Naima B. Robert – Gratitude Episode 03 A Sister’s Ramadan
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And welcome back to a Sister's Ramadan.
I'm your host, Naima B. Robert, and I'm
honored that you've joined me today.
This show is all about answering one central
question.
How can we as Muslim women
use this time in Ramadan
to grow and heal?
I would like to explore with you how
we can renew and replenish our iman and
our spirits throughout this blessed month.
The purpose of this show is to share
a set of skills
that are essential for personal growth and healing.
And also the ways in which we can
best practice them through the rituals of Ramadan.
Insha Allah, it will offer you a perspective
that will be beneficial
long after the month has passed. Be'ivnillah. In
today's episode, we will be looking at the
power of Dua and
importance of setting healthy boundaries.
There is no doubt
that many of us may be experiencing
aspects of our lives that are new, that
are different, that are unfamiliar.
And usually, the impact of big changes,
big disruption to our normal routine
is
fear, anxiety,
stress,
general lack of certainty,
which can lead to its own set of
issues.
And because we know that this life, this
world that we live in is a place
of test and examination, that things are constantly
changing,
moving, disrupting.
This means that
anxiety, stress, fear
are a natural part of our experience as
human beings.
Now Abu Hurayra reported that Allah's Messenger sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam said, the believer does not
allow himself to be stung twice from the
same hole.
So my question to you is this,
is there anything in your life right now,
anything that you're doing, anything that you're exposing
yourself to that is bringing on increased levels
of fear, anxiety or stress.
Because if there is, which for many of
us is the case,
I'm going to invite you now
to examine those things
and ask yourself,
if I'm truly preserving
my sense of peace, my iman,
Will I put my attention towards this thing?
Will I focus my energies on this thing?
And it could be anything. It could be
social media. It could be the news. It
could be a particularly
toxic family member. It could be your own
negative thoughts.
Whatever they are, I'm going to invite you
this Ramadan to examine them
and make a decision
to safeguard your own peace of mind.
Moving on to the aspect of Ramadan that
I would like us to focus on in
this particular episode, and that is Dua.
Because
the cure for the fear, the anxiety, the
stress
is Dua.
The comfort that we seek, the sakinah,
the peace of mind that we are all
wishing and hoping for,
can be found with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
And a beautiful reminder of this is,
when Allah says,
and when my servants ask you concerning me,
then answer them.
I am indeed near to them.
I respond
to the supplications
of the supplicant
when he calls on me.
SubhanAllah, Aladeem.
So on the one hand, we have this
life of fears and anxieties and things that
we can't control.
On the other hand, we have a Lord
who assures us
that when we call out to him,
he hears and he responds.
Ibn Al Qayyim said, The Dua is one
of the most beneficial cures
and is the enemy of all diseases.
It fights them and cures them and prevents
their occurrence
and causes them to be raised up or
reduced after its occurrence.
It is the weapon of the believer.
So my dear sister, I ask you this,
at those moments when you are feeling low,
when you are gripped by fear or uncertainty
or anxiety and you worry about the future
or the present or the past.
How many times do you remember
the Dua?
And the ease and the solace and the
comfort that is in the Dua.
I hope this is a reminder for you,
anytime those feelings of fear or anxiety come
up, to turn to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
and remember his promise,
that He hears the supplication
of the supplicant and He responds.
Again, another amazing reminder of
the fact that although we are simply 1
in a 1000000000 other human beings, you know,
in our own way, nothing special.
While that is true,
we are also
special to Allah, Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, in that
he hears us, he sees us, he knows
us,
and He is almighty and all aware and
able to respond to every single one of
us.
In terms of personal skills, my sister,
the big takeaway I want you to take
from this episode
is setting healthy boundaries.
A lot of the time
when we are going through life on a
day to day, we allow a lot of
things into our mind space. As I said,
it could be the news, it could be
social media, it could be friends or family
that have a negative influence on us.
Setting healthy boundaries
means setting up a wall of love around
your head and your heart.
Your emotional, mental, and spiritual health is your
responsibility.
You are the one who must guard your
mental state, your emotional state, and your spiritual
state at all costs.
Now,
this doesn't mean that you go around upsetting
people, that you go around, you know, making
enemies or having fights with people and sort
of pushing them away.
It doesn't mean that. But what it means
is that you take active steps to protect
your space emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
Because at the end of the day, the
Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam advised us
to take benefit of 5 before 5.
Your youth before your old age,
Your health before your sickness.
Your wealth before your poverty.
Your free time before you are preoccupied
and your life before your death.
And subhanAllah,
He also told us that there are 2
blessings which many people lose.
They are health and free time for doing
good.
Now, I ask you my dear sister,
look at these 5.
Are they not wasted and frittered away by
not having a protective boundary around them? Look
at your time,
look at your health,
look at your wealth.
If you don't set up boundaries to protect
those things
and treat them as the that they are,
then they will always be intruded on. Your
time will be wasted
in ways that are not beneficial. Your wealth
will be frittered away on extravagant useless things.
Your health will be wasted by you not
actually taking care of it and taking ownership
of it.
So
today's
big takeaway
is setting up those healthy boundaries.
And I would like to invite every one
of you to ask yourself,
what am I allowing?
What am I allowing into my space that
is not benefiting me in any way?
And don't be afraid to start saying,
I'm not going to allow that into my
space anymore.
Now many of you may have an issue
with toxic friends or family members. Negative people,
people who have a negative negative effect on
you, your iman, your emotional well-being, your mental
health even. And I know that many sisters
struggle with being able to set healthy boundaries,
and you may be thinking to yourself, Sister
Naima, this sounds great, but you don't know
my auntie so and so. You don't know
my cousin.
And my invitation to you is to start
with the understanding for yourself that my mental
health is important.
My spiritual state is important. My emotional well-being
has value.
Start there,
because many of
us don't make boundaries because we don't think
that those things are important. Or we think
it's someone else's job to look after us,
and to make sure that we're okay.
But my dear sister,
as a slave of Allah,
You will answer for those 5 things to
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. You will answer for
your health. You will answer for your wealth.
You will answer for your time, you will
answer for how you live this life. And
so it's your responsibility to protect those things,
so you have the right answers to give.
So start with the understanding that you matter,
and that your personal state matters,
and then start dealing with the people.
JazakAllah Khayron for joining me for this episode.
SubhanAllah.
If you've benefited from anything that I've said,
Alhamdulillahi
rublaalamin.
Please do give us your comments. Tell us
what you think and share this with friends
and family.
Don't forget to use the hashtag sistersramadhan,
and tag iman channel, and me, your sister,
Naeema b Robert.
Subhan'alaqallahumarabbanobihamdikashaduunla
ilahaillah and washtaghfirukawanatoobuilayk.
See you in the next episode when we
will be discussing the importance of istighfar
and the power of letting go.