Mirza Yawar Baig – Respect is a sign of appreciation
AI: Summary ©
The importance of respect and appreciation for children is discussed, including dressing them in a way that is respectful and not plainly white. Sealing respect is crucial for their safety and success in events, and teaching children respect their parents is crucial for their life. Sealing respect is also crucial for teaching children respect their parents and ensuring they do not pass on knowledge and mistakes to others.
AI: Summary ©
Very strongly and deeply believe in is the
importance of adab, the importance of respect.
And this respect
extends
throughout life to everything.
It
obviously,
extends to and refers to and
is connected with, respecting one's
parents and teachers and so on.
That's fairly obvious, but it also
refers to respecting
one's work,
respecting
the environment, respecting,
even,
you know, the
way you do something
is a demonstration of respect
for the work, for the thing that you
are doing,
including, for example, hobbies and things that you
that you do just for pleasure.
Now that's very important. I'll give you an
example in a minute, but that's very important
because
respect
comes out of another thing, which is even
more fundamental,
and that is appreciation,
and gratitude, and thankfulness.
You don't respect something that you find unpleasant.
You don't respect something that is painful. You
don't respect something that is not beneficial. You
respect something
because of what you have received from there,
because you are grateful, because you are thankful
for that presence of that thing in your
life.
The example I want to give you is
when I first started,
riding,
in in the
AP Riding Club in
when I was in school,
I think I was probably about maybe
12
or 13 or 14 years old, something like
that, but 12 or 13 years old.
And the first thing that
the Ustad, the,
instructors,
Abdul Hamid Khan and Sayed Khanzab,
both of them,
the first thing they said to me was
to do with the kit.
They said, this is what you must have.
This is the,
you know, breeches,
you know, all called,
and you must
wear a full sleeve shirt,
and, you must have, riding boots,
and you must have
a riding
blazer or jacket,
which is
unlike,
others, which, would be which which would have
2 slits at the back.
This one would have,
a single slit,
at the back. So it's sort of, you
know, splits when you sit on the seat.
It, looks graceful.
And, then you must have a hat. In
those days, we used to wear,
what is called a solar topi.
So you would have this hat on your
head. Now my first question was,
why is all this necessary? I mean, I
have a pair of jeans. Why can't I
ride in a pair of jeans? Yes or
no?
This is how it must be.
This is how you ride.
So, of course, it was not a thing
that was left to my discretion.
It was quite simple. If you want to
get on to a horse,
be properly
attired. Be in the proper clothing.
Believe me,
that is a sign
of being
serious about what you're doing. And that was
their point. Their point was, if you are
serious about learning how to write, then it
begins with how you dress. It begins with
how you behave.
And then it went on to once we
did that, then we went on to you
start in the stables.
You clean the stables, which means including
which clean the stables means
removing the dung of the horse.
Right?
Removing that. And, believe me, those days, we
we didn't even know that. I knew there
were gloves, but we didn't know we had
surgical gloves and plastic gloves and whatnot. You
used your hands. You used your hand. We
didn't we didn't actually pick up the dog
with the hands, but,
with us we did that with a spit,
but
hands were involved. Hand was involved in the,
you know, if if you went into a,
an analysis of how
hygienic it was, it wasn't.
And cleaning the hay and all that. Removed
all that.
And then do not just throw it somewhere.
There's a place for it. It has to
be placed there, not thrown.
Then we groomed the horse.
And when we groomed the horse,
there was
just outside the door of the stable,
there would be a
a square
like a like a very
low
platform,
which was every day,
it was wet with, it was made of
red clay and it would be would be
lightly wetted
and it would be smoothed.
So it was
absolutely smooth and clean. Now when we did
the grooming of the horse using the curry
combs,
we would have to then place the curry
comb on that platform and knock it.
And you got an impression, the dust from
the the the the hide and the skin
of the horse,
settled there, and it would be a beautiful
rectangle
impression,
with like like a which had, like, a
grill on it, which was the the pattern
of the karigaw.
There had to be 6 of those
on that platform. And believe me, people
not only cheater, but if you did cheat,
they would know because of the
thickness of the dust that you that you
knocked the thing twice instead of knocking it
once.
So this was done. Once that was done,
then you saddle the horse, then you let
it out, and then you mounted and you
did your ride. And when you finished the
ride, you took it back into the stable,
You unsaddled it. You hung up all the
saddles. You rubbed it down,
took it to the water trough,
give it some water to drink, not too
much because it will get colic,
but enough so that its thirst is quenched,
bring it back to the stable,
and then put in the feed,
that he has to
the the hay was there, but he used
to give them some grain. So
the grain in the,
in in the feeder.
Now that completed the right. So the whole
thing, if you take it,
and this was to this was done with
every and I used to ride sometimes 2,
sometimes 3 hours a day, which means that
it was it it occupied,
about 3, 4 hours of my time every
morning. And I absolutely loved it.
Now this got translated
into
other parts of our life which is
how you dress when you went out to
dinner,
how you in in the plantation, how you
dress when you went to the club,
what were the if you're playing a game,
the
I never played cricket, but, you know, people
who played cricket,
they're whites. They're the clothing for the for
cricket. You play tennis, you didn't pay you
did not play tennis and cricket clothing.
You had separate clothing for tennis and so
on and so forth. Golf, I used to
play golf. So in again, clothing for golf,
those kinds of pants and shirts and, you
know, you didn't just wear any hat, you
wore a golf hat. Now all of this
and I can go endlessly about it. I
don't think I need to. It's quite clear.
All of this relates to the issue of
respect, the issue of other.
And that, as I said, comes out of
respect for and appreciation
of the thing that you are showing this
other towards.
Now
I remember mentioned the story before
of Imam Malik,
the
great
jurist and
the great imam,
whose followers today are
all over the northeast,
all over the,
of Northern Africa,
North Africa and so on. Now
says that when he
when his mother
used to take him to the
to
study,
and he studied under Rabayat Turay, Radhil al
Anhul Ali.
So Imam Malik and he was from the
Tabain.
Imam Malik says that his mother used to
take him for.
And he was a little kid. He was
maybe 5, 6 years old. His mother would
dress him up,
and she would tie a turban on his
head.
Imagine this 5 year old kid or a
6 year old kid has a turban on
his head and is going for salatul fajr.
Now we might say, why should a 5
year old kid be subjected to this nonsense?
Why does he need to have a turban
on his head? Where is the for this?
Where is the you know, did the did
Rasool of,
or did he say anywhere that a 5
year old kid has to have a turban
on his head before he goes for salatul
fajr? Is it salatul fajr who accepted or
not accepted? If he didn't have it if
he didn't forget about covering the head if
he didn't have a turban on his head.
Nobody asked this question because they understood
the importance of other. They understood the important
respect. This is showing respect for Allah, showing
respect for the for the for the masjid,
showing respect for the salah itself. So she
would tie a turban on his head. She
would take him to,
Salatul Fajir. She would leave him there.
And this kid
is no breakfast. No nothing. He's going straight
from his home to
Salatul Fazir. After Salatul Fazir, he would stay
on in the masjid,
and study with, his teacher, Rabitul Raya Ramitul
Laleeb, and along with other students.
And then his mother would come back to
pick him up at the time of Salatul
Duhr.
And then she would bring him home. And
after Salatul Duhr, she would bring him home
and then he would eat. Now this imagine
this is the routine
of a 5 or 6 year old kid,
and that is what produced.
Now the point I'm making here is that
the issue of respect
comes out of appreciation.
You don't, as I mentioned before, you don't
you don't respect things you don't appreciate. And
when you respect something, you're showing you're showing
appreciation.
Today, we seem to be living in a
world where respect has completely been thrown out
of the window.
And I blame the parents, obviously, because if
you don't teach children, they don't they are
not born like that. Malik bin Anas became
Malik bin Anas because of his mother.
And I can go on endlessly that. It's
it's amazing how these mothers had this enormous
influence on these kids
that they turned into some amazing human beings.
And in the history,
the father's name is almost not mentioned.
It is recorded somewhere, but it's not. The
main influence
seems to have been the mother. Imam Bukhari,
the other one. Huge influence. Mother was a
major influence.
Muhammad bin Qasim,
the great conqueror, same thing.
Al Takafi from Taif.
Mother was a huge influence.
So point I'm making is that it is
how these children are raised. Today we have
children.
Swahala, the,
you know, there was a time when in
India
at least, the Hindus and others would say
that the Muslim children have the best manners.
Today, I
I've I've seen children, first of all, you
know, small maybe maybe 4, 5 years, 6
years,
7, 8 years
running around and screaming like banshees in the
masjid
when salah is going on.
And if you object
and the parents get up, oh, you know,
children are so happy to come to the
masjid and you make it so difficult.
They come into the masjid. My my simple
question is, does your child behave like this
in a restaurant? You take them out for
for to to dinner? Do does your child
behave like this in a restaurant? If your
child behaved, like that in a restaurant, what
would you do? You won't say to the
restaurant owner, you won't say to other guys,
oh, you see, you have no sense of
humor. You have no, thing. The children are
so happy to come. There's a girl out
of this place. Either control your child or
leave.
Right? Does your child behave like that in
school? Does your child behave like that in
a in in in a in a library,
for example? I don't think you probably go
to a library. But if you do, does
your child behave like that? Does your child
behave like that on a public transport? In
a train, in a bus, in a plane.
Simple answer is no. No. No. No. No.
Then why does your child behave like that
in the?
Because you think you have this great freedom.
Let your child scream and run around in
the house. Even in the masjid, as I've
said many times before, I have no problem
children running around and screaming and playing and
whatnot in the masjid as long as that
is not salah time. If it's not salah
time, well, do it. No problem. I'm gonna,
you know, have fun. I've I've not, killed
you. I like that. But when there is
salah time, the point being that if you're
bringing children to the masjid
at salah time, what do you want to
teach them? If you are not there and
if you if it is not important for
you to teach them that they must respect
the salah, they must respect Allah, they must
respect the house of Allah, then why do
you bring them? As simple as that. And
of course, the usual example, oh, Rasool Rasool
Salam never Rasool Rasool Salam's grandson, there's one
instance, only one mention that his grandson
Hazrat Binali
came. Adalai came to the masjid and
lifted him up and held him up in
his in his arms because the little kid
was about to fall down. And the other
one is where Ravi sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
in in, you know, he in,
that that one he was giving a Khunba.
Another time that, Hassan or Hussein, one of
them, of the Al Anwar,
climbed on his shoulder when he was in
sudul. So he said that he didn't get
up until the child
could be secured. But my point is, first
of all, how many more instances
of this did you find in the in
the serum? Did he did did this happen
more than once? Second thing is, even here,
did anyone ever say that this kid was
running around like a banshee screaming? No.
One little kid, he probably escaped from his
mother's,
care at that time and and came into
the mud. He was little little little child.
He was tottering, so Naveed said picked him
up. Up. The point is that if you
do not teach respect,
you will not get respect when you are
old. If you don't teach them to respect
Allah, they will not respect you. Because respect
for you as a parent comes because of
their respect for Allah.
That is the Hakum, respect your parents. If
they do not accept the Hakum, if they
do not follow Hakum, then these kids are
going to treat you like dirt when you
go older. We see that. We see examples
of that all over the place of how,
young men and women treat their parents who
are old and who are now weak and
their their strength is gone, and they are
no longer earning money. They're not they are
no longer ATM machines and and and and
charge cards. So, therefore,
they are not treated with respect that is
due to them. And I come from a
generation where we have seen this respect with
our parents, our grandparents, and I tell you
the difference is huge.
And that difference is also reflected in society
and how society
is because this is where somewhere we lost
the thread. I mean, I I blame you
know, my generation also because somewhere we lost
the thread. We didn't teach it to our
children. And now the children can't teach it
to the others because they never learned it
themselves.
But the point is somewhere we have to
break out of the cycle and teach
them and teach our children respect because respect
comes from
appreciation. They cover the seat of the Masjid,
feet extended,
pointing towards the Khibla. Usually in the Masjid
that the in the direction of the Khibla,
those shelves all have the Quran. They have
mussels. They they sit there with their feet
pointed up at the mussels and the Quran.
They completely I'm not saying they're doing it
deliberately. They're not. They're just like animals. Right?
If a cow comes and sits down, the
the the cow will sit. They're like that.
They're like animals. They are mammals, which have
to be tread. They will sit there.
Somebody is giving the khatira,
the the alim is there, the imam is
there, their feet are pointed in the face
of the imam. The.
I mean, this is this is so
sad. It is so tragic.
If Muslims do not have other, then remember,
imagine imagine who will have other. And I'll
tell you,
we have, in our, for example, we have
a lot of interfaith
work. We have school children who are American
school children who come from the schools. I
have never seen any of those American school
children behave the way I have seen Muslim
children behave. Simple as that.
That is an actual fact.
Not one of those kids
behave the way that our own children behave.
Even though we tell them they ask, you
know, how should they be dressed? That's when
they should be completely covered. They should not
be coming they should come in shots and,
stuff like that. But do we have to
cover our head? That's not necessary if you
don't want to.
But, you know, but they all come. They
all come. They will have something draped on
their head. They come. They sit respectfully.
They ask permission to get up.
They ask permission if they want to drink
some water. Can we can we
can we drink some water? Of course.
The point being that they go through this,
and they have been taught manners
to the extent that when they are leaving,
invariably, even though we don't charge anybody for
any visits, it's not a museum, but they
invariably
insist on dropping some money into the,
into the donation box. We tell them, please
don't do that. We don't need it. They
said, no, please. This is our, you know,
our duty. We must we must do it.
They do that. The point is that here
are people who are not even Muslim, but
there are the their respect for environment, their
respect for the place they're visiting and so
on is so marked. But our people,
0. But really, seriously,
I advise you and myself, please teach respect.
Have no hesitation about that.
There is nothing
kind about
teaching somebody how to behave. If you don't
teach them how to behave, they are going
to suffer throughout their lives.
Right? So they must be taught, and they
must be taught in the best possible manner,
which includes
some level
of sternness and some level of
hardness if it is required. It's as simple
as that. There's no need to be apologetic
apologetic about that.
It has to be done if it needs
to be done. And if you don't see
the value of that, then think about that.
It's something that your parents should have taught
you if they didn't. So make the the
for them and ensure that you don't pass
on this jahala
and this ignorance to others.