Muhammad Salah – Fiqh Of Love Episode #11 Istikhara

			Salam aleikum wa salam My name is John Fontaine and welcome back to the thick of love. Today we are
joined with Sheikh Dr. Muhammad Salah Salaam Alaikum. Chef was salam, ala Matala, Waikato, John, how
are you handling. And we want to continue with this great, most important series about the thick of
love. So, throughout this series, we've been discussing marriage, all the things that happened
before marriage, and the last few episodes was actually speaking about the pursuit, the pursuit of
happiness, if you like the pursuit of absolutely and a good marriage as a good way to fish handler
how this can actually help not only the family, but the whole community as an ummah, picking the
		

			right spouse being the right spouse, as well. So today, when
		

			some of especially the younger ones, they have a proposal or maybe more than one proposal, and their
own decided which way to go, who to choose. You know, they've asked about the individual, they've
consulted their friends and family, you know, they've they know as much as they can about the
individual. What are the means can one use to kind of find out who the best proposal would be?
Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala anNabi almost of our back? That's a
beautiful question to ask. And I think we all as Muslims, need to learn the answer of this question.
Because either the viewers or the singles who are seeking life mates, they're looking forward to get
		

			married, or parents who have children and they want to get married or somebody's proposing to
children. So there's something really serious. The proper setup we spoke in the previous episode
about seeking the right spouse. And we spoke about the importance of investigating the background
finding out from the neighbors from the co workers from the colleagues, the Imam of the masjid the
community, not only about the person but also about the family as well. Then the comes after that.
One of the most important things which is also a great grant and gift the Allah Almighty bless this
OMA with, so beautiful a bed and it is the greatest means of helping any Muslim to make up their
		

			mind and to make the final decision which is this the heart is the heart is the heart. As we know
that is the Hara is a prayer and it's a sunnah and it is the Hara is to see the choice from Allah to
consult the Almighty Allah, as Which one shall I choose? If it is more than one as you say, and if
it is only one to consult Allah whether to accept or to refuse, whether to go ahead, or to back off.
So at least the Hara is
		

			prescribed in a certain Hadith collected by Imam Bukhari and the rest of the Hadith. Explain how
serious how important it is. When he said jab Abdullah may Allah be pleased with him and his father,
he said, that the Messenger of Allah to be upon him used to teach us is the Hara.
		

			As he used to teach us one of the chapters of the Quran very frequently, very oftenly it's very
serious. So he taught them either hammer Hadoken bill, whenever any of you is about to make a
decision,
		

			Foley Ankara Kartini, minerais Fariba, so let them overthrow rockers, and they shouldn't be any of
the mandatory prayers such as federal or Jomar to rock as each. So soon now, before resolvers soon
after marriage soon after Asia, I can merge the intention of praying is the hara along with offering
the Sunnah, if I don't have any sunnah, then it is prescribed to make an intention of praying to
rock us with an independent intention of consulting Allah Almighty by the end of the prayer is
called is the hara because I see the help of Allah in making the choice from Alfia or making the
choice then, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said Somalia could they let him say lawmen yesterday
		

			Okay, they will make a stop a little cameo quadratic, whereas a Luca and public allow him so three
praises in the beginning
		

			You praise the Almighty Allah with before you present your need, Oh Allah, I consult you, through
your knowledge stuck, a little chaotic, and I seek help in your power.
		

			What I said oh coming from Nicola Liam and I asked you for your great bounty for a nugget of the
ruler of the Alamo, Allah, Allah, Allah Allah Manu. Because indeed, you're able to do all things and
have no power. You have Sprint's and I don't have any stretch dalam Allah, Allah, you know
everything and I have no knowledge.
		

			And you're able to do all things. So please, I'm consulting you and give me the right choice. Oh
Allah inContact alum Anahata llama. Now we are about if you're a male, and looking forward to marry
this girl,
		

			you made your inquiry investigations. And he asked about the family that that ground and the goal
and the data you collected is all positive. Then before knocking on the door, before proceeding on,
offer those thorough cars and recite the following supplication, then you say Oh Allah, if you
		

			know that this matter, or this choice is going to be better for me, I'm going to take this woman as
a wife, it's gonna be better for me, in respect of this dunya and in respect of the Hereafter didn't
make it easy for me and facilitate this whole process.
		

			And if you know in your knowledge of the Unseen in your infinite knowledge, that this choice is bad
for me at a spirit of my worldly life and my hereafter, then for slip one knee or slip Nyan, so take
it away from me and take me away from it. So this is really having a lot so much trust in Allah, you
know, and really seeking His knowledge about the unseen is the Hara is all about submission. Because
look, you may have a desire or urge or tendency or likening the person but you say a respect of all
of that. I trust Allah and I submit my will to the will of Allah, Allah choose for me, choose for me
something which is going to last with me forever. So a sort of for annual strip neon, take it away
		

			for me and take me away from it. If you know that this is going to be bad for me, I have no clue
about the future, you know better. So what Hodor Lille, higher highs, okay? And decide for me,
whatever is good for me, whatever it may be at some Merlini back then make me pleased and happy with
it. This is a very comprehensive simplification. It's not only about oh Allah make it easy for me to
find the right choice. Now, number one, if you know and you noticed that this choice is going to be
good for me, the respect of the dunya my worldly life, my worldly affairs, respect of having wife,
children, grandchildren, lasting the marriage,
		

			enjoy in my marriage life, and also in the Hereafter, she is going to be a good spouse for me, she
would help me to be saved into panelists, then make it easy for me pave the road towards marrying
this woman. But if you know otherwise, then turn it away from me and take me away from it and decide
for me what is better, what is best, whatever it may be asked and make me happy with it.
		

			This
		

			is a very fascinating supplication. The first question that people would ask, want to recite this
application before or after the prayer the vast majority of the Fuqua like Imam Abu Hanifa, Shiva
your Malik, out of the view that the supplication should be recited after you finish the Torah cuz
then you raise your hands, and you praise Allah and you supplicate cheerful Islam evening Tamia
suggested that it is better to recite it after you recite the Shahada.
		

			And you say Inaka Homido Majeed, then you start Allah Almighty as the hero
		

			before making Tasleem then you make the sleep afterwards.
		

			The Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam already answered the question which many people will follow up
and ask? Well, when exactly is it prescribed to pray is the hara at one point, like shall I wait
until I go and I propose to her, I see her. Then if I like her, I will praise the Hara. Or before I
pursued person or knock on their door or talk to her family. At least it's better before making a
scene and talking about it. Likewise for the God shall I pray is the heart as soon as I receive a
proposal, all we pray it's the Hora because somebody said that somebody is interested and he is
interested in visiting you shall I pray is the hara before, shall I wait until I see the person then
		

			I decide
		

			The term hammer hammer is different than Azama Azama you've already made up your mind you decided.
So there is no point of praying is the Quran because you become determined, you made the plans. So
it's like you know something, rituals that you're doing it, you just need some sort of blessings.
But hemma you're thinking about it. I want to talk to you about your sister. I don't know. So I pray
to rock as, and I ask Allah subhanaw taala or Allah if you know that, so and so sister is good for
me to take her as a wife make it easy for me. Okay, then I found it
		

			easy to talk to you and visit with you. Then we came and visited with a sister, and we'll talk to
her. It's perfectly okay to praise the horror again. Afterward, in order to feel certain, you know,
sometimes shake some people, maybe they're given some sort of sign that is not the right thing. So
they still keep praying is to Cairo tryna trying to get signs for what their desires want? Well,
		

			there is nothing wrong with repeating the Sahara, you can keep praying is the hara more than once
until you find your heart and the tendency towards one of the choices. Okay, until you come to the
final conclusion. But what is not right is that you've already made up your mind, or your heart is
totally inclined towards that person. Like, you know, you're saying that if I do marry that person,
I would kill myself, then you're gonna produce the horror, how good is it? It doesn't make any
sense. So if there is however, if there is a desire, and if there is help, remember the Hadith hope
book has shaped you or me what you're saying swim. Whenever you're already a love. No matter what
		

			you say, no matter what people tell you have negative stuff in order toward you have a make you
change your mind, no matter how many bad things you see by your own eyes, but you're neglecting all
of them. Likewise, when the person is in love, and he's already inclined towards that person,
whether to marry her, or she wants to accept the proposal of that person and marry him. So in this
case, sprain is the horror will be ineffective? of no use. Why? Because at least the holla is
prescribed whenever you're undecided. Okay, so it's before you've actually made that final decision.
And you're, you know, where you kind of you're not sure whether it's the right thing or not, yes,
		

			you're not sure. You collect a lot of data, and you heard a lot of good things. But again, you're
not going to make the decision without two things is the shadow and is the heart so you do your
homework. First, you have to do your homework, you know, ask the questions, do your research. And
then as a last resort, if you like, you're now approaching Allah and asking Allah, your knowledge on
why there is a rise in the divorce rate worldwide. Because people when they like others, when
somebody likes another person, they just want to get married
		

			without investigating without making matura consulting people elder's experts, and without studying
what are the rights versus their duties and without fully agreeing to everything including
stipulating conditions and ask questions and without consulting Allah subhanaw taala. So if they
just want to get married, I like him, I like her, they get married, and a couple of months later,
they get divorced. When the person follows the sequence, which we've been talking about for the
previous 10 episodes, this marriage is more likely to last and not just to last in this dunya last
inshallah in paradise as well. Why should because it was established on piety on righteousness, it
		

			will establish on following the guidance of the Prophet peace be upon him. Just UCLA herscherik
Subhanallah, very eye opening, speaking about istikhara using istikhara as a means to help you with
your decision. Those of you at home, we're just gonna take a very short break. We'll be right back
after the break as Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
		

			Salam Alaikum salam, my name is John Fontana. Welcome back to the ship of love. So I can share
welcome Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh. Before the break, we were speaking about istikhara and
you know, when to do it, when to use it, etc. And I have a few more questions about this because
shaker there's a lot of misconceptions regarding the istikhara Subhanallah you know, what sort of
mistakes do you
		

			see people making when and sort of misconceptions regarding istikhara? Yeah, in the mind of many
people is to Hara once they pray, they should go back to sleep,
		

			or the Sahara right before going to sleep or going to bed because they anticipate seeing a sign that
something like a dream or some sort of inspiration that is not necessarily true. The outcome of his
Tahara and the result of is the Hara is what we'll call it, an insurer to find your heart is
inclined towards what Allah chooses for you, and he facilitates what is good for you. So you
propose, and the family are happy with you, and they make it easy for you, and they say, Sure,
Inshallah, you're a good person, give us a couple of days. We'll pray a Sahara to and we'll get back
to you. So they get back to you. And they say, Yes, we agreed, we're going to come over to speak
		

			about the details. That is actually the result of esta hora. The girl praises Hara whenever the
person proposes to her.
		

			Many times people call others and secondly, praise the horror on my behalf. I'm not too good to
praise the horror everyone should pay is the harder either him or her to come every one of you,
every one of you. And it's not only about marriage, but now since we're talking about making that
very serious decision, then it's the horror is very crucial. So the sign is more than it would
become easy. Yeah, that route would be facilitating that choice for you is the outcome of the
harangue. So you should obviously if you pray properly, if you pray it during the right time, before
you're making the decision, and you're totally undecided. Okay, so so,
		

			you know, some people do expect to see dreams? And is it possible that someone could have a dream?
Absolutely. It may happen, it may happen. But what I'm trying to tell people do not just rely on
that. What if you don't see a dream say, Well, I have to pray again and again and again. And they're
just waiting on seeing the dream to make the decision otherwise they will not decide that is not
true.
		

			Subhan Allah, so Subhan Allah so the whole thing would just become a sha Allah, easy is it for order
also is important. Yanni we spoke about the process of the investigation? Yes, if you want to face
it this way, to find out more about the person and finding out is actually something should be done
before it's the Hara. So they should before the istikhara you should do all older is to find out
about the goal about the family, if you don't have accurate informations, if you did not know them
before, like was when the girl receives
		

			a proposal. So her guardian and the family will do their homework and will investigate the
background of that person. Okay, sometimes the person looks very sweet, and he talks very sweet. And
he says very good things about him. So he speaks very hard about himself. But that is not
necessarily true. So I gotta do my homework and find out about the person about his family, and
verify whatever he said whether it's true or not. Some people on the proposal, say I'm an engineer,
I'm a dentist, I'm a lawyer, I have a PhD. He doesn't even have a high school diploma. They just
know how to talk. So after the investigation, there is something called matura
		

			matura or is the Shara when you consult people have experience every family have some very wise
people whom people normally resort to in order to seek their advices so it's the chakra is also
advised before it's the Hara. Before it's the hara, especially when the person Alhamdulillah is
undecided. This is what Imam nawawi may Allah have mercy on him said then after word you pray the
esta hora. All of that. Most definitely before making the decision before either making the proposal
or accepting the proposal. Should you know it if you know that somebody's not a good Muslim, you
know, you know it's not a good choice for you should you still do is to call well the condition of
		

			making a cigar effective and actually offering the Istikhara prayer is that it must be offered
concerning something legitimate, something Halal travel are not to travel, to marry or not to marry
a good person obviously, to do business with this guy or not to marry this car or the house or not
to sorry to buy that car, that house or not to buy. But somebody is making esta hora to spend a
vacation in Las Vegas. And to check out the casinos. No, it's Sahara there. Somebody is making
Sahara you received the proposal
		

			Have you figured out that the guy from the investigation that the guy never sets off within the
machine?
		

			You've raised the bar. Are you for real? Are you joking? There is no Sahara, because Allah from the
beginning told you not to marry that person not to marry that person. So when you know the person is
not a good Muslim is not a practicing Muslim, it is not permissible to pray it's the hara, in his
regard, or in her God, because Allah has advised us not to marry that person. Okay, so some people
say they asked if you can actually ask, ask somebody else to make a stickler for you. Is this
permissible? Well, I'm glad you asked this question. Because if you have asked this question
earlier, I would say wait until we speak about this the heart, as we discussed and explain the
		

			outcome of his Tahara. And it's all about feeling and finding things going easy in that direction,
or in that path, who will find out on your behalf, who would actually have that feeling in his or
her heart. He will say subhanallah you know, this guy in the beginning, I was kind of skeptical, but
Subhanallah now I feel like I like him. I feel like he's a good guy. I feel things are going easy in
that direction, in the direction of getting married. So if I ask my friend, my colleague, or you
call the chef on television and say, Sure, somebody's proposing to me mashallah, can you praise the
horror for me? You wire some money for somebody to pray istikhara for you, all of that is invalid.
		

			Because the Messenger of Allah T's proper name you see, the hadith is very simple, very simple, but
it's very precise, either hammer or haidakhan, Bill Embrey, failure Karrakatta any, whenever any of
you is about to do anything and before you decide, go ahead and pray the two workers who would pray
on your behalf not sure you pray for yourself, the person who is concerned about this choice is the
one who should offer the Sahara prayer check. I've actually witnessed this in some communities where
		

			so called checks are actually receiving payment
		

			to pray for the person or pray or do as he kind of is the harder for them, is this permissible? Now,
making this harder as I said, making this the hara on behalf of others
		

			is not prescribed. But making dua for others. Yes, it is prescribed? If you assume this person, is
it this person and his dua is more likely to be accepted? It's okay to ask John. John, I'm about to
make a very serious decision in my life, would you please make dua for me, ask Allah to make it easy
for me to make the right decision? Is that permissible, that is permissible,
		

			permissible to send them an invoice
		

			now what I'm going to advise is, I'm going to advise not to encourage such people to take this as a
job or a source of income. So that they decide okay, over the phone and while that much money
		

			may go out for me and they were so much money, so, in the minds of many people that those shoe and
the scholars are surviving on the halwa the sweet that is given to them from here and there know,
the person who is learning seeking knowledge and has become a scholar should be an honorable person
should be teaching people and benefiting them if you have a job and you have a source of income,
which is sufficient for you Alhamdulillah but you should not take making dua and praying for others
as a source of income support. So is there any any more advice you can give in terms of preparing
for the istikhara you know,
		

			I know we spoke about the best time but what time of the day would you would you recommend to do it
doesn't matter they time my time as long as it is sunnah. And obviously if it is not pressing, then
avoid praying is the hara during the three times which are known as El cuarto, Cara
		

			until sunrise and after also until sunset, and 15 minutes before there's a wall or before the time.
Then anytime you pray 200 You pray to rock as and you make is the Hara. Fine, that is perfectly
fine. The person must actually exert an effort to show Allah subhanaw taala that I'm really
undecided. And a very important question, which is that why if I pay the Sahara before I pursue this
goal in marriage, then after I proposed to her, I found out lots of things which made me change my
mind. Can I face the heart again? Absolutely. You can praise the heart again. Okay. And this is the
heart will be concerning. Shall I resumed this relationship or shall we break up? Shall I marry this
		

			girl or not? Light
		

			Why would the guy separation in this stage is a lot easier and much lesser damage then obviously
after processing the marriage contract, and even within marriage as well, would you recommend? You
know if you are going through difficulties in case of separation every divorce, of course, yes,
that's a serious decision, you know, consulting those who are experts, psychologists, Muslim
psychologist,
		

			family counselors, and then pray is the Hara. Everyone have different conditions from others.
Sometimes a person like the other the guy
		

			wants to marry. All of a sudden, he's been looking for a whole year, and nothing looks positive on
the screen. And then he all of a sudden found three, four gods, how many istikhara does he have to
pray or one four or one per each? Likewise, whenever the girl receives multiple proposals, one per
each, okay Judo has great advice. They're learning about the SFR and all the benefits of that.
Shake. That's all we have time for today. So Jack locker, thank you for joining us again. Thank you,
John. And for those of you at home I hope you got to gain some benefit from this. Please make the
most of the Sahara. You know, if you don't have the DUA. You can actually get it in the fortress of
		

			a Muslim It's a well known dua which you can actually learn and practice and Inshallah, may Allah
make it easy for you and help you on your journey. Join us next time for another episode of The fic
of love. Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh