Musleh Khan – Life #07 I love my parents…but

			I love my parents. But
		

			still Mr alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. Yes, that phrase you just heard I love my parents, but
I'm struggling to maintain a decent relationship. Or we're always arguing or we always have
problems. Some students will say, I understand I'm supposed to love my parents, and I'm supposed to
respect them. But you don't know what it's like living in my house. You don't know what it's like at
the dinner table. And all of that may be true. But how does Islam teach us to deal with this
situation? You're at home? You know that these are your parents, you know what Islam says you should
do. But you just can't see eye to eye. There's arguments every day. There's disagreements all the
		

			time. How does Islam help us navigate those circumstances? The answer is actually in one word. It's
called Matt roof. In the Quran, we know that Allah subhanaw taala tells us that we should respect
our parents be royally down, we should be civilized, we should honor them. We hear these lectures
and hold beers all the time. Rarely do we hear about the homes out there, where there's that massive
conflict. The parents and their children never see eye to eye never really understand each other,
and I completely get it. There are parents out there who have children, but are not parents. Does
that make sense? There are parents out there that have families but don't know how to be parents to
		

			their children. One word can help you navigate all of this. It's called my roof. Allah tells us in
the Quran, Warsaw, Hebrew Houma, fifth dunya, natural roofer that you should at least be a companion
to them in the worldly sense, based upon merit of so what is this term, metal roof is literally a
universal standard. So it's standard across the world, that at the end of the day, even if you
disagree, you disagree respectfully, in a civilized way. Parents are not perfect. And the parents
who are listening to this understand we're not perfect, we're not going to have all the answers,
there are going to be moments where it's tense, there's going to be problems between us and our
		

			children. The Children's responsibility here is the bare minimum, respond and disagree, if you must,
in a civilized and dignified way. So try to avoid the arguments, try to avoid putting each other
down. And one message for the parents out there. Remember, one of the names of children in the Quran
is a manner like this is a trust Allah gave you you're supposed to take care of provide a nurture
this trust. So part of that process is, you know, sometimes when you feel like you want to lose it.
Sometimes when you feel like you want to scream, shout, argue, you try your best, just as much as
your children to keep yourself together. Your first responsibility is conduct yourself in a way that
		

			Allah is pleased with. When you do that, immediately, Allah causes the family, the children and the
rest of creation to be pleased with you. So you'll never lose this way. And this works on both
sides. For the kids out there who have these tense moments at home, we all do to some extent. When
that happens, try your very best to keep yourself under control. If it means that you've got to go
up to your room, calm down a little bit, come back and talk about things, try to talk about things,
work them out. And I have to say brothers and sisters, for the kids out there, it's okay to disagree
with your parents. It's okay to say Mom, Dad, I don't want to do it that way. As long as it stays
		

			within the parameters of our deen. That's the key. And that's why Allah subhanaw taala put so much
emphasis on being respectful to the parents. Because at the end of the day, if there's still a
conflict, the first duty to resolve that conflict must and should come from the children. And it
should be obvious why. I mean, at the end of the day, these are your parents. You'll never have
another set of parents. Just one. One father is one mother. So Allah tells us when He speaks to us
about beautiful Wally Dang. take it upon yourself as the child
		

			But you know, at the end of the day, I may be uncomfortable. But I know if I give in or do as I'm
asked or respond accordingly, whatever the scenario is, if I take it upon myself, for the sake and
for the purpose of defusing the situation, and continuing to build that relationship with my
parents, if I take that burden on my shoulders first, I know that that is the thing that puts me in
a better place with Allah subhanho wa taala. I'm going to do it for Allah first and foremost. That's
the attitude that Allah wants us to think about, to steer ourselves on that path. Put yourself in a
place of humility. Put yourself in a place of respect and honor. And the respect and honor here is,
		

			you try your very, very best to put your parents first please them first. If you do that, everything
in your life becomes blessing. Nobody has ever, ever lived the life where they strive to do the
right thing to please their parents, except Allah has always blessed him with a good life, always
best than with contentment. That's actually his promise. That's one of the reasons are one of the
wisdom behind the wording build rule were leading. So I pray that Allah subhanaw taala make it easy
for you. And I pray that Allah subhanaw taala for anybody out there that has that conflict and it
happens on a consistent basis between you and your parents. I pray that Allah subhanaw taala make it
		

			easy for you and give you what is best in shot low trial alone.