Nadim Bashir – Etiquettes #03 Manners Of Making Salam To Each Other

			Last week or two weeks ago, I stood here and I said that inshallah we will be going through some of
the important RDAP of our deen. And the intention of covering all this is so that first of all, it
serves as a reminder for all of us. But more importantly, we teach our children these add up, and
Wallahi if you mingle with others, and you talk to others and you are around others will lie I will
say one thing, and I'll explain it some other time. But you will agree when I say this Alhamdulillah
Allah, Muhammad Islam,
		

			all things is to Allah subhanho wa Taala that he has given us Islam will Allah He, when you see
other civilizations, when you see other religions, when you see other cultures will law he Islam is
a nightmare from Allah subhanho wa Taala and Islam has taught us how to do everything. Islam, Islam
has taught us o'clock, Islam has taught us adab and if we apply these adab it makes us the best. But
if we don't apply this adapt, then we're no different than anyone else. So that is why today
inshallah I want to keep this short inshallah. Today we're talking about one thing that you and I,
we've heard this before, but once again, it's a reminder for all of us that what are the dab,
		

			especially when it comes to making salaam to each other? And how do we teach our children about the
importance of making salaam to each other? First of all, is that we find in a hadith of the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that when Allah created the MATA he Salam, he said, that go and make
Salam to the angels, and whatever response they give you, that will be the that will be the salam,
and that the here and the greeting for your own mother to come and your progeny. When the mother
your son went to the melodica, and he said As salam aleikum, the melodica responded by saying what a
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah and this hence is the salam for the entire Ummah have Rasulullah
		

			sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the one thing that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he
emphasized on because the one thing that the provider you some he really emphasized on was
community, but in order to bring that community together, because at that time, there was a lot of
racism that did exist. It was very unknown and very abnormal for a man to come from the Quraysh. And
he comes from an Arab descent, but you have Arabs and non Arabs around him. But that is exactly what
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam did. He brought people from all different walks of life, all
different ethnicities, and they were around Rasulullah salAllahu alayhi wasallam. And he knows that
		

			this is what Islam is. But in order for us to have that community to have that understanding of
unity in the community, Rasulullah sallallahu ala he was sending him when he first came to Medina,
what's the first thing he said he says, of Chu salaam, spread the salam, this is what he's telling
us spread the salam, literally speaking, that means say a Salam aleykum to each other. Of course,
metaphorically you can have some other meanings. At the same time we also find that the Prophet SAW
Allah while he was selling them, he says, in a hadith that Allah do lucuma Allah che in either for
Al to Moo hoo, Taha baritone? Should I now inform you of that one thing that if you were to do this,
		

			it will grow mutual love amongst ourselves. He then says of Shu salaam, obey intercom spread the
salam amongst each other. So that is why it is very important as a community, first of all we make
salaam to each other. But we often find the same thing we often find this problem, which is that
this is a person who has been coming to the masjid. I don't know him, he does not know me. So what
happens is that large amounts of time will go by, and people don't make some to each other. In fact,
many times I've seen this happening to where I'm standing with three, four people, and one person
will come and make sense to me. But then he will not make some to those two, three other people
		

			around them. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he reminds us in a hadith, he says, he
says,
		

			Salam Allah, Allah, Allah after woman, lamb Tardif that makes an arm to those who you know, and
those who you don't know. This is how you break the ice. When you don't know someone and you say
assalamu alaykum. And then of course I'm gonna respond as salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu.
Why? Because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that this is one the hook of a Muslim upon
another Muslim that when they say a Salam aleykum to you, you must respond to them. But there's no
better icebreaker than saying a Salam aleikum to each other. So when you don't know somewhere and
you've seen someone for a very long time, just go and say a Salam aleykum and they say they respond
		

			to say my name is such and such.
		

			Your name is such as such at least you get to know that person's name. And even if you don't know a
person's name, even if you don't know a person's name, ness, I understand that sometimes it could be
embarrassing. You meet someone for such a long time, you don't know their name. Okay? But you go to
them say Salam aleykum I apologize, but I don't know your name, can I get your name, please can get
your beautiful name. And they will give you your they'll give you their name. Even if, by the way,
if someone does come to you and say that what is your name? You know, the very first thing is, you
don't know who I am. Okay? You don't know who I am. I've been seeing you for 10 years you don't know
		

			I am brothers and sisters don't get offended, okay? If a person does not know your name, okay, then
just just simply mentioned mentioned your name, at least they have come to you, they want to know
you, they want to get to know you, they want to know your name, that's a good thing, at least at a
fresh start. You could have gone to them and ask them but at least they came to you and they're
trying to find out your name. So that is why don't get offended. But if you don't know someone's
name, go to them and try to find out their name. Now, some of the other things that we also we we
have to teach especially when it comes to our children is and this is from the seat of the province
		

			of Salem is that whenever he wouldn't go anywhere, he will make some out loud. So it is very
important you know one is you come inside the masjid someone sees you for for you know they do like
a gesture like you know like this, okay? And you from for say you know like this okay? So that's
fine. Okay, that's like a far distance Salam no problem with that. But you know, a lot of times what
happens is that someone will will walk by and they'll say, a Salam Alikum and you say, sir, okay, so
quietly that the next person cannot hear. Let's teach our children Okay, there is someone makes them
to you. You respond to the salam you know, subhanAllah This is no joke when I say this. There are
		

			times I've seen people making Salam Nyan said that Majid outside the masjid when you go outside and
you make salaam to someone. It is still whether you're at the masjid or you're outside the Masjid.
You should be making a salaam but you know how many times I've seen people, they go outside they see
someone in a supermarket Assalamualaikum and Wallahi I stand here by saying they just walked by
there's no Salam. No response. Like as if Salam only exists inside the Masjid. Okay, know, when you
when you see anyone you make Salam, of course they have to respond by if they're making salaam to
you out loud, you respond by saying a Salam aleykum out loud. Why? Because if you don't say a Salam
		

			aleykum out loud, they're gonna have this impression that I made Salam, I took the initiative to
make Salam, they did not respond to this. And all of a sudden, shaytaan is there to do what? to
inject negative ideas into the heart. See, he doesn't like you. He's always done like this with you,
and so forth. So that is why at that time, even when shaytaan does put those negative ideas into
your heart, just remove those ideas later on, say assalamu alaikum. Now if they still don't respond,
then you can ask them because by the way, there was a situation like this before in the time of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, where as a hobby came, there's a long story, but it's about this
		

			dua Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah Subhana Allah in the quantity of volume and whereas the hobby came,
and he saw another hobby and he made salaam to him two three times, but he was so mentally engrossed
with something else that he was. So mentally, like, you know, busy was something that he did not pay
attention. So sometimes it may happen, it can happen. We're human beings, we're just mentally
obsessed with something we're thinking about something someone comes makes them to us to the times,
that's a different case. But you see someone they look at you, you say someone they come, they don't
respond, there's nothing wrong in going and finding out to them. Also, we find from the dab of the
		

			Prophet SAW Salem, when there's a group like a gym, I like here, if someone walks into the masjid,
whose responsibility is it to make some
		

			the person who has just walked in? Okay, and if they make Salam if even one person from the entire
Jamaah response to their Salam Yfp it's, it's sufficient, okay? The it is sufficient on behalf of
everyone else. If so, just one person make Salam also we are we learned that when it comes to making
salaam to the elder now we learn that generally speaking, the prophesy son would always teach the
younger children to go and make Salam first, they should go and we should teach our children go and
make Salam. But at the same time, sometimes many times our children are very shy. They don't know a
certain uncle, and especially if see if they seen that Uncle yelling or getting mad, then you know,
		

			they were like, This is the angry uncle. Okay? This uncle is to stay away from this man. Okay? So
what happens is sometimes they don't want to come close, or they don't want to come and make the
salam. They don't want to initiate the salam. We learn also from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam that he would go main times like NSF in America, the Allahu Anhu mentioned because honestly,
Malik was a child in the Hitman of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So he does mention that
many times Rasul Allah son would go to the children
		

			And he would make sense them to them first. So there's nothing wrong in going in and making some to
the children and especially like, you know, there are some people in our community Wallahi these are
some seniors we have one particular senior, I know in my mind right now. So this is Uncle Sumo. He
comes here often, he doesn't come often right now because of his health concerns. But every time
Subhanallah he comes, he always has his pockets are full with like lollipops and gum and so forth.
Okay? So literally these children will run to him when they see him. They're like, Oh, this is the
candy uncle, okay. So they come running to him and so forth. So, once again, if children see that,
		

			this uncle or this, this man he has made an initiative, he has come to him and so forth, then they
will find a way to come back and if you keep that relationship with them, Wallah he they will come
back over and over again. But this is how we teach our children how to make salaam now, we also find
in the books of add up, when you walk in inside a house for example, many people are sleeping. Allah
subhanho wa Taala does say for either the Hulten bu 10 for cell li mu Allah and for cecum the higher
terminal and the lone Baraka you. When you enter into a house you make Salam, but at the same time,
we also learn from the seat of the prophet that if you walked inside the house and people were
		

			sleeping, okay, you're gonna go with Sanam okay? No, okay, you're you don't come out. You don't come
inside the house and say assalamualaikum out loud. Of course you can come inside the house, say
Salam aleikum, but do not say out loud. If there are people who are sleeping. What if you see
someone who is praying don't make salam to them? Of course. Okay. When you see someone reading
Quran, if they look at you and they make eye contact, someone's reading Quran, you can say like this
from afar, or if they're reading right next to you can say a Salam wa they come to them, they can
make a Salam, they can respond to you also, I do want to say this, especially this is how this
		

			happens often. Usually, if I'm not given the hotbar I'm standing in the back, okay people always
coming back, somebody comes cycle while the hotbar is going on. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam he says, that even if you say unset like you till you see someone talking and you say, you
tell them stay quiet. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says for the level like you have done
something that is wrong, you have said now many some many orlimar have said that in light of this
hadith, even saying a Salam Alikum to anyone is not right. Okay, now you can once again do a gesture
like this, and they can do like this to you and you move on. But you sit there and say Salam
		

			aleikum, many Halima are against it. While some alumni have said is just a is not a conversation is
just responding to someone's Salam. But at the same time when your alumni have said that even during
the hotbar tried to stay away from it. Also, we learned that responding to Salam when someone now I
said this, that if someone if you are not getting along with someone, there's someone that community
that you and their personalities do not align with each other, or there's been some, you know, some
issue in the past and so forth. And they make Salam to you first, first of all, is when two people
are not talking, the person who takes us stuff first, to make solar amongst each other. They have a
		

			great reward in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa taala. The best way as I said earlier to break the ice
between two people is making cinnamon. Now if someone comes to you and you don't like them, okay,
well, for whatever reason it is and they make salaam to you, you cannot stay quiet, you are required
by Ardene to respond to them. Okay? So this is something very important that we have to teach our
children because, you know, children are such that today, they like one person tomorrow, they hate
that person tomorrow, they like the same person, you know, their emotions are up and down. So
sometimes they want to make some to someone they don't want to make some to someone, we always teach
		

			our children to always make sense to everyone, whether they like whether they like them or not,
whether they know them or not. Also, we learned that standing up now there's a long discussion or
books have added that what is the the correct understanding of standing up for others. While there
are some a hadith about standing up for others is not permissible. There are some a hadith about
like, for example, the Prophet alayhi salam was sitting with some of the unsought and the Prophet
saw some saw their leader
		

			side or the Allahu oncoming and so he said that stand up for your leader and mix it up to him. So in
our deen just to make a simple because there's a lot of extra love a lot of discussion on this
matter. If there is someone if there is someone who is a very highly revered figure, and they walk
inside the orlimar they say that if you're standing if you're sitting somewhere and so forth, just
because they have walked in, there's no need to stand up, okay, there's no need to stand up. If
someone comes to you, someone walks in they're coming to you and they're wanting to make some
there's nothing wrong if you stand up and you make salam to them, okay, there's nothing wrong with
		

			that. If they come by and you or or you go to someone you're standing and you go to someone and they
stand up out of respect. There's nothing wrong
		

			With that, however, the alumni they say that no person should should be that they just walk in and
everyone around should just stand up, a person could be sitting in the corner, they just stand up
there privately some saying that don't do something like that. At the same time when we talk about
reverence when talking about reverence, and showing reverence with someone, the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam also mentioned in a hadith, because more either of you alone and he mentioned that
when he came to the Prophet SAW Allah or some, he says that I went to a sham. And in a sham people
this is how they show reverence to each other to some their leaders and so forth. There was
		

			sometimes bow down, okay, there were some days bow down and make Salam, or greet their leaders and
so forth. To which Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that, no, I will not allow anyone to
bow down now we're going to talk about bowing down, try to talk to help you understand, you've seen
many times in the Hindu culture, okay, in the Hindu religion, you will see many people when they
when they go and they meet someone who has a high, you know, who has a great deal of respect, they
just don't bow down, they'll go all the way where to the feet, okay? They'll go all the way down and
touch the feet and honor what they do. But the point is, they go all the way down to the feet and
		

			they will do something, okay. But the point is, you can do something like that you're not saying it
doesn't matter who it is, but bowing down to that to that extent, because by the way, in that
culture, when they do that kind of stuff, they put that human being on such a high pedestal, okay,
such a high pedestal and they do that usually with the politicians and so forth. But it's almost a
revered these people almost like gods Okay, so in our deen to bow down in front of someone to that
extent, is absolutely not permissible under any circumstances. Even though Allah they say that even
if you're making salam to someone and you're bowing down because you feel like that they have their
		

			you know, if they are even a chef or anyone else, just sitting there making some That's enough, you
don't have to bow down in front of someone because that is not allowed in front of anyone besides
Allah subhanho wa Taala so these are just few things regarding salaam inshallah I want to share with
you, the most important thing is teach your kids the importance of Salaam, okay? Teach your kids the
importance of Salam come to the masjid makes it um, to everyone makes it um, to the uncles makes
them to their, to the, to their friends and so forth. Because when they have this nature from from a
tender age, they will grow up to have more respect for others. There are a lot of children here who
		

			come to the masjid. And not just here when I say here, I mean, I've seen other places also, you
makes it out to them. They don't know how to make Salam back, okay? You make salam to them. Because
one thing I will say this also when it comes to Salam, and I'm also guilty of this too, but we have
to work on this, which is that when someone says a Salam o alaikum to you, you need to give them
your full attention. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, whenever he was someone who make salam
to him, it was not like he was standing this way. And he's just making cinnamon, he's not even
looking at them. It is mentioned in the Shemitah, the prophet of Salaam, that whenever he would make
		

			salam to someone, he would turn his entire body in the direction of that person who's making Salam.
And then he would make Salam. So a lot of times you see you're trying to talk to a child, and you're
saying, I sit down what are you going and what did they do? They said yes, I go and they're just
running off. You're saying no, stop for a moment, say assalamu Alikum and then move on. These are
the some of the things the adults that we gotta teach our children Inshallah, and we as adults, we
have to keep that in mind inshallah I ask Allah subhana wa Taala to grant us the Adam and the
o'clock of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam immunoblot Alameen what is that? Kamala Hey, sit
		

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			Eileen