see Maya in the same way so Allah slammed them in that eye and then Allah what part of them publicly pardon them and who's the pardon coming from? It's coming from the mouth of the injured prophets of Allah who will look at the alpha and wallah who do Ferdinando meaning and Allah He possesses, he gives great favours to believers. Allah is believers believers great second chances he gives them more than what they deserve. They don't deserve that nobody in the in the crowd would think they deserve another chance. Nobody in the if there's ever a battle next time, and people are getting ready for you know gearing up, they'll be like, Why don't you stay home?
You know what? We'd like to win this time. So why don't you just, you know, watch TV TV or something.
They're not going to be given another chance. They don't belong if we're discussing something strategic and they show up. We'll talk about this later. Because those guys they messed up and they have to wear that messed up label for the rest of their lives. What did Allah do? Allah
It comes into that those feelings and by the way, they might be sitting next to someone in the prayer or in Joomla. Or they might be sitting next to someone whose family was killed because of their mistake. You realize that it's not a huge community of 1000s of people.
And they're sitting right there. Allah says, Allah Who funded Allah is a professor of grief about Allah has pardoned you but the words that are coming from Allah, they come from Allah, they don't come from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam do they? They belong to Allah. Allah even said in this in this same Surah they say like I mean I'm pretty sure you own you have no decision making authority. He tells them he tells the prophets I saw them you have no decision making authority.
You know, we have fella home, are you ready by home if he wants to forgive them or he wants to punish them because they're wrong. That's not up to you. That's what he told the prophets I said him. So these words that are coming our forgiveness, not from the messenger, they are forgiveness from Allah subhana wa Tada.
So that feels kind of good. Okay, Allah forgives me. But you know what? They're not like us.
So long as Allah forgives me, I don't care about people.
Well, I still care. He's my prophet. I love him. He's still mad at me. He's still hurt. I'm still ashamed. I can't make eye contact with him. How am I going to show him my face? And how am I going to be the next time? You know, people come up to the prophets like Selim and say, you also tell me something. I have a question. Tell me something that will benefit me. Give me something you know, and people just want to come up and have a conversation with the prophesizing if you have that much shame, you're gonna face your prophet. You're gonna come close to him. You would like if he sees me, he's just gonna get traumatized. He's gonna see me he's gonna think of all the things that happened.
I'm just gonna trigger him I better just stay away. I should shave I stay stay by the shoe section. I no longer belong in the profits company. That's the feeling okay, fine, Allah forgive me. But that's in the afterlife, but we're still in this world. Right? And it's not like Allah commanded His Prophet to forgive. So that's the feeling that now I have to live with. And the ayat go on, and they go on and they go on, and as they go on, then Allah says this. He starts talking about the death toll, because a lot of people 70 of the Sahaba died, right. He says this weather in ko Tilton feasability Allah He Omoto. Llama Farah to mean Allah He Ramadan, Ramadan, few hours later. If you
were to be killed in Allah's path, or you died, then forgiveness from Allah is better than everything else that people gather, meaning those who died, that was good for them.
You may see this as a terrible loss and you may look at your fellow companion with disgust. But in Allah's plan, those who died their mistake is their mistake. That's a separate issue. But those who died were supposed to die, and that was better for them. And if they had gathered more days in their life, that wouldn't have been better for them. When I in matomo, put into the Illallah Hitoshi route and if you were to die, or even if you got killed, you're gonna come back to Allah and be gathered anyway.
This is a temporary stop, you're heading back to Allah puts things in perspective, right. But after that is actually the IR that I want to talk to you about today. This is one of the most amazing ayat about the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam and one of the most powerful lessons in the Quran, and how to be as a leader, as a leader Rasulullah Salallahu Salam is the general and the commanding Chief, Chief commanding officer of the army. Right. He's the he's the governor of Medina. And he's the General of the Army. And he's the Messenger of Allah, and he's the head of his household. So he plays many leadership roles out of school is one of those roles, the highest one, but he plays other
roles. And each one of those roles has their own responsibilities. He SallAllahu wasallam as a father is a different role. He has a husband has a different role. You know, he has a general is a different role, you know, in the military are supposed to have some kind of a court martial situation. You're supposed to have a tribunal, you defected, or you didn't follow the core discipline. So there has to be disciplinary action, right? Well, Allah revealed what disciplinary action there is not going to be Allah has forgiven them, which means there's no disciplinary action. But now we're going to take a step further. Now Allah instead of talking to them, because the whole
time, if you study this passage, who was ALLAH talking to? He was talking to the Muslims. In this ayah 159.
He starts talking to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam. It's incredible. And this conversation is in private, it's public. It's public. Now everybody can hear that the prophet is talking. He's saying something. He's saying the ayat, but it's actually Allah not conversing with you. Allah is conversing with him directly. What does he say to the Prophet sighs? Because he said what he had to say to those who messed up. Now he's gonna turn to the leader. He's gonna say Febi Mara, Mateen min Allah He limped along. It is by an unusual act of loving and care from Allah, that you are lenient.
towards them. You're soft with them. In this moment, Allah says, Allah has done something out of his way. By the way, the Arabic here is remarkable. You say in Arabic phobia Rama tin, you don't say Furby ma Rama tin. This Maya is called masa ADA. And it adds a level of Tokyo as if to say, from some unimaginable form of Rama from Allah. And Rama is commonly translated as mercy. But I iterate all the time that Rama actually has two implications in the English language. It includes an excessive form of love, and an excessive form of care. That's why it's associated with the with the belly of a pregnant woman. Because the woman as the baby grows, has more and more love for the child
that hasn't even been born and is more and more cautious is more and more careful. Regarding the child, she won't even be in a room where they're smoking going on. You understand she's going to watch every corner of every table, because the care is in and that from that Rahim, Allah gives us the word Rama. Right? So there's a special love and care that can only have come at some divine intervention form of loving care that Allah has given to the Prophets of salaam that comes only from Allah fabby by Rama tin. May Allah like an unusual form of love and care has been injected until Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihe Salam, and how does that love and care come out, Linda home, you are
soft towards them. The word linter comes from the word lean. I took some notes on some of this etymology for you so you understand where these words come from. I say soft or gentle, but let's dig in a little bit. This is little Shuna. It's actually roughness is the opposite of roughness. So something smooth and gentle and comfortable is called Lean. In fact, in a narration yet Luna Kitab Allah Hilah Yinon Oh, linen, a silent when people recite the Quran in a smooth or gentle voice, that's called Lean and so lean is also associated not just with gentleness, or smoothness or softness, it's also associated with a mellow voice, or a calming soothing voice. So if somebody is
lean with you, lean with you, that means that they're when they talk to you, you don't feel any antagonism. You don't feel sarcasm, you know, you can say nice things like why are they como Salam, but you could say it in ways that make someone feel like they should jump off a cliff. So I'm a little while ago Salam
Alaikum salaam
you know, there are different Oracle's psychological salaam, there's, there's different your tone can change the word, right? It's not just what you're saying. It's the softness with which you say it or the roughness with which you say it. So he said and then you know what if somebody's home was really like, really comfortable, like wherever you wherever you go in the corner of the house, that is a nice place to sit, chill relaxed. You know, the the floors have cushions and the couches are really nice. Like it's a it's a crib where you can just relax and plop yourself anywhere you want. The Arabs used to say, Hey, dude, I let you know that people yell at him. They known they used to
use this phrase, man, their house is so awesome. So comfortable. Hey Luna, Luna, people yell at him. Elena No. Emile Hirsch Iota Casa de vida. It's actually a kind of pillow that you can just fall back on. Like some of you have those couches were associated with your video games like
that pillow. That's actually a meme that was also SLM is being described here with these quality, this quality, that he speaks gently, and there's no undertone, there's no aggression in the way that he speaks. And on top of that, when the believers people around them want to find comfort, who do they fall on? Who do they lean on? Literally, you can remember the pun intended lean on? Is this Lean profits like this lady in Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, by the way, this is the word that was told Allah told Musa alayhis salam to use for Federer own hula hoop Colin Lee in and speak to him softly. Speak to him gently. Don't be aggressive with him. Allah is telling the prophets I said I'm
in this moment. Now you could say you would imagine when the prophets are made hijra with the Sahaba and they sacrifice their homes, he would be appreciative of them and so kind to them and so loving to them. This is the time to say you're so lenient. When is Allah telling the prophets of salaam that he's so lenient when there's every reason to be so upset? every reason to lose your temper? What's what you know, we call results I Salam about him we say in Nicola, Allah Fallopian Aleem that he has the most high character and we want to embody his qualities. Well, if we are from the the OMA of the Rasul socialism, then something happens now I want you to use your imagination. Again, you
are one of the people who's angry. You're not the person who's ashamed. Now you're the guy who's angry. And Allah tells his prophet there's a special mercy from Allah and Allah from Allah loving care from Allah because of which you're really kind towards them and lean
and soft and gentle and comforting towards them. So they can find comfort in you. It's not to just you're nice to them, but you're a source of comfort for them. And when you hear that, that Allah says that about His Prophet, you're like, if Allah was if Allah's Messenger is a source of comfort for this guy that I'm angry at, how can I be a source of discomfort for him?
Like if I'm loyal to my messenger, and I love him so much, I have to let my temper go. I have to be lenient towards him too. Because it's been it's a top down command, isn't it? It's top down. Have you bought a home with him in Allah He limped along, but the idea doesn't end here. Whether we're going to have one of the livan lb. MS is so incredible. There's a few words in this if for meanness for being hard, or tough or rigid. There's two words I'm going to explain to you. The first word is going to be false Willow Quinta Falkland, if it was the case, Allah says to the Prophet size, and if it was the case, that you were full, and carry hold. That means actually someone who is when you're
around them, you get uncomfortable.
When you're around them, you get uncomfortable. You probably had teachers like that at school, can I talk to you for a second? And your your life flashes before your eyes? Right? You probably have a manager at work when they just entered the room, your mood goes bad, like
I know what's coming. You know, there are people in your family. There are people in your family that you're just their presence, you know, something's about to go down this E there's not going to be Mobarak.
Right, so that's actually the idea of false is actually someone that makes you uncomfortable with their presence. And you know, what it's associated with? Matt will give you know in the desert, they got lost in the desert with their camel, they can't find any water. They're running out of food, the camels about to die. The only way to save yourself from dehydration. You know what it is? It's kind of icky. But I gotta tell you, Matt was gracious. They would stab the belly and the bile that would come out from the belly, they would drink that to survive. And that's actually called thumb meaning I gotta have this what I have no choice. When you're around somebody, you got no choice but to deal
with them, but they make you so uncomfortable. That's called FELV.
That's called foul. Had you been this way? Had you been someone intimidating, terrifying, disturbing that around you. There's always discomfort. Nobody feels relaxed around you. Everybody gets this like troubled around you. Had you been like that? Meaning Allah doesn't like this quality, but he adds more. He says, you know, the lever,
lever Kahlua and Arabic actually has to do with hardness. And there's two things
I'm gonna find Killarney in his book Mattila de facto, Quran highlight the two meanings of Khalifa one uncompromising.
I said it, I said it, that's it,
you must stop. Now you're messed up for life. I don't want to hear anything about it. People that once they form an opinion, there is no going back on that opinion. That's actually the Hadith. It's extracted from a hard soil that you can't dig into. Like it's rock solid soil, you can't dig into it, that's actually called a Luva, or the bark of a tree that you can't penetrate or can't cut down, that's actually called an evil so. So the idea of someone uncompromising, rigid, that once you have been written off, you can never redeem yourself. You know, that's, that's one quality. So the first quality was, if in your presence, there was discomfort. And the second quality is if you're the kind
of person that once you made up your mind about someone, there's no going back. That's it. They're written off forever, you're uncompromising in your opinions, you can't take them back. And then the other meaning of Lila is actually to be harsh with words to actually be rude and harsh and cruel with words and you don't have to be cruel with words. Also, you can have liver in your face, you can have liver in your body language, you can just turn away from someone you can just ignore someone you can have good luck. So on the one hand was also Selim is lean. And on the other hand, if he said if your heart was like this now the last thing I'll share with you on this this note like the
warning is you're not like this but imagine this case, what was also someone was like this, what would have happened but before I go there one last thing that we need to understand about these two words, Allah added the word I'll leave alkyl he didn't say Well Oh couldn't have been livan he said no, couldn't have oven or evil cause he added the word heart. And what does that do? You know what does you could be really nice to someone sell it go, how are ya and in your heart, you hate their guts. Has it going mashallah, mashallah, I hope you fall down the stairs. That's what I'm actually saying in my heart, but
so you're like super like the lock
Masha Allah this guy is o'clock. But the inside is just brimming with hatred and judgment and discomfort. Like, that's what you are inside. Allah is telling the prophets I said, if you happen to be someone who is not just showing like he's not just swallowing his anger, and then being nice, but inside, he's really hurt still, it's not like that. He's actually he doesn't even have that hardness inside of his heart. So it doesn't come outside and it's not even hidden inside. It's inside and out. There's a gentleness in him. There's a softness in him. What's remarkable about the word lean that I didn't tell you it's used for a date
when it's soft to press, meaning it looks soft when you press it the inside is actually soft. So it was also SLM has this gentleness inside of him it's not just the posturing and the pretending and the show of gentleness it's actually on the inside Do you have people sometimes I don't know if other cultures have this we Pakistanis have it we have like your your dad is like really angry all the time. Like really angry until a guest comes over.
Like
the guest comes from Russia Hello how are you? And their kids coming up at carrots and celery and you're looking to like
was I adopted is what's what's the what's the story here? And even to you even when the guests are over there like Rita interobserver Pinilla who beta party No, where's Kota? Gotta, like, where did that go? How did we come up better all of a sudden.
So it's like when somebody else comes into the niceness, otherwise the inside is still harsh, right? So like this, this notion is being captured but the thing that fascinates me the reason I wanted to share this with you today is because this idea has one of the most strange lessons in the entire Quran.
Use your imagination again. Muscles iclm is talking this is in Medina, Ohio, it has already happened. People that have sacrificed their lives money, well family are sitting in front of him find some of the messed up but these are people that have made some incredible sacrifices. For what for Islam for the truth. They're convinced more than anyone else. Their Imam is someone where their Imam is something we're jealous of. We would want a drop of that kind of Eman. Those are the people that are sitting there. And Allah tells his messenger in public he says, well, oh Kunta van Khalifa Toby Lanford, Bowman holik had you been harsh? Had you been uncomfortable to be around? Had you been
uncompromising? Had you been mean? They would have run away from you, they would have broken away from you. They wouldn't have stayed in the OMA. They would want nothing to do with you. Allah didn't say if I didn't give you the Quran, they would have gone away. If you didn't teach them Iman they would have gone away. This is the same Surah that later on is going to say yet Lu either he Marathi he will use a key Hema yo Ali Mohammed Al Kitab will hikma he reads the IRT purifies the Mi teaches them the book, he teaches them wisdom. The teaching is all there. The teaching is all there. The one thing that's missing is you're no longer soft. Had you not been soft had you been rigid like this?
The even the Sahaba the highest of Eman the most convinced of the people they would have shattered away from you.
And I keep translating shattered away broken away runaway let's dig into this word Len Fabella Lindsey Boyd and Matt will add them actually they say it for Sweetwater when it goes through a process and the salt is permanently removed from that water as if they would have permanently been removed from you. You won't bring it back again. It's used for a rocks that collapse that break and splatter. It's used for glass that shatters when a glass shatters, you can't put its pieces back together. They use it for further to harden on a letter. You know the ancient letters that used to have a seal. We like a wax seal, right? If you break that seal, you can't put it back together. It's
permanently broken. That's called enfilade. In other words, they wouldn't just just have dispersed, they would have been gone forever. They would have been broken up forever. By the way, when something breaks apart. Right? It's the opposite of unity, right? It's the opposite of unity. This same Surah early on what that Allah say. Allah says for us back Don't be there and mighty here. Juana, you became brothers by Allah's favor. By Allah's favorite, you became brothers and Now Allah is saying to the prophesy Salam you as a leader, if you had harshness and toughness and uncompromising qualities inside of you, they would have broken a broken apart from you, and those
are the Sahaba and they love the prophesy, Salam and even then Allah is saying they would have run away from you. Now before I go any further because the is not done before I go any further. Let's take a pause and understand what that means for you and me.
This is what's also salams role guidance from Allah as a lead
under this, this is guidance as a leader, I'm the leader of my household.
You're the leader of your household. Maybe you're the leader in your company, maybe you're the manager, maybe you're the owner.
Maybe you're the leader in your community, maybe you're an imam. Maybe you're someone who leads the prayer. Leadership comes in all forms, all shapes and sizes. And you know what, sometimes just because of the way you treat someone in your family, just because of the way you've been talking to your son, for all these years, he the moment he gets a job of his own the moment he graduates, he's on a flight he never calls back. I never want anything to do with you. Where did that come from? If even though Rasool is being told sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, well, I couldn't afford varietal, called beeline for domain, how late then, how do you think you and I are going to be an exception?
We have to develop a softness, especially for those who disappoint us. Especially who those who make us mad. especially to those who have caused us hurt. These are people who caused the profits I'm hurt. And he has to be this way to them. i This is like, the most powerful lesson in leadership. So fine, okay, fine. I'll be soft towards them. But what does it look like when you're soft towards someone? Who you who's hurt you? What does that look like? One I am contains the whole thing the same I am five, four and home, then lovingly forgive them. Love is you know Mo Farah is to cover somebody's mistake. Awful has an element of hoping and lovingly forgive them, meaning, give them a
hug. It's okay. It's done. I don't hold it against you. I want you to know I still love you. I still care for you. Don't feel bad anymore. I'm not going to bring it up anymore. You're not going to bring it up anymore. And stop carrying it inside your heart. Stop living with that guilt. I don't want that for you. I just want you to know that I love you just the same way Oh, that's not easy to do. That's a leader.
That's a leader.
Because you know if you don't do that, that's a hobby you will carry that shame for the rest of his life. To carry that he'll feel it every time. He won't be able to walk by you know, just seeing the mountain of art he'll get triggered about how much he messed up.
He you have to help him redeem himself. Shaitan wants him to stay in his mistake to be drowned in his mistake. And Allah's Messenger socialism as a leader is being told Farfan home
that's not enough.
That's not enough. That's step one. Step two was still fitting the home now pray for their forgiveness.
Okay, so once you gave them a hug, and you forgive them and you made them feel loved, that's step one. Now make dua for them to ALLAH forgive them but not in public. Yeah, Allah may Allah forgive you.
After everything you've done, may Allah forgive you.
That's not how you ask someone's forgiveness. When you're on your own when you're praying and when I'm praying for myself, when I'm begging Allah for things that I want in my life in that moment, as a leader, I'm going to make dua for the one who caused me hurt the one who disappointed me because Allah put them under my care. Like it or not, they're my flock. I'm who's gonna pray for them, if not me, and I'm gonna pray for them and not throw it in their face. By the way, I even made dua for you.
You don't deserve it, but still, because Allah said
ask Allah to forgive them. Okay, that was two steps. But there's a final step. And this is maybe the hardest step. And maybe the first two steps will give you the real softness in your heart to be able to take the third step. And that third step is what shall we at home Phil Emery,
take their opinions when you're about to make a decision
will take their opinion. So Allah, Can I remind you that one like he was like the first one to come down the mountain. Before we ask him for his strategic opinion, I think we should reconsider.
What's your opinion
as if to say I know you've learned your lesson, and it doesn't erase all the good you have to offer. I haven't reduced you to your mistake. I still value you. I still love you and loving you is not enough. Forgiving you is not enough. I value you.
You could tell somebody I love you. I love you. I love you. Yeah, but you don't value me.
My whole How do you How does someone feel valued? They can only feel valued when their opinion has value. When you actually take their opinion. When you consult them and you're making a serious decision. That's when their opinion that's when they feel valued as a leader and you're not doing also salary is not doing this like artificially. You know how people
Say, We value your opinion. Thank you.
You know what that means? Now you got to talk. Now you can get going. Right? Please put your opinion in the suggestion box. So because we have a shredder that's been hungry for a while.
That's this is not artificial. None of this is artificial. It's not listening to someone's opinion for the sake of listening to their opinion, not for the formality of making them feel heard, Oh, they got a filter. This is what politicians do. By the way, we're gonna have a town hall, right and somebody that you use you to do. I understand how you're feeling. I get what you're feeling. And I feel pain too. And it's gonna run around in circles and get out of there. They don't feel anything. It's just, it's just a PR stunt. Right? It's asking someone's opinion, for artificial reasons. Allah is commanding his messenger in this is Allah Allahu alayhi. Salam, again, use your imagination to
feel the power of this idea. The one sitting there shamed, ALLAH is talking about that guy, and Allah is telling His Prophet, make sure you make him feel valued. And the next time there's a serious decision about to be made. Make sure you take his opinion to
make sure he's heard. Because you know what, he's not even gonna want to open his mouth. He's gonna be like, nobody wants to hear from me. I know, I should just shut up. No, no, why don't you tell me what you think? Me. He still cares about me. He still values me.
making someone feel valued, is actually the first step in that as a leader is making someone feel heard, consulted. That's actually the quality of a leader. Wish I would have a nominee. So now you've and by the way, 1000 people means how many opinions
1000 opinions.
And if there's 1000 opinions, you can't get anything done.
Because if I listen to your opinion, and then I listen to your opinion, your opinion. In the end, I have to follow some I have to make some decision, right? And if I make a decision, 999 people will say he doesn't listen to me.
Then you listen to this guy and the other 999 See, he doesn't listen to me.
I know he's a dictator. He doesn't care.
Right? The problem with leadership is you can't possibly follow every opinion. It's impossible. Which means congratulations. If you're a leader, someone is always angry with you.
Always, if you're the head of your household, somebody's upset. If your wife is happy, your mom's probably upset. If your mom's happy. Your wife is probably upset. If the oldest child is happy, the younger ones probably upset if the younger ones happy. The older ones probably upset, oh my God.
Then you decide you know what I got a solution. I'll just make everybody upset.
As a democracy, though, you know you happy I don't listen to anybody. Because I'm tired of just listening to one and somebody else isn't happy and somebody else isn't happy. You just check out.
But Allah give us solution for that too. He didn't leave this IO without guidance for suicide celeb as a leader is the is not done. He said for either as Anta when finally you have reached a decision, and you've made a decision based on looking at all the evidence, hearing all the opinions. Obviously, you have an opinion too. As a leader, you're a human to write. And after weighing everything after consulting everyone, you were put in this position because you have to take an opinion. You have to finally go and move forward. When you have to move forward. You have to do what fatawa can Allah now trust in Allah? Don't trust in your opinion, trust in Allah.
Because even after discussion and consultation and the opinions, it doesn't mean the right choice was made. Because in the end, a decision is just a human effort. That's all it is. It's never going to be perfect. So even after we've made a decision, what do we have to do fatawa colada, Allah then just place your trust in Allah. And Allah you humbled whatever killing Allah loves those who place their trust in him. I am as a leader, I'm not supposed to be in love with my opinion.
I'm not supposed to be I stand by it. That's what I said. I've decided who do you think the abuser is? Who do you think the Imam is? Who do you think the leader is? Who do you think like don't show people their place? Because even was suicidal and was told, if anyone can show people their place, it should be able to sue Allah.
And Allah in another place in the Quran, he says about a suicide salami says allow you to configure theta mineral umbrella and you should know the Messenger of Allah is among you if he started following you. In most things, all of you will be harmed.
Because when the messenger has an opinion, sallallahu alayhi salam, that opinion comes from the skies.
It's not just a human opinion, but the Envy
I remember that the Prophet created social and the instruction Allah gave to His Messenger, even though he is he gets way what does that mean Allah sending coming down from Allah, even now he's being commanded, make sure people feel valued, make sure people feel heard. But in the end, you do have to make a decision. And when you do make a decision, that doesn't mean if my if I gave my leader an opinion, if I give my dad an opinion, and he didn't follow my opinion, he went a different way. I should not feel unvalued
I shouldn't.
I should only feel unvalued if he's harsh, dismissive. Right? Because otherwise, why is he a leader? You just you want a puppet? But just just whatever you want him to do, then why is he there anyway? Why don't you just take over?
Right? He's going to have to make a choice. And sometimes that choice is not going to be something I like. But the fact that he makes me feel heard. The fact that he disagrees with me and then explains his disagreement. And then he makes a resolve decision, then he's placed in trust is trust in Allah, I have to place my trust in Allah to I'll leave you with this example.
How many Rakhine Maghrib.
Three was quiz, question, three.
Okay, the mom gets up instead of sitting and the third guy, he gets up for a fourth to the car.
Okay, they might imagine the mom does that. What you're going to do,
Allah and His Messenger have revealed have shown us that we only criteria, I will disobey this Imam, I'm going to stay sitting.
What are you gonna do?
You're gonna get up with the Imam. And you're going to point out that there's something wrong.
And then he's going to correct his mistake. And you're going to follow along. In this in the mechanism of Salah itself. Allah has taught us how how leaders and followers operate, how leaders, even a leader can make a mistake, when they make a mistake, that doesn't mean you break the structure doesn't mean to break the family, you pointed out and you keep moving, you pointed out your course correct. SubhanAllah. And what a remarkable relationship where the followers pointed it out, and the leader took note of it and make corrections accordingly. Right. So in that institution itself, how families are supposed to be organized, how communities are supposed to be organized, how
leaders and followers are supposed to operate, all of that is embedded inside SubhanAllah. This one is so this is item number 159 has so much to offer. So much to offer. But at the end, all I will say that I want to conclude with is that Allah is teaching us in this ayah that the thing holding the OMA together as softness
is actually gentleness. And that's coming from Rasulullah Salallahu Salam inspired by his gentleness that Allah gave him May Allah azza wa jal truly commit us to his sunnah and not just artificially have that gentleness but to truly become brothers to one another and to carry that gentleness into our families and into any position of leadership that Allah may have given us. BarakAllahu li Walakum Al Quran Al Hakim whenever anyone can build it what the game was salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
Salat All right okay
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