Naima B. Robert – TMC E4 Clip Things Muslims Should Avoid in Polygamy and Plural Marriage
AI: Summary ©
The speaker gives advice on how to avoid weakness and success in relationships. They suggest avoiding
the fear of weakness and focusing on one's strengths and values. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of working together and finding the best balance between personal and professional relationships.
the fear of weakness and focusing on one's strengths and values. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of working together and finding the best balance between personal and professional relationships.
AI: Summary ©
I would say,
avoid
being weak.
Avoid being weak, it's easy to be weak. Take the cowardly road or,
you know, be wanting to feel uncomfortable or practice
avoidance, avoid, deal with.
Avoid addresses calling the man on as a man.
Go ahead, move forward directly do what you got to do. But avoid
weakness, right? Because weakness is a choice. You can be courageous
and fail at something once you see respect that. But don't be wicked
succeed at something. There's still no respect. So what is
what is one thing that you would advise polygynous families to
avoid either as members of a polygynous family or just as a
family as a whole one thing to avoid?
Comparisons syndrome, everybody a marriage?
I like that. Yeah. I think one of the major things is allowing mode
to evolve and who they need to become is a big one for me.
Because sometimes we want room to evolve. But we don't allow trading
rooms. And that's a big problem. Huge. You don't allow the husband,
the CO wife or children nobody yourself enough space to learn and
make mistakes because you never make them. I can learn from
people's hands. That always bothered me because then you form
a pattern. All these patterns get formed and then you look up
marriage over kids hates you. Yeah, I mean, it's just a wreck.
So just avoid stabbing someone else's evolution.
Mashallah.
I will say,
avoid
being weak.
Avoid being weak, it's easy to be weak. Take the cowardly road or
not, you know, be wanting to feel uncomfortable practice avoidance
avoid, deal with.
Avoid dresses, man on, man.
Go ahead, move forward directly do what you got to do. But avoid
weakness. Right? Because weakness is a choice. You can be courageous
and fail at something when you still respect that. But don't be
weak and succeed at something. It still goes back. So avoid
weakness.
I really like that. I wonder. I've said before, and maybe coach
Nylund Fatima can
corroborate this. But with the
insecurities sometimes that can come out between the women, either
the initial wife or the subsequent wife. Exactly as coach neither
said it's the comparison, isn't it? You know, I'm not in we
haven't been married as long as them or we don't have as many
children or you know, she knows him better, or she's the new hot
thing, whatever the case may be. And I've always found it to be
very useful for each wife to play her. What's the word? Know when
you have people in a game? Krishna, you know, this, like you
have people in a gay position. That's it,
to play your position, right? Because every one of you has her
own unique strengths in the situation. And her probably her
own unique connection as well with the husband, right? And her home
has its own dynamic that is unique. And it's you know, special
to her and whatever she's creating in on her end of things. And when
sisters have brought this up, I've always said sort of, you know,
play your position, play to your strengths. Don't compare what you
have and what you've got going on with, you know, your co wife,
because all that will happen is you're gonna feel like you're
lacking somehow. But the reality is that you have strengths and she
has strengths. You've got great stuff going for you as she does,
right. Play your position. Do you think that's good advice to give
to co wives? I think is a great,
great advice. This is a funny thing. You said that because
Cochabamba has its history and everything like that, I think was
like okay, well,
instead of figuring out how I can communicate with him in a way I'm
sure we have this way. So maybe he uses this committee
to see these different things and play your position, knowing what
works for you.
If this is the interesting thing, what is done for me, has even
allowed me at times because I know certain strengths of hers and how
she can get through to him or certain things. I can actually go
to
To her, no. What did I do?
And it's really cool. It was like, isn't it? It's not, it's still the
mind of the bears, but it's still succeeding as a unit succeeding as
a team, where it's like, okay, we want to win all around the board.
So if I'm having issues and communicating some type of wants
needs or something like that, and I know that she can do it, or she
can kind of like, you know, wait, you know, there's a trigger
wherever you use that
because we have a relationship together. You know,
y'all we have a fresh
Yeah.
Yeah, go.
Because he is an INTJ. And he has a whole bunch of other stuff going
on. He may be totally oblivious. So what I was feeling when I say,
hey, like, you're right. But then another voice got like, yeah, you
know, this is, you know, this is the feeling this is what a feeling
this is what a feeling person feels like, right
now,
to take away from that, like, he was a happy villain, because he
got the team because he definitely was just, it's more of a logical
standpoint. So being able to have that. And I remember listening to
one of the interviews he did with one of the brothers and it was
like to your wives get together kind of like ganging up on you
type of thing with.
That's what it sounds like, to me. There's a tag team going on here.
But we don't it's more of a, you know, we can work together. And
that's the thing where we even talk about CO wives, that the
other sphere that she's talking about having that with you one
together with one and know each other or not, is so much benefit
in doing that for the whole family dynamic. Yeah. And so when we talk
about outstanding personal relationships, not okay,
relationship, nice eye relationships is like outstanding
personal relationships. You want to make sure that if that's what
you're striving to have, I'm just trying to think you want to do
that all around the board. And of course, there's talked about
before is working within yourself. So because you've done the work
and go to my callback without feeling like well, I don't want
her you know, knowing that I'm on a roll like
yesterday, we're
just pretty much you know, hey, we want to win and we want to see
each other with each other to see they want you out of that mindset
that shifted my shift.
Well before that you will definitely see sold me benefits
and polygyny and they totally outweigh the negative that people
are trying to put out there.