Mustafa Abu Rayyan – 52 Tafseer Surah alBaqarah Verses 225227
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The importance of the "arepah chapter" in the Bible is discussed, as it focuses on issues related to marriage and divorce. The speaker emphasizes the importance of honoring one's oath and not breaking promises, as well as the need to not call people to account for actions and use the name of Jesus and his attributes. The importance of staying in a relationship for a period of time is also emphasized, along with the importance of not repeating the name of the creator and not swearing at them. The speakers also discuss the importance of not living in an Islamic country and not having a centralized authority, and the need for patience in relationships.
AI: Summary ©
My beloved brothers and sisters, I thank Allah
for bringing us together here in this gathering
and for allowing us to continue,
this, gathering
when we were on a very long break.
Some of that had to do with Ramadan
and other issues but
that we are here.
And I would like to apologize and seek
your forgiveness
for any the many absences.
May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala allow us to
continue this so that we can get towards
the end of the surah.
Surah Al Baqarah,
we were in the 2nd juz and I've
mentioned several times that this juz focuses mainly
on what, Ali?
You will not hear?
Rulings.
Rulings.
So we're doing a lot of fiqh. So
often when we, what's interesting is when we
are studying,
different Islamic sciences, you have some you have
a fiqh class an aqidah class, and then
you have a a Arabic language class, and
you have
a a tazkiyah class where you about spirituality.
And when you're doing tafsir, you're doing all
of it because all of those things came
from the Quran. So as you're reading the
Quran, you're coming across
different, things. So this is why I and
specifically
it
it has everything in it, which is why,
there was a lot of, in the previous
lessons where we spoke about the people of
the past, the prophets, their stories,
and different rulings. We spoke about prayer and
hajj and fasting.
And
now the following few lessons were heavy heavily
focused on matters related to marriage and divorce.
But,
the last lesson we had, the last ayah
that we did was speaking about the rulings
related or was it was a almost an
introduction to the rulings related to oaths
and swearing. Now when we say swearing, we
mean when you swear an oath. You say
I swear by Allah. What are some of
the rulings related to that? Today we start
with I number
225
where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,
Allah will not call you to account for
that which is an
unintentional
oath.
So
when we are we encouraged
to make many oaths? The answer is no.
So what is the regular ruling of making
an oath? Meaning say, wallahi, I'm going to
do this. I swear by Allah, I'm going
to do that. What is the ruling of
that? Generally speaking, we say this is disliked.
This is disliked. In fact to do this
a lot, I swear by Allah this. I
to do this a lot is from the
signs of the hypocrites. Right? Because, they have
to go the extra mile to convince you
they're telling the truth. So they will do
in the Quran if you read,
they will swear they will swear. Right? Even
in Surat Al Mana Fiykoon,
they Allah mentions that they are swearing.
Right?
So it's not necessarily something you should always
do.
Allah Right? Preserve and protect your yameen.
And it's called,
in Arabic, aiman or yameen. Right? Now,
the
ruling of it is that you shouldn't do
it.
If you do it, there are several things
that you can do. Number 1, is that
you swear by Allah,
you swear by Allah
something in the past happened.
So I swear by Allah that such and
such happened. Right? That brother did not attend
the event. He wasn't there.
Now
if I know he was there and I
am lying,
if I know he was there and I
am lying and I'm using Allah's name, this
is known as
Al Yameen
Al Hamus.
The word hamus means to dive in something.
Right? Rams. Meaning this person is diving into
sin.
Right? It's one of the worst things you
can do and the prophet in a hadith
said that that is from the kaba'ir, from
the major sins, to use Allah's name and
lie.
Now,
then you have when you swear that you're
going to do something in the future.
Right?
Akhi, are you going to attend my wedding?
Akhiya, are you sure? Wallahi will attend. Someone
said this or you know this can happen
sometimes. Right?
Now this person,
if his intention is to actually attend, he's
all about I'm going to attend, Allah will
attend.
Now he realizes actually I have a dentist
appointment that I can't miss. I cannot attend
or I have this or whatever reason I
cannot attend.
Then he swore by Allah is going to
attend. What does he do?
If he cannot do it,
then because he swore by Allah that he's
going to do it, he must do a
kafara.
He must do a kafara. He must expiate
that. And what does he do? He will
have to either
either,
feed 10 people,
clothe 10 people or clothe 10 people
or fast 3 days.
Right? Or free a slave,
And generally speaking a lot of the scholars
say, it is optional. Any one of those
would work. Right?
And if and that is
Or I'll give you another example.
If someone
swears that,
they are they are gonna
not do something, but it's actually a good
thing to do. Right?
For example,
someone's wife complained that they go to the
to his brother's house too many times. Yeah.
Why always going he says, you know what?
Wallahi will never go to his to my
brother's house again. Someone said this.
Now going to your brother's house visiting this,
this is recommended. Right? This is keeping the
ties of kinship.
Now, but he swore by Allah that he's
not going to do it. What happens then?
The prophet said to us in a hadith,
if one of you swears an oath that
you're going to do something or not do
something,
but that but it is better for you
to do it
then
do your kafara and and continue on. So
in other words, if someone says, wallahi will
never visit my brother again.
What is he meant to do?
He meant to do the kafara.
He will feed 10 people or clothe them
or feed a slave or fast 3 days
and after continue visiting his brother.
Right? So
we are not
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is not,
we're not binded to always uphold our oaths.
Sometimes it is recommended for you to break
your oath if breaking it is better.
Does that make sense?
But if you break it, you have to
do the kafara.
Then there is a type of oath that
has no kafara.
And that is
what this ayah is talking about.
Allah will not call you to account for
that which is an unintentional
oath.
Hayullah, I have been calling you all day.
You know, wallahi you're never home. You know,
a woman is a woman says to her
husband, Ola, you're never home. But he's home
there right there. Right? So these kind of
statements that people say that they don't really
mean. It's not really an oath but they
say it. Right?
This is ma'afoonan. This is forgiven. This you
don't have to do and this shows you
the the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Right? So that kind of covers generally speaking
that which is related to oath. And there's
a few things you have to remember when
it comes to oath. Number 1, it only
counts as an oath if you do it
with Allah's name or one of Allah's attributes.
Allah's names or one of Allah's attributes. That's
what we swear by. As believers, we do
not swear by anything but Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala. That's very important to understand. We don't
swear by the prophet. We don't swear by
anything else. Our moms, our children, none of
that.
And that's very dangerous.
Now,
prophet said,
Whoever is going to swear an oath, let
him swear by Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. There
was an incident
where there's a few incidents in the in
in our, traditions that you'll find. One was
when a Jewish man came to the prophet
and said that, oh message of Allah your
people
commit shirk as well. Why are you always
on our case?
And then the prophet asked, in how so?
He said, well when they are swearing they
say by the Kaaba.
And the prophet said, do you guys say
by the Kaaba? He said, yes. He said,
don't say this, say by the Lord of
the Kaaba. Always swear by Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala.
So you learn many lessons from there. One
is that the prophet took what the Jewish
man said
and rectified it. Meaning that when someone tells
or brings us something and that is true,
we don't care who brings us that information.
We have to uphold the truth.
Secondly, that sometimes the companies would fall into
mistakes and the prophet would correct them. They
were not infallible.
And everyone would learn and then grow. Another
incident was when some of the newly converted
companions
still had the habit of swearing by Allat
and Al Uzza. Who are Allat and Al
Uzza? Idols that were worshiped by Quraysh. So
they will say, oh, Wallat.
I swear by Allat.
And it was a, it was a,
a nothing they didn't mean it, but it
became something that they used to say quite
a lot and it was hard to get
rid of. And the prophet said if one
of you does
this afterwards
say Right? Reaffirm your tawhid because you just
mentioned something that is can be deemed as
shirk although the intention counts. What would be
an example of this? There's a story that
my friend and my sheikh and my brother,
older brother, someone you know very well, Abu
Osama al Dahabi has told me the story.
I think it was him that he told
me. Was it him that told me the
story? I'm sure it was him.
Now he was taking people to Umrah and
among them was a bereaved brother,
excited to go and see the Kaaba.
And you know, how many of you here
went to Umrah?
Now the first time, I know Ali did
because we did dua together.
MashaAllah, the first time you see the Kaaba,
it is an amazing feeling, isn't it? Right?
It is
a powerful moment.
So this man, he walked into the he
sees the cabin. The first thing he says,
Jesus Christ.
Now,
again,
did he that was his first reaction.
Right?
So you can imagine you can imagine someone
maybe newly from Christianity or
and that they,
they may utter a statement that they don't
mean. And Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is the
most forgiving and what do you do? You
say la la ilaha. Does that make sense?
Now, la la la khidukum Allahu billahuifi imaniqum.
Allah does not hold you account your unintentional
oaths.
Right?
But
Allah will call you to account
that which your hearts have earned.
In another ayah Allah mentions,
deliberate oaths. Deliberate
oaths.
So those are the ones that you have
to do the kafara, you have to there
are binding
and the only time you are allowed to
break them is if breaking them is what?
Better. If breaking them is better, barakallahuikum. The
prophet himself said in a narration, if I
make an oath and find out that breaking
it is better, I will break it.
Right? So, because sometimes you will say something
and you realize actually,
it is better to to to, to not
keep it. And then you of course have
the kafar which we mentioned where it was.
There's a lot more detail in other chapters
in the Quran about about oaths.
Then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
said,
and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
is Ghafoor
and he is haleem.
Allah is,
oft forgiven
and most forbearing.
So Allah forgives us
and subhanAllah Allah forgives us even when
we
use his name
but
are wrong.
And when we use his name
and don't fulfill, Allah forgives us and that
shows you how forgiving Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
is. But generally speaking my brothers,
preserve and protect your oath. Don't use all
the time. You don't have to. Get rid
of the habit of always saying Allah's name.
And also I must address this although I
have several times spoken about this, the danger
of swearing about other than Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala.
Why is it so bad to swear about
but then Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala? Because you
know when I'm trying to convince you that
I am telling the truth,
I will invoke that which I hold the
greatest.
Right? When I say, akhiwalahi
by Allah, by my creator, by the one
who created the heavens and the earth. When
I say this, that means that what I'm
about to say, I mean it. I am
100 believing in this truthfulness
and I am trying to prove to you
that I'm not a liar by invoking that
which I hold the most dearest and the
greatest. Right? That's the whole point of an
oath.
So in that moment where I want to
invoke that which I find the greatest, which
should be who? Allah. If I say all
my mom's life.
Somewhere in here,
there's something wrong, isn't there? That you We
all love our moms
but
Allah is the greatest.
That's the problem.
That is the problem, right?
On my children,
on my daughter People say this.
No doubt your daughter, your mother, they you
hold them dearly.
But
the reason why we swear by Allah is
because there is nothing greater than we hold
most dear in our hearts than our creator,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
and that's why it's such a heinous thing
to do.
We only swear by Allah.
Don't swear by your fathers, Swear by Allah
subhanahu
wa ta'ala.
And if you have the habit, my brothers,
my sisters, if you have the habit, if
you have the habit of swearing but other
than Allah you say my mom's life on
my mom's grave on this or that. If
you say if you say these things
then get rid of it. Get rid of
that habit.
Get rid of that habit and start using
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala's name.
Taib.
One of the things that we should mention
is that,
when you do make an oath,
we said you can use Allah's name.
Generally speaking, it's wallahi, it's billahi intallai, it's
the waw,
the ba and the ta. Those are the
letters that is used. Right?
So when when,
when prophet Ibrahim said,
I
swear by Allah so that these four letters
are
used usually when when you whenever an oath
is being made. One of the things the
prophet used to say often is
by the one whose
hands my life is in. Who's that?
It's Allah. So you can say this. Right?
By the Lord of the Kaaba. Right? This
this is all fine. This is all fine.
So now we understood what did we learn.
We learned general rulings around oaths
and that we have to keep them, but
sometimes you are allowed to break them. If
we break them, we have to do the
kafara.
The worst type of yamine
is the one where you lie where you
lie,
and you know you are lying. Right? If
you don't know something that is less of
a problem. For example, if you really really
really think that someone is home, are you
sure he's home? Yeah. I'm home. Well, lie
is home. But then it's
it's you're wrong. That is much less of
a problem because you genuinely thought that was
the case. But that's one of the reason
why we should avoid
swearing by Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala Ta'ib.
Now, the following ayah, we are entering into
a particular
type of oath. A particular type of oath.
And one of the things that you learn
or benefit from this is how detailed our
sharia is. Now Allah and the following ayah
is discussing
those who take an oath
as it relates to their wives
that they swear that they are not gonna
be intimate with them.
What is the ruling
and what should they do and would the
account and all of that? Why is this
being discussed? For several reasons. One, it was
Arab tradition
and Ibn Abbas mentioned this. This is this
concept is called
It's called
which is what is
that,
you swear
by Allah
that you will not have relations
with your wife
for a period more than 4 months,
if you do this then this is known
as ila.
What is the ruling? It is not allowed.
You're not allowed to do this. Why wasn't
it done? First of all, during the time
of the prophet before, the Arabs, they used
to do this for years.
Right? They're married, and they'll say, you know
what? I will not have relations with you
for a year, for 2 years as a
form of punishment. She's still married. You cannot
go anywhere, and they would just stop her
from being intimate. And this was a form
of,
a tactic to either, you know, punish them
or discipline them or whatever the case is.
Right? So this was the thing, open ended,
then of course, Islam is all about limiting
and protecting. Right? So
can you do this?
Is a man allowed to do this? So
can a man say to to his to
his,
partner, his wife,
I will not have relations with you for
a week? Yes.
But he should have a good reason for
that. But can you? Yes. You can. Even
if, for example,
you there's something that you need rectified or
there's something that you know what? But how
long can you do this
before
it becomes harmful
and some and and the courts have to
step in?
The period is 4 months.
Right? 4 months. So
how does this relate to swearing an oath?
Well, the man is swearing an oath. By
Allah,
me and you will not be together or
sleep together or whatever the case is and
however whatever wedding they use for this much.
If he says
for 1 month,
can he uphold this? Yes. Is he sinful?
No. What happens if he breaks it?
What does he have to
do? He has to look because he swore
to do it and then he broke it.
Right? Now, should he break it?
What do we say the rule is? If
it's better for you, then he should break
it. And what does the kafar What he
has to do? He has 4 options. What
were they?
Feed or clothe, feed
how many
people? Or clothe, how many people?
Or fast how many days?
Or free someone in bondage, which is something
that's not applicable today.
Now
Allah says in the Quran,
ayah, those who take an oath not to
have relations with their wives.
Must wait for 4 months.
And if they return change their idea in
this period.
Indeed Allah is oft forgiven and most merciful.
And if they decide upon divorce,
indeed Allah is the all hearer and the
all knower. So what's happening here?
There is a couple, the husband does ila.
He says, I will not have relations with
you.
It goes on and on and on and
on and on, and he he has a
time in mind.
And
when it gets to 4 months so he
settled in 1st January. We are now in
April around 2nd. Has that been 4 months
then? Is that 3 months?
That's 4 months. Right? Okay.
He
at that point,
he if he continues on up to this
point, he's not sinful. That's the period that
you are allowed. You're not encouraged but you're
allowed and this is very important. You are
not you are not encouraged but you are
allowed.
After this,
he must
give her her rights.
If he refuses,
she can she can she he he will
have options. Listen. If you're not gonna be
a husband to this person,
then divorce her.
Right? Divorce her. If he says no, I'm
not gonna divorce her and I'm not gonna
have relations with her. How long? Up to
me. 7 months. 1 year. I don't care.
Then the court, the qadi, the judge
will divorce her,
by court
so that she can find a husband.
Because
at that point it's harmful to her. Does
that make sense?
Now
did this happen during the time of prophet
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam? Yes. The prophet himself
did this.
The prophet himself did ilah and
he swore his wives off
for a month,
and this was because
they
asked him,
they asked him
to
provide more for him.
And the prophet was not about that life.
The prophet was not about his dunya
and he wanted his wives to also understand
that.
So
he
swore them all off. In fact, it's a
very interesting Qisr
where Sayidina Umar
Radillahu Anhu
and Umar is the father-in-law of the prophet.
So his daughter is married to the prophet.
What's her name?
Hafsa bint
Umar. So she was part of the people
that now have been cut off by the
prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
So
there was
a there was a companion
that was neighbors to Sayidina Umar.
They were neighbors
and
they had a deal.
One day you spend time with the prophet
where I do my work and my daily
duties and then in the evening you bring
me all the new information and then we
swap. Because they couldn't always commit every single
time with the prophet because they had livelihoods.
And this was an interesting situation that they
were had. They had the Umur Khattab and
another companion. So one day this companion knocks
he's knocking on his door. And then Umur
opens and the first thing he says is,
are we under attack because of the urgency?
And this is one of the evidence to
suggest that when the prophet went on the
Battle of Tabuk,
that this was a preemptive
attack the prophet did
expecting them to attack at one point. So
there there was tensions. And what it happens
is that the first thing Omar says, are
we on the attack? Meaning they were expecting
1. But then the the bathtub book happened.
That's neither here nor there. There's a point
trying to make, which is then he said
it's even worse,
What is it? The prophet divorced all of
his wives.
And why is that a shock to Umar?
Who's part of that? His daughter. So he
rushes
and he finds out it's not really a
divorce, it's what I was saying, it was
an ilah. Does that make sense?
And then have you guys heard the
narration where the prophet was sleeping and then
the what he what he was sleeping on
imprinted on his on on his body? Yes?
Who who heard that story before that before
sleeping on yes. That's this incident. So Umar
goes to him He goes to the prophet
sleeping
and then Umar weeps because he sees this.
This is the same story. Right? It's always
nice when the qisas are connected like that.
Now
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam stayed away
from them for a month.
This is what he said. He said, was
he fully within his life to do that?
Yes, he was. Because that's not 4 months,
is it?
He came back after 29 days
and then Sayedina Aisha, our mother Aisha said,
it's not a month yet. Month yet. And
then he told her
a month is either 29 or 30, which
is the evidence for the lunar calendar that
we use every Ramadan. The month's gonna be
either 30 or 29.
Right?
So there's a lot of benefits from the
story
but the prophet did ilah. So ilah within
itself is not wrong.
When does it become wrong? As you learn
from this, when it is extended to a
prolonged period which is how long?
4 months. Scholars also try to discuss what
is the
secret behind 4 months. Why 4 months? Why
not 5 months? Why not 3 months? Allah
knows best. And there is also a story
that is narrated by is mentioned by some
of the
that and they they attributed to the Muwatta
of Imam Malik. The Muwatta of Imam Malik.
Although
most narrators of Imam Malik's Muwatta have not
mentioned the story,
but some have but it could be
from the
transmissionist that has not reached us, and Allah
knows best. But this story is mentioned and
it may not be authentic but it's worth
sharing because there's a connection, which is that
Sayid Al Umar after when he was the
Khalifa,
he would
walk around
and check up on people and make sure
they're okay and walk around the city at
and and at night. And that he overheard
a woman that was singing or poetry,
and she was missing her husband.
And something along the lines of that he
was gone for too long. Right? And she
mentioned something,
that if it wasn't for my fear of
Allah and it's things like this. Right? That
she's protecting her her chastity but that she
wanted her husband. And her husband happened to
be among the men that the Umar sent,
to the frontiers.
Right? So then Umar
started asking questions, especially to the woman folk.
How long can
a a wife
wait for her husband before it becomes a
struggle for her? Right? Because of course everyone,
we have desires and needs and all that.
And he asked a few people, and one
of the people that he asked was his
own daughter, Hafsa, and she was bothered by
it. He was listen. This is
he he because he because
he wanted to legislate.
And that's why he legislated that the rotation
for the,
his army was 4 months. Right? Which is
an interesting is that it's somewhat connected to
this. What is the difference between that and
this? This is someone voluntarily
while he is there sewing off, whereas that
is someone that has traveled and there's difference
there as well. Right? So all of those
people that are working abroad or studying abroad,
you're not doing ila.
You just,
have a long distance relationship. What is an
ilah?
What is the key element component that makes
this different? It is the swearing of the
of the oath. Does that make sense everyone?
I told you that this is gonna be
more of a fiqh lesson. Ta'ib. Allah says
Those who take an oath not to have
relations with their wives
They wait for 4 months maximum. Now,
let's say someone
swore an oath that he was not going
to do it 2 weeks.
After a week, it was like halas.
He'll has to make kafara. He has to
make the kafara because you made an oath
and then you broke the oath. Right?
Whether he should keep it or not will
depend on what is better for that situation
and the prophet told us if you make
an oath,
keep it. Unless you think breaking it is
better, then break it. But do the kafarah
first.
Also, when do you do the kafara? When
you break it
or before you break it?
So let's say you have the intention to
for example, let's say someone said, you know
what, you had a let's go back to
the earlier examples, not necessarily related to the
wives.
Let's say someone said he had a bad
experience. He went to Liverpool. He had a
really bad experience. They said, no. Wallahi, I'm
never going back. Wallahi, I'm never going back
to that city. Right? Then all of a
sudden you know these are very,
things that can happen in life. Right? People
do this all the time. It's important that
you know the hakam and the rulings. Someone
said this. Then
you decide, you know what?
That's what's a bad idea. I probably should
go, or there's something happened, I need to
go. Right?
Do you do the kafara
after you have gone and broken your oath
or before
when you have decided to break it? Do
you do you guys understand the question? When
do you do it? There's some halakh according
to scholars. A lot of them are flexible.
You can do it before. You can do
it after. But from there's a clear narration
that that means that that shows that you
should do it before.
But the prophet where the prophet said if
one of you makes an oath and then
decide it is better for him to break
it,
then
then,
expiate it first,
and then after that do what you're going
to do. Right? So,
it seems that the better thing to do
is to do your kafara,
then do what you're going to do. Does
that make sense?
So in that case, if you now go
back to the example of the ila, if
someone did ila for a month
and then after 2 weeks decided that he
wants to break it, you should do your
kafala first then have the relations.
That's better way. Does that make sense?
Another important matter that we have to understand
is the power of the judge here And
that,
in Islam
the qadi
has
the qadi
has power
invested in him to separate between wives and
husbands. If the husband is stubborn and he
is
keeping her but not giving her her rights.
And this is not only to do with
and and relations,
even with finances. Let's say a because a
lot of people say, well, what are the
options that are available? And we learn some
of the of this as we go along.
If a woman is in a marriage and
she has problems,
what are the options available for her? And
the a lot of the options is that
she can raise many issues,
from an in Islam to the judge.
Right? And during the time of the prophet
they would raise it to the prophet. My
husband does not give me enough income for
the household, and then he will be told,
okay. You should you need to do this.
If he then refuses or is,
he's not giving enough, then the judge will
say, well, if you're not gonna give her
her rights, you need to let her go.
If he refuses, he says I'm gonna keep
her and not give her rights, then that
decision is taken away from him and the
court will divorce them. Does that make sense?
If, he's harming her
and this is one a type of harm,
isn't it? This is a type of harm
as well.
So that that shows you how
you have a question?
So in the west, it's very interesting. Right?
We we we do have some Islamic courts,
so you can always go to those as
relates to this.
And,
they
the if we don't we have Islamic courts
that do,
divorces and they do,
all all these things. I mean, in our
in our Masjid, we have an office that
deals with it, IJB that deal with it.
And they have people that come to them
with all sorts of problems. Because we are
not living in an Islamic country, we don't
have a centralized authority,
a lot of
our communities and. Ideally, I prefer that it's
not local imams doing it because a lot
of times, you know, it's they they go
to the imam.
But that that that we actually set up
actual,
courts
with many people on because they have to,
research and discuss. And a lot of time,
it's not as simple as someone walking in.
Yeah. My husband.
This. Okay. Khalas. We'll divorce. It's not like
this. They have to actually look into the
case, and,
it's it's an actual case that they have
to study before making a decision and it
is a heavy decision.
Heavy decision whether you're going to separate people
or not separate them or whatever the case
is. Does that make sense? But we do
have Islamic courts
that operate in many centers.
Bayib.
Let's read the ayats one more time and
we conclude here for tonight, Insha'Allah.
For the
unintentional
oaths.
What are those oaths that are unintentional? What
examples did we give? Anyone?
Nam? Someone on this side.
You know, I always blindside people with questions.
Anyone, what is an example of an unintentional
oath?
Yes. When you say wallahi and you don't
mean it when you don't mean it, tayib.
Does Allah hold the account do you do
the kafara for that? No, you don't.
But Allah holds you accountable for that which
your hearts intended or have earned. So that
is any oath that you mean
you have to do the kafara.
And indeed Allah is, ghafur. The word ghafur
teaches us that Allah is the most forgiven
and that he often forgives us. And when
you heard this, wallahuafoo,
it is right after Allah told us that
we shouldn't do something. Think about this. Don't
do
this. Allah has the most forgiving.
What is the connection there? If you do
it, repent because Allah will forgive you. That's
really important. Yes, akhii.
Oath? Yes?
No. No. You don't if it's unintentional,
there's no kafara
at all. Halim and Allah is the most
forbearing. And then
those who take an oath not to have
relations to their wives, and this is called
ilah.
They wait for 4 months. That's the maximum.
That's the maximum. Then there will be court
that will intervene
if the woman complains. If she doesn't complain,
then there's nothing there to do. Does that
make sense? That's also a key point to
remember. The court doesn't just make people, you
know, it's been 4 months and if if
she's right,
I was actually reading
earlier because I was I was looking into
this and I was reading earlier that there
was a couple
that were together,
married, and they had no relations for 27
years.
Right? And you're wondering, well, they're just roommates.
Right? But just
but,
the court would not intervene. It's up to
them. But the moment she says
my rights are is not being provided for
me, then it's like, okay. Well, this arrangement
involves an exchange of rights and responsibilities.
If you're not gonna fulfill these rights,
then you'll have to let her go so
she can find a suitable
husband. Does that make sense to everyone?
It's consecutive.
So what are the options? The options is,
okay, keep your relationships and give her her
rights. If not, then what?
Divorce her. What the last thing?
If it is held upon the force, then
Allah is the all hearer and the all
knower.
We can conclude
You have a question? Okay. Go ahead.
Yes.
Yeah.
So the question would be,
is he
is he doing the bare minimum or he's
not even doing the bare minimum at the
moment?
Is he meeting the minimum requirement for what
would you consider as sustaining a household or
is he below that, if he's struggling below
that?
Okay. If that is the case,
then,
it would be
sad,
but if that woman wants
to be supported financially, which is one of
the main reasons for the marriage, and he's
not able to do it, it would be
no different
than a man who,
for whatever reason would not be able to,
perform with her her the the her rights
or relations and any any other means, any
other rights,
then she has the right to,
appeal to the court and they will they
will, separate between them.
Of course,
most of the time,
the relationship between a couple is not legal.
It it it it involves love and mercy
and and commitment,
so
it's very rare
for a wife to be like, okay, so
you've been out of a job for how
long? 2 months. I'll give you 2 more
weeks and then I'm gonna go. It doesn't
really work that way. So but so if
that if it doesn't really work that way,
why do we have these laws? Just in
case they do come. Does that make sense?
So,
this is very important. Whenever we study these
things right now
a lot of these rulings are very technical.
And this is something that you have on
hand. When we when it comes to fiqh,
it's very legal, very technical, very, like, okay,
you got 4 months.
But in real life, it doesn't really work
that way. Right? You wouldn't,
it it it In real life it doesn't
work that way whereas
most of the time if a husband is
struggling to provide, the wife would have patience.
Most of the time. Right? Now the question
is must she have patience? Not necessarily.
Right? And are we gonna force her to
be patient?
No. We're not gonna do that. But most
of the time and,
sometimes what happens is
people rush to divorce,
and this is neither here nor there, but
I was told of this interesting,
situation where
a woman,
she
didn't want to be married to her husband
anymore because he wasn't a good husband.
He wasn't good at providing. He wasn't good
at leading the household. He didn't have his
act together at all. And she went up
to make it work, but in the end
she said, listen, I have to choose me
and this is not working. And then they
had a divorce.
And then when they had a divorce,
she ended up marrying someone else. And that
was the catalyst, the reason for this brother
to change his life around. And he started
changing and he started working really hard and
he started practicing as dean and he earned
a business. And then later she sees him
very successful.
And
but what's interesting is should she be regretful,
she's probably gonna be like, but this is
all I wanted. Why didn't you do it
and we were together?
But could you also argue
that the catalyst for his change
was the separation?
Does that make sense? So
the of Allah works in mysterious ways. Right?
And alhamdulillah.
But what I'm trying to say is that
it's not necessarily always black and white and
it's not always as, but,
among the key responsibilities
of a husband is to provide for his
wife.
Although in this economy,
it's it's getting a lot more difficult. So
we're asking our sisters to help the brothers
out.