Mufti Menk – Children and Habits

			Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
		

			Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al Hamdulillah he was the who was Allah Allahu wa salam ala Baraka, Allah
Mallanna BIA back there who was early, he was lucky to be here Jemaine my brothers, my sisters, when
a child is born, Allah Almighty has chosen that that child, and all of us were children, comes onto
this earth with a blank hard drive. What that means is, Allah Almighty has given the child a brain
and all the organs, a mind, and everything that the child needs to be able to live on Earth. But
that brain will be filled by the parents or those who are around the child as the child grows up.
		

			And Allah has chosen this as a test for the parents, as well as later on for those children when
they grow older. If Allah wanted he could have if Allah wanted, he could have created us.
		

			With a hard drive that is full of all the apps that are needed throughout our lives, I'm calling it
apps but you know what I mean?
		

			Everything you need, you could have come out and say Salam aleikum. Well, it did happen. With whom
		

			it has happened.
		

			With whom? For Ashara Eli. Hey, Paul. Okay for fan who can live?
		

			Can feel man the sabe
		

			Meriam Alayhis Salam, Mary May peace be upon her. She pointed to the child who was just born, Jesus
may peace be upon him he Sally's Salam. And she said
		

			nothing. She just pointed to the child when they asked What have you done? She pointed to the child
they said how could we speak to someone who is in the cradle a little baby?
		

			What did he see? Miraculously? All in me have a doula here. Danny and kita abou Jai La Nina be
		

			part of the statement. He says I am Abdullah. I am the worship of Allah. Allah Almighty has granted
me
		

			the revelation and made me a Prophet that was miraculous, but that is not normal. That is beyond
what is normal. It is miraculous. It was chosen by Allah.
		

			Adam Alayhis Salam before that was created by Allah in his proper shape and form. And he already had
the height and the width and all the organs and everything and Allah blew
		

			the soul into Adam Alayhis Salam. And Allah says we're Allameh add, sma Aquila. We taught Adam the
names of everything. We taught him every when he was created. Obviously he wasn't born he was
created in adulthood. He already spoke. Why? Because like I called it the hard drive the hard drive
the brain was already full of what whatever was needed. Allah says He gave him Is it impossible for
Allah to do that for you? And I The answer is no. He can do it but he has chosen not to.
		

			And the reason is, like I said, Mommy mo looting Illa EULA, do Alfetta Tifa who you are with Danny?
Are you gonna say Ronnie? Oh uma Giussani the plan of Allah He creates the child upon what is known
as nature natural Phaedra Phaedra is nature if you leave a child uncontaminated in the desert, or in
a land where there is no involvement of anyone else, if it was possible for the child to survive,
and the child survived, the child would have grown up recognizing Allah and staying away from bad
and that which is harmful and evil on its own. Because Allah has created you upon nature, and it
would worship Allah alone because naturally, a person is inclined, if it is uncontaminated, to turn
		

			towards the maker, to acknowledge there is a supreme deity, but the problem we face is from a very
young age, like the Hadith says, the child is born upon nature, but the parents are guilty of making
the child inclined this way or that way. If it is negative, and they would be rewarded if it is
positive.
		

			So in the very early stages, Allah has given you as a parent
		

			that bit
		

			have a responsibility that you take care of this child and teach it goodness, the first words are
from you. Now, the reason I say this is today, we've realized how people come into the child's lives
and other children's lives and take away from the parents.
		

			That duty and responsibility
		

			what happens I'm not talking about your environment in your home within yourself, you might have
Quran you might have taught the child Allah Allah, which is beautiful first words, look at what the
child is saying. Hola, hola, et cetera so beautiful. The child hears you read Quran and watches you
read Salah and fulfills it with you because automatically Allah has kept within any child, the power
and the ability of mimicking the child will mimic Follow. Follow you know if you have children, may
Allah bless those without children with children say I mean
		

			even if you're not married, the reason is that dua would include the marriage first we are muslims
you know that.
		

			So if there's a young man saying you don't have children make dua that I have children you say Amin,
he means let me have a wife first. That's what it means. So it's a two in one dua mashallah
		

			so
		

			we mashallah are given this responsibility but we forget there are other factors, the schools you
decide to send your children to, they indoctrinate the child whether you know or not, the cartoons
or the movies or the way you speak, you scream, the child grows up believing it's normal to scream,
start screaming, you swear the child grows up believing it's normal to swear. But if that doesn't
happen, the day the child is exposed to that it will automatically feel ashamed. Hey, did you hear
that uncle? A big swear word, if in be
		

			some people, for some people, that's a bank.
		

			But for others, it's a bad swear word, man, may Allah protect us.
		

			And then there's another child saying, What's the big deal, but that's a big swear word. Look at the
contrast. You are neighbors you live next to each other. For one child, it's a big deal to say the F
word and for the other child, they utter it as though it is salt and pepper in their scrambled eggs
in the morning. Allah grant us ease. Why? Because that is Allah. Allah has taught us that when you
get used to something, you will consider it No. So be careful what you are exposed to and what you
allow your children to be exposed to be careful.
		

			And that's why we live in an environment where taught choose a good environment, shift your home if
need be. If that environment is bad, it will be worth it because your children will grow up at least
understanding what's good and bad because it's only up to a certain age. Once they clock a certain
age, then it takes a little bit longer to get them used to something negative.
		

			Say for example, a youngster started watching * at the age of 25. For example, may Allah protect
all of us. It might take them they will feel guilty if they've had a good upbringing. But if they
keep on doing it again and again, it becomes a habit when it becomes a habit it becomes difficult to
remove it. But the guilty feeling initially depicts your good upbringing and it depicts the fact
that you're a believer and you are concerned about Allah subhanho wa taala. That's what it depends.
Because if you're not concerned about Allah, you wouldn't be bothered anything and everything. There
is no distinguishing between halal and haram. The Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam says
		

			when your good deed makes you happy, and your bad deed makes you sad and regretful, it's a sign that
you're McMunn and the belief that they because your bad deed is making you regret. That's what it
is. But when you have no regret over something bad you've done, it becomes habitual person who
commits adultery for the first time they can't sleep hamdulillah because they can't sleep because
they want to go back to Allah the Toba, they want to turn what was that for? What did I gain, et
cetera. But when they get themselves into the habit, what happens? They don't even blink an eye for
them. It's like, oh, by the way, Stavroula that's what happens. A person who has drunk or did drugs
		

			for the first time, it really bothers them. But after a while they get used to it. The point is, my
brothers, my sisters, humankind is created in a way that you whatever you get yourself used to you
become that so get yourselves used to good things. You want to do your Salah. Initially, if you
haven't been fulfilling it properly, it will be a mission for the first 40 days to four months. It
will be a mission. It's tough. Force yourself to fulfill your Salah. Get up for Fudger when 40 days
have clocked and you've done it for 40 days pushing yourself. I promised you the 41st Day comes
before your alarm clock actually goes off. You're already awake. Can you turn it off? Without
		

			anything? Why? Like created you that way?
		

			You got yourself used to something.
		

			Get yourself used to Quran every morning initially it's a push, you got to push yourself push
yourself initially you must, then what will happen? There will come a time when your day won't be
straight unless you've read Quran Allahu Akbar. That is it. Allah says you get used to something.
Family Madi, Murali income, here's the Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him he's saying
the best of your deeds are those that are done regularly even if they're a little what's the issue
here? Why regularly the best of your deeds regularly because it habitually arises, it becomes you it
becomes your habit. People know you're going to enter the masjid on a Friday that Uncle hook or
		

			crook will be sitting in the corner you watch. You come in at 12 o'clock early Mashallah. But you're
not the first one because there's someone who's gotten themselves used to that for the last 30 years
when you're going to compete with that man. May Allah help us. I want to encourage myself in
yourselves. Not only to get used to good habits and to eradicate bad you know, when you sweat at
home, and you scream and yell at each other, and you shout at each other and you've got no proper
conduct, you got to be tough on yourself for a while and then it will become secondary nature not to
scream anymore, it will become secondary, it will become then primary nature actually, that you know
		

			what this home is beautiful. We used to long back suede, for example, not talking about myself. But
anyway, we sang for example, a person says we used to swear at home, we know longest way because we
became tough and strong and the house is beautiful. We didn't use to complement each other the thank
yous and pleases as Muslimeen Jessa, Kamala Harris, etc. Beautiful words, get used to them
appreciate you don't just come in, where's the food? And then there you are, no, relax, relax, you
say JazakAllah Hey, I appreciate it. May Allah reward you get yourself used to it, push yourself,
force yourself, go home show good character conduct. It's not you people will be surprised. But it's
		

			a better version of who you're about to become. Let 40 days to four months pass. There's no fixed
time I'm just giving you the an average that people have worked on. And I tell you what happens.
That home becomes a beautiful home because you worked on it. You want to quit your habit initially,
it's going to be tough to quit that secret. Notice I'm giving you a light example. So it's heavy.
		

			But you crossed that threshold of so many days and you have the determination to please Allah to
meet Allah with a beautiful statement that I could this habit for your sake, Oh Allah, trust me, you
need to just become nature, you won't believe you were ever a smoker, nor will anyone else around
you. This uncle used to smoke can't be impossible.
		

			That's a lighter example. I can say I could have chosen heavier things. But let's start off there.
		

			But even the other habits, you have a bad habit, whatever it may be. And you know what the bad
habits are. He will got to be strong because the Hadith tells you when you are regular upon
something it becomes you. So let's be careful. Similarly, my brothers, my sisters, when it comes to
our children, we need to speak respectfully. We need to ensure that we guide them, we need to talk
to them and befriend them and make sure we treat them in a way we would like them to become.
		

			People say you want to talk Don't talk in front of the kids. The kids are here.
		

			You want to undress, don't undress in front of the children, the children nowadays they don't care.
People undress and dress in front of the kids and they say so what am the mother What are you
talking about? Who is the Khalifa I'm Allah Amin I need to instill in my children something these
values are being
		

			washed down, like no man's business. We need to revisit that.
		

			It's a duty I'm a mcmeen. Allah has created these children upon fitrah. If they don't watch you
going to the masjid or reading your salah or dressing appropriately or speaking properly, or showing
a keenness towards your Quran or towards a small moment of the day of the vicar of Allah, if they
don't want you do that, they never going to get those habits unless later on, Allah wants them to
come through.
		

			So many of us have changed later on in life. When we a little bit older, that is also a favor of
Allah.
		

			It's also a favor of Allah. My brothers, my sisters appreciate these favors of Allah welcome them.
It's your duty. When you talk when you walk. Even with one another your children are watching the
younger generation are watching. Today. They're exposed to so much of evil. Why don't we expose them
to so much of good? Keep your smile alive? Keep your goodness alive. Sometimes our children watch us
tell a lie. We lie openly and the kids Oh, that's what dad does. What do they do the following day
with their friends or with the school or wherever they they get an opportunity there is a lie
because dad does
		

			that every day, but if you make lies an issue that is huge, and it's a no go area, that child will
tell the truth, even if they're going to get into trouble for telling the truth Allahu Akbar, you
see. So this is the gift of Allah, these habits not just for kids for us, because it passes on, I
tell you, and I'd like to end on this note, perhaps
		

			my brothers and sisters, each one of us has a candle, or a baton, or whatever you want to call it,
or let's be more precise. We have the deen of Allah. We thank Allah. What's your duty? To pass it
on? Primarily to whom? Your own family members, your children? How are you going to pass it on?
		

			Simple. If you're dedicated and determined, and you have the help of Allah, and you constantly seek
the help and guidance of Allah, as we say, at dinner, Sarah tell Mr. Kim 17 times or more a day, I
promise you, my beloved brothers and sisters, we become conscious of it.
		

			And then we enjoy because the children are there. Do you know there are people who don't want their
children to mix at all in society and community because they believe that the minute you're going to
mix, you're going to get bad habits that are going to develop within you. We have a small problem
there too. Because when you're not there, those kids are going to have to mix with society. At some
point, they're going to swim in the deep end, you're going to have to get them exposed to something,
teach them how to deal with the negatives, don't remove them totally from it, because they are going
to need to deal with it. I used to say when I was a little bit younger, that you know what?
		

			Imagine if the world is so corrupt right now. We fear How will our children cope? Right? We gotta
hustle. And we got to do so many things. And we got to navigate through the corrupt world and so
dangerous, what's going to happen to our children? Isn't that the worry of the parents? Trust me.
You got to leave that to Allah. If you haven't expose them to all of that, then you've got to worry.
When I say expose, expose with the intention of assisting them to cope and to know how to deal with
not exposed in order for them to dive into. There's a difference.
		

			My brothers and sisters, This world belongs to Allah. He created everything that's here. And so he
knows what's going on. He wants us to stand up and rise to the challenge. rise to it. Don't lose
hope don't become despondent. I promise you. We all say the world's become a bad place sign of Yama.
Yama is near. Yes, those statements are true. But I want to tell you, there is hope in the Mercy of
Allah. Look at the masjid how full it is. Look at where it is. Look at how it looks. As I was coming
here. I just heard a little bit more about the masjid that they managed to pay what x y and Zed and
they managed to do that. And I said that is the deen of Allah. It is alive here. Meaning we are
		

			alive. We are here. We have a concern today I'm talking everyone is listening. It's for me and for
you don't we feel? Yes, correct. I need to do a little bit of what was said today, may Allah grant
us that goodness, we should increase the love between us. And that is why when we have differences
amongst us as an ummah, show your children and the new generation that those who are up and coming
how we manage those differences. We don't need to swear and shout and scream and belittle and call
names because that's not a sunnah. That's nowhere near what Islam teaches, even though you and I
know and gloves off. They are scholars who do that today. Nevermind, it's their weakness. And you
		

			know what? excuse them, but don't teach that to your children. You say? Listen, my child, if you
differ with someone, you can register the difference.
		

			Respectfully without insulting the individual. That's it. Because you are part of an ummah, you are
one family tomorrow when disaster strikes the OMA Wallah, he, we will have to stand up for one
another Come what may, there was a neighbor, Muslim also in one of the areas and he never used to
greet the other neighbor. Why? Because he belonged to what he felt was a different sect of Islam,
Muslims, both Muslims, but he says no, he can't greet no greeting. So one day there was a visitor
who came across and he greeted this man with no response. He said, My brother, I just want to tell
you one thing, the day the thugs come to your place, the man who's going to rush to your assistance
		

			is this man who you're not greeting
		

			and then he went away. And I tell you something struck a chord. Now, the brother comes to me and
says every time he passes salaam aleikum by what's happening, are you okay? Everything well, he says
no, Mashallah. Why? It hit him to say it's true, not just tugs floods can come, thugs can come, any
calamity can come an earthquake can happen. The disaster can happen. Who's there? The Prophet
Muhammad peace be upon him says Gibreel alayhi salam continued to remind me about the rights of a
neighbor so much so that I felt perhaps he's going to say when you
		

			you die your neighbor inherits a certain share of it.
		

			Because it has to be so important to have good neighbors. You got to be a good neighbor and have
good neighbors. That's your first port of call. Obviously we call out to Allah but what I mean is
physically from humankind there goes, may Allah protect us all. So let's be responsible as an ummah
there is hope we are growing we have a lot and inshallah we have so much of positivity. Learn to
love one another small differences you shouldn't take to heart a petty things, let them be released.
Don't worry, never. That's my brother. Nevermind, those are my sisters. Never mind. Look what I
said. You have people who say bad things, no problem. It's their weakness. It's excuse them you keep
		

			on doing good work one day that people will see
		

			one of the shakes when he was told about differences and so on. He said very, very simply, he drew
two lines. He says you see this line is skew. Instead of living your life, saying this line is skew.
		

			And swear the person who drew that line because it's a skill and all you got to do without talking,
draw a straight line next to it and walk away. What happens. Anyone who passes up to the end will
notice a there's a crooked line there but there's a straight line right next to it.
		

			The message is delivered. May Allah Almighty grant all of us goodness and forgive our shortcomings,
and grant us all the ability to love one another truly, and may our hearts be pure and clean because
as an ummah. Wallahi we need each other because that was the plan of Allah subhanaw taala
ultimately, it's Allah who we need, but Allah has kept us such that with an ummah collectively when
we feel for one another as one body, that is the only time we will grow a co lowpoly hada or sallahu
wa salam ala Nabina Muhammad