Naima B. Robert – Are Your Kids Scared of #coronavirus

Naima B. Robert
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A series on handling the coronavirus crisis advises parents to be mindful of their words and actions and limit exposure to the media. The series emphasizes the importance of being a "mother of five" to ensure children are not adversely affected and offers advice on how to help them learn from their emotions. Different strategies, such as praying together, giving children access to creative ideas, and creating safe spaces for children to play, are suggested to help children learn, gain confidence, and learn from their emotions.

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			My name is Naima b Robert, and I
		
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			am your sister
		
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			on this journey of life. And in this
		
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			series, I am looking at ways to thrive
		
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			during the coronavirus
		
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			pandemic that is sweeping our world. And in
		
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			this video, I am gonna be talking about
		
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			how to handle
		
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			your children's
		
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			emotional and mental state throughout this crisis inshallah.
		
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			So as many of you know,
		
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			whole countries are on lockdown. Maybe you are
		
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			on lockdown within your home. Maybe you are
		
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			practicing social distancing. Maybe you are self isolating.
		
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			Maybe your children are out of school.
		
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			Regardless of your current situation,
		
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			there is no doubt that your children are
		
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			aware of what is happening in the world
		
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			right now. And so I would like to
		
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			just offer you as a mum of 5
		
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			myself,
		
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			I would just like to offer you 5
		
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			strategies
		
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			to ensure that your children are not adversely
		
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			by the current situation in our world. So
		
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			Bismillah,
		
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			the first thing,
		
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			the first strategy
		
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			that I would like to offer to you
		
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			is to be mindful
		
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			of what you say and how you say
		
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			it
		
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			during this time.
		
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			In previous videos, I have advised
		
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			to
		
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			limit your exposure
		
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			to, the media,
		
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			and to especially panic inducing reports.
		
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			And this is really important when it comes
		
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			to our children.
		
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			They should not be over exposed
		
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			to
		
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			news about the coronavirus,
		
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			to reports on deaths, on reports on, you
		
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			know, how many are ill or what the
		
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			numbers are, what the death toll is, and
		
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			even all of the things that are happening,
		
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			just be mindful
		
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			of how you frame all of this for
		
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			them, limit their exposure to the media, but
		
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			even within your own language,
		
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			just be mindful of what you say and
		
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			how you say it.
		
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			Your children will most definitely
		
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			feed off you.
		
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			If you are scared,
		
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			if you are panicking,
		
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			if you are like, you know, just all
		
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			over the place, your children are going to
		
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			feel that from you and it is going
		
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			to impact them.
		
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			So just be mindful
		
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			of what you say and how you say
		
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			it. You don't have firstly, don't don't
		
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			allow them to be binge watching TV reports
		
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			all day, especially if they're home all day.
		
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			You really wanna limit that. And just for
		
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			yourself,
		
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			just think about, do they need to know
		
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			this? Is this something that I should be
		
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			sharing with them? And if I am sharing
		
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			with them, how can I share it with
		
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			them? So say for example,
		
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			the fact that in many Masajid, Jum'ah is
		
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			no longer being prayed in congregation.
		
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			And even in Samasajid, the Salah is not
		
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			being prayed in congregation. Now this
		
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			is a huge deal
		
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			and we know that.
		
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			But there's a difference between going home and
		
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			saying, oh my God. I cannot believe that
		
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			they have canceled Joanna.
		
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			What is the world coming to your stuff,
		
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			for the Lord? These are the end of
		
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			days.
		
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			And going off on a crazy, crazy, crazy
		
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			rant,
		
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			which of course is going to make your
		
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			children scared
		
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			and worried and anxious,
		
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			rather than
		
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			processing your thoughts and then letting them know
		
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			in a factual way,
		
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			we've been advised by the scholars and by
		
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			the medical boards
		
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			to close the masajid because we don't want
		
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			any Muslims
		
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			catching the coronavirus
		
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			while they come to Jum'ah or the Salah.
		
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			And well, why, daddy? Why is this happening?
		
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			Why, mommy? Why is this happening? Okay. Because
		
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			this is how the coronavirus is spread, a,
		
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			b, c,
		
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			d. And in the Masjid, these are the
		
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			risk factors. So the scholars have advised for
		
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			the safety of the community that we don't
		
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			do that anymore. But guess what we're gonna
		
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			do?
		
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			We're gonna be praying together in the house
		
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			inshallah and
		
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			so and so is going to be delivering
		
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			the chutba. Either we're going to listen to
		
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			a YouTube video or we're gonna play a
		
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			cassette or one of you is gonna give
		
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			the chutba on this Friday.
		
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			2,
		
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			same news, 2 totally different ways of delivering
		
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			it. And the first
		
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			way of speaking about it will make them
		
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			anxious, make them scared, make them,
		
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			you know, take your your your own negative
		
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			emotions
		
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			and the other will be
		
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			factual
		
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			and calm and rational and actually allow them
		
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			to see the wisdom behind
		
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			the advice that we've been given and not
		
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			panic.
		
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			Just understand that this is a sensible precaution.
		
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			So I hope that makes sense.
		
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			We have the power with our words
		
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			to
		
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			either send our children into fear and anxiety
		
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			or
		
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			to calm them and ground them. So let's
		
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			use those words carefully inshallah.
		
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			The second thing that I would like to
		
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			offer you is this.
		
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			2nd strategy,
		
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			be factual.
		
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			Okay.
		
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			There is a lot of emotion.
		
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			Emotions are riding high.
		
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			Fear is riding high and, and, and panic
		
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			and sensation and hysteria
		
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			has gripped certain parts of our community, certain
		
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			parts of the society, certain parts of the
		
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			media.
		
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			You don't have to feed into
		
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			that. When you're speaking with your children, try
		
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			your best to be factual
		
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			and just tell them what they need to
		
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			know in a factual, rational way. Do not
		
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			over emotionalize.
		
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			Do not over sensationalize.
		
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			Just tell them the facts that they need
		
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			to know
		
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			and keep it moving.
		
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			If you look at this in the big
		
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			picture of world history,
		
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			these types of
		
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			health scares have happened.
		
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			They've happened probably in every century, probably several
		
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			times, certainly around the world. It's not the
		
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			first time, but it's the first time in
		
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			our lifetime.
		
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			And so it makes sense that, you know,
		
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			we are being, you know, really careful and
		
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			we are taking precautions and our lives are
		
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			changing,
		
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			but our children don't have to be traumatized
		
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			by this experience.
		
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			They don't have to be traumatized by this
		
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			experience.
		
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			We can help protect them from that trauma.
		
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			If we are careful and we use appropriate
		
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			language and we we also work on our
		
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			own state and, you know, just be factual
		
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			with them and be matter of fact with
		
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			them.
		
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			The third thing that I want to offer
		
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			you is probably the most important thing and
		
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			this remind them of Allah's
		
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			plan.
		
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			Remind
		
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			them that Allah is
		
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			and nothing happens without his decree.
		
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			Let them know it's okay
		
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			for us as human beings to go through
		
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			trials because Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has decreed
		
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			good for us even within those trials.
		
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			Get them to see
		
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			the Barakah in their situation.
		
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			Get them Barakah focused.
		
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			Help them to understand that in this situation,
		
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			good can still come from the
		
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			How can they change as a result of
		
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			all of this in a way that will
		
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			benefit them? And let them know that Allah
		
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			has always got them. You know, Allah
		
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			wants khir for us.
		
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			Use this as a teaching moment with your
		
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			children, inshallah.
		
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			Okay. The 4th
		
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			thing that I want to offer you, the
		
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			4th strategy,
		
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			is
		
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			share them you know, encourage them to share
		
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			how they're feeling.
		
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			Okay.
		
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			It's important that they are able to speak
		
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			about whatever scares they have or, you know,
		
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			whatever anxiety they have, especially if there are
		
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			members of the family that are ill.
		
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			This can be very frightening for children. So
		
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			please make a safe space
		
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			where they can share how they're feeling.
		
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			Try not to shut them down or hush
		
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			them or say, no, it's fine or whatever.
		
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			Encourage them to tell you how they're feeling
		
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			and hold space for them. You know, it's
		
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			sometimes enough to just say,
		
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			this is how I feel right now.
		
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			And for you to hear them,
		
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			that can be enough.
		
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			So within your home, you definitely And,
		
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			And, sometimes all they need is a hug
		
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			or a cuddle.
		
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			Sometimes they need you to kind of break
		
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			it down for them and to maybe coach
		
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			them a little bit. Whatever it is, please
		
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			ensure that your homes are a safe space
		
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			for our children. It's really important.
		
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			And then the 5th strategy that I'm offering
		
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			to you is to give them outlets
		
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			for their energy,
		
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			especially if there is isolation or social distancing
		
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			or they're off school.
		
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			Provide outlets for their energy and that is
		
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			not a subscription to Netflix. That is not
		
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			an iPad. That is not a tablet. That's
		
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			not your phone.
		
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			And I'm see I'm saying this really I'm
		
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			gonna be real with you here.
		
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			The answer to children being home from school
		
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			for an extended period of time is not
		
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			to up the screen time. Now is not
		
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			the time to be buying Playstations.
		
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			Now is not the time to be getting
		
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			more channels on the TV. I'm sorry, but
		
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			now is not the time to be relaxing
		
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			your rules on on screen time. Now is
		
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			the time for you to get creative
		
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			about
		
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			really allowing them to explore their creativity.
		
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			So introduce them to, to more drawing, more
		
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			coloring, painting, doing arts and crafts,
		
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			Give them the freedom to explore their creative
		
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			gifts.
		
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			Encourage them to write, whether it's letters, which
		
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			is a great thing to be able to
		
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			do while we can still send them. You
		
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			know, encourage them to write, to write stories,
		
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			to write a diary, to keep a gratitude
		
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			journal.
		
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			Encourage them to play.
		
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			Okay. Now is not the time to be
		
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			getting crazy about making a mess, encourage them
		
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			to play. If they are going to be
		
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			home for an extended amount of time,
		
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			we need to have outlets for them. So,
		
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			you know, have the toys there, have the
		
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			Lego,
		
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			have the, you know, box of dress up
		
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			dress up, dress up clothes. Let them put
		
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			on a fashion show. Let them put on
		
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			a play. Play with them. I know it
		
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			sounds crazy, but
		
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			this is what I'm talking about
		
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			making the most of this situation
		
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			and I will be addressing that in further
		
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			videos. But for now,
		
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			let's get our kids
		
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			playing,
		
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			reading,
		
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			reading Quran, reading more books, listening to audio
		
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			books.
		
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			There are lots of resources,
		
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			from Muslim companies,
		
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			where they have made free resources available for
		
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			children that are going to be at home.
		
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			And of course there are online equivalents as
		
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			well,
		
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			but now is the time really to just
		
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			give them outlets for their energy, for their
		
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			creative energy. If you're in a place where
		
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			it's safe to do so, take them out
		
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			for a walk, take them out on their
		
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			bikes, on their scooters.
		
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			Now is not the time to be lazy
		
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			and just give up and say, oh, I
		
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			guess that's it. Pizza and Netflix it is.
		
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			You have
		
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			got this.
		
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			As a mum,
		
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			I know that you want the best for
		
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			those children
		
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			and the best for your children is for
		
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			them to see the big picture
		
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			of this as part of Allah's
		
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			plan
		
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			for them to know that Allah decrees Khayr
		
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			for us, as long as we can, as
		
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			long as we can see it
		
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			To get them to reframe this as an
		
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			opportunity
		
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			to draw closer to Allah, to draw closer
		
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			to you and their siblings and their their
		
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			mum and their dad, and for them to
		
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			explore some new
		
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			skills, some new activities,
		
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			some new books, some new, you know, some
		
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			new new just new things to do with
		
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			their
		
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			time.
		
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			And who knows
		
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			what their memories of this period will be?
		
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			What I do know is that you have,
		
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			as a mom, a huge part to play
		
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			in how they will remember this time.
		
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			So don't waste that. Make the most of
		
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			it. That's it from me.
		
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			Be safe.
		
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			Be stay safe. Stay sane
		
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			and may Allah protect you and your family
		
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			in every way. I pray that this is
		
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			a
		
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			an opportunity for us that we do not
		
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			miss and that in we are allowed by
		
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			Allah to become a better version of ourselves
		
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			throughout this trial. It's your sister Naima B.
		
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			Roberts signing out. Be sure to share this
		
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			video if it was beneficial to you. Like,
		
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			comment, and subscribe and I will see you
		
00:12:38 --> 00:12:39
			in the next video.