Mufti Menk – Dealing with Non-Practicing Family Members

			Salam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah
		

			when dealing with family members who are not so religious, or they don't take religion seriously, or
they may be weaker in certain aspects. Remember, we don't want to compromise our faith, but it's our
duty, to be very polite to them to be kind, and not to discourage them. So, when explaining to
people usually if you use good words, they're ready to listen, they're ready to understand, perhaps
they might not be ready to practice. Because that is in the hands of Allah, you know, you can tell
someone what's right and what's wrong. And they may be convinced as well, but they may not have
followed because maybe they haven't yet had the acceptance from Allah. So shaitaan comes to them and
		

			makes them keep thinking, it's okay. I don't have to do this, I'll do it tomorrow. I'll do it later,
I'll do it another time. Or it's fine. Allah is whatever, you know, merciful and so on. Look, Allah
is merciful. But to use that as an excuse to do something wrong. We know that it's a weakness, but
how do we who have relatives who might not be that practicing, deal with them, don't discourage
them. Don't think that you're better, make them feel that they're useless because you don't know how
you are going to end. You don't know they might overtake you somewhere and you might turn around,
make a U turn, may Allah protect all of us. So treat them with respect, pray for them. Be kind,
		

			smile, greet, fulfill their rights, be genuine be there for them during their days of difficulty and
hardship. And those days are common nowadays, more than others more than before. So it's important
for us to look into this and to make people feel that connection, then they will listen to us, at
least they will appreciate us. So what we want is, yes, we would love to see them also take their
religion a little bit more seriously. But minimum is we don't want them to hinder our faith. I know
of cases where people don't want their own sisters or daughters to put on a headscarf or to dress
in, you know, a dress perhaps, or something like a cloak or a jilbab.
		

			So, what we're saying is, perhaps you need to communicate to them to say, look, I'm not putting
pressure on you to do things. So don't put pressure on me to do things. If I am coming closer to
Allah, what are you stopping me for? Leave it. You know, it reminds me of the man who was from the
broader family of the pharaoh whom Allah sent. And he says, Yeah, call me Molly at the local Elana
jati. What did O'Neill and now all my people what's wrong with you and calling you towards savior
and you're calling me towards the fire? You know that the only the oshi Kabila only act for a
biller? What should it be Melissa Lee beheading, what another Oh, Camilla z is alpha, you're calling
		

			me towards disbelief and Association, a partnership with Allah and I'm calling you to come towards
Allah. So yeah, it's a tricky one. It's been there for a long time. If Allah willed He could have
guided everyone. But sometimes Allah doesn't want exactly that. He knows he wants to reward you and
perhaps guide them at a certain point.
		

			Don't burn your bridges. No. Keep on trying with them. Yes, if it gets to the end of the path on the
road, and they are really misbehaving with you trying to push you and force you to quit the faith or
to really to transgress against Allah, then perhaps you may want to take it up one more level and
distance a little bit from them. But if they're your family members, they're not so practicing. You
know what, it doesn't mean you cut them off completely, they have not told you not to practice.
		

			You need to try with them. You need to maintain the relation with them. You need to keep on speaking
with them, not necessarily directly and immediately, but perhaps build the connection first, a good
one. When they see that you're a lovely person, they will come closer. The reason I say this is many
people think that Islam is a bad religion. Many people think practicing people are harsh and hard.
		

			The minute you prove them wrong, they soften up and the difficulty is are we prepared to prove them
wrong in a beautiful way? I know of people who revert to Islam perhaps I should do a video
separately for that. But for now I pray this advice has helped Apolo Kohli ha That was Salam Alaikum
Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh