Mufti Menk – Can I Disagree with my Parents?

			Salam Alaikum Are we allowed to disagree with our parents or our elders? Well, the Quran teaches us
to be kind to our parents. And the Quran teaches us to be kind to adults, those who are older than
us, to respect them, and to listen to them. But definitely, if they're wrong, we should not agree
with them. When you know that your parent is wrong, you do not agree with something you know is
wrong. So you are allowed to disagree with your parents. Your allowed to disagree with the elders,
you're allowed to disagree with your teachers, you're allowed to disagree with your mentors. We're
all human beings, and we all can make mistakes. So if there is a mistake or something wrong,
		

			something does so in the disobedience of Allah subhanho wa Taala that you notice, you cannot just
agree with it because in that particular case, you will be responsible in the eyes of Allah subhanho
wa Taala for having agreed with something that is displeasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala. So many
times people say well, look, that's your father, just listen to him or that's your mother or that's
an older person or that's your teacher, that's your standard or that's a chef, etc. To be honest
with you. They're human beings. That's what we should realize. And yes, when it comes to Allah and
His Messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we do not disagree with anything we agree with
		

			everything they've brought because Allah subhanho wa Taala is the creator, the nourisher, the
cherisher. He is the decider. He is the one who lays the rules and regulations. The Prophet Muhammad
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam totally protected from error, mistakes, blunder, etc. So we obey
everything. And Allah mentions this in the Quran, that it is not befitting for a believing male or
female, that when Allah and His Messenger have declared something that they feel they still have an
option about it. But when it comes to your father's, your mother's your brothers, the older people,
like I said, your teachers, your shares, the Imam, whoever else it may be, you will disagree with
		

			them in certain things when they are wrong. Some you may disagree with them more often, or in more
things and some in less things. Some you may not pick up any disagreement, but you need to know
where they are wrong, they are wrong. One of the weaknesses of mankind is we tend to look up to
people sometimes in a way that we put them on a pedestal such that they can never make mistakes. And
if they do make mistakes, it doesn't mean my brothers and sisters, that we hate them, we dislike
them or we're disrespecting them. To me. The greatest disrespect is actually when you know someone
is doing something wrong, and you cheer them on. That is great disrespect, it shows that you don't
		

			care for them. You don't love them, and actually, you don't respect them. So, once again, are we
allowed to disagree with our parents? The answer is when and if they are wrong, yes, you're allowed
to disagree not only allowed, you have to Ibrahim alayhis salam disagreed with his father
completely. And in fact, his father warned him and threatened him and he still disagreed because it
was a major issue. It was something to do with Allah subhanho wa Taala and faith in Allah. And so my
beloved brothers and sisters, the main thing you need to remember is Be polite, be kind. Don't be
disrespectful, but you can disagree with respect. This is why I say and we all here many times
		

			people say that you know what, with all due respect, I disagree, or I respectfully disagree. That's
what it is.
		

			There is no need to be impolite to be abusive. In fact, it's haram and prohibited to be vulgar, to
be hurtful and
		

			to choose words that are very, very harmful, hurtful, etc. But when we disagree, we do so for the
pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala in a beautiful way, you can disagree with your mother as well,
if you can be wrong, and she can be corrected. This is something that many people feel that's my
mother, I can't say anything. That's my father. That's my chef. That's the Imam that's, that's a
scholar, etc. You can correct them very respectfully. You can disagree and in fact, they would if
they were genuine appreciate correction. So this was just a clarification or a video in order to
explain that Allah subhanho wa Taala
		

			Allah has asked us to do the right thing.
		

			And to stay away from the wrong thing and to guide people towards goodness. Muhammad sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam disagreed with a lot of the elders of Porush. And not only that, many of them were
his own uncles, and they were from his own family. In fact, if you look at our booth, and the
profits are seldom continued to remind him but very politely, to worship Allah alone, and many other
factors. Now, when it comes to petty disagreements, we can stay away from those. We don't need to
disagree for minor things when it comes to matters of importance, matters of justice matters where
you know that this is wrong. Sometimes there is a trait that needs correction, sometimes your father
		

			gets very angry, your mother becomes very vulgar, she needs to be told my beloved Mother, I love you
so much, I care for you. But your swearing, your abuse, your hurt, your hate is unacceptable, not
only in the eyes of Allah, but it's going to create a problem between us too, because a day will
come when we won't be able to live with you anymore, because of the way you're using your tongue. So
learn to speak respectfully and kindly as well. As much as we're taught to be respectful to those
older than us, where we're also taught that we should be merciful towards those who are younger than
us. That doesn't mean we should disrespect them. But it's more the point that we should be
		

			concentrating on
		

			amazing teachings of Islam, my brothers and sisters, while we acknowledge the seniority of people,
we have to understand where they are wrong. They need to be told in a very respectful way, if
needed, and at the same time, we should understand we should disagree with that which is wrong in
the eyes of Allah subhanho wa Taala. May Allah bless every one of us. And may Allah subhanho wa
Taala grant his beautiful homes, may we be parents who can take from our children correction. And
may we be from among those whom, no matter how old we are, we can actually take correction from
those who are younger than us. When they disagree with us. We don't feel bad, we don't feel hurt.
		

			And we don't blackmail them by telling them. I'm older than you. You have to listen to me. I'm your
father, you have to obey instructions. Heaven lies at my service or at my feet or whatever else
people say, in order to blackmail their children into submission even when they are wrong. Remember,
we cannot say heaven lies at the feet of the mother, if that particular mother herself is heading
towards a place besides heaven. So that's something very interesting and important. If you were to
think about it may Allah grant us origin that will fail there was a call locally, however, was Salam
aleikum wa rahmatullah here. What I get