Mufti Menk – Advice that makes things worse

			Salam Alaikum, my brothers and sisters, when advising people, the first thing you need to do is do
it for the pleasure of Allah. Then you need to put yourself in their shoes in order to understand
who they are, where they come from, what their background is, what is their social standing, their
families? do they work? Are they homeless? What type of a home do they have? Do they have a job? Do
they not? their family members? Are they Muslim? Are they not Muslim? What country do they come
from? What culture do they come from? How much have they improved and so on? Where Where are they
right now, you know, you have someone who's just accepted Islam, someone who's just turned to Allah,
		

			someone who's a Muslim who's very weak. And if you were to speak to them in a harsh way, you will
chase them away from the deen even further than what they were prior to them being practicing. So be
careful when you're doing it for the pleasure of Allah. Be soft, be lenient, when Allah Almighty
sent to the Prophet Moses Musa alayhis salaam to the pharaoh in our own, Allah tells him to speak in
soft words, in kind words, perhaps it might affect the pharaoh in a positive way. So if Allah saying
this, knowing that the pharaoh is never going to achieve guidance, what about those who are coming
towards the path, don't be harsh on them. Don't be hard on them with your words, with your method
		

			with your approach, remember to put yourself in their shoes, some people are struggling, they have a
relationship with Allah, and they are moving at full speed coming towards Allah subhanho wa Taala.
But their full speed might be 50 kilometers an hour is good enough. So behind Allah, your full speed
might be 100 kilometers an hour, it's good enough, it doesn't mean they're not doing well. They're
doing very well in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So encourage them understand how much
they've improved, I usually tell people who've just reverted to Islam, to practice as they're
learning. And as they're able to practice to push themselves as best as they can, based on their
		

			surrounding circumstances, etc. Obviously, there are certain things that we don't compromise on. But
there are certain things we slowly but surely continue to practice in a better way such that as we
learn, we put into practice and we basically have such a warm relationship with the, with our fellow
Muslims, with our fellow human beings. And we have a beautiful relationship with Allah who created
them. So don't be too hard and harsh. When you advise people there is a lot that you need to
consider the method, the way you speak, could actually chase them away from the dean, like I said,
and the way you speak could actually make those who are far away from the dean, fall in love with
		

			Allah subhanho wa Taala simply because you are looking at the goodness within them, and polishing
it, making it shine. So it out shines the bad that is in them and actually eclipses it at some point
where they no longer do it. They no longer do the bad, they become so good. And all you did was just
help them realize their beautiful human beings with kind souls struggling in their relationship with
a lot like all of us. We're all trying to do much better. None of us has arrived at the coast. None
of us has arrived at the end, none of us. In fact, once you arrive at the end, it will be too late
for you to come back to tell us but we will encourage each other in a beautiful way, in a beautiful,
		

			amazing way. There are some people whose families are dead against them being Muslim, there are some
people who have been threatened. Some people have actually been harmed, and some have situations
where it is so difficult for them to do anything because that's the situation may Allah make it easy
for you, if you're in that situation, and May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for all of us to
reach out to one another in the most beautiful way, bearing in mind each other circumstances and
speaking to each other in the most blessed way. And may Allah continue to use us to reach out to one
another in such a way that we all improve. Our cola cola was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah