Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari – Marriage – Deen Vs Culture Part 7

			DNA is a comprehensive word, comprehensive statement. It starts from a guide to Marsha to mama to a
bad dad to the external appearance to the internal, external sooner, internal sooner, inwards and
outwards sooner, especially with marriage. Hello. And a HELOC is probably more important than
anything. And this is why there's a hadith and Sunnah at the heart of La komentar bernadina Whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So we do a lot of conflict and violence in a certain area, the messengers,
Allah when he was sent, it was addressing the parents, the worries, the Odia, the worry of the
guardians, and said, Look, if you get a proposal from someone whose deed and whose character, Hulu
		

			cow, you're happy with them, marry them off, don't wait for anything else, don't wait for this money
and that money etc. marry them author, character is probably the most important thing in marriage.
Because you see in marriage, nothing will save a person from you know, abusing you or from acting in
a you know, inappropriate way except the fear of Allah. It's a private relationship. You can't call
the police my husband's not smiling at me.
		

			Can't do that. You Subhana Allah He will do that.
		

			But you can't you know these relationships you know, these are things you can't How can you you
know, you my wife doesn't do this. So she's always you know, just reserved or she's always you know,
		

			talking to me took took him with me in a disrespectful manner these kind of things. They not the
only thing that will make them a good wife or a good husband is the fear of Allah.
		

			Seriously, that's the only thing that's why it's very important you know, Dean when we say Dean some
of our brothers I think Dean Yeah, these 200 on the keyboard Mr. Dean Dean Dean Yeah, you know,
		

			fashionable woman you know, I want someone who's you know, got good accent and those days and not
not have you know, some of them back home and someone you know, someone
		

			knows about fashion and designer wear and knows you know about all these things?
		

			was I saying
		

			Yeah, so the deal is very important just wrapping up this first point What's his first point about
write these things down? You should write numbers sure theory I think or someone said, by either
		

			you know, you should make notes even if you know we should still make notes is very important. You
know, in lectures and programs we come especially programs where there's long talks should make a
habit a good sign of a good Muslim, someone who's you know, who has a pen and a notepad all the time
and make not make some sisters makes it the sisters are generally sisters make notes more than the
brothers, brothers, they will remember everything but then you know, everything goes away.
		

			We should we should make a habit.
		

			So first thing we need to read, I'm gonna wrap this point up. Marriage is an act of a bird, right? A
bird means taqwa before marriage at the term of marriage, after marriage, after marriage, have the
fear of Allah in the way you deal with your spouse's, your husband, your wife, everything in
accordance with Islam, you'll have a prosperous marriage. And and don't consider this to be a normal
routine, mundane act of the world. Marriage is not an worldly activity. It's an Islamic activity.
And, you know, it's an act of a bird. And that's why there are so many rewards in marrying many
heads, and many Quranic verses about marriage, all the profits besides to married and etc, etc.
		

			Anyway.
		

			Point number two about marriage again, connected because marriage is an act of a brother, a loss of
power. subhanho wa Taala made marriage very easy, simple.
		

			In Islam, probably the simplest thing is marriage.
		

			Simple. It's so simple. You have the brother, you have the sister, it has a brother here and we can
do it right now.
		

			Just sister can ask the permission of her when he got in his phone your data. said okay, I'm gonna
get married someone, a brother. You guys handle our witnesses here. It takes two minutes.
		

			Why don't you take two minutes and then we got a restaurant here we can go somewhere can go into
edema. Sharla. Maybe later on.
		

			Just make sure it's Hello.
		

			So it's very simple. Marriage is probably the most simplest we our culture has made it difficult.
		

			This is a big problem actually gave a whole talk just on this. And this was again kind of a couple
of years ago, just on this topic.
		

			Cultural difficulties in marriage, the move we have made. Marriage is very difficult. Every culture
community has its own self imposed restrictions. You shadow IT which have nothing whatsoever to do
with Islam. People meet all these conditions. You have to earn this much money. You have to have
this you have to have that until you know I won't get married. You can't get married.
		

			Until your great granddad and your uncle doesn't come back from Pakistan and she's gone there and
this one's in Bangladesh and this was in India and this until that, granted doesn't come from here.
It isn't, you know, look at the time of the messenger. sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Seriously, Abdul
Rahman, you know, Alfred the Allahu anhu was it's a hobby, right? You know, he was a hobby
companion. The messenger sallallahu Ellison saw him after a week, he said, Oh, man, I didn't see you
for a few days. He said, What's this yellow stain? He had some yellow stain on his clothes. So
what's this yellow stone status? Oh, yellow stain. Oh, you know last week I got married. I try some
		

			yellow perfume. So this is that perfect.
		

			You got married last week? He said, Barack Allah Ollie moto shatin Allah give you Baraka bless you
make What do you mean? Even if it's besloten a goat? Imagine that's how simple marriages were for
the Sahaba and look at the messenger sallallahu Sallam if it was someone like me, he didn't tell me.
You know, I'm the Imam of the mosque. You know, you mentioned that they would say this even calling
in for me. So so what you know it's like you had food yesterday. You can't tell me every time you
eat when you go to the toilet. You don't every time you read the Quran or every time you do
something you can't tell the name of the mosque that's how the Sahaba the long I know what marriages
		

			were simple I got married fine It's done. A few people were there. The messages are a lot of it was
in a once married. Well, you might well everybody okay? Everybody bring whatever from home you know,
just sit and eat and what do you mean? Simple. We have made marriages difficult restrictions where
you'd being from the same caste or being from this this condition that condition and I'll tell you
one thing, you know, because of that the mood we have made marriages difficult. What have we done we
have closed the doors of Hana The more we close the doors or halaal the more the doors of haram open
up simple. We see all the unlawful activities taking place outside.
		

			Young people living I know you guys hear many parents here, you know and we do have some parents but
you know seriously, I mean, I said when my kids grow up was just you know when you want to marry
someone isn't good practice and sister or brother whatever. handler Go for it. No problems. no
restriction. You will get married today tomorrow. No problem.
		

			Seriously, you know, one of my sisters actually married my sister.
		

			One of my sisters got married. I got I found out about the marriage after she got married.
		

			Seriously, my brother in law cousin brother came from India on the Wednesday and Thursday or
Thursday, I was I was studying in Durham, Barry. I was young, like 1015 years ago. And they were
discussing on Friday morning about 1011 in the morning, my father was saying is he I just came back,
you know, should we do the nikka or not? You know, they're just deliberating. And then Jim Otto,
just 1015 years before jumar a father decided that we should just do the nickel no problem.
		

			They do. The nickel father did that. nikka himself is an imam of the masjid. And it was like good
1015 years 15 years ago. And then afterwards, you know, I think my my other sister or my brother,
someone phoned me said, Oh, we just you know, there was just done before I wasn't, you know, the
marriage is done just after tomorrow. So Michelle is good. I'll see if I can come home. And then on
the Friday evening, I went home, just you know, for the weekend. And then it goes down.
		

			It should be a simple The more we make it difficult, the more the dose of heroin we open up, make it
easy. Parents should not impose restrictions. Islam says gafa A suitability katha means having
things in common doesn't mean you have to be from the same caste and from the same background, you
know, back home from the same village from the same, you know, street from the same alleyway from
the same you know, every you know, it doesn't have to be like that. Maybe Okay, it's good. It's
good. Right? It may be good if you do that, maybe you know, but the thing is, Islam says one point
here again, is like you know, when two people marry, it's the two people marry not the two families
		

			marry. That's another point.
		

			In our coaches, again, the great granddad from here and the Great Grandma from everybody, marriage,
you have to make everybody happy. This is just ridiculous. Some of these things. Just make it easy.
You know, don't put conditions on your young children. Easy. You find a good Muslim man or a woman
who look either this is what the message is on the law. It was him said inlanta Fado and say this is
a hadith of sunan of Lima Timothy inlanta file if you do not marry your daughters off to people who
have good character that couldn't fit in utensil rld with a certain ID you'll have widespread
destruction and fitna and trials and tribulations on how on earth
		

			the idea of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So remove all these restrictions.