Musleh Khan – Ask Musleh – What do I do if my parents don’t approve of a prospective spouse because of culture?

			Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and welcome to Ask Muslim. This is
your brother Mr. Khan? Today's question is really important. A sister is asking that she found a
good brother and she wants to get married to him. The only problem is, is that her parents don't
approve of this brother, because he's from a different tribe or a different caste. So she's asking
for some advice on how to approach this issue. First thing is that I want to give a generic answer
and that is where is the status of tribalism, and our cultures and our lineages and backgrounds.
Where do all of these stand when it comes to our religion and our relationship with Allah azza wa
		

			jal, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam clearly, when he came, he eradicated this entire
concept of our tribes, one of one tribe being more superior to the others, because this was a
problem that was happening during pre Islamic times. And unfortunately, it's still carrying on in
some of the tribes in the world today. So that's the first thing, wherever you come from, has
nothing to do with in terms of defining your character, as a Muslim and a servant of Allah azza wa
jal, and we see this in many stories of the prophets and the messengers or the humans set out. For
example, the prophet knew highly, he said, he couldn't even save his own son from the punishment of
		

			Allah azza wa jal, and this is his son. In addition to that, he tried to ask Allah azza wa jal to
help him his son, and at least have mercy on him and Eliza, which completely responds back to him
and says, that he's not even from your family, because his actions were not righteous. So actions is
the key and even insulted her gerat Allah azza wa jal tells us like yes, her comb and comb, that
nobody should ever believe that their tribe and their culture is more superior to someone else, in
terms of trying to make yourself better than everybody else, trying to make your tribe and who you
are, where you come from, more greater than all the people around you. This is clearly an attitude
		

			that does not belong to the video. So that's the first thing that we want to make sure that we lay
down as our foundation in understanding this question. However, the second point that I want to make
is specific to the questioner, how do you deal with this issue? Number one, is you need to speak to
your parents and be honest with them, and you need to educate your parents. Remember that education
when it comes to our Deen does not have any relationship barrier or any age limit, you're perfectly
within your rights as a child to advise your parents when something is wrong. So you try to do that
try to deal with this as a family issue. So try to get some of your brothers involved or your any of
		

			your siblings involved, try to get some of your close uncles or aunts or somebody that you have
access to. And keep this as a family issue, to a politely with a courteous manner addressed this
issue with your father or the parents. If that doesn't work, then you go to the second stage. And
that is that you try to get somebody that your parents will respect somebody, you know, a figure
within the local community, any mom or scholar or student of knowledge, somebody that you know, your
parents respect this individual, and have them advise your parents in sha Allah, that this is
something that they should try to look over. And even the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells
		

			us that even though you should consider what what family they come from lineage, and the colors and
things like that really are irrelevant. The Hadeeth is referring to the character and the behavior
and the reputation of that family, and not necessarily their color, or their habits and their
background, etc. So that's extremely important to understand. And my final piece of advice brothers
and sisters, for all of us who might be dealing with the same situation is be courteous, be kind, if
your parents are the ones that are the ones that are stopping you from doing this, then remember, at
the end of the day, they just want good for you as their child, you one day you're gonna become a
		

			parent and you might be even more strict with your own children. So just tried to look at it from
their light from their perspective, be positive about it, respond to it and address it in a
courteous, respectful manner. And insha Allah so Allah subhanho wa Taala to make it easy for you as
best as you can, and May Allah azza wa jal do this for all of us. Thanks guys for joining me today
was Mr. alikum warahmatu Allahi wa barakato
		

			salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and my eye is twitching
		

			a few my eyes going like this
		

			It feels like the camera is an eyeball with the pupil right in the center. It's really looks like an
eye looking at me.
		

			It's so funny. I just noticed that it's the first time I can actually see okay, we get to let's go.
Let's get to this.
		

			After understand is that tribalism and culturalism and all of these different concepts have nothing
to do with
		

			us being stuff
		

			stop