Mufti Menk – UNplugged #03 Should our wives be hearing this!

			Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah he
salatu salam. So I'm sitting with my habibi. Mashallah, hello, my dearest friends with this finding
		

			a topic that has been on my mind for a long time, it's actually a long overdue to speak about it in
public. So that's the, that's the highlight of the whole issue is that I wanted to speak about this
in public and that is to send number one a dua for my wife, the May Allah subhanaw taala bless you,
and may Allah Subhana Allah reward you for all the support if you have given me ever since I decided
to walk through in the in the path of doubt. And I looked into the life of the prophet muhammad
sallallahu sallam, and he was never ashamed to publicly my phrase, his wives, publicly send those
messages of love and compassion. Even after the death of Khadija, the Allahu Allah.
		

			He maintained that loyalty, so, Chipman Bismillah, why, in some cultures Subhanallah I'll even find
some Muslims, they feel ashamed of even mentioning the name of the wives in public, you know,
subhanAllah, when brother wife told me earlier, I want to do a video, he didn't tell me what it was.
I'm just hearing this now. So to speak about your wife, even with her name, and so on. Obviously,
there is nothing wrong, why some cultures don't like to mention the name, the see that it's out of
respect and so on. But you could have a pen name, meaning you could have a pet name, you could have
a nickname, which is also part of the Sunnah. Sometimes people don't want the public to know the
		

			name of their wife, right? That's okay. But if someone thinks it's haram from an Islamic
perspective, then they are wrong. It's not haram from an Islamic perspective to say, to call your
husband or wife by their names, but in some cultures, they just consider it disrespectful because of
cultural reasons, like I say, because
		

			they rather call them on fallen on for Lana mother of so and so, which is also part of the Sunnah.
But it does not negate the permissibility to use the first name, I mean, that is the name so that is
there.
		

			But unfortunately, some people think it's haram to call your wife with a first name and even to
praise her or to mention her in public. And the same applies the other way were some of the women
think that you cannot call your husband by his first name. It's a cultural matter, not a religious
matter in religion, you are allowed to call your husband by his first name.
		

			That's the whole reason why he was named in the beginning why we named the person when they were
born. You know, that's, it's a sacred moment when you're giving a name that hadith says give a
proper good name because you will be called by that name on the day of Kiama, as hola and when the
as the prophets Allah Allah salaam, who is the most beloved person to your heart, he immediately
said, I Aisha, you know, and it's amazing how even my own family, I always like to talk about how
much they sacrifice as well, it's not easy, because a lot of the times you travel, you're unable to
travel, not like you don't want to travel with your spouse, but you're unable to travel with your
		

			family members, because they are either busy, they have something they're doing, they're committed
to the children, they're committed to some other things. And because of that, you end up being going
alone or going with a team of people who are not made up of your immediate family. It's not easy. So
may Allah reward all of you and reward yes to. And this is exactly the reason why I'm taking this
video in public. And this is why I did not mention anything about the topic before actually hitting
the recording button because I wanted it to be a bit personal now. So I want I want I want our wives
to hear this message publicly. We love you for the sake of Allah, we admire your sacrifices. And we
		

			speak about it behind the camera a lot. Wait a minute, if I correct you, yes, we love our families.
Yes, for the sake of Allah and for our own sake.
		

			But the point is, we speak about about you, my dear Sisters in Islam and the wife behind the camera
Allah that I thought like if the Prophet SAW Selim would praise these wives in public, then I think
we should take that stand. Well, I think one thing that I always do and my my family does not know.
One thing that I always do is I always mentioned them in a positive way to everyone else. And this
is something you need to know you know,
		

			to speak about your spouse in in public or behind their backs in the most positive way, actually is
one of the best gifts you could give them. Sometimes they need to hear Yeah, and or sometimes they
need to hear most of the time, but it's good for them to hear it from another
		

			The party you know, your husband was talking so highly of you, and they start feeling good.
Unfortunately, our friends are such they wouldn't say anything, they will only mentioned ugly stuff.
But we don't talk about never. So the main intention was to, there was a video that was posted
earlier about the sacrifices, the challenges that we face in Dawa, and part of those challenges
actually leaving our family behind, traveling around, and not not spending time with them. So it's a
chance now from across the ocean, sending this message of love and respect and admiration for the
sacrifice. May Allah bless you all, and even even our family, our children, Allah, He will love you
		

			to pieces to bits and pieces, every single one of you. I'm talking of my children, brother, wives,
children and the others who work in with us in our field.
		

			We love you to bits, the fact that we might not be there all the time is something that we don't
like, but we were out fee, Sabina. I mean, there are others who are out for different reasons. In
this case, not only do we pray for you every single day, or sometimes a few times in the day, and
every single one of you, but we would we we miss you so much. We wish that we could have two of us
so that we could, you know, have half there and how but Allah has kept it this way here Inshallah,
it's in a good cause we pray that Allah protect you and grant you elevation and goodness and success
that's to our children. I mean, I know.
		

			Even your children, they're going a little bit older. They look at me as an uncle, my children, too,
they love you. And, you know, they, they look at us as uncles to them. I mean, the father is there,
but even the other mache, the kids know that this is my father's colleagues and so on. And they they
love them, they follow them and they learn from them. So it's really a good thing to mention your
wife and your children, your family members in as a whole hamdulillah Zachman Long Island. May Allah
subhanaw taala make every step that we take in the path of Dawa and the scale of your deeds? I mean,
Alba mean, does that mean? One more thing? Yes, my mom and dad are still alive, mashallah May Allah
		

			bless them and give them a good, long, healthy life, to continue to serve Him. And even to guide us.
I usually spend every day that I'm at home in my country, I usually spend
		

			about two hours, one and a half to two hours after solid Asia with them,
		

			almost without fail. And unfortunately, I travel a lot. So sometimes we don't get a chance to do
that. But still, you know, we really highly respect them. And we, I do believe that it's very
important to sit with your elderly parents, no matter how old you are. Just listen to them, what
they have to say, just
		

			you know, they will ask you about your day, they will pray for you, they will give you lots of
goodness, your parents being alive is the gift of Allah. For them to look at you with the eye of
coolness is something that is unmatched. And for you to look at them. Also with that I have love
respect and the coolness of your own eyes, in your parents, they will always pick on a few things,
they will guide you it might not be so sweet to listen to what they have to say because they are
still your parents, you are still their baby no matter how old you are. So listen and appreciate and
give them that moment. And I know that in some cases this might not be so applicable because there
		

			are some cases where maybe parents have really abused their children in some cases and there is the
link was severed because of them. But Alhamdulillah Allah make it easy for everyone Allahumma I
mean, because I can log on for listening our wives first before anyone else and inshallah include us
in your diet does that law Highland sure crunchy
		

			for raising this topic. You know, I was I started blushing when you said your wife and so on.
		

			I didn't want to give the public their names so I'll handle
		

			Zack