Naima B. Robert – TMC Episode 6 Clip Not Every Muslim Marriage is the Same! REMINDER

Naima B. Robert
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The speakers discuss the importance of commitment to marriage in society, particularly in the Islamic society. They acknowledge that marriage is a core values in the religion, but it is also a core values in modern society. The speakers also touch on the confusion surrounding roles and responsibilities in marriage, and how it can lead to chaos and chaos in society.

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			commitment is something that is
key to the institution of
		
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			marriage.
		
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			I know, in the past, there was a
taboo of having a divorce. But now
		
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			we have moved to another extreme
where any troubles happen. We
		
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			think, Oh, I can't deal with him,
or I'm not gonna tolerate this.
		
00:00:25 --> 00:00:31
			The thing is, in every situation
in life, there has to be a level
		
00:00:31 --> 00:00:36
			of effort, commitment, and
struggle, whether that students
		
00:00:36 --> 00:00:40
			studying for GCSEs, whether it's a
businessman trying to make
		
00:00:40 --> 00:00:43
			profits, he's not going to just
quit just because he's facing a
		
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			hurdle, or difficulty. He's going
to make it work because he's
		
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			committed.
		
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			How does the Islamic model of
marriage differ from what we have
		
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			learned from popular culture from
the media, you know, Hollywood's
		
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			Bollywood songs, etc? How would
you say the Islamic model differs
		
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			from what we've been taught?
		
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			And that in that Bismillah
Alhamdulillah, WA Salatu was Salam
		
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			ala Rasulillah, Allah, Allah, he
was happy when I love. So very,
		
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			very good question. My Maya, and I
think it's very relevant to our
		
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			time, because we are affected by
the society that we live in. And
		
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			what we see what we hear, or to be
exposed to naturally has an impact
		
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			on our attitude, our behavior, our
mindsets, and our expectation. And
		
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			I think when we look around, we
see in the popular culture,
		
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			Bollywood, Hollywood, Lollywood,
you know, all the words.
		
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			Yeah, the idea of marriage has
changed over the years generation.
		
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			And what I tend to see in the
news, in documentaries, and in
		
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			different short stories that's out
there.
		
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			It's actually feeding people
certain ways of thinking with
		
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			regards to marriage. And I think
it's lacking this whole idea of
		
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			being committed.
		
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			Commitment is something that is
key to the institution of
		
00:02:21 --> 00:02:22
			marriage.
		
00:02:24 --> 00:02:30
			I know, in the past, there was a
taboo of having a divorce. But now
		
00:02:30 --> 00:02:35
			we have moved to another extreme,
where any troubles happen. We
		
00:02:35 --> 00:02:39
			think, Oh, I can't deal with him.
Or I'm not gonna tolerate this.
		
00:02:39 --> 00:02:46
			The thing is, in every situation
in life, there has to be a level
		
00:02:46 --> 00:02:50
			of effort, commitment, and
struggle, whether that students
		
00:02:50 --> 00:02:55
			studying for GCSEs, whether it's a
businessman, trying to make
		
00:02:55 --> 00:02:59
			profits, is not going to just quit
just because he's facing a hurdle,
		
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			or difficulty, he's going to make
it work because he's committed a
		
00:03:04 --> 00:03:09
			student who's struggling with a
levels or GCSEs or degree, he
		
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			doesn't think, oh my god, this is
too much, I'm gonna quit. If he
		
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			does, what happens in 510 years
time, he hasn't got a degree or he
		
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			hasn't got his A levels or GCSEs.
Similarly,
		
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			when we look at marriage, and if
we feel that you know what, I'm
		
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			going to quit because it's too
hard, then you're not going to
		
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			have a successful marriage or long
lasting marriage. Now, everything
		
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			in life we need to understand
		
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			that is meaningful, beneficial, is
not going to come with ease. It's
		
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			gonna require you to work for it
people who are successful
		
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			businessman or successful
		
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			say, in the studies, or research,
whatever form of success you look
		
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			at, if you look into their life,
you will see there's a lot of
		
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			sacrifice hard work, commitment,
and priorities. So, I think this
		
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			is number one thing that we are
seeing in the popular culture,
		
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			lack of commitment, and confusion
of roles.
		
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			Talk on it, talk on it Talk That
Talk with me and my husband, we
		
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			were watching this program, but
home improvement, you know, like
		
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			when you do like the declaration,
you know, when you do extra, you
		
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			know, like,
		
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			like transformation of kitchen
and, you know, living room area.
		
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			So this program on BBC iPlayer and
		
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			the the designers always struggle
with what the man wants and what
		
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			the woman wants. And this
particular episode was about the
		
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			kitchen extension.
		
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			And the kitchen was the man's
domain in that particular episode,
		
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			so the woman is thinking I just
want everything to be clean and
		
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			tidy.
		
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			it and he's like the chef. And I
thought to myself, I wouldn't want
		
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			my husband to really like in a
heavy say in the kitchen, because
		
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			that I feel is my area. And I take
pride in that because I really
		
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			like cooking and I like to try
different recipes. And you know,
		
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			this is my area and and I wouldn't
like not interference by order,
		
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			like, oh, you know, certain like
suggestions do like this didn't
		
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			like that. I would want to design
the area, the way I would see it
		
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			fitting for what I want to do the
food I want to cook. So there was
		
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			this, like confusion is battling.
And I was thinking to myself, like
		
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			you know, that doesn't sound
right. Why? Because I just find
		
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			when people step into different
roles, just like in workplace.
		
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			There's this chaos because nobody
knows what they're supposed to do.
		
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			And everyone's trying to
interfere. And there's no like,
		
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			clarity of who is responsible,
what area. So anyway, he was quite
		
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			interested to see in the end, they
have to compromise and that's the
		
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			reality of life you have to
compromise.
		
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			So I find a lot of confusion of
roles, whereas Islamically or the
		
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			guidelines that we have in our
deen there's a clearer view of
		
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			what is to be desired for
marriage. In terms of the vision
		
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			for marriage, what is the vision
for marriage, what is the goal,
		
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			what is the purpose? And what are
the responsibilities