Muslema Purmul – How To Interact With A Muslim Woman
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The speaker advises the caller to lower their gaze to avoid embarrassment and confusion, as it is a natural interaction. They also suggest that people should not be afraid of social interactions, as it is not healthy. The speaker suggests that people should be aware of their behavior and try to avoid embarrassment and confusion.
AI: Summary ©
Just because you're okay with talking to the sisters and you
have a sense of comfort dealing with them, that's that's not bad
or wrong in and of itself. If you feel comfortable looking at them
in the wrong way, then that becomes a problem, right? So you
can look at someone and it's like looking into the face of your
sister looking into the face of, you know, a cashier at a grocery
store. It's a very it's a it's a casual, normal interaction, and
that's fine. It's a comfortable interaction, and that's fine. But
then there's a different look, and that's actually in the Quran, when
it says to lower your gaze, it doesn't just say lower your gaze.
It says the word that's used is min so it's lower from your gaze.
And the scholars say that this refers to that. I mean, this
indicates that all of the gaze is not prohibited, just a specific
part, which is to look at someone in an inappropriate manner or to
look at something that is forbidden to look at in the first
place. So if the sisters you're dealing with, you're looking at
them while you're talking to them, but again, you're not doing so
with that particular, you know,
lustful look, then that should be fine, inshallah. But some of the
scholars have also mentioned that it's good to lower your gaze, not
like preemptively. So even if you're not attracted to the
sister, even if her out is covered, doesn't mean you have
tunnel vision, which is what I see a lot of people trying to do, and
what I used to do myself, actually, when my husband and I
were interacting in the MSA, when I was in college, nobody knew we
were talking to each other because of how far we stood and how we
were looking in opposite directions, it was the most
awkward thing on earth. That is not what Islam is like. So
literally, in passing period, people would walk through us
because they didn't know that we were having a conversation. That's
how distant we were and how awkward we were, not even facing
each other to deal with MSA things. So that's not necessarily
like the paradigm we're trying that's not healthy, right? And you
can only imagine how problematic that is for someone that you're
trying to introduce Islam to in terms of the greater community and
society that you're in. So this is my advice, is it's, you know, it's
okay to be comfortable, but it's not. It's to guard yourself from
getting too comfortable, not just in like, to the extent that you
would start to look at them in the wrong way, but also in speech.
That's actually, I think, where more people would mess up
initially, is you get comfortable. So then you start talking about,
like, all sorts of different things, and you start people get
into their personal lives and like, matters that really have
nothing to do with MSA. And so just, you know, the having a
formal friendship, the way that you would maybe deal with people
at a company, right? If you go to work, it's considered like tab or
it's considered like not good work ethic or work manners to talk
about your personal life, for example, at work. So
just keeping some of these things in mind, where you don't get so
comfortable, where your speech can take you to places that they
shouldn't take you. And it's a slippery slope. So when you start
to see, you know, certain areas open up too easily, then that's
that's kind of where you pull yourself back. A nice indication
that one of the scholars mentioned about our overall place with Allah
subhanaw taala, because this is where Hayat comes from, is when we
are making mistakes in the way we deal with the creation of Allah
and in the way that we're dealing with Allah Himself, we actually
start to see prayer and worship as being more difficult. But when
we're dealing with the creation of Allah, subhana wa taala, really
from a paradigm of loving Allah and being considerate for His
creation, then we yearn to worship. We love to pray. We love
to go to prayer. So a good sort of overall measurement of like is the
way I'm dealing with people, okay, is, well, do I want to love? Do I
want to worship my Lord? Do I love the idea that it's time to pray,
or is it something I'm turning away from, or I feel like it's
heavy right now, if it's heavy, then maybe there's something in
our behavior that lacks Viktor of Allah, subhana wa taala.