Nadim Bashir – Muhammad the Best Example #10 How He SAW Treated his Spouse pt1

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			Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Bismillah R. Rahman Rahim, Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen
wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Muhammad while he was so happy as mine, my brother Welcome to
another segment of our role models, the most perfect example for all of us Rasulullah sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam. And once again, the objective of this series is that we're going to go through how
did the Prophet alayhi salam treat everyone around him. So in our some of our previous segments
we've had how to the property, some treat the youth of his community, we've also shared that how to
properly is treat those who lack self confidence, those who are insecure about themselves how to
		

			properly some treat them. We also have talked about how the Prophet saw some treat treated the
elderly, what did he say about treating the elderly and so forth. Now, today, inshallah today and in
our next segment, for the next two segments, I will say that we're going to go through that What did
the Prophet alayhi salam do? And how did Rasulullah salaam treat his wife's? See brothers and
sisters, we have to understand that the Prophet alayhi salam is teaching us, He is advising us, he
is telling us what to do when it comes to our spouses. And what's important to understand is that
when it comes to a spouse, when it comes to a man, and I'm talking about for our wives, that they
		

			have made a certain sacrifice to leave their homes. They're made of sacrifice, they used to live
with their parents, they used to be around their mother and their father, and their mother and
father always cared for them. And now the fact that they're making a sacrifice, the parents are
making a sacrifice. And they're, they're, you know, they're letting their daughter go away, and this
daughter of theirs is coming into your home. Okay, for all husbands think about this. They're making
a sacrifice, and they're coming into your home. And not only that, but eventually they will become
she will become the mother of your children, she will have to go through this physical, you know,
		

			this physical challenge, and this emotional challenge of having children, and then she will take
care of the children and so forth. So it only makes sense that we treat our wives with kindness, we
treat our wives with honor with dignity and respect. And so we will go through some of the things
that the Prophet saw some he has done with his own wives, just to give us an idea that how do we
need to treat our own wives, first of all, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as a way to
create a mindset Rasulullah sallallahu it was something he mentioned, in a hadith, the most perfect
of the believers, in the best of them are those who are the best in terms of their character. And
		

			the best of you are those who are the kindness to their family. That means that the Prophet of Islam
is telling us that if you want to be considered as the best, if you want to be considered as the
best in terms in my dictionary in my books, then you have to be a person who treats his wife kindly,
who treat her family kindly. Now, today Subhanallah when you look at a majority of the issues people
have asked, why are there so many issues in our community? When it comes to husbands? Why do we find
so many cases that husbands are mistreating their wives? And the answer is very simple, first of
all, is that there's a lack of knowledge when it comes to the and then not only that, but secondly,
		

			I will say is that they look at their own fathers and how and they see their fathers treating their
mothers a certain way. See, what happens is that culturally speaking, in most cases, I will say nine
all but in most cases, what culture has taught us that how we should, how we should treat our wives
and how we should treat our women. They are for the most part, I can strongly say that they go
against our deen they go against our deen the prophets of salaam, the prophet Salam, where we learn
from him is that the best of you are those who are the best to his wives, and you're the best to
your spouse. So think about this, how we are treating our wives today. So let's go through some
		

			examples of what did the Prophet alayhi salam do when it came to treating his wives? The very first
thing is that he never raised his hand and he never was physically abusive toward his wives. He
should have the Allahu Taala on her. She mentioned that mount Dora Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam Hardiman law who he never once raised his hand on any servant on any servant. And then not
only that, one that Imran uttered, I know on any of his wives, you
		

			Let's talk a moment listening about that the province or never wants to raise his hands if you and I
believe. And if you and I say that we are believers in Rasulullah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we
follow Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and you raise your hands on your spouse, first of
all, shame on you. Shame on you, that you raise your hands on your wife, if the property is some did
not do it. What gives you the authority? Did your culture give you the authority to do that? If the
culture says that this is normal, if the culture says that this is acceptable, but the problem is,
I'm saying that no, it is not acceptable, you have a decision to make that what do you think you
		

			want to do next? Today, we live in a society for some reason, that we think that only, you know, by
verbally abusing your spouse and your wife, by being physically abusive towards your wife, that you
have control in the house, you're able to show her who's the dominant person in the house, to the
Prophet, some ever do that to his family, that problem ever go to any of his wives and say that he
has his dominance, you know, you know, he's trying to prove who is dominant inside the house. In
fact, I will say that if you're more worried about proving your dominance inside the house, then I
have to say that you're very insecure, you have a lack of confidence in you. That's why you feel
		

			like you have to do that to your wife, in order to get in order to shoot show true DOM inside your
house. Shame on you. The problem is I've never did that is the problem. Some was never physically
abusive. The property some was never verbally abusive, either. This is something that's very
important. Today, it is so sad, it it will lie, it is so sad, that people who are coming to the
masjid people who call themselves religious, they are, you know, the language they use against your
spouse is such that will lie if people found out in the community, that this is how they talk to
their wife, they will not be able to show their face in the society. This is how they talk to their
		

			spouse. I mean, you know, such a filthy language that men use against her wife. I have one question
for all those men who do something like that. That Do you think that this is acceptable before the
Prophet SAW Salem? If you were to stand before the province, Salam? And if the prophet it is someone
standing there? Do you think you can talk to your spouse that same way? The answer I'm going to let
me answer that for you answer is no. Then you will not be able to talk to your wife that same way in
front of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, so please, please stop verbally and physically
abusing your wives. This is not how Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. He treated his wives. Yes, there
		

			are times when there are situations when there is a problem between the husband and wife. Still, at
the end of the day physically being abusive, verbally being abusive is not the solution. It is not
the solution. The profiling some has taught us there was a hadith of a woman sold on the Autobahn
where he was hitting his slave, he is hitting his slave, something that may have been culturally
accepted at that time. Yet Rasulillah Salam, he's telling us almost all that still, the fact that
you are you may be his master, he may be your slave, that still does not give you the right and even
if he did something wrong, that still does not give you the right to hate him. If this is the
		

			Prophet he is I'm talking to someone who's considered as a master versus a slave. Then what do you
think the Prophet it is someone hasn't says about a husband, who verbally and physically abuses his
wife day in and day out, and there is no justification. Today, you have men at times will come and
say, well, she did this. And she did that. Or she said this and she said that, still, that does not
give you the right to hit to lift up your hand against your spouse. So this is the very first thing
how the problem he treated his wife. The second thing that he did always is that he always consulted
with them. No matter where he was, he would always consult with his wife, because this is how you
		

			show love to someone else. To show that I care about your opinion, to show your wife that I am
taking your opinion. I'm consulting with you. That shows a you are you're careful of her opinion,
not just careful, but you respect her opinion. You show her that you are a pivotal role. You play a
pivotal role in this family, you have a status in this family. This is what happens when you consult
with others. If someone did not take your consultation, think about it. If you are in a family, and
then someone took everyone's opinion, but your opinion was not taken. How would you feel? You will
not feel right? You will not feel you will feel disrespected. Think about the mother of your
		

			children. She does so much and you cannot take your opinion. Why? Because culturally we learn in
many cases that if you are the breadwinner of the house, and you're making all the money in the
house and you're making perhaps more than her in
		

			Some cases, then you don't need to take her opinion. That's not what we learn from us lotsa Salem,
in the time of her day via the province on went to Ole Miss Salama, and one of the most difficult
times of his life, he went to OMA Selma and he consulted with her. And it's not like as if he
consulted with her. And he just ignored her what she had to say. But he consulted with her, she gave
her opinion. And he did exactly what she had said to him. And lo and behold, that was the solution
for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, brothers and sisters, the Prophet alayhi salam, if he
can consult with his family members, if he can consult with his wife, and that is not a you know,
		

			that's not him losing or that's not his masculinity diminishing, then there is no reason for you to
not consult with your family, when it comes to a point in matters when it comes to matters where
they will play a role. When it comes to matters that are relevant to them. You need to always take
their opinion, yes, there are going to be some situations such as you know, there might be some
situations that you don't need to take their opinion, or you there's no need to consult with them. I
understand that not every single matter, but usually majority of the matters, we need to consult our
spouses, and everything that we learned about Rasulullah saw someone how he treated his wives was
		

			that he was always emotional caring about them. He always would think that how is my wife feeling
about a certain situation? How is my wife? How does she feel in this kind of situation? Once there
was a man who had created some who Yeah, he had, you know, cooked some soup. And he had in virus who
also Allahu alayhi wa sallam, and the probably some ask that can i You shall come? And he says, No,
this is just only for you. Oh, yeah, Rasul Allah, you know, the prophet it is some did, he turned
down that invitation. Again, the invitation came, again, the properties I'm turning down. Third time
the invitation came the property. Some said that if you allow Ayesha to come with me, only then I'm
		

			willing to come otherwise, I'm not willing to come. Why do you think the property some did that is
because the property some understands that if I go right now, then I she's going to be home all
alone. And you know, for her she's going to be you know, there will be some kind of like pain in her
heart that I'm sending all all alone at home. And the property is something's going out. Now, I do
want to make this very clear. You know, like, in some families, men go out with their friends, the
women go out with their friends, that's absolutely fine. If this is something that's practiced in
the family, that's absolutely fine. But it's not also correct. It's not right, that only the man
		

			gets to go out and be around his friends and have a good time. And the wife never gets that
opportunity. There has to be a balance in our family. If you're giving that time to yourself, you
want to go hang out with others, Yun and you're not giving your wife that opportunity. Then think
about how your wife feels. And she's not going to feel so good about it. Because she's alone at home
while you are going having fun. She's all alone at home, the Prophet of Islam he felt and he
understood I should have the alotta on has feelings. And that's why he said that he will not do
that. Even we also learned in the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu it was setting up that one day he
		

			was lying. He was lying down next to it. So the Allah Allah, that's her night. That is her Huck that
night. And so that night belongs to her. But what are the properties do now had the Prophet alayhi
salam that night it is mentioned that he spent his entire night in arriba to Allah subhanho wa
taala. And the next morning beleid came and he sees that the Prophet of Islam is crying. And there's
like a puddle of water inside his home because of the tears coming from the eyes of the prophets of
Salaam. But what's important to understand because our of this current context, before the providing
some stood up, he asked to Alisha, Alisha, is it okay with you that tonight I spend my night with my
		

			Lord. And the reason why the prophet is someone's asking permission is because he understands that
tonight is her Huck, tonight. She wants to be with me. But tonight I want to spend my time with
Allah. Now the Prophet alayhi salam, if he was arrogant, he could have said you know what I Isha? I
don't care about your feelings. I don't care about what you want. I want to stand before Allah
subhanho wa taala. It's a noble cause. I don't care how you feel. That's not what the prophet it
sounded. He asked I Isha first. Is it okay with you. And I said, yellow. So Allah, if this makes you
happy that this makes me happy, too. I mean, so this is what the Prophet alayhi salam was, so he was
		

			caring about her emotional feelings. And this is today what we need to do today for the most part,
we have no idea. We never are thinking about how our wife will feel about something. And therefore
we don't usually pay any attention to that. And we don't pay attention to their feelings. Even we
also learned that when the battle of brother came, his own daughter, the property is on his daughter
was sick, and her husband or son was there. He wants to go into battle. What are the Prophet alayhi
salam saying, No, you stay at home. Oh, man, you stay at home and take care of your family. Because
this is what the prophet it sounds teaching that you have to stay at home and
		

			Take care of your family, if your wife is sick, if your spouse is sick, taking stay at home and
looking after them and taking care of them, it becomes our responsibility. The Prophet saw some is
in enforcing this. And this is a very strong lesson, especially for those people who want to leave
behind their families at times, and they want to go for our purposes, and their wife is sick, their
children are sick, and it's absolutely fine with them why picture there's a noble cause you think
brother was not a noble cause? Think about it, you think but that was not a noble cause. The very
first battle of Islam and Osman could not go why? Because the Prophet it is I'm saying that stay at
		

			home with your wife. This is a very powerful lesson for all of us brothers. In the in the practices
of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we also learned that the prophets Allah son was always
about having a good time, there is nothing about having a good time, there's nothing wrong and
having a good time with your wife. You know, sometimes if you can, you know, have someone to come
and take care of your children, and go out for dinner, you know, joke around with your wife make
each other laugh, you know, it's not the priority, some did not come at home. And he just, you know,
he had this stern, you know, attitude. Today, many times men feel like, you know, I need to show on
		

			the man of the house. So when I go at home, I'm not going to joke around with anyone, I'm not gonna
laugh and giggle and you know, have like this, you know, this easygoing temperament with my family,
I'm going to have the stern attitude. That's not who the profile is. Some was the profile is
something you raised with Aisha or the other on how we all know that story. That one time the
Prophet alayhi salam he lost why Isha the second time the Prophet SAW he beat Hi Isha. But like,
think about this, there are so many things that we can do today, if you want to sit down as a family
and play a board game, do a play a board game, you know, the lighten the mood, play or play with
		

			each other, in that sense, do things are considered as adventurous with each other. This is what the
prerelease is teaching us. Because when you are around your wife, and this is the kind of tempered
temperament and the nature that you have, the wife is going to feel very easygoing, too, and this
will bring love between the two. Finally, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam. You know, today in
many families, we also see a situation that where the man is so religious, and the wife may not be
at that level of religiosity. And the husband enforces the wife to come to that level of
religiosity. He enforces religion upon his own children, brothers and sisters, the wives of the
		

			Prophet SAW Selim, were nowhere there were not close in spirituality to the Prophet salallahu Salam,
they were on different levels. The prophets have never enforced that upon them. He never like you
know, put like force upon them. And he put compulsion upon them. And you know, that they have to do
they have to come in spirituality to the level that he is, he will give advice, he would talk to
them, encourage them and slowly and gradually build up their spirituality. This is what we need to
do when it comes to our own spouses also, when it comes to our own children to if they are not on
that level that we need to work on that use hikma, Allah says, Oh, don't read SMEs are bigger, but
		

			Hekmati well, more a little Hasina, use Hekima and use good advice good words, be encouraging and
this is how you bring them up in a religious manner. So this is our first segment regarding how the
poverty is I'm treating his wives. Inshallah next we'll talk about some other ways to properly use
some he showed love and respect to his wives in sha Allah, I ask Allah subhana wa Tala to make us
amongst those who who treat their spouses and the correct way we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us
for amongst those who are the best immutable Alamy Zakum Allah Hi Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi
Wabarakatuh.
		

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