Muiz Bukhary – Family – An Anchor in Rough Waters

Muiz Bukhary

A talk delivered by Sheikh Muiz Bukhary on Monday the 05th of October, 2015 at Masjidun Noor (SLMCC), Harrow, London, United Kingdom.

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The importance of kinship, family ties, and parenting in the context of Islam is emphasized. The speakers emphasize the need to have high hopes and not feel satisfied with success. The importance of kinship is emphasized, and parents and children are urged to avoid petty behavior and avoid close family ties. The speakers also emphasize the need to act quickly to avoid losing their chances of being accepted, and the importance of uniting with family members and sharing moments. The speakers stress the importance of understanding the value of deeds and taking initiative in giving gifts to others.

AI: Summary ©

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			Mr alikum warahmatu Allahi wa barakato
		
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			Bismillah Ar Rahman AR Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa sallam Allah Shafi Lamia
even mousseline of Aegina Wahhabi Bina kurata Union Mohammed Abdullah la vida de he was happy he of
course allottee bottom of the sleep my back
		
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			for the color la hota Baraka Vata Allah for anila disease bad to be let him in a shirt Anya rajim
Bismillah Ar Rahman AR Rahim. See? Ya Yeah.
		
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			We begin by praising Allah subhanho wa Taala, who is no doubt our Creator, sustain and nourish,
protect and cure. We asked him gela wise to shower his choices to blessings and salutations upon our
beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his family members, his companions and all
those who tread upon his path with utmost sincerity until the day of them.
		
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			So inshallah Allah today, or rather, this evening, we'll be talking about
		
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			family and anchor during rough waters. So in shallow data, we'll talk about family ties, the
importance of maintaining family ties, maintaining kinship in the night and
		
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			So, to start off,
		
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			there is an addition that I would like to share with you all.
		
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			And this particular integration has been recorded in the book of Imam Bukhari and Mr. Muslim Rahim
Allah. When Allah subhanho wa Taala created the creation when Allah azza wa jal created when he
created the creation, Hadith in Bukhari and Muslim when he created the creation, the narration goes
along the lines of these words.
		
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			Rahim stood up I'll translate. It's not some Mr. Rahim. I'm talking about Rahim in the sense family
ties. kinship, stood up and said to Allah subhanho wa Taala. A lot. This is the standing up of
someone who fears of being cut off, family ties, stood up and spoke to Allah subhanho wa Taala and
said, this is the standing up of someone who fears being cut off. Then Allah azza wa jal addressed
Family Ties addressed kinship and said, Would it please you, would it please you, if I were to
decree that if someone were to look after you, if someone were to maintain you, I would look after
that individual. And if someone were to cut you off, if someone were to sever you, I would cut my
		
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			relationship with that individual, Allahu Akbar, Hadith the words of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam. Remember my dear brothers in Islam also realize that a long while he only was lm Mamma
mia cuando el Hawa in who Allah wa you have, he does not speak out of his own desires, but he speaks
his divine revelation from Allah subhana wa Adana. So he said along while you listen to me saying
let me repeat the Hadith for us to try and understand the meaning and this is from the Sunnah of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he should repeat something so that it could digest into the
minds of people. When Allah azza wa jal created the creation, when Allah subhanho wa Taala created
		
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			the creation, family dies, kinship stood up and said, Yeah, Allah, this is the standing up of one
who fears being cut off. Allah azza wa jal, they looked at the family ties looked at kinship and
said, Would it please you, if I were to decree that if someone were to look after you, if someone
were to maintain you, I would look after that individual, I would maintain a relationship with that
individual. And if someone were to cut you off, if someone were to sever ties with you, I would cut
my relationship with you with with that individual, I would sever my relationship with that
individual. And Family Ties replied in the affirmative kinship replied in the affirmative. So from
		
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			this Howdy, we understand that it is of utmost importance that we maintain our family ties, and
hamdullah. It's just a couple of weeks, I think after eat. And generally, whenever it comes about,
what do we do? Oh, by the way,
		
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			I'm not the only one going to do is going to be doing the talking and shout out. So I expect some of
you as well to get involved a little bit. Yeah. So what do we do when it comes about we obviously go
around, visiting our friends and family, right?
		
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			We go around visiting our family. But sadly, a trend that we observe is that we tend to only visit
our family, we tend to only maintain our kinship when it comes about when I either fitter or even
other ha but otherwise we tend to you know remain remain
		
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			oblivious of them, we tend to forget them, we tend to completely lose touch with them. Only when our
aid comes about we go, we visit and we do all of that. So inshallah, let's try to discuss the merits
of uniting the ties of kinship, firstly, and then we'll also see the warnings that have been given
to us by the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam, in terms of severing ties of kinship, and let's look
at a few ways and how we can bring about family ties and bring about unity amongst our family as
well. Number one, listen to me attentively number one in terms of the merits of uniting ties of
kinship, number one, you gain the relationship of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Just as how we mentioned
		
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			in this particular Hadith, you gain the relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala This is something
that you and I we are all striving for a relationship with Allah azza wa jal law
		
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			because he subhanho wa Taala
		
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			is the fountainhead of love. He is the creator of love. When you talk about love, you have many
shades of love, many shades of love, I'm not talking about 50 Shades of Grey, talking about the
shades of love. We have many shades of love. And from those shades of love, you have the pinnacle,
and that is to love Allah subhanho wa Taala the peak in love is to love Allah azza wa jal, the
fountainhead of love, the creator of love, we are supposed to love Allah subhanho wa Taala every
other love story that you have, you're most probably going to end up with heart ache, with heart
ache with with so much of pain with so much of hurt and worry. But this love story with Allah
		
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			subhanho wa Taala is never ever going to end up with, with heart ache with pain with worry never.
Allah azza wa jal is going to keep you happy forever and ever. So look, you maintain ties of
kinship, you enjoy a relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala. Just as he sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam said in the Hadith, if you maintain your ties of kinship, Allah azza wa jal has promised that
he will maintain you and He will have a relationship with you, Allahu Akbar. Just amazing number
one. Number two is the slogan of believing in Allah and the day of
		
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			Hadith in Bukhari. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is reputed to have said, Man can you know
be law he will you will hear for yourself rahima the one who believes in Allah and the Last Day let
him unite his ties of kinship. McKenna you may not be land he will Yeoman acid financial rahima the
one who believes in Allah and the Last Day that him unite ties of kinship. So number two, it is the
slogan of believing in Allah and the Last Day if you call yourself a believer, if you believe in the
last day, then it is upon you to unite your ties of kinship, it is upon you to maintain family unity
May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us all to do so. Next in line. The third benefit and this is
		
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			something I think that will appeal to all of us. Hadith is a Muslim Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam his report have said men have a Ubisoft Allah who fear is they are you and Allah who feel
utterly for the
		
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			amazing the individual who wishes that Allah as Virgil should increase sustenance for him. Money
risk provision, if he wishes that Allah subhanho wa Taala should increase his provision for him. And
if he wishes that Allah azza wa jal should prolong his life for him, should prolong his life for
him. The What should he do for the SL rahima. Let him unite his ties of kinship. This particular
wording in the Hadith are Yun Salah houfy fra scholars of Hadith scholars who have written the
commentary of this particular Hadith they have given explanations. One is if you wish that Allah
should prolong your life. Number two, if you wish, that Allah subhanho wa Taala should give you a
		
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			life that you know in the sense people will respect you, people will honor you. And if you wish that
you should have a life where you will leave behind a golden legacy. All these interpretations can
come under that particular wording in the Hadith. Today, you know, when we ask individuals in terms
of their legacies, in terms of their legacies, we are attempts clueless when we mentioned Legacy The
high tech guys in the house will be thinking about the legacy application or the legacy games
perhaps nobody we very rarely think about our legacies, you know if you don't take anything from me,
tonight, home, back home, at least take this when you go after the talk. Ask yourself, this is a
		
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			question that we very, very rarely ask ourselves. Ask yourself, what is the legacy that I'm going to
leave behind? What is the legacy that I am going to leave behind because each and every one of us we
are going to leave behind a legacy?
		
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			Look at the legacy of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam look at the legacy
		
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			Sahaba downlighter Allah Halima Jemaine. This is something I've been touching on in the past few
days because it is, you know, Food for Thought we need to think about our legacies, we are all going
to leave behind a legacy every single day. As you get up in the morning, it is a rice, you get up in
the morning, it's On your marks, get set, go every single day. Why? Because time is of the essence.
We are striving to do what to earn the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala. When you analyze the
lives of the Sahaba, one litre Allah, Allah a madman, you easily come to a conclusion that there was
always a healthy competition between the Sahaba the one litre Allah, Allah majima in where they used
		
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			to strive to do good deeds, not attained materialistic assets. today that competition has turned the
other way around. Today we compete with one another, yes. But in terms of gaining materialistic
assets, oh, you have a BMW five series, I need to get a Mercedes or you have an M five, I need to
get something else I need to perhaps get an X five. You've got this. I need to get this. It's a
competition between us. But it's all about materialistic assets. Remember, my dear brother, my
sister tomorrow. When you pass away, it is inevitable. We're all going to pass away. Kowloon FCM
that effect almost every social inevitability tasted, we're all going to die tomorrow when you die.
		
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			Remember, nobody is going to talk about you. Nobody is going to remember you by talking about your
Emporio Armani suit. Nobody is going to talk about your Louis Vuitton shoes. Nobody's going to talk
about your Rolex watch. Nobody is going to talk about the brands that you should check yourself
with. Nobody's going to talk about the vehicle you drove, nobody's going to talk about dimension
that used to live in, nobody's going to talk about any of that. All they're going to talk about is
about your legacy, or they're going to talk about is about your good deeds. So as believers as
followers of Muhammad Salallahu, alayhi wasallam, we need to dream big, we need to have high
		
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			aspirations. As they say, shoot for the moon, you land amongst the stars, you shoot for the moon,
you land amongst the stars, we need to have to live with him. We need to have high aspirations, the
Sahaba they used to have this today what has happened is we tend to, you know, think low of
ourselves, we we think low of ourselves, and we don't have high aspirations. We feel like you know,
no, I don't think I can do it. Why? Because today, this issue of pessimism, this issue of negativity
has riddled us with so much of weaknesses and so much of defects that we can't think in a positive
manner. At the end of the day, we're following Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who is the
		
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			greatest optimist to ever walk on the face of this earth. He used to look at everything from a
positive angle. And he had such high aspirations. When they were in Medina, Rasulullah sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, you should talk about Persia and Rome. One might wonder, oh, you're just in
Medina. It is a small band of Muslims, and you're talking about Persia and Rome. But that was the
high aspirations of Rasulullah sallallahu.
		
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			Today, you and I, we all have the potential within us. There was once someone who said this
beautiful story. There was a man
		
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			who boarded a train.
		
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			He purchased a train ticket, and he boarded a train.
		
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			And when he boarded the train, the conductor, you're the one who takes the tickets. Basically, he
came to him and he asked him for his ticket. He had his ticket with him, he gave him the ticket. The
man took the ticket and kicked this, the conductor took the ticket and kicked this man out of the
train. Even though he had a legitimate ticket, he kicked him out of the train. He kicked him out of
the train. And this man, he fell on the platform of the train station, he fell on the platform. And
no sooner his head hit the platform. He dreamt a dream.
		
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			A dream so big. He dreamt that he would free his country. And he worked towards it. And he achieved
it. And he was none other than Mahatma Gandhi.
		
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			We need to dream big. You might want to at that point, being thrown out of a train. And he's
thinking about freeing his country.
		
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			But he did it. You and I we all have the potential to bring about a change to do great things. But
at times we don't think we feel like you know, I can't do it. That's the problem. We need to believe
in ourselves. We can we have it within us with the help of Allah subhanho wa Taala we can we have to
believe in that. No sooner we do it, we can inshallah achieve great things. May Allah subhanho wa
Taala help us all to do so. Okay, so coming back to the Heidi, the individual who likes or wishes
that Allah subhanho wa Taala should give him should give him most sustenance should give him a long
life should give him a life where he leaves behind a legacy that resounds of goodness throughout the
		
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			annals of time. What does he have to do?
		
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			I hope I didn't lose you all. Where does he have to do?
		
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			fairly simple. He just has to unite family ties, he has to maintain kinship, had he is a Muslim?
		
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			If he maintains Family Ties Now you might wonder, what has Family Ties got to do with this? It has a
lot to do with it. Because according to the right of Islam, a family is of utmost importance. The
family is a building block towards a healthy society. If we talk about the people of Harrow
Mashallah, it's a lovely community here. May Allah azza wa jal except you all I mean, each and every
family contributes towards this society towards this community, a healthy family with two good
parents, lovely children obedient, righteous, pious, they contribute, they are a building block
towards this society. And if we have hundreds of families, Masha Allah that strengthens that
		
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			society, you become a strong society here within Harrow and shaitan knows this. And this is why
shaytan strives to fragment ties families, he strives to break apart families, you know, of the
famous headin where shaitana setup is thrown in the middle of the ocean. And this is in Muslim if
I'm not mistaken. And every single day he takes account from all of his minions and his little foot
soldiers. He calls all of them and he takes account from them. Each and every one of them the little
devils. They all say, you know, I did this, I did that I perhaps you know, cause this mischeif calls
this corruption I did this I did that I misguided this person, I misled this person, they all have
		
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			their reports to give him he listens to everything. Until finally one of the devils say I was with a
husband and a wife, I was with two spouses. And I did not leave them until I made them pathways. In
other words, until I made them divorce shaitaan he congratulates the little devil. And he says You
have done well. You have done when the scholars of Hadith they mentioned that this is so important
to share it on. Because he knows the minute two spouses part ways that family is going to break into
pieces. May Allah subhana wa tada protect our families, the children will be broken, they're going
to be psychologically disturbed. They're going to become psychologically disturbed individuals,
		
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			they're going to be torn apart between father and mother. And tomorrow, they are not going to May
Allah save our children, but they're going to be mentally disturbed. They're not going to be whole
individuals when they come out tomorrow because obviously, they've gone through the trauma of seeing
their parents separate. So we need to strive and talking about kinship. It applies between a husband
and a wife. It applies between children and their parents. It applies between siblings. It applies
between all family members. And remember, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, we need to maintain
ties of kinship, it's so important, especially between siblings. Look at the story of use of Allah
		
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			is another
		
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			story of use of amnesia that was so many lessons to be derived Time is of the essence. And due to
its brevity, I won't go into a lot of detail, but still,
		
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			because the siblings of use of Aliza wassalam thought that use valleys that was Anam was their
father's favorite. They thought, which is completely wrong. That was never the case. But they had
this misconception they thought that use valleys that Muslim was their father's favorite, that
resulted in them plotting against their own little brother, and so much to the extent that they
plotted to kill him, Allahu Akbar, they own blood. Just imagine your own brothers plotting to kill
you. They plotted and ended up throwing him into a deep dark Well,
		
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			there are a number of lessons that can be derived from the story, as well as in general, that as
parents, this was never the case with the story of use of alleys not wassalam. But as parents, we
need to be extremely careful that we don't play favorites with our children. Today, some parents
tend to play favorites with their children due to a number of reasons. But still, at times this
favoritism can morph into abuse. Let me explain. It can morph into abuse, where the favorite child
in the sense the favorite child is also abused. And the child who is not favored is also abused.
		
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			The one who is favored,
		
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			builds up a superiority complex so much to the extent that that child is filled with an inflated
ego. That child feels like wherever the child goes, he or she feels like people need to favor me
people need to do things for me just as how my father or my mother used to do for me, the child was
not favored. On the other hand, suffers insecurity suffers, being insecure, suffers an inferiority
complex and this child starts to look for assurances outside the home and that may result in these
predatory
		
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			groups outside taking advantage of the little child may Allah subhanho wa Taala protect our
children. There is a hadith when a man a beneficiary of your loved one, he wants to climb the carpet
and he address the people. He said to them, the incident goes along the lines of these words, let me
tell you all of an incident that took place between my father and the sort of lies that a lot while
he was at the center, once my father wanted to give me something, I'm a bit of a hero of the alarm
when he's saying this, once my father wanted to gift me something. And when he wanted to do that, my
mother said, Go to the sort of lines that allow you to send them and ask him to witness that you're
		
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			gifting this. Allahu Allah. Maybe she said something. But she wanted her husband to go to Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and asked him to witness it. So not only that, but she wrote the alarm
on his father goes to totaliser Allahu Allah, Allah Islam and says, yaroslava I want you to witness
that I'm going to give something to my son. You know, what was sort of I said, Allah, Allah, you
asked him, he asked him, fine, you're giving something to not man? Have you given the same to your
other children? Have you gifted the same to your other children? To which the man replied in the
negative? He said, No, I haven't. Then also realize that a lot while evaluation and very sternly
		
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			advises him fear of law and treat your children with equity, treat your children equally with
justice. In another narration, the same incident is reported in different words, a supervisor Allahu
alayhi wa sallam his report rep said to him very sternly, don't call me to witness for I cannot for
I do not witness injustice.
		
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			We have to be equal with our children. Because if we are not the minute we start playing favorites,
that's when envy builds, that's when grudges start forming. That's when hatred comes in. And that's
when siblings start to fight with one another, just as how the brothers of use of Allah that
wassalam they thought it was never the case, but they thought that use valets that was salon was
their father's favorite, and they plotted against him, and they almost killed the use of it. So that
was around a lot.
		
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			So we as parents, we need to be extremely careful that we don't play favorites with our children, we
have to be equal, according to the teachings of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and this
favoritism, it manifests itself in different forms, it comes about in different forms. One, where a
parent would sometimes in a very systematic manner, only Chava, one child from his or her children
with gifts, shower, one child with affection, where the other children are left off. So they feel
deprived, they feel sad, they feel they sometimes even go through minor forms of depression at
times, this is one way. Another form is when a parent does not discipline a child, he or she
		
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			disciplines all the other children, but because the parent favors this one child, he or she does not
discipline this child, he or she does not give heavy chose to that child heavy duties to the child.
So that child feels favored, whereas the all the other children feel, you know, why are we perhaps
they're not good enough. They always feel insecure, they always feel insecure. Another form is when
parents talk positively to one child, or about one child, and leave all the other children aside.
When they're talking to someone about their children. They only focus on this one child, oh, she's
so bright, she studied so well. She's got straight A's, she's this she's that neglecting the other
		
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			child. Remember, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, we as parents, we need to understand that
each child is different. Each child is different. And when we talk about treating children equally,
it's not only taking an apple and cutting it into two and giving two halves equally, that's not the
definition of justice here. At times, yes, that is the case. But sometimes we need to study our
children for each child is an individual who has a set of needs, abilities and talents. Say for
example, let me give you an example. You have two children, one child is talented, academically
gifted whilst the other child is not so intelligent, is not so intelligent. Now this child who is
		
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			talented and who is intelligent wants to pursue
		
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			a particular field, a very complex field, perhaps, and maybe you may have to spend a little more on
that the other child does not want to pursue that field. Now, just because that child does not want
to pursue that complex field. You cannot say justice is to deprive the intelligent child also of
that field. Now, you're supposed to give the intelligent child his or her right, and you're supposed
to give the child who does not want to pursue that field, his or her right. This is being just this
is being equal. This is just one situation. But in general, we need to study our children. We need
to be able to treat them equally in a manner where they don't feel deprived. This is what we call
		
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			justice and equity May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us all to treat our children in the best of
manners accord the teachings of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam moving on to the merits of
uniting Family Ties number four in the list.
		
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			The list is uniting Family Ties is one of the greatest reasons for entering Jenna. One of the
greatest reasons Allahu Akbar. There is a hadith we are one so happy all day long on our social
lives that Allahu Allahu alayhi salam, and remember, I'm giving you all a Hadith of the Prophet
sallallahu sallam, not just words from my pocket. These are all the Heidi improving each point of
mine with the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. This had his record a Muslim, there
was a Sahabi who went Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and asked him Yasser Allah. Maybe I'm
going to do the philony agenda inform me of a deed that would grant me entrance into general the
		
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			sort of lies that allow while you it was seldom then taught that so heavy taboo LA, worship Allah Wa
La to Shrek will be shy and do not associate partners unto him. But okay Masada established sala de
aza give out zeca La Silla him and enjoying family ties, unite family ties, and you will enter law.
You can have beautiful the teachings of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Look at how
beautiful Islam is many brothers and sisters in Islam. Now moving on in terms of the punishments an
individual would have to incur if he or she severs family ties. This is also something very
important. We need to understand the gravity today sometimes for petty issues for petty issues.
		
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			siblings are not talking to one another. Children disregard their parents, they're not talking to
their parents Allahu Akbar, for petty issues, you need to understand the gravity The minute you
sever a relationship, what you have to face in terms of the punishment and the in terms of the
punishments and the consequences. May Allah subhanho wa Taala save us on Eliza virgin he stated the
noble for an
		
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			for * I say to him
		
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			to say don't fill out the motto
		
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			our hammock on Ola you can Latina Anna.
		
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			For Hello, I say come into one little
		
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			courtyard hammock. And if you were given authority if you were given power over the lens and tuxedo
fill earth would you cause mischeif? Would you cause mischief and corruption on the face of this
earth? And would you sever ties of relationship of family along? If you are given power? If you were
given authority, would you cause mischief and corruption on earth by severing ties family ties, so
look at the connection by severing Family Ties by cutting family ties, you are causing mischief and
corruption on the face of this earth and the ayah does not end there. Now is the CV admonishment
coming up will equal Xena, Lana Humala. They are the ones cursed by Allah subhanho wa ala Dena la
		
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			Mola, they are the ones cursed not by any ordinary human being. At times we fear the curse of normal
human beings. This is Allah cursing, the ones who save our family ties la eco la Vina Allahu LA for
Asana home wa salam and allies that makes them deaf and blind, deaf to that which is good blind to
that which is good. May Allah subhanho wa Taala open the doors of understanding for all of us. I
mean, if you sever family ties, if you don't understand the value of uniting family ties, Allah
Subhana what Allah has cursed those individuals moving on, there is no sin. This is another Hadith
of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, there is no sin. Listen to me carefully. There is no
		
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			sin, Mo fitted to have punishment meted out to that individual in advance in this life as well as
the Hey after that operation and cutting family ties, if you cut family ties, if you sever family
relationships, there is no sin greater than that other than operation there is no sin greater than
that, for you to be punished in this world as well as the hereafter. It's not only in Africa, you
will be punished in this world as well. In the sense Look, if you if you fulfill family ties, if you
enjoy and family ties, Allah prolongs your life and Allah gives you more sustenance. So obviously if
you cut family dies, the opposite is going to happen. Your sustenance is going to be restricted,
		
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			your life is going to be shortened May Allah subhanho wa Taala save us all. I mean,
		
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			moving on another Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and this has been clear so
Hebrew mama Benny Rahim Allah every Thursday, every Thursday, the deeds of the children of Adam, are
displayed unto Allah subhanho wa Taala. Every Thursday evening, every Friday night basically, every
Thursday evening, the deeds of the children of Adam our deeds are presented to Allah subhana wa to
Allah. And Allah azza wa jal realized a long while ago it was mentioned in that Hadith, the
individual who severs family ties, his deeds will not be accepted by Allah subhanho data. What's the
point? What's the
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:38
			point of striving and coming to the mistake for five Salawat what is the point of going on Hajj?
What is the point of going on an ombre? What is the point in dishing out charity? What is the point
in fasting the month of Ramadan, if you have severed family ties, none of those deeds are going to
be accepted by Allah subhanho wa Taala if you're not talking to your mother, your deeds are not
accepted by Allah subhanho wa Taala if you're not talking to your father, your deeds are not
accepted by Allah subhanho wa Taala. If you have seven family ties between your siblings, between
your brothers, your sisters, your cousins, your uncle's, your aunts, your grandparents, your deeds
		
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			are not going to be accepted but Allah subhanho wa Taala we are all striving we want our deeds to be
accepted by Allah azza wa jal. So it's just a matter of swallowing our ego, swallowing, swallowing
our pride, and going ahead and patching up things between our relations. Sometimes it's just our
ego. We don't want to come down from our high horse and patch up, we're like, we didn't do anything
wrong. They are the ones who made the mistake. Let them come and apologize. Let them come and say
sorry, let them visit First, let them gift first, and then we will go
		
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			Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he is referred to have said, the person who
unites ties of kinship, just because he is relative united ties of kinship. The person who visits
because his relatives visited the person who gifts because his relative gifted is not the individual
who unites ties of kinship. The individual who unites ties of kinship is when his relation service
ties like say, for example, your uncle, he does not want to meet you. When you greet him, he does
not greet you. When you give him something, he does not give you anything. When you visit him, he
does not even want to entertain you. But you're striving you're trying hard to patch up things, you
		
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			are the one going to be rewarded for.
		
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			Not when you think oh, my uncle came so I'll go visit him. My aunt came so I'll go visit her. That
is just almost it. for that. You have to take the initiative, the extra step, you have to go the
extra mile to get all these reports that I mentioned, from Allah Subhana, Allah Allah.
		
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			And finally, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, in terms of
		
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			the punishments that are given out to an individual, a perpetrator who cuts family ties, this is a
very serious one, the Hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
		
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			Leia the full agenda.
		
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			The one who severs Family Ties will not antigen.
		
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			So definitely.
		
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			What are we doing here? What are we doing in this world, this short, temporary life that we have,
the other day, I was listening to a beautiful analogy about life.
		
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			Just think of yourself or think of Mirada and walking down a pathway. And walking down the battery.
Say for example, I'm walking down this path, You with me?
		
00:32:58 --> 00:33:34
			You with me, I'm walking down this path is a path with beautiful scenery to my right and my left, to
my right and my left. I mean, I'm engrossed and engrossed in the scenery, I'm looking at the
beautiful sights, the trees, the chirping of the birds, I'm so engrossed. And I'm walking down this
pathway, I fail to notice a huge gaping pit in front of me, I fail to notice it because I'm so
engrossed with the beautiful sights around me. And then I'm walking, I failed to notice the pit. And
suddenly before I know it, I fall into the pit, I fall into the pit and I die. May Allah subhana wa
Taala protect me and protect all of us. I mean,
		
00:33:36 --> 00:33:37
			this is the analogy of life.
		
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			The path is the short, temporary transitory stage that we are all going through you and I we're all
going through it.
		
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			The beautiful sights are the know that the pleasures of this dunya engrosses us that gaping pit is
death.
		
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			It is going to come upon a suddenly, suddenly, you won't even know it, it'll just hit you in your
face. And then it'll be too late. Just as how when you feel like you're falling down a bit, and you
want to come out How can you you're crashing down a bit. Likewise, you will face that, and then
it'll be too late and happen so suddenly, even before you realize it, just as how when you're
walking down a path, you don't know about the pitch, suddenly you fall into it like that, suddenly
the angel of death will come in front of you. So you need to do things quickly. So don't think that
oh, I can patch up things with my father or my mother. Maybe it was the end of the year. Maybe you
		
00:34:32 --> 00:35:00
			know what, let's eat will fit or come about oh yes the chef he spoke about Mashallah family an
anchor during rough waters. You know, our let me wait till June 5 or comes about and then I'll go
and touch up things. Oh, they live in North London is so far away. I've never been to North London.
So I you know, forget it. Let me go a little further. But when you live until April 5, what
guarantee do you have? Do you have a document with you that says, when you're going to leave this
world, none of us have a guarantee. We don't even know whether we will
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:04
			See the light of tomorrow? We don't, we can sleep and not get up tomorrow.
		
00:35:05 --> 00:35:46
			And this is a question that we have to all ask ourselves, are we ready to meet Allah subhanho wa
Taala, it can happen any time. And I call upon each and every one of you. If you have severed ties
of relationship with any of your family members, don't hesitate today. We live in such a modern era,
our families are divided. Yes, geographer George geographically divided, maybe you are here in the
United Kingdom, and then your family is back home in Pakistan, India, Sri Lanka, wherever they be,
he doesn't mean Yeah, in those days, it used to cost a lot to call today, all you have to do is take
your WhatsApp, your wife, or your telegram, whatever it is, and you can contact them.
		
00:35:47 --> 00:36:09
			And for us, individuals who have access to all of this, we all have 100. And they're supposed to use
these platforms to keep in touch with their family members, that these are good ways to use these
platforms, you have Facebook, because sometimes perhaps if your family is back at home, I'm talking
about you know, your cousins and your uncles and aunts, perhaps if you're if you're not keeping in
touch with them.
		
00:36:11 --> 00:36:47
			You can sometimes you lose touch, you may you know, gradually drift apart. So you can use social
media, see family members, brothers and sisters, they can easily open up a whatsapp group today, for
every little thing, you open up a group, you got a project and in the office, you open up a group,
you guys are gonna go out for a coffee, you open up a group for that, be open up groups for the most
observed things at times, and you're like, Oh my God, I've got another group coming up on WhatsApp.
And you're like in so many groups. But the most important of all these groups is that you need to
have a family group, a family group, perhaps you're married, now your sisters are married, your
		
00:36:47 --> 00:37:13
			brothers are married their children, light moments, maybe little things, videos, snippets about
their children, pictures about their children, they can put it up you can share moments, family
moments, share a light moment, and keep in touch that you're all connected. Perhaps you live in the
United Kingdom, perhaps your brother lives in Europe, your other brother lives in Paris, maybe
you're living all around the world. But using these platforms, we can all keep in touch. It's so
easy. But before that,
		
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			if things have gone a bit sad,
		
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			if things have gone a bit sad, arguments are inevitable. We are all human beings, we have
differences of opinion and be sometimes, you know, things go sour. The devil also, you know, makes
things worse, we need to go out of the way and patch up as soon as possible. Like I said earlier,
sometimes it's our ego it's applied, that doesn't allow us to go ahead and patch up. We think why
should I go and patch it? And sometimes it's for the
		
00:37:48 --> 00:38:27
			slightest of things. Sometimes the smallest of things are blown out of proportion. And thunderstorms
are brewing in tea cups. You know, thunderstorm can a thunderstorm be brewed in a teacup, it's
impossible. tiny things are blown out of proportion. It's a small thing, a small disagreement, a
small matter, perhaps between a brother and a sister, it's a small matter, perhaps something may
have come up the small argument that blows out of proportion. And you say I'm not going to talk to
you. She says she's not going to talk to you. But look at the punishments. This is what is severe,
and we need to be understanding all of this. Are you do you think that it is worth risking all of
		
00:38:27 --> 00:38:43
			that? Just for a petty argument? Do you think it's worth risking your agenda for that petty
argument? Do you think it's worth risking the relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala. For this
petty issue for this petty, Petty disagreement, it is not worth it at all.
		
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			So as believers, we must strive to unite our families. And say perhaps if you know that your brother
or your sister, or perhaps your uncle or your aunt, is not talking to another religion of yours, you
as a believer, as a follower of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it's your responsibility to go
in and mediate between the two. And do you know that in general line to line it is haram it is the
same. But in the case of uniting two individuals, uniting two spouses, uniting two family members,
it is allowed to lie, a white lie, not a direct line or a white lie, a diplomatic lie. It is
allowed. Say for example, you could go to individuals who are not talking and tell one individual,
		
00:39:36 --> 00:39:54
			you know, I heard him talking good about you. I heard this other individual talking good about you.
And you can intend that at some point of your life. You may have heard him say something good about
him. If you have you can intend that and say, I heard him talking good about you can go to the other
individual and say you know what? I heard him talking about you.
		
00:39:55 --> 00:39:56
			And they both think
		
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			behind me he spoke good about me.
		
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			And then when they meet the next time, at least that coldness might have melted a little bit. And
you may have been the cause for that. The coldness may have melted a bit, and it's possible that
perhaps one of them may initiate Salaam salaam aleikum in a cold way. But the other May, Allah comes
around, okay. And he might think, oh, he spoke good about me the other day, the other might think,
oh, he spoke good about media, they're never going to go and ask one another. Did you speak good
about me? And the other is not gonna say, Did you speak good about me, they never could ask one
another. But through that they might unite and families can unite. And there might be marriages that
		
00:40:33 --> 00:40:40
			can take place, and all of that the good deeds, we'll come back to you, my dear brother, for your
little effect. For those words that you spoke
		
00:40:43 --> 00:40:55
			for coming in the middle of the two and trying to mediate a little bit, you're going to be rewarded
by Allah subhanho wa Taala. But for this, we need to understand the value of all of these deeds. We
need to understand the value of family.
		
00:40:56 --> 00:41:09
			Sometimes some of us, you know, because we do counseling, and we know, some are so hard hearted.
They know nothing doing I'm not going to talk to my sister, I'm not going to talk to my brother to
talk with him. I've never been a doctor.
		
00:41:10 --> 00:41:22
			I don't care even if I die. I'm not going to talk to her such harsh statements. And let me tell them
about all of this. That's when they start thinking, Oh, I don't care even if I'm gonna die, but then
I'm not going to go into Jenna. So what's the point?
		
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			The brother is going to go on Hajj. What is the point when you are not patched up things with your
brother with your sister with your mother, your father with your relatives, the Hajj is not going to
be accepted by Allah subhanho wa Taala because of the Hadees I just gave you. Every Thursday the
deeds are shown to Allah subhanho wa Taala and the one who severs relationships, the one who severs
family ties, his deeds are not going to be accepted by Allah.
		
00:41:44 --> 00:41:52
			So my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, I call upon each and every one of you today, this very
moment, if you
		
00:41:54 --> 00:42:29
			have relations, family members, that perhaps things have gone a little bit sour, or things have gone
really bad really go on SAP, it doesn't matter. patch up things with them ASAP. Just take the phone,
call them up to say sorry, you're going to be the greatest person in the equation. To say Sorry,
sorry, is a word that can just patch up things immediately. Swallow your pride, swallow your ego and
know that you're going to be rewarded by Allah subhanho wa Taala. Perhaps that individual might just
say, you know what, I don't even want to listen to you and they might just hang up on you. It
doesn't matter. You have taken the initiative, the angels are going to record that and you are going
		
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			to be rewarded by Allah subhanho wa Taala, who cares, your sustenance is going to be increased, your
lifespan is going to be increased and you are going to get gender so who cares what people think,
who cares about your relative things? It doesn't matter. Let them talk what they want to talk at the
end of the day you are going to attain success in the in the in the Hereafter, you're going to
attend the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala what mode do we want?
		
00:42:52 --> 00:43:21
			So take the initiative, thank you for call them up. If you can just go visit them take a few gifts,
say salams as much as possible. According to the words of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
spread Salam amongst you start loving one another gift one another you will love one another. These
are the Hadith of the prophets that Allahu Allah you as you know, it doesn't mean that you have to
go buy an expensive gift is not the gift that counts is the thought that counts. You can give
something small is the thought that counts. Oh, you thought about me? You bought something for me.
		
00:43:22 --> 00:43:28
			When you meet them say Salaam salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. May peace be upon all of
you, you're making the alpha, this brings about love.
		
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			So let us strive to do this. Let us catch up things with our family members. If things have gone
south, may Allah subhanho wa Taala help us all to do so. And just as how unitrust saying this
beautiful message in Harrow may unite us in the gardens of gender with our beloved prophet muhammad
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I mean after that 100 a little bit of enemy intersecting with it.