Nahela Morales – Christmas For New Muslims Don’t Isolate Yourselves

Salam aleikum, everybody. So Christmas time is fast approaching

us. And for many new Muslims, this is a very difficult time we are

faced with dilemmas. Should we go and sit with our families should

we not? What many born Muslims don't understand is that this time

is full of traditions and fond memories and happiness. And it's

difficult for new Muslims. Because we don't know it. Should we

abandon that or not. I remember looking back at my family time at

Christmas, and it's always been full of fondness. And it's just

about family. We are not a religious family. And the 25th and

26th of December in in the UK are public holidays. So more than

likely this is when the whole of families can sit together because

everybody seems to be off at the same time. I'm from a coal mining

background. So you know, my dad used to have two weeks off for

Christmas and, and his brothers, and all of my relatives actually.

So it was just a time that we all used to congregate together and

just enjoy the season. It was never religious, we weren't

religious family, we didn't go to church to celebrate, there was no

actual religious celebration in it whatsoever. Unless you count the

hymns, and the nativity play done at every school, which still goes

on till now in the UK.

With my family, we used to go to my grandma's house from my

mother's side on Christmas Day. And we used to sit all together

me, my two sisters, my parents, my grandma, two of my Auntie's, and

my cousin, and we used to sit there and have a nice dinner. And

then after this, we would reenact school plays that we used to do,

for example, Cinderella, or Sleeping Beauty, because my

grandma didn't used to come and see them so often. And we used to

try and remember those so that we could do those in front of her, we

would also play with some toys that we had, or we would watch the

films on TV. And then later on at night, from my mother's side, one

of her other sisters would do her a big family get together at

night, and the kids would play party games like pass the pass. So

musical statues, musical chairs, and you know, it'd be full of

sandwiches and these lovely cakes and things that kids love. And

then on Boxing Day, we would do the exact same again only with my

dad's family. So it was just purely family time for us. So when

they got to be a common Muslim, I didn't stop it because it was the

only time that we can sit together. And because we had no

religious element in it whatsoever. There was nothing

wrong with it. And in Islam, we are supposed to keep how family

ties. So when I first got married, my husband had his first time with

us and it carried on up until my daughter was born. I have missed

just three Christmases with my family. The first one was actually

the first year I became a Muslim. But it was through work, I had to

work so I wasn't with my family whatsoever. And I think that was

the first time I probably felt how any new Muslim feels when they are

isolated, or maybe pushed out by their families because I was

completely alone. And it was so horrible for me.

And I just remember just being so sad. And it was nothing to do with

my family. I just had to work. But this is a choice that many new

Muslims face. And it's very difficult time. So my suggestion

here would be at least surround yourself with people who are also

not celebrating it. So you're not feeling alone, and you're not

feeling sad. Or maybe you can treat yourself for a few days

away, just to forget that and just try and have a little bit of fun

instead. The other two times was my daughter's birth because she

was born Christmas Eve which was the 24th of December, and we were

in hospital. But that was a joyous occasion in itself. And this the

time was I was ill. I had been diagnosed with cancer five months

beforehand. And so I was in Egypt for Christmas. And in Egypt. They

don't celebrate Christmas. Muslims don't anyway and the Christians

celebrated on the seventh of January. So it was just in very

normal time for me. And because of everything I was going through

even if I was at home, I don't think it would have been very nice

for me. Anyway. This year will be our first year in Canada as as a

three my husband and my daughter and I can't make her forget that

her family is Christian. We must keep those ties with those. So

she's been given presents from them and we've sent them presents

as well. Plus she gets her birthday the day before so she's

going to be happy spending lots of days playing with their new toys.

We will just have a quiet time just the three of us having some

dinner and I will do a live video chat with my my family so that I

can

still be a part of it in some way. And so that I can still be with

them on some in some way. And Islam teachers never cut the ties

of family. So if this is how I'm going to create strong bonds with

them, then I'm going to do that. And for those of you who are

wondering what to do, if you are still close with your family, I

suggest you go and visit them at least even if you are not

comfortable with the whole Merry Christmas or giving gifts, at

least go and sit with them on the day so that they can still see

that you want to be a part of them. It's very important to keep

those family ties, you don't have to participate and you shouldn't

participate in any of the religious meaning, but at least a

family get together. This is okay. As far as if you're away from your

family, you've been pushed away from your family and you're facing

it alone. Again, I would suggest you surround yourself with your

Muslim friends or maybe you treat yourself to a few days away

anything not to be alone at this time because it can be very, very

hard. Anyway, I hope those tips have been helpful. And I will I

will see you all soon as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa

barakato.