Mufti Menk – Ramadan 2009 – Cape Town – Day 26 Marriage Part 3

			Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
		

			Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah. Allah Allah He was happy he woman instead of
the Buddha who above all praise is indeed due to Allah subhanho wa Taala blessings and salutations
upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant every one of us
acceptance and we ask Allah subhana wa Taala to protect every single one of us, to grant us
protection from the devil and from evil. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us every form of goodness
		

			on a dilemma, beloved brothers and sisters and dearest listeners,
		

			as we had promised, we will be continuing with the last segment and section of this particular topic
of marriage. It is a very, very important topic. In fact, the response I have got via email is
immense and intense. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us protection. It shows how many
difficulties and problems people are going through and how much misunderstanding shaitan has allowed
to creep in, especially between husband and wife. Remember, try your best never to allow a
difference of opinion to creep in when it comes to your marriage. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant
us understanding, try to be on best behavior at all times. Because that is what will definitely
		

			enhance and promote a happy home happy generations to follow in Sharla.
		

			Also, we need to realize that shavon the Devil Satan, one of the prime aims, one of the biggest
plans he has is to differentiate is to differentiate or to cause a split between husband and wife.
And this is why he goes to get his prize after he has split between husband and wife. And he is
awarded a huge enhancing reward by his leader at least May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect the soul.
That having been said, we also need to realize and understand that we spoke about appointing certain
representatives from either side when there is a problem and the problem cannot be resolved by the
two of them. We need to know that sometimes, yes, family members at times are not qualified enough
		

			or their hearts are not clean enough to be able to help you. Sometimes family members themselves
create the problem because they have something against the other party, we ask Allah subhanho wa
Taala to open our doors of understanding. And this is why it is important that when we select a
representative the Quran says min Allah or from his family or from her family, either party.
Together with that, let us select those who have intellect who have experience who have a genuine
feeling and not someone who is going to tell you break the marriage.
		

			If there is anyone who tells you just break the marriage, they are not genuine, you need to try and
try again and try a third time and try as hard as you can, before you even discuss the issue of
splitting and separating. And each time you go to a new counselor May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant
us the ability to go to those who have sound knowledge of the Sherry And together with experience,
you need to know you are going to have to start all over again. May Allah subhanho wa Taala give us
the heart to turn a new leaf and to forgive those who are our own spouses and to try as hard as we
can. Then obviously we mentioned the fact of divorce being a gift from Allah subhanho wa Taala at
		

			times to get you out of a situation and to get you out of oppression and to get you out of that
which might result in your mental downfall as well as emotional May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect
us all.
		

			It is also important that we realize that really nowadays we have a very, very great proportion or
ratio of people who goes through divorce, very great. But the reason why they go through divorce is
sometimes very basic, very small, a minor issue something very small, they allow it to grow and to
blow out of proportion. This is why it is important to resolve a matter as soon as it starts. When a
fire starts you would be very intelligent if you actually extinguished it as soon as possible rather
than to wait for the whole house to catch and then you want to bring the dozer to come and now
extinguish it. Even if you bring the whole fire brigade they won't succeed your house will be burnt.
		

			When you see a small spark immediately try and resolve it instead of waiting for the whole house to
catch fire. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us this evening I have chosen to go through three
very important examples in the Quran and really they are so deep and so beautiful and they show to
us the beauty
		

			80 of marriage, the beauty of our spouses and the beauty of the life when we are together May Allah
subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding the first example is that in Surah Al Baqarah I'm sure many
of us know the verses of by heart,
		

			where Allah subhanho wa Taala describes a husband and a wife, Allah says,
		

			they are like clothing unto you or men, and the men are like clothing unto you the wives, so the
wives are like clothing unto their husbands and the husbands are like clothing unto their wives. It
might seem a very light verse when you skip when you like whip through it as you are reading the
Quran, but believe me today if Allah grants us the acceptance, you will see the depth or some of the
depth of this particular verse. What is clothing, clothing beautifies you that is the first quality
of the spouse, they are meant to take the good out of you in Sharla which means expose the good in
you inshallah, and they are meant to beautify you and they are meant to give a good image of you
		

			inshallah, you will not wear clothing that is that of disgrace. The same applies your spouse is not
meant to disgrace you may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the first understanding thereafter, your
clothing changes with the changing of the season in the cold weather you will wear warm, and in the
hot weather you will wear a little bit cool. This shows us the reason for this is to protect you
from outside environment. Your spouse is supposed to protect you from outside environment. When
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was faced with jabril and revelation for the first time he
felt quite heavy, and he rushed down to his wife Khadija taburiente, Hawaii lado de la senza
		

			Maloney, Sam Maloney Cover me cover me and his wife comforted him to the highest degree, that is
also the term clothing so Hanna love providing comfort providing warm when warmth is needed, and
providing the cool breeze when it is needed. Alhamdulillah so clothing also changes with the
changing of time and it fits into the situation. A person who is wearing hot clothing on on a hot
day will not like that clothing, they would sweat and perspire May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us
understanding and may He make us from those who can look into this example. Let's move further into
the example. When it comes to clothing, if you have for example, an operation where you have been
		

			medically operated on your belly or anywhere in your body, what would clothing do to you it would
cover the scars that you have Allahu Akbar, your spouse is meant to cover up for you and not to go
and tell the whole world you know my wife is like this and my husband is like that. No, you are
meant to cover up you are meant to be clothing over and above that. clothing is there in order to
cover your private paths and your shame as it were. So your husband or your wife, you as a spouse
are meant to be protecting them and you are meant to be looking after them and you are meant to be
covering up wherever you can May Allah subhanahu wa taala help us promote the good and look at the
		

			good and concentrate on the good whereas when there is something negative yes, we do know inside
that there is something negative but at the same time it will not be exposed in public. Do not clean
your linen in public May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us. Let's move further down that example.
When you want to buy clothing you first go to a shop that you're that fits your pocket. You will not
go to a shop where the cheapest clothing is 10,000 brands when your salary is only 500 grands which
means when you are looking for a spouse, look for someone on your level. Look for someone on your
level don't look for someone whom it is going to be so expensive to look after them. The marriage
		

			won't really work. May Allah protect us. Let me take the example further. When you walk into Say for
example, this store, What size do you buy? Do you buy your size? Or do you buy a bigger size or a
smaller size. Even if you happen to weigh a little bit more you will still buy clothing that is your
size. Even if the clothing that is small and tight fitting looks very nice. Maybe if you were to buy
that, it might look beautiful. Once you wear it, it will take a look at that. So when you get
someone who is not on your level of spirituality or on your social level, it might look nice, it
might look beautiful. As soon as you get married it is Allahu Akbar, may Allah protect us. The
		

			marriage won't last it won't work because the Hadith teaches us about
		

			Kapha Kapha meaning to look for someone in your social standing to look for someone whose likes and
dislikes will be similar to look someone on your spiritual level to look for someone who will not be
a burden upon you in any way and who will not be so low are so high that you will not be able to
reach below or to reach above in order to reach them. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us
understanding so tight clothing, no one buys if you are a size 10 and you were to buy a size six,
you would have to keep it in your cupboard and closet you won't be able to benefit from it. May
Allah protect us. And if you were for example to buy clothing that is too big. Say for example, you
		

			are a 32 waist and you buy a trouser which is 38. Believe me, it will embarrass you in public law
cover. You might need a belt to hold it up. And when it comes to marriage we don't want to talk
about about Allahu Akbar. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding Look at how beautiful
the example of clothing is. The most intimate relation you have, whether you know it or not, is with
your clothing Allahu Akbar. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us protection and understanding that
is the power of the Quran. We've only been through a segment of one verse, the power of the verse
when Allah speaks about the spouse and Allah says
		

			they are like clothing unto you and you are like clothing unto them. Now do we see that in that
verse? He is teaching us how to select a spouse, how to marry the spouse and how to live with the
spouse as well. So behind Allah bl Allah. Let's move on to another verse. If we open the verses of
the Quran in surah alpha in Surah Surah we will find just before so I have seen Allah subhanho wa
Taala makes mention of the fact that he has created us in pace listen to what he says what Allahu
Allah
		

			Torabi
		

			Masha Allah come as why
		

			it is Allah who has created you from dust or from sand or from soil and thereafter from the seed.
and thereafter he has made you pays, he has made you into pays. Let's listen and concentrate. He is
telling us that he has made us male and female. And then he is showing us immediately after that
other creatures of his whom he has also made in pays. And he is drawing to our attention that
nothing goes wrong in the other creatures, because they go according to Alice plan. And if you were
to go according to Alice plan, nothing would go wrong in your union as well. So Pamela, have you
ever seen anything going wrong between the sun and the moon between the night and the day and so on?
		

			Never ever because they listen to what Allah says to the tea. The lesson is, if you were to listen
to what Allah says to the tea, nothing would go wrong as well.
		

			And this is an example given in Suraj fathur. Many of us think that we will receive and achieve
happiness by undressing in public, or by uncovering our hair. If that is the case, it is like the
sun saying that today I really want to fight this moon, I'm going to come out at night Allahu Akbar.
The sun has never had a dispute with the moon because it obeys the command of Allah subhanho wa
Taala. But with us with our minds and brains, Allah is showing us that look, there is only one way
to succeed. And that way is to adopt what Allah the creator of yourself and every other creature of
Allah subhanho wa Taala has dictated there is no other way to receive happiness. You know, when you
		

			have a Toyota for example? Wouldn't you be a fool if you arrived at the BMW showroom and you told
him I'd like to sell my car, or I'd like to service my vehicle. You want to take a Toyota to those
who did not make it, they will laugh at you. Now that is a simple example. We don't see anyone with
a Toyota taking it to the BMW showroom. Why do we see human beings who are made by Allah taking
themselves to others besides Allah to look for goodness and happiness and to service them now? Allah
subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding
		

			simple example for the brain. For the one who wants to know imagine if your motor vehicle is not
working and you were told that you need to put oil here and you suddenly think that you are too
clever. You want your car to work, the professional told you where to put oil and what is wrong with
your vehicle. And you take the oil and you put it where the petrol is supposed to go because you
think you're clever, what will happen, your car will stop functioning that is what we are doing with
our
		

			selves on a daily basis on a different level. Where we have problems Allah gives us the solution in
the Quran he tells us what to do and where to do it and how to do it. And we go for further and we
don't want to do it the way Allah decides. That is why our spiritual vehicle will halt, it will come
to a halt, it will grind to a halt, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala not to not to do that to us. And
we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us understanding. So after Allah subhanho wa Taala says He
created us in pace, he gives us a few examples and all of them are to draw our attention to how well
they get on and to draw the lessons there from listen to what Allah subhanho wa Taala says
		

			on yesterday when
		

			he says the two oceans are not the same. They are two totally different oceans. This verse he says
it immediately after telling us that he has made us in pace. He tells us look, even the oceans we
have created them. They depend on one another they are two to two they come in pairs Allahu Akbar,
and this is why they are not the same, but they hold each other up. If one ocean did not exist, the
other one would collapse. The two oceans are held together. One cannot call itself an ocean unless
the other one is they it will not be there. One might be green and one one might be green, one might
be blue. One might be sweet, one might be salty, and Subhana Allah not only the colors, one might be
		

			warm, the other might be cold, but they are holding each other up. Allah says wa Jalla Bina Houma
barossa.
		

			Jumeirah we have kept between the oceans a barrier they will not cross the barrier. Mother and
father, husband and wife you have a role to play do not cross the barrier. A wife is not a wife
unless she has a husband. The husband is holding her up. A husband cannot go out on the street a man
without the wife cannot go and say I'm a husband, they will take him to the med hospital. You have
to have a wife in order to call yourself a husband. So that is why the oceans are only called
oceans. When the two are holding each other up. Though Allah says they are not the same. A man is
brought up in a totally different home and a woman is brought up in a totally different home, but
		

			the two of them together will help enhance one another May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us inshallah
portray the best of qualities that we have and eradicate the negative qualities we may be having.
		

			So Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks about the differences in the two waters, he says had a boon for
		

			shabu.
		

			On this side of the ocean, you will find sweet water that you can drink and on the other side you
will find salty water but you need that salty water as well and you need the sweet water as well.
The salt pans Mashallah you find them in Port Elizabeth and in other places Mashallah where the
water is more salty Alhamdulillah so we need it for salt. without salt in our food what would
happen, we would never ever be able to enjoy the taste of that food. Try your food without salt one
day and this is why it's important that no one must debate with one another to say you are the sweet
and I am the salt I am the salt and you are the sweet and so on. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect
		

			us We are both equally needed. Both our qualities are needed within the marriage in order to make it
work. So in the same way that you need the sweet water for the water you need the salty water for
the salt Alhamdulillah and Allah subhanho wa Taala says there is goodness on both sides of the
oceans listen to what he says
		

			wamena
		

			coluna Allah mo Toria from both sides you will find fish fish is not on one side. So from this side
you will find fish the other side you will find fish in the marriage You will find goodness with the
bride goodness with the groom. But would you ever get fish without going out to fish? Do the fish
suddenly jump out of the ocean and say right eat me Mashallah. No, that's not what happens. Amazing.
What would actually happen is you need to take a rod and you need to fish but for your information
if you go to the ocean with a rod you might only catch one fish, you rather go with a trawler and
catch a lot kilos and tans Alhamdulillah and you can do business thereafter. Alhamdulillah so we ask
		

			Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us understanding and effort is required if you want to achieve
benefit from your spouse, and if it is required. If you would like to fish, it won't just come to
you the same way. If you want to see the positive points in your spouse you need to definitely work
hard. You need to understand you need to try you need to think carefully you need to make an effort
and in charge
		

			You will find that that benefit the benefit of pure meat inshallah you will be able to benefit from
it inshallah. Let's move further. Allah subhanho wa Taala says, What does Stephanie Jonah Hillier?
Tell by Suna if you want to make a bigger effort, you will be able to extract pearls from the
deepest part of the oceans that you will then be able to adorn yourself with. So if you are ready to
make a bigger effort in your marriage, you will be able to then see the shining of your spouse the
good qualities of your spouse inshallah, but for that a deeper effort is required a great sacrifice
is required. Ask those who die for pearls they almost risked their lives.
		

			But when they come up, they come up with a pearl Mashallah and they are so happy it is worth a
million other commodities of this dunya Subhana Allah. So that is why if you are ready to put on
that oxygen mask and go into the deep oceans, you will come out with the pearls Alhamdulillah in
your marriage, if you are ready to sacrifice, even though it might seem to you that it is almost
broken, that's not true. I beg to differ. If there is an effort on both sides inshallah, you will be
able to extract those pearls and you will be able to come out with them. Don't worry about the
adversity as you are diving, there might be sharks in the path. You might be scared, you might be
		

			bitten you might this you might that but it is only with that effort, that you will then be able to
adorn yourself and to be honest with you, husband and wife, they are adornment for one another
Subhanallah it is important that a wife dresses up to the tee for her husband. If she does not do
that there is a chance and possibility that his eyes may wonder May Allah protect us all. And the
same applies. It's no use to say the wife must dress up for the husband. The husband needs to be
prim and proper as well in Sharla meaning he must not come home smelling and filthy and then he
expects Mashallah to be intimate in the condition where nobody can tolerate the scent or the stench
		

			that is coming from Him. May Allah protect us to keep yourself clean is part of Islam and the man it
is part of your faith.
		

			And we need to realize that these the religion we are following has stressed on cleanliness more
than anything else. We need to cleanse ourselves spiritually to start with and then even physically
in sha Allah. So if you are to make a bigger effort in sha Allah what will happen, you will then be
able to dig deeper and go deeper and you will be able to receive inshallah, the goodness and the
benefit of your marriage May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us in sha Allah in every single way. Let's
move further inshallah through these verses after speaking about the oceans, the fact that they are
not the same, the fact that if you are to receive any benefit, you will get fish from both sides.
		

			There are different types of fish on either side, you will find a certain type of fish in one ocean
and you might not find the same fish in the other ocean. So it does not mean that there is only one
type of fish in the world. So many different types of goodness inshallah, if one thing might go
wrong, another 10 things will go right in your marriage in Sharla and if there is one negativity,
they will be so many other positives that you will not find elsewhere. That is a solid point that
you need to think of May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us appreciate our spouses.
		

			Then Allah subhanho wa Taala says, What are McAfee ma ke Ronnie Tabata, woombye falguni Allah says
when you see the ship, it cleaves through the waves. When a ship crosses from one Ocean to the
other. Do you notice that you've crossed into another ocean? The answer is no, it crosses it cleaves
through the waves. For us, there are many lessons to draw from that. So canon law, I will only come
up with one or two. The reality is you may be totally different but when you are together when the
others members of your family and so on and the broader society happened to see you You need to
realize they must not notice the differences you have do not clean your linen in public. You will
		

			they will sail straight through like a ship sailed straight through the different waters. It doesn't
mean that now you crossed and suddenly the ship starts rocking and so on. Unless an expert will tell
you we've crossed into the next ocean Subhanallah without that you wouldn't have known is that not
true? Yes, it is true. So the same applies. There might be certain people who might know that we
might be going through turbulence but as I said a few days ago that you do not tell your sadness to
others. Do not relate it to your friends or family for that matter. To start with. You need to make
sure you have tried your best to make that marriage of yours work inshallah.
		

			We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to soften the hearts inshallah. So as you have the ship
		

			moving across in order to benefit from the ocean. The same applies to us if we'd like to benefit
from one another, we need to abstain from cleansing our lemon in public. When you have a problem,
don't scream and shout such that the neighbors can hear you. And don't scream and shout in front of
your own children. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us.
		

			After that, the next verse, Allah subhanho wa Taala gives us another example.
		

			The other example is that of the night and the day he says, you will need to lie laughing.
		

			Laney was a 401 camo. The night goes into the day and the day goes into the night that is the plan
of Allah. Listen very carefully, what do we learn from that for our marriages. When the night goes
into the day, if the day is short, the night automatically becomes long. And if the night is short,
the day automatically covers up and it becomes long Subhana Allah when there are shortfalls from
your spouse, you need to make that extra effort to cover up inshallah, if for example there might be
one shortfall this side you need to be extra good inshallah to cover it up. And if there is one
extra point on this side inshallah, then you may be relaxed. May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us
		

			protection the same way that is the system of Allah. If Allah wanted, he could have kept day and
night exactly equal all along, but he says no, that's not what he does. When one changes the other
one exceeds or increases or decreases accordingly. What we need to learn from this is you need to be
tolerant one day you might have to exercise more patience than the other something might happen in
your house. Maybe someone might do something that you didn't really like that day you need to have
more patience. And another day when you do something that requires their patience, they also need to
be patient and forgiving inshallah. So there is a give and take in marriage Subhana Allah and look
		

			at how the night and the day never ever failed because that is the plan of the Creator. Subhana
Allah, Allah Allah, they LISTEN and OBEY to the instructions of Allah subhanho wa Taala if we are to
listen and obey, do you think something will go wrong? May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us all
protection from shade and protection from the devil. So these are some of the examples Allah
subhanho wa Taala has given us in Surah Fatah amazing, let us now move to another Surah Surah Yusuf
where Allah subhanho wa Taala also speaks of a different example all together. Remember when the
examples are given in the Quran, they are the examples of the Creator Himself Allah subhanho wa
		

			Taala they can be no mistake or no error when it comes to the plans or the examples sorry of Allah
subhanho wa Taala no mistake. So Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks of a dream in Yusuf alayhi salatu
salam surah, the surah where his story is mentioned. And Allah subhanho wa Taala says that Yusuf
Alayhi Salam told his father, in the year I had I shall go
		

			bomb out on a limb Lisa God, oh my father, I have seen the sun and the moon and 11 stars prostrate
to me in a dream. And his father told him Oh, my son, don't tell your dream to others less they are
jealous. So just leave it anyway, a long story short right at the end of that surah Allah subhanho
wa Taala says that the translation of the dream was made clear. What was the translation of the
dream. The sun that was in the dream was depicting the father use of Annie salams father Yaqoob,
Jacob May peace be upon him. So the sun was depicting the Father. The moon was depicting the mother
and the stars were depicting. The children are the brothers of use of La Salatu was salam, the
		

			children of those parents. Now if we take a look at that example, and we analyze it, it is a
biblical example. It has no errors in it, it is a flawless the relation between the sun the moon and
the stars, is exactly similar to that of the mother, father and children of any successful home
Subhan Allah. Now let's go into that. The sun the qualities of the sun, are those qualities which
are meant to be found in the father of any successful house. So the sun is very strong Mashallah
very powerful in the home Alhamdulillah the sun shines, it gives you a sense of security, when the
sun is out Mashallah that is when you find the plants will photosynthesize. There is growth, there
		

			is blossoming there is beauty.
		

			looming once the sun is out,
		

			when the sun is out, the stars are there. But you will not notice the stars because you cannot look
at the sun directly with your naked eye. Doesn't that depict some form of respect between the parent
between the father in particular and the children not to say that you cannot look him in the eye,
but to say that he commands a greater respect in the house? That is the role he is the breadwinner?
Is that not supposed to be correct? in our homes, it is supposed to be the case may Allah subhanho
wa Taala help us rectify that inshallah. The father is supposed to play that role of being the
breadwinner in the home, he is the one who is the the final decision maker What that means is, it is
		

			the father's duty to listen to the opinions of the mother and the children and others and so on. And
on merit, he must then make a decision according to the best opinion that was presented to him or if
his was even better than he can make the decision according to his own opinion. Now, we have the
sun, let's speak about it a little bit more. The role of the Sun is so great and so powerful. Just
imagine for a moment as we go out on a gloomy day where they where there is a lot of cloud and there
is no sun, what happens on that day, you feel more like going into the bed and going to sleep Allahu
Akbar, at times depending on how dark and windy it is here in Cape Town Mashallah, in one day you
		

			can have four seasons Alhamdulillah sometimes it is as freezing as you can ever think of in the
morning, and then suddenly it is so hot and moments later there is rain Allahu Akbar, may Allah
Subhana Allah Allah grant us understanding, I think across the globe, the weather is becoming very
erratic. And that is very, very closely indicative of the fact that we do as families are becoming
erratic. One day we happy and two minutes later we are fighting and another three minutes later, we
actually really cannot do with each other and five minutes later we don't want to see each other's
face. That is the weather that is what is going on across the globe. May Allah subhanahu Allah grant
		

			us all protection.
		

			So the qualities of the Sun if we look at them, they are many more inshallah we are meant to really
be men who have those qualities. Let's look at the moon Mashallah the moon you can look at it. You
can look at it and you can admire it beautiful moon Mashallah. And you can look at it all night and
admire it Alhamdulillah the mother of the home the wife in the house, may Allah subhanahu wa taala
grant us the coolness of our eyes in our spouses and our children. I mean, and then if you ask
yourself, where does that moon get its light from? Does it have its own light? No, it doesn't. It
gets the light from the sun. So the stronger the sun, the brighter the moon Allahu Akbar. The more
		

			you play your role in a stronger manner in a more fulfilling manner the stronger the role of the
mother will be in the house. If you yourself are not a solid Father, what do you expect of your own
wife being a mother may Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us. So you have the role of the moon
beautiful, what happens to the stars, when the moon is out, you find the stars are twinkling,
Mashallah, they are twinkling up in the sky and you can see them different sizes and shapes and
colors Mashallah. This should be depicting the close relation between the mother and the children
Mashallah, because when the mother is around Alhamdulillah, the children are so close, and they are
		

			so close that they can actually say whatever they feel with respect, obviously, but at the same
time, they are there, not to say that the children don't have a relation with their father, they are
there when the sun is out, the stars are still there. But the significance of the Sun is so great
that the little stars are not noticed Allahu Akbar. So when the father comes in the house, he needs
to be a role model for his children. That is what we learn so can Allah if the father is not going
to be a role model then what will you have? You will start seeing stars during the daylight Allahu
Akbar, may Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all. Let's take a look at the moon Mashallah. The moon
		

			has a lot of peace in it. A lot of tranquility calm, there is silence. People are sleeping, they are
feeling relaxed at that time. These are the qualities that a mother in the home is supposed to be
having. When it comes to her own children. You take a crying baby, mostly that crying little baby
the minute the mother takes hold of the child it will probably go to sleep. The comfort of the arms
of the mother is equivalent to none other than the same mother may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us
understanding. So that is the quality of these are some of the qualities of the moon Subhana Allah.
Let us take a deeper look at the moon. Do you see a fool
		

			Every day no Mashallah We are not trying to say women are extremely emotional but at the same time
what we are saying is, the moon is not there every single day, one day it's full The next day, it's
quarter The following day, possibly after some time, it will be three quarter, then it is a
crescent, we all look forward to finding the crescent inshallah, and some days it is not even they
go out and it's not there, Allahu Akbar, the moon goes through a 28 day cycle, and so does every
female by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to assist the women
folk in this regard in Sharla. So they will naturally have different emotions, we know of a medical
		

			term where they describe the emotions of a female just prior to those days. And we realize and
understand it as well, the emotions are different. So in the same way, we need to realize and
understand that we will not be able to see the moon every single day, we will also not be able to
have the same emotions on a daily basis from the same female May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us
understanding and protection in Sharma. The same applies if we are to try and look at the role of
the moon, when we see the moon, we will then find that the sun will not be there noticeable, though
it is right on the other side of the Earth from where we are standing, the sun would be shining from
		

			the other side of the earth and it would be beaming its rays on to the moon. Hence, we on Earth
would then be able to see this moon. Let's move to one simple example.
		

			When you have an eclipse, what happens, what actually happens, the moon comes into the place of the
sun, and the sun comes into the place of the moon. And we find that we have an eclipse, they have
confused their roles. What happens is one comes into the path of the other both of them disappear,
and you won't see the stars, you definitely won't see the stars. And the Hadith tells us that is it
is a sign of tiama the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he tells us when you see
the sun or the moon eclipsing, you'd better engage in da until that particular sun or moon goes back
into its cause and you see it come back, you engage in do you engage in Salah because it is indeed a
		

			sign from amongst the signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala because one day the sun will rise from the
west and set in the east. And that day, it will be a major sign of tiama some of the scholars make
mention of an Eclipse and when the sun and the moon are eclipsed, then the sun will move in the
other direction as it is coming out. And this is why we are told by the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam to engage in and to engage in the tech appeal of Allah subhanho wa Taala and Salah until the
sun returns or the moon returns to where it is supposed to be that we know there is a whole Salah
known as Salah of the eclipse, Salah tunku, or salatu salam. Now what happens is, we've heard a
		

			little bit of the roles of mother and father in the house.
		

			When mother wants to be father and father wants to be Mother, what would happen they would be a
clash of roles. And this is why I have been saying for the last two days that it is not a battle as
to who is more powerful. It is definitely a battle as to who is fulfilling their role in the best
way. When mother wants to be father and father wants to be mother they will be a social Eclipse,
they will be chaos in that home. And do you know who will suffer the most the children will suffer
the most because they are grappling and they are searching and hunting for guidance for light for
love for comfort. If they cannot get it from mother and father, they may then turn elsewhere which
		

			might become extremely dangerous. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant our children insha Allah, the
acceptance to see the benefit of both mother and father. I mean, we also realize and understand that
when a man wants to be a woman and a woman wants to be a man, the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam has cursed such people. And he says it is a sign of tiama it is a sign of the end
of times, we find nowadays May Allah protect us all. We hope it is not in our homes, but in many
places you find people have mixed their roles. Allah subhanho wa Taala has left the role of a female
the role of a female and the role of a male is indeed a masculine role. We need to assume these
		

			responsibilities and we need to execute them in the best way possible so that we can achieve the
mercy of Allah somehow.
		

			hautala
		

			and this is why it is important that we look at these examples in the Quran. And we extract the
jewels and the diamonds from these examples, they are not coincidences. They are carefully planned
by Allah subhanho wa Taala. And really if you open the books of Tafseer they will come a time when
you will come through so many different examples of the Quran. Just the parables, just the
similitudes of the Quran, where you can derive a lot of benefit therefrom Take a look at this dream
Allahu Akbar, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us benefit from this dream inshallah. And we
ask Allah subhanho wa Taala, to open the doors of all of us in this dunya and in the era, remember
		

			to fulfill your role. Remember the qualities that are required of a male, remember the qualities
that are required of a husband in the house, and the qualities of a wife in the house, we ask Allah
subhanho wa Taala to make us really from those who can uplift and uphold. And at the same time when
it comes to the children, we need to have a very good link and relation with our children, the doors
of communication need to be open 24 hours of the day, if your child cannot communicate with you and
cannot tell you exactly what is in his or her heart, then probably your relation with them is not
ideal, because then they will go to the neighbor, they will go to their friends at school, they will
		

			go elsewhere. And they will want to get help from people who are not qualified enough nor do they
have a genuine feeling, nor do they sometimes have parents who have looked after them. Rather, they
will be educated by the television May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all.
		

			So it is important to have a very open relation. And an open relationship does not mean you must let
them get away with murder, know where they are wrong. You need to speak to them, convince them talk
to them tolerate what they are saying but then utilize your mind to convince them. The reason we say
convince them is if you were to use the stick in order to make sure that whatever you say goes then
for as long as you are present, they will listen to you the minute you go out, they will be on the
other side May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us protection. But if you have convinced your child to
do something, then naturally the even in your absence the child will know I've got to read my Salah.
		

			Why? Because of this benefit that benefit that benefit. I've got to tell the truth, not because my
father is gonna beat me up No, because I have a responsibility to my Creator, I need to be a good
loyal, lawful Muslim, may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding. So the idea or the issue
of communication both within the marriage between husband and wife, as well as the children is
extremely important. And we'd also like to open one more door of communication or the importance of
one more point of communication is between the parents and the children, the in laws and the sons or
daughters in law, that is also a very, very important door. And remember one thing whenever you want
		

			to correct someone, don't hold back, whenever you want to correct someone even if they are going to
feel bad, for as long as you are polite and respectful Subhan Allah, if they are decent human
beings, they will understand it if not today, then tomorrow, you are not allowed to leave back
correction where you feel that someone is going wrong, you need to address it as soon as possible
because if you don't, they will plunge deeper into the disaster and it may have a ripple effect or a
stippling effect whereby so many other people will be harmed by the damage of you not having
corrected the individual or the person. So, even if your parents are going wrong, your children are
		

			going wrong your spouse is going wrong your in laws are going wrong and so on. You need to with
utmost respect, open the doors of communication and speak to them in sha Allah and through this
communication we will achieve and receive goodness inshallah, if we are sincere and we are good.
There is one more point before I end for this evening and that is many times many times as human
nature as human nature, people think that they are the only ones who are right. And what happens is
you sit and you listen to an opinion and you say no ways this is out. Believe me the criteria is
whether or not Allah has commanded it. If Allah subhanho wa Taala and His Messenger have instructed
		

			something Yes, then we will shut off and we will listen to that inshallah. But when it comes to
other opinions of this world, your spouse, your children, your parents, your in laws, believe me, it
cannot be overstressed for us to say that we definitely need to listen to others opinions and give
up your view. Giving up your view at times when it rarely is just a worldly opinion is
		

			Sometimes a very great act of worship, and it will help resolve and solve so many problems in your
marriages and in your homes. Just by giving up your opinion you definitely dearly think and believe
that things must happen this way. Believe me for once please try and turn and see another direction.
May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us in every single way. I've decided to keep it a little bit
shorter today as it is the second last night tomorrow inshallah we will be completing the Quran in
this Masjid. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to benefit us all, and to grant us all the acceptance to
have listened to every single word of the Quran. And at the same time tomorrow evening, we hope and
		

			pray that we can go through some of the supplications and do as that Allah subhanho wa Taala has
made mention of in the Quran, with the idea of benefiting from it, starting with the fact that we
need to make a dua that Allah grant us spouses and children who will be the coolness of our eyes.
Listen to what Allah subhanho wa Taala says in Surah Furqan describing the believers the true
believers he says, while levena Jaco no narrow bana habarana mean as Gina was re Yeah, Tina kurata
noon. Nanny tokina Emma, the true believers are those who make a prayer to say Oh Allah, grant us
from our wives and our children, those who will be the coolness of our eyes, and make us leaders of
		

			the righteous of Han Allah. So this dua we need to make it on a constant basis. The reason is, if
you are not married, Allah will grant you a spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes together
with righteousness. And if you are married Allah subhanho wa Taala can help improve your condition
as well as the condition of your spouse through the same drama and supplication. May Allah subhanho
wa Taala grant us happiness in this dunya as well as in the era and May Allah subhanho wa Taala help
us help one another. And at the same time, may he really help us to enter Jenna through His mercy
for sallallahu wasallam albaraka Allah Nabina Muhammad Subhana Allah Subhana Allah humblebee Hamdi
		

			Ganesha to Allah Allah Allah
		

			Allah