Jumuah .03.06.2020
Mohammad Elshinawy – Silent Demands of Youth 02
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of character in life, including the need for a defined character and a positive youth development. They stress the negative impact of social media and the need for a culture of choice. The importance of acceptance of one's own success and protecting one's identity and reputation is emphasized, along with the importance of showing faith in one's own children. The success of confidence in young people is also emphasized, and the importance of letting them fail and feeling accountable for failures is emphasized.
AI: Summary ©
Now we'll learn guitar and then surely fusina will say yes Dr. Medina, Mahan de la la la la la la la la mejor de la Chateau La ilaha illallah wa la sharika washa Donna Mohammedan abiteboul whenever you are pseudo
Yeah, you're Latina mo de la foto party. He doesn't want to 11 to Simone yohanna su de fora Bakula de la comida de wahida wahala amin has the best time in humare jailing Cathy around Juanita otaku la la de casa Luna Viva La Han in namaha. Can aliko rafidah yeah you hola Dena mano de la pulu Poland's de de de use Lacuna Coil silicones and overcome my nuclear Allah how to level the frozen alima for praise and glory be to Allah We thank him and we seek His help and his guidance and his pleasure in his forgiveness. And we seek refuge with Allah from the whiskey whispers within us and from the consequences of our evil need.
For remember our lives villages guide men can lead astray and lever on loneliness astray, none can ever guide. And we testify that no one is worthy of worship of Allah and Allah alone without any partners, the true supreme King, the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was his service and his prophets and His messenger from Allah centers of mercy to the world.
Oh, you have believed have the will of Allah present in your life at all times, and in the manner that he deserves to be thinking of him and his greatness. apana was Allah and do not die except in a state of complete and total willing and consistent, loving surrender to Allah state of Islam.
To begin,
we discussed last week, the silent demands of the youth, and how some in our time,
say that the US demand require five things that they would be in very difficult standing without, and they were called the five C's.
The first of them we covered it already was that of competence. If we don't instill in our youth, invest in our youth, and in their skill set, they will become irrelevant. And we said this is different from confidence. Because the problem is that when your confidence without skills, it becomes even worse.
And so to actually be skilled, though, we will revisit conference later is very important. And we said sometimes we fall short in this because we are limiting ourselves, instead of discovering what their strengths are and helping them master them, we decide automatically what their strength has to be, which is unfair.
Because that may never be their potential. And people have different potentials. And so our job is to basically set them in their right direction for them, not for us.
The second we said was the need to feel connected.
And we said through family and we spoke about how that mitigates so many problems physically speaking and otherwise, and through the message which is the second family and it should be where so many things that the households may lack could be supplemented here in the massages, and then we said the oma at large that you are part of a great nation, a great oma that allows those unchosen privilege. And we said the history of the oma is extremely important as well and oma of great all throughout history, so that they are not bogged down by the fact that the oma is certainly going through a period of weakness that makes it hard for a person to want to connect, when all they see
is the status quo, the present condition here and now. Today, we begin with the third of the five C's, the third of the positive youth development necessity. And this is the sea of character, character. character is the most important one of the five. It's especially for our time. This is the gaping hole in all of the theories, even those that see the importance of us developing the right character, the right personality, the right principles.
Because they see that in theory, they don't know how to apply that in the most important sense of the word sometimes. So what do we mean by character? We mean having structure on how you see things and how you do things. You're a person of clarity. That's what we mean, you have a defined character.
image should never mean just manners, not just your dealings with your people even before how you deal with people. character is how you deal with yourself. How do you see yourself How do you see your relationship with the world how you understand your existence.
That is a very, very important part. Why?
Because
So many of the faulty expectations people have set them up for a life of turbulence. Like if I don't accept that I am here for a very specific reason I know why I'm here. And I know exactly what I'm supposed to live by. At least I have the idea it is clear from you unless I have these things where I'm going where I'm supposed to be going, if I don't have these things I'll be playing trial and error I'll be experimenting my whole life
and that will fill our lives with frustration.
You know, even the blessing of being told in our Deen not just our purpose why we're here, not just told our guidance, what we need to live by. But we're even told in our Islam what we should expect to face what I will face that is a humongous blessing.
When our lives no as incense for example, then tubular would not be Mr. Equal to SQL you will be tried in your wealth and in your own lives. One of the smartphone dominant Lavina Alton keytab, I'm in comedy calm, one minute Latina su aku, Asan kefir, and you will hear from the people that received scriptures before you and from the idolaters are the polytheist many annoyances, you're going to hear a lot of stuff from them, lots of offenses gonna happen on you, you will surely be tested in this and this and hear that you will hear a lot of that Alesis as an kathira, were insults virile, was acceptable, and your only resort is was if you are patient, and you are conscious of
Allah for in as early come in as middlemore. This is of the very virtuous face of a state of affairs. This is a matter that requires great determination, just embrace that.
You know, the expectation that somehow one day people are all going to like me,
that is a very, very faulty way to look at the world, especially at a time when Muslims are in the state that they're in. And this was the case for most of the time, which one of the prophets lived in a Muslim majority population, which one of the prophets of Allah was politically dominant?
You can heart You can hardly find any, almost none use the valets dilemma at the end of his life, though the Dalai Lama, the exception, the rule is always was that they faced lots of pushback, they faced lots of counter pressures, counter forces in their lives.
And so Allah is telling them, you're just going to have to stick in your skin
so that you are not broken, you're not brought to your knees know that it's just gonna happen. It's over, it's done with stop trying to imagine a perfect world that is not meant for this world, that in and of itself is a huge asset for character development, you know, for our youth to bring this down to the youth, for our youth to say, you know what, I'm not here to cater to you. I'm not my world does not revolve around you. I am not your slave. I don't drool at your feet, until you're pleased with me.
That in a in a way is a problem for so many youth nowadays, looking for validation from everyone. And it will never happen.
Especially if you're a person who wants to be committed to Islam committed to the religion of Allah has no agenda. It's not trending at all. It gets the lion's share of bad press.
So for you to accept that that's who I am. I'm a person that does not beg people for validation. You know, I made many, many parallels last week with the
the abolitionists of the civil rights movement, and Malcolm X ray, Lala, and otherwise, even before Malcolm,
Harriet Tubman, who's known as the one who built the so called Underground Railroad, it was basically a bunch of safe houses that you would sneak people out of slavery to escape slavery through it. They say she freed 70 people, some say she freed 1000 people. This is for the historians to debate, but it is said that she used to say she used to say I save the 1000 people 1000 slaves through the underground system, right? She said and I could have saved 1000 more. If only they knew they were slaves.
They kind of internalized and accepted that they have to be like this.
They could no longer imagine the world any other way.
That's why many years later, when the civil rights movements were starting, Malcolm Rahim Allah He used to always tell people he would change people and he would say to them, which which type of black person are you? He used to draw this this parallel? He would call it the house * in the field *. He says Do you know the difference between a house * and a field v grow the house * is very submissive, so he can be inside his masters house, he gets to wear some nicer clothes. He always gets to wear some nicer shoes, and he doesn't cause any problems so he can be inside the house. Whereas the field * refused.
To allow his masters to think that I am not a threat,
he refuses to back down. So he has to stay in the field. He would say which one is the true sleep, you pick for yourself. Likewise, the Muslim says, I'm not your slave, I'm not going to cater to you. Because that would be slavery and I don't belong to you.
That type of I don't want to use the word existential, but the character development that begins that understanding my existence, that is the key to so much strength.
What does it mean to behave the way that I behave?
Malcolm Rahim Allah Himself used to always say you have to stand for something What are your principles are lt that you'll fall for everything. You'll be a handkerchief in everybody's hands. You know, in the Quran, we find this regarding the youth
that were in the case, the youth in suits and care, that fled persecution before their beliefs to the cave a lot though adjusted in their home. 50 years old and older have begun in Ghana fitness, 50 years when m and o European, Medina home Buddha, they were young men that believes in their Lord. And so Allah increase them in guidance. May Allah make all of our youth that way. But what did they do?
historian thing these people were princes, they were the children of the Royal class.
You know, the Royal class because of their extravagant lifestyle, it is harder for them to sacrifice than anybody else, because they're so used to comfort so used to luxury.
And so a lot as the origin said, because of their Eamon, we gave them the determination to sacrifice we increase them in guidance, we enabled them to do what people that had a harder life even couldn't do. Meaning the odds were stacked against these youth, they may have had the most difficult time because of their upbringing, because of their backgrounds and sacrifice. But somehow they were able to sacrifice because the hearts of character development is your conviction, Allah subhanho wa Taala.
That's what it's all about.
And so they're able to leave the palaces and go sleep on the cold, hard floor of the cave. Because they were youth who believed in their Lord. And so he increased them and guidance and that way to kind of go with Allah.
And so for our youth, and just a part of it, to accept that the road is not going to be easy to accept that.
Not everyone's gonna like me, no matter how hard I try to be a golden citizen, there will still be people out there that are victims of their ignorance, what they don't know about me, there will still be people out there, that even if they know who I am, and how well I behave and how ethical I am with others, they'll still be prejudiced because I look different, because I speak different because I believe different. These people will always exist. So that if that's my destiny, then that's my destiny is if my destiny is that people don't like me. So be
didn't the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam say to a young man, he said to the youth, did he tell them something that they couldn't understand? Of course, he was telling them something he could understand. He was saying to someone in that age, the way we should say to the youth that the young, as he said to even I bet that young man,
the whole world wants to collaborate against you, they won't be able to harm you in any way, except in a way that Allah has written for you. Isn't that part of what he told him? Didn't he tell him depends have lifted, so be it right? That mentality comes from depends I've lifted, the ink has dried on the pages, it's over. Once you lose hope in that, you are able to find the determination to live a life have some tunnel vision to do whatever it takes.
You know, interestingly, in the life of the Prophet salallahu, alayhi wasallam. It was always the youth that spoke up first.
Sometimes they had to be reined in by the elders for their wisdom, but they were always the ones ready to sacrifice ready to have determination.
They were the quickest to believe.
And, and we need our youth to be like that as well. Whether in our families or in our massages.
We need their courage, we need their strength, we need their determination, but that has to be grounded in their faith or else it could self destruct.
As you know, the poet's he says, we're in America now. No, Minna, London fetter can overdo my engineer and he has Ooh, if Allah doesn't direct the energy of the young person, the very first thing to do him in will be his own strength. Because we're so forceful or so strong in that age, that it could cause us harm against ourselves. before the Battle of
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the Muslims, as you know, they were expelled from Mecca and they had to leave in a rush because they were not
It was one volunteer it was escaping persecution.
Two years into their stay in Medina, they heard that a caravan was passing by near Medina. So they went to confiscate this caravan. I mean, it only accounts for half of what was taken from them in Mexico and they had to leave their due, right. So when they went to do that, they thought they would catch the caravan off guard. And they would greatly outnumber the caravan and just take it.
A scout was on to them, informed them Atkins, they sent forth an army of 1900 to 1000 soldiers, and the Muslims were only about 316 317 on that day.
So the night before the battle, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, Sheila, you had lots of people. Tell me what you think.
And so working with your local NGO, and omoto on who consecutively they're always the first.
They rose and they said, We're with Yasuda. Let's do it. And each time the prophet SAW Selim would, you know, commend them acknowledge them for their statement. But still, he was waiting for something. And a young man noticed, this young man was added more eyes about their loved one who, sadly, did not die in this battle at the Orinoco, he died years later, also in the lab, at 37 years old. So this is the young men are surrounded by elders. He's in his early 30s at the start of his life, as they say
that advisors can actually do narrow coolala, Amaya so much as if you're waiting for us. You see, because we're working on what are from the Mexicans and the Mexicans were only a small amount of those 300. So even if the Mexicans are down to fight, it doesn't it's not the majority or anywhere close to it.
It's a quarter or less than the army. And so he says you probably are waiting for us to speak out for the law. You want to make sure that the people from Medina, the unsought are in agreement with this is the School of Law Do you think that we may not stand by your side because of the promise we gave you?
Because they told him out of sort of luck come to Medina and we will not let anyone attack you. So technically outside of Medina, we don't have to defend you. That's what the the letter of the contract says. Do you think we're not going to defend you out? He said to me Rasul Allah, national airmen and because of the neck, we believed in you and we accept everything you say is true.
Well, husband, Allah Delica, who Danelle mela see Akana, you took our promise on that. It's not because of the technicalities of a contract. We believe in You said your attitude a lot.
Do whatever you want. He says go where you want to march forward. Fourth, where you want to stop where you want, make allies and who you want. sever ties with who you want. That's what he told him. He said to him, take from our wealth, what you want, leave for us what you want, what you take is more beloved to us. And once you leave professional speech, I have a beautiful razor. He says so unless the bass like I've been have, I swear by the one who sent you the truth. If you walk into the ocean, we're going to walk in after you.
And don't be afraid we are true men on the battlefield. We are tough as they come. And maybe along we'll show you tomorrow, something from us that will please you.
And so the profits of a love audience and it was overjoyed by these statements of a young man
who understood this simple clear
understanding that is pure guidance from a large diligence that gives you such clarity in your life to see in a unidirectional way when it comes to faith when it comes to existence when it comes to this world and the next. May Allah grant us and our youngsters that love them, I mean, what's the level of autonomy and emotion
Alhamdulillah vida Platos 1111 Viva La ilaha illallah wa Hoda, Shakira or shadow under Mohammedan I will do whenever you who are pseudo.
I am determined to dedicate our next hobo to the elders in Sao Paulo. So Allah so allow me to finish very quickly the last two of the five seas and they are caring and confidence. We need to ensure that our youth are caring.
They are caring there. They don't live in alternative reality. They don't live in a video game world. They don't live with cold hearts after us. And we need to make sure that our youth are confident.
Being caring will only really happen
if they have received proper care. If they have not received enough of it. They're not going to be able to extend much of it. You know that our Deen made it a requirement in order to receive our loved mercy to be merciful in his creation. That's a given. But it was especially emphasized mercy with the youngsters
Because it has an extra important role when it comes to youngsters and youngsters are not just children. Though you can never start too early with something like this. You know, can you consider that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
said to allow cavagna habits in the Hadees is very famous. When he saw him kissing one of his grandsons. He said to me, rasulillah like I have 10 bullies, I don't use any of them. Meaning it's not how you supposed to treat men. That's not how you raise real men. You got to make them tough. He said to him, lm legal in Canada partners, I love them in front of the camera. How can I possibly help you? What can I offer you If Allah has plucked the mercy from your heart?
So this calls our attention to something very important, not just mercy and the importance of mercy because we all have mercy for our children. We all have mercy for our family members.
Expressing mercy acts of affection
is the secret here. That's the challenge for a lot of us sometimes. You know, sometimes with girls, it's might be slightly easier because it's obvious. But then with boys, we show void extra toughness that we want our boys to be tough, but toughness is not instilled in our boys in our young men, by withholding sensitivity. That actually backfires. Studies show this backfires you know, huge studies out of Stanford University.
A famous researcher His name is Albert Bandura. He wrote a book in the 60s about how adolescent aggression the youth that are aggressive and wind up in jail in juvenile detention centers and then prison those that commit the crime, the most crimes, crimes of aggression. They all seem to lack paternal affection affection from their mate the male side of the family or fathers or grandfathers their uncle
and so when you when you show insensitivity to the youth, men don't cry concept our prophet SAW Selim has the most tender hearts ever where this comes from you don't know Yes, instill some toughness, but not in a way that doesn't show sensitivity.
And then of course caring is not just about being sensitive. Caring is also about showing them that you are proud of them showing them validation expressing that is very hard for some of us. Maybe it just wasn't the way that we were raised. But it is the way is the province awful and called us to that is his way from Allahu Allah he'll tell them they didn't he say about the lesson.
In Ebony has a say it will allow her use LIFO be humane about entertaining them meaning this son of mine, meaning his grandson is a chief. He's a leader. He's a born leader. And perhaps a long will rectify, reconcile with him two warring factions of the believers. How do you think that makes him feel to hear someone say that about him?
Even in a gathering of men, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when his daughter would enter and this was not socially acceptable normal. He would say about heaven dignity, welcome my daughter, welcome. Come in. How do you think that made her feel validated in any gathering?
Abdullah has no role model Ravi Allahu anhu said one time we were sitting in a gathering with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he asked them all a question. He said, What is the tree that is most resembling of the believer? There's a tree that is
very much like the believer.
He said, and people mentioned different trees, types of trees that are found in the desert.
They mentioned a number of desert trees. And I felt inside me that it was denicola. It was the data tree the data palm tree, but I didn't want to speak because they were working on what are their the elders are there I can't speak.
So eventually, after they all put forward their guesses the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said in the agenda is to date palm trees. He says when we walked out, I said to my father, oh, my father, I said Tomas, I knew it was the date palm tree. He said, Why didn't you say
lo and behold, Canada have the ilium in Canada or Canada? Because Oh man, you don't know how much it would have pleased me for you to say it, that my boy said it. Right.
And so he said to him speak if you have something to say you say it, to validate him among the elders in that way while teaching them how to speak while teaching them to wait their turn while teaching them respect. That's of the ways to show you care about them. You validate them their existence.
And the last one very quickly,
is confidence. And confidence is a big one. But you we need to always recognize that our youth that we see in the massages by Allah's grace, we have them with us that we have at home maybe they can see through empty compliments.
And they get this satisfied. They're not satisfied at some level at some age.
At some point they no longer satisfied even with genuine compliments. Like even if you're honestly proud of them, they don't really care. Why? Because there is a part of confidence that only comes with not with kind words not with flattery, not with compliments. But with me feeling like I did something, I achieved something.
A part of confidence has to come say, I accomplished this, I succeeded.
And the only way to allow our youth to see success to themselves become confident because of something they felt they did is that we have to learn how
to let our youth fail. And this sounds crazy.
Most people don't know how to let the youth fail.
If they just let them fail in the ugliest sense of the word, right? They're totally negligent of their youth, it's uncalculated and it becomes a disaster. Right? When you just let them figure it out, no, they need you desperately.
But at the same time, if you don't allow them in a calculated way, to fail and feel accountable for their failures, they'll never feel accountable for their success, they won't feel like it's my success. Like if you don't let go of the steering wheel, he's not gonna believe that he's driving. You have to give them some room to possibly fail in something not too dangerous. So he feels like I embarked on the risk and I got it done. That is the type of confidence they look for.
And to analog, the perfect example of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. It is amazing how a human being this could only be through divine guidance that the prophet SAW Selim could be the master of every field of every character tree. This perfect balance was found in him.
And I'll end with that. Some of these aids are of your loved one was of the dearest people to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
He was called the ship of the ship, the beloved, the son of the Beloved, like if you filter out everyone is beloved to the province offer lemon, he comes out on top, he can tend to that hasn't seen his grandson used to carry them together. He was the son of data behind it that is often son of the province often, hardly anyone on the face of the earth earned that love.
When he was young, younger,
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa send them sent him and a bunch of Muslims on a expedition, a military expedition said we went to a place for some people from a total GPA, he says and there was the mission command that did so much damage to the Muslims. He was killing Muslims left and right. Until finally Allah gave us victory. He ran Nina and I'm sorry man, chase him down. And then he falls under a tree. And he says that you know, hey, Mama.
As we stood over him, he said that you know, in the law, so the Ansari man pulled his arm back, but I couldn't. I didn't. And I plugged my spear into him and I killed.
News of this got back to Medina. They told the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he goes back to Medina he admits it. He goes and tells it himself. He finds out the prophets often them had heard it already. Even though he went he was not hiding it because I felt uneasy about it.
So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to me, cartels are bad and Corolla either a llama you killed him after he said that in a llama. He said yasunaga Cara motto was that he was just trying to protect themselves. So obviously he just killed all of us the moment we're about to give him some feedback is that you know, a llama. You can he said a Chicago time called v. Did you open his heart to know if he said it? Out of fear of death or not? Did you open his heart?
And so Osama eventually back down. And he said, he stuck with me out of Salalah I also love seek forgiveness from ask Allah to forgive you. You know you would think the prophet SAW Selim immediately would raise his hand to the ALLAH forgive him. Yeah, alone.
Except from him. Yeah, Allah, the ocean of mercy that is the province offer them
held him accountable. Because we certainly are of sudama. The problem is often them just kept repeating. So the case i'm talking about will be that, you know, hey, Lola, is a jazz piano. What are you going to do with it, let alone a company they have judgment about Hey, Lola, because you're all sort of wanting forgiveness from he says, What are you going to do with that, you know, hit a lot when it comes to the Day of Judgment. How are you going to face that? And he kept saying that Oussama said, until I wished that I had not become Muslim except that day.
So that I can start all over. I wish I had not become Muslim until that day.
So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam held him accountable for his mistake for his failure. And osemele only was the province of lm did not allow Oussama to see himself or the community to see him as defined by his mistake. How do we know that
didn't allow him to get crippled because of that huge mistake he made. The very last army our province often them tend to before he died was called J. Shu sama was led by Osama disease. And Osama on that later day was 17 years old.
He still had him at the forefront once he owned his mistake. Once he admitted it, once he felt sorry for it. The Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam did not dismiss him because of it. And that is the key to the success of our youth to give them room to make a little bit of mistake and hold them accountable, but to not cancel them because of it.
May Allah guide us to the guidance of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and protect our youth and raise their ranks a lot not to lose to minamisoma when we mean our minister is that it's not also loosely mean issue Moldovan our Hello Tana Osama hotel robotic on eBay and Amazon early he will not be useful.
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