Mustafa Khattab – Dealing the Opposite Sex
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
So, inshaAllah, today we'll continue our discussion about
this Kaaba. And today's khanakha is a response
to a question I got from 1 of
the brothers
about the limits or the adab
of the relationship between males and females in
Islam, the sexes in Islam.
So we start by an introduction about men
and women in Islam. Number 1, all of
us are the children of Adam and Hawa,
Adam and Eve.
So this is number 1. Number 2: men
and women in Islam are equal but different.
Equal
but different. They are not identical.
Okay.
Me and,
say for example,
the brother here, we are equal but different.
We are 2 men, but we are equal
but different. He is much taller than me.
Maybe he is more handsome than me. We
are not identical. Okay? The same way men
and women are equal but but not
they are equal, but different. They are not
identities.
So we read in the Quran that if
a Muslim, whether,
you know, it's a man or a woman,
does something good,
each of them will get the same reward.
We hear in the Quran, whoever does works
of righteousness,
man or a woman,
will get this reward and this reward. Indeed,
the Muslimi and the Muslimah, the believing men
and the believing women, till the end of
the day, acts. So the Quran always talks
about men and women getting the same reward
and also getting the same punishment.
In the Quran, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala talks
about the same punishment
for male and female fornicators,
for male and female,
thieves,
tughs,
and hassles.
Right?
So this is number 1.
Number 2, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala created men
and women for different roles and different
you will find
that, just like in the Islamic principles, the
men usually take care of the exterior of
the house, outside the house,
they work, they provide, they maintain, they protect,
and the women take care of the internal
affairs of the house.
And I I gave an example
of America and Canada,
not a single woman has ever been elected
in the past 250
years in Canada or America for president or
prime minister.
Kim Campbell, 1993,
she was never elected.
Something happened, she came to office, she stayed
for a few months, they had elections after
she lost a big time, but not a
single woman has ever been elected to office.
I don't know why, but this is how
it works here.
The prophet
says that women are the second half of
men,
and by the same analogy, men are the
second half of women.
So in Islam, men and women, they are
like the 2 wings of a plane.
You have to have both so the society
will survive.
And this is a very interesting observation from
English.
The word woman
has the word man in it because they
complete each other.
The word female has the word male in
it. The word she has the word he
in it.
The word missus has the word mister in
it. The word man has the word Adam
in it.
So they complete each other. I think this
is an interesting
observation.
There are 3 different ways
of how men and women interact in Islam.
Okay. The first one is an extreme,
so when a lady sees a man, she
doesn't talk to him, she runs away as
if she has seen a dragon,
and a man, whenever he sees a lady,
he runs away as if he has seen
a dinosaur.
So this is
one one way of behaving.
In extreme intrani,
So the second extreme is there are no
limits, no adaab, no aflap, nothing.
Okay?
We do like other people. Okay? When we
see these men and women see each others,
they shake hands, they hugs and kisses, and
all that stuff. And they go outside by
themselves, they stay away for hours or days,
nobody cares. So this is another extreme.
So the 3rd,
way of behavior, and this is the Islamic
way, men and women in Islam that can
deal with each others,
but within the guidelines of the Sharia. Number
1,
you talk only to the other * if
there is a need.
If there is a need, if you need
to talk, if there is a reason to
talk, you can talk.
Number 2,
you talk on the topic,
but don't try to extend the conversation,
you know,
you you you are visiting a brother in
his house, you knock on the door, the
sister opens the door,
so you are there to ask if the
brother is in the house or not.
She said he is not here.
Okay, now it's taught to talk about something
else,
how do you like the weather?
What's cooking? What are you cooking today? It's
none of your business, man. Just get the
heck out of there. He is not there,
Falaslim. Don't
start conversations.
Do you have an account on Facebook, by
the way? No.
Come on, man. Come on. Your brother is
not there. You have to respect the privacy
privacy of your brother.
Also, you have to speak in a decent
manner.
Okay?
Don't pre behave like someone you are not.
And the sister also, some of them, they
pretend like, you know, whatever.
Wafil Quran, fa'ala taflaalabil
kawwifahalma'alafiqalbihima.
And the Quran is talking to the wives
of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. Whenever
the Sahaba comes to ask you about something,
don't soften the tone of your speech. Just
be, you know, who who whatever you are.
Be yourself.
Okay? And of course, number 4, lower your
gaze. Don't keep looking and staring for hours.
So in the Seerah of the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam, women would come and ask
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam questions about
Islam. That Sami Allahu told her let it
to Jadillu fabisam ji. A lady, not only
she spoke to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam, but she debated with him. Surah Al
Mujaddil
In Bayah, in Hudaybiyyah,
the women will come and play, you know,
pay allegiance, Ubayyah.
The prophet
just like them, the men did.
So that was for men and women.
Fikasud
Salman
Radiallahu Anil Sahib Muhkhal.
So in the authentic Hadith Sahih Bukharis,
Salma radiAllahu Anhu, one of the Sahabas, saw
the wife of Abu Darda, another Sahabi in
Madinah, and she didn't look like she was
in a in a good shape. Something was
wrong with her. So he came and asked,
you know, what's going on? He was trying
to help. She said, my husband fast all
day long. He stays the whole night in
salah. He just pretends like I don't even
exist.
So he went to him. He gave him
food. He told him to eat.
When he tried to, stand up in salah
all night, he told him, no. Go to
sleep. A little bit before fast, he told
him to woke up and and pray.
Then he told him, Allah has rights on
you.
Your wife has rights on you, and your
body has rights on you, so give
everyone his or her rights. Then
Abu Darda went to the prophet, sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam, and told him what happened. So
the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, said, Salman
has said the truth.
What's wrong with you? What's up?
Mahad Guqman, they said our father is an
old man, we can't
water our animals,
so we need a little help. That's all
they said. So he helped them, then he
went straight to the shade of the tree,
then he made dua'at
He
didn't show off. He didn't tell them, for
example, look at my muscles. Look how I
raised that thing.
Do you, wear eye contacts or these are
natural eyes? Eyes? Where do you live? Do
you have an email? You know, all that
stuff. It didn't say any of that thing.
Then when the lady came to him to
invite him to her house, her father's house,
she came as she was shy in the
way she walked and the way she spoke.
We'll conclude with this inshallah today. Maybe we'll
continue in the future, but the bottom line
is Muslim men and women, they can talk
to each other if there's a need.
And number 2, they have to keep,
to lower their gaze. And number 3,
they have to abide by the Islamic manners
of talking to people with decency and
straightforward to the point, and don't make a
scene and don't tell story. Just stick to
the point.
Does
Allah
subhanahu
wa ta'ala