Nadim Bashir – Khatira – 4 Important Things to Teach Our Children

			A few weeks ago, it was I believe it was total Fudger I had talked about the importance of teaching
our kids some view important aspects of life. And today inshallah I want to continue that same
thing. And once again, the reason why I talk about these things is that this is me as the Imam when
I see these kind of issues in the community. It is important that it's part of my job and my
responsibility, first of all to the community. And number two is in front of Allah subhanho wa Taala
to educate the community because I learned from the greatest Imam the greatest Imam ever to come was
Rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he was the best Imam, and SubhanAllah. When I say the Sita,
		

			the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, one thing we find very consistently is that whenever
Rasulillah Salam would hear about something going on in the community, when people will come to him
and inform him about something that is affecting people in the community, Rasul Allah, Allah,
someone would not sit idle, he will rather get up and he will address the entire community, because
that is the responsibility of a leader. So today, inshallah quickly I want to go few go go through
few important things that we have to teach our children, I have given some lectures about this, we
can even learn many things from the story of Omar Al Hakim, how he addressed his son and what He
		

			taught his son, but these are few things say, inshallah I want to quickly cover first of all, is,
when it comes to our parenting, and especially many of us here, we grew up overseas, we were raised
overseas. And when we we know, many, especially many parents, I'll be here, when you were, you know,
in your early 20s, perhaps you came here to America, you worked hard, you create a living for
yourself, you probably went back overseas to get married, or you got made over here, we had children
over here and so forth. But what happened was that when we had children, we understand the
environment that we live in. And hence what many parents they did was, they created a bubble around
		

			their kids, in the name of protecting their kids, they created a bubble, and they kept their
children in this bubble. And what that bubble did was that it completely disconnected them from the
entire society. This is why Subhanallah you find many families that they have absolutely no social
etiquettes their kids have no social etiquettes. You know, one thing is I've also talked about this
before to one is Islamic mannerisms. Giselle Kamala had a Salam aleykum, you know, Alhamdulillah,
you know, you say there are some certain etiquettes, that Adam Islamically that we abide by, but
socially, also, there are some etiquettes, that we generally don't abide by the simple fact that you
		

			want to move some around someone. The simple rule is you say, excuse me, you don't do a lot of
Muslim kids who don't even know how to speak in public. They can even raise their voices in public.
They can they don't understand. Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. They don't understand. I apologize. They don't
say they don't understand even when someone sneezes, the general rule is what do you say, bless you.
But they're sitting there and the person is looking at them that they will say bless you. And they
have no idea what to say. So what happens is that we keep our kids in a bubble. Now, there's another
aspect of that bubble. And that is that we try to keep our kids away from everything in society.
		

			Why? Because these things are calling our kids to things that are not considered right. Now, here's
the point where we have to keep in mind, we have to create a balance when it comes to our kids. It's
not easy, but we have to create a balance. See, if you keep your kids away from the phone, first of
all, is I'm a strong believer in the fact that you don't give your kids a phone at a very young age,
because what you're doing is you're putting the entire world in their hands. And while it comes with
a good It comes with its fair share of wrong and evil too. So what you're doing is you are giving
your kids that ability to see and do whatever they want online. I'm not a strong believer in that.
		

			But many parents, they give their kids phones, but then there are some parents who say no phones at
all to the age of 18, and so forth. Once again, there has to be a balance somewhere. Or there are
some you know, when I was growing up as a kid, also, this was something very well known overseas,
you know, because there are not many alumni and scholars growing up here in America. So there was a
lot of emails that were imported from overseas. And when they were imported from overseas, they
brought their own baggage and their own fatawa and so forth. I remember growing up as a kid, this
was a common sentence. Okay, it was an ordeal. TV drama. Okay. You get it. Okay. This was something
		

			common. Okay. Now is exactly the TV is a haram. No, necessarily is haram. The point was that we have
to teach our kids that you can use a TV for the right purpose. You can use a TV for the wrong person
now nowadays don't watch TV. Now their TV has become YouTube, okay? Everything has become YouTube.
So what we need to do is instead of keeping our kids in a bubble where we say no to everything, and
that is one extreme. And there's one extreme that we give
		

			them everything we give them all the abilities and so forth, we have to create a balance and what
that balance is that we have to take them out of that bubble and give them the education. See, you
cannot say forever, I'll keep them away from a phone, eventually there will come a time that you
have to give them the phone. But what we need to do is we teach our kids how to use the phone,
social media is not going anywhere, okay? Social media is not going anywhere, you know, you're gonna
have your Facebook, you're still gonna have your Twitter, even though he has been taken over by Elon
Musk, okay, but nonetheless, you're gonna have your Instagram, you're gonna have your tic TOCs,
		

			you're gonna have all these kinds of things. You cannot take these away from your kids lives, they
will have access to it in one shape or form. The rule is we have to teach our kids how to be
discipline, we have to teach our kids how to use them correctly, there is something called a fickle
social media, how to use social media and what capacity you should use on social media, when should
you use social media when you should avoid from social media? This is something that we have to do
and part of that bubble also is that sometimes we are so strict on our kids, that eventually that
bubble will pop that bubble will burst. I have seen so many youth I have seen so many youth they
		

			were raised in very strict families and Subhanallah the day they had freedom or they had as they
call it Azadi Okay? When they when they were going to schools, now they had no no parental
supervision and so forth. There was so much of a buildup inside of so many years, that then they
felt like you know what, for all these years, I saw my friends, I saw things online, I could not do
because of my parents now today, I will do them. And they go so far. And beyond that, then they
leave eventually Islam. So when it comes to our kids, we cannot raise them in a bubble. We have to
grow them a we have to help them grow up in a way that they understand what discipline is. So this
		

			is the very first thing. The second thing that we have to teach our kids is resiliency. So one thing
our kids is that what they have today is they don't have the ability to work hard, and to spend time
and invest time and energy. You know, especially so bahala tell you honestly, if you go on social
media right now, there's all these videos on, on you know on tick tock and Instagram and so forth of
how to become rich overnight. You buy this, you buy that, buy this, buy that, go to this store, do
this, go to that store and do that. So what our kids are growing up with the mentality is let me try
to make a quick buck overnight. Let me try to become rich overnight, and it does not work like that.
		

			Once again Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is such an amazing example for us. Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam at the age of he got married at 25. Okay to Khadija, the Allah Juana.
Before 25. He was already a shepherd, which taught him so many lessons of life. But then after that
he became an international businessman, even before the age of 25. He was traveling internationally
for Khadija Radi Allahu anha and maintaining her business. The point is that we and what this
basically is even you know, when you say the life of the prophet, it is someone who is a shepherd
that teaches you resiliency, that teaches you commitment that teaches you responsibility, it teaches
		

			you discipline, it teaches you patience, it teaches you bravery, there's so many things that you
learn as a shepherd. Why did all the Umbria go through this process? Because Allah subhanaw taala
one of them to learn this. And the most important thing is resiliency, how many kids today, they
don't like a small job, I quit three days, they will quit two weeks, they'll quit a week, they will
quit. Why? Because one thing that our kids don't have, which many parents at home that they had was
when they came to this country is, you know, no matter what we will put in the hard work hard work
is, you know, it is required. You know, we say this in order to say this man addict that car here,
		

			you know, we've heard this before, you have to give hard work. So one thing that we have to teach
our kids is resiliency, you don't like something, get through it, learn how to get through it, learn
how to manage it. Now, if it becomes extremely, you know, problematic, then yes, you take a step
back, but we have to teach our kids resiliency and learning, you know, teach them how to stick
through the difficult times. The third thing that's very important is and this is especially for
those parents who send their kids to Islam expose
		

			the Islamic schools responsibility is not to give therapy to your child. It is your job at home to
give them tarbiyah we pay money to Islamic schools, no doubt, because we have to pay for the
teachers and we have to take care of the the infrastructure of the school and so forth. But you
cannot expect that the school will do your job. That's not the school's job. The school's job is
		

			To do it to, you know, to fill up the gaps that may have been left behind, after the therapy at
home. This is what the school's responsibility is. The school does teach the school does educate.
But the first place where a child learns is where is at home, we have to create a very healthy
Therby I place an environment at home, and we cannot I've heard so many parents say, Oh, this is
summer school, and that is summer school. And I've seen parents, they really there's no tarbiyah in
the family. And they think that I will send to a summer school or a supplement to this convention or
something to this Islamic program. And automatically, like, you know, abracadabra, you know, we'll
		

			just do something and they will become fixed overnight. It does not work like that. It starts from
the home that Serbia is provided from the home, then later on, you want to send them to a good
environment and environment where the Teach Quran and Sunnah, and Quran and calling while you call
those who saw Salam, no problem. But once again, the place where it all starts from is home. And
that means that it takes the mother and the father, it's not only the mother's job brothers, is not
only the mother's job, often in families, we see that the father says, As long as I provide an
income, and I provide food on the table, and I provide a roof over your head, that's only my job.
		

			That's not only your job, part of your job is to provide therapy to your child could look I'm
robbing what could look at this is the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So as
follows, we have to change our mindset. And we have to understand that the place where the Tobia
will be provided primarily, once again, is going to be at home. And finally, the last thing is, you
know, our kids mashallah are very smart. Our kids are very smart. And what happens is that when they
see things around, they will ask you questions.
		

			See, the rule is, we teach our kids that who you follow is not people who you follow is Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, because you know how many times our kids will come to us and say, Oh, I
found out about this brother who comes to the budget, he does such and such, or this sister comes on
budget, they do such and such, or my friend and his father and his parents, they're considered very
religious, and they do such and such. And what he does is that it creates doubts inside their heart.
What we need to teach our children is Islam, first of all, is a beautiful religion. Okay? And even
when you see when the art can see that there are other people who commit crimes, in the name of
		

			Islam, they always ask this question that how can they do this when they are Muslims, and this is
what we have to teach our children. Islam is a beautiful religion. At the same time, there's going
to be people who are going to do things wrong in the name of Islam, to justify their actions. And
this is not Islamic at all. And number two is that we do not follow people. We cannot live our life
saying I'm going to live like this person. We live our life following none other than Rasul Allah He
sallallahu alayhi wa salam, because Subhanallah today in a world where there are people who are put
off with religion, they keep on saying this, they keep on saying this, you know, that, you know,
		

			these religious people, these religious people, and my question my answer to all these kinds of
people who make these kinds of objections when they say, Oh, these religious people are these rulers
and do they say these kinds of things? My answer to them always is, Who told you to begin with Who
told you to follow this particular man? This man is reminding you this sister is reminding you of
Allah and His Prophet SAW Selim, you are to follow Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam because
the reality is, as human beings will make mistakes, we're not when you know we have fallacies, but
on the other hand, the best example is not none other than Rasul Allah He sallallahu alayhi wa
		

			sallam, there are people who will follow some, and then they find out something, something wrong
about them, and they're put off by Islam and they're like, you know, what, if this person is a
representation of Islam, that I want nothing to do with Islam, but Allah subhanho wa Taala never
taught us to follow this man or this woman, Allah subhanho wa Taala or whether they are a teacher
and instead are more or lay more Imam whoever it is. What we have been told to follow is Rasul
Allah, He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and we teach our kids this, that you follow the Sunnah of
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So these are few things. Inshallah. Number one, once again,
		

			was we don't keep our kids in a bubble. Number two was teach them resiliency. Number three was that
this home is the primary place of therapy. And number four is we always teach our kids to follow the
example of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I ask Allah subhana wa Taala that he protects our
upcoming generations. May Allah Subhana Allah keep them in the fold of the following the Quran and
the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salallahu Salam immunoblot I mean, where does that come Allah hate Salam
aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
		

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