Mufti Menk – Have You Just Divorced Your Wife

			Assalamu alaikum someone asked about divorce to say that do you have to use the word bollock or
divorce for the divorce to happen? Or can you use other terms? Like, I'm done with you? It's over
with us. That's it, I'm leaving you and going, and so on? It's a very interesting question. So there
are terms that are non ambiguous. So if someone says I divorced you, it's clear, it's done. If
someone says, open lipnicki, or, in some instances, they just use the term Palak, that doesn't have
another meaning. So if it is directed at one spouse, then yes, that luck would be considered valid.
But if it is not directed as at a spouse, for example, you're teaching, or you're talking about
		

			something, and you're giving an example of something, don't let shaytan tamper with your mind and
make you think, Oh, I just divorced my wife, oh, I just did this. That's the tempering of the devil.
It needs to be clear, it needs to have been directed at the right person. Okay, or maybe at the
wrong person. Sorry. But anyway. So if a terminology is used, that is ambiguous, it has more than
one meaning. I mean, if I say, That's it, I'm done with you. It doesn't necessarily mean that I
divorced someone. If I say, I don't want to live with you ever, you know?
		

			I don't want to live with you ever. I haven't said that. I've divorced you. It's just a feeling that
I'm communicating with you about it about but I don't want to live with you forever. But I'm going
to live with you. How's that? So it doesn't necessarily mean you have to go back to the intention of
the person and say, Do you mean divorce completely? And if they say no, take that word. hamdulillah.
Do you hear what we said? So if there is a non ambiguous term, clear cut term, then you don't, there
is no intention that you need to look into. It's there. Even jokingly the Hadith says, if you're
joking about divorce, but you said it in a non ambiguous term, it actually occurs. So watch out.
		

			Don't joke about things. Don't joke about divorce. Don't joke about marriage. Because things like
these occur. Because you see, why do they occur? They occur because there are certain things you're
not allowed to joke about. It's too serious a matter. Imagine you you divorce someone and he is
joking. People do that. People actually insult you and say, I was just joking. You know, I learned
to one where people say, I would have called you stupid, but I'm not going to do that. When you just
called me stupid, isn't it? So hang on a minute, love forgive us. So some people say, you know
certain words and certain things we need to be careful. My brothers and sisters, we need to be very
		

			careful. So don't joke about nikka and Pollock, because those are things that are too sacred to joke
about. You can't just divorce someone and then say I was just joking. So to protect from that, Allah
says, even if you were joking, it's done. Tomorrow, when someone regrets they can just come around
and say us joking. Allah says, No, you can't whether you were joking or not, it's over.
		

			And this is why don't just talk about divorce
		

			for any little thing, and when you're angry, and you Something happened and think about it, because
it's the last words that should ever come out of your mouth. It's permissible, but it's a last
resort. That's what it is. It's actually a way out when you when there's no other way. That's what
divorce is all about in Islam. So you don't use these words. You know, just like that. So if you're
going to say get out, and Subhanallah the wife says, Well, you divorced me, not necessarily.
Sometimes you say get out, you just mean get out, meaning move, you know, go back to your parents
house, does not necessarily mean that you were divorced, sometimes there are signs to show what you
		

			meant, you know.
		

			And then it would become a little bit more difficult for you to explain yourself if you didn't mean
that yet the signs were pointing in a different direction. So in a nutshell, if you divorce someone
with clear cut terms, that's it. It's done. If you do if you say words that are not,
		

			you know, divorce, but they're ambiguous in meaning, then it depends on your intention. Similarly,
when you write things down, mostly, you need to have an intention, you need to know where it's
heading, you need to confirm that this was this and this was that. And the same would apply if you
were to SMS it and you were to send it by message, we would need to confirm certain things first, to
make sure who sent it. Why did they send it? What did they intend when they sent it? And who was it
sent to? Who was it directed to and so on. These are some of the rules that we need to look into.
But I thought of just speaking about this In brief, just to highlight the importance of it. May
		

			Allah protect all of us, grant us good marriages make us from those who have
		

			are always obedient to Allah. grant us the coolness of the eyes through our spouses by the will of
Allah subhanho wa Taala and our children and May Allah subhanho wa Taala help those who've been
through divorce and Sharla to get married again Mashallah, there's nothing wrong at all. I'm one of
those who champions the course divorced hamdulillah not the end of the world perhaps it's just the
beginning. Allah protect us salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah.