Musleh Khan – Ask Musleh – I have a horrible past; Why do you care?

			Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu brothers and sisters Welcome back to as Muslim. Today
inshallah we're going to be talking about I have a horrible past. Why do you care? In other words,
this question, what it's talking about is two people who wish to get married both have a horrible
past they've done things, they've committed a lot of sins. So are they supposed to tell each other
about those sins? Or let's just say after they get married, one of the spouses finds out that the
other has done some things in their past and they didn't come out with it. And so it causes a huge
problem in the marriage, can he divorce her and let her go and all these different things. So the
		

			first guideline here in sha Allah is number one, brothers and sisters, always know that your path is
between you and Allah subhanho wa Taala, no one else has to know about this. That is your if you'd
like your business between you and Allah azza wa jal, Allah knows that you've made mistakes, and
Allah knows why you've made those mistakes, whether it was intentional or unintentional. That's no
one's concerned, except you and Allah has so much else. That's the first thing that you want to
know. However, number two, is when it comes time for specifically getting married, you have some
things to think about. And I always tell people, and in sha Allah, I hope that this would work for
		

			all of you as well. If there's something in your past, that's going to affect your relationship with
your spouse, then you might want to think about at least informing them or at least letting them
know that say, hey, look, here's my circumstance right now, or look, I've done something and I'm
still trying to recover from it. Or the reason why you know, I'm going through a sickness or going
through a particular problem is because of something that I've done in the past, you just got to use
just some common sense, if you'd like to think about something that you know, your spouse is going
to be uncomfortable with. Or if he or she finds out at a later time in the marriage, they're not
		

			going to get upset or want to retaliate against you and say, Well, you know, what, you should have
told me in the beginning, and so therefore, because you haven't, I can't trust you anymore. I want
to divorce you now. And I want to let you go, don't put yourself through that. So if you know that
there's something there that's going to affect the way you guys live with with each other, your
trust and communication with each other, then you might want to think about to say, hey, look, I
just want you to know, here's my situation, or here's my circumstance, the third guideline, you
don't have to give details, you don't have to spell out every sin that you've done that you know, is
		

			going to affect the relationship and say, Look, when I was like, 17, I did this, this, this this
when I was 18. I moved on to so and so you don't have to spell things out, leave those details
between yourself and a lot. So all you have to say to the person is that you know, look, I've done a
couple things wrong in my life. This is how it affected me. I just want to know if this is going to
be good. I want to let it out on the table right then and there. Do that in sha Allah these three
criterias is three guidelines. And in sha Allah, you will see some clarity and happiness in your
relationships and inshallah, in your marriages. The final advice that I want to leave all of you
		

			with Islam. If the person if it's not related to the relationship in any way, keep it to yourself,
don't talk about it. This is the primary rule and principle, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
leaves us with whenever we send something between you and Allah, as long as it doesn't affect or
involve anyone else, then keep it to yourself insha Allah will tear on it. So I hope that helps
brothers and sisters, may Allah subhana wa tada bada Kang your family and in your relationships was
set them on a cold water from A to LA he will not occur to you