Naima B. Robert – Are Your Kids Scared of #coronavirus
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My name is Naima b Robert, and I
am your sister
on this journey of life. And in this
series, I am looking at ways to thrive
during the coronavirus
pandemic that is sweeping our world. And in
this video, I am gonna be talking about
how to handle
your children's
emotional and mental state throughout this crisis inshallah.
So as many of you know,
whole countries are on lockdown. Maybe you are
on lockdown within your home. Maybe you are
practicing social distancing. Maybe you are self isolating.
Maybe your children are out of school.
Regardless of your current situation,
there is no doubt that your children are
aware of what is happening in the world
right now. And so I would like to
just offer you as a mum of 5
myself,
I would just like to offer you 5
strategies
to ensure that your children are not adversely
by the current situation in our world. So
Bismillah,
the first thing,
the first strategy
that I would like to offer to you
is to be mindful
of what you say and how you say
it
during this time.
In previous videos, I have advised
to
limit your exposure
to, the media,
and to especially panic inducing reports.
And this is really important when it comes
to our children.
They should not be over exposed
to
news about the coronavirus,
to reports on deaths, on reports on, you
know, how many are ill or what the
numbers are, what the death toll is, and
even all of the things that are happening,
just be mindful
of how you frame all of this for
them, limit their exposure to the media, but
even within your own language,
just be mindful of what you say and
how you say it.
Your children will most definitely
feed off you.
If you are scared,
if you are panicking,
if you are like, you know, just all
over the place, your children are going to
feel that from you and it is going
to impact them.
So just be mindful
of what you say and how you say
it. You don't have firstly, don't don't
allow them to be binge watching TV reports
all day, especially if they're home all day.
You really wanna limit that. And just for
yourself,
just think about, do they need to know
this? Is this something that I should be
sharing with them? And if I am sharing
with them, how can I share it with
them? So say for example,
the fact that in many Masajid, Jum'ah is
no longer being prayed in congregation.
And even in Samasajid, the Salah is not
being prayed in congregation. Now this
is a huge deal
and we know that.
But there's a difference between going home and
saying, oh my God. I cannot believe that
they have canceled Joanna.
What is the world coming to your stuff,
for the Lord? These are the end of
days.
And going off on a crazy, crazy, crazy
rant,
which of course is going to make your
children scared
and worried and anxious,
rather than
processing your thoughts and then letting them know
in a factual way,
we've been advised by the scholars and by
the medical boards
to close the masajid because we don't want
any Muslims
catching the coronavirus
while they come to Jum'ah or the Salah.
And well, why, daddy? Why is this happening?
Why, mommy? Why is this happening? Okay. Because
this is how the coronavirus is spread, a,
b, c,
d. And in the Masjid, these are the
risk factors. So the scholars have advised for
the safety of the community that we don't
do that anymore. But guess what we're gonna
do?
We're gonna be praying together in the house
inshallah and
so and so is going to be delivering
the chutba. Either we're going to listen to
a YouTube video or we're gonna play a
cassette or one of you is gonna give
the chutba on this Friday.
2,
same news, 2 totally different ways of delivering
it. And the first
way of speaking about it will make them
anxious, make them scared, make them,
you know, take your your your own negative
emotions
and the other will be
factual
and calm and rational and actually allow them
to see the wisdom behind
the advice that we've been given and not
panic.
Just understand that this is a sensible precaution.
So I hope that makes sense.
We have the power with our words
to
either send our children into fear and anxiety
or
to calm them and ground them. So let's
use those words carefully inshallah.
The second thing that I would like to
offer you is this.
2nd strategy,
be factual.
Okay.
There is a lot of emotion.
Emotions are riding high.
Fear is riding high and, and, and panic
and sensation and hysteria
has gripped certain parts of our community, certain
parts of the society, certain parts of the
media.
You don't have to feed into
that. When you're speaking with your children, try
your best to be factual
and just tell them what they need to
know in a factual, rational way. Do not
over emotionalize.
Do not over sensationalize.
Just tell them the facts that they need
to know
and keep it moving.
If you look at this in the big
picture of world history,
these types of
health scares have happened.
They've happened probably in every century, probably several
times, certainly around the world. It's not the
first time, but it's the first time in
our lifetime.
And so it makes sense that, you know,
we are being, you know, really careful and
we are taking precautions and our lives are
changing,
but our children don't have to be traumatized
by this experience.
They don't have to be traumatized by this
experience.
We can help protect them from that trauma.
If we are careful and we use appropriate
language and we we also work on our
own state and, you know, just be factual
with them and be matter of fact with
them.
The third thing that I want to offer
you is probably the most important thing and
this remind them of Allah's
plan.
Remind
them that Allah is
and nothing happens without his decree.
Let them know it's okay
for us as human beings to go through
trials because Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has decreed
good for us even within those trials.
Get them to see
the Barakah in their situation.
Get them Barakah focused.
Help them to understand that in this situation,
good can still come from the
How can they change as a result of
all of this in a way that will
benefit them? And let them know that Allah
has always got them. You know, Allah
wants khir for us.
Use this as a teaching moment with your
children, inshallah.
Okay. The 4th
thing that I want to offer you, the
4th strategy,
is
share them you know, encourage them to share
how they're feeling.
Okay.
It's important that they are able to speak
about whatever scares they have or, you know,
whatever anxiety they have, especially if there are
members of the family that are ill.
This can be very frightening for children. So
please make a safe space
where they can share how they're feeling.
Try not to shut them down or hush
them or say, no, it's fine or whatever.
Encourage them to tell you how they're feeling
and hold space for them. You know, it's
sometimes enough to just say,
this is how I feel right now.
And for you to hear them,
that can be enough.
So within your home, you definitely And,
And, sometimes all they need is a hug
or a cuddle.
Sometimes they need you to kind of break
it down for them and to maybe coach
them a little bit. Whatever it is, please
ensure that your homes are a safe space
for our children. It's really important.
And then the 5th strategy that I'm offering
to you is to give them outlets
for their energy,
especially if there is isolation or social distancing
or they're off school.
Provide outlets for their energy and that is
not a subscription to Netflix. That is not
an iPad. That is not a tablet. That's
not your phone.
And I'm see I'm saying this really I'm
gonna be real with you here.
The answer to children being home from school
for an extended period of time is not
to up the screen time. Now is not
the time to be buying Playstations.
Now is not the time to be getting
more channels on the TV. I'm sorry, but
now is not the time to be relaxing
your rules on on screen time. Now is
the time for you to get creative
about
really allowing them to explore their creativity.
So introduce them to, to more drawing, more
coloring, painting, doing arts and crafts,
Give them the freedom to explore their creative
gifts.
Encourage them to write, whether it's letters, which
is a great thing to be able to
do while we can still send them. You
know, encourage them to write, to write stories,
to write a diary, to keep a gratitude
journal.
Encourage them to play.
Okay. Now is not the time to be
getting crazy about making a mess, encourage them
to play. If they are going to be
home for an extended amount of time,
we need to have outlets for them. So,
you know, have the toys there, have the
Lego,
have the, you know, box of dress up
dress up, dress up clothes. Let them put
on a fashion show. Let them put on
a play. Play with them. I know it
sounds crazy, but
this is what I'm talking about
making the most of this situation
and I will be addressing that in further
videos. But for now,
let's get our kids
playing,
reading,
reading Quran, reading more books, listening to audio
books.
There are lots of resources,
from Muslim companies,
where they have made free resources available for
children that are going to be at home.
And of course there are online equivalents as
well,
but now is the time really to just
give them outlets for their energy, for their
creative energy. If you're in a place where
it's safe to do so, take them out
for a walk, take them out on their
bikes, on their scooters.
Now is not the time to be lazy
and just give up and say, oh, I
guess that's it. Pizza and Netflix it is.
You have
got this.
As a mum,
I know that you want the best for
those children
and the best for your children is for
them to see the big picture
of this as part of Allah's
plan
for them to know that Allah decrees Khayr
for us, as long as we can, as
long as we can see it
To get them to reframe this as an
opportunity
to draw closer to Allah, to draw closer
to you and their siblings and their their
mum and their dad, and for them to
explore some new
skills, some new activities,
some new books, some new, you know, some
new new just new things to do with
their
time.
And who knows
what their memories of this period will be?
What I do know is that you have,
as a mom, a huge part to play
in how they will remember this time.
So don't waste that. Make the most of
it. That's it from me.
Be safe.
Be stay safe. Stay sane
and may Allah protect you and your family
in every way. I pray that this is
a
an opportunity for us that we do not
miss and that in we are allowed by
Allah to become a better version of ourselves
throughout this trial. It's your sister Naima B.
Roberts signing out. Be sure to share this
video if it was beneficial to you. Like,
comment, and subscribe and I will see you
in the next video.