Mufti Menk – When Religious People Attack You

			Assalamu Aleikum my brothers and sisters, many times people say don't judge me. It's true. We're not
supposed to be judging people. But sometimes what people do is they run away from advice, using the
excuse of being judged. So they say, Don't judge me when there was no judgment passed. But it was
just a piece of advice. However, the bigger problem is religious people who tend to attack others
and pass judgment, without listening to the other side of the story. If you are not prepared to
listen firsthand, when I say firsthand, I mean directly from the people involved from all of them
involved, you cannot arrive at a judgment or make a conclusion, remember this. So what happens? I
		

			give you my own example, people will pass judgment about me and say that he is like this, he is like
that he perhaps, you know, even has left the fold of Islam. And it's quite, you know, I hear that
quite often today, somebody sent me a message, saying that you're not a Muslim. And, you know,
you're you've given up the faith because of this. And I'm thinking to myself, they've already made
their mind up before even asking you, if what they heard from a second third source was correct,
number one, or if the interpretation of what they read about you, even if it was from you, is
actually correct. Or if they, the interpretation of what they heard from you is actually correct.
		

			without listening, or giving you a chance to answer or to respond, they've already passed judgment.
So what is happening is, these so called religious people, remove you and die from the fold of Islam
saying, We're not Muslims.
		

			And to me, this is not just a judgement, but it's such a big blunder. It is, it is a sickness and
the disease among the so called religious they love, they love to look for any small factor that
will take people out of the fold of Islam, when we're taught to look for any small reason that would
actually consider the people Muslim, and keep them within the fold of Islam. I want to say that
again, you and I are taught to look for any reason to consider a person a Muslim, whereas the so
called religious of today, a lot of them look for any excuse to take you out of the fold of Islam.
And that's where the problem lies. We're all struggling to hold on to our faith. We're all learning
		

			we all make mistakes, we all correct ourselves, we all apologize, we all have the sense given to us
by Allah. And we thank Allah for granting us belief. But what is of utmost importance is when others
discourage us by already removing us from the fold of Islam, already declaring us a stray, calling
us dogs and cats and whatever else it might be, which is actually wrong. What happens is they make
it easier for people to quit, and for people not to come back because instead of encouraging them to
get closer to the Almighty, they've actually encouraged them to quit. They've discouraged them from
anything to do with the closeness to the Almighty. My brothers and sisters, it is a disease. Ask
		

			yourself, do you judge people without giving them a chance to clarify rectify before that, I want to
say if it does not concern you leave it you don't need to comment. You don't need to come in today.
As you know, the world is changing. People are seeing so many different things. Sometimes it's a
legitimate interpretation of the deen. And sometimes it's a mistake, according to you, and sometimes
you might be wrong. So if you know that what you're doing is right, and this thing doesn't affect
you, etc. Leave it. If you feel the person is wrong, you can do one of two things, or maybe a few
more things. But one of two things I would do number one is present the truth without mentioning
		

			what you actually heard about the person. We don't want to degrade someone. We don't want to
dishonor someone, we want to give them the benefit of the doubt.
		

			But at the same time, we want to make it clear that this is the truth. This is what I believe is the
truth. This is what I believe should be the proper interpretation. So what happens if we don't do
this?
		

			Then we end up creating confusion. The second thing that I was gonna say the first one is to present
the truth without talking about what the person might have done. The second thing is perhaps
		

			to address it in a way that would mention the mistake that you believe the person made, without
taking the name of the person, you don't need to take the name. The reason is, what's your
intention? Is it to help people? Or is it to discredit people? Is it to make the truth clear, and to
speak how you feel? That which is a mistake is a mistake. So if you want to make the truth clear,
for the sake of Allah, you don't need to embarrass a person. You don't need to name someone and try
and shame them. But rather, you give them the benefit of the doubt. Or you can mention that wrong
opinion and say, Look, according to what I've heard, someone has said this, I believe it's a
		

			mistake, because I believe this is what is correct. Unfortunately, we swear, we call people dogs, we
call people whatever else, you know, pigs and monkeys. And to be honest, we cannot say that people
are dogs and pigs and monkeys no matter what. We cannot say that may Allah subhanho wa Taala. Grant
us an understanding, you know, if the Almighty has perhaps, warned people of a punishment, you and I
cannot sit and give people warnings as though we are the ones who own the warnings. Yes, we can
relate to what the Almighty has said, Indeed. But the point I'm raising is we hear something,
there's a difference of opinion. Without even clarifying it. We want to swear people, we want to
		

			condemn them completely and take them out of the deal. sometime back, someone sent me an article of
a sister. I don't know the sister, I got to know her. Well. I got to know about her later on
somewhere in the first world. And they said, Look, this sister has
		

			actually done this thing here. I said, Look, my brother, it doesn't concern us. But if you want as
an oma, we can somehow advise people in a nice way. Regarding doing good. No, I want you to mention
her name because it's a fitna, I said, Why should I mention this person's name? For what I haven't
spoken to her? I haven't given her the the chance to clarify her position. And I don't even I
haven't followed her. I haven't really seen what made her do what you claim she did. And you want me
to name her and shame her. I'm doing a disservice. I fear the last day I fear the Day of Judgment, I
fear the day I'm going to meet Allah, what am I going to say? I mean, I'm worried so much about my
		

			paradise, I really want to go into paradise. How can I condemn someone and say, you know, you're an
evil person, because you did this when I haven't even given them a chance. The basic principle is
give people a chance to clarify themselves. And secondly, I said, Look, it doesn't concern me, but
because people look up to us as leaders, we can mention it positively about modesty about so many
other things. And, you know, that particular system might feel that Yes, she is within the framework
of what is right. And I may have misinterpreted completely. Over time, I decided to let me go and
see what that sister is actually doing just for my own interest. And I found you know what, maybe I
		

			might not do it that way. But she did it in a way according to her environment, community,
understanding, she did it to promote the deen to promote Islam to promote Allah subhanho wa Taala
his message. So why should I have actually condemned someone, this person, the brother who told me
he says you're lost, you're siding with Bothell, which means you're siding with that which is false
and wrong. And you know, you're not supporting the cause of the deed. I said, my brother, we don't
need to condemn people. We don't need to mention their names. You can positively say something
people are fed up of listening to refutations, have you noticed how some so called scholars have
		

			been students of knowledge have dedicated their lives to reputations, their reputation lists, you
know, reputation is everything is reputation, and they don't respect difference of opinion. But
worse than that, they don't even want to listen to what you've said. They don't want to ask you,
they don't have access to you. So they're so desperate to just refute and to make it to make it seem
like their strength is depicted by their ability to refute another person and not their ability to
project goodness in a positive way. So let's be very careful, this is something I'm extremely
passionate about. We don't want to condemn people just like that. We don't want to judge people. If
		

			you really have to pass a judgement you can only do so by listening to all sides within the dispute
without prejudice. Listen to everyone and if you understand completely, and you were asked to pass a
judgement you may do so after all of that. Number one if it doesn't concern you, please leave it
number two. If it does concern you address it respectfully. Listen to my brothers and sisters
develop a habit, those from amongst us who are students of knowledge or scholars. Do not please do
not attack others you can present the truth and present what you believe is falsehood and refute it
as well in a positive way. You don't need to answer
		

			embarrass people, you don't need to scream and yell at people, you don't need to swear people, you
don't need to call them bad names. Among the Muslims, we even have different sects, different sects,
some we have very, very strong disagreements with, we don't need to swear, we don't need to be
literal, we don't need to, you know, spew hate in that sense, you can present the truth and what you
believe, and you can present why you believe they are wrong. In the past, I've made that mistake
where I've said certain things about certain people, for example, I disagree with some of the the
sects that we have. But rather than calling some of their leaders or some of their people bad names,
		

			or just a rumor, you may have heard of them, you call them a bad name. And like I said, I have
fallen in this in the past, but we learn as time passes, you don't need to use bad names. You don't
need to just listen and try and attack a person, you have something they've said, you can tackle it,
I'm not saying don't, you can say look, I disagree because of XYZ. But do it respectfully. That's
all I'm saying. You can actually disagree in a beautiful way mentioned the goodness and mentioned
what you believe is wrong, and why you believe it's wrong. And why you believe this is goodness, and
you're done.
		

			In this way, we've maintained that level of respect amongst mankind, even people of other faiths,
you don't need to call them dirty names, you don't need to swear them and, and belittle and so on,
that's not the aim. Anyway, getting back to amongst us, we have certain people and I want you to
develop a habit, my beloved brothers and sisters, when you hear the students have knowledge, or the
scholars, you know, attacking another person mentioning their name and attacking them, and they
haven't even heard from them. I've seen refutations of myself. And I tell myself, this person didn't
try to call me they've passed the judgment, they didn't try to understand what I've said, they
		

			didn't even attempt to give me the benefit of the doubt. So it goes to show they have you know, what
you call sour grapes, they're actually upset, they actually have a jealousy within them, I would
like to put it down to that they actually have a sickness within them. Because if you're not
prepared, I give everyone the benefit of the doubt as far as possible. But if you're not prepared to
give people the benefit of the doubt, you have an ailment, you need to rectify yourself, and we who
cheer the scholars on and some of the students of knowledge we cheer them on, we keep on you know,
wow. Why do we do that when someone is actually causing harm to the oma to this mother nation, that
		

			we have a beautiful globe that we have when someone is attacking others left, right and center? Did
you speak to this person directly? No, I didn't want them to keep quiet. Have you tried to contact
them? If yes, I did. But they didn't respond well, then it means they probably didn't see the
message. And even if there is a clarification to be made, it didn't come to you. You can you can
refute. But you don't have to arrive at a conclusion and mention a name and try to create disaster.
You know, like I say, name and shame. You want to mention the name because you're going to become
important. Well, you know, I have done reputations of so many different people and this man, that
		

			man and so on and so forth. And this is the sickness we have. I mean, there is a brother there right
now, who's sent some?
		

			What do you call them emojis that are negative. Okay, those of you who are watching this live
session may have seen those. It doesn't bother me. He's he swearing himself. Really, they're
swearing themselves, it's not my character. I'm not going to drop my character based on your
negativity. It's a sickness within you. If you think that it's befitting to swear me right now, then
obviously, you are the person who's not well, so my brothers and sisters, all I'm calling for is
let's not judge people without proper process due process. number one. Number two is if you're not
prepared to make the effort to meet the people to talk to them personally, to find out from them
		

			directly to actually look at how and what they've said or they've done and to look at the
circumstances surrounding their lives. There are people amongst us who are trying very hard to
please the Almighty, but their circumstances are so tough, they are slowly inching forward. I
promise you. When I think of the tortoise and the hare, I always say there are people who will
arrive in gentlemen, slowly but surely, and others who are dotting across might get stuck in the
last minute, may Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, grant us success. So my brothers and sisters,
remember this, let's not, you know, create this problem and this disaster of passing judgment. And
		

			on the other hand, when people advise us, let's take the advice you can advise people, that's the
other thing. You can give them good advice, you can tell them Look, my brother, I believe that this
is the way things should be done. And a lot of the times advice is to be done in a private way. And
if it is a public thing, you can advise publicly in the sense that you don't have to say this
brother, I've given him this advice wherever you go to form them or contact them, and you've got to
		

			communicate with them and send them the advice directly. Because if the whole world knows you've
advised them, but they don't know that you've advised them, then you're wasting your time. So
genuine advice is normally when people advise people, or others in a private way, if you're doing it
in a public way without mentioning names, you know, the professor Sullivan, he came out and says, my
bottle of wine, you know, what is it with certain people that are doing this and they're doing that
he didn't say the names, he didn't want to name them shame them.
		

			So this is how it is I To be honest, like I said yesterday, and I'm going to repeat it now at the
end of the session. If you were to swear me to be honest with you, it doesn't hurt me. If you were
to refute call me names say I'm out of the phone, say I'm a stray whatever ever. Trust me. My aim is
to please Allah. It's okay. If you are a genuine person, you will advise me You might send me an
email with beautiful advice and I take that advice. If you're a genuine person, you will call me you
will have a feeling for me. You will love me in the same way that I love you and you will think you
know, let me try and help the brother and if we do have a genuine difference of opinion and they are
		

			still we will agree to disagree and we will still respect each other. I disagree with so many people
but I don't need to swear them. I don't need to you know spew hate against them but I disagree.
		

			May Allah guide those and bless those who want to swear us guide them in a way that they can learn
and they can understand that we're not like them, I promise you we're not like we're not like that.
And the reason I'm saying it is I can see people who have been quite derogatory one or two of them,
the rest of you Mashallah diabolical. May Allah bless you guys anyway, I need to go but it's been
lovely, lovely. Having this live session and inshallah I'll post it up on YouTube shortly. Move to
make aro x that's the YouTube channel. May Allah subhanho wa Taala Bless you all tomorrow again with
a different subject but a California Santa Monica