Naima B. Robert – TMC E4 Clip What are the Benefits of Poly The Second Wife’s Perspective
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The speakers discuss the benefits of being part of a certain situation and growth, including learning and growth. They stress the importance of growth, learning from past experiences, and giving back to parents and children. The conversation also touches on the difficulties of growing up in a family and the importance of learning from one's legacy.
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Was it difficult for you to, to submit to? Look, look look at the
face? I
mean, not to you
know, I used that word is it. It's a trigger word you see around
here. So I say the word submit, but was it easy for you to accept
the leadership of, you know, Coach Nazir and kind of be a part of
this particular hole? Or what was that journey? Like?
Okay, so Masha, Allah says, you came into this situation. And I
know, mashallah, a lot of, you know, a lot of the viewers either
maybe have been in that situation, or may be thinking, Well, who
would that person be? So for you, as the subsequent wife coming in,
you had two children of your own? What would you say have been the
benefits of this dynamic of polygyny for you?
I think, like, a lot of work, double growth, growth, I think was
the biggest thing, biggest benefit. And it's a continual
process of growth of growing, learning, learning people,
learning, personalities, different things. So growth is high.
Now, personally, really
interesting situation.
My mentality was this
big family, I would become the person I don't like, I noticed. So
you know,
we have my family was blended. When I grew up. They were
practically
that was a whole other story with a call with, you know, he married
to someone who's married.
It was the difference I had. And I live with that. Mike, the joy of
togetherness and family and things like that. And that's what I saw,
in my mind initially.
Talk about that.
So the growth and clarity, not just because sometimes I can look
at it, and I said, Okay, well, I can insert is, you know, naive in
it, because of what I saw when I come.
But I don't think so I don't look at as naive, I looked at as
I'm hopeful.
Also, like,
two sides of the same coin, two sides of the same coin.
Which is because in my mind, I saw where we are, I saw that. So this
is not something that
is a journey. So it's a journey is is growth is learning. And to me
that is a
beautiful benefit of polygyny period, whether it's, you know,
our story, or anyone else's, if you're willing to grow, if you're
willing to learn, if you're willing to take yourself out of
the equation where it's just totally about your feelings, or
wants, or desires, those type of things, then you open your mind
and open your heart and open yourself up to learn more and
growing more and being well rounded. Instead of seeing
something as a one sided type of thing. So yeah, growth was the
biggest benefit. The beautiful family is an additional benefit.
And I did come from
I came from being a single parent twice around. However, those who
are a little bit familiar with the story channel whenever I was
raised by single mom who was raised by a single mom, so that
was a that was new to me. I wasn't the person that was yeah, let me
go seek the searching for a husband type of thing. Because
seriously, that was really what do you knew
I'm a woman, I can take care of it. I can take care of this.
However, when you grow and you mature and you realize that that's
not what it's supposed to be about, when you want to share your
triumphs with people you want to, you know, have companionship, we
want to do that and do that the right way. That part's you know,
and I've had a failed,
filled monogamous marriage, if you will.
So, it wasn't about whether or not your permission it was about it.
If this is a right fit. If this is something that works if there's
something that can't grow, if this you know if the leadership is
there
fine to find that and to build on that it's a grow with that what we
are right now. It's just
everything, always comments in a way out Wait, Chapter 123
Chapter 11 is worth it
maybe it's been a chapter 910 11 have been worth it.
I have a question for you this because you mentioned that you
grew up with a single mum. And obviously you have had your own
single mum experience, which, you know, we're familiar with that
dynamic in the West, it's kind of like, okay, I'll just take care of
things, you know, this is what we do, right? We're strong, we, you
know, we can deal with it. Was it difficult for you to, to submit to
look, look, look at the face? I
mean, not to you
know, I use that what is it? It's a trigger word you see around
here. So, I say the word submit, but was it easy for you to accept
the leadership of, you know, Coach Nazir, and kind of be a part of
this particular hole? Or what was that journey? Like for you? The
word that's a beautiful word. We have to stop looking at it as
something negative. I agree.
I agree. Yes.
Yes.
Talk to it. It's awesome. And I think that is one of the lines
that you know, we were said that a lot of young girls are bad because
you know, make sure your education and right and this stuff whatever
I'm thinking, you have to go to university you have to go to all
this other stuff, not thinking that your education is all around
you, you can you can choose and you can grow and you can learn
from everything around so getting a lot of the natural stuff on the
backburner which is you know, having a family or getting married
having a family and growing as a units that you know, it messes
people up in that that framework and that's what happened to me
like I had this thought in my mind at 14 Seriously, I remember
telling my mom asking Can I just have a kid you know, whatever it
took them out to the curb like that was
a steep that's what I saw.
Yeah, I guess you could
it's a possibility. I mean, it's an option right? And she's
thinking it's an option, okay. You could do it go and
when you grow that you deal with it, you deal with it in real life
is hard. You know, again, you want these other things but when you
want to raise well rounded children it's hard to do that on
your own by yourself. In my view of kind of like the Kiyosaki Rich
Dad Poor Dad I say he has the more information from
dad from these two different
so being able to
being able to
really think about it and be truthful about it and honest about
it. Yeah, I can be stubborn, I can have my ego I can do that and say
well, I can do this, I know how to do this. But when you're by
yourself and reflecting on what you want your life to look like
what you want your family to look like, you know that is a whole lot
better when somebody else or other people have your back and
why is that? Oh
no, oh, you did all of this because you came from being single
and all this other stuff. I still could have done it. So continue I
wasn't destitute. The thing is, is that you got to realize what you
want in your life, and how you want to, to have and what you want
your legacy to look like
children
our children have so they're so far ahead and have so much
privilege and we are remind them about the privilege that they pass
all the time because of the dynamic that they have three level
parents and siblings and everything like that, that went
through ups and downs to live with through the trials and
tribulations. We have not
we have not hit we don't hide the negative from them because you
know, like with the UPS coming down, of course the sunshine comes
away with these different things that we're careful with what how
we give them ever
nation because of that, they are lightyears ahead of a lot of
people and a lot they're lightyears ahead of us when my
brother said earlier about giving them and providing them the
knowledge and the growth that we didn't have to so it's just a
beautiful thing once you get out of your own way and coming back
saying that well I can do this I can do that and it kind of almost
a serve your purpose type of thing because I've done I've it was in
that mentality to like okay, this man who served his purpose you
know the specific purpose that I want for you. Is that what you're
going to do when you deliver
I noticed that in a lot of our comments too, when they should
diminish it like this and they should have about this. It's like
you want control over everything it's
so easy to set up.
But what are you willing to give or give up their return
Oh, I love it. I love it mashallah handling lectures, I can no hate
on guys.