Mufti Menk – Short Advice at a Marriage

			smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah he was happy to join in we
always praise Allah subhanho wa Taala we send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam his household, his companions. We ask Allah to bless them to bless all of us to
bless the couple that are coming together in the sacred union of Nika this afternoon, and to bless
the offspring that will be resultant to bless all our children up to the end. May Allah keep us all
steadfast on the straight path. And may Allah grant us all general welfare, those my brothers, my
sisters, it is indeed a happy occasion. People have come from far and wide in order to be witness to
		

			this beautiful appreciation of the Nika rightly in the house of Allah subhanho wa Taala.
		

			The most important thing we ask Allah for today is Baraka blessings, goodness, and happiness,
contentment, and success in this world and the next, the ingredients that will bring about all that
we have just said right now, in the Quran and the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. Generally
the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, used to seize these opportunities to remind people of
something good to remind them of their duties unto Allah, and their duties unto their families, the
rest of the creatures that Allah has made, starting with the spouse, and thereafter making the
circle much broader.
		

			So if you look at the verses that will be recited in a few moments, you will find the first verse
reminds us as mankind, who we are and where we came from, why we were created and what we owe Allah
and what we owe the creatures, the creatures of Allah. So Allah subhanho wa Taala says, Yeah,
		

			Taco Bell, como la de holla, Cancun, oh people, he doesn't address just the believers, but all
people or people develop a relationship with the one who made you develop a relationship with you or
who made you. Now the term toccoa we talk about the consciousness of Allah, the fear of Allah
developing a relationship with Allah creating a barrier between us and the punishment of Allah. All
this is included in the term taco Allah, the first reminder that Allah is telling or asking every
one of us informing us is to develop your relationship with he who made you if you do that, you can
never be at a loss, you will never lose, you will be in a win win situation. When goodness happens,
		

			it still brings you close to Allah. When something negative happens in your life, it still brings
you closer to Allah so you can never lose. It's a piece of advice we are giving the couple that are
coming together today, as well as all of us who are seated here married or not. May Allah subhanho
wa Taala, grant us goodness. So Allah says, Be conscious of Allah develop a relationship with your
maker, the one who may do from one soul now he's reminding us of the origin he created. But in order
to create it was easy for him to say be for every one of us and create every one of us exactly as he
created Adam alayhis salam, that's not difficult for Allah subhanho wa Taala. But he chose that he
		

			is going to keep us connected. Imagine if we were not connected to each other. We did not have
family. We wouldn't even be seated here today. Because we are seated here as a result of connection
that Allah has placed, we feel a link we have bonded through blood we have bonded through marriage,
we have bonded through friendship, etc. Through the deen of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Hence, we feel
the connection and therefore we want to share the joy yes moments with one another just like we
share the sorrow when someone is at a loss. So Allah says, I chose for you a certain path by
creating one soul from it, its spouse, that's the way Allah has created us and from the to Allah
		

			cause the multitude of male and female to spread all over the earth. So he says, understand your
duty unto the wombs that have given birth to you. Subhana Allah starting with your mother, your duty
unto your mother? Why does Allah stress this? It's not easy to fulfill the rights of your mother,
especially once you are married. Sometimes people overlook this, they will always be a generation
gap where people think differently, it doesn't make them bad. But what it does do, it gives us the
opportunity to rise to the occasion to resolve matters that arise considering it an act of worship
and energy.
		

			Bader May Allah make it easy for all of us. So Allah is reminding us these wounds that have given
birth to you, not only your mothers, but starting with your mothers. Similarly, your spouses, those
who will give birth to your children. Similarly, your aunt's, your grand mother, perhaps are
grandmothers, and the other relatives of yours who are related to you, your sisters, and so on. May
Allah subhanahu wa taala help us to protect the rights of women. Imagine here Allah is telling us
about the women and the rights that we had that they have over us. And people say that Islam doesn't
protect the women and doesn't have rights for women. Similarly, the term though, will or ham, and EU
		

			or ham and our ham would also by extension, include those you are related to as a result of the
womb. Now you know that it's not only your father's lineage but your mother as well. Similarly, when
you get married, you now have in laws on both sides, you need to fulfill relations, people who are
related to you to meet them, to greet them, to try your best to be with them or to be there for them
on both occasions of goodness, happiness as well as on the other side sadness and loss. May Allah
protect us from loss and grant us goodness and success. So this is a beautiful piece of advice how
apt is this verse, it is recited usually as the hotbar preceding the appreciation of such a sacred
		

			union. Similarly, we have Allah subhanho wa Taala repeating that taqwa the term taqwa in these
verses twice, and he says subhanho wa Taala. Definitely Allah takes account of everything you do, be
conscious, it's not going to be easy. It's always a struggle. They say marriage is not a perpetual
honeymoon, but you know what?
		

			They say it's like a,
		

			it's like getting into a hot shower Subhanallah or a hot bath. Once you're in it, it's not that hot
anymore. Allah grant us ease. In fact, the first day is happy, Mashallah, the first day is very
happy. We always ask Allah keep us as happy or even happier. And Allah says, Well, if I was the
focus and the central point of attention for you, and I remain that you will be happier. As the days
pass, the minute we become materialistic, the minute we become people who have other agendas, etc.
when things start going wrong. Yes, some people might treat us in a bad way. They treated Muhammad
Sallallahu Sallam in a worse way. What did he do? He wasn't upset. He didn't give up. He always had
		

			hope. And he continued 20 odd years later, there was the victory of Makkah. Subhan Allah May Allah
subhanho wa Taala, grant us goodness and harmony in our homes, remember to fulfill each other's
rights. And the message is not only for the husband and wife, but even for in laws on both sides.
People say the mother in law sometimes happens to be to have a stigma attached to her. I'd like to
say that's not true. It's our weakness that we think that we give them a chance. They are lovely
people, they are good people, give each other a chance, learn to smile, learn to give each other's
independence, because we are now adults. It's our moment to say listen, just as if we had a big
		

			family business and one son now breaks out because obviously he's old enough and you know, we don't
want problems after we pass away. It's going to be a bit of a mission when he starts off but he
needs to start making decisions. He can come to us for guidance, but the business is his similarly
we grew up these children now that they are married, we can guide them but the final decision shall
be theirs. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us to let go of these children because a lot of issues
happen when we don't let go. The second verse, Allah reminds us again of the term taqwa developing
your relationship with Allah What did I say earlier? It's the cornerstone of happiness. You want
		

			happiness, your relationship with Allah ask yourself how's my link with Allah? If your Salah is not
in order? How do you expect happiness in your home? If your Zakah is not in order if your mouth is
not in order, so panela so the second verse Yeah, are you letting me know man taco haha to party
wala tamo to Illa in
		

			NEEMO oh you who believe be conscious of Allah developer relationship with Allah upon the level that
is deserved By Allah, that's a solid level that is so high so panela we no matter how hard we try,
we're not going to be able to get to that point so much. So the Sahaba the Allahu anhu had asked how
is this going to be another verse was revealed that the con la Hama, satara Tata to develop that
relationship as best as you can to the best of your abilities.
		

			My brothers, my sisters, the link with Allah is absolutely
		

			To be important, it governs everything that will happen in our lives. May Allah subhanho wa Taala
help myself and all of us to develop that relationship and this is why Allah subhanho wa Taala says,
Don't die except in the condition of submission. You know, when you say I'm a Muslim, it's easy to
say I'm a Muslim, but if you translate it into English, it translates as a submitted, I'm a
submitted.
		

			The question I always ask is, am I really a submitter? Do I really submit to Allah and His will?
		

			Then we will understand how close we are or distant from Allah. It's occasions of this nature that
keeps that give us a reminder to be able to develop that relationship. It's not too late. May Allah
grant that to us. The last verse, the last verse that we will hear today is a verse connected to the
tongue. Didn't I say moments ago? How's your tongue? How do you use your tongue? Why is this verse
repeated during the occasion of Nika? Yeah. Nina, Tacoma Hakuna Kona Sadie de la
		

			la como Villa come back home with me. La Crosse una vaca Hosanna Lima, O you who believe develop
your relationship with Allah and only after that which is a deed which is straight after that which
is straight what your mouth. Most problems we face, especially of a social nature, are connected to
the tongue 90% of marital problems are due to the inability of using the tongue in a correct way.
People also divorce their spouses, and then come crying to say, Oh, I did it this way. And that
Brother, you did not control your tongue. May Allah subhanahu wa Jalla grant us the ability to
engage our tongues in his remembrance and the vicar rather than in bad words, swear words,
		

			deception, etc. Even words of love and romance and a bada when they are directed at the right
person, because they are sinful when they are directed at the wrong person. So Pamela, when I say
words of love and romance, and I make people I make someone blush, if that is the right person, I'm
making blush, and if that is the right person that I'm directing those words to it becomes such a
great a bad so much so that to be intimate with your spouse isn't a bad because if you were intimate
elsewhere, it would be a sin. That's why the Prophet sallallahu Sallam when he said we both had the
concern, that in the intimacy of one of you with your spouse is an act of worship a charity, the
		

			Sahaba of the Allahu anhu says, messenger, we fulfill our basic desires, and that is an act of
worship. He says, Do You Do you see what would happen if the person were to fulfill it in the wrong?
Would they be sinful? They said yes, he would be sinful What if they are sinful for this, then they
would be rewarded for that. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us a good reward. May Allah make it
easy for us. So in this verse, right at the end, Allah warns us, firstly, about the tongue and then
he caps the verse by saying, you know what, whoever follows Allah and the messenger, whoever follows
the messenger sallallahu sallam, and what he has brought from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Indeed, they
		

			are, that person has succeeded in the biggest way We ask Allah to grant us success. So the solutions
to everything are already manifest made clear to us. Allah didn't promise that he's going to give us
the millions and the billions. But he promised us that if you follow my path, I will grant you
contentment and true happiness in this world. May Allah grant that to those who are coming together
today, and May Allah grant it to all of us who are married, may Allah make this an opportunity for
those who are going through turbulence in their marriages. To resolve that today, may Allah subhanho
wa Taala reward those and bless them who couldn't come for some reason or another, those who are
		

			sick and Ill from both sides of the families and from the oma of Muhammad Allah Allah May Allah
grant him Shiva and May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant Rama to the motorhoming from both sides who
are definitely not with us today. May Allah grant them genda to fill those and those of the oma aku
localizada or sallallahu wasallam ah Baraka, Allah Nabina, Muhammad Mohammed