Jumu’ah Lecture from Bosmont Masjid
Mufti Menk – Speak Good
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of moderating behavior and avoiding mistakes in order to create love between people. They also mention the negative impact of social media on people's perception of oneself and offer advice on how to avoid mistakes. They stress the need for moderation and avoiding mistakes in order to create a professional and meaningful relationship.
AI: Summary ©
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah, he was happy Jemaine, we praise Allah subhanho wa Taala we send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his entire household, all his companions, we ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, to bless them all, and to bless every single one of us to grant us goodness, my beloved brothers and sisters, once again, it is only an honor and a pleasure to meet this beautiful oma and this beautiful community. The community of possum on May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless you all, and grant you all goodness. And the same for the rest of the oma. I mean,
you and I know that we are all part of one family, somewhere up the ladder, you know, that we belong to a single set of parents. And Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks about this. Now, today, if you were told, who is this person sitting next to you, and if that person was your real brother, you would, I think, in most cases, be honored to say this is my brother, one mother, one Father. And you would then be told, oh, he looks like you. Wow, I can see the similarity. And then you would say, Well, you know, the apples don't really fall far from the tree or whatever else you would say showing that you are connected. We all have similarities. We all have eyes, noses, you know, lips, teeth, hands,
the head way it is and so on. We are all part of the same species. And Allah subhanho wa Taala has kept even more similarities where you would know if you come from a specific area and your roots have been there for many years, perhaps you will be connected to people and connection that you might not exactly know how but you do know we are connected somehow. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding why do I start like this? To show you that all of us are family, we all need to have a genuine feeling for one another. We will never ever be the same in what how we think in our likes, our dislikes, in perhaps sometimes our inclinations, etc. We may disagree. Sometimes we
may strongly disagree, just like we do with real brothers. How many of us have real brothers and sisters whom we strongly disagree with? It's possible, but there is no need to become ugly, my beloved brothers and sisters, I would like to spend the next few moments speaking about the etiquettes of difference of opinion and how we should be treating one another bearing in mind we all come from Adam alayhi salatu salam, Allah subhanho wa Taala says at the beginning of Surah Nisa
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people be conscious of You're the one who made you nourishes you cherishes, sustains, provides protects, be conscious of your up Who has created you from a single soul, and from that soul, its spouse, and from the two of them he caused the multitude of male and female, to be more to spread across the earth. Subhan Allah, this is Allah subhanho wa Taala. In another verse, Allah Subhana Allah Allah says in Surah 200 what Jana commission
Baba Isla Anita, he starts off by saying oh people, we have created you from a single male and a female and we have made you into nations and peoples in order that you may know one another you may recognize one another, the differences you have in color, only to recognize one another. The differences you have in features only to recognize one another because if everyone was to be created identical, you would not be able to recognize one another. So to make it interesting, Allah made one tall one short the other one a little bit this way that way, dark and light and so on. Notice I didn't say fat and thin. May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless as well now I said it. So my brothers and
sisters, what's of importance is to know Allah doesn't like you.
Allah doesn't say that he doesn't like you. Sorry, Allah subhana wa Jalla doesn't say he doesn't like you because of how you are or because of where you were born because of your complexion. The same applies to every one of us. We cannot hate someone we cannot dislike them based on their nationality based on and when I say nationality, I mean coincidence of birth. I was born perhaps in a country say I am a Zimbabwean It doesn't mean that because Zed is right at the bottom of the alphabet. Now we don't like this guy anymore. That's it. It doesn't mean that it was not my fault that it was bonded. It was our last choice. That's why some people argue no national
analogies something that's man made, we're not supposed to be looking at it exactly. You're not supposed to be discriminating based on someone's nationality, there could be an American who's a better Muslim than someone who's a Saudi Arabian, it's possible, they could be a person who's a Saudi Arabian who's a better Muslim than someone who's a South African and vice versa. So it's got nothing to do with your nationality, your closeness to Allah, Allah says, in a comma,
lie at the most honored of you are those who are most conscious of Allah. So whoever, even if it means a brother or a sister from the depths of Soweto, or Khayelitsha, or wherever else we would perhaps consider the people may not be wealthy, they might be struggling in their in the way they are living, but they could be closer to Allah than all of us put together. That can happen. So remember this. Also, what is of interest to note is, What counts is how you die, not necessarily how you started off the race. I could have been running very fast at the beginning, but I slowed down near the end. And what happened, everyone else overtook me and I lost. So you don't judge people,
you always have hope. Even our own children, may Allah protect us all. Imagine someone's children or child happens to fall into drugs and alcohol, and you condemn them to the degree that you leave the light of coming back very dim, or you extinguish it. That would be foolish, you may want to take measures that would perhaps result in them knowing you are not happy with what's going on. You may want to take measures but you don't turn off the light to the degree that you say this is hopeless, callous, it's over and gone, you no longer my child forever and ever. I don't ever want to see you again. Who are you, Allah bless you with that child at the beginning as a test. I'm not saying don't
deal with the problem. Don't get me wrong, you deal with it. But you remember, at the end of the day, you have hope if the child comes back repentant, or anyone for that matter, comes back and repentant, it shall be accepted by Allah before you. So who are you to reject it?
The same applies, we make mistakes, you know, no matter what, we all make mistakes, I cannot hate a person because of a mistake they have made. Rather I dislike the mistake, but I have opened the person, I might want to stay away from the person if the damage of that particular bad habit of this can affect me too. I may want to say look, you know what, I don't like this person's habit. So therefore I'm going to stay away from that because I don't want to be affected by it. But I still have hope in sha Allah, may Allah bless them. And may Allah helped me in my own weaknesses. The reason is, a lot of people think you know what, that guy's a drunkard. But I don't have weaknesses.
No, we have other types of weaknesses. Remember this. So we need to help one another. We need to have hope with one another how a person passes away is how they will be resurrected. According to the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. If you pass away in a good condition, even if you've lived your whole life in a bad way, that was the will of Allah, that was some goodness you might have done. And Allah gave you goodness, it was personal hakima meaning you ended your life in a beautiful way you won the race. But if you started your life in a beautiful way and you die with a bottle in the hand, only Allah knows what he's going to do to you. But you and I would know that
that type of an ending is something no one would like May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us. So this is why my brothers and sisters learn to respect one another. Learn to understand, when you have a problem with someone, you don't throw the whole person away, you might want to protect yourself from that matter, and you will try and assist as best as you can, if you cannot assist the minimum as you may have for them. And like I said, You are allowed to stay away. But you don't throw the whole person away. You continue having hope, you know when the child has missed, for example, what do you do you throw the whole child away. Imagine the child is missed and you have talking about the
nappy. So you say this is Mr. Throw in the bin Come on, you can do that you will go and remove the nappy change it clean it and you still love the child is the child on top of that so can Allah but what happened there was a miss a very bad one, the child might have even missed you. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah grant is understanding you love your child while connected to the child.
So remember this if there is a scratch on the motor vehicle, it might reduce the value of the vehicle but you don't throw the car away. And if you want to please I'll give you my phone number afterwards you can call me so panela my brothers and sisters what is meant is your car will be scratched whether you buy a new one or whether it was scratches, it will be scratched at some point somehow small or big. There's going to be some form of usage which will result in definitely wearing and tearing a scratch here and there. It doesn't mean that you throw the car away because of the scratch. The same applies to us amongst ourselves. We all have scratches, these scratches are
different. Some people have something bigger, and some people have something smaller. Some people have things that
affect us. Some people have things that affect other people, not us. So does it mean that we now need to throw people away just because of a scratch? No, maybe the value might decrease. When I say value might decrease for us, we need to understand in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa Taala. The habit that is bad that the person has is what we will consider as bad. But we will always know if Allah once he can make this person become better than me and make me become worse than this person. And we've seen examples. We've seen people who started out very holy, so holy, that the same holds, they fell into May, Allah subhanho wa Taala, forgive us.
And we've seen others, they started off in the pit in the pit, and they became pious, they came out and they became people who don't miss a Salah. So learn to respect one another. My brothers and sisters, it's a very important point. I want to read for you part of a verse where Allah subhanho wa Taala says, What either do while Okay,
when you utter, you need to be just in your utterances, even if it is a relative.
in what context is this verse made mention of Let me tell you, for example, this man is my real brother, one mother, one Father, just an example. And then he has a problem with someone else. He has stolen someone's wealth. He has robbed, he has cheated, he has done wrong. What do I do? I come? And I say no, he's a good man, that man is bad. Just because he's my brother. I sided with him. And I said, words that were wrong. But in order to defend my brother,
you follow what we're saying? So I said, No, no, he's right. You guys are wrong. You guys are jealous of him. You guys are this you guys are that. And what happened? I know I'm lying. But I need to stand up because we believe Blood is thicker than water. In some of our communities. In Islam, that's not the case.
In Islam, blood might be thicker than water. But your deen is neither water nor blood, it is something beyond remember this. So the deal will be thicker than blood and blood may be thicker than water, depending on what you think water is. So remember this. So my brothers and sisters, I will stand up for you. Even if it happens to be against myself, or my own family members or someone influential, or someone else or together.
I will stand up for what is right and just that's what Allah is telling you. If it is right, it's right. The small boy can be right. And the man who is wealthy, influential, knowledgeable sometimes can be wrong, we all make mistakes. I told you, there are scratches everywhere. I need to be Muslim enough to say my brother, as little as this boy in front of you is I have to say he's right.
That's a Muslim. Notice what I said, we have to be Muslim enough to do that. That's when you're a proper Muslim. Similarly, I want to tell you something else. extremely important. When Allah subhanho wa Taala says, while I a god man I come Shanahan who come in Allah, Allah de de leeuw. Don't ever let your dislike of a nation or a people make you be unjust towards them.
Let me give you an example of that. So there's a certain nationality for example that I don't like. If I say that, and I think that for example, I am already a person who needs to work on easy man. Like I told you, you can't just hate people or there's a certain family I don't like this family. Hey, these guys are cooks. They love you added everyone including the unborn children. Do you know that? I don't like this family, watch out for them. This is a certain tribe or a clan. I don't like these people. These are words that people are taught that are dangerous. But Allah says even if for some reason you dislike some people, maybe you've had a bad example, be just with venom as well, at
the time of war, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam used to be just totally just, he did not harm anyone who put the weapons down. He didn't harm women and children. He didn't harm those who are not involved not at all hitting down them at all. And he said anyone who puts down their weapon is safe. So panela
and he fulfilled that he made sure it happened. If a Muslim attacked a non Muslim who wasn't involved or who had put their weapons down immediately. The Prophet sallahu wa sallam admonished the Muslim
It doesn't mean that even Muslim and a non Muslim have a problem. Then every time the Muslim is right in the non Muslim is wrong. Get that out of your system. That's that's a wrong idea. If a Muslim and a non Muslim event a dispute, justice, the truth
What is right will prevail. That is where you need to stand no matter who it's with. That is how the non Muslims will see the beauty of the deen these people are just that's what the Quran is saying. When you dislike people, when you have a difference with someone, don't just bombard them because of that. Everything. You threw away the whole car because there was a scratch. But that was a soprano love this make it a bit more interesting. That was an S 65 AMG. It just had a little scratch and you throw it away. Are you foolish? There are people amongst us who are as valuable as the S 65 AMG, I promise you and we throw them away because of one scratch. And we say this guy's an idiot, Don't
listen to him. This guy is someone else don't go into business with him. This guy is this don't this, that guy is a revert or a convert, don't even go near. This guy's like this, don't get married to him watch out for a scratch
for a scratch. Yes, if the chi is a write off, it's another issue my brothers and sisters, you need to know.
But even then we should understand there is value there is underlying value. I recall, a friend of mine who's a panel beater. There was a car written off. He looked at it and he told me Don't worry, we'll rebuild this thing will law he in a few months, he rebuilt it. And he brought it back. So Han Allah. So sometimes amongst us, there are some people who some might consider a write off, but a leader and a champion will have hope. And they will say you know what, I'll work on him. Don't worry, give me one or two years, if Allah wills, it's going to happen. And if it doesn't work, even if the champion of champions works on him, nothing's going to come. There are some people who look
at the positives in the most negative situation. And some people there is nothing negative, but they create negativity out of nothing in order to feel depressed and depressed. Other people watch out my brothers and sisters, be careful, let's understand become positive people, the old man is bleeding. You know why? Because for one scratch and for one difference, we throwing away entire communities. That's what we're doing. Let's build bridges. Rather than burn them, blow them up, throw them out, we're going to need them to cross my brothers and sisters remember this. So this is why these two very important verses one is do not side with your relative speak, just be just speak justice, even
if it means against your own relative. And the second verse is
speak the truth, even if it means for your enemy. Look at the two someone I don't like someone has stolen my money, right? So it doesn't mean he stole everybody's money. If someone stole my money, I have a case against him, or I have something you know, to resolve between the two of us. But when I see him doing business with someone else, and there's a deal that happened, I cannot just draw a conclusion when I see that, Mashallah. He's bought a new car. He's bought a new house, and I just say, you know what this guy was there stolen other people's monies. That's my sickness. I know that what happens nowadays, and it's been happening for the last 20 years. When you see a young person or
an elderly person, suddenly Allah bless them with sustenance, and they work very hard. And they happen to buy a car. They they actually think 20 times before they buy a new car because they're worried what's the my neighbor going to think about this, but they end up buying it because the Hadith says Leia Maha, Allah Allah, when Allah has blessed you as well. He wants to see it on you make use of it. Don't be stingy, miserly.
So when someone sees you, they should immediately know Mashallah, this person's got a little bit at least Allah bless them, but the way you talk must show that you are as humble as ever sapan Allah. So you might have a perfume that can be smelled before you are seeing Mashallah. But that doesn't mean your character must become ugly. You are humble, you can greet everyone greet whatever, you can at least smile at them, be good to them kind to them. And when someone ignores you, I'm going to just pause for a moment here when someone ignores you. And it happens nowadays, the age of the mobile phone, something very interesting happens. People are busy on their phones, right? So what
happens is, you greet them and Salaam Alaikum he looks you in the face and he walks away.
And you start saying this man is very bad. He ignored me. But this poor man, his mind was occupied. He just read a message. And he was thinking so deep about it that he did not notice you. Well, it happens to a lot of people.
And we thought bad so one is I need to greet us whoever I can. I need to be exemplary. But when someone else is not exemplary, do not jump to a conclusion that this person is bad. No, find an excuse for them. You know what he's so occupied. Next time when you talk to him, brother, are you sure everything's okay? He says Yes, it is. Are you sure? He says What do you mean? They're gonna ask you What do you mean? Say you know what? You mean, I thought you must have been so stressed because I passed you I greeted you. You just ignored me. But in my mind, I said this man must be occupied and he might know he might not know what the
exactly happened a my brother, please excuse me, I really I didn't notice. Excuse them, we about a one family. That's how I started the talk, excuse me. So going back to what I was saying, my brothers and sisters, remember the gift of Allah subhanho wa Taala, we have hope in every single human being because we draw our hope from Allah, ultimately, you do not lose hope, your job and my job on earth is to please Allah subhanho wa Taala. And to earn as many rewards as I can, before I die, Allah kept it such that a lot of my rewards are connected to how I treat or deal with or interact with the other human beings. A lot of my rewards are connected to them. That's why Salah
czaka and these type of ibadah They are also connected to a certain extent to human beings. Let me give you an example. When you come for Salah the Hadees is made sure the mouth is not smelling, make sure you are not smelling foul, etc. Why? Because there are other people going to be there. Look at how it's connected. When you're giving Zakah if there were no poor people what was going to happen to your money, keep it Imagine if everyone was rich, may Allah grant as well. I mean, well, that was quite a nice load on me. So I tell you something. Imagine if everyone was wealthy, and the richest of the last is a guy have given you a million says I'll give you 2 million. What are you giving me a
million for give you a million? there's going to come a day like that. When I told the youngsters, one youngster came to me after the talk. He says, When is that taken away? I said don't worry, work hard. So the point being raised was when people work hard and they buy a car after a long time. Then the neighbors and the Muslim jumma Muslims, they say I'm sure this guy's dealing in drugs. Have you heard that? I'm sure he's pushing drugs. But brother, On what grounds? Are you saying that? Are you just jealous? Did he steal your money, your wealth? Have you seen it with your eyes? Or he's just a rumor you have? The best thing is protect your mouth because the verse of Allah says, even if you
dislike someone, even if you're jealous of them, be careful. Don't utter words that are wrong against someone.
People label Some people say this guy is a drug addict. This guy's Do you know that? May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us a deeper understanding. When you see someone buying a new house, or they have a business or they have a new car, be happy for them. It's it's very few who will actually be happy. But we need to be from amongst those few. We need to be from amongst them because the Hadith says when you are saddened meaning you should not be saddened at the gain of your brother, nor should you be happy at the loss of your brother because perhaps Allah might test you
and help them out of that problem. Someone has a problem. And I'm so delighted it happens why this guy don't like him. So now he's sick. He comes in he can't walk and you say hello you answer my to ask I can't walk anymore. I say hey, how's your leg telling you stop troubling the people you will be both legs are going to go just now. Be careful. Be careful. Make sure they know already that what they are doing. They know what they are in. They are already dealing with it. You just have to say my brother May Allah grant you Shiva May Allah Subhana Allah bless you talk to others say look, no matter what this man is this and this and this. But in this particular case, let's make dua for his
Shiva. You know, like the English saying goes and even in other languages, when something really bad happens, they say, May Allah not let even my enemies see this. You heard that some people say that the people who are good hearts, you know, who have good hearts. Otherwise, you have the other ones who are not, who don't have such a good heart. So when they were told that you know what, whatever you ask for that enemy of yours, the guy you don't get along with is going to get double.
So he says okay, and he said, Oh, it's gonna be a tough one, this tough one, okay, I need a mountain of gold, you got the mountain of gold and the enemy got two mountains of gold. Then he says, I need a big house and a huge, you know, balance with so many rooms, everything done and so much and so much and every time someone must come in, give me so much and whatever else. And he got it and the neighbor got double.
He says now this is a problem, man. You see man wants to compete. We are rich, we are wealthy. But when someone is wealthier than us, suddenly they dragging they doing drugs. We working hard, but they bring drugs.
So then he says okay, I tell you what scared me half to death.
Scare me half to death. Are you scared after that? What happened to the friend? fellas? Give us
$1 forgive us. This shouldn't be the case. We shouldn't be so selfish. How much are you going to use? How much are you going to spend in your life? Really, if you ask a young person who's working now and perhaps the salary is 10,000 rands a little bit less, a little bit more, they will tell you in Sharla my dream first million I turn, wow, you know what? I'm going to retire. The only people in society will say hang on
By the time you earn a million we wonder what the rate is going to be. Especially the Zimbabweans we know about it. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us.
But man carries on and on, on and on the point being raised, be happy at the profit of others, be happy at other people's achievement. Don't throw people away based on a little problem that you have with them. I might have a problem with you. I might sort it out in a way that I'll become your best friend. And I might be your best friend today and I might have a problem with you and who knows tomorrow we may not be talking. This is why according to one narration incident activity with the prophet SAW Selim says when you love someone,
love them in moderation because one day, they may become your enemy. And when you hate someone when you dislike someone, dislike them in moderation, because one day, they may become your friends. They may become your best friends. This moderation What does it mean? It means Be careful, don't go beyond the limits. I like you I love you. So you know all my secrets. The day you and I have a problem you can hold me ransom might have a problem. I was foolish. No matter how much I love you there are limits certain things I don't have to you know, let you know Oh, detail. Amala come here. Let me inform you my secrets that come on. Same applies when you dislike someone, you don't have to
sway them and prep burn your bridges to the degree that is going to be embarrassing the day you want to make up with them again. You need to learn to be diplomatic, to a certain extent, that diplomacy that is permissible in Islam because some of diplomacy is not permissible. Some people lie, cheat, steal, deceive, and they say no, I'm just being diplomatic. That's not it. The diplomacy is supposed to be that which is within the limits of Islam. My brother, I may dislike you I may stay away from you. But at the I know that you are a human being Allah can create a relationship between us. I end with one verse. Allah says, as Allahu Allah ina como bien en la Vina de
de la de it is very possible for Allah to create love between you and the one you hate. Because Allah is all labor. That's the verse. Imagine what Allah saying someone you don't like. In a lot of us, every one of us we might have people whom we don't like to certain levels. Think of someone in your mind. And tell yourself I just heard the verse, Allah says, I can create a situation whereby there will be love between you and the one you hate. Because I am all abled, and you still have human beings here and Nikki's no ways, not this guy. Not at all. Allah subhanho wa Taala. Forgive us, by Allah subhanho wa Taala unite us, Allah keep us really as brothers with our differences. We
will discuss them without swearing one another. I want to in fact, I was going to end on that note, one more note came up in my head, you don't mind Do you? I tell you, when I don't like something you've done. something you've said, when I disagree. This can be from a religious perspective heading all the way down to something to do with a social matter.
Yes, I have every right to present my opinion. But if I'm a Muslim, and I'm an honorable person, I will present my opinion. I will present the evidence of it. I may I present your opinion and the refutation of it. But I won't mention your name. Because I don't want to insult you remember this? I don't want to insult you.
You may correct yourself, I may correct myself. But the names what would happen. The intention becomes insulting this man. And we find this a lot on on the globe today. And it's causing a lot of problems where people start mentioning names this guy, he's like this because he said that number one, Did he really say that? Number two, Did he really mean what you think he meant by it? There's so much to go through it. Do you know the man personally? Have you spoken to him? Have you clarified it? The answer is no. I just heard what they were saying. I respect the man who said it. I promise you even if I said something and you look up to me, if I've said something wrong, don't take it. If
I've said something ridiculous, don't take it.
You need to understand, you can ask me You can ask me to verify if I cannot discount it. discounting no matter we are not prophets. We are not prophets of Allah. We are perhaps if you want to take it to the highest point, you may want to call someone a scholar of the deen. That's where it would stop.
Someone who is knowledgeable.
You can never say they are flawless. Everyone makes mistakes. I am talking here today.
I don't have a piece of paper. I don't have anything in front of me to look at.
I may have made mistakes number one in the English language, meaning linguistic errors. Number two, a little a few errors here and there. It's common. It's normal. Maybe not the big one. And who knows if there was a big one, I would expect someone from amongst you to correct me. I would expect someone who hears this to email me
Or to contact me somehow and to present their opinion or to tell me Listen, I believe you made a mistake here. You read a verse and there was a slight discrepancy in the way you read it. Wow. Alhamdulillah I'm a human being, I will take it because it was done with respect. The minute we become ugly, no one wants to take that correction we create fitna we create problems we we we destroy an already fragmented oma, remember that. So those who build bridges are leaders, those who break the bridges, they will just create small groups and those groups will keep on becoming smaller and smaller because from two you'll get four and from four you get eight and from eight you get 16.
And that doesn't solve the problems of the oma May Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless us all. Or sallallahu wasallam albaraka Allah and Amina Mohammed