Mufti Menk – Divorce before marriage – How?

			Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah my brothers and sisters, before you talk about getting married, you
must make sure you understand how divorce works. Most of the young people I've asked, have been
married without knowing about divorce. And this is why, when a time comes where there is a little
dispute, or a major dispute, in anger, some of these youngsters blurt out the words of divorce and
Palak. And you and I know that in Islam, it is a big thing. You don't threaten people, every little
while I'm going to divorce you, if you do this, I'll divorce you, I'll divorce you about this and
that. And if you go here, I'll divorce you. And if you do this, I'll divorce you. In Islam, that is
		

			not allowed. You don't play games with something that is very, very serious, in the eyes of Allah
Almighty. So don't ever utter the words of divorce. Jokingly, don't ever utter them. Just playfully.
Don't ever threaten your spouse with divorce for every little thing that is happening. Calm down,
take it easy work on your marriage, make sure that you don't want to just get out of the marriage
because of a few differences that you have. And be careful. If you are to utter those words, they
will have a huge impact on your life, not just on the marital situation and on your marriage, but on
your entire life. So please, I really plead with all of those out there married or unmarried, learn
		

			about divorce and how it works. Why does Allah speak about three divorces. In fact, I can quickly
explain it to you.
		

			If a person really doesn't get along with the spouse, and they have tried their best to make it
work, and they've reached the end, they may divorce once. That's enough, you don't ever need to
issue more than one divorce at that stage. It's either revocable or irrevocable. You'll have to
learn about that. If within the waiting period, which is three menstrual cycles, in most cases, you
decide you want to get back and you want to reconcile, you may do so you may do so if you have
reconciled. Remember, you've already used one, bollock or divorce. If you've reconciled mashallah
your life may progress and proceed, you may never need to revisit any law or the topic of the law.
		

			But if for some reason, the problems happen to reoccur, and the road seems to be ending once again.
And you've arrived right at the end, you may choose to go through a second Pollock, that's a second
Tallac. So a second divorce, Allah gives you another chance that Allah says okay, no problem, you
can break up again and end the marriage again. If after you've ended it the second time with another
one o'clock. So the first time you gave one, and after some time you gave another one. Now you've
given two, and if within the waiting period, if you did not reconcile, then the spouses can marry
whom they want, they can actually, you know, go and perhaps pursue someone else, or they could get
		

			back together with a new Nika, that is if the period, the waiting period of three menstrual cycles
has come to an end. So you've only issued one or two, and the waiting period has finished. In that
case, you can go back to your the spouse who just divorced you, or whom you were divorced from, or
you could go to someone else. And the second time the same applies. But if you have reconciled for
the second time, then do you know, you only have one more chance. Now Allah Almighty says that, if
you get along and hamdulillah it was good. That's the blessing of Allah has given you the third
chance. But if you did not get along, and you arrived at the end of the path, and you decided, You
		

			know what, I've just had enough. I gave it three chances. And you know what, it's just not working.
So Allah says, the third, the luck, the third time you divorce, you're not allowed to get back to
the same guy because you're wasting your life. You're wasting your time. You've tried three whole
times. And now you go to someone else, perhaps maybe if without the interference of your first
spouse,
		

			you marry another person, he might be an excellent person, you might have a beautiful marriage
thereafter, so many have had amazing marriages after divorce. And you may never have to revisit the
issue of overlap or divorce once again, or again, should I say, but if for some reason you are
divorced from the second decision
		

			boughs, you may now go back to the first one because you would have had something to compare it
with, you may have felt that the first person was better than the second one. And I now understand
and appreciate those weaknesses I can put up with these ones I cannot. So that's the whole idea of
having three divorces. Now what people do is, they end up divorcing their wives, thinking, I wonder
where they get it from that the way to divorce a woman is to repeat the words of divorce thrice,
that is the furthest from the truth. That is the worst way of doing things. It is sinful. It is a
huge, huge sin to just utter these words thrice for what you only ever need to utter it once and
		

			that tool, like I said, Not jokingly not playfully not threateningly, but in a serious manner. So my
brothers, my sisters, take it seriously. Learn about divorce before you get married. And if you are
married right now, before you have an argument, learn about divorce, make sure you understand what
it is all about. People divorce their wives 123, then they want to go and ask the scholars what
happens now. And you know, there is a major difference of opinion amongst the scholars in this
regard. What does it occur as? In a nutshell, you're playing with the with the teachings of the
Quran, and the teachings of Allah subhanho wa taala, you won't be able to lead a life of happiness,
		

			if you want to play the fool with what Allah has revealed. So therefore, my brothers, my sisters,
like I said at the beginning, learn about divorce before you get married, make sure you know how to
issue a divorce. An example of it is imagine you have a gun, and you don't even know what the
trigger is all about. And you pull it thrice. Or you pull it whatever home how many ever times, and
you've injured someone or killed them. And then you say, Oh, can I revive this? Can I revive this
person? I just made a mistake. I did not know what the trigger was all about. You would be foolish.
Learn about a weapon before you have it. In the same way learn about the lock before you marry. May
		

			Allah Almighty bless every one of us, it's a very important subject. Please share this video as far
and as wide as you can so that people understand. I see many people say, well, Islam is very
oppressive, because why is it that I cannot get back to my spouse? You can.
		

			You can if you had done it the right way but because it was a sinful way or because you did it the
wrong way then obviously, it's going to change things and you will have a difference of opinion
among the scholars and then you actually have a huge matter in front of you. May Allah Almighty
grant us ease and goodness. This is just a brief point that I thought I'd raised but there is a lot
more to learn about divorce. Please go ahead and learn about it as Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi
Wabarakatuh