Muhammad West – The Women Around the Messenger SAW – Episode 49

			I mean,
		

			he was so happy he married a beloved brothers in Islamic Santa Monica.
		

			Thank you so much for joining us this episode 49 of our CDs, the Blissett women around the messenger
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And indeed, this is our second last episode of the series in sha Allah.
When we do that next episode, Episode 50, would have completed this wonderful series. And we're very
keen to hear from you how you've benefited from the series, there's any ways in which we can improve
any ways in which we could do better, please let us know any other questions that you may have. And
we would love to have some feedback from you. For us, we just released this recording, and we put it
out there into the universe, and we have no idea who received it, who doesn't receive it. And
		

			therefore we greatly appreciate the feedback. So please do so. Also any comments that you could give
any questions that you may ask, I guarantee that there are other people out there that would have
similar kind of sentiments, and that could be your selectable jharia, you could reach many, many
1000s of people just by having something that you feed back into us in sha Allah. Also, once the
series is completed, we would like to continue with this online format, this WhatsApp format and
with our next what's Islam series, and we have put out a poll. inshallah, in terms of what topics
are beneficial for you what topics are most relevant to you, we know that most of us are busy
		

			people, it's difficult sometimes to physically attend a madrasa class, even though inshallah that is
the ideal thing to do. We hope to LIFO substitute that gap, fill that gap with this online solution.
So let us know exactly what areas of interest to you. And inshallah we will tailor our course based
on that some of you have already came back to us. Many of you have said that you're kidding. I've
seen some of you would like to do the basics. really look at the things that you studied as a young
person. But now in more depth and in more detail. Some of you have mentioned that you'd like to do
the biography of the prophets also love the seal of the yearning about the life of his wives also
		

			love you actually want to know more about his life. So please let us know in sha Allah. So getting
back to our series, we were going through the controversial a hadith pertaining to women, some
things that might be controversial for us. In our last episode, we mentioned the testimony of a
woman being half of that of a man we spoke about inheritance. A week or two ago, we spoke about the
beating of women, it's very controversial areas. And we've hopefully have discussed them in detail.
And I hope that is clarified certain matters, this would be got a few more left. So let's look at
this Hadith, the prophet SAW salam, there was a woman that walked and she walked in a manner which
		

			was swaying, and it was done in a manner which attracted the attention of certain men. And so the
purpose of sentences, the woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil. So when one of you
sees a woman, you should come to his wife for that repel what he feels in his heart. And this hadith
is mentioned by Muslim. So many people take exception from this hadith number one, they say the
Prophet peace upon him is saying a woman looks like the devil, or the woman is in the shape of a
devil. And then he continues to say like, if a man sees something that attracts him, that he should
go to his wife, this is such a horrible thing that he has this other woman on his mind. And when it
		

			comes to his wife, I mean by myself personally, if you go to your wife, and you say, you know, I've
been, you know, I've these urges, because I saw a strange woman, and I'm coming to you, she will
tell you, basically, to sleep on the couch for the evening. So how do we understand this hadith?
Well, firstly, the probability upon him was not mentioned in this hadith for women in general, he's
saying that this woman in the way she's walking, and anyone who emulates her, and deliberately, you
know, put yourself out there in a seductive way, deliberately does things maybe through the way she
dresses or the way she wears her makeup to draw attention and to arouse men around. And this is from
		

			the shaytaan, he's saying this kind of behavior is from the Shaitaan. And it's not permissible. And
naturally, this also goes for a man, if a man you know, this is who acts in a certain way, which
inappropriate. And today's panel, we live in a society that is over sexualized, that everything is
done to be seductive in a way it is done to create temptation. We live in a very difficult time we
you can't even hide from it. It's on your phone, in your room in your very personal space. You see
these things. So the problem sometimes is if you put that kind of images out there, you dress in
that way and you're acting that way. Even if you talk in that way. Then it is from shape on your
		

			Facebook photos that you show. This is from Shane Jones behind Allah. Obviously, Allah subhanho wa
Taala encouraged us first, first and foremost, Allah says to all of us, lower your gaze. So while
you have women dressed inappropriately, it's not an excuse for you as men to look and suddenly or
even say to the ladies and lower your gaze as well. Even if men are dressed inappropriately
assistance you need to lower your gaze. So there is no excuse for you to look even if the person
that is next to you is not dressed properly, you should lower your gaze but that person should also
understand that this is inappropriate. So that is what the Hadith is saying.
		

			Prophet goes on further and says, you know, if you find something in your heart you arouse you
turned on, then go to that which is hot alpha, you go to that which is halau for you. Now, it's a
practical solution. It's logical, it's practical that this person in the whole dunya has been made
halau for you, no one else can you enjoy this desire, except with this woman with us, man. And so
take that which is made halau for you, we have urges. We are human beings, and things into our
heart. And we don't know how those things enter into our heart. Shaytan is constantly shooting us
with these arrows. It might come through something we look at something, we're something we just by
		

			accident, you know, keeps into our mind. And automatically, the desire has been the fire of the
heart has become stoked. So the prophets giving you very practical examples, when you have this, go
immediately to your wife go to that just halaal and you know, enjoy which Allah has permitted for
you to enjoy, and you'll be rewarded in that while hamdulillah. And it's very important brothers and
sisters, that we should not, we should not deprive that which is halau from us, especially in an
environment that is so full of temptation. This is the thing which Allah has made halau for you. And
in that way we block off any form of Xena and falling into mistake mama protect us next Hadeeth it
		

			wasn't narrated that a Sahabi said he says the Prophet said prayer is interrupted was invalidated by
a woman, a donkey or a dog. But something like a back of a saddle protects you against that. What
does he mean? He's saying that if you're making Salah, and a donkey or a dog, when a woman walks
past you, then in front of you, then your Salah is made Bothell and rather you should have a sitter,
you must have something put in front of you to prevent anyone from coming between them. Now, this
idea is in Muslim, but there are many other Hadith which also speak of this, in fact, when I share
heard this man saying this, so she said to him, are you making us equal like donkeys and dogs, that
		

			this thing you're talking is nonsense. This is what you are saying here. She disagrees with a man.
And she says to him, Do you know that when the professor used to make the hijab, at night, I would
be lying sleeping, and my feet would be in front of him. When he goes into sujood he lifts my feet
up and puts it to one side, and then he will put his face into jute and when he comes up from
surgery, I put my feet back. So not only am I walking in front of him, I'm permanently standing in
front of his scapula. So I should say I completely disagree with you what you saying is incorrect,
but rather, what the Hadith is mentioning. And whether the Prophet Allah mentioned woman, this might
		

			be a question mark here. Rather what it should be is that we should have a sutra and we shouldn't
let people walk in front of us. But of course, if someone walks in front of you, this does not
invalidate your your Salah and certainly a woman does not invalidate your Salah if she walks in
front of you. So this is Ayesha responding and hamdulillah no further discussion when our mother
Ayesha gives a reason. Now the Hadith we find that the prophets of Salaam mentioned any woman who
gets married without permission of her body, her marriage is invalid, a marriage is invalid her
marriage is invalid. He repeated this three times. So what does this mean? We mentioned this before,
		

			that when a woman that the Sharia has given to her the laws and the rights pertaining to her that no
system on Earth had given us so many rights like the Sharia had given her. But it went even further
and saying laws on paper, or laws in a book have no meaning unless you have someone needs to protect
her rights, and therefore every woman needs a Willie, every woman needs a Harley. And therefore when
the well he gives over his wilaya when a woman gets married the father or the uncle, whoever it
might be passes over the wilaya to this new husband, he needs his approval, you need the approval of
your way. And if she does not get that approval, then this marriage is not valid than this marriage
		

			has a problem. Now, it should not be used in certain societies. Unfortunately, you find that fathers
stop a woman from marrying the person she wants to marry. Or he uses this as a means to control her.
There's another Hadith and again, we shouldn't just look at one Hadith, another Hadith of the
provinces of fathers or wellies of women, that if a person of the whole Qin Lu Islamic that he has
Islam, religious observance, and he has good character, even if he's not rich, even if he's not the
most powerful man, he doesn't have high status, but he has good character and he's a practicing
brother, then don't stop your daughters from marrying this person, then, you know, give your
		

			daughter in marriage without hassling them. Because this is the kind of man that will be good to
her. He's good character will protect him from harming her, and therefore don't control her.
Ultimately, we should marry the people that we want you as a family, you just need to ensure that
she's not being taken advantage of you are not the to control her. You're not there to try and say,
Oh, this is not my foot. This is not the person you're not getting married to him. You don't have to
like him. You don't have to be attracted to him. You are the one that's supposed to if he meets the
criteria per the Sharia. Then as a Wali, you need to say yes, also, we mentioned further that if she
		

			has been previously married, they really actually you can't even say no, you're just there as a
formality. This is a
		

			We know that the prophecy says a woman has more rights to herself if she was previously married. And
above all of these things we know also a very clear Howdy, howdy if and everything that it is haram
for you to marry a woman or father to marry his daughter without her permission, she needs to give
her approval. So just like the well he has a say, the woman has a say, but ultimately, ultimately,
the approval rests with the bride and the groom. Now, the Hadith, cursed by the angels, the
prophecies, if a man calls his wife to his bed, meaningful intimacy, and she refuses, and she
doesn't come, and therefore he spends the night angry with the angels will curse her until the
		

			morning. So let me build that scenario. Ahmed and Fatima, a married man and Fatima have a fight over
something. And Fatima is angry. And now our next panelist is after a few hours or two he wants to
make up or not even wake up. He doesn't even say sorry to her. But he says to her come to the beach.
And she says no, I don't want to be intimate with you. Then this hadith says that she's been cursed
by the angels behind on law. People ask why should she be cursed by the angels? Because she refuses
* with her husband. Now, from an emotional side, we may feel that but let's take this a
step back. And let's think about it. What is intimacy in terms of nikka intimacy is an obligation on
		

			both spouses. A wife can divorce a husband that doesn't want to be intimate with her. A husband can
divorce a wife, he can go to the emergency, you can go to the cinema and say my wife doesn't want to
sleep with me, the wife can go to the emergency room and say my husband doesn't please me in the bed
on that grounds. Its reasons for divorce. So intimacy, yes, it's something that we it should go
beyond just like you know what I'm giving you your hug. It's something I don't want to do. But I'm
just doing it just because I have to. Obviously, we want more than that. From our partners. We want
this both parties to be in love and both parties to enjoy this act. And in the Sharia encourages us
		

			to make it enjoyable between both parties. It's an act of divider. But that's the ideal. If we don't
have that, at the very least we should not be using intimacy as a form of punishment. intimacy is,
as I said, an obligation on both parties. And you do your obligation, whether you like it or not.
Now let's turn the tables. I always say this sisters you in a terrible mood, and you are the one
that has been bad your husband, he was the right thing you were wrong. And you are in a horrible
mood, and you are just a difficult person to be with. And he's not happy. Does that give him
permission to say, you know what, for this month, I'm not going to pay in Africa, this past month,
		

			you've been a terrible partner a terrible life, I'm not going to pay the rent, I'm not going to buy
food. So I'm going to stop doing my obligations, because I'm not happy with you. We say no, your
husband, whether you are happy, not happy, you do your obligation. It's like a job, whether you're
happy or not happy with your boss, you do your job. And if you can't do the job, well, that's a
different discussion, then you know, then we need to talk about separation. But so long as you are
her husband, you are the wife, you are the husband, both of you have obligations, and you fulfill
those obligations. Ideally, you know, you both enjoy it, or you do those obligations. You know,
		

			because it is compulsory, it is compulsory on you. Also this Hadeeth goes both ways that if husband
and it's very rare, it goes this way. But of course it's possible in certain situations where wife
calls husband to the wife is in the mood wife is feeling desires, and husband says no. And we know
behind on law, if the husband does not please his wife physically, then he is committing a sin if
he's doing this deliberately. And if he's unwilling or unable, he can even divorce him on this
account. So it goes both ways. It goes both ways. If a husband is using * as a means to
punish his wife, withholding * to punish his wife, then he too is going to be the one that
		

			is cursed. And what I love about this Heidi something which is not apparent, but which makes things
even more clear, are we know it is the hack of the husband to be intimate with his wife, the Heidi
does not say to him, okay, I met Fatima doesn't want to be intimate with you. So take your hook, go
and force yourself upon her. Rather it says lever, lever later be you know, the angels will curse.
You go and sleep. You go and sleep and you you feel angry, but you can't take it out on her. You
can't physically force her. So this Heidi basically tells you that if you have an argument and one
spouse does not want to fulfill the obligation, one spouse doesn't want to do their duty, then you
		

			know what you make suffer and that person will have to answer for that. But Allah subhanho wa Taala
and in sha Allah things will get better in the morning. Now, you know, as I said, the intimacy
within Islam is a very long discussion and it's best suited under a a marriage topic. Ultimately
remember this is something which Allah has made halaal between husband and wife, and it's an act of
worship. It's an act of worship, and You know in reality, and one of the strangest acts of worship
even the Sahaba as we said they got surprised when they said a lovely wouldn't be fulfilling my
desire and the prophecy is if you fulfilled your desire in harmony alone
		

			So surely you should reward you for doing it in a way. So whenever you fulfill an obligation you
pay, you pay the rent, husbands, you feed your wife, you, you are good to your husband, you take
care of him when he's sick. You look after your kids, when you're intimate with each other. Yes,
you're doing it for one another. Yes, you're doing it because you love each other. But more
importantly than that, you're doing it for the sake of Allah, you actually being intimate with your
husband, I think about it like this, you are being intimate with your husband, even though you upset
with him for the sake of Allah, Allah rather, please Allah, by making you happy, because this is
		

			your hook, you have done your part, you know, soccer and do all these things. Yes, I'm not happy
with you at this moment in time. But I will, you know, I will do my obligation so that I'm clear
with Allah. And that's really that's really how things should be done in marriage both ways. But of
course, no one should continuously do this. If we get to a point where it's undesirable for both
parties, then it could be a problem. And then inshallah both parties should really look at the
marriage because this is the one thing that's one area which Allah has made halaal between the two
of you that we hope to find enjoyment and blessing in that mela bliss as with regards to our
		

			spouses, well, hamdulillah very controversial Hadith, the prophets of Salaam, the halitosis, once
Allah apostle, he went out to the masala, meaning he went out to where they were performing each
other. And then he passed by the women. And he said to them, a women give charity, as I have seen
that the majority of the people of janam are women were women. I mean, one of the ladies asked, Why
is it so useful? Why are we in Ghana? Why are we the majority of the people of Ghana? So he replied,
because you curse frequently, and you are ungrateful to your husband's. And he continues, I have not
seen any who is imperfect in thinking and in religious commitment, but at the same time, is able to
		

			rob the sensibility of a sensible man, except one of you. They said, How do you mean why are we
lacking in our religious commitment? And our reason why I'm thinking the prophets of Salaam
responded, it is because the testimony of a woman is half of that of a man is not the answer. The
question is not that the testimony of a woman like half the testimony of a man, so she said, Yes.
He's also convinced that is how you are lacking within reason. And he continued, and when she means
through it, does she not refrain from praying and fasting? So she said, yes, they said, Yes. So he
said, that is how she is deficient or lacking in religious commitment, Hadith or Buhari, so a very,
		

			very controversial Hadith. In fact, some women might look at this hadith and take offense. Some
people look at this hadith and say, You prophecies that the majority of women janam they're
deficient or inferior from a religious commitment, and from a intellectual capacity, a way of
thinking how do we understand this highly symbolic, so it's not a weak Hadith, the prophet also
known as Muslims, we obviously believe our soul, he will never say something purely to her to offend
people, but he says something with wisdom and understanding and there's a reason for us to think
about. So again, context is always important. And listen, I'd like you to learn when you find a
		

			hadith or an ayah. That sounds strange that sounds out of place. Usually, it's out of context. You
need to look at what what happened before the problem Salaam is coming for an eat salad This is an
eat football. Side note I always tease ISIS final imagine I give it goodbye like this. I would not
be the Imam again. There'll be a Genesis Allah on the day of eight if I were to give a football like
this, but the problem is giving a very slick football on eat. Why? Why is he doing that? understand
the context. We heard, if you remember back, say Norma explained how things were with the women that
in Makkah, we had women that were very submissive, that were very caring and very, you know,
		

			obedient, if we will to their husbands, their husbands laid and the women followed what happened
during law. Then we came to Medina. And we found that the women here were in charge 100 in profit
didn't change that. He found the women that were in charge of the men and the men basically followed
the women, and no one complained about this. But at times, at times, these women could overpower
their husbands and get them to do wrong things. And they complained about their husbands in a way
which was unbefitting was not the right. So in another Hadith that explains that when the Prophet
disease, mew are ungrateful to husbands. And he explained, how are they ungrateful that the husband
		

			will do everything that they want. He's such a good husband, he supports them, he loves them, He
cares for them. And the one day he slips up, she says to him, I haven't seen anything good in you,
you are the worst husband, you're the most useless as well. He just, he just slipped up once. And
she completely, you know, disregards everything that he had done. So this is the ungratefulness he's
speaking about. So let's analyze it. The professor lamb comes there and he says to the ladies,
Listen, I've seen in you a quality that can potentially send you to jahannam and in fact, many of
the people inhabitants of Ghana are women. So now the question is, are the majority of the people of
		

			German women have misheard each other
		

			Here, that's the case, then Imam nawawi, one of the great scholars of Islam, he explains or in fact,
Abu huraira even explains that. Similarly, the majority of the people of Jan now also women, why?
because women are more than men, we know that the Hadith tells us that women will exceed men in
number. So both the inhabitants of Jenna and jahannam will be dominated by women, while hamdulillah.
Also, the scholars have made a technical observation, you know, they said janome is that one place
where the numbers will fluctuate, Jana, once you're in, you're never gonna get out and you will live
forever janam people will go in and some will be taken out, some will be taken out, the ratio of
		

			people goes up and down. And what the Prophet is saying, therefore, is saying that he has seen that
meaning basically what he's saying, sisters, there are a lot of sisters in Ghana, and they're not in
Ghana, for the things that you might think in terms of murder, stealing, or rather, you find that
the women are in janam, because of something which is far more common, or something which we take
lightly, then one of these wise women and spotlights that have been offended. And this really shows
us how we should be. The lady asked now what are we doing that, you know, earns that we entertain
them, you'd find other Heidi who the column is a bit sick with the mean. And he says the worst of
		

			you is this. And the one that does this in that net, particularly to the main that main who do these
things, they are in trouble men that are not kind men that don't have a hammer in their heart. There
are many Hadith about about main things that men are usually guilty with. Of course, remember Islam
speaks in generalities, you find a man that is perhaps more softer than the wife you find a woman
that is more knowledgeable than a husband, this is normal. But the professor speaks here in
generalities and saying, so the lady asked now what are we doing? So he says to them, you curse
frequently, you back bite you use maybe when you speak with one, when you get upset, you become
		

			abusive in your language. And you are ungrateful to your husbands as we see that she disregards
whatever good that you're doing side note here, or whatever husband is the one that curses more than
the wife What if the husband is ungrateful to the wife, then similarly, he's doing that same sin.
Remember, the properties are attaching a place in jam to Agenda because you're women, you're going
to join me saying no, you women, many of you women are doing this sin. And that is what's leading
them mainly are ministers you're doing they're leading you to jahannam. And they might be mean that
they are the ones that cause the wives, there might be the one that is ungrateful to all the work
		

			that she does. She wakes up early in the morning, she takes care of everyone. She works a full time
job and she comes home and she's seen for everything in the house. And the husband doesn't do
anything to assist her. And he doesn't really speak to then he's also guilty of the sin and the fool
is also liable. Allah protect us. We're going to Jana, to be careful on that. Then the prophecy
speaks about the sting of deficiency. What is meant here? The Prophet is saying, Oh sisters, many of
you may not remember the women was specifically the women of the ansara, the women of Medina, and
they were the ones that overpowered their husbands and a times religiously they overpowered them not
		

			to do that, I think so the husband is on the right track. And his idea is to be right. And then his
woman overpowers him. She doesn't know any better. She overpowers him because she's more dominant
than him. And he ends up committing a mistake. So the Prophet is saying, soldier send them or
sisters, that I've not seen anything to you women specifically, never before it's like singing out
of amazement. I haven't seen women like you that you have men. Some of you have men, some of you is
not saying all of you. Some of you have men that are sensible. Yet you're able to rob him of his
sensibilities, even though you don't know any better than him in certain regards. Even though you
		

			have shortcomings, you overpower him even though he knows better in certain regards. Again, this is
specific, you might find that the opposite is true. You find the husband that he misleads his wife,
the woman knows better, but he overpowers Hmm. So this Hadeeth as we say, it was a specific Heidi in
a specific situation. Instead of being upset rather we say we should avoid being ungrateful to our
spouses, we should avoid convincing our spouses to do the wrong thing when they are doing something
correct. And we should analyze what begins look at the beginning. He says give charity because this
will fix the problem that yes, we have problems this way not the best husbands the best wives. So
		

			give sadaqa give charity, this will be your this will be your cafaro This will be the thing that
protects you. I think one more that is left here before we we conclude. People have mentioned quite
a lot this Shetty of us It says that if you touch a woman that you become dirty, you must stick with
Oh, of course, as we know that this is only a view within the Shafi method. And really interesting
to ask a very interesting question because we are in Cape Town we are Shafi country, most people you
are Shafi and you go to different parts of the world and you find that there is no issue. In fact
when you go to Mecca, and you Intel off and they say if we touch your wife's hand, usually in Cape
		

			Town to break you will do but if you come to Makkah, you make a hanafy will do
		

			And then you will do is more powerful it's not going to be broken. So the hanafuda does not get
broken when touching omens and soprano. What does this mean? Look at the ayah Allah Subhana Allah
says, Yeah, you're letting me know you those of you who believe that if you come to Posada, then you
first have to be in the state of purity. So take will always explaining taikoo and if you are in the
state of Genova, meaning you either in your height or you had sexual *, then purify
yourself, meaning take muscle, but if you're ill on a journey, or one of you comes from a place of
relieving himself, or you have touched a woman, and you don't find a water, then perform the thing
		

			yourself with sand. So let's break the iron down. Allah says if you perform Salah you need to be in
a state of taharah to do that, you take Moodle, but if you are in a major impurity you came from,
you are in Geneva, or Subhanallah you need to take Whoo, but you don't have water and you came from
the toilet or you've touched a woman and you don't have water then perform you send. So this is how
you touch a woman and then you are dirty. As Pamela What does this mean and that is we we the
scholars have different year touched a woman Ola mustermann Nyssa was touched a woman mean Imam
Shafi translate touch as touch if you physically touch her, you need to perform or do the other
		

			modality, they have seen touch here means * if you have come in contact, meaning sexually,
if you had * with her, then you can perform a hustle. And if you don't have voted and you
perform to your mom, so that is within the mme and in reality, it is safer Of course to perform will
do. But the vast majority of the scholars and this is the most correct view that if you were to
touch a woman accidentally, then without a doubt, you will lose or broken. We have many Hadith of
the prophets of Salaam inshallah, as we said before he would move his feet out of the way, you know,
he would be he would, he would say he would kiss me on the lips and then he would go out and perform
		

			salah and he wouldn't take long. So he left the house and before he leaves he kisses me on the
mouth. And then he performed Salam salam wa sallam. So of course, touching a woman even accidentally
does not break you will do this is the majority of the view of the scholars. But to those who say up
Why would it even make you dirty by touching a swan Allah even in the shaft, if you will Shafi
Remember, the woman also has to take with you that her wood was also damaged not just the man, it
goes both ways. But if they are intimate together, husband and wife has to perform so so the issue
is not because she's a woman that she's dirty. In fact, our Sharia we know how many times I've
		

			mentioned this Hadith, the prophet salam, even in the height of a woman, she was menstruating, and
he will put his head in the lap of his wives and he will recite Quran. And once I shadowed Yolanda,
she had her height and the prophecies to have Can you please get something from me from the motion?
Should I have my head I can't imagine so he said you don't have hate hate is not in your hand. So
meaning you can stick your hand in and pull it out nothing wrong, your hand is clean. It's just this
area when you're in your head should not be in the machine. And it goes similarly a man who has
Genova so he had * he hasn't for muscle, he also shouldn't be in the masjid. So it's an
		

			issue about transferring any nyjah we should not we should not transfer Nigeria to a place of
purity, which is a Masjid without looking at the gender if it's male or female. So these are some of
the interesting questions that are raised and our hamdulillah as we can see our Sharia you know, we
have the answers for them. And if you have any other further questions, please send them to me. As I
said our next episode Episode 5100 Allah will be our final episode in the series. I hope to get some
feedback from you, Zack Allah Hi, thank you so much. Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh