Mufti Menk – Would You Delete a Contact because Your Wife said so?

			Assalamu alaikum if your wife were to tell you to delete a certain contact from your phone, would
you do that? And if your husband were to ask you to delete a certain contact from your phone, would
you delete that? Well, I want to tell you that, whose relationship do you value more? Number one?
Number two is? What is the reason they're asking you to delete the contact? Have you had
inappropriate communication with that person? Is it necessary to be in touch with that person? What
are you gaining from the relationship or the connection or the contact with that particular person?
Now, if you've come together in marriage with someone, surely they are important, they're supposed
		

			to be the most important person within your social circles. So the prophets of Allah Salam says, Hi,
eurocom eurocom, Li Li, the best from among you is he or she who is best to his spouse or her
spouse. Now, if that is the case, then surely being the best to your spouse would mean, if they
requested and recommended or asked you to delete a contact or to stop communicating with a
particular person, then you would definitely take that seriously. And if you didn't have any
meaningful, constructive, highly beneficial communication with the person, they're asking you to
delete from your device, or from your context, you would actually then delete it for their sake, to
		

			make them happy. Because to make your spouse happy, you would become one of the best people, right?
As per the Hadith of the Prophet, sallAllahu, alayhi wasallam. And it's not in the transgression of
Allah, in fact, it's probably going to draw you closer to Allah, by deleting someone whom your
spouse feels, is going to be a problem in your relationship with your spouse. So many people say,
I'm not going to do that, you know, that's okay. It's up to you do what you want, you can go home if
you want. All those statements are not the statements of a wise, responsible person, you think about
who is asking you to do what, and some people say, Don't let your spouse control you Well, to be
		

			honest with you, if what they're asking you is going to make them happy when you fulfill it, and
it's not something Haram, it's reasonable, you're not going to suffer a major loss. If you do that,
then come on, consider it, do it for their sake. And for the sake of your relationship. Don't be,
you know, a person who wants to come across as very tough to say, I will do what I want, who are
you, when I'm your spouse, Subhana Allah and I'm requesting it. If my spouse were to request me to
cut communication with a particular person, I would chop it off. If they were to say, delete this
contact, it's gone. It's history. Because, for me, my relationship with my spouse would actually
		

			mean, you know, the best relationship with my spouse would mean, I am a very good person based on
the advice of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam. And his instruction. I mean, I didn't marry
for nothing. May Allah subhanho wa Taala, grant us an understanding. So this is why I'm here to tell
you today, if your spouse is saying, delete this contact deleted. And if for some reason you feel
that it's going to be a very big loss, if you don't explain to the spouse without screaming without
yelling, you know, explain to them why exactly you need it. And you need to understand all they're
trying to do is protect you from communication that would either lead to something wrong, or that
		

			would hurt them.
		

			May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy. And notice how I haven't only spoken about wives or only
husbands but both. And the same would apply Subhana Allah if we cared for someone and they asked us
to do something, surely we would do it, it would make them happy. So what about a spouse? Surely we
should be caring about our spouses, our children, our family members and so on. May Allah subhanho
wa Taala grant us a deep understanding the best from amongst you, those who are best to your
spouse's. I know some people don't really think of that. But if you were to ponder over those words
of the Prophet peace be upon him. Indeed, they would be really, really beneficial. They would change
		

			the way you do things before I end, let me tell you that don't just go through the devices of your
spouse's unnecessarily. It's not something that's recommended at all. Don't spy it is prohibited.
Don't try to pry and look into what they're doing. That's also wrong. But at the same time, don't
tell them to delete contact just to see whether they listen to you or do something when there is no
need.
		

			For that, if there is no need for it, then leave it. Learn to be trusting. Learn to be a person who
does not just issue instruction or request things without proper reason. If there's a reason and
handler, but don't be unreasonable by asking your spouse to just delete this cut that contact
cutters and cut that, because of your check in your doubts, no, don't have doubts, he may Allah
subhanho wa Taala, grant us ease. However, my brothers and sisters, all of us have communication
with the opposite * those whom we are not related to, for purposes of something beneficial,
whether it's work, whether it's something that we need, etc. Keep it respectful, make sure that it
		

			is respectful and make sure that it is well within what would please Allah subhanho wa Taala.
Because human kindness is such that you can easily fall into a new level that may not be so pleasing
to Allah subhanho wa Taala anymore. So for that case, or for that reason, we must make sure that we
are transparent in our relationships, and that we understand how to prioritize. I've struck the
balance here, number one telling you that we should consider what our spouses would be happy with
number two is telling you that when you want to ask your spouse something Don't be unreasonable in
that request, may Allah make it easy for every one of us in our relationships. The most beautiful
		

			people are those who have the most blessed relationships with their families, the greatest
understanding the most
		

			tolerant and at the same time, respectable to each other respectful, you're filling, fulfilling each
other's rights in a beautiful way and beyond just the rights. You have a relationship that's
amazing. May Allah grant every one of us that goodness Apollo Kohli hava Sala Lahore Elena Vina
Mohammed was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.