Nadim Bashir – Khatira – Etiquettes of Visiting Someone’s House

			One of the most beautiful things about our deen is that our deen is not just about anybody that our
deen has taught us, through the teachings of the Quran demonstrated by Rasulullah sallallahu. It was
sent him the dab of every single aspect of our life. If we're at home, how to behave at home, what's
our behavior at home? If I'm dealing with the community, how do I deal with community members? If I
go to someone's house? Where are the advocates in the ad up? If I go to the restroom? Where are the
advocates in the ad up? There are people who even came to the hospital, the Allahu Anhu. And they
said that your Islam has taught everything. And they were saying it in the meat in a way of mockery.
		

			And the Sahaba said, Yes, this is exactly what it is, even to the point that when we are with our
spouse, even our deen has taught us how to be around our spouse. So today, I want to quickly run
through something that based on some requests that have come from some community members. And
because you know, once again, we are we are living in a very social community, the request has come
to me is that if I can just quickly run through and just talk about what are some of the etiquettes
when we go to someone else's house and hamdullah you know, we get many invitations, the very first
thing that we have to understand when it comes to an invite is that number one, if you don't get the
		

			invite, and someone else does get the invite, then it should not be taken hard upon the heart. Many
times we feel that Oh, I found out that someone else got invited to their house, why wasn't I
invited? And then we take it upon ourselves that next time if that person who invited others if they
if we cross paths, and that person makes it um, sometimes we don't even give a proper Salam back.
Why? Because we have taken hard upon ourselves. Remember that? Number one is that there is no
guarantee or there is no, you know, there's no compulsion of there's no obligation upon the other
person to invite us if they wish to invite us, they will invite us. The second thing is that if we
		

			do get the invite, that in that kind of situation, if you have, you know, subhanAllah there are
times when people have come to me, they have told me that sometimes we are living in such a social
gathering, or such a social circle, that every single weekend, on Friday night, Saturday night, we
have to go somewhere because we have to keep our social circle alive. And I'll tell you honestly,
that if these kinds of social gatherings are taking a toll on you, your family, your religiosity,
your psychology, and you feel like the I'm just scattered everywhere every single day I have to go
somewhere, then there is absolutely nothing wrong to take a step back even Rama Rama de la la he has
		

			said that many times I have declined events, just because for my own spiritual sake for my own self
sake, I have declined and declined events. And there is nothing wrong in declining event in a proper
way. Now the next thing that we also learn from the Sunnah and the seal of the prophets of Salaam is
that when you go to someone's house, if you are invited, then the very first thing is that the Quran
says that Hulu boo you 10 available, you will take on that do not enter anyone else's house or a
house that does not belong to you. That means that even if you see someone's door open, you do not
walk into someone else's door. Even if you're invited. First thing is you should walk there and ring
		

			the doorbell and take permission before you walk in. Even on that same note, I will say that many
times it is a nature of many people, they see a house being constructed and is under construction.
And it's not you know whose house it is. But yet people start walking inside that house they start
analyzing that house and so forth. The Quran has told us Lata dahulu boo uten ye Rabu ut come do not
enter anyone else's house, how to start an e su till you are given permission, what to suddenly move
under Ania. And you make salam to those who are living. So first thing is that when we get to
someone else's house, we first take permission when we before we enter. Another thing that's also
		

			very common, which we have to be very careful about is that if I go to someone else's house
unexpectedly, like they're not expecting us, I'm going to drop off something and so forth, then we
have to pay a little extra attention to what time of the day it is. If it's early, like early during
the day, if it's late at night, try to avoid ringing the doorbell just to be cautious that they may
have children that children are probably sleeping at that time, and it may disturb them. So you have
to be you know, we have to be a little cautious about these kinds of things. When you walk into
someone's house. First thing is that we make salam to those who are living inside the house. We make
		

			Salam to the we make some to the host. And when we walk in, we learn from the Sunnah of the Prophet
SAW Salem and from the Sahaba Rhodiola one home that they will not sit anywhere till they were told
where to sit down. So this is another thing that's very important is that wherever we're told to
sit, we will sit over there. Another thing that's also part of our deen is that we have to observe
and respect the privacy of the home owner and the host. That means that if you see a door that is
closed, you don't open that door to go inside and inspect. In fact, you know somebody
		

			Allah, I've been told that sometimes this happens in our Muslim community that people will come
sometimes they will bring some food. And while giving that food, they will do like a 360 inspection
of the house, okay? They, you know, okay, they have this and they have this and they have that. And
in times I've even heard that people go, and they will take their phones out, Oh, I like this
painting. You know, every single thing, every single you see around, you start taking pictures of
it, it is highly disrespectful when you do these kinds of things. It is, you know, the host you make
the host uncomfortable and those kinds of situations. Yes, absolutely. If you ask, you know, you see
		

			something very beautiful. You ask you see a nice, beautiful calligraphy, where do you buy this from
once in a while is fine. But to ask for every single thing. Okay, where did you get this? Where'd
you get this? Where'd you get this? This is not appropriate when you go to someone else's house.
Another thing that we also learn is that trying to understand the host, and to understand his
dynamics in the sense that one is to go and eat food. And after the food is over, a lot of times we
began to engage and in every single diet, there's two subjects that always get highly discussed.
First one is
		

			politics. Okay? Whether it's world politics, community, politics, family politics, is politics. And
the second thing that always gets discussed on the dinner table is religion. And I will say that
I've seen at times what happens is that sometimes I've seen this happening where when these topics
get discussed, sometimes the discussion can become a little heated. In that particular situation,
someone from the guest needs to take a stand at that time and say, You know what, we won't discuss
these kinds of things because you're making the host see the host is the host the host is going to,
you know, they they like to invite people so the host may not stop it, but the guests need to stop
		

			it right away. Another thing that we also learned from the Quran is when Allah subhanho wa Taala
says for either time to infant Tashiro, when Musa is seen in the Hadith, sometimes people will stay
there and they will stay there for an hour, two hours, three hours, and it becomes difficult upon
the hosts. That is why
		

			that's why is upon the guest to understand try to read and after a while if you feel that now is the
time or even the host can say the host can absolutely say that, you know, does that go ahead? And
you know, my family, we need to, we need to wrap it up. Now there's nothing wrong in saying that at
all your that is not disrespecting the guest at all. And one or two more things I do want to share
is that one thing that I have seen and I've heard so many times, which is highly disrespectful, when
you go to someone's house is is the food halal?
		

			Is the foods of Bihar, it is highly disrespectful. Look, I will say this being very honest, if you
get an invite, okay, if you get an invite, and if that person purchases their meat from a place that
you personally would disagree, it is not your preference. That's fine. You can simply decline as I
said already, you can decline the event or the invite and say, I have I'm I'm you know busy perhaps
or something and you don't go that's fine. But to go to someone's house and say that where do you
buy the chicken from? Where do you buy your meat from? Is this a Bihar isn't known as the Bihar this
is absolutely unequivocally disrespectful to their home owner to go and ask the homeowner that can
		

			you please show me where you bought this and then you're reading the ingredients in front of the
host? Or to go to someone's house which I've heard you go to someone's house and you're opening the
fridge and you're seeing what kind of things do they have inside their fridge to analyze if they buy
halal foods or not, or to go to their spice cabinet. I've heard these kinds of stories. These are
not fairy tales. I've heard these kinds of stories. This is absolutely disrespectful brothers and
sisters. Even when you get invited to a restaurant, even if you get invited to a restaurant, I will
recommend two things. Either you call the restaurant upfront and you ask them where do you if you
		

			know if you are if you are very worried about it, you call the restaurant in advance and you ask
them where they buy them and where they purchase their meat from and so forth. And if it's according
to your preference and you like it and it's okay with you, you go otherwise a second option is when
you go there you don't touch anything that you would deem you would deem or anyone else would deem
not right and your own personal opinion and that's it but to go even to the to the cash register,
which are a poor man has no idea where the more the meat has been purchased from and where do you
buy your meat where this where that harassing the guy at that time? It's highly wrong. Brothers and
		

			sisters, sometimes we become overzealous about our religion, that we begin to cross boundaries that
we don't even understand that we're crossing boundaries. And the last thing is that before we leave,
make dua for the guest of thought are in that Maasai Moonwalker, but I was salata lake when melodica
Allahu Akbar Amina, was three months upon and make dua
		

			After the host make dua for the family of the host and so forth. That is what you want to do. Now
one last thing I forgot to mention early on is that before you go to someone's house imagine, a lot
of times I've heard this also that someone has passed away in the family. Usually there is a
timeframe of the day that people usually go to their homes. Sometimes there are people who will who
will just show up at their door, as if they're doing a favor upon the the host and we have come here
to visit you and so forth is very important to understand that we respect the time of the host also,
ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala he mentioned so 200 Wallow Sabado, Hatha kraja in a him, Locanda heilala home
		

			this is Allah talking about a Bedouin man who came to the house of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, the Prophet alayhi salam was spending quality family time and he began to shout out Yeah,
Mohammed Yeah, Muhammad, like he wants to probably some to come outside and entertain his question.
And Allah subhanho wa Taala said, If this man stood outside and he was quiet and he was he was
patient, this is better for him. Why did Allah say that? To teach this man a lesson? Who is the
guest or who has unexpectedly shown up at someone else's house that tried to observe some respect
for that person for that person and his time and so forth? It's not right to show up at someone
		

			else's house unexpectedly announced and expecting them to give you that time of the day. If they
open the door they give you time has no problem inshallah. So these are just few things I want to
share that we always keep in mind. Once again, these are things that we learned from the Sunnah and
the seal of the prophets. I'll set them I asked us to make us amongst those who observed the Sunnah
in the Sierra and the etiquettes of our deen Amitabha Allah mean is that como la Hey, Assalamu
alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh in Mussolini now almost Lima Do you want meaning what meaning do
you want to quantity now I looked on it that he was loading pain I was boarding on the one saw the
		

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all in
		

			one heavy Lina photo gentlemen one half your warranty was that good enough long I guess.
		

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