Musleh Khan – My Engagement Is Messed Up – 01

			Salam Alaikum, warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters, Today let's talk about my engagement
is messed up. So what we want to do in sha Allah hotel is we want to pay attention to some of the
signs that an engagement is not going very well. And this is really important to know. Because what
often happens is that both sides within that engagement get caught up in their feelings, they get
caught up in distractions, the wedding, all the different plans, and actually lose sight of what's
really important. And that is your relationship with that individual. Some of the things that might
indicate to you that this person may not be the most suitable individual for you. So we want to talk
		

			about what some of those signs are in sha Allah huhtala. So here's number one, the value that you
put in a relationship is going to determine the value of the outcome of that relationship. So in
other words, if one side or both sides are really lazy, they're very lackadaisical about their plans
and their future, what they want to do what they want to accomplish, they just seem like they don't
have that much interest in the relationship itself. You are one side or both sides, either one
person is depending on the other to make all the phone calls to write all the emails, one side
always has to initiate a conversation, whenever there's a problem, it always seems like the same
		

			person has to resolve those issues. Now, keep in mind that when you are speaking within an
engagement, there are obviously rules that you have to follow. So there's a certain level of
conversation that you're permitted to have, which of course, should not have any desire or any
fitness. So once all of these things are eliminated, you need to pay attention to the level of
interest the other person has within that relationship. And this is all coming back from one very
important Hadith, that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam once told us as a general rule, when
we're dealing with one another, he says that you may know how to comb your hair, Bali, he may have
		

			bulleen, FC, none of you have really completed your faith, meaning you haven't reached the
perfection of Amen, unless you love for your brother, what you love for yourself. So if you love for
the other person that you want them to feel wanted accepted, give them the attention the rights that
they deserve, then that's the same way that you want to also be treated. So you have to give that to
others, you have to treat people the way you want to be treated. And don't expect that somehow when
the marriage happens, all of this is just going to unfold and things are just going to be better.
This is a really naive approach when it comes to an engagement. And it's really important that you
		

			keep this in mind, because what this is going to do is that this is going to build a responsibility
and maturity in that relationship. So when the marriage does actually happen, there's there isn't a
lot of work that has to be done. You both know exactly what you want, you both have the
responsibility factor in place, and you are both ready to take care of each other. No one is going
to be dependent on one person to do all the work like how they were dependent on it during the
engagement time. So that's really important. It sets the whole psychology or the mentality for both
parties. So when they get married in short, a long time they can treat each other as equally as
		

			possible. So that's the first sign is to look out of the value or the effort one person is giving to
that relationship, because based on that effort, there's a good possibility it's going to reflect
the effort that they're going to put in the actual marriage itself. So May Allah subhanho wa Taala
Bless you all who said mid to late Baraka to