Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari – A Loving Father & Inspiring Mentor
AI: Summary ©
The importance of showing one's love for their partner and their partner's personality, past experiences, struggles with language and writing, and disciplined spending is emphasized in Islam. The speaker also discusses the importance of preaching, disciplined spending, and making intentions for future events. The importance of practicing these practices is emphasized, as it is necessary to strengthen one's immune system.
AI: Summary ©
Smilla Rahmanir Rahim
Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala he was a big Marine, alumina, aluminum and fauna and flora Nabil Marland. Anna was in Ireland, most of her Nikhil Von Miller are human and
respected brothers and also sisters listening to Thomas
hamdulillah it's a great honor and a great privilege to be here today in Masjid more enjoyable.
This program remembering the life and the works of
a chef
Rahim Allah, Allah to Allah. We have to say Rahim Allah today as one of the Muhammad Satan saying, it's very difficult to say, Rahim Allah, Allah have mercy on
you.
Time is short. And the title and the topic given to me by
our Imam here, as he mentioned,
a loving father and inspiring mentor, a mentor or mentor.
Before I just mentioned before I go into that topic,
many of you if not all of you probably attended the Janaza prayer.
And not just the Janaza prayer the day before. In the evening, when so many so many people lined up all the way from us for the street to door you know to since Belgrave and St. Xavier's all the way to Dorothy road or street. So many people standing in lines
despite it being cold, just to have a two second glimpse at the face of someone that they love and have great respect for. This is kind of unheard of.
Very unique, even janazah. How long does janazah take place? Is it a one hour service? I actually read somewhere online they said it was a very short service. non Muslims cannot understand that people are traveling from London from Bolton to come on offer a three minute Janaza prayer is three minutes. It's not tomorrow, there's no hotbar there's no beyond.
And that's why we said okay, let's just say something for five minutes beforehand. People are here they're standing people leaving work just to come and attend a three minute service. Why? Because of the love because of this affection. And because it's a two way thing. The person who passes away, they have so many people, so many people making dua for them, which is a means of forgiveness. And also those who are offering the Janaza prayer it's also a means of their blessings and their forgiveness. When we offer the salah Janaza prayer for someone who is highly high in the according to Allah subhanaw taala has a high lofty status mahkamah Rank then it's also for us.
And this journal has a funeral where you have 1000s of people attending in itself is a sign
it's a sign it's not a proof. You need to keep everything in context it's a sign and an indication of this person's forgiveness and acceptance about Allah subhanaw taala Imam Mohammed bin Hamdan the great Imam one of the four Imams to Allah one of the one who used to say gewoon early will be there I Beynon, Albania como Jana is tell the people of innovation between us and you will be our funeral press that will show who is on the truth.
And they say that approximately 200 to 300,000 people offered the Janaza prayer of Imam Muhammad been humbled.
And that was in those days here as well. This This was a historic janazah 18 to 20,000 people unheard of, it's a great sign. And then many dreams are related. These are all great signs of a person's forgiveness, great status and lofty rank. But these are signs and indications not a proof. I always say people say this many people that many people Imam Muhammad said this also in the context, it doesn't mean sometimes you might have someone really great in the eye for people for janazah doesn't mean that they're not forgiven by Allah or the the status has diminished. And you could have a facet or a sinful person or they might just have in some celebrity or somebody had so
many 1000s in their funeral. So it's not a proof for Hoja we need to keep that in mind as well.
But his greatest miracle, these are all signs but what is really a proof is his life. When someone passes away this is happening. This dream is being seen
Rain is falling. These are all just like what we call like the icing on the cake. The real cake is the actual life. How did he live his life? From the beginning till end? We don't need any other thing to sort of prove anything. You see a person has real life in his when he was alive, how did he live that life? But Allah subhanaw taala places is a bully. I read this hadith in the program you had in German Masjid as well, that there's a hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi salam said, either have Billa who will Abdur Nerja. Now that you're going to eat when Allah loves a slave, he calls out to Jubril peace be upon him. He says in Allah to Allah, your Hebrew for learning. Indeed
Allah loves such and such for Arabic whoo hoo. So therefore algebraically you love him? For you? Hey, boo hoo, Jabra e Jabra instars loving him for unity via le Salah in Allahu Haibo for learn and for a boo hoo Jabra then makes an announcement in the heavens amongst the angels and he says indeed Allah loves such and such all of you Angel start loving him as well for you Hey, boo hoo hoo sama and then the people of the heavens ie the angels they start loving this person from you bar hula hula caboodle fill Earth. This is a Hadith in Bukhari and Muslim then acceptance is placed in the earth. And this is what happened. This you know, this acceptance, this respect, this real love
doesn't come through, you know, promoting yourself being on social media, being on Facebook, Twitter being this comes this is this is directly from Allah.
People who didn't even know him, I heard that there are people come to the house, who did they two three days before he passed away to just to see him or the night before he you know, his burial to see the face and in the Janaza people who probably never saw him or met him. What is it? It's just Allah placed this in the heart that this is someone that we need to go and see.
Anyway, this was just a kind of an introduction to the topic, which is
how was he as a father, I just got three four points and I'll give you a few examples and then inshallah we'll end
a loving father and inspiring mentor.
Four points first point, I just made these points up right now as I was saying
is that
I am a son, of course and all his students are his sons as well. I used to always turn well I'm sorry, your his son
will be see some people here as well. MashAllah woody this Hedmark he was a father figure for everyone.
Yet, me and my siblings, we did see him at home
on a regular basis.
From young from childhood.
When you live with someone, you see some sort of everyone's a human being you what you see, you see some shortcomings. It's natural. I have a chef teacher, and I wrote about him in one article once that I said that the more I traveled with him, the more I see him closely, normally you become informal and that muhabba or that love or that respect, or that or that appeal that will be called. How do you translate a kid?
disrespect, admiration kind of diminishes a bit when you become informed.
And if you're living with someone at home, then without a doubt, yet I honestly placing my hand on my heart would say that even from amongst the scholars on planet Earth.
There is nobody besides one other teacher of mine, that I have ultimate ultimate love, admiration love, not the fatherly love, that's fine. I mean, everyone loves the Father the most. But in terms of respect and admiration as a pious servant of Allah, there is nobody else I've seen so many scholars and so many teachers from afar, not living with them.
But there's nothing negative since being a young child that I could come across a pinpoint in his life.
And you know this in itself I didn't used to mention this before of course when you're when your father is alive, it's not good to kind of mention my father's this and my father's that when he passes away then you should hamdulillah there's nothing wrong in mentioning these things.
So while she was alive, I never mentioned this once to some students I mentioned this once, but that there's nobody else on planet Earth for me from all the shoe and all the autumn on all the teachers and honestly I've seen many in India, Pakistan and Syria and Arab world and many places I've studied by there's only one other teacher besides him and my father to people I have ultimately something that I can never point a negative, any negativity.
He was very humbled
as some of the students have Office has had mentioned, with his juniors with his students very, very, very
respectful with his children
you know with his children, my brother, my siblings,
he would call them with the name Molana. Imagine even with his students I think he calls you guys more than normal Humberside Maulana Jose after they graduate otherwise, what do teachers teachers do? This is my student, my shall get my student you know, and they don't even use the word Molana because I'm no problem. There's no there's nothing wrong with that as well. But this was his level of humility that even his juniors people at the age of his grandchildren, he would respect call them with respectful terms.
Imam even a hydra Ross Kalani Rama, hola one of the great Imams of this ummah. It's mentioned about him that he was so humble that he would refer to his juniors and his students as my companion.
One of my teachers chef moved to Turkey with money happy the hola lives in Pakistan was exactly the same. I see a lot of similarity between my father and of the duck with money in terms of practice in terms of conduct in terms of, you know, in terms of Muhammad. He also always respects his students. There was one chef many of the students and the alumni, no chef, Abdel Fatah, Buddha, Ryan Hola.
When he was writing a foreword for for one of his students who still alive Sheikh Mohammed Awana, he calls him this is a student of yesteryear and a companion of today.
And he gave him titles a shave, and Allah, Allah Maha de.
He's my student from olden times, but now he's my companion. And these are big people, they don't think because I'm a teacher, I'm a chef. I am above you, I have seniority over you, I, I have a rank above you. So this humility was one of the things even at home even with his children,
even with his children, he never would command.
I'm not I'm sure he'd never commanded the students but even the children are told, never commanded.
Even if you want it to
pass on a message, it would be perhaps this is better. Perhaps this might be good.
Even if it something that he probably didn't agree with, I can give you an example
20 years ago,
in our madrasa in general masjid, when we started the data room, and some of the students will relate to this. When I started teaching, I started teaching in English, the mothers or books in Daraa, or Allume, teaching in English and heard of
it wasn't I'm sure at that time in 2003. Because it was only a few dark rooms during very darkest dark room and maybe one or two others. And until now, it's not a problem teaching what to do in our mattress and our handle a lot of the graduates who graduated the the teaching English.
And my father was very strong on what to do. And of course, we should learn how to do we should study what to do.
And I started teaching even the higher level books
he Daya I would translate in English, explain in English, read the Arabic text translate in English, not even translation. In my lesson, I never had even one word of what to do.
And this was unheard of for him. Never one day did you tell me do not teach in English? He gave me some a shout out, can I add some indications that there should be some more to do a very loving way.
Even if he disagreed with and this is another point that when he was disciplining, I was going to talk about this in the disciplining of children. I mentioned it again there, that when he was disciplining his children, he made the distinction between two types of things, things which are absolutely categorically outside the box and lawful Qatari. You drink alcohol Of course, he's not going to tolerate it. You don't pray Salah he's not going to tolerate in his father. Any major clear categorical haram there's no tolerance, but anything when which there is a slight disagreement difference of opinion. He might have his own opinion, but he never ever, ever forced his opinion.
Even on his students. I'm sure I'm not even on his children.
I have my talk being recorded on video right now. My father was of the opinion that videos are not allowed until his latter life.
I have some of my pictures online some of the students he that was his opinion. He knew all his life. He used to smile and joke and muscle my siblings is to show that this is your son on YouTube. And he's smiling. But you take put him on YouTube, no way never. And this is why we don't see any of his images. I once took one image of him when he came when one of my teachers came up with money with Allah to him.
Housing he was eating and I took a picture and actually put it online and he got really angry. And I removed it, because that was about him. But never angry if I'm online or if I if my picture is there or not. This is This is amazing. You know, some of the students, they don't understand this, this level of, you know, de facto understanding how to how to deal with issues in disciplining with children.
If you don't pray salah, he was very angry.
The five pillars of Islam and major haram, there is no tolerance, but anything else besides that, if there's a difference of opinion, he might have an opinion, but his tolerant, he might say, Okay, this is better not to do. But if you do it, it's fine. You're on it. You've studied it's, it's up to you what, what opinion you follow. So this was one the humility, the humility, which is treating his children with respect with love.
The second point was, is
a lot of love and affection for his children at home, discipline, but lots of love and affection, extreme amounts, sometimes to the amount of spoiling them.
Maybe because I got spoiled, I was the youngest one and maybe this is, this is why I've probably not to the level that I should be.
But he would spoil
a lot of love and affection. But with discipline. One of the things of tarbiyah that we need to learn one of the basic principles of Islam is equality cheat all your children equally. I've seen from my father all his life,
all his children, he treated them equally. Equally, he gave someone a gift who would ensure that he gives the other one the exact amount of gift. If he wants to say something nice to one in front of the other he wouldn't he will make sure it's not in the presence of the other.
Making sure ensuring that someone's feelings are not hurt.
It tabula Feola decom the Hadith of the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam, fear Allah regarding your children worthy lubaina Allah they can be just, there was one companion not mine, but here are the Allahu Anhu he went to the messenger some Allah Allah sent me said O Messenger of Allah, I want to give one of my children and child a gift. He said, our Kula Waller they can help them with Allah Who have you given all your children similar gift.
He said no to set fire to hidden is, don't make me a witness to this gift for Neela shadow Allah Joan, I don't be a witness on oppression. This is oppression.
This is for parents, your your male children and female children treat them equally. This is a massive responsibility, and it's a great sin in Islam to treat them unjustly.
Also part of his tarbiyah and discipline
is, you know, the best method of tarbiyah
is practice what you preach.
He never had to tell us perform Salah
too much. Because he did tell us he never had to tell us to stay away from this or do stay away from that. He was a role model at home. I wrote in one of the articles after he passed away that I still remember, as a child sleeping in my room. The only thing I can remember ringing in my ears is my father reciting Jews after Joseph the use of the book of Allah subhanaw taala. In a beautiful tone.
I wake up sometimes I'm thinking I'm 1012 years old, I hope to tend to read a bit silently my sleep has been disturbed. And he's walking from this room to this room from this way this man is walking, dancing.
I need to sleep
eight in the morning. And he's reading Quran all day to the afternoon is reading Quran. He's reading that car, his Salawat is the spa and he had a book where his ticked here and across here and in this I've read surah Yaseen, and I've read this and I read Kabara Can I read this merchant?
You know, this must salawat and this is why everything is written in like a basic
tool of life. Part of his timetable, like this is my life date, this these are all the tools, it's like a big thing, part of the Mac side of life.
So this is the practice what you preach.
What Miranda was solid, he was severely Allah says, quote, are you to the prophets and to all of us, if you command your children to offer Salah and pray yourself
if you want if we want our children not to lie, we have to stop lying.
You know, someone comes to our house, knocks on the door.
You tell your children what?
Tell you Daddy, tell tell them to tell him does not at all.
Because we don't I don't want to meet him. He might be seven, eight years old, but he might need to start thinking right now that lying is not a big thing to open the door. My dad just told me to tell you that he's not at home.
You've
got a massive cigar in our mouth. Smoking is bad for you don't smoke, smoking is bad, like the silent childhood thing that like if it's bad, then why are you smoking?
best, best method of tarbiyah of children practice what you preach from an Islamic point of view from a social point of view from from every perspective. And studies have been done on this as well.
And then, I also remember and I think this is one of the greatest neuroma that we children had.
This is part of therapy as well. I remember this since childhood.
Great honor Marsh, you would come and visit our house, since like I was for three, five years, four or 567 years of age. The only thing I can remember, of great Alama from India, from Pakistan from the Arab world from visiting frequenting. I grew up and my siblings, we grew up seeing great ordermark Coming, that house that he's, you know, was living in and my blessed mother still lives in and, you know, all his life has stayed. I was saying yesterday to the family. I said this is a house of Baraka, who hasn't come to this house.
Who hasn't come to this house from the Imams of haram. I remember when I was seven, eight years of age Sheikh Mohammed bin Abdullah so the year has passed away, Rahim Allah so it used to be a short Imam. He used to leave the agenda. Sorry, the Asia prayer.
He came there once. Even chef Chu radium.
I remember he came to lead Salah in many massage and even in general masjid, I remember I think I was 17 at that time, I gave the Alon because I wanted to give the Ananda times I want to give that that and I came back home and he he was still at home and then he led the a lot of prayer and I think he read some other Salah in other massages of Leicester at that time.
But even from the subcontinent chef mode and aside the Madani Rahim Hola. Every I used to visit the UK is to come to my house to my father for 1015 minutes for under Hakeem Okta Rahim Allah Who Fatima who the lesson go here Rahim Allah has stayed three days that people have slept there upstairs. So as a child we are seeing just to an order more from India Pakistan the total of money happy the whole I remember in 1987 came to my house I remember still vividly 10 minutes he came in as to remember and the image so children are if we
you know we invite great Alama
pious people practicing people at home
this puts this image into the minds of the children that these are the people who should be followed. These are our role models. And the other thing we saw as well is that the house was filled with books if you want your students if you want your children to be Alama and she will then have books at home I grew up seeing on shelves I knew he died which is all too common to die I see a black cover I still remember four volumes black oh six seven years of age and I used to remember he's telling yellow pen I used to read and used to make these yellow yellow lines I was thinking what what afterwards I realized that he was the main you know the from the Shara which distinguishes
from the main text and the commentary. So you know those but I used to see as five is always sitting there choosing what is it doing with a yellow pen. This is a scribbling yellow pen.
My article Quran I still remember all these books are in my head the color as well. I never knew what they were but as you're growing up, you're seeing all these books at home. And this is also one of the ways of
disciplining of children.
And lastly
just not despite not being very wealthy. He spent and this is also nataka on your children. Spending on your children isn't a bother because the Hadith in Sahih Muslim, aligned with this point, the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam said NEFA cartoon.
There's one type of spending that you spend feasability Allah, whenever cartoon feel free Raghava wonderful cartoon and Dr. Ehrlich wonderful cartoon Allah miskeen. There's one type of expenditure that you spend in freeing a slave sometimes you spend money on poor there's another type of spending money which is in the path of Allah. And then the fourth type of spending is an early on your family. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Allah Maha urge Iran and Allah Hema and FAAC the who are the most rewarding in the sight of Allah is that money which you spent on your family?
Charity begins at home
hamdulillah all our life all the children, my family, my father, and he never there was no no
There was no, no in his vocabulary in his dictionary, as long as it did not
violate Sharia.
There was no no, anytime you want anything, always, yes, I still cannot remember ever he will say no for anything, unless it was harmful for me or he was wrong or sinful when it came to sinful activities, and hamdulillah Allah gave him Baraka in his money. He wasn't rich, but Baraka. Why? Because he never spent his money on haram things and never had a TV at home. There's no TV licence, there's no, there's no mobile, you know, smartphones, there's none of that. He's not going here to relax and chill in different places. So, when we practice deen and we don't sin, there's Baraka in the money and automatically money is saved. People complain about you know, financial crisis and
poverty etc. I say that, you know, stop spending on things which are haram and mcru, you'll save a lot of money.
So he always spent and specially when he came to D. There was never, never any hesitation.
All of our siblings, all of us we studied, there's fees involved. I remember I went to study Syria.
I just said, I'm going to study so people asked me afterwards that how did you find yourself?
Nothing my father gave me. I was renting a house. I spent two years in Syria. I never had to worry about anything. Anywhere you want to study, I went to Pakistan to study, don't worry, all the money, I'll give it to you. You want to study anywhere, anything to learn D? Don't worry about it, all the money will come from me.
But if it's to do Dunia, then no.
He would never give me money to go and buy a football jersey. No. I remember when I was young I somebody I really wanted a Liverpool Jersey talk.
And, of course, he was very strict about these kinds of things.
And one friend gave it to me and I tried to hide it at home I was about seven, eight years of age. And when he found out he took scissors, and he cut it into like 20 pieces and into the when
I was about seven years of age, of course, times have changed a bit. And now you know, the way of tarbiyah might be different to like nowadays, but no no football, I used to sneak out of the house to go to some of my friend's house to go and watch the you know, final of the World Cup or some football matches. But he was very strict about those kinds of things very disciplined. But at the same time very loving, very loving. Islamic matters very discipline, but in on a personal basis. extremely loving. You can ask all the children, every under grandchildren.
Every day he asks about everyone's well being until his old age.
Did you eat Have you eaten with me? It was always to the point I was thinking, relax, like Have you eaten? Have you eaten? And my mother used to say that his eating is eating? Why are you worrying so much for now given this give him that my mother is saying to him that is eternities? Okay, don't worry. And then my mother tells me as well that he's he just doesn't scale by you eating he loves you too much. But every time I come into the house Have you eaten give him t give him this give him that to the point my final conversation on the day before
he went into that unconsciousness state which was on a Saturday, midday
was it Saturday midday? Yes. On Friday Mashallah. There's you know, brothers here who were there with him on Friday. He wasn't a very good state. He came after Joe Marsala. He was jovial, he was smiling. He was making jokes they brought him tea as well.
And mashallah, you know, he spoke quite a bit but then I had to go London because I had to go and teach on Friday evening. I met him four o'clock. I didn't tell him we were in London. I said, I'm just going Inshallah, I'll come back. I came back at night. Because you know, to tell you, I'm going to London etc. Right now.
And
so the last there was nobody at home everybody had left. My mother came downstairs, give him soup.
He hasn't probably had soup he hasn't had hasn't eaten getting soup.
So I said no, no, I'm fine. I'm going down shortly does not have some soup and then go have some soup and go I just took one sip and I left. And I came back that night and then Saturday in the morning I went but you know the parents were there and so I couldn't go in. I left I had another online classes to teach. And then after that I came back at after the hub at one at 130 and he was in that state of unconsciousness and all the brothers were there and then took him to the hospital. There are some
Things from his life a lot of people here know him by most albidum.
Back in the day,
I remember that one story as well. There's many stories that was like disciplining. I was seven, eight years of age. I miss my salah and I was playing outside the Jama Masjid in the carpark if he was needing all the five prayers. He came, I think it was mostly Russia. He came outside straight off the Father. were easy. And I'm with my friends. And my friends always say that, look, we have difficulty playing with you. Because we play with you, we all get in trouble because your dad keeps on coming and you know, spoiling again.
So, you know, just you sort yourself out.
He came outside and everybody ran because everybody was scared of him that time, then all the children
must have run, run, run everybody. When am I gonna run.
I just standing there, he took me by the air to three slabs and how we buy the ear from the front entrance of the masjid, inside at the back. Have you got to go and do and then I came back. And he's standing there watching the prayer three to come over it right now in front of everybody.
That time I was probably thinking by his view, he remained a few minutes waiting me in front of everybody.
But today we make dua for
you make dua that way he did was putting in less than what was required. And if Allah has given us anything, then it's because of the baraka and the blessings and the tarbiyah of our children. And lastly, the DUA This is my final final point. I wrote this about this other day that when we lose parents, or teachers
we don't just lose them. We lose we lose them to us.
When we lose parents or children
or sorry parents or teachers, we don't lose just them we lose their to us. There's a hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said certain people the DUA is definitely accepted by Allah. And there is no doubt one of them is a parents do all for their children that were two valid and all parents they make sincere dua. Therefore in life, you find things are very easy.
But a lot of people have said that when your parents passed away, if you come across and face trials and tribulations, why those doors have stopped.
May Allah subhanaw taala make it easy for all of us. And like it was requested, we should make dua for him. Father figure of last 4748 years of service in the city of Leicester
50 years more or less five decades.
A lot of Treadmill a lot of service
and therefore we owe him this. We should make dua for him constantly. As much a solid toa we can do which means recite Surah yes he recited any Quran like you know in Ramadan, we are reciting the Quran we do items until our make an intention that this years Hutton or as many items we are doing dedicated to the rule of Hazzard Rahim Allah to Allah. If you make that intention then in sha Allah ordering and he receives all the rewards and it's good for us doesn't mean that our rewards gets decreased. Make an intention of any good deeds you do for him at least this Ramadan. At least we owe him that much inshallah.
And the second thing is that continue
following on his advices and guidance, especially for the students, whatever we learned
from his teachings follow in their footsteps. Dean is until you will pay Arma when the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam passed away. Oh, Bacardi Allahu Anhu gave a hoot about I'm ending this in 30 seconds. I know it's two minutes left over karate Allah who gave a quote about and he said, mankind AR blue Mohammedan for inner Mohammed and Padma womankind AR was ALLAH for in Allah Hi EULA moot. He said to the Sahaba all you Sahaba whoever used to worship Muhammad sallallahu alayhi salam, he has left this world whoever used to worship Allah, Allah is Hallo mode, he's still alive and he never dies. So Allah is still there. And therefore those people who are you know very close to
students and hardens who feel an emptiness I know that's there but still do not make this incident make you raver or become weak and God rather make you strong. You shouldn't weaken that human You shouldn't be like despondency and now I'm not doing as you know, because he was there and he was the he was a means of our guidance. But Allah is that may Allah subhanaw taala give us the ability to practice on what we said is aku located on the Santa Monica Mountains