Mirza Yawar Baig – Living Islam – Raising a Muslim Child #01
AI: Summary ©
The crisis of young Muslim men and women in India is causing issues of privacy and values, causing young people to lose their integrity and worth. The responsibility of parents to respect and treat children with Kindness is crucial, and the importance of learning to be a leader and not just a means of success is emphasized. The negative impact of overinos and mollycodling on children is highlighted, and parents are the ones who give children education and support. The need for parents to build a legacy is emphasized.
AI: Summary ©
Villa Ramallah Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Villa Mia even when saline. Muhammad Rasul Allah is Allah highly highly, he was able to sell them to Steven Cathy and cathedra. From Abbado, my dear brothers sisters,
we are on our lessons on raising a Muslim child.
And as I told you, the
responsibility of raising children is especially more for us Muslims, because raising children is not simply about feeding them and closing them and giving them a,
you know, dry place to sleep.
I may have mentioned this before, but in case I didn't. And even if I did, there is something that I do in my workshops or lecture that I do for parents. I asked people I said, as I said, How many of you have one kid? So somebody will raise? How many are two kids? Three kids? So I do this a couple of times. And then I tell them
kids are the young of goats.
The young of human beings are called children. They're not kids. So if you don't believe me, look, look it up. Right? Kids are the young of goats and sheep.
Sheep, actually, they're called lambs. Kids are goats, young goats. So I think the first thing to decide is if you have if you have a young goat, or if you have a young human being, because the rules of upbringing are different. For a young goat, all you need to do is to feed it and clothe it, not feed it and keep it dry, and clean. And that's it. Right, you you're done. But for a young human being, a lot more is required. And today, the biggest crisis that we have is that of
children who are raised up without ethics without morals, and without values.
What we even call education today has been reduced to a means of earning a living.
Just as I speak to you now, there is a huge crisis that is happening is a huge scandal that's happening in India,
where there is this group of youngsters. One is, I think, 19 or 20. The other one is 18 year old girl
who and and a whole bunch of them.
This boy who is what a 19 or 20 Merciful in another Muslim, but this boy created a created a, an app
for buying and selling of human beings. And he put on that app, the pictures and names and so on of Muslim women who are then auctioned.
Now, obviously, there's no nobody kidnapped them and sold them. But the point is that, imagine if your daughter's name is in that app, or your wife's name is Dara.
How would you feel?
Now think about this. The reason I mentioned this is because if you'd ask me to create an app, right, I would, I would just put up my hand, I simply do not have the technical knowledge to create an app, I can just about use apps.
So here is a young man who is intelligent enough to create an app.
His knowledge is technical, and he is competent enough technologically speaking to be able to create an app. But what's the app he creates? He creates an app to auction people.
Slavery, right? To promote slavery, and that promoting of slavery is doing doing with Muslim women by doesn't matter whether Muslim women or Hindu women or anyone, any women, I mean, imagine somebody creates an app to buy and sell human beings. And on top of that, this is a huge hit. Because a lot of people who are bidding
on this app for these women, who are real people, they're like people like like I like our own mothers and, and sisters and daughters and wives.
Now think about this, how does it happen?
We are not talking a lot of us. You know, we said oh no, you know, education will solve. Education will not solve everything.
Education will not solve everything. Just think about this. The people who designed and built and constructed Hitler's gas chambers were engineers. They were very highly qualified engineers. The people who sold all that equipment Hitler were businessmen who are also who are also
Very highly educated.
And all the global leaders who sat and watched while these things were brought and installed, and then 6 million innocent people died.
6 billion innocent people died. Men, women and children, while the world watched in silence,
global leaders watched in silence. Every single one of those global leaders who watched in silence was an educated man or woman. They did not lift a finger, not a single one of those people needed or or should have died or needed to have died.
The Holocaust need not have been started at all.
And I'm not talking about Hitler, Hitler wanted to do that. And saying the world could have stopped him, the world could have stopped him in his tracks on day one.
Because none of what he was doing was secret, it was all done in public, the world could have stopped him on day one, the work would have stopped about day two and day three and day four and day 50 and 100.
Those 6 million people died not only because of Hitler's decision, but because of the active and passive collaboration and collusion of highly educated people in leadership positions. So what are we talking about here?
What are we talking about here, we are talking about a complete bankruptcy, not even a lack a total bankruptcy,
of ethics and morals and values.
That is what we are facing today.
I'll give you two examples. One example from the 1930s. One example now.
Same thing, nothing has changed in almost 100 years.
Or whatever the sisters
raising children is the number one critical activity and responsibility of a human being.
That's why I say to people,
if you are not prepared, do to do what it takes to raise morally sound ethically sound.
Value Based children with with conscience, that work.
That is better you do not have to.
Because just raising children just having children, and feeding them and closing them and throwing
throwing
gadgets at them. Because that's our latest. You know, we think that as long as you throw enough money, and you throw enough gadgets at your child that your child is going going to grow up into this wonderful he will be he will not he will not grow up into a wonderful movie. He or she and we are seeing here women and men that no difference, no difference whatsoever.
This app which is created in India,
there is an 18 year old girl involved with that.
And there is this 19 or 20 year old boy and there are others all all in their teens.
Men and women
it's a big, big responsibility.
To please treat this seriously. Today, young Muslim parents are very anxious to ensure that the children are brought up as practicing Muslims. And as a credit, and they are a credit to themselves and to their parents.
There's a lot of talk about this people are talking about homeschooling because they really they feel that the atmosphere in the in the in the schools is not really great, and so on and so forth. All part of them, ask Allah to help them. But they must be aware that this is hard work to create an investment that will yield great returns, long after they're gone. The child is your sadaqa jariya
the child is your sadaqa jariya
it is your ongoing charity, the actions of the child will come to you and will and you will benefit from those actions.
Even if the child does not intend that to happen. Even if the child doesn't make an active intention and say I want my Tiller with the Koran or I want my hydro I want by this whatever activity I'm doing. I want this to benefit my parent. He doesn't have to say that doesn't have done here. This will automatically benefit you. But if he's doing it
if he's doing it if you have a child who never taught to pray
He's sleeping in the in his house while the Salah is going on is not gonna benefit you.
Right? So think about that
the alternative is to leave behind a legacy of water
and that will eat its own result. May Allah save us for that. Now what kind of investments our children will be, is entirely up to the parents
that many people feel that you know, they want to sort of spoon feed and handhold I want to quote for you what em Foster said he said spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. So stay far away from that. Now Islam recognizes the nuclear family, husband, wife, children, as the basic building block of society. And so Allah subhanaw taala mentioned parents over a dozen times in the Quran and honored them and enjoined upon children, that they must respect and obey and treat them with kindness especially when they are old.
Allah Jalla Jalla who mentioned the relationship of the spouses and he called it one of his if he called is one of his signs. And he emphasized its qualities of faithfulness, and tranquility and love and mercy.
And he said, When iOttie and Haleakala calm mean, unphysical as wide
Lita scudo Helia * by nakoma dot Omarama in the Viva eCola, IRT Liko Miyata FeCO, Allah said which means And among His Signs is this, that he created for you wives, spouses, as virgin spouses from from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them. And he has put between you affection and Mercy. Verily, in that, indeed are signs for people who reflect
about the duty to parents and how children should relate to them, Unless rather, I said, to look man, which means And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him, she carried him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship. And his weaning is in two years, give thanks to Allah subhanaw taala give thanks to me, and to your parents, and unto me is the final destination. However, all this is based on the responsibility that he geladeira who sent the parents with
the honor is a result of fulfilling that responsibility. If parents do not fulfill the responsibility, and instead misguide children, and encourage them to disobey Allah, and His Messenger SallAllahu sallam, then Allah subhanaw taala said, the limits of obedience is one of the Hon. Allah subhanaw taala said which means, And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents, but if they strive to make you join with me in worship, anything as a partner, of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them. unto me is your return. And I shall tell you what he used to do. So, obedience
is
his virgin is, is a compulsory on the on the children, obedience of parents,
except when the parents, tell the children or try to compare the children to disobey Allah subhanho data, the first and foremost of which is shook. But any other disobedience of Allah subhanaw taala also comes in this
a big misconception that Muslim parents have is that their responsibility is like that of any other parents,
feed them, clothe them, shelter them, send them to a good school, usually meaning expensive school, and safeguard their future by investing for them if they have the funds to do that. And that's it. Well, it isn't.
Given that Allah tell us and Muslims with a special responsibility, it can and must be argued that merely taking care of the physical and to an extent emotional needs of the child is not sufficient for a child, which has come with his destiny, written to be a leader,
as well as the practice of Kings of old princes and princesses were taught and raised differently from ordinary people. They were raised to prepare them for the responsibility that their birth loaded them with.
The son or daughter of the monarch had his or her career choice predetermined.
They have no choice in the matter, and so they must prepare for it.
We have myriad examples of what happened to those who prepared and those who ignored that responsibility and simply spent their lives in pursuit of pleasure.
They lost everything, including their privileged positions, and in many cases, their heads.
I argue that the Muslim child is in the same position, not as a future king or queen, but as a leader, leading not to worldly success alone, but to success in both worlds. Therefore, he or she must be prepared and equipped to fulfill that trust. He or she must be treated differently, taught differently, enabled differently and inspired differently. It is not for the young of the Golden Eagle, to be taught to scratch for dirt, scratching the dirt for once.
He must be taught to fly in the eye of the storm and take his prey on the wing
Allama Viola Lally said in his
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Naza and the meaning of it
which is start from the first year there is ofay Frankie there Carlina Irani Lahoma score Lottie hair Giovanna Kitana, sunny, he says you're so far as are from Europe, your carpets are from Iran. The luxury and ease seeking of youth makes me cry tears of blood. He says leave alone leadership, Amara leader on leadership what use is it? Even if you get the pomp of fossil
you have neither the power of either a decision
nor the content but of cinema and Farsi.
Do not seek in the glitter of modern society don't see this, which is don't seek the courage of Satan Ali, or the
externa or contentment or Salmaan versus other la Noir. He said do not seek this in the glitter of modern society, for in contentment. I have found the peak the marriage of being Muslim.
Only when an eagle is talking about Robocop, which is the Golden Eagle. He says only when the Golden Eagle spirit awakens in youthful hearts. Does it see its destination in the heavens? Despair not for despair as the decline of knowledge and understanding. The faith of the believer is in the hearts of those who know Allah subhanho wa taala. And then he says Your home is talking to the Golden Eagle. He's talking to the young Muslim. He said your home is not on the dome of the royal palace. You are an eagle make your home on the rocks of the mountains and the peaks of the mountains.
I'm sure all the speakers especially those who make it a point to agitate for the production and development of or do have children who know these verses and can understand that.
If not we see we need not seek further than within ourselves.
The answer to why it is that almost a century after all, Allah has been said these words. We are still scratching in the dirt.
Development change happens when we work for it. Not when we shout about its need.
would actually do nothing,
or the will develop when we learn and teach it to our children. Not when we agitate for the for the government to support what we wrote.
I met many parents who struggled very hard to overcome difficult circumstances in their childhood,
especially in my consulting, work with business families. I've met many business founders, who say to themselves and everybody else, with great emotion, very great passion, tears in their eyes, I will never allow my children to face the hardship that I had to go through.
They say this really, very passionately from the heart. When I hear this statement, I tell them, why don't you reword this? Why don't we change the words to say instead, I will never allow my children to build resilience and character and strength. I will never allow them to have the power that I had to succeed. They, they're shocked. This response comes as a shock to them, because they were expecting appreciation.
They never thought about their view, on raising of children in that light. But that is the truth. overprotection and mollycoddling is the worst thing that parents can do to the children.
And forgive me for saying that. But by and large,
I'm not reading the men of the hook. But by law, it is the mothers who do this mollycoddle and protect their children and children manipulate them. The women don't even understand how the child is manipulating them.
They mollycoddle them and they do and they create and they produce children who are completely incapable of surviving on their own.
It's almost like the mother wants to break the leg of the child so that the child can ever walk so that she can then support him all the times. She wants to sat next to her tied to her apron strings, the noose around his neck.
I'm sorry, this sounds bad. But that is how it is.
overprotection and mollycoddling is the worst thing that you can do to the children.
And all we need to do is to look around and see what our children are suffering from Yes, suffering.
overfeeding, for example, paranoid mothers, or so or starvation. What do you see? obese, fat little children? Or do you see thin children? I'm not talking about children who are thin because they're starving or because they're, you know, in refugee camps I'm talking about so called well to do parents.
Child Obesity is a very major health hazard today. Why does it have
this mollycoddling overfeeding, produces fat flabby freaks, that are fit for nothing and get achieved nothing.
So decide what you want your child to be.
And then throw out all the garbage in your fridge
and check you out into the playing field.
If he returns with his shirt clean and his knees and scraped, send him out again, until he learns the real meaning of football, or whatever sport is playing. Because life is a contact sport.
Life is a contact sport.
Let him learn the real meaning of football. Life is a contact sport. Greenhouse trees cannot survive in the real world. One gust of wind will knock them flat. We need Nard ox with deep roots that can withstand the vagaries of climate,
water summers, and the modeling of gales in freezing winter, yet stand firm,
giving share to the traveler and bearing witness to life.
That takes nurturing.
That is a lot more than merely feeding Cerelac and bananas.
It takes wisdom, the willingness to allow them to fall. Bad is the wound but ensure that the lesson is learned.
Parenting requires the parents to develop themselves to a level where they become the inspiration in the lives of their children.
It requires us to face the fact that ignorant parents can only produce ignorant children.
Parents are no books in the house will not have children addicted to reading.
Parents whose conversation centers around the lives of other people cannot have children who could speak about great ideas
and dream of changing the world. Parents with major life decisions are which dress to wear, or which handbag to carry. They cannot guide children who are struggling with existential questions relating to their purpose in life.
Parents need
To wake up and face the fact that their problems related to raising children are really a reflection of how little they have invested in themselves.
poppers can hardly be expected to help others. The time to change now, it's never too late.
Today we have sitting and facing a world where one of my dear friends who's a psychiatrist, he tells me
that in his waiting room, in his consulting practice as a consulting psycho psychiatrist, in the waiting room,
there are patients who have who are contemplating suicide. And they tried suicide, they tried slashing the wrists and so on. So they have not come for counseling.
There are patients who want to murder somebody, they actually consciously tried and planned, in some cases, maybe even tried to murder somebody.
Guess what is the age of the patient? Eight years and nine years old.
Seven years old. Seven year eight year a nine year old children are committing suicide, attempting suicide.
They want to murder somebody.
This is our society.
Believe me, none of those children drop from heaven. They all have parents.
They all happens.
What kind of parenting is this? What kind of society are we producing.
And if you think that you are living in this isolated, nice little house, and everything is hunky dory,
and that you and your children will be safe, you will not because the outside world is is all full of people like this.
What will happen to reward our only choice is to send his message and convey this message and work very hard
to have responsible parents
not better to watch the handled responsibility.
responsible parents who focus on ethics and values and morals and want to raise children who will be a credit to themselves and and to their parents. Muslim families today spend far too little time in inculcating the value of contribution
of a generation creating its own legacy and not being content to ride on the back of the coattails of the early generation.
They give their children the same education that is given to the children of ordinary people who are not Muslim. They don't prepare their children for the distinctly different responsibility that they will have to shoulder
this is not arrogance, it is merely recognizing the fact that the Muslim child is going to inherit a mission that is completely different from everyone else.
They have been sent to give, not to take.
So we so they must build a treasure house of faith and wisdom and compassion and courage and talents. Because you can only give what you have. It is essential for them to understand the distinctly different responsibility that comes with such a mission for which they will be answerable to.
Parents are often equate expand with quality. They give their children the most expensive color education, most expensive clothes.
This most expensive education may time insulates them from the realities of life. And they never learn how to fight your battles. I've seen fancy schools advertising, we have air conditioned classrooms.
That's their advertisement. We give every child a laptop.
Is this all education is
what is wrong the child is going to sit in, in an air conditioned classroom. I'm not talking about in the freezing winter in a place like Massachusetts. I'm talking about countries where tropical countries or other countries where air conditioning is not required. Yes, it is uncomfortable when it's hot. So what that is like that is the word.
The word is not a condition.
But if you want our child to be completely protected from the environment, but he's going to go out into the environment, how will he be prepared to face that environment when he when he or she goes on out into that environment?
Most schools that's why
are very keen for the child to feel good. And they bend over backwards to make the child happy. Parents love it. Children obviously love it. But in the process, the children learn nothing about life. They nothing they learn nothing about how to fight the real battles.
Parents have no boundaries.
The school teaches no boundaries. And children grew up with the feeling that as long as they're happy, they can do whatever they like. Nothing is more destructive for the child than this hat than this attitude, which is as long as I
I'm happy. That's all that matters. That is the worst way of living. As long as you're happy. Your happiness is not the criterion, the benchmark for what is good and evil.
There are many people who are very very evil doing very evil things, and they're very happy doing them. They go to bed very peacefully and sleep doesn't make the action better that they make that doesn't make that action acceptable.
brother sister seriously realistic.
This world is known not only about us, if you are going to raise children
who tomorrow because of your raising, if they do evil, remember that will also come to you in your grades.
Ask Allah subhanaw taala to enable you to have children who will be a credit to you and to themselves and who will be people who will have the result and the end the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala but get prepared. I will do the whole series of lectures on this. Get prepared to work very hard. And remember this is worth it. Because you are the one who will benefit from this. Not me. You are somehow another VP while he was a member Africa was an hour ago going off to labor