Naima B. Robert – What is a Woman A Conversation @RebeccaBarrett MUST WATCH

Naima B. Robert
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The speakers discuss their journey from a "bood babe" to a "outlaw" and their desire to be a "most woman" and a "most woman." They criticize the negative impact of feminism on men and women, including the negative impact on women's mental health and the "upbringing of women" and "oppressedPE." They also discuss the importance of faith and respect for God, as it is a full-time job. The speakers emphasize the importance of managing one's busy schedule for hom tens and protecting women from harm. They also discuss their plans to be a natural woman and their desire to be a natural woman.

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			Bismillah Salam Alaikum guys,
welcome to this video. Really,
		
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			really excited for this
conversation that I'm about to
		
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			have today. If this is your first
time being here, then welcome
		
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			please do take a moment to
subscribe to the channel and click
		
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			the notification bell so that you
do not miss a single upload. This
		
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			is part of a new series that I'm
working on that seeks to explore
		
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			the concept of womanhood as a
whole and Muslim womanhood in
		
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			particular in the modern day. So
we're talking female nature,
		
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			femininity sexuality, going onto
gender roles, feminism that cannot
		
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			Krissy via conversations about
marriage, motherhood and meaning
		
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			with a variety of amazing guests.
So my guest today is popular
		
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			YouTube content creator, Rebecca
Barrett, all the way from where
		
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			are you here from? I'm in Florida.
I'm on the east coast of Florida,
		
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			the land of the free.
		
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			Have you always been in Florida?
No, I used to live in New York. I
		
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			actually lived all over the place.
But New York was my last my last,
		
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			you know, couple of years and then
I moved back home. I'm from
		
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			Florida. So this is home for me.
Wonderful. Wonderful. Well, thank
		
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			you so much for taking time out of
your schedule. I know you have a
		
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			precious little baby and a family
to take care of as well as you
		
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			know very busy on the YouTube.
		
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			Guys make sure you check her
content out this Rebecca Barrett
		
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			okay on YouTube, we'll put the
links in the description. But
		
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			today, we are here to talk about
		
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			all things to do with your
journey. As a former feminist, and
		
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			if you guys are interested, you
can go and check out her own
		
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			videos on her journey. You can see
all her pictures and who she was
		
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			and what she was all about. But I
really wanted us to talk about
		
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			this today, Rebecca because
		
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			the the issue of sort of feminism
and how it's changed the way that
		
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			we as women show up in the world
is it's not tied to any race, any
		
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			religion, any class. Really. It's
something that's pervasive. So I
		
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			want to thank you, firstly, for
taking time out to join me on this
		
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			platform. And I want to give you
the floor, you know, tell me tell
		
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			us about your journey from where
you were 1015 years ago to where
		
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			you came today in terms of your
journey from feminism. Okay. Um,
		
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			so I'll, I'll try to do this in
the most condensed fashion because
		
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			I've told this story many times.
		
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			So I grew up in a traditional
home, both my parents are
		
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			Brazilian, both my parents
immigrated here to the States. And
		
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			I grew up in a very traditional
home mother was in the household
		
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			dad was working, he was an
entrepreneur, since then, my dad
		
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			has passed away. So you know,
change changes in the family.
		
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			But growing up, I saw infidelity
in my home. And that was one of
		
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			the first, I guess, the wedges in
the door to let feminism in. And,
		
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			you know, as a young child, I
observed my parents relationship,
		
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			and I was like, this dynamic is
something that I don't want, I
		
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			want to make my own money. I want
to be the ruler, the master of my
		
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			own life. Okay. And so that's the
path that I took. I went to
		
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			school, after high school, I went
to school for mechanical
		
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			engineering got a robotics degree.
From there, I worked in oil and
		
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			gas, which is very, very male
oriented. I used to work on
		
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			offshore rigs, onshore rigs, for
an oil and gas company. And I was
		
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			just like, even during college, I
went to basically an all male
		
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			school, it was one woman to every
eight men. So think about.
		
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			So think about that. And, and I
was a mechanical engineer. So I
		
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			was around men, but I had a lot of
resentments towards men, if that
		
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			makes sense.
		
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			I was always challenging and
wanting to compete with them to be
		
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			the best of the best I wanted to.
I had this chip on my shoulder
		
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			growing up because I wanted to be
this this woman who overcame to
		
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			overcome all these obstacles and
whatnot. So fast forward, I left
		
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			my oil and gas job.
		
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			I started my own company at the
end of 2015.
		
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			And I had moved to New York. Okay,
so New York is the
		
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			city
		
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			parading the breeding grounds for
toxic feminism. All right. Sounds
		
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			like you've been Boss Baby always.
		
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			Yes, yes, I used I was forging my
path forward. And you know, I got
		
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			very much like, so in high school,
I was like, Why would women go to
		
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			college to get married and have
children made no sense to me? I
		
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			was like, so that was the
beginning stages, right? And then
		
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			during my oil and gas career, I
was like, Oh, these men are
		
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			annoying, like, I can't stand
them. But I have to work with
		
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			them. And I was very much one of
the guys right. So I would curse
		
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			to get the validation of being in
the field. I would smoke
		
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			cigarettes, which is something I'm
repulsed by now. These are the
		
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			things that just to like, be one
of the boys, you know what I mean?
		
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			Yeah, yeah. And so masculine,
right to be more masculine.
		
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			Exactly. And that was the first
time I had cut my hair all off. So
		
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			I've cut my hair. I think, well,
total four times, like completely
		
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			off. So, so in the oil and gas
days, that was the first time
		
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			because I didn't want to appear
feminine. I wanted them to respect
		
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			me. And I didn't want them to
objectified me in the fields, you
		
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			know, and it was almost like a
protection.
		
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			It was like my forcefield I'm
like, oh, yeah, you can just call
		
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			me a lesbian, whatever. I don't
want you to talk to me.
		
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			And so fast forward don't see me
like that, like other girls. See
		
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			me in that. Yeah. feminine way.
Yeah. So fast forward. I'm in New
		
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			York, the breeding ground for
toxic feminism. And I start really
		
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			deep diving into the ideology, you
know, you you're a part of all
		
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			these women's groups, you're a
part of these boss, babe neck
		
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			networks, entrepreneurship, you
know, I had to fight for my seat
		
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			at the table, I had to be at every
event, I had to be this, like,
		
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			this persona of a boss babe, when
inside, inside, I was like,
		
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			crumbling, you know, I was like, I
was playing this fictional
		
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			character that I had created.
Right? And I was miserable. I was
		
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			miserable. And mind you like this
was for years, years of doing
		
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			this. Um, so I started my first
company sold that company started
		
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			my second company. That company
failed during COVID At the
		
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			beginning of the cold beginning of
COVID.
		
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			But basically, throughout my whole
entrepreneurship experience, I was
		
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			tapped into all of the networks, I
was at the marches, I was, you
		
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			know, every everything possible,
and at the same time, I had
		
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			chopped off all my hair, I had
dyed it, blue, green, purple,
		
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			pink, whatever. All the colors,
right? And that's something that
		
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			I'm sure we'll talk about later
on. But feminism really makes
		
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			women ugly. Like you're ugly on
the inside. And it translates to
		
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			ugliness on the outside. Okay. Is
the thinking behind that. Wanting
		
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			to rebel against traditional ideas
of beauty, feminine beauty in
		
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			particular? Is that where that
comes from? That's exactly where
		
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			it came from. For me, right? I was
like, I want to be the rebel. I
		
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			want to be the outlaw I want to be
I want, you know, you would watch
		
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			these movies. And I want it to be
that, like, superhero or like, you
		
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			know, I always loved Mad Max and I
liked Charlize Theron in it, and
		
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			like the shaved head and she was
always, you know, figuring it out
		
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			that us
		
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			and, and that's what I wanted to
be. I wanted to portray that so
		
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			desperately so desperately.
		
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			But my, that's not my essence. I'm
a very empathetic person I have. I
		
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			literally am an empath. I've been
diagnosed with this. I'm a highly
		
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			sensitive person. So when I would
get feedback, which was
		
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			constructive feedback, I
internalized everything broke
		
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			down, like, you know, needed space
from other people loved being
		
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			around other people, but needed to
get away and like, be isolated for
		
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			two days after that.
		
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			And so and so I always look to
these, these other women. I'm
		
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			like, how do they do this? How
like, how are they operating this
		
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			way?
		
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			The, this is so much time and
effort and like building this
		
00:10:07 --> 00:10:11
			character that I, that I
portrayed, you know, to the
		
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			outside world when inside I was
broken and scared and tired and
		
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			all of the other things, every
other word. And I was also lonely,
		
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			you know, I had pushed so many men
away, I wanted to compete with
		
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			men, I didn't, I had this, like,
this attitude against them, like I
		
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			was better than them.
		
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			And it wasn't until I read Jordan
Peterson's book 10 rules for life.
		
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			And I was like, Whoa, everyone's
telling me, I have to blame
		
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			everyone else. But this doesn't
make sense. Like, I have to make
		
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			my own bed, right? Like, and that
concept really stuck with me. I'm
		
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			like, It's my life. And, and the
choices that I've made.
		
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			are like, it's a reflection of
that, right? And so if I'm
		
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			unhappy, that's a, that's a
reflection of my choices. And
		
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			that's when the real work started
to begin for me, and I was like,
		
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			okay, you know, when I and I
talked to friends and family
		
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			members, and they're like,
Rebecca, you're a miserable person
		
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			to be around. Wow, I was like,
		
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			I was like,
		
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			Okay.
		
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			Great.
		
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			Didn't expect now and no.
		
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			Can I just just jump in? Sure. Say
that. The I complete, there's two
		
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			things that I would like to pick
up on, especially for my audience.
		
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			One of them is the appeal of
feminism, as a way of liberating
		
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			yourself from trauma in your
family. Right, whether it's
		
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			infidelity, whether it's, you
know, seeing your mother or female
		
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			family members being treated in a
certain way. I know that for many
		
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			women within the Muslim community,
whenever the conversation about
		
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			feminism comes up.
		
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			That's, that's what was referred
to is that we've seen too much,
		
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			okay, we know, you know, kind of,
we know how this thing works. And
		
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			we're not prepared to take that
for ourselves. We're going to do
		
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			things differently, we're going to
insist that the community change
		
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			in this in this way. So I thought
I wanted to just flag that up for
		
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			my audience in particular, because
I think that that will resonate
		
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			with a lot of people. But also,
all this activist work and this
		
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			kind of this performance sounds
draining.
		
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			It is. And, and you know, you were
trying to have heterosexual
		
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			relationships at this time, as
well. Yes. Yes. Did you even
		
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			manage that? Like, even make
sense?
		
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			It was, it was interesting,
because until I met my husband, I
		
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			was like, Why do all the men just
steer away from me? Like, I would
		
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			get into relationships, right. But
then, after a couple of weeks, or
		
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			a couple of months, it was like,
they didn't want to be around me.
		
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			I would I would self destruct.
Essentially, I'd be like, This is
		
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			too good. I need to cause some, I
need to cause a ruckus, chaos,
		
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			bring some chaos to them. Exactly.
And that's what I realized that I
		
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			was like, every relationship that
I've been in. I'm the one that
		
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			made it. destruct. And I thought
about that. I was like, because
		
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			when you look at when you reflect,
like when you actually have time
		
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			to reflect on these things, you're
like, oh, my gosh, like, I'm the
		
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			problem, and then your whole world
starts blowing up.
		
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			Sounds like accountability. Sounds
like kryptonite. What is this? Oh,
		
00:13:59 --> 00:14:04
			no. Wow. Yeah. And that's exactly
what happened. And it didn't
		
00:14:04 --> 00:14:11
			happen right away. It took time.
And it took effort, right and took
		
00:14:11 --> 00:14:15
			effort for me because it's really
easy to just be like, okay, cool,
		
00:14:15 --> 00:14:20
			like, still not my fault. Just
blame everyone. Yeah, like, it's
		
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			fine. Like, yeah, men suck. It's
the patriarchy and that's the go
		
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			to. That's the go to response.
Right. That's what feminism
		
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			teaches you as the go to response.
And they're very crafty about
		
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			this, too. It's not it's very well
designed and well thought out.
		
00:14:43 --> 00:14:48
			And, yeah, I bought into it. But
then after I started having my own
		
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			accountability, I started coming.
And I dropped like this is also a
		
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			big things that happened to me. I
stopped drinking alcohol. I
		
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			stopped going to parties I stopped
so
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:03
			socializing with the same people
I've realized, while you're a very
		
00:15:03 --> 00:15:08
			draining individual, I can't be
around you, I realized that I'm a
		
00:15:08 --> 00:15:13
			very sensitive person. So any
one's energy in any way, and I
		
00:15:13 --> 00:15:18
			hate that word energy. But like,
the, the person's spirit was
		
00:15:18 --> 00:15:23
			heavy, you know what I mean? And
when I started realizing and
		
00:15:23 --> 00:15:27
			tapping into that, I was like,
Wow, I'm a very good judge of
		
00:15:27 --> 00:15:32
			character. Why was I blocking this
out? And I realized it was the
		
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			drugs, the alcohol, the you know,
it was all the things that I was
		
00:15:37 --> 00:15:39
			caught up in, and the ideology.
		
00:15:40 --> 00:15:45
			And again, like, feminism is like,
the scapegoat, like, you don't
		
00:15:45 --> 00:15:47
			have to take accountability,
because you can just blame
		
00:15:47 --> 00:15:52
			everyone else for your problems,
institutions, men, other women. I
		
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			wanted to jump on that actually.
Because, you know, I want one of
		
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			my questions, you know, to you is,
you know, what do you think are
		
00:15:58 --> 00:16:02
			some of the most dangerous ideas,
right, that feminism sort of
		
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			teaches? And kind of the kind of
thinking that it breeds and one of
		
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			them, you've mentioned, and that
is the systemic part, right?
		
00:16:10 --> 00:16:13
			Because if we live in an
oppressive patriarchy?
		
00:16:14 --> 00:16:19
			Well, as you know, and as we know,
it's easy to blame absolutely
		
00:16:19 --> 00:16:22
			everything on the patriarchy. And
the thing is, I see people doing
		
00:16:22 --> 00:16:25
			it all the time, even up to today.
I'm sure you kind of saw this,
		
00:16:26 --> 00:16:29
			this video that's been going
around, I have a model who had her
		
00:16:29 --> 00:16:32
			her contract revoked because she
had put some thirst trap pictures
		
00:16:32 --> 00:16:37
			up on Instagram. And instead of
kind of coming away from the
		
00:16:37 --> 00:16:40
			situation with some self
awareness, and maybe with a bit of
		
00:16:40 --> 00:16:44
			insight into what's appropriate
and what's not. She goes on this
		
00:16:44 --> 00:16:48
			rant about, you know, white
supremacy and the patriarchy and
		
00:16:48 --> 00:16:52
			misogyny and that's the reason why
she's lost her contract. What do
		
00:16:52 --> 00:16:55
			you think are some of the most
dangerous ideas that
		
00:16:57 --> 00:17:00
			there are so many? Oh, no, we have
time.
		
00:17:02 --> 00:17:07
			So that I, you know, blaming
everyone except yourself, the
		
00:17:07 --> 00:17:13
			patriarchy, institutions, men,
other women. anyone except
		
00:17:13 --> 00:17:18
			yourself? A big a big part of
feminism, modern feminism, I will
		
00:17:18 --> 00:17:24
			say, Okay. People will come at me
for for that. But sorry, Rebecca.
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:28
			Sorry, I don't mean to be pedantic
about this. But where does that
		
00:17:28 --> 00:17:32
			come from? This the lack of
accountability? What what is the
		
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			root belief behind that? Is it the
divine feminine? Is it the kind of
		
00:17:37 --> 00:17:41
			the individualized truth is it
everything is subjective? What is
		
00:17:41 --> 00:17:44
			what is it at the root of that
lack of accountability? Without no
		
00:17:44 --> 00:17:48
			not not having a need to take
personal accountability? Yeah,
		
00:17:48 --> 00:17:54
			it's, it's that whole my truth,
that whole my truth is the truth
		
00:17:54 --> 00:17:58
			in my life. And you're right,
everything is subjective, we lost
		
00:17:58 --> 00:18:04
			morality. In this culture, there
is no morals, there are no values,
		
00:18:04 --> 00:18:09
			because morals and values were
very much rooted in faith,
		
00:18:09 --> 00:18:13
			whatever faith you belong to
whatever you call such as.
		
00:18:14 --> 00:18:18
			Correct, right? Because a lot of
these, a lot of these ideas that
		
00:18:18 --> 00:18:24
			they say are pushed by
Christianity and other religions.
		
00:18:24 --> 00:18:27
			And so when you look at these
things, they're gonna say, Oh,
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:31
			well, that's, that's why like, the
United States was built off of
		
00:18:31 --> 00:18:36
			Christian men morals and values,
we need to do away with those
		
00:18:36 --> 00:18:40
			systems, because obviously, that's
not working. And so we need to
		
00:18:40 --> 00:18:46
			dismantle the patriarchy is their,
their quintessential line, and
		
00:18:46 --> 00:18:50
			it's dismantling the patriarchy
and building something new. But
		
00:18:50 --> 00:18:57
			they're building this new world
off of bad ideas. Right. And, and,
		
00:18:57 --> 00:19:03
			and the other things about
feminism, oh, my gosh, well,
		
00:19:03 --> 00:19:07
			there's different movements that
have spawned off of feminism. So
		
00:19:07 --> 00:19:11
			you have the me to movement,
right? Believe all women, which go
		
00:19:11 --> 00:19:14
			hand in hand with that, then you
have the sexual liberation
		
00:19:14 --> 00:19:18
			movement, which says, you know,
* work is real work.
		
00:19:20 --> 00:19:25
			And, you know, the idea that
marriage and children are bondage
		
00:19:25 --> 00:19:27
			and slavery. Yeah, yeah.
		
00:19:28 --> 00:19:37
			All of these ideas are bad. And
also we went from our husbands are
		
00:19:37 --> 00:19:42
			our protection are the stronghold
of our families to let me now rely
		
00:19:42 --> 00:19:47
			on the government for that
assistance. I don't need a man. I
		
00:19:47 --> 00:19:52
			don't I don't need a man. I want a
man. That's a huge thing being
		
00:19:52 --> 00:19:57
			spoken about today. And what's the
worst part about feminism is that
		
00:19:57 --> 00:20:00
			there's so many women that believe
that they're not
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:03
			In a feminist, but when you start
talking to them, it's like they're
		
00:20:03 --> 00:20:08
			spitting out feminist ideology.
And it's because it's baked into
		
00:20:08 --> 00:20:13
			our media, our social media,
everything growing up, I'm, I'm
		
00:20:13 --> 00:20:17
			gonna give my age, I'm 33. Okay, I
grew up in front of the
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:23
			television, every single show
Family Guy, like every, like any
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:29
			show, you go on, you know, on TV,
it's the man is stupid. The
		
00:20:29 --> 00:20:33
			husband stupid, the mother, the
wife, the mother is the smartest
		
00:20:33 --> 00:20:36
			one. And the smartest one of the
entire family is the daughter.
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:41
			That's true. That's true. That's
facts. That's facts. Yeah, that's
		
00:20:41 --> 00:20:44
			exactly how it's portrayed. And,
you know, just as you were talking
		
00:20:44 --> 00:20:51
			about this dismantling, I think
that where a lot of religious
		
00:20:51 --> 00:20:54
			women, whether they're Christian,
Jewish, Muslim or otherwise,
		
00:20:54 --> 00:21:00
			right, who who find who find ideas
that, you know, who find
		
00:21:00 --> 00:21:01
			themselves drawn to feminism,
right?
		
00:21:02 --> 00:21:08
			There is a fundamental conflict
there, right? Because, as you
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:12
			said, All societies by and large,
were built on a religious
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:17
			foundation, right? Most societies
were built on a moral code that
		
00:21:17 --> 00:21:19
			found its home in faith, right?
		
00:21:21 --> 00:21:27
			If the religion is patriarchal, if
the religion is oppressive, which
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:31
			of course women feminists do say,
then that must mean that religions
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:36
			values are also patriarchal and
oppressive, which means that the
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:41
			values that our societies have
been based on for millennia,
		
00:21:42 --> 00:21:47
			you know, mother, father,
children, family, the bonds of
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:52
			kinship, loyalty, you know, you
know, all the things right working
		
00:21:52 --> 00:21:56
			hard sacrifice, duty,
responsibility, morality, you
		
00:21:56 --> 00:22:01
			know, like holding yourself back
him, virginity, hello, all of
		
00:22:01 --> 00:22:06
			these things right now through the
feminist lens deemed as
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:11
			patriarchal, oppressive and
unacceptable and antithetical to a
		
00:22:11 --> 00:22:15
			woman's happiness and personal
freedom. But then now, we have, as
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:20
			you said, a situation where a
society is being built, that
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:24
			completely trashes every single
thing that I just mentioned, even
		
00:22:24 --> 00:22:30
			though human societies have been
stabilized on that basis, ever
		
00:22:30 --> 00:22:34
			since we even you know, ever since
we know, right, so it's it's crazy
		
00:22:34 --> 00:22:41
			to me that we are embracing and
celebrating and pushing this this
		
00:22:41 --> 00:22:46
			really, you know, toxic feminist
narrative. Really, I don't get it
		
00:22:46 --> 00:22:49
			like what's the end in sight?
Like, what's the goal is the goal
		
00:22:49 --> 00:22:52
			for us all to be Boss Babes and
freeze our eggs? Like, what was
		
00:22:52 --> 00:22:57
			the deal here? I don't know. You
know, well, to me, you touch on so
		
00:22:57 --> 00:23:01
			many amazing points and I want to
and I also want to double down on
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:06
			that. So, I, I look at today's
society, I look at today's
		
00:23:06 --> 00:23:14
			culture, and I, I see a complete
debauchery, okay?
		
00:23:15 --> 00:23:24
			Women are drinking on par with
men, on par, one to one. Women are
		
00:23:24 --> 00:23:27
			on more antidepressants than
they've ever been. If we are the
		
00:23:27 --> 00:23:33
			most liberated women in history,
why are we more depressed? Why are
		
00:23:33 --> 00:23:40
			we more anxious? Why do we have to
rely on on drugs and alcohol to
		
00:23:40 --> 00:23:47
			cope with our lives? Okay, that is
the question I asked. So many
		
00:23:47 --> 00:23:51
			women, because if all of these
things, the sexual liberation
		
00:23:51 --> 00:23:56
			movement, and you know, the
ability to push off your
		
00:23:57 --> 00:24:00
			fertility, which is a lie, another
lie.
		
00:24:01 --> 00:24:07
			And the introduction of birth
control, right? You're detaching
		
00:24:07 --> 00:24:11
			that responsibility. You're
removing that responsibility
		
00:24:11 --> 00:24:13
			because with *,
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:21
			there is the possibility of a
pregnancy. It's biology. And the
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:25
			problem with today is that, like
you said, everything is
		
00:24:25 --> 00:24:32
			subjective. So we don't call
babies in the womb, a baby. It's
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:37
			now a clump of cells. We you know,
* work is real work. So
		
00:24:37 --> 00:24:43
			prostitution and * is is
upheld in our society, but a
		
00:24:43 --> 00:24:48
			mother with four children and
having marital * with her
		
00:24:48 --> 00:24:54
			husband is deemed inappropriate
and disgusting. So so when I look
		
00:24:54 --> 00:24:56
			at this culture,
		
00:24:57 --> 00:24:59
			it's crazy. When I look at this
culture, I'm
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:07
			I'm, I look at my daughter, and
I'm like, as mothers who don't
		
00:25:07 --> 00:25:14
			believe in this ideology, we need
to, we need to do a better job at
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:19
			raising our children in order for
them to make the changes in the
		
00:25:19 --> 00:25:23
			next generations because we're
gonna get into it right. But we're
		
00:25:23 --> 00:25:29
			seeing what we're seeing today.
The lowest birth rates of history.
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:35
			Okay. All across the board. South
Korea is paying women to have
		
00:25:35 --> 00:25:41
			babies. Wow, they have the lowest
birth. They have the lowest birth
		
00:25:41 --> 00:25:46
			rates out of any country. Okay, so
we're seeing lower birth rates,
		
00:25:46 --> 00:25:48
			we're seeing lower
		
00:25:49 --> 00:25:54
			women's inability to have babies
because they're pushing off their,
		
00:25:55 --> 00:26:00
			their, their pushing off fertility
for later on in their early 30s,
		
00:26:00 --> 00:26:05
			late 30s, late 30s. And even
sometimes in the 40s. Right, well,
		
00:26:05 --> 00:26:10
			yeah. And so and so when you when
you do that, you can only have one
		
00:26:10 --> 00:26:16
			to two children, Max. Yeah. Right.
Whereas before you could have 567.
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:19
			Yeah, exactly.
		
00:26:20 --> 00:26:25
			And I'm one of those women that
I'm 33 I had my first baby, right,
		
00:26:25 --> 00:26:33
			I'm praying to God, for two more.
God willing, right? Yeah, but, but
		
00:26:33 --> 00:26:36
			this is what we're seeing today,
because these women are believing
		
00:26:36 --> 00:26:41
			the lie that oh, yeah, I can push
off my fertility, oh, I can just
		
00:26:41 --> 00:26:45
			take birth control, oh, I can just
have * with whoever I want. But
		
00:26:47 --> 00:26:52
			that's going to that's going to
inhibit the my pair bonding with
		
00:26:52 --> 00:26:56
			my husband. And then I'm going to
think about divorcing him because,
		
00:26:58 --> 00:27:01
			you know, I can have whoever
because social media says it's
		
00:27:01 --> 00:27:06
			okay. So it's a complete
degeneracy that we're seeing in
		
00:27:06 --> 00:27:11
			society. And that's exactly what
they want. That's exactly. You say
		
00:27:11 --> 00:27:13
			they, the people that are
		
00:27:15 --> 00:27:19
			they that they the big they
capital T, we won't get into those
		
00:27:19 --> 00:27:24
			things, but a billion, right. It's
the rebellion and the destruction.
		
00:27:24 --> 00:27:28
			That's that was the point, right?
Because destruction of the nuclear
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:31
			family, they want the government
they want.
		
00:27:32 --> 00:27:36
			They want the government they
want. They want to control the
		
00:27:36 --> 00:27:40
			children, they want to control the
mothers, the family, get this
		
00:27:40 --> 00:27:45
			father's out of the home, right?
The matriarchy, let the mother's
		
00:27:45 --> 00:27:50
			role the family, get paid by the
government to do that, and send
		
00:27:50 --> 00:27:54
			your children off to school to get
indoctrinated by the state so that
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:57
			they can be good citizens of
whatever country they're living
		
00:27:57 --> 00:28:02
			in. That's the that's the
playbook. That's the playbook, and
		
00:28:02 --> 00:28:06
			destroy the men and just destroy
the men destroy the concept of
		
00:28:06 --> 00:28:11
			masculinity destroy Yeah, in fact,
just taint the whole concept of
		
00:28:11 --> 00:28:15
			masculinity. And, you know, I was
speaking about this with some
		
00:28:15 --> 00:28:19
			friends at the weekend. And we
were just saying how, you know, if
		
00:28:19 --> 00:28:24
			you have a generation, which we do
now, probably two generations of
		
00:28:25 --> 00:28:30
			boys being raised in single parent
homes, right? Either a father
		
00:28:30 --> 00:28:35
			who's been completely like
neutralized, okay, through
		
00:28:35 --> 00:28:38
			whatever means it was passive
aggression, the nagging the
		
00:28:39 --> 00:28:43
			calling, whatever the case may be,
but he's been neutralized as the
		
00:28:43 --> 00:28:47
			father, or he's been kicked out
altogether. And then you've got
		
00:28:47 --> 00:28:50
			women, you know, who are raising
their sons
		
00:28:51 --> 00:28:57
			to be feminine? Is it to be
feminine, right, and to be
		
00:28:57 --> 00:28:59
			feminine? And the thing is that we
won't talk about single mothers
		
00:28:59 --> 00:29:02
			today, because, you know, I know
that it's a huge issue, we'll
		
00:29:02 --> 00:29:05
			probably have a conversation about
this, again, I think that there is
		
00:29:05 --> 00:29:12
			a need to try to heal and teach
single mothers, because there are
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:15
			so many of them, right? And
they're not going away anytime
		
00:29:15 --> 00:29:18
			soon, especially if the men have
their way because they are done
		
00:29:18 --> 00:29:22
			with marrying them. So no one's
gonna marry them. And if men are
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:25
			not prepared to step in a step
fathers, then I think we need to
		
00:29:25 --> 00:29:29
			start talking about how to heal
and teach single mothers to raise
		
00:29:29 --> 00:29:32
			their children to do better. But
anyway, I digress.
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:37
			I feel like there's a whole
generation I think maybe two,
		
00:29:37 --> 00:29:42
			maybe even going on to three that
has missed out on
		
00:29:45 --> 00:29:48
			the, I want to say
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:55
			the kind of upbringing that our
mothers may have had, but more
		
00:29:55 --> 00:29:59
			probably our grandmothers going
back where they were brought up
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:04
			Ready to fulfill their feminine
role, right to look forward to
		
00:30:04 --> 00:30:07
			their feminine role to look
forward to getting married to look
		
00:30:07 --> 00:30:10
			forward to being a mother to look
forward to that whole adventure,
		
00:30:10 --> 00:30:14
			right? Our grandmothers knew what
was up. Okay, they knew what was
		
00:30:14 --> 00:30:17
			up, they were trained for what was
up, right, just like our
		
00:30:17 --> 00:30:21
			grandfathers, they were trained to
take on the role when they got old
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:25
			enough. I think for many of our
mothers, certainly my mother was a
		
00:30:25 --> 00:30:29
			feminist, because she kind of came
up in the 60s. So you know, she
		
00:30:29 --> 00:30:33
			didn't raise me like that. Maybe
your mother was not the same. But
		
00:30:33 --> 00:30:35
			some of us may have had a
traditional more traditional
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:38
			mothers, but some of us will have
had feminist mothers, right. And
		
00:30:38 --> 00:30:42
			then, so you look at our
generation, whatever our mothers
		
00:30:42 --> 00:30:48
			did, or didn't do, the education
system, the movies, the music, the
		
00:30:48 --> 00:30:52
			the media, and now the social
media has brought us in a way. And
		
00:30:52 --> 00:30:56
			I see that the next that sort of
the millennials coming up as well.
		
00:30:56 --> 00:31:00
			It's just more of the same being
pumped, pumped pumped. Forget
		
00:31:00 --> 00:31:03
			about being a mum who needs to get
married, you know, like this, this
		
00:31:03 --> 00:31:07
			whole thing. So what do you think
we've missed out on if it's, we
		
00:31:07 --> 00:31:11
			say, our generation of gen xers
and millennials? What did you
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:16
			think we've missed out on in terms
of what being a woman is? What I
		
00:31:16 --> 00:31:17
			mean when could be
		
00:31:19 --> 00:31:24
			I think the the entire aspect of
homemaking
		
00:31:27 --> 00:31:27
			I think
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:31
			yeah, go on.
		
00:31:32 --> 00:31:32
			Sorry.
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:38
			Go ahead. The the aspect of
homemaking, homesteading,
		
00:31:39 --> 00:31:44
			learning the skills at home, in my
household, and this is something
		
00:31:44 --> 00:31:46
			that I am so grateful for my
mother,
		
00:31:48 --> 00:31:52
			she taught, she taught me how to
cook, she taught me how to
		
00:31:52 --> 00:31:57
			maintain the house, you know, when
we had guests over, I would, we
		
00:31:57 --> 00:32:02
			would get tasks. So I would, I
would clean the dishes, and I
		
00:32:02 --> 00:32:06
			would vacuum and I learned how to
be a big sister and things like
		
00:32:06 --> 00:32:10
			that. So that was ingrained in me,
which I'm so grateful for. Because
		
00:32:10 --> 00:32:14
			now my husband has an amazing
cook, he's always so grateful for
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:19
			the meals that I make him. And for
me, you know, we, I, I go to other
		
00:32:19 --> 00:32:24
			women's houses, other wives, other
couples houses, and I see an
		
00:32:24 --> 00:32:29
			uncapped home, I'm like, What is
going on? Like, don't you don't
		
00:32:29 --> 00:32:33
			you take care of the home, don't.
And I have friends that don't even
		
00:32:33 --> 00:32:36
			know how to cook, they don't even
know how to microwave like, make
		
00:32:36 --> 00:32:37
			themselves
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:43
			eggs. These are women, these are
women, I started, you know, I
		
00:32:43 --> 00:32:46
			started learning videos on how to
sew and how to make my own
		
00:32:46 --> 00:32:50
			clothes, and how to do pattern
work and all of these different
		
00:32:50 --> 00:32:53
			things, because these are the
things that we miss out on. And
		
00:32:53 --> 00:32:58
			guess, you know, we live in modern
society, but my, my goal is to
		
00:32:58 --> 00:33:02
			hopefully have a homestead so I
can garden and grow my own food
		
00:33:02 --> 00:33:06
			and, you know, show my children
how to live off the land. Like,
		
00:33:07 --> 00:33:11
			that's, that's what I want for my
children. You know what I mean?
		
00:33:11 --> 00:33:16
			And especially for my daughter, I
want her to grow up and see a mom
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:22
			and what it the beauty of being a
mother and not, and not what we've
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:27
			seen in western civilization where
it's marriages that like you said,
		
00:33:27 --> 00:33:32
			the husband is neutralized the the
woman runs the household and the
		
00:33:32 --> 00:33:33
			kids run.
		
00:33:34 --> 00:33:38
			The woman runs the husband, the
kids run the household. Right?
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:44
			And, and that's what we're seeing.
I want my kids to grow up and have
		
00:33:44 --> 00:33:49
			a childhood, I think, I think we
were the last generation to
		
00:33:49 --> 00:33:50
			actually have like,
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:56
			an actual childhood, like riding
your bicycles and doing that
		
00:33:56 --> 00:34:01
			stuff. Today, everyone's already
on the iPad. I see children out at
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:07
			the restaurants on the iPad, glued
to the television. I do if it's
		
00:34:07 --> 00:34:12
			too much. My daughter sees my
iWatch and she knows how to mess
		
00:34:12 --> 00:34:18
			with it. She's six months old.
Tell me how this works. She I'm
		
00:34:18 --> 00:34:22
			changing her diaper and she's,
she's like finicky, like touches
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:26
			the screen. I'm like, Oh my gosh,
what is going on? Like, I need to
		
00:34:26 --> 00:34:28
			get all technology
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:36
			when I put her to sleep and when I
changed her diapers, I take off my
		
00:34:36 --> 00:34:41
			watch, because I don't want her to
be distracted by these things. And
		
00:34:41 --> 00:34:46
			it's hard. You know, it's hard to
to get away from technology, but
		
00:34:46 --> 00:34:50
			technology is the thing. It's a
great advancement, but it's also
		
00:34:51 --> 00:34:54
			changing, changing the brain for
these children.
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:59
			And, and I wish I wish more
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:04
			Women would see the beauty of
homemaking, the beauty of you
		
00:35:04 --> 00:35:08
			know, homesteading, like making
your own food, growing your own
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:12
			food, making your own clothes. You
know, learning about food
		
00:35:12 --> 00:35:17
			preservation, I'm doing all this
stuff now. Like, I live in a in a
		
00:35:17 --> 00:35:22
			fancy apartment complex, but we're
looking to buy property so that I
		
00:35:22 --> 00:35:27
			can have my own garden beds. Yeah,
I think is it's so interesting to
		
00:35:27 --> 00:35:30
			me, actually. Because it's like,
there's this full circle. And I
		
00:35:30 --> 00:35:34
			think society is like that. I
think society just always is the
		
00:35:34 --> 00:35:38
			pendulum swinging isn't. So just
as our grandmothers and great
		
00:35:38 --> 00:35:42
			grandmothers lived this life, and
knew this very well, you know, I'm
		
00:35:42 --> 00:35:47
			sure our mothers were more than
happy to say, that's not for me
		
00:35:47 --> 00:35:50
			and go off and get, you know,
degrees and careers. And maybe we
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:54
			were too. And it's only now that
we're seeing your generation,
		
00:35:54 --> 00:35:57
			because we you and I are not the
same generation. I'm 45. Right?
		
00:35:57 --> 00:35:59
			Well, 44 really, technically
speaking.
		
00:36:01 --> 00:36:05
			But by the time this comes out,
I'll be 45. So I'm definitely Gen.
		
00:36:05 --> 00:36:08
			Gen X. And for most of us,
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:15
			you know, if you didn't pair up
when you were younger, Hollis
		
00:36:15 --> 00:36:20
			like, you know, it's over, right?
I mean, I'm just I'm feel very
		
00:36:20 --> 00:36:25
			blessed, that I accepted Islam at
the age of what 21? I think, and
		
00:36:25 --> 00:36:27
			that's the only reason why I
thought of getting married.
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:29
			Because as you know, with Muslims,
like if you want to be with
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:33
			somebody, you need to get married.
So all of us at university, like
		
00:36:33 --> 00:36:36
			that was the hot topic. Were the
brothers that were the brothers.
		
00:36:38 --> 00:36:42
			It's true, you know, oh, I know a
brother. I know a brother Oh, my
		
00:36:42 --> 00:36:44
			sister knows a brother. Oh, my
uncle told me about a brother.
		
00:36:44 --> 00:36:48
			That was the conversation aside
from schoolwork at university.
		
00:36:48 --> 00:36:52
			That was the conversation. So
anyway, I credit really my face
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:57
			with me having married at 22. And
having had my first child at that
		
00:36:57 --> 00:37:01
			age, because definitely, I was not
on that path at all. You know, I
		
00:37:01 --> 00:37:05
			wanted to finish my degree, get my
masters have a fantastic career,
		
00:37:05 --> 00:37:08
			make loads of money, and then
maybe have three kids on the tail
		
00:37:08 --> 00:37:11
			end of it. You know how it goes?
Yeah. And that's, and that's in
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:15
			the unfortunately, that's where
I'm at, right? Like I came to this
		
00:37:15 --> 00:37:21
			realization in my late 20s. And
thankfully,
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:27
			you know, God blessed me with an
amazing husband at the time that
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:32
			he did, because I was on that same
trajectory of being single, and
		
00:37:32 --> 00:37:37
			not having any prospects. You know
what I mean? And so I feel very
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:42
			blessed, and also to the people
that I surrounded myself
		
00:37:43 --> 00:37:49
			with, because, you know, just like
you rediscover your faith, I
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:52
			rediscovered my faith, and I
always had been tapped into my
		
00:37:52 --> 00:37:56
			faith. But when you don't like
when you just get into your faith,
		
00:37:56 --> 00:38:00
			and you realize, oh, my gosh, the
Bible says, like, what it means to
		
00:38:00 --> 00:38:07
			be a wife, right? And so I have
to, I have to re re configure this
		
00:38:07 --> 00:38:09
			brain recalibrate, yep.
		
00:38:10 --> 00:38:16
			And go back to my North Star.
Because a lot of us, I think a lot
		
00:38:16 --> 00:38:18
			of us, especially if we were
raised,
		
00:38:19 --> 00:38:25
			you know, in a religious home, we
fall away, we then we come back,
		
00:38:25 --> 00:38:29
			you know, we have this very much
prodigal son, prodigal daughter
		
00:38:30 --> 00:38:35
			mentality, some come back too
late. And, and that's where it
		
00:38:35 --> 00:38:39
			breaks my heart. Because you see
these beautiful women, these
		
00:38:39 --> 00:38:42
			beautiful women with these
beautiful careers. And you're
		
00:38:42 --> 00:38:48
			like, how you could have made
beautiful children and had
		
00:38:50 --> 00:38:53
			like five of them. And now.
		
00:38:55 --> 00:39:00
			And now you have zero, so that it
breaks my heart. It breaks my
		
00:39:00 --> 00:39:05
			heart because it's when it's too
late. It's too late. And biology
		
00:39:05 --> 00:39:08
			doesn't care about how many
degrees you have on the wall. How
		
00:39:08 --> 00:39:13
			many? How much money's in your
bank account. You know what your
		
00:39:13 --> 00:39:18
			status is in society, it doesn't
care. It doesn't care if
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:22
			Subhanallah is a crazy thing as
you're seeing this. I'm thinking
		
00:39:22 --> 00:39:27
			of the bottle, right? I'm thinking
back, okay, the push back. It's
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:32
			always you know, women can do
more. We can be more than just
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:35
			wives we can be more than just
mothers, right? We're capable of
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:39
			doing anything we put our minds
to. And then you get the look at
		
00:39:39 --> 00:39:42
			women in this field in that field
and this field in that field like
		
00:39:42 --> 00:39:47
			we have, we basically, you know,
we've come on out on top in almost
		
00:39:47 --> 00:39:52
			every field right? Which is none
of it is untrue. I think we are
		
00:39:52 --> 00:39:57
			capable of doing anything we want,
right? But every choice has a
		
00:39:57 --> 00:39:59
			consequence. Right and everything
that you choose
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:04
			Do you pay a price for it? And I
think that one of the parts of
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:06
			this conversation that is
		
00:40:07 --> 00:40:14
			conveniently ignored is that it's
not cute in your 40s. And in your
		
00:40:14 --> 00:40:18
			50s and 60s anymore. I was having
this conversation with my sons,
		
00:40:18 --> 00:40:20
			and they will say, My mom doesn't
leave these girls. You know, like,
		
00:40:20 --> 00:40:23
			if these women want to have
careers, if they want to, like,
		
00:40:23 --> 00:40:26
			you know, have their whole phase
or whatever, let them do it, like
		
00:40:26 --> 00:40:29
			let them enjoy themselves in their
20s. And, you know, let them enjoy
		
00:40:29 --> 00:40:32
			themselves. That's what they said.
They're happy, leave them to it.
		
00:40:32 --> 00:40:38
			And I said, You know what, in your
20s, it's cute. It's a riot. I'm
		
00:40:38 --> 00:40:43
			sure it's a wild ride and the 20s
Feels like it will last forever.
		
00:40:43 --> 00:40:47
			Even nowadays, the 30s Feels like
it will last forever. Because you
		
00:40:47 --> 00:40:50
			know, you see a difference between
a 27 year old and a 33 year old
		
00:40:50 --> 00:40:53
			sometimes you can't see the
difference. Like that's good. You
		
00:40:54 --> 00:40:57
			got more money now. They've got
you know, kind of, they've got a
		
00:40:57 --> 00:41:01
			higher class lifestyle. If they've
played their cards right according
		
00:41:01 --> 00:41:05
			to their rules, right? Then by
then they're in their financial
		
00:41:05 --> 00:41:09
			stride. They have their own home,
they've got the shoes, I've got
		
00:41:09 --> 00:41:12
			the bags, they've got the girls
trips, they've got a lifestyle.
		
00:41:12 --> 00:41:16
			Amazing, beautiful, the Instagram
is poppin
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:24
			it is lit. Okay, it's all good.
But it's not cute. When you hit 40
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:33
			It's not cute anymore at 45 at 50
at 5560 7080, which is how long
		
00:41:33 --> 00:41:37
			pigs be living these days.
Especially these wild cat ladies
		
00:41:37 --> 00:41:41
			who be in the gym, you know, and
eating organic vegan, well, Allah.
		
00:41:43 --> 00:41:47
			They're gonna live long lives. And
as I said to my sons, no one's got
		
00:41:47 --> 00:41:52
			anything to say to them when they
hit 14. Because they can talk all
		
00:41:52 --> 00:41:57
			the talk in their 20s be a blast,
babe, secure the bag, you know,
		
00:41:57 --> 00:42:01
			like, you know, make your life you
know, any what was it for yourself
		
00:42:01 --> 00:42:05
			anything that doesn't serve you so
many slogans right? In the 20s and
		
00:42:05 --> 00:42:08
			30s. It sounds great. They can
make songs about they can do
		
00:42:08 --> 00:42:14
			everything. They cannot say
anything. When that woman realizes
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:19
			that, shoot, I've missed my
opportunity. There's no one out
		
00:42:19 --> 00:42:27
			there for me. I've lost my chance
of having a family. And even if,
		
00:42:27 --> 00:42:31
			you know, the propaganda and all
the conditioning has worked, and
		
00:42:31 --> 00:42:34
			she doesn't want kids, because
that is a fact as well.
		
00:42:35 --> 00:42:38
			To see children as a burden. And
as an all of this stuff, right?
		
00:42:38 --> 00:42:43
			Even if she doesn't want children.
There's no woman Well, except for
		
00:42:43 --> 00:42:46
			the outliers. And we know we don't
pay attention to outliers. Just
		
00:42:46 --> 00:42:53
			leave them to the side. But very
few women who are alone in the
		
00:42:53 --> 00:42:59
			paid off house with their wardrobe
and shoes and boxes of wine are
		
00:42:59 --> 00:43:05
			sitting at 4045 50 saying this is
the life. It's just not the way
		
00:43:05 --> 00:43:07
			guys it's just not going to
happen. And no one's got anything
		
00:43:07 --> 00:43:11
			to say to those women. They can't
even say sorry. Because
		
00:43:13 --> 00:43:17
			that's why we're having these
conversations right there. So
		
00:43:17 --> 00:43:21
			badan. And at that point, it's
like if I don't continue to
		
00:43:21 --> 00:43:26
			perpetuate this lie, like for
these youngins, I'm gonna look
		
00:43:26 --> 00:43:30
			bad, I'm gonna look stupid. So I
have to play this game, I have to
		
00:43:30 --> 00:43:35
			play this to the end of my life.
And what I wanted to also touch on
		
00:43:35 --> 00:43:39
			what you said earlier, right. You
know, the devil's advocate is
		
00:43:39 --> 00:43:43
			always playing Oh, you know, like,
it's great to have your money.
		
00:43:43 --> 00:43:46
			It's great to have all these
promotions and degrees and all
		
00:43:46 --> 00:43:50
			this other stuff. That's amazing.
I think all women should get their
		
00:43:50 --> 00:43:54
			education. I think all women
should work in their, in a career.
		
00:43:55 --> 00:44:00
			Where I however, where I, I want
women to start understanding is
		
00:44:00 --> 00:44:05
			that there is a point biologically
and mentally, physically,
		
00:44:05 --> 00:44:06
			emotionally, all that stuff.
		
00:44:08 --> 00:44:13
			Chemically, that happens in your
body. When you hit your 30s. And
		
00:44:13 --> 00:44:18
			you desire children, a lot of
women I'm not saying all of them.
		
00:44:18 --> 00:44:20
			Well, you said there's outliers,
right?
		
00:44:21 --> 00:44:26
			So planning for that, right? How
if your amazing career have all of
		
00:44:26 --> 00:44:29
			these things, but keep that in the
back of your mind and say okay,
		
00:44:30 --> 00:44:34
			this is a possibility right here.
Okay. This is this is a
		
00:44:35 --> 00:44:39
			this is going to happen for for a
majority of women, right?
		
00:44:40 --> 00:44:45
			Lock the husband down. Okay. Get
all of the like, train to stick
		
00:44:45 --> 00:44:50
			with it. Exactly. To check with
your life. Let me let me It's so
		
00:44:50 --> 00:44:55
			crazy. I had a five year plan. I
had a 10 year plan. I had all the
		
00:44:55 --> 00:45:00
			plans, okay. of my career, how I
wanted to go I wanted to be
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:04
			A billionaire, blah, blah, tell us
Tell me tell me if I had a plan on
		
00:45:05 --> 00:45:09
			how I was going to how I was going
to meet my husband. Because I
		
00:45:09 --> 00:45:13
			said, you know, when you say that
it reminds me when Kevin Samuels
		
00:45:13 --> 00:45:16
			used to give those women a hard
time, and they used to come on
		
00:45:16 --> 00:45:19
			there and talk about their
achievements in their career and
		
00:45:19 --> 00:45:21
			all of the things, then he would
ask them what they want, and they
		
00:45:21 --> 00:45:24
			would tell him what they wanted.
And he would ask them, What are
		
00:45:24 --> 00:45:28
			you doing to get that? That
nothing to say nothing? Because
		
00:45:28 --> 00:45:33
			they they chose? See, this is
where I want women to like start
		
00:45:33 --> 00:45:37
			grappling, right? You can be a
lawyer, but know that there's a
		
00:45:37 --> 00:45:43
			time limit on that do amazing work
and the time that you have also
		
00:45:43 --> 00:45:47
			plan to get married and have
children know that these things
		
00:45:47 --> 00:45:53
			expire, right? And that's okay.
And you can also like, I hate I
		
00:45:53 --> 00:45:59
			hate when, you know, these modern
women tell? Well, she's going to
		
00:45:59 --> 00:46:01
			be a stay at home mom, she says no
work. What's she going to do?
		
00:46:02 --> 00:46:06
			Okay, listen, there are moms that
have that run businesses out of
		
00:46:06 --> 00:46:10
			their home, I do YouTube, you do
YouTube, you have books, you do
		
00:46:10 --> 00:46:14
			all of these different things,
right? The priority is always the
		
00:46:14 --> 00:46:20
			family, family first, everything
else second, but actually that
		
00:46:20 --> 00:46:23
			therein lies the rub. Right? There
is the exactly you've just put up.
		
00:46:24 --> 00:46:28
			John, you've just nailed it. The
issue is, and I believe this, that
		
00:46:28 --> 00:46:33
			as women, we these generations
that have come in since the sexual
		
00:46:33 --> 00:46:38
			revolution, right? We've been
groomed to be selfish. And we are
		
00:46:38 --> 00:46:43
			that we are the center of our
universe and our wants and desires
		
00:46:43 --> 00:46:48
			and needs are primary. Right? And
so that I think is one of the
		
00:46:48 --> 00:46:54
			reasons why, you know, women today
feel so much unease when it comes
		
00:46:54 --> 00:47:00
			to prioritizing a a husband and a
family. It feels wrong. Why should
		
00:47:00 --> 00:47:05
			I prioritize him? What about me?
Right? What about my happiness?
		
00:47:05 --> 00:47:09
			What about my goals? What about my
dreams. And the unfortunate thing
		
00:47:09 --> 00:47:12
			is, and this is what I want to
tell sisters out there brothers
		
00:47:12 --> 00:47:15
			probably know this already. But
sisters, there's actually few
		
00:47:15 --> 00:47:20
			things worse in life than having a
mother who thinks like that.
		
00:47:21 --> 00:47:23
			For the children, because
		
00:47:24 --> 00:47:30
			traditionally, throughout time,
parents have always understood
		
00:47:30 --> 00:47:33
			that the children's needs come
first. Exactly, and must be
		
00:47:33 --> 00:47:37
			protected at all costs. The
children, they eat, you know, they
		
00:47:37 --> 00:47:40
			we make sure that they eat, we
make sure that they're protected,
		
00:47:40 --> 00:47:43
			we make sure that we got our
young, right, like, this is just
		
00:47:43 --> 00:47:50
			human human nature, right human
human behavior. So to be in a time
		
00:47:50 --> 00:47:55
			where a mother sees her child or
her children as a drain on her
		
00:47:55 --> 00:48:00
			resources, either personal,
emotional or physical, where she
		
00:48:00 --> 00:48:04
			resents the care that she gives
the child where she resents the
		
00:48:04 --> 00:48:08
			sacrifice, which she resents the
time that it takes to truly raise
		
00:48:09 --> 00:48:13
			a human being. This is a really
scary time for children. Because
		
00:48:13 --> 00:48:19
			guess what? The forces that want
to raise your children for you,
		
00:48:19 --> 00:48:23
			oh, they're ready. They're locked
and loaded me. They're locked and
		
00:48:23 --> 00:48:24
			loaded, they're ready.
		
00:48:26 --> 00:48:30
			So we need to do some mental
scrubbing, right? To be able to
		
00:48:30 --> 00:48:34
			really kind of just be honest with
ourselves and real with ourselves
		
00:48:34 --> 00:48:40
			to say, Okay, well, how much of
this stuff has impacted me and the
		
00:48:40 --> 00:48:43
			way I show up, even if I did
manage to, you know, get married
		
00:48:43 --> 00:48:46
			and have children because as we
were saying, you said be
		
00:48:46 --> 00:48:49
			strategic? Right? Understand that
marriage, if you want to get
		
00:48:49 --> 00:48:54
			married, put it as a priority.
Don't think, assume that it will
		
00:48:54 --> 00:48:58
			be at the end of your rainbow.
Right after you finished living
		
00:48:58 --> 00:49:01
			this wonderful life, living your
best life, that there will be a
		
00:49:01 --> 00:49:04
			man waiting at the end of it with
two or three kids because that's
		
00:49:04 --> 00:49:09
			what we're seeing is the fairy
tale. And that's exactly you
		
00:49:09 --> 00:49:14
			nailed it. That's what women are
sold on, write, do these things,
		
00:49:14 --> 00:49:18
			get the college degree, get that
amazing job, build your money,
		
00:49:18 --> 00:49:23
			build your you know, reputation
and your short social status. And
		
00:49:23 --> 00:49:28
			at the end of all of that, we'll
have Prince Charming and your five
		
00:49:28 --> 00:49:32
			kids. I mean, two kids at this
point, Wi Fi, Wi Fi.
		
00:49:34 --> 00:49:35
			Two and a dog to it.
		
00:49:37 --> 00:49:40
			But I wanted I wanted to touch on
something that you said to
		
00:49:41 --> 00:49:44
			you said protect the children,
right. That's something that is
		
00:49:45 --> 00:49:52
			innate in every woman. Think about
how insidious it is. Feminism has
		
00:49:52 --> 00:49:56
			taught women to advance in your
career.
		
00:49:57 --> 00:49:59
			Get rid of your unborn child
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:00
			Old
		
00:50:03 --> 00:50:07
			to advance your career to make
that career move to make more
		
00:50:07 --> 00:50:12
			money, you can get rid of it in,
in the womb.
		
00:50:14 --> 00:50:19
			At any point in time, up until
birth in some states, yeah.
		
00:50:21 --> 00:50:26
			If that is not going against
nature, I don't know what is. I
		
00:50:26 --> 00:50:33
			don't know what is it sickening to
me 16 million unborn children 60
		
00:50:33 --> 00:50:40
			million since since Roe v. Wade.
Okay. Think about, think about how
		
00:50:40 --> 00:50:44
			many women regret those decisions,
think about the the, the women
		
00:50:44 --> 00:50:49
			that you know, have been hurt by
it. And that and this is what
		
00:50:49 --> 00:50:54
			feminism does. This is what you
know, this ideology does, it
		
00:50:54 --> 00:51:02
			completely distorts a woman's true
nature fitrah her nature, yep. It
		
00:51:02 --> 00:51:07
			in it manipulates her to think,
you know, oh, you can be better
		
00:51:07 --> 00:51:12
			than this, oh, you you advance
your life, it's your life and no
		
00:51:12 --> 00:51:19
			one else's life. My role as a wife
is to serve my family. That is my
		
00:51:19 --> 00:51:24
			role. And it's a beautiful thing,
when you can do that, right? It's
		
00:51:24 --> 00:51:29
			a beautiful day I wake, if I knew
the love that I have for my
		
00:51:29 --> 00:51:34
			daughter. If I even knew a
fraction of that, in my 20s, I
		
00:51:34 --> 00:51:38
			would have never waited this long.
I would have never waited this,
		
00:51:39 --> 00:51:45
			the the amount of happiness and
joy and emotion that I have, like,
		
00:51:45 --> 00:51:51
			it makes me so it makes me it
doesn't I'm not regretful of my
		
00:51:51 --> 00:51:56
			decisions, I own them. And I
understand that I've made them and
		
00:51:56 --> 00:52:00
			I have to live with them for the
rest of my life. But if I knew
		
00:52:01 --> 00:52:04
			this love, I would have had six of
them.
		
00:52:07 --> 00:52:11
			And I'm a good mom, you know, and
I didn't know that I was going to
		
00:52:11 --> 00:52:17
			be an amazing mama. And I say that
because, you know, I have I
		
00:52:17 --> 00:52:21
			observe and I'm an observant
person and like, the love that my
		
00:52:21 --> 00:52:24
			husband and I give to our
daughters like shoot like she
		
00:52:24 --> 00:52:26
			hopefully she's gonna grow up
really well.
		
00:52:28 --> 00:52:31
			Hopefully we have more of that.
But hopefully you do.
		
00:52:33 --> 00:52:38
			But I wish women could feel that
little bit of that love of a child
		
00:52:38 --> 00:52:40
			looking at you and being like,
		
00:52:41 --> 00:52:46
			just smiling and laughing and you
know, of course they grow up. I'm
		
00:52:46 --> 00:52:47
			sure you can talk to that.
		
00:52:50 --> 00:52:54
			Now I allowed to say anything in
the comments than AWS right now
		
00:52:54 --> 00:52:57
			Masha Allah, but this is this is
the this is the human this is this
		
00:52:57 --> 00:53:01
			is how we're programmed, aren't we
as human beings, as parents, as
		
00:53:01 --> 00:53:04
			mothers so that our young can
survive, because we don't have
		
00:53:04 --> 00:53:08
			kittens that can survive on their
own after three to six months, you
		
00:53:08 --> 00:53:12
			know what I mean? like ours take a
little bit longer. So they need
		
00:53:12 --> 00:53:18
			like, we need to have that, that
instinctual love and sense of
		
00:53:18 --> 00:53:20
			protection, you know, for our
young because, you know, they're
		
00:53:20 --> 00:53:23
			going to be relying on us, right.
And, you know, going back to a
		
00:53:23 --> 00:53:26
			point that that was I think I was
trying to make earlier which is
		
00:53:27 --> 00:53:32
			it's cute in your 20s is cute in
your 30s. But you know, when
		
00:53:32 --> 00:53:36
			you're in your 40s and 50s. It's
again, it reminds me of some of
		
00:53:36 --> 00:53:38
			the conversations we've seen in
the manosphere where we've got
		
00:53:38 --> 00:53:43
			women out there trying to live
their best lives, instead of
		
00:53:43 --> 00:53:47
			enjoying their children's success
and celebrating their children's
		
00:53:47 --> 00:53:50
			marriages and celebrating their
grandchildren and being
		
00:53:50 --> 00:53:55
			grandmothers and, you know, and
being the elders of the community.
		
00:53:55 --> 00:54:00
			So those women that made choices
that meant that they never had
		
00:54:00 --> 00:54:03
			children, of course, there's
always the COPE, right? I'm the
		
00:54:03 --> 00:54:07
			best Auntie, I'm the rich auntie.
I'm the you know, the eccentric
		
00:54:07 --> 00:54:11
			auntie. But let's be real for a
second guys. And I want to level
		
00:54:11 --> 00:54:16
			with everybody here, right?
Because, like, we all know that
		
00:54:16 --> 00:54:22
			human beings are social creatures
are not designed to be alone. But
		
00:54:22 --> 00:54:27
			society forces us to live apart
from our family groups. Go back a
		
00:54:27 --> 00:54:31
			few generations, even if there was
that auntie who didn't get
		
00:54:31 --> 00:54:35
			married, she would be in the
family. Yes, she'd be living with
		
00:54:35 --> 00:54:38
			people she would be living with
the other people of her age and
		
00:54:38 --> 00:54:41
			the younger generation you had
intergenerational living you'd be
		
00:54:41 --> 00:54:45
			homesteading, she's useful. She's
She's part of things right. That's
		
00:54:45 --> 00:54:51
			not the society that we live in
today. So I we talk about, you
		
00:54:51 --> 00:54:55
			know, men who are who don't manage
to pair up and we know the
		
00:54:55 --> 00:54:59
			loneliness that many of them will
feel right and that sense of
		
00:54:59 --> 00:54:59
			isolation.
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:04
			So I also think that this lie that
we're selling women about, you
		
00:55:04 --> 00:55:08
			know, basically, it'll, it'll all
work itself out, when you're in
		
00:55:08 --> 00:55:10
			your 40s and your 50s. And you
have not had a healthy
		
00:55:10 --> 00:55:14
			relationship and you're on your
own. And it's bad enough with
		
00:55:14 --> 00:55:19
			parents, in today's day and age,
that they don't get to see their
		
00:55:19 --> 00:55:24
			kids more times. Right, most, you
know, parents, grandparents,
		
00:55:24 --> 00:55:26
			they're gonna see their
grandchildren a few times a month
		
00:55:26 --> 00:55:31
			at best for most people, if that,
let alone aunts who didn't get
		
00:55:31 --> 00:55:36
			married, you know, sisters who are
not married, and they're just on
		
00:55:36 --> 00:55:36
			their own, and
		
00:55:38 --> 00:55:42
			the weight of this life that we
live, right, and the challenges
		
00:55:42 --> 00:55:47
			that we face health scares, deaths
of loved ones loss, and you're
		
00:55:47 --> 00:55:52
			facing all of that on your own,
you don't have a spouse, somebody
		
00:55:52 --> 00:55:56
			who's checking in with you,
someone to come home to, like I
		
00:55:56 --> 00:55:59
			said, What are the advertisers
going to tell those women now?
		
00:56:00 --> 00:56:03
			Because all they can offer them is
more wine to drink and animals to
		
00:56:03 --> 00:56:07
			raise? Right? And this cats and
dogs? And that's not going to fill
		
00:56:07 --> 00:56:09
			the void? That's that's the sad
thing, I think.
		
00:56:11 --> 00:56:17
			But yeah, yeah, you nailed it, you
absolutely nailed it. It's sad.
		
00:56:17 --> 00:56:20
			It's really sad. And this is, you
know, this is primarily why I
		
00:56:20 --> 00:56:27
			speak on YouTube. Because, who's,
who's advocating for this? There's
		
00:56:27 --> 00:56:32
			a small group of us, sure. But the
majority of the things that you're
		
00:56:32 --> 00:56:37
			seeing on social media is being a
thought rocket, on Instagram. And,
		
00:56:37 --> 00:56:43
			you know, being an *
model, when 18 year old girls that
		
00:56:43 --> 00:56:48
			are coming out of high school,
strive to be an * model,
		
00:56:48 --> 00:56:52
			we have a problem in our general,
like, we have a problem in our
		
00:56:52 --> 00:56:57
			society, we need to fix whatever
is going on. Because, you know,
		
00:56:57 --> 00:57:02
			this is this is a huge problem.
And, and it's, like you said it's
		
00:57:02 --> 00:57:07
			the destruction of the nuclear
family. When you allow children to
		
00:57:07 --> 00:57:13
			be raised by the state, you lose
control of your children. Point
		
00:57:13 --> 00:57:18
			blank period. Yeah, yeah, they are
now the states to manipulate to
		
00:57:18 --> 00:57:24
			mold to whatever, this is why
we're seeing a lot of this trans
		
00:57:24 --> 00:57:30
			ideology, you know, gender
ideology being pushed to younger
		
00:57:30 --> 00:57:35
			and younger kids. 342. They're
saying that, you know, young
		
00:57:35 --> 00:57:37
			children can can
		
00:57:38 --> 00:57:39
			transition
		
00:57:40 --> 00:57:45
			socially, at a younger ages. And
I'm like, What are these parents
		
00:57:45 --> 00:57:50
			doing? What are these parents
doing? And it's incredible to me,
		
00:57:50 --> 00:57:55
			you know, that. I mean, I talked
about this to the narcissism that
		
00:57:55 --> 00:57:59
			we're seeing, because these
mothers are right art are being
		
00:57:59 --> 00:58:03
			told to go to social media, to do
whatever the Kardashians are doing
		
00:58:03 --> 00:58:06
			to do whatever social media
influencers are doing. And all
		
00:58:06 --> 00:58:12
			we're seeing is bad, the nasty,
the dirty, the disgusting. And
		
00:58:12 --> 00:58:17
			when we speak, right, we're
countercultural, where we're
		
00:58:18 --> 00:58:19
			controversial.
		
00:58:21 --> 00:58:26
			A decade ago, this was pretty
normal. This was pretty much
		
00:58:27 --> 00:58:31
			what's crazy is actually I
remember somebody saying, how five
		
00:58:31 --> 00:58:36
			years ago, even even just five
years ago, nobody would have
		
00:58:36 --> 00:58:39
			Arthur would have thought that a
question like What is a woman
		
00:58:40 --> 00:58:44
			would be controversial? Correct. A
question that cannot be answered
		
00:58:44 --> 00:58:48
			in public. Nobody would say that
three, five years ago. And you
		
00:58:48 --> 00:58:51
			know, you know, as you said about
the state raising the children, I
		
00:58:51 --> 00:58:56
			think there's something else to to
add to that, which is that, really
		
00:58:56 --> 00:58:59
			what we're seeing is there's the
state on the one hand, which I
		
00:58:59 --> 00:59:02
			guess you could say is through
legislation and education
		
00:59:02 --> 00:59:06
			education system, right. But what
about the media? Oh, yeah. What
		
00:59:06 --> 00:59:10
			about the advertising? What about
Hollywood? What about the music?
		
00:59:10 --> 00:59:14
			It's all along the same lines.
It's like, there's a playbook and
		
00:59:14 --> 00:59:17
			everybody's, you know, is reading
off the same playbook. It's
		
00:59:17 --> 00:59:23
			following the same rules. And, you
know, I, I always say to young
		
00:59:23 --> 00:59:27
			parents, I, for some of us, it's
too late. But for some of you, you
		
00:59:27 --> 00:59:32
			still have time to not to give
your children access to screens,
		
00:59:32 --> 00:59:37
			like, almost period, right?
Because the reason I say almost
		
00:59:37 --> 00:59:40
			period is because a lot of parents
think I'll let them have a little
		
00:59:40 --> 00:59:45
			bit and I'll monitor it, and I'll
control it, especially when it not
		
00:59:45 --> 00:59:50
			devices. And yeah, it's, it's,
it's just, it's a pipe dream.
		
00:59:50 --> 00:59:54
			Because literally, that phone that
you give your child to play with
		
00:59:54 --> 00:59:58
			while you're busy doing X, Y and
Zed if it's a gateway drug, right?
		
00:59:58 --> 01:00:00
			Yeah, as you said, even your
daughter No
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:04
			is how to work your watch, you
know, they pick it up. And it's
		
01:00:04 --> 01:00:08
			really the values that you see on
Netflix, the values that you're
		
01:00:08 --> 01:00:12
			hearing in the music, the values
on tick tock, that's what they are
		
01:00:12 --> 01:00:18
			imbibing all the time. And another
reason why I'm advocating for more
		
01:00:18 --> 01:00:23
			parents to make some hard choices
about a partner staying at home,
		
01:00:23 --> 01:00:26
			because in today's economic
climate, it's not the easy choice.
		
01:00:26 --> 01:00:29
			It's certainly not the normal
choice, like it was, say, in the
		
01:00:29 --> 01:00:35
			50s, or whatever. But to really
make some serious decisions about
		
01:00:36 --> 01:00:41
			a parent's staying at home, is
because being able to speak to
		
01:00:41 --> 01:00:46
			your children, and having the
bandwidth, right, not just the
		
01:00:46 --> 01:00:50
			time, it's the bandwidth, you've
got two parents who are working
		
01:00:50 --> 01:00:53
			stressful jobs, whether they're
high powered jobs, or not just
		
01:00:53 --> 01:00:57
			that they're working stressful
jobs, when they come home, they
		
01:00:57 --> 01:01:01
			don't have the bandwidth, they
want to detach, right? Exactly. So
		
01:01:01 --> 01:01:05
			anything that helps them to manage
the children, they're going to go
		
01:01:05 --> 01:01:07
			for it, whether it's TV, whether
it's Netflix, whether it's giving
		
01:01:07 --> 01:01:10
			them an iPad, let them have a
phone, whatever the case may be.
		
01:01:10 --> 01:01:14
			And that's one of the ways that
we're losing our children is if
		
01:01:14 --> 01:01:18
			traditionally, is the mother in
the home, the mother who is
		
01:01:18 --> 01:01:21
			monitoring what's happening, who's
talking to the children, who's
		
01:01:21 --> 01:01:24
			listening to them, who's getting
to know them, finding out what's
		
01:01:24 --> 01:01:27
			happening at school, you know,
like keeping up with the books,
		
01:01:27 --> 01:01:29
			they're reading like that last.
		
01:01:30 --> 01:01:35
			It's like, you know, it, I see
people online all the time talking
		
01:01:35 --> 01:01:38
			about going back to that life,
about homeschooling their kids
		
01:01:39 --> 01:01:42
			about, you know, leaving work so
that they can work from home.
		
01:01:42 --> 01:01:45
			Also, they can just concentrate on
these children, because, like I
		
01:01:45 --> 01:01:49
			said, if we are too distracted to
raise these kids, trust them
		
01:01:49 --> 01:01:54
			believe someone else is doing
them. Exactly, exactly. And I want
		
01:01:54 --> 01:01:58
			to touch on something that you
said as well. Right? You know,
		
01:01:58 --> 01:02:05
			it's like, in, in everything, it's
all strategy, it's all having the
		
01:02:05 --> 01:02:10
			foresight as well. So my husband
is the primary breadwinner of our
		
01:02:10 --> 01:02:15
			household, he goes to work, I stay
at home, we live in a we live in
		
01:02:15 --> 01:02:20
			an amazing area. We have an
amazing life. We live below our
		
01:02:20 --> 01:02:24
			like, we live out our means, okay?
We're not living these lavish
		
01:02:24 --> 01:02:28
			lifestyles, if people could dial
back the amount of Starbucks, they
		
01:02:28 --> 01:02:33
			drink, the amount of things that
they're buying on Amazon, because
		
01:02:33 --> 01:02:37
			trust and believe, like, Amazon's
a button away. And there's things
		
01:02:37 --> 01:02:41
			showing up at the house every two
seconds. It's about discipline,
		
01:02:41 --> 01:02:46
			okay? And having the understanding
that like, you can budget this
		
01:02:46 --> 01:02:52
			stuff in I know a family. I know
multiple people that, that the
		
01:02:52 --> 01:02:57
			woman stays at home, the mom stays
at home. One of them has seven
		
01:02:57 --> 01:03:00
			children, and she's going about
she's pregnant with her eighth
		
01:03:00 --> 01:03:04
			child, I have another friend who
has she's working on her fifth
		
01:03:04 --> 01:03:06
			child, okay.
		
01:03:08 --> 01:03:09
			She's percolating in.
		
01:03:10 --> 01:03:12
			He's got a bun in the oven. Oh,
she's something else.
		
01:03:14 --> 01:03:21
			So So, and they and they live. And
they live? Well in their means,
		
01:03:21 --> 01:03:25
			right? It's these lavish
lifestyles that people want to
		
01:03:25 --> 01:03:28
			portray for social media. So of
course, you have to have these
		
01:03:28 --> 01:03:34
			high skilled jobs, because we know
that if you just paid the if you
		
01:03:34 --> 01:03:38
			just lived in the right house,
with the right house payment,
		
01:03:38 --> 01:03:42
			right, your right mortgage
payment, didn't buy the luxury
		
01:03:42 --> 01:03:47
			cars, the luxury vehicles go on
those luxury trips, you can save a
		
01:03:47 --> 01:03:52
			lot of money. And guess what your
wife can stay at home. And mind
		
01:03:52 --> 01:03:57
			you a lot of a lot of jobs are now
online, part time work. There's
		
01:03:58 --> 01:04:02
			there's this there's this website
called the mom project, and you
		
01:04:02 --> 01:04:07
			can get part time jobs from the
comfort of your home. Right. And
		
01:04:07 --> 01:04:13
			so what I'm saying is that, if you
do require to, to income
		
01:04:13 --> 01:04:19
			household, there are ways to do it
without both parents leaving the
		
01:04:19 --> 01:04:25
			home. Right. And hopefully, it's
the mother staying to raise the
		
01:04:25 --> 01:04:30
			children. And for us, I want to
homeschool. I want to homeschool
		
01:04:30 --> 01:04:35
			River and hopefully more children
that we have. Because I see like,
		
01:04:35 --> 01:04:40
			first of all, that's a full time
job like homeschooling all of
		
01:04:40 --> 01:04:45
			that, right or finding a school
that doesn't have the ideologies
		
01:04:45 --> 01:04:49
			that we that we see. But it all
infiltrates and so we have to be
		
01:04:49 --> 01:04:54
			very mindful of it and allowing
the allowing the mother to be at
		
01:04:54 --> 01:04:58
			home to really understand these
things because we we know like we
		
01:04:58 --> 01:04:59
			know what our children are into
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:03
			Stress, we know when our children
are going through something we
		
01:05:03 --> 01:05:08
			pick on that we pick up on that
very, very easily, right? So we
		
01:05:08 --> 01:05:12
			can tune into what our children
need at the time that they need
		
01:05:12 --> 01:05:16
			it. And trust and believe it's not
an iPad, trust and believe it's
		
01:05:16 --> 01:05:20
			not putting the TV on, you know,
and I mean, and so we have to be
		
01:05:20 --> 01:05:25
			mindful and strategic in our, in
our decisions that we're making
		
01:05:25 --> 01:05:30
			and how we spend our money and how
we operate our household. Right.
		
01:05:30 --> 01:05:35
			And I think, I think if more
people sat down and budgeted it
		
01:05:35 --> 01:05:36
			out.
		
01:05:38 --> 01:05:42
			It could work for a lot more
people than we think maybe if it's
		
01:05:42 --> 01:05:47
			not in a big city, maybe you have
to move out of that big city to be
		
01:05:47 --> 01:05:52
			in a in a better in a bigger home,
a bigger environment, whatever,
		
01:05:53 --> 01:05:58
			right. But these decisions are not
easy. But they're very doable,
		
01:05:58 --> 01:06:02
			still in this economy, still, with
inflation still with these things?
		
01:06:02 --> 01:06:07
			Because I see many people doing
it, many people doing it. So that
		
01:06:07 --> 01:06:13
			excuse that excuse is a problem
with you and your spouse, if you
		
01:06:13 --> 01:06:19
			can't manage that, that that's the
issue. And right. Like, if that's,
		
01:06:19 --> 01:06:22
			you know, you guys have to really
have these conversations. And I
		
01:06:22 --> 01:06:28
			hope this is practical. For for
your viewers. Because 100%,
		
01:06:28 --> 01:06:31
			because I because I think that the
excuses always going to be out
		
01:06:31 --> 01:06:36
			there. Inflation. Did you see gas
prices? Do you know what groceries
		
01:06:36 --> 01:06:41
			costs? Just says I do. And I make
sure that I that I cut my chicken
		
01:06:41 --> 01:06:46
			correctly. And I make sure I make
my meals stretch? Right?
		
01:06:47 --> 01:06:52
			And I'm very, I'm very mindful of
how I'm going to prepare these
		
01:06:52 --> 01:06:56
			meals, how I'm going to what I
need for my children? Do they need
		
01:06:56 --> 01:07:00
			all of the toys? No, you could
probably do away with it. You can
		
01:07:00 --> 01:07:04
			shop secondhand, there are many
things that you can do
		
01:07:04 --> 01:07:10
			practically, that don't take a lot
of effort in order to save that
		
01:07:10 --> 01:07:16
			money. So that hopefully you can
transition out of the workforce
		
01:07:16 --> 01:07:17
			and into the home.
		
01:07:18 --> 01:07:22
			I'm off my soapbox. I love it.
This is so so good. And you know,
		
01:07:22 --> 01:07:23
			as you said, you know,
		
01:07:24 --> 01:07:28
			it's doable, right? But also
there's, I think it requires two
		
01:07:28 --> 01:07:33
			things. One is the will has to be
there. Right? You have to know
		
01:07:33 --> 01:07:38
			what you want to do and why right.
So if you are wanting to cut costs
		
01:07:38 --> 01:07:41
			or to to live more simply or for
one, you know, for the woman to
		
01:07:41 --> 01:07:46
			stay home, you need to have a
really a good reason why. Okay,
		
01:07:46 --> 01:07:49
			and for many of us, it's a faith
imperative, right? Certainly
		
01:07:49 --> 01:07:53
			within my audience, you know, if
we've got women who are making a
		
01:07:53 --> 01:07:56
			decision to say, you know, what,
the tarbiyah the nurturing, and
		
01:07:56 --> 01:08:01
			the education of my children is my
primary responsibility. And that
		
01:08:01 --> 01:08:05
			is what God is going to ask me
about. When I meet him. He's not
		
01:08:05 --> 01:08:08
			going to ask me about whether I
got to work on time, per se,
		
01:08:08 --> 01:08:12
			whether I hit the sales targets,
whether I hit a million bucks or
		
01:08:12 --> 01:08:16
			whatever, he is going to ask me. I
entrusted you with these children.
		
01:08:17 --> 01:08:20
			What did you do with them? I
entrusted you with this man with
		
01:08:20 --> 01:08:23
			his husband. What did you do with
him? I entrusted you with these
		
01:08:23 --> 01:08:26
			parents. What did you do with
them? Right? So there's the the
		
01:08:26 --> 01:08:30
			the why of the peace. And also
understanding that this this
		
01:08:30 --> 01:08:36
			lifestyle, as you said, it's a
full time gig, being present,
		
01:08:37 --> 01:08:41
			mentally and physically, right
being, you know, creative and
		
01:08:41 --> 01:08:46
			active mother, enjoying
motherhood, dare I say is a full
		
01:08:46 --> 01:08:49
			time job and you need to have your
head in the game. You need to have
		
01:08:49 --> 01:08:52
			your head in the game. Because if
you don't have your head in the
		
01:08:52 --> 01:08:57
			game, you become one of those stay
at home moms who basically you
		
01:08:57 --> 01:09:00
			know, you know what it looks like,
alright, we know what that I know
		
01:09:00 --> 01:09:05
			many of them to the house, the
home is not a priority, the
		
01:09:05 --> 01:09:07
			children are not a priority, the
children are being kind of fobbed
		
01:09:07 --> 01:09:12
			off any excuse to kind of get away
whether it's to watch you know,
		
01:09:12 --> 01:09:15
			the soaps or to be on your phone
or to go out for coffee or
		
01:09:15 --> 01:09:19
			whatever. And and that's what I
mean about firstly, having a
		
01:09:19 --> 01:09:22
			really strong intention for why
you're doing what you're doing.
		
01:09:22 --> 01:09:27
			And understand that it requires it
requires it requires all of those
		
01:09:27 --> 01:09:33
			skills and talents that we are so
eager to give to the workplace.
		
01:09:33 --> 01:09:39
			Exactly. required at home.
Exactly. Like Intel Turles Yeah,
		
01:09:39 --> 01:09:43
			so that intellect okay, that
creativity, that you know, the
		
01:09:43 --> 01:09:47
			math skills, the time management,
the you know, just the
		
01:09:47 --> 01:09:51
			organization, okay? It needs it's
needed in the home if you're going
		
01:09:51 --> 01:09:56
			to run a successful home, an
efficient home, a loving home, a
		
01:09:56 --> 01:10:00
			fun home. We need all of those
skills.
		
01:10:00 --> 01:10:03
			holes in talents that you've been
blessed with, that we want to go
		
01:10:03 --> 01:10:06
			out and run off and give to some
workplaces. Our children need them
		
01:10:06 --> 01:10:09
			our homes need them, our husbands
want us to bring our full selves
		
01:10:09 --> 01:10:14
			to this role. And subhanAllah we
can do that. The kind of children
		
01:10:14 --> 01:10:18
			that grow up in a home like that,
there's no comparison with
		
01:10:18 --> 01:10:21
			children who grow up in a home
where the mom is checked out.
		
01:10:21 --> 01:10:25
			That's actually my little soapbox,
absolutely. I tell people, my
		
01:10:25 --> 01:10:31
			husband's A C E L, I'm the CEO,
I'm the operations team over here,
		
01:10:31 --> 01:10:37
			okay. And I have to end I have to
make sure that the operations is
		
01:10:37 --> 01:10:40
			and this is me being the
entrepreneur, right? Like, I know
		
01:10:40 --> 01:10:45
			how to time manage, I know how to
do logistics. And so I'm, I'm
		
01:10:45 --> 01:10:49
			doing logistics all day long. If
you can apply the skills that you
		
01:10:49 --> 01:10:51
			learn from the workplace, the
skills that you learned from your
		
01:10:51 --> 01:10:54
			education, I'm a mechanical
engineer, best believe that my
		
01:10:54 --> 01:10:59
			daughter is going to grow up
learning math before everyone
		
01:10:59 --> 01:11:05
			else. Okay. And my and my other
children, okay. So we have that
		
01:11:05 --> 01:11:09
			was that was the primary. Like,
that was the primary role for
		
01:11:09 --> 01:11:13
			women. If you think about it, the
reason why we get educated, the
		
01:11:13 --> 01:11:16
			reason why we learned how to read
is so that we can read to our
		
01:11:16 --> 01:11:20
			children so that they we can teach
them how to read how to do math,
		
01:11:20 --> 01:11:24
			how to have the skills. And I
think it's so important. And that
		
01:11:24 --> 01:11:27
			is why the education is so
important for women, having those,
		
01:11:28 --> 01:11:32
			having those hard skills are very
important, and also the soft
		
01:11:32 --> 01:11:36
			skills for women so that we can
translate it into the home, you're
		
01:11:36 --> 01:11:43
			not deluding yourself, you're not
doing away with your old self, you
		
01:11:43 --> 01:11:47
			are transforming into the what who
you are supposed to be, you're
		
01:11:47 --> 01:11:51
			taking all those skills that you
learned all of those hard times to
		
01:11:51 --> 01:11:56
			like, like my dad used to say, you
know, it's the school of hard
		
01:11:56 --> 01:12:00
			knocks, and you're going to learn
from them. And so and so you can
		
01:12:00 --> 01:12:04
			apply them to your children, and
your children can learn these
		
01:12:04 --> 01:12:08
			skills, I would love for my
daughter, I put my daughter on the
		
01:12:08 --> 01:12:12
			calendar so she can watch me cook,
right and I and I show her
		
01:12:12 --> 01:12:14
			everything, she has no idea.
		
01:12:15 --> 01:12:19
			I was like, I'm cutting the chick
in DC, I'm putting spices we have
		
01:12:19 --> 01:12:23
			to put we have to flavor the
chicken. And she's looking at me
		
01:12:23 --> 01:12:27
			like, Okay, you are indoctrinating
that child.
		
01:12:28 --> 01:12:31
			And you better believe she's gonna
be a great cook. Okay, and her
		
01:12:31 --> 01:12:33
			husband's gonna tell me that.
		
01:12:34 --> 01:12:37
			All right, so I want to I know
that we've taken so much of your
		
01:12:37 --> 01:12:40
			time. And I know you need to rest
up after you know, your day and
		
01:12:40 --> 01:12:45
			baby's asleep. Just a couple more
questions first sure is, what will
		
01:12:45 --> 01:12:49
			you be teaching your daughter,
maybe three things that you'll
		
01:12:49 --> 01:12:52
			want to pass on to your daughter
about being a woman.
		
01:12:53 --> 01:13:01
			I want her to respect men respect,
firstly, her father, right? And
		
01:13:01 --> 01:13:06
			then her husband, because once she
leaves our home, she's going under
		
01:13:06 --> 01:13:12
			the care of her husband. And so me
being respectful to my husband and
		
01:13:12 --> 01:13:16
			showing her what love is between
husband and a wife. That is the
		
01:13:16 --> 01:13:20
			first thing I want to teach her
that that love that we have
		
01:13:21 --> 01:13:29
			is very fundamental to her to her
growing up and learning to trust
		
01:13:29 --> 01:13:32
			in a man, right, because that's
what I lacked. That's what I
		
01:13:32 --> 01:13:35
			lacked from the beginning. And
that's what turned me I was like,
		
01:13:35 --> 01:13:40
			I can't see my father, I can't
respect my father, therefore, I
		
01:13:40 --> 01:13:46
			need to be the man I need to be
the one to take over. And I don't
		
01:13:46 --> 01:13:49
			want her to experience I want to
see I want her to see a loving
		
01:13:49 --> 01:13:56
			home where, you know, I, I kiss my
husband and I hold like I hug my
		
01:13:56 --> 01:14:00
			husband when he comes in, she can
see that you know, so just the
		
01:14:00 --> 01:14:04
			living example of what it means to
be a woman what it needs, what it
		
01:14:04 --> 01:14:07
			means to be a virtuous woman what
it means to be a feminine woman.
		
01:14:07 --> 01:14:12
			But also those those those skills
like cooking and cleaning and
		
01:14:13 --> 01:14:17
			learning how to sew like learning
these things together. Right? I
		
01:14:17 --> 01:14:22
			want her to love these things. The
way that we were supposed to write
		
01:14:22 --> 01:14:26
			that nurturing nature and
hopefully she'll grow up with a
		
01:14:26 --> 01:14:30
			brother or sister and I can show
her you know, what, being a
		
01:14:30 --> 01:14:36
			pregnant like being pregnant mommy
and you know, having her love on
		
01:14:36 --> 01:14:43
			the baby and all that stuff. And,
and honestly, you know, kids, I
		
01:14:43 --> 01:14:48
			feel like I was raised amazingly,
right. Kids will always go off and
		
01:14:48 --> 01:14:52
			experience themselves they always
have their you know product. I'm
		
01:14:52 --> 01:14:55
			not saying always I shouldn't say
always. A lot of them have their
		
01:14:55 --> 01:15:00
			practical son prodigal daughter
moment, but knowing that I
		
01:15:00 --> 01:15:07
			It taught her the skills and also
our faith, right? Faith is so
		
01:15:07 --> 01:15:12
			important, and showing her how we
pray and showing her, you know,
		
01:15:12 --> 01:15:17
			respect for God. All of these
things, that's number one, I
		
01:15:17 --> 01:15:22
			should have started with that. But
that's number one, right? Because
		
01:15:22 --> 01:15:27
			that's who we are. That's who we
get our morals and values from, so
		
01:15:27 --> 01:15:32
			that we can see our physical
relationships and say, Okay,
		
01:15:32 --> 01:15:36
			that's how God, you know, God.
That's how God loves. Like,
		
01:15:36 --> 01:15:42
			exactly. And, and that's what I
want to teach her, you know, and I
		
01:15:42 --> 01:15:46
			know that she will eventually go
into the world, I know that I
		
01:15:46 --> 01:15:52
			can't control my kids, I can just
do the best job as a mother that I
		
01:15:52 --> 01:15:56
			possibly can do, and that's
hopefully instilling our morals
		
01:15:56 --> 01:15:57
			and values
		
01:15:58 --> 01:16:01
			to her and to our other children.
		
01:16:03 --> 01:16:08
			And, and yeah, that's, I mean, and
then those hard skills, I want her
		
01:16:08 --> 01:16:11
			to be a great cook. Okay, she's
gonna be, you're gonna be chef
		
01:16:11 --> 01:16:12
			river.
		
01:16:14 --> 01:16:18
			River. I love that. I love that.
And so lastly, Rebecca Barrett,
		
01:16:18 --> 01:16:24
			what do you love about being a
woman? I love everything I love. I
		
01:16:24 --> 01:16:28
			love my nurturing nature. I love
being a mom. I've never loved
		
01:16:28 --> 01:16:32
			anything more than being a mom.
And, and
		
01:16:33 --> 01:16:38
			oh, gosh, don't get emotional.
Okay. And it's okay. I know. But
		
01:16:38 --> 01:16:38
			just
		
01:16:40 --> 01:16:46
			once I stopped, once I took away
that facade, that character that I
		
01:16:46 --> 01:16:52
			was playing, I could be, I can be
at peace. I don't. I don't
		
01:16:52 --> 01:16:56
			question myself the way that I
question myself before I know who
		
01:16:56 --> 01:17:02
			I am. Right. And that's such a
beautiful thing. Because once you
		
01:17:02 --> 01:17:07
			stop questioning yourself, once
you start, stop, like, believing
		
01:17:07 --> 01:17:13
			what the world says about you,
right? You're just not. You're
		
01:17:13 --> 01:17:15
			just in peace. And
		
01:17:16 --> 01:17:23
			you can just be exactly. And I'm
not apologetic for being a good
		
01:17:23 --> 01:17:27
			mom. I'm not apologetic for being
a homemaker. I'm not apologetic
		
01:17:27 --> 01:17:30
			for loving my husband the way that
I do. I'm not apologetic for any
		
01:17:30 --> 01:17:35
			of these things, because that is
who I'm supposed to be. Right?
		
01:17:35 --> 01:17:38
			That's, that's who we're supposed
to be. And it's such a beautiful
		
01:17:38 --> 01:17:42
			thing when you can tap into that,
when you see the strength. When I
		
01:17:42 --> 01:17:46
			delivered my daughter, I deliver
her all natural in a pool of
		
01:17:46 --> 01:17:55
			water. Okay, I baby. I felt what
the empowerment that I felt I was
		
01:17:55 --> 01:17:58
			like, I am Superwoman. I
		
01:18:00 --> 01:18:04
			know. And that's a feeling that no
one can take away from me that
		
01:18:04 --> 01:18:09
			ability to carry this baby, all
the way to birth and experience
		
01:18:09 --> 01:18:16
			that it's like our bodies are
powerful are like, and I wish, I
		
01:18:16 --> 01:18:22
			wish that's something that women
knew is like, our femininity is so
		
01:18:23 --> 01:18:28
			powerful, right? Submitting to our
husband is a powerful thing,
		
01:18:28 --> 01:18:33
			because it's easy to rebel to
Rasmi it's easy to rebel, right?
		
01:18:33 --> 01:18:39
			But having that discipline, having
that ability to just trust in what
		
01:18:39 --> 01:18:44
			he has to do. I can just rest. I'm
not stressed. I'm not on
		
01:18:44 --> 01:18:50
			antidepressants. I'm not on. Like,
I don't drink alcohol, I can just
		
01:18:50 --> 01:18:57
			live my life and I feel free for
the first time in my life. I feel
		
01:18:57 --> 01:19:03
			free from what the world says I
have to be what the world wanted
		
01:19:03 --> 01:19:08
			me to be and all of these like
burdens and, and chips on my
		
01:19:08 --> 01:19:14
			shoulder. I feel free. And it's so
amazing. I wish more women could
		
01:19:14 --> 01:19:21
			feel this feeling of freedom of
like, oh, like taking that deep
		
01:19:21 --> 01:19:26
			breath from within and like just
relaxing. And
		
01:19:27 --> 01:19:32
			that's what I mean. That's a whole
long winded that's beautifully
		
01:19:32 --> 01:19:37
			said of why I love being a woman
and I love being in my feminine.
		
01:19:38 --> 01:19:43
			Sounds like you love being this
woman. This woman that you are now
		
01:19:43 --> 01:19:48
			who is on her purpose, right? Who
is doing what she was created to
		
01:19:48 --> 01:19:54
			do this. That's what I'm hearing.
Yeah. And I smile more. I lost my
		
01:19:54 --> 01:19:59
			smile. It's crazy. People are
like, wow, you're like you're
		
01:19:59 --> 01:19:59
			glowing. I'm
		
01:20:00 --> 01:20:05
			Like, No, I'm just happy like, and
it changes you. I'm telling you
		
01:20:05 --> 01:20:09
			when I was, I'm gonna send you a
photo of me. When I was a
		
01:20:09 --> 01:20:11
			feminist. You're gonna see, okay.
		
01:20:13 --> 01:20:16
			I am familiar guys, you can go to
her channel to see she's got a
		
01:20:16 --> 01:20:20
			video with pictorial evidence.
Yeah, no, I, I've seen the
		
01:20:20 --> 01:20:23
			transformation. And it's a
beautiful thing to see well as a
		
01:20:23 --> 01:20:28
			mom of five. I want to send you
lots of love and light to you and
		
01:20:28 --> 01:20:32
			your baby and your husband and in
sha Allah, God Willing your
		
01:20:32 --> 01:20:33
			growing family.
		
01:20:36 --> 01:20:37
			Keep us posted.
		
01:20:38 --> 01:20:41
			Where can people find you? How can
people reach out to you tell us
		
01:20:41 --> 01:20:47
			where to reach you? Yes. So I am
on YouTube. At Rebecca Barrett is
		
01:20:47 --> 01:20:53
			my name. You can search me there.
And then I'm also on Instagram.
		
01:20:53 --> 01:20:59
			Not really. I just, you know, I'm
just not one that I just pop in
		
01:20:59 --> 01:21:03
			here and there to make people
upset, apparently. But you can
		
01:21:03 --> 01:21:10
			find me on Instagram and Tiktok at
I am Rebecca Barrett. And yeah,
		
01:21:10 --> 01:21:13
			and I also have a podcast if
people don't know this as well.
		
01:21:13 --> 01:21:16
			It's called probably problematic.
It's different.
		
01:21:17 --> 01:21:20
			It's different from my YouTube
content. It's more political. I
		
01:21:20 --> 01:21:24
			love talking about you know,
political commentary, social
		
01:21:24 --> 01:21:27
			commentary, things of that nature.
So if you want to find me there as
		
01:21:27 --> 01:21:27
			well.
		
01:21:28 --> 01:21:33
			We I hosted with four other women
and they're amazing. But yeah,
		
01:21:33 --> 01:21:36
			that's where you could find me. I
love it. Love it. Love it. Thank
		
01:21:36 --> 01:21:40
			you so much. This I am so it was
just wonderful. You guys could see
		
01:21:40 --> 01:21:42
			well, those of you who know me on
this channel, you can see I'm
		
01:21:42 --> 01:21:43
			chiming.
		
01:21:45 --> 01:21:50
			I'm teasing. That was just so so
wonderful. Thank you so much. Now
		
01:21:50 --> 01:21:55
			this is over to you guys. It is
time for you to pay your dues. It
		
01:21:55 --> 01:21:59
			is time for you to put in the
comments. What did you love about
		
01:21:59 --> 01:22:02
			this conversation? What are your
takeaways? What are your
		
01:22:02 --> 01:22:06
			reflections on the conversation
that we had, make sure that you
		
01:22:06 --> 01:22:08
			give the video a thumbs up, make
sure that you subscribe to the
		
01:22:08 --> 01:22:11
			channel and make sure that you
follow and go and check out
		
01:22:11 --> 01:22:16
			Rebecca Rebecca Barrett's channel
as well. We are not stopping this
		
01:22:16 --> 01:22:20
			conversation. We are continuing
with this conversation and we are
		
01:22:20 --> 01:22:25
			not going to stop talking about
womanhood and the challenges that
		
01:22:25 --> 01:22:30
			womanhood is facing and
reclaiming. Really, if I can say
		
01:22:30 --> 01:22:37
			natural womanhood, reclaiming the
space to be women, fully women.
		
01:22:37 --> 01:22:43
			And hopefully my goal is to
inspire the next generation coming
		
01:22:43 --> 01:22:48
			up with natural womanhood and
getting them excited about what it
		
01:22:48 --> 01:22:51
			really means to be a woman. So
Rebecca, thank you so much. It's
		
01:22:51 --> 01:22:56
			been a fantastic, fantastic
conversation. Love to you guys.
		
01:22:56 --> 01:22:59
			And thank you everybody. So
		
01:23:01 --> 01:23:01
			much