Naima B. Robert – TMC E2 Marriage Advice for Muslim Women About High Expectations
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The speaker discusses the importance of creating a love story and not comparing it to a reality TV show. They also discuss the negative impact of social media and how it causes people to be attached to one another. The speaker believes that creating a love story is the best way to achieve a romantic dream.
AI: Summary ©
So I have a question on this because I know you know, we all
grew up watching Disney, listening to the love songs, watching the
movies and the romance and the Hollywood vision of relationships
and love, etc. So, you know, the interesting thing about you too,
is that when we see you together, and we hear you talking to each
other, it looks like a fairy tale romance. MashAllah to Karla. But I
think what I would like viewers to also see which is almost more
important is that, firstly, it wasn't always like this. Oh, no,
and it didn't come for free.
You know, and, in fact, if anybody had caught you within those first
six years, it would have been a Nightmare on Elm Street, right?
More than more than Romeo not not Romeo. But you know, no more than
any romance, it would have been a horror show. Right? So I guess my
first question is, do you feel that our expectations for love and
marriage have been have been damaged by Disney and the songs
etc? Or do you find that they've been helpful in some way to kind
of give us something to aspire to? I I personally do believe love
stories still exist, because I saw it in my parents. And that was 50
years and then we leave you build your you create your love story.
Don't ever compare, the worst thing we do is to compare so don't
compare it to Romeo and Juliet or any Disney Juliet and not even a
love story. It doesn't even
there's no happily ever after, like what's going on? So, um, you
know, but I just, I believe I am living my best love story. I could
never have read this in any book I could. And I think the biggest
concern I have is what social media and this reality TV world
has done, that we're in today because it causes you it creates
this voyeurism. You want to know what the others are doing. And
then sometimes you want to borrow that and it kind of work for you.
Or you're kind of looking at your relationship and say, Well,
I've got Yeah,
it creates discontentment. So I believe, do have confidence that
there is love you and beautiful love story. Just create your own
twist on the things you do together, what your vision is,
what the big picture is for your marriage, and you'll be able to
attain it. Because we seem to be, you know, bubbly and laugh a lot.
And we joke a lot. We really do laugh until we fall off the bed
till today we do almost I think hardly a day goes by that we don't
have a painful belly laugh where we just are rolling. Alhamdulillah
humor is like I think the biggest thing in this relationship after
Allah first, but I would say we still quarrel too. He came and
joined me I was on a trip. So he came and joined me yesterday, the
day before we were chatting on the phone, and I was narrating a story
to him. And he immediately annoyed me in how he took over the
conversation. And I just kept saying, I don't believe this and
you could hear me whispering on the phone.
I was just like, how could he take over and into my brain and start
completing the story that he didn't even
know Wait, I got it. So
I just leave it in the bed listening to him. And just I kept
saying I couldn't believe this. I said, Okay, can I please finish
telling you what exactly happened? Because you fast forwarded to What
I should have done? He said I was being a Martian, wasn't I you
sound being a Martian. That's Martian behavior, right?
He said, I'm being emotional. I say yes. And I said this Venusian
is angry right now. He said, he said, You're pouting, aren't you?
I think that just made me start laughing. Well, like just before
that I was angry. I was really angry with him. We still have this
emotion.
But you need his work. And I think because of the fact that over the
years, we've really analyzed and read each other and
I know his triggers, he knows my triggers. And he knows the thing
with him, you know, these motions are very analytical and like, yes
to the point. We like want to, you know, make you picture you will
literally in it. Yes. Yeah. So he's still that way. And he is
understood that I prefer to give the nitty gritty. And so I tried
to reduce the length of
my time
Alright, guys, by time we'll get there. We'll get
this reminds me I know another couple within, you know, within
our circle who very much like you got married and had a lot of
difficulties maybe not right off the bat but so let's say the messy
middle, really tough to the point where it was like, What are you
guys doing? You know, this is this is just torture for all parties
you know this is this is a disaster and you know, they
decided to persevere mashallah and now
they they've, they've they've they got over the hump I think that's
what I want to say they got over the hump. So again, again, I do
think this is just my personal opinion which I keep inserting
everywhere. But I think that what we are told is the normal way that
relationships go in the media, social media, you know, popular
culture, etc. I think is not helpful. Not that it can never
happen, but it's not helpful because it makes you think that
that's how it always is, and that there is a happily ever after at
the wedding.