Mohamad Baajour – Peaceful Homes and Choosing a Spouse

			To listen to this at the same time in sha Allah Tala. So number one
		

			the shift started by righteousness when I want to marry a woman or I'm looking for
		

			a young lady for my son.
		

			The first thing I should look for is righteousness. And that is derived from the hadith of
Rasulullah Salam that we all know, Tonka Almora, the Aruba, Tang Kamara, the Aruba, Denali her when
he has to be her when he Jamali her when he Dini her thumb for me that in theory, but
		

			Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the hadith is metaphorical. Both in Bukhari and Muslim.
are soulless, Isilon said, a woman is sought in marriage for four reasons for her wealth, for her
status, linear Gianni, for her beauty. And for the dean, take seek the one with the dean, may you be
successful 30 But yeah, duck
		

			30, but a duck and Arabic is a term that is used, like May your hands be full of dust, that means
Yanni in a way that you get so poor, that you that he went down to the ground and your hands, it's a
term that is used in Arabic, or it means that it's some kind of scalding and you better do that, you
know, this kind of what telepathic means. So, so allah sallallahu sallam was saying this hadith, by
the way, this hadith is misunderstood by many people.
		

			They think that a soulless I Salam said, it means that you're allowed to marry someone for the
beauty only, you're allowed to marry someone for lineage only. You're allowed to marry someone for
money only. And you're allowed to and then Ursula Sasaram said, take the one with the dean. That
Hadith means does not mean that it means that women are people marry women. For one of these four
reasons. People marry a woman for one of these four reasons. Either they marry a woman because they
loved her beauty, or because she has a lot of money, or because she's from a good family, or because
of the Dean Rasulo as I said, and said, No, no, no, take the one with the dean. Take the one with
		

			the dean. Now.
		

			Let's go one by one. A lot of people you know.
		

			As a matter of fact, I know.
		

			Someone personally, that his father
		

			insisted on him to marry this person strictly for money.
		

			strictly
		

			for money, her father is literally a billionaire. And he told him listen, you know, take this girl,
you have a safe future.
		

			I have never seen anyone more miserable than the brother in his married life. No one I know
personally more miserable than this brother.
		

			The when you when you take this as the main reason and you neglect the others. And don't
		

			misunderstand that if the dean is there and the money came with it, Allahu Akbar. But if the main
reason was the money like this case, I'm explaining
		

			Subhanallah
		

			she will put you down.
		

			She will keep reminding you constantly about that. She is the one who did this to you. She is the
one who did that to you. She is the one who supported you. She if she has no Dean. If she has no
Dean, she is going to keep reminding you of that money. She is going to keep reminding you
		

			how rich he is and how poor you are. Or how poor you are.
		

			Or if somebody married somebody for lineage. Oh no you know what you have to marry this you know
this is a big family. Her father is this her mother is that her grandfather's this they are very
well known in back home in our country. There they are this they are that Subhanallah if that is the
only reason that's another problem. She is also
		

			in the future. Do you know who you married and you know when you speak to a man in this manner you
you kill him you know you ruin his ego you ruin everything Subhanallah third, little German and this
is a very common you see somebody wants to marry someone strictly for the beauty. That's it.
		

			The beauty
		

			vanishes disappears after a while.
		

			Like one chest one time give us the example. He said Catherine lady stop codon Aaron. Just like like
the fire
		

			The front slit, it's giving light and heat, but when it goes down only you're gonna get burned.
		

			You're only gonna get burned when the light is gone Subhanallah So, the beauty goes also and the
money could disappear, and the lineage the father dies, the family has had some kind of consider
small mercy about or what you call it
		

			that is some kind of, they do in their name, you know, disaster. So, all these things finish, but
take the one with the dean. Now, if you remember, we did that once before and I will repeat it.
		

			So soloists I said, I'm gonna take the one with the dean, and he said, you put you put number one,
right? You write down, write down number one, I wish to have a board I would have sold you put
number one. That's the one associated and take, take the one with the dean. If she has beauty, add
another zero next to it. That means you get a woman that is worth 10 woman. If she has beauty and
wealth, add another zero, you get a woman that is worth 100 woman. If she has lineage, add another
zero. So now she has beauty, lineage and wealth and the dean. So that's a woman that how it's worth
1000 woman.
		

			But if she doesn't have the dean, you take the one out all you are left with zeros
		

			or you're left with zeros. That's all you get. So when you get all these zeros,
		

			they're not in the bank account, they are right in front of your face. So So you're in trouble. And
we all know that Subhanallah as the next Hadith will explain that Subhanallah having a righteous
woman like our Salah salem said in the next Hadith here, the best treasure in life, the best
treasure in life hygrometer in dunya
		

			Alma Salah is to have a righteous woman at at home
		

			and windowsill allah sallallahu sallam was asked the other sunnah Allah
		

			what kind of wealth should we keep? What kind of wealth should we keep? Or some loss I sell them
said, Leah Turkey is called Venture Karen. When he said and there Karen was OSHA 10
		

			was OSHA 10 minutes and two, no other Emeril akhira. He said, let each of you have a grateful heart
a grateful tongue. Have a grateful heart and a tongue that is constantly remembering Allah azza wa
jal and a believing wife who would assist him in regard to the affairs of the of the hereafter.
Subhanallah the best wealth you could ever have is not money is to have a color checker. He see the
color checker, your heart is Shachar your heart is very grateful to Allah azza wa jal for everything
that He has given you. And Alison Decker, and his son, a tongue that is constantly remembering Allah
subhanho wa taala. And third, which is our Shahid is a woman that assist you and help you. If you're
		

			mortal after a woman that wakes you up for Fisher, a woman that encourages you to fast, the optional
fast, a woman that will tell you make sure you check up on your parents all the time, a woman that
will be careful how to spend your money Subhanallah these are the women that will bring a peaceful
home. And then Hadith that we mentioned also before Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
		

			He said other bad men Assad or other bad Amina Charcot for things will bring happiness Subhanallah
Can you imagine? How many seminars and how many books are written about how to how to be happy how
to bring happiness? 1000s Maybe?
		

			How about how to have happiness from the best man ever created? The most eloquent man, the one who
gets away from Allah azza wa jal, right Subhan Allah couldn't get any better than that. I don't know
if I mean aside for things that will bring happiness and for the things that will bring marriage who
remember them, we mentioned them before many times.
		

			Anybody remember them?
		

			No.
		

			Because I mentioned that after Frasier and you are all half asleep. Let me repeat it again. So
first, and Maura Salia
		

			because our topic right, Alma Salia Tara feta ag book with a Rebo and her men who are there enough
see her when Malik righteous woman, when you look at her she pleases you. And if you are away from
her, she
		

			will protect herself and your wealth. You protect yourself herself and your wealth. Second word Deb
tekun Watier
		

			second good dried
		

			a good dried Subhanallah imagine every day in the morning you have to jump your car or every day
you're going back and forth to mechanics and all that. It's a headache. Right? It's a miserable
every single day. A good ride. Third, without otaku Asya
		

			what Daru takuna Washa spacious home. You have a house that is spacious, spacious not you have 1000
square feet and you and your wife alone no spacious means you don't handle a lot of bad I mean it is
sufficient for you. Like for example what it means spacious home because the home that for example
they have six members of the family and they have only one bedroom this is a problem it will be
everybody will be feeling feel something but when it's a spacious home everybody's comfortable this
will bring sad will bring happiness to the house and the fourth one is going to take a guess
		

			No, that's a different Hadith.
		

			Masha Allah and the good neighbor, Al Jazeera Salah a good neighbor, you know the saying in Arabic,
ajar Cobbler, cobbler Dar, Al Jazeera cobbler Dar, when you want to buy a house, you see the job
before you see the data.
		

			You see the neighbor before you see the house? Forget about how big what if the house is beautiful
and gorgeous and spacious, and every luxury in it. And your neighbor has a dog that barks all day
and he comes drunk, and he's fighting with his wife Subhanallah even he makes your house miserable
even though he's not inside the house. So Subhanallah how, how why is this for you think about it.
Subhanallah all of them are so true. So true. All of them are so true. Whether it's the right or the
wife or the or the jar or the house Subhanallah all of them and they swear the Hadith continued. And
		

			the opposite of course
		

			was chakra Alma, Tara Fattah su oak. What got me to the center, I think we're in the RIPTA Lana
Manhattan. I don't see how Malik when you look at her your you don't want to see her. You know, you
can you know look at her and unfortunately lately many people are going through that, you know, I
cannot like one brother said I make dua
		

			I asked Allah to curse her in every sector.
		

			The whole loan level
		

			how, how bad could things get for a person to make dua against his wife to this every Saturday and
he's making sure every senator now hello La Quwata illa Allah
		

			and then a dab you know the dab right that gives you a hard time for in the robata Tabatha Kabak
		

			will darken the car and the house is very tight and will jar a soup and the evil and the evil
neighbor. So these are the four from the side. So as soon as I said I'm told us to have a righteous
wife is from the side and you are an hamdulillah Ballymena when many of us I know you very well. And
I know that Masha Allah Allah subhanaw taala blessed you with righteous wives and will lie you will
not you will not maybe appreciate what you have until you hear what's going on in other homes. Then
you will go home and you will be very grateful to your wife or your husband do not wait for
something bad to happen to appreciate your wife. Show her from now that you are appreciated. Show
		

			her from now and do not say yeah, okay, we are in the 70s now yeah, what are you talking about? Like
one time when I and it's coming up soon inshallah when I said that to the brothers, yeah. When? When
is the last time you told your wife I love you. So when our brother from the 70s I share we are too
old for this.
		

			How could you be too old for I love you I have
		

			never told what I love you never to know. And to all the Rasulullah sallallahu in front of the best
man ever in front of the best men, men that are better than me a new and everybody. He said in new
way boy.
		

			I love that
		

			person. You know, can you imagine how she felt when she heard that as soon as I saw them in front of
Abu Bakr and Omar and the greatest Sahaba he said I love that Isha. How did she feel? How did that y
feel when she heard that her husband declared that he loves her in front of all his friends. And you
know what kind of friends we're talking about Subhanallah so you know can
		

			Ain't words yeah when appreciation, you know when when she brings the food just o'clock here, Baraka
Luffy K May Allah protect you, those words are free and they change everything Subhanallah you know
a kind word Al Kalamata Eva Dhaka, a kind word Yanni is more important to a woman then buying her
gifts and, and stuff that she that will perish. Subhanallah it kind word means a lot, you know, and
many of our wives are sitting at home and taking care of the children taking care of the home taking
care of everything that you know, belongs to us. So in return a nice word. Yeah, one very nice word.
And subhanAllah Annie. Again, unfortunately, this is this is not it's not happening in our homes,
		

			it's not happening. And sometimes, yeah, I get shocked when they when they when they tell me that
this is the, you know, a brother that's always in the masjid and the brother like Subhanallah and
you heard from the people of the massage that ALLAH blessed you to come and listen to these things
and to be in his house. So when you go to your house, you display all this kindness and, and love
and care that you learn in the masjid. And the
		

			very common problem that is also we bring it up also because obviously the people who are coming to
me, you know from the community so angry or when anger oh, you should see him when he gets angry.
You should see what he does in the house when he gets angry. That guy that you liked so much and you
hang out with him when he gets home and how he treats me how he treats me, you know, so control
yourself. You know, when you get angry, leave the room. Come down. Sit down Mikado pray to raka you
know, we all get angry, but how you behave when you get when you become angry. Is is the secret
SubhanAllah. So, number one Rasulillah Salam specified to have the one with the dean, the one with
		

			with the dean. Now, let me ask you a question. What does or what is the definition of a woman? That
is that has Dean
		

			what's your definition? If somebody asked you? What does it mean? A woman a righteous woman.
		

			She has a fear of Allah in her heart. Okay, what else?
		

			She has a higher modesty. Very good.
		

			Shakira, excellent. She's grateful to Allah azza wa jal, because every time you ask somebody, what
does the righteous wife mean? Oh, she was the hijab and she prays five times a day.
		

			This is part but that's not only you know, we all heard the Hadith that women not only wears the
hijab and prays five times a day, she is caught in saw even
		

			she prays all night and she passed all day. But yeah rasool Allah she harms her neighbors he have
enough she's in the Hellfire not only prays and wears hijab, no, no, she does the optional pm and
CM, PM and cm. So righteous woman is a woman that feels Allah azza wa jal, a woman that thinks about
Allah before she thinks about you. She thinks about, you know, the fear of the Wrath of Allah before
your wrath or your anger. She's feeling Allah azza wa jal. She is grateful. Like the brothers said
she's grateful for everything that you give her. She's always pleased. She's always trying her best
to apply the hadith of Rasulillah Salam about the obedience of the husband, she does not give you a
		

			chance to
		

			to be mad at her. And even if you get mad because we all do. She knows how to handle it. This is the
righteous woman, the woman who supports you when you are up and when you're down. She does not
neglect you when you're down and only Loves You When You're up. Subhanallah when she when she sees
you sad she pleases you. This is the woman this is a righteous woman, a woman that puts Allah first
in her life. And this is what the salah Salem is talking about. Rasulillah Salam is talking about
the righteous woman who controls her tongue. He doesn't go left and right and interferes and
everybody's business and everything that happens in the house, she spreads it to the whole family.
		

			Everything that happens in the house, she picks up her phone and Mama, you see what he did to me,
you know, she to her mother to her listen to her that Subhanallah So, righteous wife, a righteous
woman is a woman that puts Allah first and Subhan Allah because the minute the woman gets married,
her husband's orders come above her parents.
		

			Before that the parents number one. When the woman get married, her husband becomes above her
parents in the orders in when he what he wants, or what does he want what he doesn't want. Okay, of
course the respect of the parents are always there. And the husband should not prevent his wife from
visiting her parents and being kind to her parents and all that. But at the same time Rasulullah
salAllahu alayhi wasallam put so much emphasis on
		

			In the woman obeying her, her, her husband, I'm going to stop here in sha Allah Tada. And the next.
		

			The next thing that we should look for when we get married before we get married or is a solar cell,
the chef said, virginity, which one is better to look for a virgin or for for, for a theme, so
Rasulillah Salam, we will discuss that in sha Allah Allah. If Allah kept us alive to next week, may
Allah subhanaw taala bless all our sons with righteous wives, may Allah subhana wa Taala bless all
our daughters with righteous husband, may Allah subhanaw taala fill all our homes with love and
mercy and tranquility. May Allah subhanaw taala unite our hearts and forgive all our sins and mean
your bill Alameen wa salam ala Nabina Muhammad Ali, he was so happy Germaine Subhana Allah Allah,
		

			masha Allah, Allah, Allah and the staff Heruka wanted to wake