Naima B. Robert – TMC E3 Clip Should a Muslim Woman Ask for a High Mahr or a Low Mahr

Naima B. Robert
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The speaker discusses the issue of affordability and the need for everyone to have a happy marriage. They suggest that families should be happy with their marriage, but it is important to ensure that everyone is happy with it. The speaker also mentions that many families are not happy with their marriage, but they are willing to give up.

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			What do you say? What's What's
your Okay, all right, let me put
		
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			you on the spot. Because obviously
there's team Hi, Maha. And there's
		
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			team Loma. So Which team are you
on? What? What's your stance?
		
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			On social media, the trending one
is like Maha. So
		
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			about Maha. This is a deep one,
the deep one. What do you say?
		
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			What's the what's the Okay. All
right, let me put you on the spot.
		
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			Because obviously, there's team
Hi, Maha. And there's team Loma.
		
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			So Which team are you on? What
What's your stance?
		
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			So, yeah, I mean, it's, I wish it
was as easy as saying, I'm on one
		
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			team. I take one view on this. And
this is probably what I ended up
		
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			saying to a lot of the couples
that come with this question that
		
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			like, you know, our families are
saying one thing and where we're
		
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			kind of like, you know, saying one
thing and so Islamically what is
		
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			the Mahara? I always get asked
this Islamically what is the
		
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			Mahara month? Well, what is the
Sunnah, Maha, etcetera. And for
		
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			me, it's like, you know, it's not
a straightforward. It's not like
		
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			in the Quran and the Sunnah, in
one Hadith, you're going to find
		
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			the process, I'm saying, give this
Mahara mount, right? If it was as
		
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			simple as that, it will be so much
easier. There wouldn't be no
		
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			questions, we just won't be giving
that my hat and job done. Right,
		
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			it'd be very easy. But because our
faith, Islam is such a
		
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			comprehensive, holistic, and Dean,
it's a way of life. You know, it's
		
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			not as simple as you know, 1400
years ago, the process, I'm in
		
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			Arabia, in the time that they were
living in saying this is the
		
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			Mohammed and now fortunately, is a
in a complete different world,
		
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			we're going to apply exactly that
same amount, because, you know, it
		
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			just the world doesn't work like
that. And, obviously, our last
		
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			pantalla is, you know, the All
Knowing, and he knows that, you
		
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			know, this is this is something
that's going to be until Tiama.
		
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			Right? So hence why I say, look,
the best way of looking at it, and
		
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			you know, and to kind of summarize
the whole issue is whatever you
		
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			can afford to give. So from the
from the man side, it's about
		
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			affordability. But I also add,
it's it has to be respectable as
		
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			well. I think that's that's a
really key one. Because sometimes
		
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			it's nice thing respectable. Yeah
respectable amount, because what
		
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			tends to happen is, so people take
this word Simple, right? Islam is
		
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			all about simplicity. So let's do
a simple Nikka. You know, and they
		
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			go so simple, that it's like, you
know, I give a funny example,
		
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			sometimes I'm like, so the mad
that you're giving, with no kind
		
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			of, I mean, nothing bad here, no
offense whatsoever. But the man
		
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			that you're giving, you've gotten
so simple, that you're basically
		
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			you're paying your chauffeur to
that your drive that's driving you
		
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			to your wedding venue, more giving
to your wife, the one that you're
		
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			literally committing your life to.
And you know, subhanAllah, right,
		
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			like, Is that is that? Not that? I
use a chauffeur being hired for a
		
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			simple Nikka? That's what I want.
That's, you know, if we opened up
		
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			that kind of coalition and of
itself, right, if you're spending
		
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			on the wedding, yeah. Maybe you
need to be matching that somehow
		
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			with the with the My Home, maybe?
I don't know. Yeah, well, that's
		
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			good. That's that that is going to
be a kind of an indication of what
		
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			your affordability is like. Right?
Right. So you're right, yeah. So
		
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			if you have a wedding with a huge
wedding with a huge hole, and you
		
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			have all of these extra fancy
things with it, that's not really
		
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			simple. I'm not against that. But
if you can afford that hamdulillah
		
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			that's, I'm not against that. But
you have to kind of reflect that
		
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			as well. As, you know, your
marriage is more important than
		
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			the wedding. Right? So, you know,
one of the issues that we'll
		
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			probably end up speaking about is
too many young couples today are
		
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			spending more time preparing for
their weddings than they are for
		
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			their marriages. Which is a huge
issue. So Instagram for that
		
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			Instagram. Yeah. under percent
fitness upon on that. Yeah, it is,
		
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			it is so that so you've got the
affordability on one side.
		
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			And then you've also got on the
other hand, you know, we've spoke
		
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			about it being a respectable
amount, right. And what the other
		
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			side is happy with as well there
has to be that you know, Allah
		
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			says give it in good cheer, right?
So the from the woman's side, she
		
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			needs to be happy with it and
agree to it. On the guy side,
		
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			what's affordable, anything in
between that inshallah is a good
		
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			Mahara amount as long as it's
being reasonable and and what it
		
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			with the right intention? Most
cases it's okay. I really like
		
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			that as kind of a parameter. What
I've what I'm seeing the
		
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			conversation
		
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			aroma that I'm seeing. I think
there's a couple of things. One is
		
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			the family, right? Obviously I'm
in Egypt and in Egypt, the MaHA
		
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			has nothing to do with the girl.
She doesn't really have much of a
		
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			say, her father sets the MaHA. So
I'm sure you've, you know, maybe
		
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			come across situations where the
family sets the high Mahal, and
		
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			the couple are like, give us a
break. We just want to get
		
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			married. And they're like, No,
this, this, this this. And so I'm
		
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			interested to know whether you
understand why families are doing
		
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			that.