Muhammad West – Gender Series #5 – Sexual liberation

			I was relying on sheetala regimes for Amanda Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was
salam, ala Ashraf and mousseline said now Mohammed and while early he was happy he married my
beloved brothers and sisters as salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Alhamdulillah Ramadan I
mean always forever We begin with a praise and thanks of Allah subhanaw taala okay to allow aloha
you know Allah will be a witness that none has the right of worship besides Allah subhanaw taala and
we send our love our greetings and salutations our beloved Nabina Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, to his pious and to family to his Sahaba and his community until the end of time Allah
		

			subhanaw taala blessed us to be upon the student of Nabil Mohammed Al Salam in this life and in his
companionship in the meanwhile, hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah. Before we begin, we just remind our
listeners that Alhamdulillah Today is the second Juma that Masjid where Islam will be open, and we
have sent out a link that you may register to join us for Juma we are so limited due to space and
taking the utmost precautions with the pandemic to ensure the well being of families. And so
Alhamdulillah we will have a very brief Juma program in the masjid with a very short English
lecture. This of course is the primary English by on Friday. And you may see of course via WhatsApp
		

			Alhamdulillah getting back to our series on gender related matters. And for the past month or so
we've been discussing some of the more awkward or the more contentious issues around gender within
Islam and and some of the things that we see in our community today. And other very, you know,
awkward kind of discussion but hamdulillah there is no higher in the deen we know that when it comes
to learning and knowledge that there is no such thing as you know, matters that are unspoken about,
like 100 of the deen is is the if a way of life, and therefore matters that pertain to our life must
be discussed. So today we're going to talk a little bit some accelerated stuff, we're going to talk
		

			about six, and we're going to talk about in the context of gender issues, the female sexual
liberation, and modesty. And what this really refers to, as I mentioned a few weeks back, that in
the western context, feminism, or the feminist movement, which is a movement that is looking to give
women her rights to give her, you know, what belongs to her, went through a number of phases. And
the first phase of the first wave of the feminist movement happened, you know, towards the end of
the 19th century, around 1880 or 1860 or so, we the rights of women in the western context in the
UK, and in Europe, to allow her to have equal rights in in terms of the law, that she could own her
		

			property that she could, you know, divorce her husband, things like that which were not allowed for
women in Europe, there was this movement by the ladies of Europe to get those rights so that she may
vote that she may be able to attend university. And you know, we said from an Islamic perspective,
all those rights were given to our sisters, you know, 1500 years ago in Arabia, it's amazing to
think that Europe took 1000 years, more than 1000 years to really catch up to what the Sharia has
enshrined for our sisters, then the second wave of the feminist movement happened, you know, about
70 years after that, during the 1960s, the 1970s, which was more a cultural kind of revolution, it
		

			was about amongst the things that that that women stood up for, was for her sexual liberation, that
she should be allowed the same freedoms, to experience and enjoy six and to express her sexuality in
a way similar to that of men. And again, to understand the context of us, six, and in Europe, in
particular, this is European Western ideology, that six was for a very long time seen as a bad thing
by the church, but in fact, celibacy, but to never get married and to never be sexually active was
seen as something which is good. And that, you know, to engage in sexual activities, even within
marriage was not ideal, that is better to be celibate. And this is sort of the this was the
		

			background of the view of * within within the European context of course, and this kind of thing
is not tenable. This is not in line with the way our last panel has created us. And so as as you
know, as societies progressed, there was a huge disconnect between what was okay for men and what
was okay for women and women they fought rose up and said, We also want our sexual rights to be
preserved. And so you'd find that many societies looked at women that she should not be some much
that desire six that enjoy six they should one six, you will find even communities across the world
they will practice a female genital mutilation we will remove portions of the of the females six
		

			organs so that she could not ever enjoy six that for her to eat to one six was seen as something bad
that you are not a lady if you enjoyed or desired *. And if you found this in the western context
as double standards. We were young boys and men were praised for the conquest. You know, the more
sexual partners you had, you know, you got high five, then you got fist bump, wearing all these
conquests and you were Casanova or player, the more the more women that you slept with, but for a
woman that if she wanted to enjoy *, that if she looked to experience and explore her sexuality,
then she was you know, deemed certain terms which we can't use on an on in a Friday.
		

			And, but we know what that means. And so therefore, you had this uprising that said, women are
sexual beings, but it's part of our nature that she should also want to be sexually fulfilled, and
that she has the right to sexual fulfillment. And then it went a step further and said, and
therefore, and therefore, women can express a sexuality in whichever way she wants, she should be
free to basically do as she pleases, it's her body, and she may go forward and do as she wants. And
so this is where we have again, you know, it's one extreme, on the one side, you had an extreme
where women were denied sexual fulfillment or rights, you know, as a human being, in terms of
		

			fulfilling her sexual desires. And then you had the other extreme, which said, Well, now will give
complete liberation that you may do and, you know, enjoy as you want. And one, you know, one scholar
beautifully makes this analogy, he says, on one side, you know, think of another, you know, think of
hunger, as a person to say that it's wrong to be hungry, and it's wrong to eat, of course, that is
not, you know, that is that is backward thinking. And so then to say, yes, you have the right to be
hungry, and you have the right to satisfy your hunger. So now go forward and eat whatever you want,
wherever you want, whatever you want, you know, this, again, is a counter extreme. And so this is
		

			really the context of the liberation movement for sexual liberation of sisters. And this happened,
you know, as I said, in the 1970s, so we have about 50 years, to see what has become of this
movement. And so of course, we now in 2020, know that we live in a very open and very sexualized
society, a hyper sexualized society all around us, you know, * has become a part and parcel of the
things that we see on TV, what you listen to, it is part of it sort of ingrained in society all
around us, you know, * is very much part of society. And we find that these arise, obviously, with
this was arise in the culture of having casual *, you'd have to wait until you got married to have
		

			*, that you could have multiple sexual partners. In one way of looking at it, as you know, what
men were doing in Western societies, women then sort of followed the trend and said, We will also
explore and experience what men were doing. And so you had a, you know, a rise in casual * with
that, of course, many negative things have happened, we have a high percentage of marriages that
have failed, we have a rise in *, you know, you know, never before if you if you really,
we just need to look at our grandparents, what our grandparents were exposed to, and what we are
exposed to, we can really see within a very short period of time, how society has changed because of
		

			this, of this movement. And also, it must remain him the issues that we find in terms of gender
based violence, in terms of *, these things have increased during this exact same period. And
therefore there must be a correlation between that. And so looking at at this movement, and looking
at the way in which society has responded to the liberation of female sexuality, we need to ask
certain very important questions. And we ask, you know, has this really served our sisters for the
better or for the worse? Is, was this a good thing for overall for our sisters or not? Are women
more objectified now as as an object, as you see more in terms of being sexualized? Now, in 2020,
		

			versus say, in 1950? Do women feel safer walking in the street now then in 1950, for example? And
are we happy with, with what we see being taught to our daughters in terms of, as you know, I have a
daughter, who is Allah protect her and you know, all our daughters, she's, you know, on the verge of
Miriam in a few years or so might become a Caliph. And so you? What is the messaging that we find,
you know, television, even cartoons? Subhanallah, let's not even go into like music and those kinds
of things, find a lot. What is the messaging that is being taught to young girls and daughters,
about her body? About six? What is social media promoting? And we need to ask, Are these the things
		

			that we really want our daughters exposed to? And are we happy with the direction of society if so
much has changed, if we look at where things were, you know, you know, in the time of our
grandparents, were with things being the time or grandkids and that is a very scary thought and how
quickly society is changing in a certain direction. And so, you know, there's been an uproar,
because of a release of a movie on Netflix won't talk about that, but a shaky acid cardi, gave a
nice post on Facebook about about this thing, and he says, just around female sexual sexuality and
the liberation of the female expression of sexuality. He says, You can't have it both ways. You
		

			can't promote sexuality, *, licentiousness, and embrace it as a manifestation of humanism,
meaning you can't, you know, celebrate immorality in one way, and then turn around and lament when
our daughters are young girls, you know, they emulate those ideas, you cannot say it's okay, that
you know, for, for, for for a young woman in her 20s to dress a certain way to act in a certain way,
but then feel offended when a 15 year old wants to emulate those values. And so this is this is sort
of the contradiction that we find within Western society and something for us to, to think about.
And it's not just from an Islamic perspective. I was reading you know, there's a website called
		

			psychology
		

			Which is a, you know, a very popular website in the US around psychology. And this issue of female
sexualization was was discussed and is a doctor, Dr. Nigel Baba, he talks about how the thing has
changed and how women have begun began expressing sexuality and become more, you know, very
different to previous generations, you know, the women of today versus our grandmothers are very
different. And he wanted to, and he looked at it, you know, overall has this been something positive
or negative for for for women, and he says, from an evolutionary standpoint, and of course,
psychologists, they obviously look at things that we are evolved from animals, of course, we reject
		

			that notion. And he says that if you look at nature, the male species, whether it's the lion, or
whatever it might be, they may not all about quantity, they want to spread, you know, the DNA with
as many females as possible. They all about having as many sexual partners as possible. This is,
this is almost male DNA from from a biological standpoint. Whereas, as a generalization, of course,
from a biological standpoint, the female is more discerning, she chooses her mate, she looks for the
most deserving companion, and therefore she's very specific in terms of who she will mate with. And
so, you know, the psychologist says that this was the theme for human females as well that, you
		

			know, men by the nature, were always looking to have multiple partners, but women were the ones that
obviously put the brakes and women are the one that said, you know, like, if you want to be a
partner with me, then you should really man up, and that you should be deserving of my
companionship. And so he says, Then, along came the female sexual liberation, where women began
began to act more like men in having more casual * to be more open about sexuality to be a not so
discerning as to who she, you know, has her sexual fulfillment with. And so he asked, Did this
really serve women are the serve men, and if you look at it, the US men now have a lot more *,
		

			they have a lot more variety in *, they have a lot more casual * without having to make any form
of emotional long term commitments, you know, So was this really a better for men long term, Oh,
beautiful women. And he just brings us a very interesting image, again, from a non Muslim
psychological standpoint to ask is the current playing fields really serving our sisters? Or is it
really playing into the hands of again, masculinity, and playing in the hands of, you know, men
having more conquests and having more * and not having to mature enough and to, and to commit long
term for an emotional relationship, it's more about the enjoyment and this is a very important point
		

			to to put. And so, ultimately, we find Western society is struggling with two extremes. On the one
hand,
		

			women will look at as something which is women should be almost sexually inert, she should not have
any desires, she should not even one six, or enjoy six. And for her to even even in a marriage, she
should not be looking for six, she is sort of be should be above that. And if she didn't want those
things, when she was a bad woman, and she was a model, this was the the view basically before the
female sexual liberation, then after that, we found we've gone to another extreme where it was hyper
sexualization that, yes, as a woman, you have your desires, and it's good to have those desires. So
now, embrace those desires and express those desires, to the fullest extent, whatever you want to
		

			do, is okay, there's no such thing as right and wrong, so long as you are happy, it is permissible.
And that's the other extreme, and we living in that extreme now from a Western context. So what does
Islam say about this? Where does Islam come in? And what is Islam his take on, on six, and
specifically, the sexuality of female Islam as always, panel and the more you study Islam, and for
myself, you know, the more you look into it, it is really as it was relevant 1400 years ago, in the
deserts of Arabia, it is so relevant to the world that we live in today. The guidance that Islam
preaches is so relevant for us 2020 I mean, we just need to needed to look at what was being
		

			promoted in terms of protecting yourself from a COVID pandemic. So many of those guidelines, which
the top scientists have punted to do, are things which are you find very clear in the Sharia,
washing your hands before you eat, washing your hands before, you know, five times a day, keeping
social distancing, if you're sick, avoiding people, all those things heinola are what is clear in
the English area. And will this issue again, you know, six is a part of our life, it's a major part
of our life. And of course, there will be guidance from Allah subhanaw taala and who better to give
guidance when the one who made us our maker our Creator, and he would know what is best for us as
		

			individuals and for us as a society. So when it comes to six, Islam is very pragmatic and has a very
wise attitude towards *. Islam not only acknowledges that both men and women are sexual beings
that you know they have this drive allows one to put that drive in them. You don't know he
acknowledges that. Yes, you have this inside of you. It celebrates its panel. Islam embraces Islam
says that it is something good and Islam does not look at, you know, having this as something
negative in your world.
		

			talking more about the mini mini Hadeeth. And I add about about six and about fulfilling your sexual
desires, but in a mature and responsible manner. And so Islam gives you Islamic knowledge as Allah
has given you this drive, Allah wants you to follow that drive, Allah subhanaw taala has reposted
that, because he put that inside of you, you have a right to be fulfilled sexually, you have a right
as a man as a woman, to enjoy yourself sexually. But with that, right comes a responsibility. And
always I think this is where the you know, this is the crux of the difference between Western
theology, Western ideology, and Islamic theology, that the rights that the wisdom, you know, wisdom,
		

			movements have come to give them the freedom of expression, the freedom of, of movement, the freedom
of, you know, sexual freedom, all these freedoms, Islam, Islam confirms these freedoms on the
individual. But at the same time, Islam wants you to practice those, those freedoms with
responsibility. Just because you have the right to speak doesn't mean you need to say what is on
your mind, that this is what Islam is saying, We're not censoring you, Islam is not saying that you
should be, you should be stopped from speaking. But Islam says you have the freedom to express
yourself, but it should be in a constructive way. And if you have nothing good to say, then it's
		

			better for you to remain silent. And so along with freedom comes the maturity in how to use those
freedoms. And that is what Islam really is attitude towards these kind of issues. And so it balances
between freedom and the mature usage of this freedom, how to use it, and to practice those freedoms
in a constructive manner. And so it's now says, both for men and women, before you are married, that
you should remain chaste, and you should be patient. And then once you are mature enough to be
married, once you have a license to practice this, then you can enjoy it to the full extent, both
for men and women, and it is your right to enjoy yourself and spinal lock. Before we go before we
		

			even get a car. You know, you have to go through a process, how to drive How are you mature enough
responsible enough before you get a license to use a vehicle, this thing you know, you know, sexual
gratification is such a powerful thing. It's such a powerful part of our of our life, and therefore
to just give, you know, young teenagers the freedom to do as they want without explaining the
repercussions and having the maturity to practice it. You know, this is it is detrimental for our
society. And so if we look at from an Islamic perspective, when we talk about *, and we talk about
modesty and we talk about enjoying yourself and all these things, you know what is wonderful and we
		

			look at one if example two is Surah Noor surah Noor verse 30 and 31. Allah subhana wa Taala speaks
to both men and women. Well, I encouraged society to be a modest and model society, it does not put
the burden on women that are women, you are the ones that that you know, if you you need to behave
yourselves and you need to be modest, and men you can do as you please know, Islam says both men and
women, you have a responsibility to be modest, you have a responsibility to be mature in how you
express your sexuality and how you practice your sexuality. And both sides are held accountable.
What is um, what is beautiful Islam and the Sharia. It does not there is no a double standards
		

			between men and women, you know that men can do one thing and women can women are limited in some
way. Both are seen, you know, equally in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala. The shady eye gives the
burden on both the punishment if one transgresses, if a man transgressors or woman throws is equal,
there is no extra punishment on the man or the woman. And this is why Islam is very mature and wise
in that way. So Allah subhanaw taala. In fact, he begins when he talks about this issue about
modesty and about protecting the models of society. Allah begins with the man line. I said this many
times before that yes, Islam speaks to men and women. But many and most of the times the language is
		

			first directed to mean that you need to lead by example, first and foremost. And so Allah says to up
to us as men, tell the believing men, that will be the first thing to lower the gaze. So before we
talk about the sister, how she's dressed, and we talk about what we find on the TV and what's on the
websites and society in at home. Before we address all those issues. The first thing Allah says to
you and me or brothers, lower your gaze, be careful what you're watching. Be careful what you're
logging onto, on which websites when a lady is walking down the road, whatever she is weighing,
that's a difference, you know, that's between her and Allah. But for you and me, lower your gaze be
		

			modest in just looking at the things you look at. So if this is just looking at the eyes to be
modest, then of course, the rest of the body body should be modest. And then Allah Subhana Allah
continues, insists and protect and tell the believing men to lower the gaze and to protect the
private parts from committing any illegal sexual acts. That is pure for them. It is better for you,
oh one is better for me. It is better for you, it will lead to happiness in the dunya and the earth
era. It will put Baraka in our marriages, it will be Baraka in our relationships, young people
before you are married. This is best for you long term. And then Allah says, Verily, Allah is a way
		

			of what they do. Allah knows you might you and I might be alone. 12 o'clock the night
		

			drowsy sleeping, what we log on to Allah is very aware of, of our search history and where we are
and what we're looking at. To Be very careful Los Angeles is what you what you do. And then Allah in
the mixed is and tell the believing women to reduce have the vision and God the private parts as
well. She should also lower her gaze he should also be modest. Now what is beautiful about this is
Islam is yet is acknowledging that a woman also has a sixth drive. She also wants to look at things
she also if someone you know that attractive guy walks in, and you know these also desire something
stirs inside of our heart. That is normal. Although Spangler says it is normal to feel that way. But
		

			it is but how you explicit lower your gaze be modest, look away, diminish your your desire as best
you can, and end some of the vision and God and be chaste and God your private parts. And then Allah
says to the sisters, as well as an added emphasis here to you, and she should not expose her beauty
adornments except that which is naturally unnecessarily appears they have and to wrap her head
covering over her chest and it continues about hijab, we assist Allah says there is a special
requirement for your own sisters, for you to dress in a manner which God's not only your chastity,
but hides your beauty except from your husband and certain specific people of your family. Allah
		

			then continues that should have a head covering a hormone that which covers her he should be brought
down and close her her chest lets you not be exposed publicly. So Islam begins the word mean so many
things to talk about this the set of idea. The first thing I'll address is modesty with the men
first guys how you talk how you look what you watch, you know, how you interact with women, you are
the ones that first and foremost need to be modest society really, how you are what we see the
problems in society. In many cases, it is the way in which men treat women and the way men are
objectifying our sisters, this is this is the beginning of the discussion. And that should be you
		

			know, irrespective what women are doing, or how they are acting us we as men have to set the
example. And then Allah says as to women, you also have a responsibility. Yes, you also have a
section six thrive, be mature, be modest in that guarded, protect your beauty, except and then Allah
gives the exceptions How can we express our sexuality in a mature and responsible manner. And so
from this, we see very clearly that from a female standpoint, Islam acknowledges our a woman and a
female sexuality. And the more specific Heidi threatened the Halloween party,
		

			or the Alana's Companion of the Prophet, the son of a female Sahaba, she came to the Messenger of
Allah Salah Salem, and she said, O Messenger of Allah, surely Allah is not shy of the truth. He
says, I'm coming to ask you a very awkward question, something which makes me feel shy against a
panel of 1400 years ago, a lady is coming to Austin, Abby's fundamental question about six, we might
even think that our grandmothers did not have the freedom to speak to the Imam, you know, 50 years
ago to talk about *. And maybe there's a problem in the way in which we address things which are
not meant to be taboo, things which are not meant to be hidden. We hide and things we should be
		

			hidden. We, you know, it's open and exposed. And so yeah, you have a companion. So habia saying
that, I'm going to ask you a very, very awkward question. But Allah is not shy of the truth when it
comes to the truth. Allah is very open about it. And so she says, Is it necessary for a woman to
take a hustle after she has a *? So she had a dream, you know, the sister is dreaming about
whoever or whatever, Mashallah. And she has a weak dream as men have. And so the messenger, so she
said, Messiah who saw like mink whistle. And so the professor says, Yes, if you noticed that there
was a discharge, then she should also now Salama, the wife of the Nagisa Salaam is worth. So this
		

			lady is asking them this question. And Salah Mother, why haven't I missed you sitting there? And she
is so shy at this question that she covered the face out of shyness, and she says, oh, there's a
woman really discharged as a woman really do these things? Can you know, is it almost a is it lady
like to even have these kinds of things? And so the resources may your right hand be, be put in
that? It's an expression of astonishment, amazement, of course, she said. He says, of course, a
woman has this urge. And a woman experiences these things and a woman, you know, she discharges as
well, and she has a sexual climax. And then he says to her, you know, how then does children
		

			resemble the mother meaning that this act of sexual of * and *, it takes two parts, you
know, both male and female, and the woman is as much a part of this as as the man and so very
explicitly this hadith is one point is to teach that we who saw both men and women who saw when we
have * or when we have these kind of dreams, but what is deeper than that? It is an
acknowledgment of a woman having a * drive. And then a resume is telling another woman that says
it's really ladylike for men to experience these things. He said, Of course it's normal. I mean, she
shouldn't experience this thing. It's Oh,
		

			only natural for her to experience that, you know, had this been, you know, maybe even in enough
different culture it might have been sick to this lady, are you what, what are you thinking about?
How can you think about this even thinks of him as a father, a daughter comes to the dad and say,
you know, I had this dream, many of our fathers might become offended and say, you know, you know,
what are you watching? And what are you looking at? How can you feel this way? So Han Allah, Islam
is not shy about the truth, and that we have been placed by Allah subhanaw taala is not something
bad. It's not something evil. It's not something immoral, it is something good. But of course, with
		

			that comes a responsibility and a maturity in how to how to embrace that Islams view on six, as we
said, is so forward thinking. It is so amazing, but it even calls it an act of evader it's panela
husband and wife when they are enjoying themselves in that act. It is something which Allah is not
only if you're not only allow it, Allah actually rewards them. As I said many times you find this
that only asked when the whole night in Nevada is not just the hydro provinces this there are many
forms of Nevada you can do all through the night. We know that very famous Heidi within obeso salam
says to the poor Sahaba let's say the arrows Allah How can I give charity I don't have enough money
		

			to give charity. So he said every test every Subhana Allah is a charity these charity you get you
get reward of charity. And every time Kabir Allahu Akbar is a charity every time Hamid Al
Hamdulillah is a charity every diallyl every law, Allah Allah is a charity. He is a charity enjoying
good that when you give good advice, it's a charity. forbidding evil is a charity. Smiling is a
charity, and even in the sexual act of each other is a charity and Sahaba got so shocked. They said,
Are you saying yeah, that if I perform my sexual desires, I will be rewarded for that. And so the
prophets of Salaam says, of course, you'll be rewarded for that. Do you not see that were you to act
		

			in an unlawful way if you were to use if you were to express your sexual desires in a haraam way
that you should be punished and sent for that? So we said yes, of course, I was gonna punish us for
that I will be sinful in that regard. And so he said, certainly, if you do it in the correct way,
you must be rewarded. And so how forward thinking how mature is from the Sharia vet says that you
have this desire, that if you fulfill it in the correct way, then you will be rewarded. And this is
not, you know, it's not only about about six and desire or some sexual nature, it goes for any other
of the human needs, what you want to eat, that to be hungry, as we said, it's fine. Eating is a good
		

			thing, so long as you eat that which is halal and which is good for you. And then Allah subhanaw
taala will, in fact, reward you for that we go a step further, when Sharia doesn't only say that
it's okay for the ladies to have the sexual desire, and that husband and wife, if they engage in
this in this act, they usually would need the Sharia goes even so much further that it really, you
would not even have found in Western society up until, you know, even even today, it's something
which Western society has not fully grappled with. And it's about the sexual fulfillment of a wife,
you know, inside a marriage, that Islam says that not only do you have this desire, and you have the
		

			you have the freedom to to enjoy it within a marriage, Islam then goes further into you have the
right you must be fulfilled sexually within your marriage, or otherwise your marriage is deficient.
It is grounds for, in fact, divorce the professor solemn mentions in a hadith He was later on, we're
even after these, that the promises are lumpy upon in said, Do, he says to the main, the prophet was
talking to the male sahabas. And he says to them, do not have * with your wife or with her
until she is aroused. As you are, list, you finish before she does Han Allah, the prophet is telling
the husbands, you should not only think about your own enjoyment, that women also have the right to
		

			enjoy themselves. Women also need to experience as much fun as you have. And yes, you know, the
biology of a man is different to a woman. You know, for men, it's more of a sprint, you know, the
sooner you can get done, he's finished, and you know, you know, explosions over for the lady, it's a
lot more of a slow cook, and it's more of a marathon. And so the province of is acknowledging this,
that the you know, men and women are different in terms of how they reach a climax. And so he says
to the Sahaba, that you should not be, you know, into your wife until she is fully aroused as much
as you are until she's on the brink, then you should then into your wife, and so that you don't
		

			finish before she does. And the narrator said, so the professor lamb, it's beautifully. Part of it
is the nobbies was giving advice to a man because clearly this was a problem. You know, his wife was
not being fulfilled, and he was finishing before her. And so we don't mention his name, you know, so
it's just the narrator, or whoever he was, we keep him keep him hidden. And so he is the man even
asked, Are you telling me this? Are you extracting me I need to do this with my wife. And so then he
says, Yes, I'm telling you, you should kiss her and touch her until you see she's fully aroused as
you are. Then you must have * with her. You know, you know, foreplay for her is what is
		

			very important for her for you. You just want to get to the finish line for her. The abuser is
telling you that your mom is instructing you on
		

			As instructs you how to make Sala as instructs you how to recite the Quran is instructing you and
guiding you how to please your wife.
		

			Another Hadith we chose this unnecessary money with a famous hobby he said, the prophets of Allah
mentioned that when a man has * with his wife, let him pay proper attention to her meaning
let him acknowledge her needs, let him fulfill her desires, then when he has fulfilled his desire,
so if the man is now, you know, when you come, you came to have six speakers is a need that you want
to fulfill. So, then he says to the man, once you have fulfilled your desires, he should not
withdraw himself from her until she has fulfilled her desire. And because it may, because it may be
harmful for her, you know, it's obviously it is, it's really bad for you to fill your desires, and
		

			she is left unsatisfied. This is this is bad, why it's bad, long term for your marriage and for
society. And so, the Sharia, as we said, if we would just, you know, that he kept our discretion,
Western society went through a process where a woman was seen as something which should never be
sexually active, she should never have any sexual desires. I mean, women rebelled against this. And
she became seen as you know, you should you have this desires, and so explicit in whichever way you
want. And we see this hyper sexualized environment that we live in, we, you know, spying on a law
protect our young daughters the messaging that we are teaching youngsters that you know, what you
		

			want was little as you want, express your sexuality with whom you want go out and as as many sexual
partners as you want. This is obviously the wrong messaging that we want to share. It's not good for
our sisters, it's not good for the main, it is not good for the way and it's panela the way that the
messaging that we are treating with we're teaching our women folk imagine what this does to young
men, about the attitude towards women, that if women themselves, are not preserving the honor,
preserving the modesty, what does this say about men, you know, being being honorable, and being
modest towards towards women, and the messaging that we tell young men if we it's no stage, no
		

			secret that what young boys see on TV and what young boys are exposed to, they internalize this and
they wish you know, they want to practice this upon the females around them. And Subhanallah Of
course, we're not condoning anything that that is done. As I said, from you know, Islam begins by
saying to the man irrespective of what society is doing, irrespective what you see on TV, what
social media is telling you to do a respecter what is what she is weighing you, Allah begins with
you, a young man or young, you know, young old man's pan Allah, Allah says, Do you lower your gaze,
you can throw yourself use lead by example, even if all of the society is calling you to one, to
		

			doing one thing, it does not exonerate you and exempt you from doing harm. You need to guard your
own modesty, lower your gaze. So then, you know, from an Islamic perspective, Islam went and as has
been so mature in this area of *, saying that yes, both men and women have desires, both men and
women have the right to fulfill those desires, but to do so in a mature manner. Islam then said to
first, the main God, your modesty, lower your gaze, protect your private parts, be careful with how
you interact with women. Be very cautious. Allah is aware of what you look at, if your eyes need to
be careful. What about your hands? What about your feet, what about the rest of your body? When
		

			Allah says to our sisters, you're also a sexual being, you also have desires. So be careful and
lower and be modest in how you express that desire. Lower your gaze, protect your private parts, and
dress modestly as well cover your beautiful adornments except for your husbands and other members of
your family. And then then we mentioned Hadith upon Hadith, about how Islam, you know, what, you
know, acknowledges that women have a sixth drive acknowledges that she, she also wants fulfillment,
and that she has the right to pursue fulfillment. And then the Prophet has gone to such lengths,
commanding you know, it's almost almost, you know, we could almost say, it is a it is wajib upon the
		

			man is my crew for him to to fulfill his desires, and the woman is not satisfied in your marriage,
one of your rights as much as you need to make sure your wife has a roof over her head that she has
food to eat. You need to make sure when it comes to the bedroom, your wife is fulfilled, fulfilled,
she's happy, she's satisfied. Where is your heart, that is your responsibility, as a hacker, right,
and your responsibility as a husband. And so really when we ask what is sexual liberation, you know,
when when is a woman liberated sexually, or even a man that for that matter? We said liberation,
freedom is found in the submission and the obedience for las panatela. When we submit and we obey,
		

			and we follow the commands of Allah subhanaw taala and we live our life in accordance in accordance
with these instructions, will find enjoyment, will find fulfillment will find happiness in this life
and of course, access to the ophira the Sharia says to you fulfill your desires, enjoy your desires,
there are no limits. There are no things which are taboo, really, when it comes to this matter,
within the confines of a marriage, enjoy yourself to the full extent there is no limits really when
it comes to this
		

			Barring one or two things, everything else is par for the course, so long as it's within a safe nica
within a marriage. And so a woman from a Sharia perspective, you are as a Muslim woman, you are very
confident and comfortable with your sexuality, you're very comfortable and confident, your needs are
being met, your needs are being fulfilled, but at the same time, you do not have to express it in a
way which is, this is for men and women's panel, we do not have to express it in a way which is
haram. We don't have to express the way which is vulgar, or it is a lacking of modesty, let's Panama
you can be a very fulfilled person sexually, but you can still be modest. And perhaps the best
		

			example of that other Omar meaning the wives of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, they had the highest
level of of modesty, the highest level of hijab, you know, not only was she wearing a hijab, but in
front of her was a was a politician. But they were very open when they spoke about six, these Hadith
were mentioning on Salah is telling us the Hadith, they will be open to speak about women fulfilling
their desires and women, you know, being engaged in * with their husbands, but they were
the ladies of the highest level of higher. And so sha Allah in part two, we as Muslims, we aspire to
something a lot greater than just fulfilling our desires. Islam once as a level of modesty is a very
		

			poor translation, this concept of higher it is about honor, it is about how you how society should
view you as a person, your identity, your way in which you carry yourself in the road. This issue of
valuing yourself higher comes down to that and we'll talk about this inshallah in next week. Now
let's ponder bless us, Allah protect us Mama, protect us in our marriages, protect our young our old
mela protect our kids as they grow up in society. Now let's save our husbands or wives or men or
women for all of us and Allah forgive us for our sins and transgressions in which we do openly and
at which we do in secret my law forgive us and keep it hidden. And Allah forgive all of us and grant
		

			us all the goodness in Estonian after what hamdulillah Allah signum Hamad while earlier was happy of
Salaam serene will happen later but Allah me I said I wanted