Musleh Khan – Life with Children #08 Son, don’t be prideful

			Mr. Martin to lay Obamacare to everyone Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was
Salam ala rasulillah salam la hora de who are left he was heavy he woman were buried. So let's get
right to it. We This is part two eight of life with children and today we're talking about pride.
Pride is a massive subject in the Quran. We are at verse number. Let me see here we're at verse
number 18. Guys, okay, so those of you following along with verse number 18, Allah subhanho wa Taala
says and sort of look man went out or saw a decade in us all the time she fell out of the model Hi,
in law Hello, your hibou kuuluu cool Mo. Lin for Okay, what else to sorry, here's the next piece of
		

			advice from look man it his sell him to his son. He says what Apple saw ever saw, literally means it
refers to when you try to grab an animal. So the arrows would say that they would try to grab a
camel or a sheep by its neck and force it to come along. And the camel, or the sheep would just
simply turn their head away. It's like, what do you think you are you think you can just grab me and
pull me where I want to be I'm not going anywhere. That's what sought out is. And so Look, man is
telling his son don't project the sense of pride even in your posture. So if if you're just too
proud to be amongst certain people or certain community amongst a certain individual, and even
		

			without saying a word, you turn the other cheek, or you look down and frown upon others, or you
carry the sense of superiority above others. That's what saradha is. So it'll command it. He said,
I'm a same to his son. Don't ever act as though you're superior and above others. What's interesting
is remember the previous verse, the previous verse was always always all about celeb. It was about
inspiring. Good. It was about repelling evil. And then I'll look continued be patient with what is
what what will happen to you, then that is of the greatest blessings and tests from Allah subhanho
wa Taala. And the point is, is that this next verse, Allah Subhana, WA, Thailand now tells us that
		

			an extension of that advice Okay, so yesterday, so Part Seven of this was literally summarized all
of his, all of the advice that He gave His Son, but now this a it continues, and it's extension
that, okay, you've got solid down brain, you're able to encourage people to do the right thing.
You're able to recognize evil and repel that or speak up against it. You're patient with things that
happen in your life. Well, just because you have all of these wonderful qualities, you're praying,
you're doing all of these amazing things. Don't ever for a moment think that you're better than
anybody don't turn the other cheek and act as though you're more superior than others. You know,
		

			here's one thing about Corbin. Every time a love praises qualities in an individual, and tells you
to have a have B and have C so for example, in Sunita abakada verse number 177, it's got all of
these qualities of a good person in Islam, at the end of the day, or at the end of that verse, alone
will always put us in our place. Either it will happen at the end of the verse, or it will happen
somewhere in that surah it could be a couple of verses later, you'll get the complete opposite
meaning. So you'll have all of these great pieces of advice, but just be careful. You pray you fast
you do all of these wonderful things. You're you're encouraging people to do the right thing your
		

			patient amazing qualities. With Don't you dare think you're better than anybody else. This is a
lesson for everyone. Now put this into perspective in our series life with kids life with young
adults for parents, if your kids achieve something incredible. So whether they memorize support and
they graduated, they got an education they got their PhD doesn't matter. You know, they've really
elevated themselves. It's one thing to be proud of your kids. And it's a whole nother story to think
that your family and your children is better than everyone else. You got some money you got some
status, the business is going great l the kids got their own thing. They're doing their own thing.
		

			Stop flaunting blessings, flaunting blessings is very different than just showcasing what Allah
blessed you with with the intention of encouraging others. You see there's a total difference with
terms of the intention and the attitude behind it. And this is one thing that was also alluded to in
sort of use if and when Allah subhanho wa Taala Yaqoob barley Sallam tells his son
		

			When they're about to enter the palace, let the whole woman back in why he didn't want to Holloman
of webbing with the federal court. So he tells his sons when you guys get into this palace, I don't
want you to walk into just one door altogether. But there are several doors to this palace and I
want you guys to split up, blend in and walk in separate doors. Why did he do that? Some of the
scholars have tipsy or said that because I mean you're talking about Yusuf Ali he said I'm siblings
use of possess the beauty of half of mankind. So what do you think his brothers them had? His
brothers them were also pretty beautiful, handsome men cement. And so he his fear was that if they
		

			all walked in together, people would think like was this like a celebrity crew that's walking into
the palace board these people, man, they are handsome man, they are beautiful, they look so well
off. So in order to avoid all of that, it lets them split up and blend in with the rest of the
crowd. And so when Allah is saying what to say. Don't flaunt this stuff. Don't think that even if
you don't say a word that pride is not there, pride can still be there. And it's evil Allah azza wa
jal in other parts of the Quran says in Allah Allah, you're a mystic beauty and he doesn't love or
doesn't care about anybody who has even the slightest sense of pride attached to their personality
		

			or their character. next decade in this decade is your cheek. So now put it together. Allah is
saying don't turn the other cheek away from people out of what out of pride. You know, it's one
thing to turn the other cheek it was somebody who's you know, somebody's cursing at you arguing with
you. They're trying to avoid an intense situation that's that's separate. That's not what this a is
about. A simply the father saying to his son, listen, you know, don't walk around and act like
you're better than people. And even if you're called upon, be humble and respond, don't turn the
other cheek. Don't ignore for the sake of just ignoring you should always have a reason to do that
		

			sort of things. Why? Because that's profound language. Even if there's nothing verbalized it's
profound language. That's why we say actions speak louder than words. Like these are all actions
here right now. There's nothing about what to say or what you what to verbalize, right, then a lot.
So it just continues and he says, Well, at times you feel out of the motorhome. So now we got over
mannerism got over with the attitude in terms of just like practically in the home with kids in
particular. So at least from parents, not to Flunk your children to others to flaunt their blessings
front Look how handsome they look like a beautiful look. It's more like you know Mashallah, I'm just
		

			so I'm just so proud of him, Masha Allah, he's a beautiful child, Masha Allah, and then you know
that it's the language is the choice of words. So even if you want to praise or you want to just say
my son looks handsome, but you're like, Oh my god, I'm gonna say that out of pride. No, just say
Mashallah Alhamdulillah Allah is a more solid, he's the one that fashions your child that way. And
then the opposite is also true as well just for you know, it's a sight point. But even if, you know
when you have a child and you look at his toes, you're like, Oh my god, how come his toes look like
that? We don't get to say things like that Allah isn't a Muslim, but he fashioned the child this
		

			way. So just be grateful you have that child and always thank Allah subhana wa tada for it. And
thank for all thank him for what your child is, how they are, how they look how they behaved, and
the things that they achieved that align so God continues. And he says, what a Tim, she fell out of
the hot model hat. Now it's about action. So we finished with the attitude now it's about action. So
even with kids as well, don't ever for a moment thing that just because you have certain things that
you were blessed with you were able to go to school, you're able to get an education and then a
degree, but your dad grew up milking cows, your mom never went to school. So they're very
		

			uneducated. They can't, I guess reach to your caliber in terms of academic achievements. This a puts
you in your place. Don't you dare for a moment think that you're better than your parents. Because
we've already done the parent talk. Remember the parent talk came at verse number 14, we're on verse
number 18. So four verses ago our Allah already dealt with that which means what the the parent
issue was a priority to a lesser be dealt with that issue first. These things are now secondary. So
we should already have that attitude that we respect our parents and love them. And we never feel
that we're superior to them in any way shape, or form. So alleges reminds us just to keep us in
		

			check. So he says with attempts she fell out of the model had don't walk on this earth as though
Manocha is also a reflection of pride. So now we're looking at the action Monica is referring to the
kind of pride that has everything to do with the way you walk, the way you stand. You puff your
chest though, you walk with a swag. So Allah is saying, when that attitude is done, now the action
as well. So if you don't have an attitude problem, look, look Look how you walk.
		

			Look how you act. Look how you behave in front of people. Look how you dress, you dress as though
you think that all the clothes was hand stitched just for you and design just for you, like, get
that get those actions out of you go back to the profit early, so to know many people try to
assassinate him. And they couldn't find him. Like they will come to Mecca, they would come from
Yemen and other places. And they would look and ask around in the marketplace, where's Mohammed?
Where's this man who claims to be a prophet? And sometimes the prophets I send them would be right
in front of their face would be right in the marketplace. And they wouldn't know That's him. That's
		

			the man that they set out to assassinate. Why? Because that was the humility of the Prophet. It
sounds awesome. That's how humble he was. He wasn't sitting in like this gold tent, with archers and
camels all parked in the front. He wasn't doing that. When you walked into his tent, the man didn't
even have a place to sleep. So love argues that he slept on the ground on leaves. And so all of this
is a reflection of keeping us in place. The worst tragedy in character is kebab is pride. That's the
worst thing that can happen to somebody character. So it was very firm, very strict, very direct in
the poor and about this. Then it continues. In Allah Allah you hymnbook quick demo turn in Lahore.
		

			Allah does not love. Here's another extension of pride, Martin and for someone that is also an
extension of what you say the choice of words that you say, and freehold is the same thing as well.
So if you put this together, Allah is saying putting it all together. I don't love people that act
like they're prideful or say or speak like they're prideful, that they're full of themselves. I
don't like any of this. Now, here's the thing, put aside all that because I think bye for now we got
the message about pride. Allah says in the Lucha now your hip. This is really serious. Allah says in
those of you who study Arabic, it's what we say in Arabic how to fully tell key to one else. So in
		

			other words, it's it's it's a pronoun, that brings emphasis, and the emphasis is undeniable. Like
you can tweak it, you can change it. So whatever comes after in that it's 100%. So Allah is saying,
number one, indeed, verily, by no means there's nothing you can say. In the law, now he adds his
name. So indeed, he doesn't say in many cases in the law, when a law attaches his name to a
sentence, it says that's the peak of how serious the message is going to be in the law. Number
three, law law in this area is called level now hear, in other words, there is no possibility for a
law to love or accept somebody who has pride in their actions or in their attitude.
		

			That's unreal. That's just unbelievable. There is no chance. So how now look at it from a practical
sense, how what you and I today? How is our reaction to people who have pride? Do we say oh, my
gosh, Mashallah, you know, look at how these walk, look at the slag in them. You know, they are
better than everyone. We don't do that. As a matter of fact, anybody who's a show off or has pride,
I mean, show off is kind of like a sister to pride. Right? Anybody who has those kinds of qualities,
they're looked down upon, they're frowned upon. And even to some extent, they're even like, they're
isolated. Nobody wants to be their friend. Nobody wants to talk to them. Nobody associates
		

			themselves with them, all because of this quality. So when we as society also recognize that this is
something that's unpleasant, no one likes it. Then what about the poor and itself when Allah clearly
says in the Lucha Libre your hip? I don't love for not even a split second, and there's no
possibility, there's no way that I would accept someone like that. So this is a burning question
that all of us, as a family have to ensure that from time to time we ask, and from time to time, we
monitor our behavior and our attitude. And there are lots of Muslims that do this. Unfortunately, we
see them all the time. You know, we see them and at the massages, we think we see them that they're
		

			allergic to advice, but they're addicted to giving advice. You know, they're allergic to guidance,
because they have convinced themselves that they're already on it. So they don't need anything from
anyone else. This is all a reflection of that kind of pride. And so man I sent him. Here's what
here's a couple of the lessons now. He's telling his son this and his son is fairly young, because
he calls that the ebony ebenen. It's a young child. So the point is, is that he started this
conversation very early. Alright, and scholars differ sometimes some scholars
		

			said that this is a conversation should happen at as early as possible. There's no age limit, but
many of them said it's after maturity or puberty. So when they're really able to understand the
implications of this particular concept, then you can have serious conversations about them and let
them know that this is something that Allah hates. This is something that even we dislike, this is
something that people in society dislike. So we don't want that quality in you or anyone else. Now,
here's the last thing I'll say, inshallah. I know we said it, we'll try to take both verses. But
this morning when I was looking at the other verse, verse number 19, there's so much to talk about
		

			it. I don't want to make this video too long. So tomorrow in shot lovely Thailand, we will conclude
with the last piece of advice, okay.
		

			But with that being said, here's the last thing. Why is pride such a big issue to Allah? The answer
to that is, it's really about your relationship with Him, to find a lawyer and to connect with him
and to love Him and to, and to continue to worship Him and to continue to recognize what we are to
him with that we are slaves. You know, with human beings, calling each other a slave is an insult.
But when Allah calls us his slave, that's a great honor. And so to be able to preserve that
relationship with our Creator, constantly requires us to refine and protect ourselves from Kibera
and pride in every way, shape, or form. And the second lesson is, the fact that Look, man early
		

			Salaam is doing this at a young age with his son shows that even young kids could could could
possess pride, they could also get pride at a very early age, you know, they could have a toy better
than the other kid and be like, haha, I'm better than you. Like all of those things are seeds that
plant into pride. And so Allah is saying that for parenting terms of parenting, that this is
something that you have to tackle very early. And even if you haven't, it's better late than never
tackle these issues and recognize them and work through them. This is something that and here's the
last point that I mentioned, pride is not an easy thing to extinguish when somebody has it because
		

			it requires them to look beyond themselves. And that's not an easy thing to do for a lot of people.
And it's it's not easy in the sense that we know, we don't have sympathy for that, because I mean,
so Pamela, it's a very bad quality that you've allowed yourself to become addicted to, and convince
yourself that this is the way things should be. But it's more or less like that state to be in that
state. And to understand what culture and society deems and looks at somebody with those qualities
is should be enough of a reason for us to say I don't want to be targeted like that. I don't want to
be looked at like that. And here's one thing, parents listen to this very carefully. This is one of
		

			the most famous sentences that kids love to use. Now you guys ready? Listen to it. Be careful when
you're kids when you're trying to have this conversation with them. Be careful when kids say to you,
well, I don't care what people think. That is an Islamic attitude. You must care what people think,
especially when you give them reasons to think what they think of you. So it is an Islamic, it is
not the qualities of a believer to say I don't care what others see me or what others think of me.
We are believers, and we project a personality that we are judged by. That's what being a Muslim is.
It's the qualities that people see on the outside. And so if if you want people to judge you as a
		

			good person, as a person that's humble then guess what you have to do. You have to act like a good
person and a person that's humble. And so all of these things are found in this beautiful piece of
advice. And I pray that Allah subhanho wa Taala continue to teach us the knowledge of this beautiful
advice from a documentary listen to his son. And I pray that the last panel with Allah refine our
character, to the extent that it is always pleasing to Him. I pray that Allah subhana wa uttara
remove any ounce of pride in our hearts in our character and in our lives. From a yarmulke Mikado
outlet in Haryana euro woman yarraman with Paula shuttling Yato that whoever does something good
		

			even an activist wait to have it, they will see it but whoever does the complete opposite sees an
atom's weight of shuttling something that's despicable or unpleasant, they will see it so we ask
Allah subhana wa tada that even an atom's weight of kibble or that it's removed from our hearts in
our lives in sha Allah, Allah I mean, so with that being said, Guys, tomorrow is the last I guess
you can say installment with respect to the advice of Lockman it sent him to his son and then we're
going to move on to some other qualities and some hobbies and so on insha Allah tala on how to live
and cope with life, life with children life with young adults. So this is our way of just trying to
		

			offer some guidance, some advice, just to make life a little bit easier to have some of those hard
conversations of what it takes.
		

			raise kids wherever you are in shuttle laterna so May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless all of you. Once
again, please watch this as a family and male allies so you'll protect your family wherever you are
a local mommy. So take care guys and I'm on equal markets with Lakota capital.