Nouman Ali Khan – 7. Wasting Time

			Hey Mina Schaffer on you're watching this may help wash man you're watching
		

			us let me know. And levena home fees for the tea him harsh
		

			when levena humani love way more or the boon when Edina homeless zeca Tifa
		

			when the NA homely Fuji him have a boon in
		

			him a woman, a man whom
		

			a man who mean
		

			many veto,
		

			he can do
		

			rubbish, everywhere silly Emily doesn't mean discerning of Coco Lee
		

			Allahumma sabbatarians and motiva ilaha illallah wa salatu salam and also a lesson
		

			from article mercato. Yesterday we spoke about the first two shots of me knowing how to be known and
Medina, Humphrey samata him.
		

			Today, we're going to be going as far as we can, hopefully, with the rest of the passage beginning
with one levena home and luckily more on the phone.
		

			And those of you that have a particular interest in the Arabic language, there's some interesting
nuances within this ayah in Joomla, is Mia you have the concept of mocha and you have covered and
you have metallic sub three components of a sentence in Arabic, and the standard sequence is mocha
and then hover and then Matan, what would that imply is when levina home morally buena, Annie
lovely, that's the standard order of a sentence. But Allah subhana wa, tada shuffles this sentence,
and he puts on in lovely first. So the way it should be translated because of the shuffle. I
mentioning all of this because there's an impact on how we understand the meaning of the ayah.
		

			Typically, it's translated those who refrain from vain for, you know, activities in vain or speech
that is vain, that is useless. But it actually implies those who especially in regards to unlovable,
which means useless activity or speech, we're going to talk about that a little bit more, especially
in regards to it, they ignore it, they stay away from it, they, you know, take special precaution to
rid themselves of situations that involve a level. So what is a level, a level in the Arabic
language, it refers to something that doesn't have any benefit? In the religious sense, it refers to
something that has no benefit in your deen and has no benefit in your dunya. Like, you know, you go
		

			to work. Perhaps it's not a religious experience, but it's not local, because it has some benefit.
You're there for a purpose. You go to school, there's a purpose, right? You're playing sports, at
least there's some health benefits, there's something there. But when you engage in activities that
have no benefit in your worldly life, and have no benefit in the Hereafter, so first and foremost in
forms of speech. And secondly, in forms of any other activity, this would be under and level. So the
true believer is defined as someone who first of all focuses and is humbled and overpowered in their
summer. And second, that they have this characteristic of being almost allergic, you could say, to
		

			any situation of unknown now, practically, what that means is for you and me a lot of times, we
don't we can't even read, we don't even realize that we're engaging in such activity. Small Talk
unnecessary, you know, just cracking jokes here and there now making a joke here and there is okay.
But if you're spending a half hour talking about just nothing, just hanging out, chillin, right.
Now, you could argue, well, I'm not doing anything Haram, I'm just hanging out with my friends. And
we're just going out for some sandwiches. But we're, you know, that whole entire trip. And that
whole entire hangout session has no benefit in Dino dunya, except the food, then this was level. So
		

			you even use that opportunity to be among friends to spend time with each other to actually refrain
from, you know, wasteful speech, speech that has no benefit whatsoever. You know, a lot of times,
people are involved in different industries. Like, for example, there are people that are all
programmers, and they all they kind of naturally tend to have programmer friends. And accountants
have accountant, friends, because they're all in the same industry. Doctors have medical student
friends, right? And it happens business people have business friends, and it just, you know, be
formed these professional acquaintances. And what happens is when you're sitting together and lunch
		

			break, what are you talking about? If you're a techie, they're talking about the new software
release that just came out, or the new version of what language just came out or you know, how the
standards are changing and the protocols and you got the job market is hot over there and soft over
here and stuff like that. Right. That's your entire half hour spent.
		

			Talking about that, if you're among friends, you're into video games or something, and I'm guilty of
this too, I'm going to use that, you know, you're talking to him about, you know, what new game came
out. And man, it wasn't any good. And the ending was boring, and bla bla bla, you know, you just
spent, you could spend endless amounts of hours, just talking about this stuff. And now some halala
shavon has worked hard and produce new activities, new opportunities for us to engage in level by
means of online role playing games. And, you know, all of these, you know, literally, you could sit
behind a screen for hours in your virtual life, where you're known as, you know, something Muslim x
		

			five or something, and you're writing a spaceship, you know, building your empire on some planet,
and you're just you're in it for like, hours and hours, and you have no idea what's going on in the
real world. Right. And this is happening, this is very, very real youth are involved in this kind of
stuff all the time. And now there's, you know, other opportunities for levels like Facebook, or
MySpace, my goodness, I got onto Facebook about a month ago, in order to get in touch with some
friends, and to promote some Arabic classes and things like that online. I get on not two minutes
after signing on people, I have no idea men and women, I get emails, full and full on wants to be
		

			your friend on Facebook, I don't want to be your friend on Facebook, I don't want you to
		

			leave me alone. But you know, teenagers are on these things with different screen names, not their
real names. And they're on there. And they have these double lives where they're getting to meet
boys and girls, and all kinds of crazy stuff is going on in the Muslim living room in their bedroom.
Because the computer sitting there, so we've given them opportunities for a level, we've given them
such opportunities. So one has to really, if you want to practically tackle this issue, you know, we
don't talk about the Quran in a vacuum. When they say the believer stays away from a level, we have
to address what are the forms of the attacks of shaitaan by which he indulges the believer in
		

			wasting their time in our times? What are his attacks, if we don't understand these attacks, we can
defend against them. So what are the attacks in our times? It's the profuse use of the Internet is
the addiction. The YouTube was the top video today. Right? What came out? And then you know, there's
there's this addiction to television of TV series. Oh my god, what's gonna happen in the next
episode? You know, and you can't wait, and you're discussing it with your co workers because it's
the season finale, or the season premiere or something. It's ridiculous. I mean, this culture has
been, it's been so exaggerated. You know, a few years, maybe 10 years ago, it was about sports
		

			playoffs and things like that. That used to be a big deal in media culture. Nowadays, you know, when
I was way back, I mean, four or five years ago, when I was in corporate, you know, people used to
watch I think it was survivor, and my coworkers, all non Muslims. That's all that's all they could
talk about. Man. Did you see survivor last night? I was like, man, no, I got stuck in traffic, I
can't believe it. Did you record it for me, this is their whole life is you know, these shows and
these entertainment forums, and they just addicted to them, their entire lives are spent around
them. And then it's incredible, because there's such zombies, Muslims fall into this trap to become
		

			such zombies, then we end up buying their t shirts, and you know, their paraphernalia, and the
action figures. And you know, our kids want their video games, you know, spider man came out, you
want to get a spider man video game, and then Spider Man action figure and a spider man t shirt. And
you know, it just keeps going and going and going right? But this is this entire web of a trap that
we've put our youth into where does it all begin though? What's the root of it, the root of it is a
careless exposure to media. That's what the root of it is, in our times. And our times, most of the
evil that our kids and ourselves are exposed to, is not because we go out to a club, because we
		

			don't have to, because watch a club sitting at home. Right? We it's not that we go out, you know, to
these special places, or we go hang out in these promiscuous places, we don't need to, because all
of that is virtually available. Right? So it's really the careless, the careless use of media inside
the home. And especially for parents, we have to be extra extra careful what our kids watch how much
they watch what they're exposed to, we don't even know I mean, a lot of the stuff I mean, these the
two things are connected together. So I mentioned them together allow the Vex to is also when the
VENA homeless, the cats are known. And when the VENA homeless regime has zero connected things, one
		

			leads to the other. Another who is a waste of time. The believer knows Time's running out when
actually in that incentive left, because the most precious asset You and I have is our time. And so
if we start wasting our time, that's a proof that something's wrong with our event. We don't realize
the value of this time. You know, if you were taking an exam The next day, there's a final exam for
your last class before graduation. And if you've missed this exam, or you mess up on this exam,
you're going to be set you know you're going to be delayed for another year or something. And that
the night before our hour an hour before you're sitting there watching you know movies or playing a
		

			video game, you'd have to be crazy. You must not care about your exam, right? Because
		

			is a sense of urgency, you're not going to see a serious student do that you're going to see them
working hard. If you've got a new job and your boss gave you a deadline for a project, and you're
two, three hours away before submitting it, you're going to spend the entire night in the office
because it's work, you got to do it. It's important, there's a deadline. Similarly, Allah subhana wa
Tada, he gave us certain things we have to do within a deadline. But the crazy thing is a lot didn't
tell you and me what my deadline is and what your deadline is, that deadline is death, but of luck
to the secrets of Katana. So we're constantly in a state of emergency, to acquire more and more good
		

			and to get away from more and more evil, right. And this sense of urgency can be lost, and you can
retain it by retaining a relationship with Alright, so this is you know, if you don't have that
sense of urgency, then you've got time, you got time to kill, you can hang out and do whatever. And
I'm not saying you have to shut down your life and being depression all the time worried about
Hellfire, because the believer had Allen's right there's hope and there's fear. But at the same time
we've become way too lacks where the extreme on the left side, we're wasting way too much time in
our lives, not paying attention to where it's going. So what what does he know? And he loves me more
		

			on his own. Then he says, well, Nadine only satisfied with and also the construction of this either
way it's formulated is beautiful. It covers two things at the same time. As you all know, even if
you don't know the rest of the ayah you heard the word Zika. Right. So you obviously got the sense,
these are the people that take care of their Zika but you know, there's a fear that goes with Zika
usually in the foreign which is are you tuna when levena homeless Ducati or as the Kathy you know,
you don't even need the lamb there anymore. Okay, because it's because serves as mfold v. here,
Allah uses the hashtag lamb, Lisa, Kathy. And instead of saying what he says by noon, which tells us
		

			two things, they're actively engaged in the purification of their wealth, which is one implication
because still is the guy's universal term, but also is the kind of generic sense. What does that
mean? It means publication. So they are actively involved towards purification, they have a goal to
purify themselves, and they're actively involved in it. And there's another nuance in this and it's
very beautiful. You know, the word, the Islam, or announced simply speaking in English, a noun is
stronger than a verb. You know, a verb is like he did, right? And the noun is like the dewart.
Right? Or he worked is a verb. And the worker is a noun, which one is more permanent? A worker is
		

			always a worker, right? But if he worked, that's in the past tense, that status is fairly guaranteed
for the present tense, right? allies origin sometimes uses the nominal form, the noun form, the
issue form, sometimes uses the fitted form. And when he uses the ISM form, it denotes permanence. So
what he's saying by using the word 31, instead of Yes, I don't, is that they're constantly engaged
in attempts to purify themselves. And then also, there's another nuance here, because there are two
words for working for doing things to do action. There is, you know, I'm an army Loon. And there's
fire. There's Ahmed and there's fear. And both of them are translated as action. Okay? Yes, I do. He
		

			does. Yamato he does. Or he works either way. So what's the difference between them? See, Alan is
something you think about it, and then you do it. And a fear is something that comes to you. So
naturally, it's like second nature, like breathing is a fairly, it's not uncommon, it is a feeling
because you like to think about it, just do it. When you take one step after another one, you're
walking, this is a fin mushiya is a fin. Why? Because you don't have to process it, should I put the
left hand foot first the right foot? You know, you don't have to think about that. So the act of
seeing the act of hearing that come to us naturally, effortlessly. These are. So what is the lesson
		

			about the true believer, their efforts to purify themselves come to them naturally, it's not
something they're uncomfortable with. It's part of their daily routine, almost like breathing. And
what it also implies is the one day they miss out on their routine, they feel uncomfortable, like
something's missing, you know, the acts that they do they these acts of purification come to them.
So naturally, when they're not engaged in them, they're uncomfortable. So what are these acts, these
proactive behaviors that make us purified? The easiest ones that you could start off with is good
company. And of course, you're not going to find good company anywhere in our times, except that the
		

			machine, the fortunate few that are that are concerned with good company will all be together at the
machine. And I dare to say it's not going to be the MSM, sorry. Okay. It's going to be the MSA in
some limited respect, but if you know what's happening at the MSA nowadays, then you know what I'm
talking about. And if you don't know what the MSA is Al Hamdulillah. Okay, so, you know, there's
good there, but there's still a lot of fitna out there, right. It's a lot of kids go to the MSA as a
as a resource. They're gonna learn something about their Deen but it's kind of the Deaf leading the
blind sometimes it's problematic. The safe haven for the Muslim is the mustard. That's the divine
		

			institution that Allah subhanaw taala granted this on. So that's the first thing you want to remain
pure
		

			Staying the company of those that will better you Guna Masada Tina was what Allah said, then the
other thing you can do is you have to become a people a person of victory, meaning you have a daily
regimen of you're going to recite certain amount of Quran, you're going to, you're going to make
certain a scar from the Sunnah of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you're going to make
the door before you enter the house, and you leave the house and you go into the bathroom, and you
come out of the bathroom, and you put your clothes on, and you, you know, all of these different
gods that the messenger made still alive. So these are not extras, they're really important in
		

			keeping us pure, because they keep a last thought I was meant remembrance conscious in our minds,
right. So the first was good company. And the second is to memorize the importance of God. And also
included in that as at least a daily, you know, segment of recitation of Quran that has to be part
of our routine. Now, this is the starting point, then you can only graduate and advanced from here,
but don't think too high yet at least establish these goals. And then we'll worry about more, right?
A lot of times what happens is we set our goals on the 20th floor, and we you know, we haven't even
entered the building yet. Right? So it's kind of problematic. So set yourself some simple goals. You
		

			know, don't recite this had three years of cron a day, you know, I'm not asking you for that. Start
small, even a page 10 minutes, five minutes, something starts somewhere, you know, don't set goals
too high. You know what I'm gonna do this thing, and you recite one day, you're sitting there 40
minutes reciting Quran and you're not used to it, guess what, the next day, you're not going to do
it, because you're not used to it, you're burnt out the first day, you don't want that, you know,
the best of the deeds are the ones that are continuous, that have continuity. And so take it easy on
yourself and build it slowly in shot locked on a part of this also, that I would highly recommend
		

			just to build a love and affection for Quran is on a daily basis, Muslims have to try and memorize
at least an ayah Quran. And if you take it very lightly, like after five to 1015 minutes that you
can take on and just memorize just one idea or a year if you're commuting on the train, that's even
easier. Driving is kind of hard. They do have some studies that repeat the if I'm sure you can make
the mp3 You're pretty tech savvy, right with the auto repeated and you can kind of listen to them
over and over again. But if you're if you're commuting on the train, especially then just keep the
Quran with you, or at least keep it just with you. And you're just reading an ayah 1015 times the
		

			same over and over again, before you get to work, you know, the ayah by heart. And you come back and
you do that now, you know two is my heart today. And within a month, you know a whole Joseph Ron. I
mean, it's pretty remarkable. But that's what happens. If you make a routine out of it. You're not
doing anything else with that time except snoozing. So might as well use it for that. By the way,
don't try to do that while you're driving. I've seen some people do that. And if I don't recommend
it,
		

			it doesn't make you more religious. Okay. Let's just clarify that anyway. So what is a catify?
Alone? Well, Edina home Li Fuji him half even. And they are the ones that in regards to their
privates, they guard them. And you know Allah subhanho wa Taala could have put this ayah in more
subtle terms, he hired him. Right? The law could have said in regards to their shame, they guard
their shame. He didn't say that he went straight at the subject at the heart of the subject and
said, he said they guard their private parts. It's a very graphic ayah. And why is it like that,
because the subject has to be taken head on, you have to understand the the seriousness of this
		

			subject, including myself, and how easy this attack of shavonne can infiltrate and destroy the man
of a believer. You see, the shaitaan is not concerned that the guy that's dancing the way at the
club or drinking away at the bar, or taking some shots of drugs, that he's going to end up doing
something shameless. He's not worried about them, because they're already on track. He's worried
about the loose ends, the sales that he hasn't made yet. Those are the believers. That's what he's
concerned with. So the more a believer tries to purify himself, the more he or she will find that
the opportunities to engage in shamelessness are throwing themselves at him, throwing themselves at
		

			him, women out of nowhere will come up to you and say hi, how are you? Out of nowhere and you know,
you have a beard and you're trying to look unattractive? You know how to save yourself in society.
But you know, shaitaan will come to these women and say, Hey, by the way, I've got one of my
prospects here, why don't you go say hello or smile at them. You know, when you when you serve them
at the counter, just give them an extra smile. Right? Or make small talk or something, they will try
to mess with you, the shell team will try to mess with you by means of other things. Right? And you
know, this is something you have to be extra extra careful of. Because the easiest thing for you to
		

			lose is your sensitivity to shamelessness in a society where shamelessness is as common as the air
we breathe. It's just part of the culture. Women barely dressed at the grocery store, just get used
to it. You know, the first thing you come from Saudi or Pakistan or some religious village in Egypt,
and you come here the first few months you're like suffered a loss of luster philosophy. And you get
to know the pavement really well because you don't look anywhere else right. You know
		

			rickrack that comes your way. But after a while you kinda you know, it's life. What are you going to
do? You know, I came, you know, I, my early schooling was in Saudi all boys school, all male
teachers, and you know, and I come here and my parents, may Allah reward them, they put me in high
school, right public high school in Queens. So I go into queens, and I walk into the classroom, and
there's men and these girls are barely dressed. I'm completely embarrassed. I mean, I'm my faces,
right? I don't know what to do. Maybe I'm in the wrong place or something. Right. And those first
few months were insane. For me, I wouldn't even touch the railings to go up the stairs. Because not
		

			just people have touched them. You know, these people?
		

			Just so, you know, but you know, what happens over time? Oh, that's the big deal.
		

			You know, that's just life. What are you gonna do? How long are you gonna fight it? So you have this
culture shock, and eventually you get over it and it becomes part of the norm. That's exactly what
we don't want. That's not what we want. Because as soon as the, as soon as the believer becomes, you
know, desensitized, to evil to fascia, then his mind is in trouble. And her mind is in trouble. You
know, are nowadays an example of that? You know, kids will say, we're going to go see this movie.
It's only pG 13.
		

			Or it only has one bad scene.
		

			And we're renting a movie. It's got a bad scene. Yeah, but we're gonna forward the part.
		

			Right? No, really.
		

			And any of the parents say, Oh, yeah, just pG 13. Yeah, some sexual content. That's not a lot of
sexual. Sexual. I'm saying this explicitly. Because this is the reality. Our kids are going to watch
these things. And the parents are endorsing them, they're okay with it. Now, the new thing that's
come out is, you don't lie. I heard this in our own Sunday school. And this is not the exception.
This is the norm. You know, kids around the country, they don't talk to the Muslim leaders, their
teachers, their peers, they talk to each other, so you have to spy on them a little bit. So I had
this habit of spying on kids, you know. And so I'd be around the back and the kids are talking, my
		

			mom, let me buy a game that's nc 17.
		

			Man, it's awesome, because he's cursing and everything. And they're really proud of it too. Right.
And they got it for AIDS. So panela are celebrating the, you know, the obedience to allow with
fascia and disobedience. So we have to, you know, this is serious, serious stuff. Once you are
desensitized to what you see on the screen, then you have the only logical next step is you will not
lower your eyes when you're walking down the street. And the logical next step is you're going to
try to do what the people on the screen do.
		

			Right? And it's just one step after another. And it's just a downward spiral. So how do you counter
this culture? How do you fight this thing? You fight this thing? First of all, by taking probably
the most difficult step you will in your in your adult life, is to cut TV off. This is very
difficult step aside, I can I can tell you if you're used to it, it's not easy, right? But we as
Muslim families, for the sake of our children, and our own dignity as Muslims, we have to do it, we
have to cut TV out, if you want the news, gonna go to the.com. Right and avoid the banner ads even
there. But you know, there's ways of getting the news, there's still the radio 100 is still in
		

			place. And it still tells you the news, right? You can get in the excuses that I used to get a few
years ago before, you know, the media on the web spread like that, like the way it did used to be
well, how are we going to get the news, if you know that, you know, we need to listen to CNN and
Fox, you don't need to listen to CNN Fox. But even if that's your excuse that excuses that now
because better media outlets for the news and information are available online, probably you get
more reliable information online than you do on television. Right. So you know, get rid of those
excuses and clean up your house. Don't get your children and portable video, iPod, don't get them a
		

			video iPod, because you don't know what they can put on there. They can put stuff on there and hide
it in folders you don't even know exist. They're very smart. They can name a directory like you
know, root or system or, you know, they'll name it something creatively. This is just, you know,
information files. And it's in there. You have to understand our kids are very, very smart, they're
sharp, and they're on top of technology, the latest means so you have to you know, watch out for
this new statistics out about these video players that you know that children are bringing to
schools and yet they're getting confiscated and being looked at and most of them have * in
		

			them with children elementary school, but this is serious business. This is not a joke, and this is
not the children of the kofod alone. Don't think like that. Don't think that your joy comes from a
Muslim family. Our kids don't do those things. Please, let's everybody wake up. Okay, if the
children of Yakuza alayhis salam can get to the point of being willing to kill their brother, who
are children of a prophet
		

			grandchildren of a prophet, and great grandchildren of a prophet. They are sons of Yaqoob, grandsons
of who is Huck, an excellent great grandsons of who, and for him and his son, if they can't argue,
		

			they come from a good family, they wouldn't do anything bad. Because he doesn't have that argument.
righteousness is not inherited in bloodlines. And if they're, if they can do something bad, none of
our families are pure enough, because they're three generations of profits. Right, you can see over
from this family, or that family or last name is this. And we brought the pure bottle bloodlines
here. So our children are free of these temptations. They have these temptations, and we have to
make sure that they fight them. And this is also if it's not a concern for yourself, it will not
trickle down to your children, you have to have that concern yourself. A lot of times I've seen the
		

			hypocrisy than the fact inside the household. Parents are watching something the kids caused me to
leave the room. This is not for you. This is not for little kids, it's for us to watch this stuff.
You know. And the kids they talk, you befriend them, they talk Yeah, my mom watches. And when my dad
watches these movies, you know, there's a lot of singing and dancing in it. But I just hear about
it, because they don't let me watch it.
		

			You know what I know all the songs by heart. Because I've heard them so many times. And this is the
hypocrisy inside the house of the Muslim. It's insane. So we have to understand this is serious
stuff. And it will have very, very negative consequences later on. It's bad enough for our Deen, but
it will ruin your dunya. And let me tell you some horror stories. I'm not going to name anybody
specific or tell you any specific story. But it's happened to me more than a dozen times that
parents have come up to me when I've given a talk like this and said, can you talk to my teenage
son? Can you talk to my daughter, she's got some problems. She's not listening to me anymore. And I
		

			think they've got She's got some boy problems or some girl problems, right. And you know why that
happened? Because now that they're teenagers, and they're independent, it's too late, the ship has
already sailed. When they were under your missed you didn't care, you were putting the extra hours
in at work. So you can put the downpayment in for the house. And the wife was also doing some work
somewhere else. So that baby the cable TV was babysitting the child. And now that they have the
power to act out what they've been watching all along there, Shere Khan TV has been doing that all
along, and now they're acting it out. Now you're surprised? Don't be surprised. They're just doing
		

			the plead of what they you know, that does they've been getting every day. That's what it is. It's
not it's not a surprise, how could they do this to me? How could you do this to them? They didn't do
this to you, you did this to them. You programmed programmed them this way. Just because we have
Muslim names, if we are part of the same exact culture that everybody else is a part of the outcome
is going to be the same. Right, we have to change the environment within the homes and how our
children are taking in media. So this is, you know, very important thing in channel title for all of
us, when the vino home the Fujian hospital. Again, I want to leave this with a few pieces of
		

			practical advice, please do not put a computer in your child's room, if you want to put a computer,
put it in the kitchen, put it in the living room, don't face it against the wall, face it against
the outside. So anybody walks in can see what's going on in the screen. Right? Do not make sure make
sure you check the histories and make have software that can recover the internet histories on your
browsers. So you can find out if your child has a Facebook account or a MySpace account, and what
their you know, username is because they will have other usernames, and you don't even know your
children are living double lives. And they are, believe me, there's a lot going on out there. You
		

			know, and you will find it and you'll be shocked. How can this be, but you have to you have to get
involved in your children's life. And the final piece of advice, don't freak out.
		

			Because we come from a culture when our children disappoint us in the least bit. When we say How
could you do this, to me, you're a disappointment. You know, we come from a culture where the child
gets an 88 on the exam. And he's so proud of himself. And he comes to the Father says Dad, I got an
idea. Okay, next time.
		

			And you get an idea. Why didn't you get 100? What's the matter with you? Right? There's always you
could have done more, there's no appreciation of our children, right? And so when something like
this, you find out your boy was, you know, your son comes to you one day and says, you know that
this girl asked me to go to the prom.
		

			I just comes to you not knowing what your reaction is going to be for a kid when he asked the wrong
question. Then you ask, Well, what is probability? And
		

			then you tell him, then the child tells him what the problem is. And my goodness, you know, it's
like his, you know, extra hair fell off the head and he's screaming, we brought you to America for
this. And you give them a beating and you yell at him and you tell the mother and the you know, all
kinds of craziness inside the house. This child will swear to himself that if next time there is a
girl talking to him, or anything like that, the last person he will ever tell is who you are. The
mother, the sister, the brother, he will not tell you. Who will he tell his non Muslim friends that
will say yeah, that's awesome, man. Go for it. That's what he's going to tell. So you have to learn
		

			to take it and be able to
		

			To deal with it, you cannot deal with it. If you freak out, because that would have worked in
Pakistan, maybe it would have worked in Bangladesh, it would have worked somewhere else, it's not
going to work here, it is not going to work here, your children will simply shut you out, there will
be someone outside and someone else when they walk inside those doors, they'll just be somewhere
else. I can tell you this from personal experience. Well, I've seen this many, many times, children
are totally different. Totally different people, like you wouldn't recognize them. When they are at
school, when they are on campus, as opposed to when they're at home, completely unrecognizable. And
		

			the parents will have no idea. They're completely oblivious, because all they care about is a report
card, the report cards good, everything else is good. Let me get you this, let me get you let me get
you a cell phone of your own. And I'm not going to check your phone history. Nor will I receive your
bill and go through all the phone numbers, who's been calling you. I don't need to do that. Because
you know, it's a good book in grades. You know, boys with good grades and girls with good grades in
this society, Muslim society have drinking problems and drug problems, have boyfriend girlfriend
problems. And that's the reality. So let's wake up to it. Right? We have to face these things when
		

			the VENA Khomeini, Fujian hospital has to become a movement within the Muslim community. We have to
gather our youth together and talk about these things, and help them cope with these things. Because
what we're asking them to do these things, this is crazy.
		

			Did you know and I don't be shocked by this. You go to high school and many of the high schools and
if you're if you haven't, you know, committed Zina, then you're an object of ridicule. And this guy
hasn't even done anything yet.
		

			You know, he still just a kid. They're being made fun of because they haven't committed Zina.
Imagine that.
		

			And that's the culture in which they are. So what we are asking them to do is making them the object
of ridicule among their peers. This is a very difficult thing for them to be asked to do. And if we
don't have any, any measures of supporting them, of having them talk to someone of letting these
feelings help these frustrations out, giving them alternative venues, then we have monumentally
failed you know, the the the signs of our failure are when we are having talks and our children are
not here. Our youth are not here, because they have no interest in being here. And that's our fault,
not their fault. We have to make the massage interesting for our youth. Otherwise, it starts with
		

			muscle and it ends with fascia. It starts with love and starts with wasting their time and
eventually when you waste your time you find the worst things to do with your time and that is what
the society is calling you towards. This is very very serious business for our personal selves. Illa
Allah is watching him oh mama look at a man home for in the mean, but they only guard they don't
guard their privates in regards to their spouses or what their right hands possess. And in those
cases, they are not to be blamed. inshallah Allah will discuss the spousal relationship tomorrow,
inshallah. And it's going to be pG 13. So, don't bring your younger kids tomorrow, because we have
		

			to discuss this as an important subject of preserving your own, you know, hire your own shame inside
the house, even after you're married. before you're married. You're thinking, Oh, man, once I get
married, I won't ever be tempted again.
		

			And after you get married, you see what happened here.
		

			So we have to discuss this subject, because it is a problem for a lot of husbands and a lot of
wives, you know, the fascia is still attacking them. And the Chapin all he wants to do is ruin
marriages. Right? So we have to address this subject and take it head on in sha Allah. So we'll
discuss this idea when it comes tomorrow. Also what we'll discuss tomorrow, but it is the issue of
what your right hands possess, which is supposed to be some controversy, right? These concubines
these, these Muslims, they allow for women to be owned and all this kind of stuff. We'll discuss
that subject tomorrow. barakallahu Li, again, when a friendly way er can be as King Solomon